#fuck it saga

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

1 2 4

(can be read as a standalone)

STEVE LOOKS AT HIS BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND THINKS FUCK IT

(ft. longing for a person that doesn't exist, queer joy, fighting internalized misogyny (and winning!) and bonding with a bitching telepath)

cw: homophobia (including slurs), child neglect

biblically accurate steve playlist

Carol once joked that the first and last time father saw mother without her full beauty routine was when they had Steve, and that that is the reason he is an only child. Steve doesn't think he has ever seen his mother without mascara and perfectly curled hair. Sometimes he wonders if his father ever did - he must have, right? They have been married for over a decade and had a fucking child together (even though it sometimes feels like they forget that last part.) But still, it's weird to imagine.

(Sometimes he has moments like that. He will be having a normal day and then a small insignificant thing will remind him of them and it will feel like one of those demo-monsters-whatever are clawing a hole into his chest. He knows that Nancy notices when he gets like that, but she has given up on asking him by now. He knows she wouldn't understand. Because she only knows Highschool-TommyandCarol, and it isn't those people that he misses. He misses the children that don't exist anymore - aches for the Carol that had a surprisingly dark and crude humor but would always apologize if she went to far, aches for the Tommy that would sneak into his house when both their parents weren't home and his brother and his friends were being too loud.

And the funny thing is that he isn't even sure what exactly it is that he misses so badly. Is it really Tommy, or is it just a warm body laying next to him in bed, holding him tenderly without any expectations? Does he miss Carol's wide smile and crooked teeth or someone who always has the ability to make him laugh, no matter the circumstances? Is it even a different person he is missing, or is it just a younger version of himself? A simpler time when monsters and other dimensions were only real in horror movies and his nightmares. A time when he only had to open his arms and Tommy and Carol would jump on him and they would snuggle together until he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

All he knows is that it doesn't matter. None of them are the kids they used to be. Hell, he hadn't felt like himself in their presence for years by the time he finally let them go. It means nothing in the grand scheme of things - but that doesn't stop it from hurting.)

Steve's relationship with beauty changed along with his relationship with his parents. When he was small his mother used to coo about his fluffy hair and big eyes. She would always tell him how lucky he was the he got the good looks from her side of the family, something akin to pride in her voice. Father would grumble and she would laugh but he got the feeling she wasn't kidding. (His mother was remarkably beautiful. His father was remarkably rich. Their marriage had been an unremarkable business deal that, as so many before, had not panned out as either of them had hoped. And then they had Steve.)

He didn't care for beauty when he was small. Or at least, he cared less for it than he did for his mother's smile when she called him her pretty boy. Any enjoyment that could be sparked by the former was extinguished by what felt like hours of hair-pulling and sitting still until everything looked just as she wanted it to - two of little Steve's least favorite pastimes. At first she would tug at his strands in warning whenever he squirmed too much (he still knows that the wall opposite to the sink has 125 tiles, and that the sixth one in the second row has a crack in the right corner). After a while she finally gave up, and he would be allowed to dance to the tune that was currently stuck in his head or mess around in his mother's special drawers.

He knows he was always fascinated by the drawers, even then. His mother would laugh at his interest. "Never grow up, Stephen", she'd say in a mocking tone he would not understand until he got older. But Steve just couldn't help it. He was fascinated by all the different textures and color. He didn't know there existed so many shades and hues of red until he found her lipstick drawer, and he didn't understand why both his parents got mad at him when he wanted to put some of her pretty glitter on his face.

The day before he would be left alone during a school day for the first time, his mother taught him how to properly do his hair. His father didn't want to at first, said that that was "girly shit", that he didn't want to see his one and only son "turn into a fucking queer". But he gave in to his mother, in the end, just like he always does. (Steve used to think that that was what love meant. He never complained when Tommy shoved an innocent freshman against the locker. He never asked Carol to stop when she invented another mean-spirited rumour. He never confessed to Nancy that her way of studying simply didn't work for him, that her flash cards sometimes only served to confuse him more. And when he finally did say no, they all left) (why is it always him that has to agree?)

At first he always woke up extra early to make himself presentable. That was the first time he realized that getting ready could be... fun. He didn't do it because it made his mother happy or because his father insisted he "look presentable", he started doing it because he...enjoyed it. He enjoyed how he could put the music he wanted and sing to himself in the mirror. He enjoyed how he could style his hair like he thought looked cool. He enjoyed how, when he used her Farrah Fawcett hairspray and closed his eyes, it almost felt as if she were in the room with him.

