#from these very people who hate stereotypes and fight against them. amazing how they would fall to stereotyping a whole region of people

[actual-corpse]

I really fucking hate it here man.

I keep seeing commercials BEGGING for support and aid and donations for the wildfire victims.

But... why us? Why are WE called on to provide aid? We, who can barely take care of ourselves, are begged to help when there's TONS of money at the top in the government. And all those blessed celebrities? Why aren't they doing anything? These people with all this money are doing jack shit with it, and they believe they deserve praise when they "promise" to donate... Fuck that.

[rrylies]

altan isn't a violent person at his core it was just what other people have always seen him as because he's speerly, and for some reason the speerlies have a savage connotation when we have no proof that they were actually animals in the sense that other people keep describing them as. im sure that we only get the savage speerly stereotype because as a people, they were fundamentally different from the nikara and the mugenese. and since they were all (mostly) dead at the start of book one, who was going to negate all of these stereotypes? no one. (i could go on about how altan was slapped with the "last speerly" moniker when in reality he probably remembers very little about his culture and what speer was like before all of the war and the death but that's for another time <3)

even back in his days of sinegard altan isnt depicted as a particularly violent person, though he's placed in violent events. like in the fighting pits at night altan is pitted up against his peers who want to fight him at a chance at victory, to prove that they've won a battle against the last speerly and we have no idea if altan actually wants to fight them or if he's forced to (iirc it's highly suggested that irjah baits him into fighting by promising him opium if he wins, and he will, because he always does) (although that could've just been nezha being a dick) and even though altan shows no signs of violence or aggression (he's always depicted as calm, stoic, etc) he's always painted as something less than human, an animal simply because ??? he wins their fights? as if that's not something he's expected to do in the first place. ("how did he do that? isn't he human?" "he isn't, he's speerly" this quote. ARGHARAGH RABAN ILY BUT SHUT UPPP)

and back to the stereotypes of speerlies and why they're painted as rabid animals even though there's no proof that they are. the main thing i can think of rn is how the federation (+ the mugenese) think of them simultaneously as something divine and to be studied but also as these rabid beasts at the same time. like the federation soldiers are clearly afraid of fire / the speerlies (i have a separate hc that their culture has something to do with this but that is also for another time <3) shiro mentions how precious and important the speerlies are (and yet his people bombed altan's? ://) while taking every opportunity he can to pick altan apart. then people wonder why altan's vicious towards the federation and hates them with every fiber of his being and why he has so much pent-up anger within him and it's like, hello?? they took him captive when he was a child, and sent him to the laboratory with shiro where he would spend half of his life being cut open and dissected, injected with opium time and time again, forced to watch his people die off one by one without the knowledge that he was the last until after he'd been rescued. (this still gets me btw no im not in tears) and then even when he's out, his suffering isn't over, (it's never over lets be real) because he's shipped off to sinegard academy where he'll be surrounded by so many different conflicting stereotypes (the nikara think he's an animal because he's speerly but shiro thought he was amazing because he was speerly, because of his connection to the phoenix) and really, he's not violent, not at his core, but i cant imagine the inner turmoil altan went through his first few years out of the lab + his first year at sinegard where he was the only one who was different (and also fighting an opium addiction at the same time and people belittle him over this when it literally wasn't his fault)

like altan was not violent. he was calm and he had his moments of peace, but ultimately because of everything that had happened to him (cough. shiro u motherfucker), the violence was forced out of him and became all he knew ("chaghan said they trained you like a dog at the academy" ://) and he literally didn't know any better, he was failed by every single person who should have helped him. (never getting over this btw)

yin riga, a man who he trusted, sent him away to shiro. (will never not think of how much little five year old altan trusted riga and then. well.) jiang, who was supposed to help him with his connection to the phoenix, shunned him. irjah, who was his supposed caretaker, who only fed his opium addiction in order to control him, just like how shiro did, just like how the nikara did to the speerlies (parallels. yaaay.)

in the end altan trengsin wasn't a violent person, but it was all anyone wanted to see. it was all anyone would remember him by.

[ilikekidsshows]

Talking about Teen Titans Go and how the crew scammed the fans remind me of how I feel scammed by Miraculous.

The reason why Miraculous take my interest is because of Chat Noir, simply because he remind me of my favorite character, Ikuto from Shugo Chara, who not only they have same animal motif but also similar family problem. So I thought with how similar these two cat boys situation is, then their goal would be similar, gaining freedom. And considering his name on the title, I thought he'd be an important character which means he'll get more screen time more than Ikuto.

But boiiiiiiiiiii... I can't even imagine how wrong I was. That it turned out, the cat boy in Miraculous is nothing but part of marketing bait and only that. ...and Ikuto, despite not being the-so-called-deuteragonist have more agency, more important role than Chat Noir ever is and more screen time. I feel want to laugh at the irony.

All that anticipation, for nothing.

Instead of let Chat Noir do the leading in the plot and episode that revolve around his family, the show shoved me this girl who's hobby is stalking her crush and make it everything into her business, even when she has no relevance in the episode.

Chat Noir having traumatic scene? Nope! Here's the girl having a break down for a very trivial reason but you must feel her sadness because she is the protagonist and the only one you must care for!!!1!

For a show that tagline is Girl Power it sure has a Girl Loser as a protagonist.

Maybe... just maybe if Marinette is as capable as Amu or any other magical girl protagonist, I wouldn't hate her so much for being shoved into every episode. But what Marinette really good at is manipulating people by whining about how miserable her life is because her crush doesn't notice her boohoooo and throwing the cat to the enemy, aside from that I don't even know what's so likeable about her.

The fact that Marinette, being 14 but has less emotional intelligence than Amu who's 11 is bizarre.

I don't even know why she's still the hero when she doesn't seems to like the role? And I don't even know what the crew has in mind when they create her because she's not a good role model for young children who watch the show.

I really wish I could unsee the show because it's really not worth it, but I truly feel bad for the young boy who watch the show because of Chat Noir and hope to see him in cool action just for the show to tell them that girls is superior than boys and boys is only good for being emotional support for the girls.

(which remind me of my ex friend who said similarly with the addition "it's ok to be sexist towards man and disrespect them, men always do that to women anyway")

--

Yeah, there's a reason my cartoon blog also functioning as a support blog for people disappointed with Miraculous actually started off as a support blog for Adrien fans who didn't want SentiAdrien to happen. This blog is being run by an unrepentant Adrien stan for other people who like Adrien too much for this show’s writers’ comfort. I'm not gonna lie, of the “Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir”, I was more interested in the latter.

Like, I’ve had a tendency to go against anything that feels too close to writers telling me how I should feel about their characters. This is why I never bought into the “Ladybug is the coolest, strongest, bestest hero ever and so selfless and amazing” narrative. I always looked at what actually happened in the episodes and what I saw was a pretty weak protagonist who runs away from battles and needs her far more competent in a fight  partner to carry her weight in battles until she can come up with a winning strategy. I figured, yeah, Ladybug’s the smart one while Cat Noir is the strong one, kinda stereotypical but whatever. But no, apparently the girl who runs away and leaves her sidekick to fight alone is the best combatant ever and the sidekick able to hold the line by himself against superior odds is weak and useless.

Astruc really is proving his statement that Miraculous is cheap to write because they don't waste money on rewrites correct. They repeatedly show the opposite of what they intend to say, and, apparently, always have, since the beginning of the show.  Almost like puting down the money and effort to edit a story is a good idea.

Marinette stans like the version of Marinette that lives in their head. This Marinette hasn't done the things canon Marinette has or, if she has, she had far more sympathetic reasons for it or was in some other way more justified. Because, while Marinette was selfish, entitled, narrow-minded and weak-willed all along, her behavior has been escalating in stages so that the stans can ignore that this is a pattern and just think she's made only a couple of really bad mistakes. And if they can't ignore those mistakes, they'll try to paint Marinette's victims as being worse people morally based on basically nothing, so that they can imply these characters deserve to be treated like shit by the “morally superior” Marinette.

The fanworks made by people who still like Marinette prove this. Marinette acts either out of character, or her behavior is softened considerably from canon, or the people around her are making things more difficult and Marinette is just reacting to that. The people who like Miraculous have always had very different views on what even goes on in the show than the people who hate it, but now it’s also not matching the people who used to like the show but have since given up on it.

Hot take, but the “team member who just happens to be a different gender from the target audience” is possibly the best way to teach equality to kids. By, you know, showing equality. No reversing harmful gender stereotypes without any care over what that says, no pointing and screeching about how surprising it is that a girl is good at video games or making the boy the fanservice character.

Kids don't automatically know these stereotypes; they learn them. And it doesn't matter how much the adults around them try to teach them to not think this way, a lot of children's media still teaches these stereotypes even when it tries to subvert them. Like, Paw Patrol’s most prominent girl dog is color-coded pink, and somehow a lot of the little girls watching Paw Patrol decide pink is their favorite color, because it's a “girls' color”. It is to make marketing the toys easier, but it's still enforcing stereotypes, because stereotypes are easy to sell toys to.

[oonajaeadira]

In honor of Catfish Day, may I ask a question? What is Frankie's best line of dialogue in TF? (also every time i consider deep and evocative world-building, i think about your stories and wanted you to know)

My Megan, my Cheese. You are a lovely soul, did you know???

I will admit that I've only watched Triple Frontier the once, but of course "We gotta fly over the fuckin' Andes, man!" is iconic.

This movie was what I VERY LOVINGLY call "Bro Fare" and is full of boys-being-boys, full of drugs and violence and military and bad decisions. And while I applaud the fact that it kept me gripping the back of the couch in a half escape, afraid for all of them and what could go wrong next, it wasn't really my kind of movie.

And now I'm gonna say something that may raise some hackles around here....other than Pedro and Oscar, I don't really remember the other characters. I know a lot of folks like Garrett or don't like Ben or whatever, but at the end of the day, I felt like the other three dudes were just playing your run of the mill military dudes.

But Oscar's Santi had a LOT of subtext. He was fighting against blaming himself for anything that happened because he called them all there and he didn't want to drown in it before they were out. There was a morally grey center to all of them, but I really feel like Oscar did an amazing job holding down the one that was the furthest from the light even if he was also trying desperately to protect them all. (Come after me if you want to say Tom was the worst, but that guy was just a damaged idiot. He's almost not even on the same scale.)

And on the flip side, I was amazed at the choices Pedro made to play the opposite end of the scale. You give a man a role like this, most of them are gonna play the military bro. These boys have seen service and it's easy to just play that stereotype (which, sorry, is what I felt the other three kinda did.) But Frankie is almost too soft of a heart to be there. His personality doesn't scream military in the Hollywood sense...because Pedro made a conscious choice not to play it. Any chance he could have swung into macho, he went the opposite direction, and listening to his lines and imagining how they are, flat on the page in a script, that role could have easily become that. He actually read his lines and found a different Frankie under them, chose to play someone who made bad choices and regretted them because he'd hurt people he loved with those choices. He isn't the loudest of the bunch, he's more a wallflower in the group because he's there to support, not be supported by them. And when Pedro asked himself, why does this man say yes to this with so much on the line? His answer was obviously love. He loves his brothers. He's at the fight not because he loves the fight but because he loves his friend. He hates saying no to Santi when he's asked to go because he doesn't want to disappoint his friend and you can see it in how he pussyfoots around his (very valid and nothing to be ashamed about) excuse. He ultimately says yes out of love and loyalty even if it hurts himself, even if it turns him back into the monster he wish he never was and Pedro made that choice to make it make sense to himself. And then he played THAT guy.

I love Pedro just as much as the rest of you, but I make a living in the theater and beyond his looks and his killer personality, I respect Pedro's acting chops and his choices and his deliveries so very very very much. I'm wowed by him on a nerrrrrrdily technical level. It's what drew me to him in the first place--when Din took off his helmet and told Grogu it would be alright and barely held it together, when this big tough warrior showed his face and that actor was not afraid to show that emotions in no way weakened his strength and could exist in a warrior in harmony, I was like WHAT IS THIS FRESH CHOICE WHO IS THIS FUCKING AMAZING ACTOR AND WHAT ELSE OF HIS SHIT DO I NEED TO WATCH NOW.

And now I can't unsee it. I love falling in love with his characters because they are so multi-dimensional, so nuanced, so real because he does the work and makes good choices. Every time a new role shows up, I'm a true Gemini: one half of my brain is squealing like a little girl because dur dur pretty Pedro boy and the other half is squealing like a little girl because OH MY GOD THAT'S A FKN AMAZING READ WHERE DID THAT CHOICE COME FROM.

He's amazing. And what makes Frankie amazing to me is all the easy choices he turned away from and yet made the harder ones look like childsplay.

