#epic!odysseus

[sysiheart]

Odysseus playing a guitar ANGRILY at his wife

Penelope playing a violin EVEN MORE ANGRILY at her husband

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Yea so Ody is finally home and he’s with his wife and son. It’s all cool and fun. But hold on. Can you imagine how HORRIFYING Odysseus and his family must be to other Royals now?

Here is a king that fought monsters, witches, slaughtered most of the male Nobles in his kingdom. FOUGHT POSEIDON AND MADE HIM BEG FOR MERCY!

And worst of all, he is crazy smart. So negotiating or trying to make deals with Odysseus must be the most horrifying thing in existence at the time. You can’t threaten him, you can’t negotiate a better position than him, you can only just sit there and smile as you pray you don’t accidentally offend him.

Oh and that’s not all, If Penelope also dislikes you, you’re f***ed. Because Odysseus fought a war for 10 years over an oath. Imagine what he would do if someone tried something with his wife… OH WAIT, we don’t have to. He SLAUGHTERED them! And she might not even need him to.

She is from Sparta and by Odysseus own words JUST AS SMART AS HIM. The main reason she didn’t go out and fight those nobles/kick them out is because of the laws of hospitality (which are enforced by Zeus). But with her god piercer husband, she doesn’t need to be so polite anymore. And she held the kingdom together for 20 years! She knows how to handle business. So yea, don’t mess with her either.

And his kid? He’s a warrior of the mind now! Who has the favor of ATHENA! WHO in a very short time learned how to fight. Going from losing a fist fight, to fighting dozens of men who only overwhelmed him because he got TIRED of kicking their asses! He has ATHENA on his side as his best friend. Dont even try

Point is The Ithaca royal family is a f***ing nightmare to deal with now.

[sprnklersplashes]

after browsing some comments, I think a funnier turn the ithaca saga could've taken is the suitors beat the living shit out of telemachus and then drown him in the ocean, and when they're taunting odysseus about it he just looks at the ocean, raises his eyebrow and posiden spits up a very much alive and in tact but also incredibly confused telemachus.

the waves sound suspiciously like someone saying "nope" over and over again.

[padfoot-lupin77]

Odysseus: and what did we learn today, class?

Crew: ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves.

Odysseus: that’s right

Crew: You killed some of our comrades and you’re a danger to us too. So we must be ruthless and kill you to protect ourselves

Odysseus: no NOT like that WAIT no!!

[haley-harrison]

the girlies when overthinking the implications of Love in Paradise

and Ody's traumas in general

[desos-records]

just now realizing that in Warrior of the Mind when Odysseus and Athena are asking for each other's names, Odysseus correctly identifies her as Athena and says all this complementary stuff, but never actually tells her his name. oh, my man of many turns, you were right: selfish and prideful and vain, vain above all

[caramelmiacchiato]

the second ones here

[howmuchishayworth]

We gotta talk about how when Penelope sees Odysseus she says his eyes look TIRED. Keep in mind, his eyes are now red, the eyes he got once he became the monster, but Penelope doesn’t see that, instead she says that his eyes look tired, bc that’s what she sees.

[itsajollyjester]

Based on the fanart I drew months ago

[marragurl]

Me: trying to live my life

My brain: 🎶 Penelope ~why~? you know I’m too ~shy~ 🎶🥰😘🥰🥺🥹

[sysiheart]

Epic au where penelope leaves to look for ody and Suffering is just them testing if the other is a siren

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Epic!Odysseus: My journey home was long and arduous because I was not willing to be ruthless and the weight of my sins clouded my mind until I became a monster.

Homer!Odysseus: My journey was long and arduous because my men were f***ing idiots.

Epic!odysseus: Actually that was also part of that reason. Did Poseidon have it out for you? Cause he killed most of my crew.

Homer!Odysseus: He did send a storm near the end of my journey when I was heading to Ithaca, but that wasn’t that much of an issue. but aside from that he really wasn’t that much involved. It was actually Zeus that had it in for us, but mostly cause what I said before, my men were idiots!

Epic!Odysseus: Wow, you had to fight Zeus?! I had to one v one Poseidon and stab him with his own trident to get him to finally f*** off. How did you get Zeus off your back?

Homer!Odysseus: YOU DID WHAT TO POSEIDON!?!?

[sprnklersplashes]

Odysseus: *rolls over in bed and rests his head on Penelope's shoulder* Pen, be honest... if I died, how long would it take you to move on? Penelope: *strokes his hair* Oh darling... it's so cute how you think death can get you out of this relationship.

[roseofithaca]

Headcanon that post-Epic Odysseus has to get used to saying his wife's name in a normal voice once he's back home.

Odysseus: 🎶 Penelopeeeeeee.... 🎶

Odysseus: I'm just going down to the market, do we need anything?

[tazabel]

Draco Malfoy: "Wait until my father hears about this!" Draco Malfoy: is a spoiled little brat

Polyphemus: tells his father Polyphemus: his father tells the guy who blinded him he should have killed him

Telemachus: "Is my father dead or can't he just get home?" Telemachus: wait until his father hears about this