(Did he consider it, then? There was nobody to stop him. Nobody to make fun of him or tell him that it's wrong. He knew that he liked to feel pretty and that he wanted to see what his mother's blue eyeshadow with glitter would look like on his skin. But he also knew that only girls were allowed to do that, and Steve Harrington is not a girl.

He just knew that if he opened his mother's drawers that the others would know. That something horrible and unspeakable would happen. That something fundamental would change in him and that everyone would be able to tell, no matter how thoroughly he scrubbed his face afterwards. (There must be a reason why his father seemed so terrified of it, after all))

--

In psychology they learnt about the five stages of grief.

The first is denial. (They are going because they have no choice. They would stay with me if they could. They are just really really busy. The can't call because they would miss me too much.)

The second is anger.

Steve's second stage started on his second to last year of middle school, and with it came what Carol lovingly dubbed his "punk ass shit"-phase. It was a cold day in the middle of winter. Kenny hugged his mom before he entered into the car, like he did every day. Carol had caught a cold and wasn't at school. Tommy's brother came to pick him up in his new car, but he was already driving some of his friends and Steve didn't fit. So he had to push his bike back home (the snow was too thick to properly ride it) and when he finally arrived he was cold and wet and miserable and mad.

(He'd wanted to redirect his anger, at first, his brain so used to it it did it almost on autopilot. But he couldn't be angry at Tommy because he also would've taken the car if he had the option, and he couldn't be angry at Carol because she was feeling sick and that would be an asshole move, and he couldn't even be mad at Kenny because it wasn't Kenny's mom's fault that the rich neighborhood his parents wanted to live in was so far away from the school. And so all this anger was redirected to the one target he had left.)

Admittedly, his "punk ass shit"-phase only lasted until his parents returned (his mother didn't let him out of the house until his appearance was to her liking), but he remembers feeling very cool. He still chose his outfit the morning before, but he purposely used the same shirt multiple times and sometimes wore it with the back in the front or inside out. He would still mess with his hair, but instead of making it look stylish his goal was to make it look even messier than when he'd woken up.

(Sometimes he stared a bit too long at the drawers before he left).

Those few days were the most fun he'd ever had in the morning. It was also the first time he realized that it was possible to style himself how he wanted, not how his mother had always done it.

--

Steve didn't properly realize that makeup was even an option for people like him (Boys. Men. Harringtons.) until David Bowie. It was 1974 and Diamond Dogs was everywhere. His father didn't want him to listen to it, had said that this was music for degenerates, and Harringtons aren't fucking degenerates. (Steve had decided to keep to himself that he had said a bad word that supposedly only degenerates used, too. He had learnt by then that the same rules that applied to him did not apply to his father.)

It wasn't until he, Carol and Tommy went to the record shop that he understood why his father was so against it. He couldn't explain the low sloop in his stomach or the excitement igniting his heart when he saw the album cover for the first time. Bright red lips that couldn't be natural, shadowed eyes that made the blue seem so much brighter and...oh. Until he suddenly could. A smile spread on his face, a tiny private thing, because of course. It makes so much sense, how did he not figure it out sooner? A feeling of euphoria went through him unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Something clicked into place, he found another piece of the messed up puzzle that was Steve Harrington and for the first time he felt whole. He knew he could never tell anyone, knew he never could let his parents find out (fairy, sissy, degenerate), but...he didn't want to. This was something that belonged to only him. He wouldn't have to bargain it with others so they wouldn't leave, he wouldn't have to twist and change it and force it into a different form. It was something just for himself, something he could just let be, something purely Steve. (He then buried this realization and decided to never think about it again.)

Carol and Tommy moved on without him. He didn't even notice, so lost in his thoughts and the joys of discovery.

A lock of black hair shook him out of his reverie. "You look as if you were Gollum and Bowie here was waving the ring in front of your nose."

Steve needs a second to sort through the turmoil inside of him and remember where he is. He needs another to realize that whatever the other boy just said didn't make any fucking sense.

"...He isn't wearing any rings."