[gloria5413]

MY Least Favorite stereotypes of the Ilvermorny Houses

Pukwudgie:

I don’t like the idea that they carry around med-kits. That just stereotypes them way too much. It feels like it’s the older Pukwudgies giving tips to younger students on what herbs, teas, healing spells. Older students would also help with mental health exercises and how to deal with different triggers. Not all healers have to be in the medical field, maybe they are good at emotional healing, helping other students with their mental health because they understand their own mental struggles. It could be small things like reminding their friends to eat, take a break, drink some water. They are probably better emotionally healing because their house represents the heart. But just because they represent the heart doesn’t mean they won’t beat down anyone who threatens their loved ones. Ruled by the heart they follow emotion/feelings more than logic. They are protective, might have anger issues, and might even have a self-defensive or fight club. They probably know the signs of someone who is suicidal or on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

Wampus:

Most people think of them as the big dumb jocks who hit first and ask questions later, but this is not the case. The stereotype is that you might envision them with huge muscle and amazing at athletics. As J.K Rowling stated Jacob would be in the wampus house. Even though he is chubby, pudgy, not the fastest or the strongest. To be a warrior you need to be brave, but being brave doesn’t mean having no fears. They get knocked down all the time, and even though they are tired they keep trying. Because sometimes you fight not because you think you can win, but because you need to be able to look back later and say that you fought, and that you tried. There are different ways you can be a warrior; it doesn’t always mean you’re in combat. Sometimes being a warrior means to fight against your own doubts, insecurities, and demons that plague your soul.  

Thunderbird:

Their whole stereotype is that they are restless wanderers, always looking for the next adventure to fulfill their high. But having the soul of an adventure can be interpreted in many ways. For most thunderbirds it can be trying out a new coffee shop down the street, doing to a local food festival within their own town. It doesn’t always have to mean you’re traveling across the world, spending money to do extravagant things. It could just be taking baby steps to expand their introverted lifestyle. It means having the simple courage to try new things and be open to new experiences. They are more like daydreamers who encourage each other to try different things without breaking boundaries. Thunderbirds are very Intune with their emotions are likely to trust their gut/intuition which leads to them exploring a different way of doing things. Many have the mindset to take what resonates and to leave the rest.  

Horned Serpent:

Since their house favors scholars many think they are just stuck-up book worms which further from the case. They may not necessarily be studious, but they love to learn. Some of them might have some learning difficulties such (ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, math dyslexia). Others gifted burnout kids that still get great grades because they can hack the tests and guess well. Some of them might love learning but hate school because it adds unnecessary stress to their mental health. But they are eager to learn about different places, ideas, aspects and concepts. They want to learn by real world applications more than books, they want the freedom to make mistakes and instead of getting penalized they are able to learn and grow as a person, that way they can pass on their knowledge to others. Being a horned serpent, they are most likely to also be street smart as well as book smart and by Combining the two it helps them and those around them succeed.

Written by Gloria.T.P

[nightswithkookmin]

CLOSE

All good things must come to an end.

I appreciate each and everyone of you for your thoughts today. Don't know how some of you managed to make this all about yourselves but it's alright.

And yes, Park Jimin is an amazing person you do not need to remind me of that or tell me why you stan him because this isn't about that at all.

Him being an amazing human does not stop me from being overly protective, intrusive, imposing, and grossly cross personal boundaries with him.

Some of you are just too fake and performative and I bet y'all couldn't wait to hit me with the she's a fake stan crap. Don't you ever get tired of performing for the circus for clout?

I recognize that for the longest time I have been victimizing this man and held on to the notion of him being oppressed in his expression of his masculinity as "he expresses a different form of masculinity that makes people uncomfortable"

Over the years I have watched him fight to 'be seen and respected as a man too' in BTS and in spaces he's been in. He's dealt with people constantly questioning his manhood and masculinity. Men don't twerk, men don't wear pinky rings, men don't give gifts, men don't say I love you to men, men aren't emotionally vulnerable and all sorts of nonsense.

I unconciously felt connected to that message because I have a little effeminate bisexual brother who gets emasculated daily because he doesn't look like thor, hates working out and likes to wear silk blouses with low cleavage that exposes his chest- and occasionally my waist beads and lipstick.

I have always held on to the message that men don't have to look a certain way to be men and that's ok.

I've always held on to the fact that Jimin had said he doesn't subscribe to mainstream media's ideals of masculinity so much so that I slipped into a habit of dictating what he should do with his body- the very thing I condemn others for.

When it's like the whole point of this whole positive body and positive masculinity movement is to give men and people agency to define what masculinity is to them and what it should look like rather than conforming to social standards.

I shouldn't be this triggered if he is experimenting with his masculinity because then I'd be perpetuating the same toxic masculinity rhetorics I stand against.

And in that sense, I think I've failed Jimin.

If my brother decides he wants to swap his Victoria secret for something much more woody, I don't think it's my place to demand he sticks to Victoria secret.

That strips him off his agency.

He should be free to do whatever he wants with his body- as long as he is not being pressured to do so physically and psychologically.

With Jimin, I started throwing tantrums on the internet and blaming beer ad companies and other external factors for psychologically pushing him to dislike his body and it was hard for me to accept or even consider he just might like looking buff regardless of how he felt about it in the past.

He's a grown man and that's inappropriate of me.

I think it's within my right to call myself out for saying stupid shit or crossing lines when I do in fact cross my limits.

I'm happy seeing men break stereotypes and challenge norms and I've become so used to it that seeing these same men celebrate their masculinity has become a challenge for me

That's a toxic fan trait right there. I'm toxic.

I should be happy when he celebrates both his femininity and masculinity but I'm not.

It's the same way I feel about seeing Hybe promote heterosexual couples and kisses in their MVs. I should be fine with it but I'm not.

I think it's preposterous that I want him to highlight and celebrate his feminity but not his masculinity as an androgynous man. That's toxic positive masculinity too. Because if it turns out BTS don't like wearing eyeliners and skirts and the company has been forcibly feminizing them then that would be problematic and wouldn't sit well with my soul.

And I think part of me was afraid of that. That one day in a documentary this man will come out to say his 'femininity was forced on to him or something along those lines.

And I'm not one to lie about my thoughts and I don't want anything from anyone enough to disguise my true feelings about things. I'm not here trying to build no damn platform for shit. I was here to celebrate my ship, support my faves and just express myself and my thoughts.

I'm taking a break from stanning and being super obsessed with Jimin until I can be ok with him being an autonomous human being with agency I need to respect. If that makes me a fake stan so be it.

My body is mine and what I brand on it or don't brand on it is no body's business.

I thought of deleting this account all day. I actually have been thinking about it for a while. It's lost meaning to me.

May be I will. I don't know.

At least now I know whom to block. Lol.

May be I'll come back. May be I won't.

Just y'all be good and love yourselves. And thank you for a beautiful experience.

I'll keep the memories we made.

JIKOOK FOREVER

GOLDY

[cloudninetonine]

Cogito, ergo sum

Chapter: 2

Pairing: Connor (RK800) x fem!reader

A/N: Hey guys! I want to apologise for the long wait between chpaters but seeing as I’m on my last year of college my school work is coming before everything else so it’s a little hard working between them! Don’t worry, I’m not dropping this series or anything just expect chapters to take a little long to be loaded and everything! Also, this chapter seems a little too far paced for me, so sorry about that as well!

Tags at the bottom once again!

I do not own Detroit become human this is merely fanficion

Warnings: Bad language, physical assault, threats (?), hints of abuse, (Name) being weird like always, also angry (Name), mentions of drugs, there’s a bit of slander against drug abusers that I do not condone!

Undercut babes!

It’s fascinating, it really is, the way her beautiful gaze follows you as you round her, studying her feverishly, your eyes wide and bright.

She’s...well, words cannot describe her. Her beauty lies beyond your imagination and you’re not quite equipped to say anything that her magnificent ears deserve to hear, your words are below her and she’s just-

Wow.

“Ms (Last), please-”

You raise your hand towards the younger engineer, silencing with a small utter of ‘hush’ and he’s shutting his mouth, falling back to the side of your desk with not much else to say.

The android you’ve been un-shamelessly ogling for the past 10 solid minutes is still very quiet, she’s just watching you in her manufactured attire, shy, nervous, scared- everything you really wish she wasn’t right now because there is no way you want her to see you as some sort of threat, far from it.

“Henry” Turning back towards the engineer, he stiffs up like a board, sweat forming on his brow “Why didn’t you dismantle her?”

It’s rude, it’s horrible to say and it sours your mouth when you form those words, but it’s an honest question, you want to know why someone would do this, keep her alive, see her for all her glory.

The public spoke strongly about their opinions of androids, like toys to be played with, slaves to be worked, not the thing you so desperately wanted people to see them as. The masterpieces that stood beyond human comprehension.

The android lets out a noise similar to a whimper as Henry stammers out.

“I-I couldn’t she- um- I-” Finally, he sighs with frustration, Henry makes eye contact with you “She said was scared and...I couldn’t”

You snap back to face her.

“Is that true?”

She hesitates, one second, two seconds, three seconds, four- it takes a whole 30 seconds before she’s finally responding. “Yes…”

Your chest bursts in excitement.

“You’re incredible” Henry deflates in relief, placing a hand against your desk while you grasp her cheeks, her warm grey eyes glancing between your two hands then meet your own stare, confused. “Amazing, beautiful, fantastic, so, so much more”

“...thank you”

You sniff, then you’re pulling away, trying to keep your tears abay. You really can’t believe that your work has gone so far, that new forms of sentient are evolving from a human’s hand, you’re so overjoyed by it all but you’re also kind of realising how weird you’re being.

“Sorry, I’m becoming the creepy stereotypical scientist, let me just-” Pulling off your lab coat, you throw it over her shoulders, pulling it tighter around her for her dainty hands to grasp and hold, a smile growing on her face in gratitude. You’re really still in awe of it all but send her a giddy smile back “Henry get Kamski I’m sure he’s gonna love this”

When the man disappears, closing the office door behind him, you guide her to a chair, kneeling before her kindly.

“Tell me” She waits patiently for you to continue “What’s your name?”

When she opens her mouth, you interrupt her, grasping her hands “No, not the name you were given, the name you have chosen. What is your name?”

You’re at the beginning of history right here, you can already see the books that are yet to be written, all starting at this very moment, with you and her. This android, this amazing, piece of living metal, is the start of something great and you can’t wait to be a part of it.

“My name is….”

-----------

“(Name), I’m sorry, but there isn’t really anything I can do”

Your hands come down on the desk, expression unbelieving.

“But he attacked Ortiz in self defence, it’s not fair for him to be shipped to Cyberlife! That hellhole already has enough test subjects with other deviants, why can’t he be let go!?” Pushing yourself back up, you drag your hands down your face in exasperation “He’s a victim! He was defending himself, why can’t we let him off with a lesser offence?”

Billie sighs, shutting the file softly. “Because in the eyes of the law, he’s not a victim. He’s property and there isn’t much we can do about that. Besides, because Ortiz is dead, his ownership basically goes back to Cyberlife, so they have the authority to take him back”

Billie’s right, you know that they’re right, but it’s just so frustrating, so vexing that this is the case. An android, in the eyes of society, is nothing more than their components, why should they be given the same privilege as those who eat, shit and breathe?

Billie may be a judge, but they didn’t make the law.

You remember years ago, when something like this would have been seen as detestable, that the masses would have stood up to fight this kind of horror, but for some reason, with age came stupidity and ignorance it seemed. What the fuck had happened to you all?

You open your mouth, then close it, then open it again before huffing, taking the file from their desk and ripping your coat off the hanger.

“I’m sorry, (Name)!” Billie calls and you wave them off, shouting back a ‘Don’t worry about it’ then close their office.

The courthouse is only a few blocks away from the precinct, a good walk away, a good way to calm yourself down until you’re having to face the frustration that comes in with having to work in such a high strung place. It’s funny really, you used to say ACAB when you were younger, still believed it too, so it’s really a wonder as to why you joined, but then again sometimes to make change you have to become the very thing you hate-

“Detective (Last)-” 

You scream, almost dropping your files and jumping a meter within the air. Passerbys don’t even spare you a glance, a generation raised on the weirdest websites like Vine, Tiktok, Youtube and god forbid, Tumblr, have them desensitised to whatever shit people like to play at now-a-days.

“Oh my God, Inspector Gadget” A hand falls to your chest, checking your racing heartbeat “You can’t just sneak up on a bitch like that”

Connor, the big old puppy, tilts his head in mild confusion “But I called your name twice, detective”

Oh.

“What are you doing here, Connor?”

The android joins your side and you continue your way. “Lieutenant Anderson informed me that you were heading to the courthouse, so I decided to come and brief you about a new case”

A new case, of course a new case, deviancy keeps popping up all over the country rapidly but you can’t hold your surprise about the fact that it’s been a  few days and there’s already a new case.

“Deadass?”