The boy rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't fall out of his head. He then launches into an overexcited explanation that Steve couldn't understand even if he wanted to. The only thing he can vaguely gleam from it is that he should feel insulted for being called a "Gollum" or something. When the boy pauses to catch his breath (he could be a really good swimmer, a part of him absentmindedly thinks, with these impressive lungs and slim figure) Steve uses the chance to try and redirect the conversation into more familiar territory.

"So, you like David Bowie?" is apparently the wrong thing to say, because he looks as if Steve just murdered his dog in front of him. Then again, the boy offers him a kiss (?!) so maybe he just strongly misread the situation. (Steve ignores the excitement in his gut when the word leaves the other's lips. "KISS", as if a kiss between two boys was the most normal thing in the world.)

By the time the boy grabs his wrist and drags him across the shop, Steve has decided to just go with the flow. He feels a bit disappointed to find out that KISS is just a band the other really enjoys. At seeing his lackluster expression, hr decides that Steve is "already too brainwashed by the masses" and a "hopeless cause", and Tommy and Carol find him again soon after the other leaves.

("What were you doing at the freak corner?", Tommy asks. Steve isn't sure why he changes the subject instead of answering.)

--

Steve tries not to let his disappointment show when he returns back home to find out that his parents returned early. "Surprise!", his mother says, followed by a scolding by his father for not being appropriately ecstatic. Two days later they are leaving again. He hugs his mother and shakes his father's hand and as soon as he hears their car leave the driveway he sprints upstairs to the bathroom.

Why didn't he do it this time?

Maybe it was paranoia: what if his parents decided the surprise visit was actually super awesome and suddenly returned? Maybe it was because David Bowie was a superstar, a god, unattainable and unstoppable; and he was just Steve Harrington, a small boy living in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. Or maybe it all came down to the simple fact that he was a boy, and he liked being a boy, and he wanted to be seen as a boy, and the thought of someone looking at him and thinking "girl" made his skin crawl.

So instead of rummaging through his mother's drawers and searching for the closest shade of lipstick to what Bowie is wearing on the cover of Diamond Dogs, he invented the skull game. It is simple really, all you need is a face and a mirror. You stare into the mirror, and you start noticing. You start noticing how pale your face looks in the blue bathroom light - or does it always look this way? You start noticing how deep your eyebags truly are, how dark and big and round and noticeable. You start noticing how sunken-in your cheeks actually look. And slowly, you stop being a person. Pale becomes white, blue becomes black, sunken-in becomes emaciated. And so you transform yourself into a living skull, into something that doesn't exist. Into something small and odd and also a little bit sad.

He isn't sure why he plays it, it certainly isn't fun and he's a bit scared of how much time can pass by without him noticing, but it is weirdly addicting.

--

The first time he sees a real-life boy wearing makeup in Hawkins, it is in the most surprising place and on the least surprising person.

Steve knows for a fact that he has never met Eddie Munson. Or, he is pretty sure, at least (he was never very good with faces). Eddie is two years older than him, so they never saw each other at middle school, and they decidedly do not run in the same circles. Nobody knows what his first name is (Steve is constantly wavering between thinking it is something boring like Edward, something really old-fashioned like Edwin, or something completely bizarre like Edmordian), and most people only refer to him as "freak".

And yet there is something about him that has Steve seeking him out, even if unconsciously. Steve will let his eyes wander in the cafeteria and only realize that he was searching for Eddie when he sees that messy mass of black hair. He will know that Eddie's locker is in the same corridor as the drama room, even though his is on the other side of the school and he barely has any classes there. He will know that Eddie is surprisingly good at maths and somewhat passable in English but absolutely atrocious in everything else. He will have this embarrassing little list of fun facts about that weird kid in the back of his mind and he only realizes it when some cheerleader one year above him makes a joke about what the freak must do in his freetime, and Steve promptly answers that he is in the drama club.

(Later Tommy will pull him aside and jokingly tells him to "be careful, or the others are going to think that the king is gone for the freak". Steve takes the warning for what it is and makes an active effort not to stare anymore. He is somewhat successful)

It all comes to a head on a Monday. It doesn't even have the decency to be a special Monday. It isn't the week before or after vacations and there are no holidays or birthdays. Eddie Munson once again stands on the designated freak table in the corner and holds an overenthusiastic speech about conformity and shit that everyone in the cafeteria is forced to hear. And Steve can't look away.

It is not because he is screaming and jumping on the table - that already lost it's novelty after the first month. It definitely isn't because his speech is especially riveting - Eddie references so much nerdy shit Steve has no idea about that most of the time he doesn't even understand what the whole thing is about. His hair does not look particularly silky and his rings don't look particularly shiny. But his eyes. Oh God, his eyes.