Wait, you hadn’t mean to say that-

His eyes narrow “Deadass?”

A snort escapes you “Oh my God I can’t believe you just said that, it sounds so cursed coming from your mouth. I meant, seriously?”

You swear on your life, on everything that may be above and so much more, that the android lets out a laugh when he continues, explaining the details as you finally enter the office.

You realise, as he talks, you feel a whole lot lighter than you had earlier.

-----------

“This guy is as scummy as it gets” 

Unfortunately, you can’t help but agree. Todd Williams is about as charismatic as a dumpster fire, messy hair, messy face, stained clothing and the stench of alcohol clung when you finally met him, having to hold back a wince of disgust.

You don’t usually speak ill of others, but you know his type, from the way he carries himself to the way he speaks. You’ve had to face men like him before, his whole demeanor brings back bad memories and you’re so glad that you’re not the one having to get details from him, to have to speak to him.

One thing’s for sure though, you don’t blame whatever deviant decided to book it from him.

“Why doesn’t he just...get a refund from Cyberlife?” You take a sip of your milkshake, staring at Hank, Connor and Mr Williams who looked to be ending off their conversation. “They do that for deviants, don’t they?”

Yes, if you remember, the new flashy CEO of the hell corp spoke it for all to see, that deviance is guaranteed to offer you your cash back.

How inhumane it all sounded.

Gavin scoffs, drinking his coffee “You think a guy like that cares about refunds?”

No. You know why he’s doing it. It’s all about power for fuckers like that.

Mr Williams leaves, Hank is looking through his notes, Connor is heading your way, probably to refer all the information back to you and Gavin is taking in a breath to start his bullshit again, despite your civilness that you had been sharing.

Eh, peace was never an option-

“Your metal boyfriend is heading this way”

The noise you make isn’t human, it’s a mix of a wheeze and scream, like you’ve just choked on the air your breathing and in all honesty, you have, but you’re not letting that mother fucker get away with catching you off guard, especially when he starts laughing.

“Shut up, furry”

Your actually feel the air from his head snapping towards you. “I’m not a fucking furry, quit fucking saying it!”

You pat his shoulder “It’s alright, Reed, we all know you wrote yiff fiction in your spare time-”

You dodge his fist, running away from his red, angered face and petty insults, dragging Connor away from the break room to the side, all while laughing up a storm.

Having your attention on the android again brings back Gavin’s words, his tease of ‘boyfriend’ which makes your face heat up, in what? You’re not quite sure, but it’s enough to make Connor notice your oddity.

“What were you and Detective Reed-”

“Nothing” You cackle, patting down his shoulders to distract yourself “He’s just being an arsehole again, nothing to worry yourself over”

And worry himself he didn’t, because he couldn’t of course, android and all.

Connor was quick to fill you in, an AX400 by the name of Kara had stolen (the word kidnapped comes to mind but you know that the robot detective will just ‘correct’ you on your wording) another android, Mr William’s ‘daughter’, model YK500 named Alice after assaulting him the night before. Mr Williams had been knocked out after the ordeal, as to why it had taken him so long to report it. 

“Were there any signs of assault that you could see? Ones that could lead to a potential take down or unconsciousness?” Connor takes a moment before shaking his head “Yeah, I didn’t think so”

What a lying fuck.

“Let’s head to the briefing room”

Hank is there, as well as a whole group of other police officers, talking amongst themselves as you situate yourself behind the podium, screen remote in hand and smiling brightly. Your partners are at your side, Connor in his usual stoic stance while the old fart has his arms crossed, bored as always and you’re ready to debrief the many uniforms but they keep talking, even after you clear your throat.

You’re not one to get angry at being talked over, annoyed, yes, but anger leads you nowhere with a crowd, so instead, you use your most favourite tactic to date

“Pay attention to me or I am gonna start screaming people” You sing. Not a threat, but a promise. “And you all know I will screech like mother fucker”

The room is silent in the next second.

“Great! So-”

The door to the room bursts open.

“Fucking really-”

“Detective (Last)'' It's the front office assistant and by the looks of it, he is panicked, worried even, as he addresses you. You suddenly feel your stomach knot up  “I’m sorry, but there’s been an emergency with your relative Carl Manfred”

You swallow, hard. “What?”

The meeting ends right then and there.

-----------

Hank hurls to a stop right outside the entrance. You’re already halfway out of the car when he shuts off the vehicle, Connor is taking off his seatbelt and you’re already racing down the soaked concrete path to the front door, rain pelting down on you.

You barely feel it though.

You startle the receptionist when you slam your hands down, eyes wide in panic, breathing coming out in fast, short pants and just looking as though you faced the masses to make it to this spot, right in front of her.

“Carl Manfred, he was brought here about an hour ago is he-”

She interrupts “Are you family?”

“Yes, please, I-”

“In what relation do you have to the patient?”

Is she really fucking serious right now? You debated leaning over and strangling your answer out of her, letting her know what kind of fucking pain you could put her through in this very moment-

But the hand that is placed against your back keeps you still. It’s warm and comforting and keeps you from mauling the fucker right out of her chair, though it doesn’t calm your anxiety, no, but at least it’s there.

You turn to see Connor, who nods towards you politely.

Huh, what a twist of events.

Hank leans over from your other side, looking just as angry as you feel, though he keeps his voice civil when he speaks “Listen, her old man’s just had a heart attack, could you drop the formal shit so she can see him?”

Her voice is sharp, just like her stupid fucking face and she snaps back “I can’t let you in unless I know your relation, unless you’d like to be escorted out by security”

Damn, she’s playing with fire and you’re ready to throw oil all fucking over her.

“I don’t fucking think so-” Pulling out your badge, you slam it against the desk, with nothing short of a growl “Police. Now, tell me where my fucking dad is or you’ll regret the next words that come out of your mouth”

You never abuse your power as a cop, it’s inhumane and back in your younger days you sneered at the disgusting police who would use their authority for their own gain, so you hate to admit but the nervous look that crosses her face when she sees your badge and Hank’s when he pulls it out for extra effect scratches an itch you begged to be scratched.

“Floor 3, the front desk will inform you what room”

“Thanks” You spit, already rushing to the elevator, the other two following.

Connor is quiet, to your surprise. Honestly, you expected him to speak out about your behaviour, your attitude, your unprofessionalism, but he says nothing, just trails after the two of you in silence, obediently, just like he was made for. 

It’s comforting having him here, even if he’s just following orders.

The next receptionist is kinder than the last (she even scowls at the mention of her coworker) and points down the hallway, to where two officers stand with cups of coffee within their hands. They stiffen in surprise at your arrival, but you pay them no mind, pushing your way into the room where you finally pause, taking in the scene of your beloved father figure, laid still within the bed, pale, heart monitor beeping occasionally. 

The doctor by Carl’s side looks up at you. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

Hank and Connor wait outside.

“(Name) (Last), Carl’s daughter and emergency contact” You explain, walking further into the room “Is he- Can I-”

“He’s fine” She explains with a comforting smile “And yes, you can come closer, though the medication has him knocked unconscious so he won’t be talking any time soon”

The relief almost has you collapsing, brings you back from the panic attack that threatens to kick your arse right in front of everyone and you finally breathe normally.

“Thank you, and you are?”

“Dr Collins” Collins offers her hand and you shake it weakly. “Your father is going to be okay, (Name), but he’s going to need a lot of rest. Cardiac arrest at this age can be fatal, so we were lucky that he lived so close”

You nod, tiredly slinking to Carl’s side to drop into the cushion chair, taking his hand in yours. Kissing it lovingly, you place it close to you in comfort, in reassurance.

‘He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s going to be okay-’

“What are you doing here?”

Your anger shoots right back up, as does you head when you turn to look at the doorway.

“Leo” The name is dragged out of your mouth, it’s spoken with a heavy coat of venom and dirt and for all the participants who are about to see this wild shit show, is a clear indication that you’re far from happy to see the man that stood there. “The fuck are you doing here?”

He scoffs “I’m family, what else am I here for?”

“Oh I don’t know,” You’re standing, stalking closer to him with a raged gleam in your eye “To mooch off him a little bit more?”

The tension can be cut with a knife, everyone can see it, feel it, even Connor, who looks ready to intervene at any given moment.

“No, detective” One of the officiers starts, cutting in in hopes to keep you both calm. “He was there when it all happened, he saw everything-”

“He was there?” No, her words only add fuel to the fire and you’re glaring at your brother once again “You were there? The fuck were you there for? You did this?”

“No!”

“Please calm down” Collins cuts in “I understand the anger but the other patients-”

You ignore her, glancing around the area when a thought struck you.

“Where’s Markus?”

Connor’s the first to respond, “Who’s Markus, detective (Last)?”

“Dad’s care bot” A pin drops, no one is speaking, the two cops are quiet, Leo is scowling, but he’s not looking at you and your anger is quickly making room to fear, cold and stabbing when you push again, harsher, angrier “Where the fuck is Markus?”

The second officer speaks this time, hat in his hands and you know what happens next is not going to be good.

“He was leaning over your father when we walked in detective, Mr Leo Manfred told us he attacked him” The man gulps, hesitating. He’s not nervous for what he’s done, no, he’s nervous about the dark look that seems to be slowly taking over your eyes, “I shot him”

A beat goes by. Then another, another, another, another, another-

“Why were you there in the first place?” It’s soft, curious, but the rage behind it is big, your need for an answer is keeping it back “What was the call for?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“Answer the question, officer”

His partner offers up the answer “....A break in, ma’am”

There’s silence, then you nod in understanding.

No one is quick enough to stop you from shoving Leo into the wall, hands wrapped tightly around the lapels of his jacket and holding him up so you can scream at him properly, face feeling hot from anger, eyes wild from rage, practically feral. 

“You fucking did this! This is your fault, you good for nothing fuck!” You pull your hand back and punch him right in the face, he’s too in shock to react but everyone else is trying to pull you off “What?! Were you off your shit from snorting that fucking powder again, you damn druggie!? Huh!? HUH!? You high right now, too!?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, (Name), let go!” Hank yells but he’s fucking impressed by your resistance.

“He could have died because of you, you good for nothing cunt! Worthless piece of shit! Now, Markus is fucking dead because of you, the person who was actually fucking taking care of him! This is all your fault! He’s in that hospital bed, because of you! You! Did! This! All for those stupid drugs! You’re fucking pathetic!”

You’re finally tugged off by someone, their arms slipping under your own to stop you from going back at him again. The officers are acting as a wall between you and your brother, Dr Collin’s is checking his nose as blood drips down his face, Leo is still in shock and Hank is leaning over, hands propped onto his knees. That leaves...

“I’m sorry detective (Last), but I’m going to have to restrain you until you calm down”

You scream in frustration and try to fight against it, but damn, you have to admit in a moment of clarity, Connor is fucking strong.

“Lieutenant Anderson, if you could take her legs, we can escort her out of the building without much trouble” Hank huffs something under his breath probably a grunt of ‘fucking android’ but complies, glaring at you when he leans down.

“You kick me and I’ll kick your ass”

Your respect for him makes you comply, but the anger doesn’t stop you from cussing both him and the android out, naming every threat under the sun as they carry you out of the building, back to the car which you are shoved placed into.

“Let me out of this fucking car, Hank!” You bellow, glaring at the man with sharp eyes who stood outside the vehicle, leaning against it “I’ll break this fucking window, I swear to fucking God!”

“You can try, but we both know you won’t!”

Once again, you’re screaming, tugging frantically at the door’s handle that you know is locked, but are way too angered to care right now.

Connor sits by your side, a good distance away to not antagonise you, silent, waiting and watching as you slowly fall from angry to desperate, tears welling within your eyes and falling down your cheeks. It only takes a few more moments for you to stop altogether, your shoulders shaking as you sob, quietly but strong.

The android finally speaks “Detective (Last)-”

You’re on him in a moment, arms wrapped around his frame, face buried into his shoulder, wetting his suit jacket as you cry, shaking.

It’s a new one for Connor. An android built for detective work, to sniff out the bad deviants, to question suspects and actually built with a comforting feature for victims of crimes. But this is a first, a first he’s seen anyone to tears, more importantly, a first of seeing you so broken. Sure, he had seen you defeated those few days ago, but this is different, you’re not trying to hide conflicting feelings behind your bubbly smile and weird jokes, you’re just...crying. Nothing more, nothing less.

His arms are hovering at your sides, hesitant, unsure and it’s not until Hank gestures from outside the car to ‘fucking do something, you stupid machine’ that the protocol finally kicks in, his arms coming to wrap around you securely and comforting, reassuring you through your whimpers.

Connor is a robot, a machine that feels nothing.

But seeing you cry isn’t something he can just let happen.

Software instability.