Eddie Munson is wearing eyeliner.

And suddenly he remembers the record shop. He remembers how the little boy had wild black hair and loved nerdy shit just like Eddie. He remembers how the little boy was so enthusiastic about everything and talked with his whole body just like Eddie. He remembers how that little boy - how Eddie - had been the only witness to his silent realization that he wanted to wear makeup and really really liked boys.

He thinks of deep burgundy lips and bright blue eyes in shadow and sharp black eyeliner.

(The knowledge comes to him all too willingly, as if it had been waiting for the chance to return to the forefront of his mind. It doesn't feel especially painful or surprising. He doesn't feel disgust because the thought of kissing another boy excites him just as much as the thought of kissing one of the girls sitting next to him. It's more like suddenly finding the plushy you used to sleep with as a baby without having even been looking for it. A bit unexpected, but also weirdly comforting. That day in the record shop he had simply made the decision that it would be easier if he only liked girls, and so he stopped thinking about it. He had carefully folded this knowledge like he would one of his polos and kept it safely hidden in his heart, waiting for the day he would deem the world ready to look at it again.

He knows that the world isn't ready, that his father can never find out, that boys who like boys are dropping like flies. But he also knows that Eddie is a normal boy like him who just wore eyeliner to school. He also knows that this part of him - this part of him that wants to kiss boys and wear glitter and bright red lipstick - is so intrinsically him that it would be a disservice not only to himself but to the world to simply not acknowledge it.

Steve Harrington is not like Eddie Munson. He is not brave. He does not go to school in eyeliner or even dares to secretly do it at home. But he doesn't bury the knowledge this time. He tucks it close to his chest and embraces it, something that belongs to only him and him alone.)

--

He always used to think that makeup had to be bold and flashy. Karen Wheeler's bright turquoise eyeshadow. Diana's over the top blush. The bands in the freak corner of the record shop he could now confidently say were not his thing. Cindy Lauper's... well, everything.

The thought that he could've died thinking that if his parents had been just a little less neglectful makes his little MUA-heart shrivel in despair.

It went like this: his parents were fighting once again, but this time it was bad enough that his mother came back early without warning. After the third time his parents had left, Steve realized that it didn't make sense for him to lock the bathroom door if there wasn't anyone else there who could enter, so he didn't bother anymore. Those seemingly arbitrary facts are very important.

It went like this: Steve is sitting on the toilet and has just finished doing number two. Steve's mom, who does not know that her son doesn't bother locking the door when they aren't home, enters this very same bathroom. Steve's mother has tears in her eyes and thus does not see how her suddenly throwing open the door almost gives her son a heart attack. Steve's panicked brain does not fight or flee but freeze. His mother is wiping her tears away and washing her face and thankfully doesn't notice. And then it happens: she takes a tube out of what tiny Steve had dubbed "mama's less interesting secret drawer" and starts dabbing it on her face. And if baby Steve had had his mind blown at seeing a shopping list for the first time, current Steve's mind explodes when he sees her taking the skin-colored creme - and he means exactly her skin color - and starts doing magic. Suddenly he understands why girls seem to have much less acne than boys. Everything that isn't perfectly smooth skin disappears beneath a thin layer of product. Even her puffy eyes and flushed cheeks (so that is where he gets it from) are gone without a trace. The only hint that something was wrong is the redness in her eyes. He half expects her to have a product against that, too, but instead she raises her gaze and immediately spots Steve.

"What are you doing here?!", she asks. Steve looks down to his current seat and isn't sure how to answer.

It is kind of funny. The first big mark in his beauty journey was when he was angry at his parents. The second is a rare moment of vulnerability with the very same. Mother and son, standing together in front of the bathroom mirror. Her fingers were gentle as she showed him how to hide red spots and eyebags without it looking like he was wearing anything at all.

They never speak of this day again. When he remembers it, everything almost has a dreamlike quality to it. Her fingers seem softer and her eyes brighter and it doesn't seem real. (It hurts, a bit).