-----------

Tags: @dillxpixkles @1950schick @pinkittwice @iris-suoh @loveflowsthroughme @thatlonelyalto @starcatcher-kay​ (ya’ll I’m half asleep if I forgot you in the taglist I am SORRY-)

[itoldsunset]

rewatching ipytm episode 2: thoughts

apologies in advance for this very messy, very long bullet scene-by-scene commentary!

summary: this was a very hard episode to watch and rewatch. the frustration with teh is real, the hurt for oh-aew is real. but the fear of change and abandonment, and the fear of admitting your own insecurities, is SO coming of age and i love that we get to see teh grappling with what happens when the idealistic vision you had for your life slowly starts to crumble.

also, this episode (and possibly the entirety of part 2) was 100% the writers' and p'meen's love letter to comm arts students/graduates, and even though i am a total outsider to that world, it really touched my heart to see the diversity of experiences and struggles reflected here.

i love that we see how much closer teh has become with jai and khim!! this doesn't translate in the subs, but i thought it was interesting how teh used respectful pronouns with them when he was a first-year and now for the most part uses rude (familiar) pronouns with them as a second-year, even though they're still technically his seniors. i think it goes to show how close they've become since he first joined the drama club.

goy was so fucking CUTE in that scene when she said "oh, lots of boys are peeking at me, i'm shy" i think i'm in love 😭 also the cinematography of that scene!!

this episode does such a great job at making you feel uncomfortable along with the characters. i hated how uncomfortable teh was at the birthday party, and i could feel how out of place he felt there.

when mangpong talks about how easy it is for celebrities to make money and teh is clearly offended by that and speaks up against it (which results in yet another awkward uncomfortable moment), i feel like he's speaking up on behalf of khim who we later realize is basically his idol and the person he identifies the most with. i feel like p'meen and the writing team are really trying to represent the lives of people who go into communication arts, especially those who go in with an interest in performing arts. and for me that scene with mangpong communicates two things: 1) the defensiveness that comes with having your chosen career path misunderstood or reduced into something that's easy money, and 2) how close-knit and protective the drama club is of each other, because teh speaking up in defense of actors to me feels like he's defending this identity they all share as people who are struggling to make it in the industry.

oh-aew is SO sweet. getting a tattoo that resembles your partner's name gives me so much anxiety, but i guess he's 19 and has always been sure of his feelings so it does make sense for him. at first glance teh's reaction really just makes it sound like he's against tattoos, drinking, all that, like he's super old-fashioned, but it's not REALLY about the tattoo and we learn that later when they have their big fight and he blows up with all the nitpicky little things he's noticed about all the ways oh-aew has changed. i thought it was so cute how au basically showed off his tattoo to open the conversation for oh-aew to show teh his tattoo though. we love a supportive friend group!!!

"this tattoo is pretty. thank you." this is teh being as genuine as he can, as someone who is seriously not in touch with his own feelings and can't understand why he's so upset at oh-aew getting a tattoo. because again it's not the tattoo itself that's the problem, but what it represents for teh, which is oh-aew's world slowly expanding to include people and things that are foreign to teh, and he worries that one day that world won't have a place for him anymore.

drunk oh-aew speaking mandarin, and teh taking care of him!!! the only fluff we got all episode and i will cherish it forever and ever, like the aquarium scene from episode one. the fact that teh brought over the stuffed animal, kissed oh-aew on the forehead, and then decided to sleep over on the floor next to him? making him kimchi jjigae? so soft!! our boy has got a lot of issues to work through but he loves oh-aew for sure.

the scene where oh-aew is receiving feedback on his performance from his professor is so... oof. the fact that his classmate got positive feedback for portraying a gay man in a way that isn't stereotypical (read: masculine? i wonder?) and the fact that oh-aew was critiqued for unsuccessfully portraying the tone and mannerisms of a man who doesn't understand gay people? it's a bit subtler than what we hear from the casting director but i swear it's the same shit. and it really doesn't surprise me at all to see oh-aew not believe in himself and his ability to perform because of it.

teh saying "both of us" and being so excited about their casting opportunity!! 😭 and also, khim being such a sweetheart and helping them get this opportunity in the first place!

the contrast with how happy oh-aew looked when the advertising professor told him he had the right answer, compared to how torn down he looked after being critiqued and told he got a C by his acting professor (in front of the whole class!!). which tbh for me is subtle commentary on how much influence professors have on students' self-confidence and whether they believe in their own ability to succeed in their field.

the commentary on sexism and homophobia in the thai entertainment industry!! khim being told she looked too old, not smart enough, not believable, honestly all coded ways of saying she didn't fit in with the beauty standard they were going for. and while khim is saying this we see oh-aew is already getting nervous, because he's already had his confidence shaken by his experiences in class. and then when we get to the scene where the casting director says he's too girly and asks him to act more manly, we see oh-aew's mood shift completely, and honestly it hurts to watch. pp did such an amazing job here because i felt it, like the way oh-aew's eyes change, and then he swallows right after, and how unsettled he sounds trying to deliver the line again after hearing that critique.

oh-aew listening to khim tell teh about how hard it's been for her to break into the industry is so impactful, because you can already tell what he's thinking. is this really worth it? do i want this enough to endure people telling me over and over again i'm not masculine enough for them? is that going to be me in the future, being rejected from hundreds of castings and still not making it?

when teh hugs khim and says "we will get through this together," it's so clear that he identifies with her struggle. teh is someone who has worked his ass off to get to where he is (remember his fight with his mom where she said he lost sleep and was getting sick from all the studying he did?), and he sees himself in khim and her passion and ambition. meanwhile, we see oh-aew really doubting whether this is the right path for him.

i love how teh immediately asked if oh-aew was okay after oh-aew told him about what the casting director said, and how teh reassured him that he liked oh-aew the way he is. it's like, he so clearly cares for oh-aew and loves him so much and sometimes knows how to show it well, and then other times just fucks it up. it's so real??

oh-aew deciding to change majors three months into it is a very oh-aew thing to do, and what i mean by that is, this is a character who is super in touch with himself and his feelings and trusts in himself to make the right decisions. he's not afraid to change his mind (remember when he was testing out his feelings for bas and teh and then turned down bas once he knew?), he's bold and goes for what he wants. and i envy that about his character so much. but it makes me sad to know that the thing that was making him nervous during this scene was the fact that he was worried about how teh would react. like he went through all that questioning and critique himself, to finally discover his answer, only to now have to worry about whether his partner will accept him.

teh, on the other hand, has had his whole life planned out since forever. he feels the need to know and control everything. he has so much fear and insecurity. and he is stubborn and doesn't believe in giving up, which he believes is what oh-aew is doing. and on top of that, he sees this as another way in which he is losing oh-aew. one more thing oh-aew has in common with his friend group that doesn't include him. one more way that he's becoming a smaller part of oh-aew's world. oh-aew looked so small in the bathtub scene and i just wanted to hold him 😔

the 8 month time skip is a little jarring because of all the things we don't get to see, but i guess it makes sense if teh has been bottling up his insecurities about their relationship that it would all blow up in everyone's face in the way that it did at the dinner scene.

it was interesting to me how teh hesitated when oh-aew texted that he would join them for dinner, like teh didn't want oh-aew to come along with his drama club. and then once oh-aew arrives at the restaurant, we see that teh isn't totally happy either. it's like as much as teh feels like an outsider in oh-aew's world, he seems to also see oh-aew as an outsider in his own world too. and when top says he wanted to get into comm arts at anantasart but he didn't get in, we see teh's expression and it's like, a reminder that he gave up that spot for oh-aew, that teh didn't pass the admissions exam either, and that oh-aew who did pass has now "given up" on it (in teh's eyes) to pursue another major. it's like teh also feels betrayed on behalf of all the performing arts kids who are struggling to make their passion into a career.

i feel like i sort of get why teh said all that shit about oh-aew at the dinner table now. i'm not excusing it at all, that was super shitty of him. but i wonder if it's like, this is a thing they deal with in the performing arts, people giving up because it's so hard to make it in the industry. and you watch your friends leave one by one, and it keeps causing more and more doubt in yourself about whether you can make it. and now that teh sees oh-aew as someone who's given up, he doesn't want that energy at the dinner table with his drama friends, like he wants to protect them from that and keep up with this "we can get through this together" mentality that he keeps saying. so it's easier for him to try to dismiss it as oh-aew's personality flaw, rather than a legitimate change in career path, because he's worried about how it might affect his own friends in the drama club. and we see how protective teh is of khim, when he says "what the fuck did you just say?" like he really shares an identity with his drama club and it's clear he thinks oh-aew doesn't understand it or belong there.

needless to say, i was extremely stressed that entire dinner scene which i think means the writers, p'meen, and the actors did an excellent job.

their fight scene was really amazingly done and i am just stunned by teh's response when oh-aew asks him "what if this is who i really am, would you not like me anymore?" and teh thinks about it for a bit, and says "maybe." that's him being genuine, he's not trying to hurt oh-aew in saying that, and we can see him internally asking himself that question. but he doesn't know the answer, because he can't even be honest with himself about why he's upset at oh-aew. so he says the first thing he thinks which is an honest "maybe," and then he immediately regrets his words, and at some point he's going to have to learn that he can't just say the first thing that comes to mind, when other people's feelings are at stake. also, the fucking piano that plays? the violin? goddamn.

khim's character is really here to teach teh, and all of us, some life lessons. she is so real. her struggles are so real. life is fucking hard, and it's not fair, and no matter how hard you work or try you can't have it all. "the conditions for our lives are not the same" holy shit yes. she wants to take care of her family and her dog, she can't just think of herself. i feel like teh, who comes from a relatively modest background but has always had hoon as a father figure to support his mom, probably doesn't feel that same burden.

teh being frustrated and going to the bridge was beautiful. the crying hug scene at the dorm was so beautiful.

i love that in the end, teh finally owns up to his own insecurities and apologizes and admits he was wrong. of course, this was after oh-aew reached out to him first. i think it's totally realistic that we see his growth happening kind of slowly, but before the series ends he's going to need to be the first one to reach out, because oh-aew can't hold all of that on his own.

the last score when they hug under the moonlight, i love it!!

[jaminjims]

foreign bts 8th member {imagine}

anon request: Hi! I love your imagines!! Can I request a relationships with the members or life of a 16 year old foreign 8th member with ot7? headcanon or imagine (whichever you feel like) thank you!!!

a/n: thank you so so much for requesting bub! i loved writing this one (even though it is a little rushed) it made me think differently about some aspects of idol life, especially when looking at it from a foreigners point of view. but i really appreciate you anon, you will forever by remembered as my first requester so i really hope you enjoy this one love! ♡ 

pairing: platonic bts x foreign gender neutral!reader (i do have you refer to the older members as hyung though) 

genre: not gonna lie, this one is pretty angsty because it deals with my experiences of how the kpop community reacts to foreign idols/young idols (that being said, not everything will be completely accurate!) but don’t worry! there are still some fluffy moments (the members just love you so much and want to protect you from the world) 

warnings: bullying, loneliness, unhealthy coping mechanisms and destructive mentality 

words: 2.6k

[disclaimer: when writing idol aus, i will only be focusing on the struggles of the reader, not of the idols themselves because i don’t personally know what struggles they go through and how they handle them.] 

~**~

you were the youngest, and that really sucked sometimes 

like for the fact that the members practically hovered over you and made sure that you were doing your school work correctly and actually completing it rather than putting it in the garbage disposal (which might've happened before) but hey! all the other members were pretty much finished with their schooling so it wasn’t fair the you still had to do yours 

you have made that point multiple times only for the others to shut it down because you could basically make pockets with how full of holes that logic had

or when they fussed over you a little to much, “y/n, you’re not too stressed right?” “you’re sleeping enough right, maknae?” “here eat this, it’ll help you grow.”

you also found it hard in the beginning to really connect with anyone too. the drastic age difference between you and the others was intimidating and it didn’t help that you joined the group three years after they first debuted so everyone was pretty much like family and there you were, kinda just stuck in group that you felt like an outsider in 

not to mention that you painfully stood out from them because for god sake’s you weren’t even korean 

they didn’t know how to approach you either though. you were (still are) young and stubborn and had almost too much energy that you didn’t know what to do with 

and even putting the group problems aside, school was also very difficult for you

your parents abruptly moved you to korea when you were young because of an amazing job opportunity so you were thrust into a schooling society that wasn’t the best 

hell, you didn't even know korean the first two years you spent there 

you were just... different in so many ways and that’s hard on a growing child. some of your first memories were of children laughing and pushing you because you ‘looked weird’ and ‘couldn't speak.’ 

and you pretty much had to deal with that kind of treatment all throughout middle school and even a little bit of high school (even after you had learned korean) 

it was difficult for you to really be accepted by a society that would always see you as an outsider 

so you grew up a rebellious angsty teen who was hard to really connect to because you were just so used to deflecting others opinions of yourself 

and you just so happened to have a passion for dancing and singing (you were also pretty good at rapping) and that was enough to have bighit take a chance on this kid who was barely passing school 

despite what everyone said about training and all the complaints about it, you actually loved it 

you thrived in the type of environment where you had to constantly push yourself to be seen because you had always been pushed aside for how you looked and how you talked 

sure, you missed your parents a whole lot and being a preteen only magnified that feeling, but in this dance studio, in this recording studio, is where you could really stand out in the best way possible and make an impact 

you would show all the people that it was ok to be different, that you could still make it in a society that prioritized their beauty standards and had a set precedent for how you had to look 

you were going to be the one to break stereotypes and actually do something   

but it was because you were pushed so hard growing up, that you set ridiculously high standards for yourself and because of your mentality, if you didn’t reach those goals then you would practically hate and loathe yourself until you pushed yourself to do better 

you grew to have this close looped mentality that was ridiculously unhealthy, but as long as you could prove yourself and succeed, right?

it was that mentality that placed you on bts and when you got the announcement that holy shit, you were going to be the eighth member? you had cried for the first time since you started training

and even though it was a group that was already formed, you went in the confidence in yourself that you would make your group members proud

but that brought the age difference back into play. it had always been the older kids that had picked on you, and you were defensive at first 

it made you all the more motivated to seek their approval though, to make sure that they had no reason to see you as different from them, despite the way you looked and how old you were

and it was probably that fire in your eyes that drew them in

you were this little stubborn ball of energy that would concur anything in your path and still push yourself to do more 

it was oddly through school work (the dreaded work) and your age that brought you guys closer 

they could tell when you were struggling to get work done, and losing sleep over it. it would be the little things that gave it away, like you leaving your toothbrush out or you not putting up the clothes that were washed 

and they each saw themselves in you; burning determination, ready to go up against anything. refusing to ask for help even though you needed it 

so it started with namjoon

he would look in your school bag while on break in dance practice and write the answers to some of your school work on sticky notes and then put them back in your bag 

you would find them later on and frown but accept the help anyways because you really were struggling 

and then it would be jimin leaving you snacks in your room with encouraging notes and you would be lying if you said that didn’t help you through some tough times (you still have the notes today, but no one needed to know that)

and sometimes there were playlists that would just kind of show up on your phone that were made for relaxation and studying and something in you knew that it was yoongi’s doing 

and overtime, through the tiny gestures, they broke down your walls and you let them see a side of you that no one really ever got to see because of the circumstances that you grew up in 

but you were still stubborn, and refused to accept their help if they asked for it directly. which actually led to more fights than you would think

they would scold you for working yourself to hard and you would say “no, i need this exercise.” to which would lead to actual demands from them and refusals from you because its your goddamn mentality working at your confidence again 

right after you were officially announced as the eighth member, that’s probably when your personality shifted the most 

remember when i mentioned about how they fuss over you too much? this was the main reason why 

your looks. it always had to boil down to your looks and it was different when it was only school bullies making the taunting, but when your face was up for debate by the media, is when you got really fired up 

“bts adopts an outsider?” “it’s called k-pop for a reason, go back to your own country.” “is this seriously happening right now? i’m un-stanning.” “wth, y/n’s like, five. thats gross.”

it was these comments and articles that really got to you, but somewhere along the lines it wasn’t just you anymore, it was about your members and what they had already built for themselves  

you had let yourself start caring for them because they treated you like an equal and now you were only hurting them 

they noticed, when you started to spend more time at the gym and studio and they were informed that your grades dramatically dropped because you were so hyper focused on getting better that you were ignoring your own needs 

it was jungkook that finally said something to you after about two weeks of almost radio silence because goddammit he had actually gotten used to your presence and you couldn’t just leave because he would miss you to much 

they all would 

they thought that you would lash out at them when they confronted you about it, but what you did surprised them and you cried for the first time ever in any of their presences

because these people, your hyung’s, where suffering from the backlash that you created and you could see how it was affecting them and it seemed like all the trust and all the hard time spent trying to seek their approval was all flushed away now and you had worn yourself down so much that there was just a kid left who was scared 

so, so scared 

scared because you were different, scared because you had lost the people that you had grown to care for 

so when jungkook came into the practice room to see you leaning against the mirror with your head in your hands, he knew that something had changed 

and when he called out for you, you didn’t answer. this pattern repeated until he was left so worried that he started shaking you and he had to call the hyung’s

it was only when they opened the door and you made eye contact with hoseok that you started to tear up and then it was like the dam that was holding years worth of fear and hardships back just ... broke 

you clung to jungkook and just start sobbing and apologizing because all you wanted was to be seen and accepted but not at this high of a cost

and they were relieved. they had thought that you would close yourself off from them and shut them out, but it seemed like you were worried about that same thing as well 

jin and taehyung almost cried themselves and it took everything in hoseok to stop himself from draping you in a blanket and protecting you from the world because you were still so young and you didn’t deserve the hate you got. you were only sixteen and there was only so much one person could take 

you were small enough to get picked up and since you hadn’t been eating much, jungkook picked you up easily 

and you didn’t protest as he carried you out of the practice room and into the van that they usually shared

you were drained and tired and worn out and just overall exhausted because you never really showed any emotion except determination, if that could even count 

and even though you were all close enough that you shared meals and acted like siblings, you still surprised them everyday and showed a new part of yourself and they just found themselves growing more fond of you 

once you all piled into the van, jin driving with namjoon in the passenger seat, you looked up at jungkook, (you were still held against him, practically in his lap) and then looked back at the rest of them and what they heard almost made their heart stop, “i love you hyung’s” 

there was SO MUCH to unpack in that one statement when it came to you 

first of all, you had called them all hyung’s, which you hadn't done until now. always opting to add -ssi at the end of their names 

and maybe it was strange to be proud of that tile, but when it came to you, it showed that you really did trust them with anything and they knew how hard that was for you 

then you said ‘i love you.’ it still didn’t really process in their heads until they had gotten you to your bed (you had fallen asleep during the car ride back) and they were all sitting around in the living room 

“you guys heard that too, right?” hoseok murmured 

then slowly yoongi smiled that gummy smile of his and everyone’s face’s did the same because you really had become special to them, even if you did come in late to the group 

and oh if that didn’t trigger their protective side

they saw it as their personal mission to out you back together and build yourself up again because you were worth it and you did deserve to be here 

they started with getting rid of electronics, well at least for you 

they were going to try to separate you from the media for as long as they could because people were ruthless 

they also made a point to start posting more solo videos of you on their youtube channel, so the audience would actually be able to see past your ‘foreign’ face and look at your real personality (they even started posting things without the companies approval but would never tell you that because you were already rebellious enough) 

and their planned kinda worked, too 

and even if you still weren't accepted by many, more and more of the fandom was accepting you everyday and that meant something

at least one of them would be with you at all times (which actually kinda got on your nerves sometimes but you knew they were trying to help and you wanted to change, to grow, to make it easier on them) 

taehyung started giving you more and more of his clothes (which you loved sleeping in) and started to use you as his cuddle buddy more times than not because you were the “precious maknae that should be protected at all costs.” “but do i really need to be your body pillow, hyung? at this rate i think your the one who will kill me and then i’ll need protection from you.” “yah, go to sleep.” he would flick your forehead and then you would mutter ow under your breath but go to sleep anyway because you were actually pretty comfortable 

or when seokjin would call you into the kitchen just to try his food and you would groan at having to get up from where you were but in reality you actually looked forward to it because he really was so good at cooking 

and so it becomes kind of like a routine for everyone and they all take care of you in their own way and your quick to try and help them back, even if comes of across as a little weird and distant

like when you would always bring extra water bottles to rehearsal because you know hobi will dance the hardest and you would get worried that he might become dehydrated 

or every other night you would bring water to jimin with a honey cough drop because those are his favorite and it helps to sooth his throat after a long day of training

you also make an effort to contribute to the songs. so you start tagging along with namjoon and yoongi when they go off to their studios because you are also interested in producing and you would like to learn someday and they are all to eager to show you how 

and you actually make an effort to ask for help when you need it (which is kinda big for you) and jungkook is the one who helps more than not 

they didn’t give you time to build your walls back up again and even though you often slip back into the mindset that you consonantly need to work for approval, they are there to tell you that you don’t need to do that because you already make them proud and that you already do work enough 

you are enough. they see you and believe in you 

and really, that’s all you needed, but it was a relief when you started to be widely accepted by the fans 

but you’re here, you were enough 

and although its not always good all time, and at times when you don’t feel like you belong, your hyung’s remind you that they are your family, and that no matter your face or where you come from, you will always belong with them 

[end]

end note: holy cow, this was just a mess of emotions and i think i might have some sort of trauma i don’t know about because sad who?? apparently i know her very well. but i’m really happy with the ending even though everything in between is messy! anon if you’re reading this, thank you so much for this kind of prompt! it really got me to think differently and put me in a position where i had to really delve deep into negative and positive mental patterns and how its impacted based on how a person grows up 

also I REALLY LOOKED UP IF JIN HAD A LICENSE AT THREE AM IN THE MORNING JUST TO WRITE THREE WORDS ABOUT IT and i just?? find that really funny for some reason?? i don’t know man, i need to get more sleep, so i apologize for any errors. i love ya’ll 

~**~ masterlist 

request something! 

taglist: @boba-tea1206​ 

[hello-yue-here]

Yuetara, zukka, and maiko

yuetara

ship

1) its not one of my main ships. i dont rlly read fanfic for them but if i see a cute fanart of them ill enjoy it and i think i first started shipping it because of good fanarts for them.

2) i like yuetara because of how similar they are. theyre both women from the water tribe. they both understand the misogyny that they have faced. and they both said f sexism im gonna be a strong woman. i also love the tui and la parallel. moon spirit and ocean spirit parallel COME ON. YUE IS THE MOON. KATARA IS THE MOST POWERFUL WATERBENDER. THEY ARE THE OCEAN AND THE MOON. the push and pull they could give eachother. that dynamic ftw.

3) i guess if i didnt like something about this ship would be the fact that if i read a fic or see a fanart w yuetara then than means in that particular au i wont get any yuekka and yuekka is probably my second favorite ship. but then again if i get yuetara than i could get a plethora of other sokka ships to go with it so my sadness disappears in like two seconds. gosh shipping is hard sometimes until you remember ‘hey i have like fifty different universes in my head. all ur ships can coexist in ur brain olivia’ other than that i really see no downsides to this ship. maybe i wish it had more content. maybe if it had more content id ship it a lot more but its not one of the more popular ships so the content is kinda few n far between on my feed.

zukka:

SHIPPP

1) my boys. my babies. my loves. i watched this show for the first time when it came out on netflix and when it ended i really didnt ship anything other than kataang. i came onto tumblr to find fun atla content and one of the very first things i saw under the atla tag was zukka content. i was like oh? whats this? zukka? interesting... i was intrigued so i found a list of fic recs and i fell in love with the ship. the rest is history. its probably my number one ship because it was my very first ship here and im nostalgic

2) oh boy there is so much i like about this ship. i relate to a shit ton of characters in atla. but sokka and zuko may be the ones i relate to most. i relate to sokka because i tend to feel second best a lot to my friends. i try to stay positive but things rarely go the way i plan or hope for them too and while im happy for my friends and their achievements i oftentimes find myself thinking why cant that be me? and i see this a lot in sokka especially in sokkas master. i dont feel special a lot and idk seeing sokka feel the same way and then realizing he is special kinda helped me realize that im special too. on the flipside i relate to zuko because i have wild anger issues and difficulty dealing w my emotions a lot as well. i get broody and short tempered and insecure very often and i tend to push people away and i refuse to ask for help (the amount of teachers and adults and therapists who have told me its okay to ask for help ur not any weaker because of it is astounding. do i listen to them? .....im working on it.) and i saw a shit ton of this in zuko. book one and two zuko rarely asks for help as seen in the blue spirit and zuko alone and he pushes away uncle so many times and even when the gaang iffers to help him in i think its the chase he tells them to leave. when he finally has his redemption and joins the gaang and lets them kinda become a better person i was so happy. i want that for myself yk. seeing him finally win the agni kai and overcome his family that always told him he was nothing was such a win. my sister and i get along but when we were children we were very much like zuko and azula. it was extremely competitive all the time and there was so much toxicity and sibling drama to a concerning extent. we get along great now which im very happy about but yeah their sibling relationship hit a lil too on the nose for me. seeing as i relate to these character so much and want them ti be happy i want to live vicariously through them so seeing them together is amazing for me to project into them. i love projecting onto fictional characters and with them i can project onto BOTH so its a winwin. plus so many zukka fics are so well written and heartwarming and heartbreaking and emotional and fluffy anf UGH the talent here us astounding.