"Mama's less interesting secret drawer" becomes "Mama's and Steve's secret drawer". His mother says that what they do doesn't count as makeup - that they are just "correcting imperfections which shouldn't be there in the first place" - but it sounds like she is trying to convince herself. The important part is that it becomes a fixed part of his beauty routine in the morning. He knows the girls are envious of his clear skin and the guys keep not-so-jokingly asking how he can be keg king on the weekend and not even look tired on Monday. His nickname in school becomes "the hair" (he still religiously uses Farrah Fawcett)

Sometimes he amuses himself with the thought of his "ultra-masculine" bros finding out that his secret is makeup. That they could appear just as unaffected if only they got over their dumb prejudices.

--

(The thing Steve is most ashamed of is how he doesn't fight back. He doesn't fight back when the people he surrounds himself with - his friends, he has to remind himself - call others a fag or a fairy or a queer and mean it as an insult.

(The worst is when he slips up and accidentally uses it himself.)

No, Steve is not ashamed of who he is. He is ashamed of the world, and he is ashamed of being a part of it.

He starts playing the skull game almost every day.)

--

It is about a year later that he finds out that the biggest difference between covering a bruise and eyebags is the pain level. (He doesn't know it yet, but that is a lesson he will have the pleasure of rediscovering again and again and again)

--

The third big mark in his beauty journey has nothing to do with his parents, for once.

Nancy Wheeler is a beautiful girl and when he first sees her he swears it is love at first sight. He does not change his mind when her best friend dies in his pool. He does not change his mind when Carol and Tommy refuse to speak to him in the hallways. He does not change his mind when he sees the monster that turns his life upside down.

Nancy is his girlfriend, even if things are sometimes awkward between them and she starts blowing him off more and more. Tommy and Carol and whoever else he used to sit with abandoned him without a second thought. His parents aren't home either, but that last part is barely noteworthy.

It is when he is awkwardly sitting in the library while Jonathan quizzes Nancy for the test she has next period that he realizes that he cannot fall any further in the social ladder. (It is another unremarkable Monday.)

Funnily, the thought doesn't fill him with dread or grief or disgust. Instead, he finally feels at peace. Everything he had always feared has come to pass, and he is (mostly) fine. It is an oddly freeing sentiment. And as soon as he arrives home he finally tries on the blue eyeshadow with glitter he has had an eye on since he was a little boy. (It looks even better than he had imagined.)

--

Getting his ass beat by Jonathan Byers has nothing on being almost punched to death by Billy Hargrove.

Everything is black and then he is in a car and Max is decidedly not driving them to his house or to the nearest hospital and he decides that it is easier to worry about his plants instead of the very real danger of being eaten by monsters of another dimension or the by now familiar symptoms of a concussion he is already feeling.

--

When Steve looks into a mirror for the first time after everything, he looks exactly as bad as he thought it would. Which is not a good thing, because he had been actively trying to lower his expectations so he could feel relief when he was confronted with his face. Seems like this plan, just like all his others, didn't pan out like he had expected. Must be in the family.

When Steve finally arrives back home he just wants to lay down and never wake up again. Unfortunately, he knows that he can't allow himself to do that - the doctors were very clear on that front. So he goes tend to his kids (taking a second to thank god that his parents didn't come home when they got the call from the hospital.) After everyone was appropriately fussed over (especially the bonsais, needy little shits), he goes to the bathroom, opens "Mama's and Steve's secret drawer" and tries to figure out the best and most efficient way to hide all the marks on his face. (Call him petty, but he doesn't want fucking Hargrove to have the satisfaction of seeing what exactly he did to Steve's face.)

It hurts like a bitch and he gives up in the end, but at least he doesn't fall asleep. The doctor would be proud of him.

--

It feels somewhat odd - wrong, even - to panic about something so trivial, so normal, after all the shit they've been through.

And yet here they are. Kids who willingly drive into underground tunnels infested with flesh-eating monsters like it is nothing, but as soon as they have to slow dance? Suddenly they are all wetting their pants.

His first stop is at Dustin's. In all of his mother's wisdom, she unfortunately forgot to mention that there is a big fucking difference between straight and curly hair. He gets a weird sense of deja-vu as he stands behind the kid, desperately trying to pull his hair in a resemblance of his own go-to hairstyle (the idea of doing anything more fancy went out the window about five minutes after this torture started. He reminds himself that he willingly chose to do this. It doesn't help much.) Farrah Fawcett is in the air and Henderson is wiggling around like his ass is on fire and Steve is feeling oddly...paternal.