3) what do i not like about the ship? again the list is long. oops. mainly the toxic shippers. there are so many toxic zukka stans that sometimes make it hard for me to enjoy this ship but hey! thats what the block button is for:) i despise how often people infantilize zuko and completely ruin his character for the sake of making him a soft weak lil boy who needs protecting. thats just not zuko for me. and ive seen many many accounts even state that this kind of portrayal of zuko is rooted in racist stereotypes about asian men (now i am white so i personally have never experiences racism but i feel the need to bring that up because it is wrong and attention needs to be brought to it because a lot of poc fans have criticised this) and the same for sokka. some ppl rlly skew his character and make him a big strong brute and hypermasculine and once again poc fans have said that this take is rooted in racist stereotypes. again! these are just my opinions! this is my favorite ship! but i think its important to acknowledge some of the bad parts of our ships as well and be critical where criticism is needed :))

maiko

ship

1) I LOVE MAIKO. “i dont hate you” “i dont hate you too” BRUH. my little heart just burst into flames. im sorry guys but maiko is so cute. they hate everything except eachother. BRUH that is one of the cutest tropes. i shipped them the moment i saw them together onscreen and i was so happy when zukos face lit up in the finale when mai came back.

2) “i hate everything but i have a soft spot for you” TAKE MY MONEY I AM A SUCKER FOR THIS. they are so cute together. like zuko is rarely happy in a majority of atla but mai makes him happy and i- 🥺🥺 HE DESERVES IT. and mai is always so supportive of him. when hes stressing out about the war meeting she tries her best to comfort him. and zuko cares about her too. he may not be the best at showing it but oh my god hes TRYING HIS BEST. i think its a very accurate portrayal of teenage relationships because they arent perfect and they do fight but like,, every teenage relationship does that. and even after everything and how he left her in the fire nation she still had his back at boiling rock. she still risked her life against azula to save his butt.

3) the thing i hate about maiko isnt even about maiko. its about antis who think mai is toxic and that zuko deserves better. that has got to be the worst take ive ever heard. they had a fight in ember island. that is NORMAL. they are teenagers. they are not perfect. but underneath all the rough edges and things they need to work out they still care about eachother so freaking much. i genuinelt believe that neither of them would do anything to intentionally hurt the other and i think thats what matters the most. if anything mai is the best girlfriend in the entire world because zuko fucked up like,, quite a few times. he got rlly jealous and dumped her thru a letter and ppl always say that mai was toxic for being mad at him for those two things. umm she had every right to be mad at him for both of those. and while zuko is allowed to feel his emotions and be angry sometimes as well sometimes he needs to think things thru and realize that hey maybe some if this jealousy is unfounded. BUT EVEN THEN. HE RESPECTED HER FEELINGS AND DIDNT TOUCH HER WHEN SHE SAID DONT TOUCH ME. HE RESPECTED HER. so i hate toxic maiko takes because they are literally so wrong in my opinion.

again all of these are just my opinions!! feel free to agree or disagree but please be respectful!! i will respect whatever u think as well because this is all just for fun :)

[cashewally-sarcastic]

It is hku’s 6th month anniversary, and it’s been a growing theme (tradition?) that I tend to write essays for said occasion, most of them being jokes. But instead, today I present a different kind of essay, one that isn’t written as a joke for once. This is an essay focusing on the grey morality of hku, and focuses on Siv as the example of said grey morality. Because of this, I do have to warn that there are major story spoilers ahead, so if you haven’t read hku or aren’t caught up to current events, I would recommend not reading this! This essay isn’t going anywhere, and spoiling yourself isn’t a very fun experience!

With that disclaimer out of the way, the essay (as per usual) is under the cut! Enjoy!

~~~

The Grey Morality of HKU

We live in a world that is not purely black and white, but instead many different shades of grey. Writing greyness into stories is difficult, especially when trying to create morally ambiguous characters, which is why most character conflicts in fiction is black and white. Moral greyness in characters is a very thin tightrope to balance on, since such characters fall in between heroes and villains, and bring layers of depth and complexity into the world. Most humans are not purely good or evil, and morally grey characters showcase this well. These characters can be incredibly complicated, and thus, it's difficult for authors to commit and stay on their tightrope. Sometimes they lean too far to one side and their intended moral greyness gets destroyed. But in Hyrule Kingdom Updates, or HKU, Quill not only walks this tightrope with ease, but does backflips on it and performs a whole circus act with their characters mimicking the same routine. One of these talented tightrope-walkers that performs in such a circus act is Asivus Hartell, better known as Siv. 

Siv is one of the main examples of the grey morality of HKU. He’s the sarcastic, pessimistic orator that serves as the role of the narrator for the story.  Introduced as a psychological egoist, or someone who believes that everyone’s actions are derived out of personal interest, his personality, attitude, and actions all reek of the scent of “villain”. He’s cynical, hates almost everyone in the castle, and is also a criminal. Over time, his egoist beliefs are slowly challenged, and when his ties to the people who challenge his egoist morals are cut, his egoism goes even further downhill, leading him to become a utilitarian existentialist.

Utilitarian existentialism is hard to properly define, as there is no clear-cut definition. It is the combination of two different philosophies, utilitarianism and existentialism. Utilitarianism is the belief that actions are right if they are useful or for the benefit of a majority; if it provides the greatest amount of good for the greatest number of people, it’s the right thing to do. Existentialism is the belief that there are no set morals for life and no specific meaning to life— people are free to create their own meaning and define their own existence. Utilitarian existentialism is the combination of these two beliefs, and Siv falling into this moral belief can lead to its own opportunities, both for the plot and for himself.

Siv, by the dictionary definition, is a villain. One of the core beliefs he holds, mostly thanks to his egoism, is that everyone is a terrible, selfish person except for him and Ganon. This is not only harmful to the rest of the population because of the possibility of the Calamity being revived, but it’s harmful to Siv as well. Thinking everyone is bad except for the entity that’s weaponizing your malice, or manipulating your trauma, is not the most healthy thing. In addition, as the readers, we can see things from multiple perspectives, and therefore know that not everyone is a terrible or selfish person. By seeing these multiple perspectives and knowing these things, we root against Siv and his goal of resurrecting the Calamity, for his view of the world and the people in it is flawed. Siv succeeding in his objective wouldn’t be good for anyone, including himself. If this was Siv’s only belief, it would be more of a clear-cut black and white story, and Siv would just be a villain. However, that is not the case.

The other core belief Siv believes is one that Astor leads him to: Getting rid of all the terrible, selfish people in the world is the morally correct thing to do, as the kingdom would be a better place and he’d finally be happy. “Defeating the evil in the kingdom will make everything end up good” is a mindset that many stereotypical heroes share. This is the belief in the stories of many people’s childhoods, and people root for them because it’s usually correct in the context of said story. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with Siv’s belief; he does have a point and does deserve to be happy. Furthermore, most of the problem causers in Hyrule would be gone, preventing all the hurt and trauma all the characters have to cope with from happening again. For example, getting rid of Ligero is something the entire reader-base has been cheering for since the old man was first introduced. It would be satisfying to see people such as those face consequences for their actions, and as readers, we like satisfying endings. Unfortunately, the problem is that Siv believes everyone is bad except him and Ganon, so he’d be getting rid of everyone, and effectively resurrecting the Calamity, something that devastated the kingdom and brought a massive amount of death, in the process. Taking that into account, you wouldn’t want Siv to succeed. And as a bonus, killing anyone and everyone he could possibly care about in any capacity would not be good for his already crumbling mental state. All of this creates a mental tug-of-war  in the reader’s head, because they're rooting for Siv to succeed but also hoping that Siv will fail. Is he in the right? No, because not everyone is a bad person and killing everyone by raising the Calamity isn't ever the right thing to do. But is he in the wrong? Also no, because utilitarianism isn't inherently bad, neither is existentialism, and the moral principle itself can have good intentions. Quill writes Siv to be a very complex character with no absolute right or wrong mentality. There’s no surface answer to if Siv is correct in his thinking or not, as this moral greyness goes a lot deeper than the surface level you see within the dialogue.

Siv walks upon the same morally grey tightrope that we, the readers, fight ourselves over within our own mental game of tug-of-war. His moral ambiguity is a huge part of his characterization, as well as a major highlight on the plot of HKU as a whole. The picture Quill painted is not only in multiple shades of grey, but also full of color and life. And out of all the shades of grey Quill used in their masterpiece, one of the most interesting shades is Siv. Quill did an excellent job at exploring this moral greyness and it shows well; you can truly see the care that they put into Siv as a character through how he affects the world around him. The kingdom of Hyrule is not made of black and white, but instead, is painted in multiple shades of grey that reflect our own world within itself, since nothing is as simple as it seems. 