To be completely honest, he has no idea what he is doing. He is starting to suspect that the "for all hair types" advertised on the tin is a fucking lie. If it were anyone else he probably would've given up by now, but he and the little Henderson have somewhat bonded and the shithead has been freaking out about this stupid ball for-fucking-ever and he really couldn't do this to the poor dude.

After this foretaste of actual purgatory, his masterpiece looks questionable at best. Although he puts in a valiant effort in convincing both himself and Dustin of the opposite.

(Now he can almost understand why his parents avoided him as much as possible. (That is a lie. Even the thought of missing this makes him shiver.))

Mrs. Henderson wants to take an album worth of prom photos, but Steve catches a glimpse of the clock and just barely stops himself from cursing as he runs to his beloved Beemer (he doesn't give a shit about the little ones, but only the actual devil would have the audacity to swear in front of Mrs. Henderson.)

When he arrives at his house he would be fearing for his life if the person currently in possession of a loaded gun wasn't also depending on him to make his daughter's makeup for the ball. (You know the saying, never bring a bat full of nails to a gunfight. Although El would have both of them beat without breaking a sweat.)

He already lost way too much time on Henderson's hair, but Max insists that she needs to see Red Cactusfield first thing and that she also has to make sure that Non-Concussed Steve remains Non-Concussed. So he gestures vaguely to where said plants are currently residing and ushers El up to the bathroom before Hopper can change his mind and actually shoot him. (Dustin would never forgive Steve.)

As soon as Steve opens "Mama's cool secret drawer", El is fascinated by the blacks. Hopper takes one look at what she is so enamored by and immediately shakes his head. For a moment El and Hopper just glare at each other, and Steve is sure his mother's entire makeup collection is about to start floating. The image of his mother finding out that he somehow managed to break her precious hoard is more horrifying than Hopper's worst glare, so he swears up and down that she won't be going out of this door looking like "one of those damn punks" and throws him out.

When he looks back, she has found an eyeshadow palette that looks way more "damn punk" than anything his mother should logically own, and her finger - filled with so much black he can feel the smears just by looking at it - are halfway to her eye.

"Wait! No no no no no no no stop!" He manages to grab her arm before she actually manages to rub the finger all over her face and he isn't sure wether it's luck or the sheer desperation in his eyes that stop her from throwing him off without even lifting a finger.

She looks at him with the saddest fucking eyes he's ever seen and says in an absolutely devastated tone "But I want to look bitching." (Steve doesn't know how he manages to hold in his laughter. He didn't even know that she knew what a curse word was)

The poor girl looks absolutely heartbroken but he is sure that Hopper will make his life actual hell if she comes out of this room with bold black eyes. The only way he sees out of this dilemma is to tell the innocent creature in front of him the most bold-faced lie he's ever invented.

"Look, I see that black is a very cool color", he says, slowly kneeling down and taking the pallet from her hands. "Bitching", she replies, and he thinks he can allow a few swearwords if she can't wear the look she actually wants. "Yeah, bitching", he nods, "but black doesn't go well with your dress." (He feels like the worst person in the world when she nods as if he's just revealed her the secrets of the universe. Everyone knows black goes with every color.)

"But don't worry!" he screams before she can think about it for point five seconds and realize what absolute garbage just came out of his mouth. "We have lots of other colors!"

He almost sobs in relief when her second choice is a nice light pink. He wants to start applying it, but a shake of her head stops him. "Did you change your mind?", he asks, stomach sinking, but thankfully she shakes her head again. Instead, she points to herself. "Me."

"You...you want to apply it yourself?"

She nods excited. "Yes! Just like the girls on TV before they- before they go on a...a"

"A date?". She blushes and nods again. Steve needs to hold himself back from squeezing her to death. He hands her the eyeshadow, and she takes it as if it was the most precious treasure in the world. And then she stares. And stares. And stares.

"Do you want help?" He tries his best not to let any impatience show in his voice, but they are already running late and he still has to do Max (and that's without counting the time it will take to convince her to put anything beauty-related even near her face)

She shakes her head, seems to think on it for a second and then nods. "I'm nervous."

"That's okay. You know, the first time I used makeup I was super nervous, too."

"You use makeup?"

He freezes. He'd been so preoccupied with reassuring her that he hadn't even thought about the words coming out of his mouth. He considers running away. Hell, he considers jumping out of the window.