~~~

Want to read more about Siv’s morals? Quill wrote an in-depth explanation themselves, and does a much better job of explaining it than I do, so I recommend reading it if that peaks your interest! Click HERE to be sent to that post! (also major spoilers, so be warned)

~~~

Now, since you got to the bottom of this post, and because I might be a little too polite, I need to give some thank-yous to a handful of people.

The first thank-you is to Rev (@swordlesbianss) for giving me the push I needed to actually write this thing! You pretty much kept me accountable for getting this done by mentioning your essay (which I look forward to reading when it’s ready, take your time), so thank you, Rev! You definitely got me to actually start writing the original version of this essay, and caused me to write it to where it is now!

The second thank-you is to Aura (@auroraborealis1890) who beta read the first draft of this essay! You made sure it wasn’t completely incomprehensible, thank you so much Aura! By being able to read it at all, you were a huge help to what was essentially a crazy person’s ramblings. You’re a great friend and I’m very grateful you read my first draft of bullshit <3

The third thank-you is a huge one to Bunny (@bunnywabbit229) who polished up this essay! All of the tone, spell checks, and really beautiful analogies were proofread by Bunny, some invented by them! They took a good 5+ hours out of their day and made this little rock of an essay become the shining diamond it is! I could point out so many things that they made better, but I don’t want to gush for too long. Bunny, I know I already told you this but if I could buy you a large brownie pizza, I would because you helped so much and I appreciate it so much!

The final thank-you is to Quill, the author of @hyrule-kingdom-updates, who made the inspiration for this essay. You have made such a wonderful story that’s rich with so many amazing characters and astounding worldbuilding. You made a masterpiece that inspired an essay of over 1000 words and I’m in awe. You truly deserve to know how wonderful your writing is and all the effort you’ve put into your characters and story is not going unnoticed. So thank you so much for putting your story out into the world, Quill.

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.

[thefutureduchessmarie]

My thoughts on Buck Begins (and why it was such a letdown to me)

There was a lot to love about this episode (particularly the background it provided on Buck and Maddie), but ultimately it failed to live up to the expectation for me. Here’s why: FOCUSING ON BUCK/MADDIE INSTEAD OF BUCK/CHOSEN FAMILY

So far the season did a great job in showing exactly how and why Buck grew up with so many abandonment issues and feeling like he wasn’t enough. But the issues didn’t come from Maddie. Sure, he was hurt when she moved away, but that had already been mostly dealt with. And of course discovering she lied to him his whole life was hard, but I feel like given their current relationship Buck would always forgive her for that, he just needed time to process it. What I really needed from this episode was for Buck to realize/accept that he’d already found the family he’s been looking for his whole life. 

The idea that he 118 are each other’s chosen family is one of the central themes of the show, and I needed that energy now, more than ever. All I wanted was to see them doing everything they could to save Buck, not because it’s their job, but because they love him. And they did - each one of them walked into that building, knowing they could very well die. We just didn’t get to see that because the show failed to realize that should have been the climax all along. 

Was there seriously no one who could tell him that he doesn’t have to save every single person on the planet in order to be worthy? That he’s enough on his own? Because that’s the reason why he keeps putting himself in life-threatening situations to begin with. And instead of helping him realize that, they praised him for it and told him that’s why they love him so much, reinforcing his belief that he needs to be out there saving people in order to earn the right to be loved.

BOBBY 

The father/son relationship between him and Buck has been an important part of the show since season 1. So when it was revealed that Buck Begins would address Buck’s complicated relationship with his parents and culminate with him being stuck in a fire - a situation that mimics the way Bobby’s children died, it felt like everything was lining up for this dynamic to be the heart of the episode. It seemed to offer the perfect opportunity for both of them to make peace with their past (Bobby couldn’t save his children, but he could save Buck; and Buck could get closure from his parents and fully accept Bobby as the only parents figure he needs in his life). The crossover only seemed to confirm that. 

By ignoring that, and not showing any special focus on Bobby, they didn’t just waste the opportunity to tell a beautiful and meaningful story. They completely disrespected Bobby as a character. Because you look me in the eye, and tell me that seeing someone he recognizes as a his kid, someone he loves and feels responsible for stuck in a building on fire wouldn’t be triggering as fuck to Captain Nash! The show can’t just ignore the single most traumatizing event of his life simply because they don’t know how to address more than one relationship (Buck/Maddie) in one episode.   

EDDIE 

If there’s one thing I hate in television, it’s fan service. Its always painfully obvious when a show is doing something not because they believe in it,  but because the fans want it. However, right now 911 is doing a sort of anti-fan-service that is just as terrible. Basically, they created a “Buddie monster” that doesn’t seem to have been planned and now they have no idea how to handle it. It was so clear that they were going out of their way to avoid any Buddie moments in this episode, that they ended up throwing Eddie’s characterization and the beautiful friendship they wrote for him and Buck out of the window. 

The Eddie I’ve been seeing for 3 seasons now would be the first to rush into that building after Buck, even before he got any confirmation or authorization from anyone. Instead, they turned him into this ice cold person right when Buck was feeling so unloved and abandoned. They don’t want to make Buddie as a couple? Fine. I can live with that. But please don’t disrespect the amazing friendship that has been canonically written. If they don’t think they can show us Eddie caring and worrying about his best friend without making it romantic, then it means they’re not doing they’re job well.

They also inadvertently created a power imbalance between those two that literally no one asked for. Because now, if you compare how each of them reacted to the other being stuck in a life risking situation, it comes across as Buck caring way more than Eddie. Which I don’t think it’s true, but alas…. Its there now, and it reinforces Buck’s feelings of never being enough. 

(And yes, I’m already taking into account their different personalities. I never expected Eddie to panic in the way Buck did in Eddie Begins. But I was expecting him to freak out in his own Eddie way, which he didnt. At all. Despite the show repeatedly showing us how important Buck is in his life and how much he unravels without him)

The cheap queer baiting (“I feel like he’s working his way through the village people”? They were purposely showing past-Buck in queer stereotypes and they know it. And Im really getting tired of them not putting their money where their mouth is) v them going out of their way to make sure there were no meaningful interactions between Buck and the man people ship him with 

PLAIN-ASS INCONSISTENCIES OR WEAK TV :/

First thing Bobby told them when they got to the scene was that they couldn’t separate from the team. They’re all trained professionals, fully aware of how risky the situation was. They’re also aware that Buck is the most reckless member of the team on a normal day, and that day he was dealing with some particularly difficult shit. So why the hell did no one stop him when he tried to separate from the team? If you wanna convince yourself the 118 suck and don’t love Buck, fine, but I know its not true. So Hen and Chim letting Buck go just feels out of character to me. Something the writers did, not because it made sense, but because they needed to have him alone and couldn’t come up with a better plan.

Now compare that to Eddie Begins, for example, a Begin episode that followed a very similar structure. Eddie being stuck didn’t feel forced, because the situation was properly explained and contextualized.  Everything made perfect sense given their line of work, the team dynamics and protocol. It felt like the natural consequences of a very risky job. It also made sense that Eddie Begins focused so much on Eddie/Christopher and climaxed with him fighting like hell to return to his son, because that’s Eddie’s struggle - feeling like he failed as a parent.

Buck’s struggle is feeling like he was always the one left behind. The one people didn’t love enough, because he it made it hard to. So by not focusing on his relationship with his chosen family, all we’re left with is “Buck and Maddie against the world”. Which is not where any of those characters deserve to be and ignores all the progress that has been made for 4 seasons. 

By focusing so much on this one relationship, they also turned this into “Buck and Maddie Begins”, instead of Buck Begins. THEY COULDN’T EVEN FOCUS ON BUCK IN HIS OWN EPISODE. Tell me how is this supposed to help resolve his insecurities?  

I did love all the flashbacks and the moments between the siblings tho. And I cried reals tears when Maddie pulled out her own version of Buck’s box. I guess I’ll just have to rely on fanfiction and headcanons to fill all the voids mentioned above 

[avalonmoonshinesstuff]

Sirius or Remus?

Dear Noony,

I have no context (and way too many ask games to check which one this is about) so I'll make this a long-ass post because I just have ✨ thoughts ✨ on these characters.

The topics are:

Who do I ship more with Severus.

Who do I see becoming friends with Severus.

Which character do I prefer more.

Who would win in a fight.

Who would I choose for myself.

Who would I write in my next fanfic.

Who do I see myself getting along with.

Whose counterpart is cooler.

Conclusion.

Who do I ship more with Severus: Now, although I like a good Snupin (love it when Moony recognizes Severus as it's mate), it's Snack/Snirius that steals my heart. It just has that perfect level of angst, enemies to lovers, and love angles (not triangles, I usually dislike them, thanks). Hate sex is amazing too, and the fiction is beautiful. And the weird tingling that the fighting seems like flirting in the back of their minds. And when they're both mutually pining but they think that it's unrequited. And more.

Also, yes, Remus may be more wholesome and might give Sev some therapy (after he gets some himself, of course) but I can't ship a relationship that may have a NPC that's being too giving and a replacement for therapy. Trust me, Remus would drop Sev because of how much he hates himself not being there for him as therapy.

Who do I see becoming friends with Severus: Remus, tbh, even though I'd like to say Sirius. Sirius has an irrational dislike for Severus from the start, while I think Remus just went along with his friends. He's the flow in the moment kind of person (I'm pretty sure he's a February Pisces) and they are kind of NPC characters or they believe they are. Obviously, Remus has to stop having NPC syndrome for him to actually move on from his prejudice against Severus and SEVERELY beg for forgiveness if he wants to be on friendly terms with Severus. Severus (in my opinion) has the capacity to forgive people with time and convincing (as I imagine is the case with McGonagall, who used to favor her Marauders). And Remus has the capacity to work really hard for a goal (as we see when he is spying in the Werewolf camp), to the point that people start questioning his loyalty.

When we see Remus go back to his pregnant wife (I hope he did, I can't remember)... We know that Remus can get over all this and try, at the very least, to be Severus' friend.

Which character do I prefer more: I'd love to say that I prefer none of these because I usually do but... I like Sirius more than Remus (not that I hate Remus). As a Pisces Rising, I get that Remus wanted friends and that he had a serious hindrance stopping him, but the fact that even after everyone is dead and gone... He doesn't reevaluate what he thought of Severus really shows. His behavior towards him, his first lesson, the way he minimized what James and Sirius did even after so long really shows that Remus is very comfortable and in love with the position he is in. I get that its easy to not think critically, but Remus was in a position to bring change. You see, after the job was gone, and Harry came to him asking about James' bullying... Remus should have really taken the chance to talk positively about a fellow order member that Harry would be trusting his life onto (if not for Severus, for Harry's mental health because he was trusting Sev with his life). When I realized that Remus was a Pisces, I felt very offended because I would never not use the power I had for some good (he was prefect) and I couldn't imagine life being as passive and unchanged as Remus was. I guess, in the end, I kinda dislike him for personal reasons... I mean, did this fictional character have to be a Pisces??

No shade on Sirius, I actually do like him, and it's not completely based on how much I kind of dislike Remus. Remus is a gray character and Sirius is the kind of gray that's closer to black. But I love him for it because he didn't have any leadership roles (except as Harry's godfather) that he completely fucked up. Sirius does show change, minimal though it is, he really does. As a teen, he believed in complete evil and complete good. He desperately tried to be completely good, who was James ig. He did become mini James but as an adult, he kind of realizes that James isn't completely good. Obviously, his hate towards Severus is still there; he's still the bully. However, I do think that his redemption from that role was set up when he says that line "the world isn't divided into good people and death eaters". I think (?) this is said around Regulus' sacrifice was found so it was mostly applying to Regulus and not Severus for Sirius. But, in my opinion, Regulus is the appetizer for Severus' redemption. And! Sirius told Harry that he never thought Severus could actually become a death eater, so this feeling multiplies. I see amazing Snirius happening Post war (whether they survive or not doesn't matter, they can get together in the afterlife for all I care). Sirius being the elder brother, having all responsibility on his head, and him breaking through them is really cool (although he didn't break away from two stereotypes: crazy and dark/dark gray). Him never feeling remorse is scary af but brief moments before his death, I did see some spark of redemption there. Above that, more than 10 years of isolation and prison does drive people mad, okay? This man needs some serious therapy (I think I also project some of my BPD onto him).

So, in the end, I like Severus only (I almost never need to project onto him because he's that good) and barely tolerate the others 😅.

Who would win in a fight: My man Remus, plz, he'd win anyday. He did, against Sirius, in canon (POA).

Who would I choose for myself?: Neither for sex, Sirius as my slave coz he'd hate it. (He's fictional) I have a gf so I'm happy everywhere else. All I want is a good slave 🤣. Also, dogs are cool, lol.

Who would I write in my next fanfic?: I have two planned already, but I think I want to write some Severus x male!Reader with background Severus x Remus (onesided, atm).

Who do I see myself getting along with: Neither, really, because I would think that Sirius is too much and Remus too NPC. I do think that I'd be acquainted with Remus because we love libraries and chocolate but our interests would vastly differ and I think it's weird trying to talk to someone new when in a library.

Whose counterpart is cooler: I was going to go with Remus, and I'm still going to go with Renus. I do see the potential in Sirius (change at your will) but from a medical perspective, and muggle too, Remus is way cooler. Potion-making barely (if ever) needs magic and that's what the muggles have. Becoming a Lycanthrope doesn't require a magical core (as far as I'm concerned). Lycanthropy is the kind of magic that muggles are familiar with, a moon-blessed-craziness (it's well documented). If muggles research, they can find a way to make transformations completely painless etc. Muggles can be Lycanthropes but not Animagi so Remus is definitely cooler.

Conclusion: Wow, that was long! Okay, in the end, I think they were both complex characters who each had their redeemable qualities. Gray af, too, as most of HP characters are. Too bad, I only like Sev and those who I think matches well with him (he is the bar and if anyone is beneficial to him, only then will I like them).

It's the mentally ill character for me!! Sirius wins!!

Thanks so much for asking and if I didn't cover any part, feel free to ask some more!! Or even if you want more elaborations 😌

[cherriesink]

Yatsufusa Yuki - Murmurs

Murmurs are snippets of character reflection earned by increasing Explore Points during Exploration. They usually include 6-7 monologues about other characters and 3-4 monologues about things important to the specific character.

These lines are taken straight from the English translation of the game, so fair warning of bad grammar.

About Kurusu “Kurusu is not a typical vampire. He is the strongest vampire in Japan but doesn’t fit the stereotype at all. My instincts will warn me that he’s dangerous- but when I talk to him, I find myself at ease.

I’ve been thinking about the emotions I get when interacting with him. And came to the conclusion that it’s a feeling where my instinct and rationality fighting against each other. My instinct as a vampire fears him, but my rationality as a human feels safe with Kurusu... After all, the strange feeling I get with him is probably from my inner conflict of being both a vampire and human. 

I heard that Kurusu is really strong when he’s serious, but I’ve never seen him be like that. So that’s also probably why I feel how I feel around him.

But regardless of human or vampire, I bet the most threatening type are people like Kurusu too.

...Let’s not get on the wrong side with him.”

About Maeda “I wonder if Colonel Maeda is really a human. I mean, I know he’s not a vampire... but he looks like another kind of a monster to me. His sadistic personality is more horrifying than a vampire, and not to mention that his glares give me the chills. 

I wonder how he was raised... I was brought up in a military family, but I don’t think his is related to his profession.

...Come to think of it, Code Zero is a group of vampires being regulated by a human. It’s amazing when you really think about it... I’ve seen their battle a couple of times, but he moves quicker than an unranked vampire. I wonder if warriors in the Sengoku period were like that too...”

About Yamagami “Yamagami makes me feel at ease. He just does.

...Sometimes, I think that maybe Yamagami is the strongest vampire. When one becomes a vampire, their humanness slowly dies out. First of all, one cannot build a family by marrying the person they love because of the eternal life that we have. One can only drink blood. One can only live in the dark...

We’re baffled by it at first but soon learn to adjust. And after 100 or 200 years, the elements that made us human will completely disappear. 

But Yamagami is always himself. He’s always this middle-aged “uncle” type of a guy. Always nagging and short-tempered, yet soft-hearted... easily scared, and needs company. He holds many weaknesses just like a typical person. You can also say that he has less weaknesses as a vampire. 

The weaknesses of a vampire... Our hearts do not adhere to our immortal body. But I think Yamagami will always be Yamagami even 100 years from now.”

About Takeuchi “I was quite confused at first, but I heavily rely on this umbrella that Takeuchi gave me. Not only is it useful as a weapon, but it protects me from the sun when I completely lost track of time. I can hide myself from the sunlight for a short second. 

...I can be careless, so I don’t know how many times I almost fried myself with the daylight. My body became superhuman-like after turning into a vampire but my personality is still the same as before...

Takeuchi is an amazing scientist but I think he goes overboard sometimes... He even added a toothbrush and a nail clipper when he improved the umbrella for me the other day. Just the skunk gas and Blood Candy is enough... Do vampires need those tools anyway? 

And this Takeuchi logo. Sometimes I feel people staring at me, probably because the sunscreen sold in the department stores have the same logo as my umbrella...”

About Suwa “Suwa has been around since the Azuchi-Momoyama period. I remember Takeuchi saying that one must be clever on top of being strong if a vampire wants to live for over 300 years. And not many of us are alive for that long. Because most people die from the poison when being bitten by a vampire. 

Even if they lucked out and became a vampire, they don’t know that vampires cannot be under the sunlight so they die before they know it. It must be rough having to learn your way through to live as a vampire... So now that I look back, I was very lucky.

Suwa, Defrott, and I have one thing and one thing only in common. We all love plays.

...Then, does that mean that I’m going to live for another 100 to 200 years? Or will my heart give out midway and self-destruct...?”

About Shinnosuke “Shinnosuke is not much older than me but he is very responsible. 

...No, more like a fine adult. According to Ishikawa, Shinnosuke isn’t a pure Japanese. So he was bullied when he was a child for having a different hair color... And the ones who protected him at the time were vampires.

He must’ve welcomed me like a family when we first met because of his past experiences in life. He probably understands pain for both humans and vampires because he went through a lot himself. Shinnosuke was a child who had to grow up faster than anyone...

I hope an era will come where he doesn’t have to dye his hair black anymore.”

About Ishikawa “Ishikawa doesn’t speak much about himself, but he has been living since the Edo period. A master of sword drawing, intelligent, and gentle... He’s like a legendary master swordsman.

He ranks lower than me, but I cannot dodge his sword drawing... One thing I learned from observing him is that we can beat a vampire that ranks above us through training and experience.

But what’s most impressive about Ishikawa is that he tries to solve issues by talking it through. That is why vampires that work at Tenman-ya and the customers all respect him. He’s always there when you need him... If it weren’t for him I’d probably be shattered by now.

Shinnosuke and Ishikawa- They are both very important to me, and I want to protect them no matter what. Tenman-ya... is where I belong.”

About the Change “My physical abilities drastically improved since I became a vampire... Though, I don’t know how to put it, but it seems like my brain can’t keep up with my body.

It’s probably because I wasn’t the athletic type. It’s like I’m put behind the wheel of a car with broken brakes without any practice... I guess being athletic not only requires physicality, but also the skill the process information that’s coming in.

Adjusting my strength is the challenge. If I touch something the same way I did when I was human, it breaks... I broke 4 doors and 26 plates until today... Sigh, being a vampire isn’t for me after all... Shinnosuke won’t yell and just smiles if I break something at the shop... But he does deduct my salary.

...I’ll be loaded with debt... if I don’t get used to my body fast enough...”

About Daily Life “I rather hated the sun even as a human. I think it was since I was young... I rarely played with my friends outside. I locked myself in the house and read books during the day, and went out to see operas or concerts at night... People mocked me that I’m an “Ope-rascal” or a “rich slacker”...

Wait- my life hasn’t changed much even after becoming a vampire... In that sense, people like me might be right for vampires. Although... I’m not good with fighting or seeing blood.

Ishikawa said that there are many vampires who find it difficult to be restricted to night hours. But, it hasn’t really bothered me just yet.”

About Ranks “I’ve noticed that some people avoid me. Back when I was human, people made fun of me or even bullied me. So I didn’t realize it at first... But it seems that the ones that are avoiding me right now are vampires that rank below me. If I hadn’t become a vampire, I would probably have never known that there were so many vampires in the Imperial Capital.

...But I wonder about Defrott if that’s the case. I wonder how he sees this world? If people are afraid of someone like me who is merely C-Class, then it must be tough for someone like Defrott who’s an S-Class to walk around the streets...

But to be honest- I am scared of him myself deep inside... He looks like a young boy who talks so kindly but... vampire’s instincts can be quite mysterious.”

[nightswithkookmin]

still same anon. this was another one of my asks from months ago. basically it was a comment I made about jikook's intimacy. it was from this interview: https://youtu.be/T--BOS8oTec the moment I'm talking about happens from 3:00 minute timestamp onwards. i was saying how despite this moment being "skinship" or whatever, it kinda hit different? there's also intimacy there. bc you see how jimin doesn't have to say anything and jungkook immediately understands what to do and starts massaging his neck. jimin literally threw a glance at him, tilted his neck a lil and jungkook didn't need a second more to know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about it since I know that you're not big on skinship defining jikook's relationship, but I think there ARE jikook skinship moments worth noting and this is one of them imo.

Oh ok. Thanks.

SKINSHIP IN CONTEXT

I think skinship by it's very definition is an intimate act depending on the level of familiarity between the parties involved in the act.

From my understanding of skinship, it's basically interactions that would otherwise be viewed as sexual outside of their culture but viewed as acceptable platonic behavior between the same sex or even the opposite sex.

The objective of skinship is to be intimate with another person on a level that's only next to romance.

I remember my sister telling me how shook she was when she found out for the first time, around 2011 when she first moved to Seoul, how she couldn't even keep her pants on at a 'Jimjirban' because all the gals in there were expected to walk around butt naked in the spa. No towels, no pants, no robes butt nakedttt.

'Mehn, this doesn't happen where I'm coming from' she said to her companion.

A. I'm black.

B. I'm not flat.

C. I'm wearing my pants.

Her very naked friend, a native SK, whom she says she'd only met for like a week, then grabbed her underwear and pulled it down her thighs exposing her deforested vagina to the winds and a dozen other curious gazes. All females.

'For a second, I thought I had been tricked into an orgy of a sort. I was very naked without my consent. Wind whistling through my shy butt cracks. Watching very naked females of varying ages stare on with pride and smiles on their faces as if I had just saved a village or something and when I jiggled when I walked I could hear them gasp, amazed- Goldy, how is this not gay?'

'You think skinship between their men is weird, wait till you see their women. Wait till a very attractive Korean girl is breathing down your neck and caressing your nape and complementing your skin while showing you pictures of her boyfriend on her phone.'

She says it took her a while to get used to the skinship between women in SK and seeing the men interact in a certain way messed with her brains for a while. She said she felt her intelligence was being played with most of the time.

I guess if you want to look at Jikook's skinship as intimate then there's nothing wrong it.

Skinship is intimate at the very least.

But skinship, for all intent and purposes, is platonic and nonsexual in nature. And maybe this is a fatal flaw on my part. Or maybe thanks to my sister, I'm desensitized to this form of interaction but I have a hard time seeing Jikook's intimacy as platonic or even seeing most of their skinship as romantic- in anyway. It will make sense in a bit, hold on.

I have a hard time equating skinship with romantic intimacy. But that's just me.

I wasn't able to click on the link you sent but I'm guessing this is the moment you are talking about?

I wouldn't call this skinship. I mean it is but I wouldn't call it that. Skinship is meant to show how close two people are. How familiar they are with eachother.

This doesn't show how close Jikook are. But It shows how caring and affectionate JK is as human being, as a dongsaeng, and as a boyfriend.

I'd rather we celebrate that. JK doesn't get highlighted enough. He caters to the people he cares about. He is an attentive person.

Hate to be a grinch but I can pull up a couple of times JK has done that very gesture with Jin or Tae or Hobi. Remember Soop? Remember when Jin complained of feeling cold and JK went up to him immediately and 'warmed' him up?

Of course, Jimin kept stealing glances at him like he could throw a shoe at the back of his head if he could but that's beside the point.

The man is an empath. He's said several times he feels a lot of pain watching his hyungs go through it. Fact is, Jk cares about people. He's kind, loving and he shows this aspect of him through gestures like these.

He does it for Jimin. He does it for all the members because as he's said, they are all a family.

It's stressful hearing people claim he doesn't give a fuck about Jimin, that he doesn't care about JM because he shows affections for others besides JM.

At some point we would have to make a distinction between what acts flows from their unique personalities because of who they are at their core and what act flows from them being a couple.

Most people who see Jimin as a natural nurturer and what not are able to separate this identity from his ship moments but JK isn't accorded the same privilege. It is why most people are quick to lash out at him when he interacts with others in the same way he interacts with Jimin.

When JM acts nurturing towards V or RM or Suga he is seen a good, kind person.

When JK does something affectionate it's seen as a beautiful Jikook moment or Taekook moment or Jinkook moment and is soon swept under the carpet, soon forgotten and never tied to the personality of JK- perhaps because most of these shippers don't care to know who JK is as a person and as a human.

When Jimin does something affectionate its 'awww Jimin is such an amazing person' even if that act is merely performative sometimes.

I try not to engage in conversations that perpetuate this horrifying discrimination against either of Jikook. They are both individuals.

There are a lot of Asks sitting in my box highlighting the various ways JM is awesome and kind and amazing as s boyfriend to JK and not a single out of 500 plus posts talking about how empathetic JK really is. How thoughtful he is to even pack motion sickness drugs to go on trips even though he doesn't get motion illness and JM is the one that often complains about motion sickness on trips.

The heteronormative lens, on opposite ends of the spectrum in the shipping community, which dictates we perceive on Jikook as either feminine or masculine is a telltale sign of the misogyny and misandry prevalent within this fandom.

The fandom's heteronormative lens filters Jimin as the wildly feminine archetype, wildly fragile, sexy and womanly right down to the way we praise him as the 'good woman' in his relationship with JK- loyal, faithful, nurturing, kind, silent in that he continues to perform Jikook even when Jikook are not in a great place. etc.

Yet because he is seen as womanly or feminine, the part of the fandom that hates women hate Jimin. That's where all the slut shaming, bullying and harassment stems from- misogyny.

Jk is viewed as the opposite of that. By most, he is very masculine man and as such harbors all the traits of masculinity the modern woman detests- toxic masculinity, cheating, disloyal, fuckboy who treats women like shit. All forms of hatred and intolerance towards men is projected on to him especially by male intolerant people or dare I say feminist women within the fandom.

And you see them in the way they are always fighting for Jimin against JK as if Jimin were a fragile faithful woman whose man don't treat him right thus further perpetuating the heteronormative stereotypes of Jimin.

What's disconcerting is Jikook are both men and yet depending on how their masculinity or femininity is perceived, they are both treated very differently.

You hear Tuktukkers talk about how Jikook is as a result of heteronormativity and thus prescribe Taekook as the ideal homonormative ship- because to them, Tae and JK are both seen as two whole men.

To them Jimin is just not man enough to even be gay- isn't that the foundation of homophobia?

Gay men not seen as men at all?

Whereas amongst Jokers, Jimin's manliness is often forgiven and JK's is abhorred. Jk is too much of a man and men just ain't shit.

This may sound like an over simplification but Tuktukkers hate women, Jokers hate men and either side suck. In my opinion.

Jimin is a nurturer he cares about people including his boyfriend. JK is an empath he feels the pain of those close to him including his boyfriend and is often moved to ease or take away some of that pain.

It's thus annoying to hear people out here yell and complain on every turn each time JK interacts with the others how JK 'doesn't act exclusive' with Jimin or how he doesn't care about Jimin.

Should he not care about anyone besides Jimin just because he is dating Jimin?

It's annoying when they say the same about Jimin. Jimin nurtures everyone ergo there's nothing special or exclusive about the way he nurtures JK.

Nonsense such as these are spewed without taking into account that those acts in themselves speak directly to who these people are as human beings first and foremost; secondly, to how they feel about the person at the recieving end of their affections.

If they are treating everyone the same it's probably because they love everyone too- in a non romantic way of course. It's their love language. They love others with the same heart they love eachother with.

It doesn't take away from how they feel about eachother. JK admiring another member does not mean when he admires Jimin it's nothing. It just mean he admires Jimin too.

Not everything has to be romanticized or given a romantic context. They are each expressing themselves and their feelings for their bandmates. It's about them not their bandmates or their relationship with said bandmates.

Certain moments are just attestation to their love language be it platonic or romantic and it says more about who they are as people than what their relationship with the other person is. It's not all about their relationship.

People need to start treating Jikook as individuals. They are humans first before a ship. Shipping them shouldn't take away from their authentic expressions of self.

That's how they each end up getting cussed out in these streets left and right.

It's ridiculous.

This is JK being JK. Imma leave it at that.

This is from the same interview where Tae was talking about how they love showcasing their bond.

It's ok to celebrate it. Just see it for what it is- as flowing from JK's kind self. This is not Jikook. This is JK. Jeon Jungkook.

Don't fume or act disappointed when you see him do the same kind gesture for another member just because of the meaning you are imposing on this moment. Know what I mean?

That being said, there are certain Jikook 'skinship' moments that crosses the line of skinship right into sexual foreplay.

If 'skinship' leaves you 'sexually excited' it's not skinship. Nobody can tell me nothing.

Make of this moment what you will. Just be responsible with it. I think. But don't mind me. I'm grumpy.

Signed,

GOLDY