But he thinks of Eddie Munson and David Bowie. He thinks of the person he'd been before he was "dethroned". He thinks of chapped lips and of cherry red surrounded by blond stubbles. He thinks "I want to be better".

Steve looks at the girl before him - really looks at her. At her innocent eyes even after all the shit she went through. Thinks, fuck, this poor kid was literally raised in a lab, if there is anyone who won't judge him for enjoying making himself look pretty it will be her.

He nods. She smiles. It is as simple as that.

"What did you do to not be nervous anymore?" He doesn't need to look at the clock to know that they definitely don't have enough time for that entire conversation. So he sighs, and tells her the only thing he can come up with on the fly. He sighs a second time when he sees her reaching for the black eyeshadow again, but gives her the go-ahead when she looks at him questioningly. "You're going to look bitching", she declares. "Absolutely bitching", he agrees.

As soon as they are done he collects Max and Hopper where they are silently admiring his Bonsai collection (he can't believe these spoiled ladies are actually his favorite, not that the kids can ever know). Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think he has ever seen the two of them just....talk.

Max is so distracted by his new look he manages to spread some blush on her cheeks before she can notice, and even somehow convinces her to put on a colored chapstick and a bit of white on her lower waterline as an apology for laughing at him. (He and El make a great team. Nobody is allowed to call their looks anything less than bitching)

Unexpected talent #3: Make Up

[dark-elf-writes]

Odysseus after ten years of suffering, picking up Poseidon’s trident: Traumatize them back :)

Poseidon: Hey… Buddy… can we talk about this?

Odysseus: No :)

[ardenzia777]

Vengeance of Ithaca -

So Vengeance Saga is out!!!! The WHOLE saga is peak, however "600 Strikes" instantly won me over as being the song I make an art piece for~

We also now know whose blood is on the Trident in the Album cover

Anywho! when I was listening to it, i imagined the storm of Poseidon being released from the bag infused with all of Odysseus men, fighting to protect him and get back at Poseidon alongside Odysseus. Like a final fantasy summon!!

I imagined him rushing out of the water with the storm and his men as his propulsion, and once landed, the spirits of his men grabbing and holding Poseidon down so he can't escape what he gets for being a butt.

as per usual, chef's kiss saga, it's my favorite rn, and I will likely make art for "Dangerous", "Charybdis", and "I'm not sorry for loving you"

[sloanslone]

@gigizetz part in the live stream was chef's kiss!! Her calypso design has me crine...

Also, Ody getting flashbacks was me during the livestream 🥲

[maz737]

It is the great tragedy of this world that you can go see the new Mad Max movie, but when you leave the theater you still have to drive home at speed limit in your unmodded Honda civic. and use your turn signals

[peachpopfizz]

pov you are jorge rivera herrans 5 minutes after causing your fans severe psychological damage

[awnrii]

the crew

[lunameimei]

So that's basically what happened in "The Cyclops Saga" right ?

[gnomeantics]

i love knowing basic css

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Steve Harrington looks at his big empty house and thinks FUCK IT

aka

5 times the party finds out about one of Steve's hobbies + 1 time they force one upon him

MASTERPOST

AO3

#1 - Cooking

#2 - Gardening + [BONUS]

#3 - Make Up

#4 - Knitting

#5 - (to be written)

+1 - (to be written)

[dark-elf-writes]

Athena in My Goodbye: You need to learn to kill your heart and do what needs to be done

Athena checking back on Ody post Thunder Bringer and seeing him sitting there like:

[hawkeye221b]

Also not fucking Poseidon being like "you cant kill me" and oDY GOING "EXACTLY" LIKE SIR??? SIR

[australet789]

"How will you sleep at night"

"Next to my wife"

[idiotwhotalkstoomuch]

Love how for all our speculations on what Apollo's part in God Games could be about we speculated the cows, the sun, Troy, Ismarus and yet somehow forgot he's the god of MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC

[mushrooms-and-dragons]

Absolutely OBSESSED with how (spoilers for the Wisdom Saga) in God Games, Aphrodite doesn't mention Odysseus's romantic love for Penelope (like I expected), but instead focus's on his mom's love for him. Aphrodite is so often portrayed as just a goddess of romantic love and it's so fucking cool to see her invested in other types of love, too.

[kattythingz]

ATHENA AND ODY FRIENDSHIP TRUTHERS HOW ARE WE FEELING. HOW ARE WE FUCKING FEELING