#from her own mouth

[momentomori24]

I may just be insane about this but does this feel like foreshadowing to anyone else. In this scene we see her trying to replicate the skill of someone else (her mother) and failing to achieve the same results that they would. That feels really specific and it's driving me insane.

Like, we see this come back again in the aftermath of the trial. Diana has repeatedly voiced her admiration for Wolfgang's ability to speak and inspire those around him in the darkest of times, saying she wished she could do the same. We see her pour her heart out and give her own speech to inspire the others-- except the reaction that she receives is cold and miserable, far from the newly kindled warmth and hope Wolfgang was able to create every time.

Diana is a chameleon. Her whole thing is to reflect, to replicate and to adapt. Do you think that this small scene where she tries to make a butterfly out of her hairclips-- a butterfly, an animal associated with transformation and change-- and the end result looking nothing like what she wanted it to be is a metaphor for her future character arc? She has declared that she wants to follow in Wolfgang's footsteps, wants to become something new, but do you think that by the end she ends up being the furthest thing from him? Do you think that by the end she will be left distorted, fundamentally wrong? Do you think that if she could see what she will become in the future, the only emotion that she can muster is horror as she gazes at a stranger that's supposed to be herself? That by the end, she won't be able to recognise herself, because there's no "her" left anymore?

[leashybebes]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

tommy must live in a perpetual state of confusion over buck

do you think the longer buck allies the more tommy realises that "oh, he really is like this but he's definitely some flavor of queer"? because i see tommy maybe gently testing buck's jealousy to see what it'll take to make him break

oooookay once again this is not a snippet (sorryyyyy) but is more me attempting to understand wtf is going on in tommy's head throughout all this that he keeps "sure, okay"-ing himself into ridiculous situations with buck, so apologies for just unloading the contents of my brain on you

there are a few things i've been chewing on in terms of figuring out how tommy reacts to the buck of it all, which i hope will make it make sense that i actually don't think tommy pushing or testing for jealousy is on the cards in this fic (although i do love the idea!)

so first of all, this is a younger tommy than we've seen interact with buck in canon (of course), so whatever happened to make him Like That in the breakup hasn't happened yet (and won't, because i am a slut for a HEA). he's newly out and in my experience, a lot of newly out people, particularly people who are a bit older have something of a second adolescence. so yeah while this means he's incredibly horny (horny enough to let a self-proclaimed straight guy give him the absolute best sex of his life) it also means he just wants to have fun!! and buck is SO. MUCH. FUN. he's spent so long so tightly controlled that he's trying really hard to just go with the flow.

second, when i say newly out tommy, i mean newly out. like, it's one thing to "stop lying about who i am" - to me, there's a non-zero chance that just means "stop making up girlfriends" rather than "actually grapple with the life-long process of coming out (again and again and again)". so in my head (and it might come up in the fic, idk yet) the scene early on where he tells buck he doesn't want the cute girl's number because he's gay is probably one of the first times he actually said the words out loud. which ties into...

third, we know tommy was work friends with sal (at least and again, don't know that it'll come up in the fic but for the record, he 100% had a monstrous crush on him, like it made him ILL how much he wanted sal, i will hear no arguments), and that he developed good - again, work-based - friendships with hen and chim, but i feel like for a deeply closeted guy under dadt with a shitty childhood buck might be his first actual friend who knows all of him and likes him. spends time with him. doesn't care that he's gay. actively supports his gayness. doesn't recoil and in fact actively encourages tommy to talk about it. so i think tommy is just...deeply, deeply grateful for this confusing train wreck of a man

fourth, while i think there are definitely times that tommy thinks "he...he's flirting with me, right? is something gonna happen here?" this is a guy who has spent his entire adult life not looking at that kinda thing. not letting himself wonder if a guy (particularly a friend) is into him. or really, even if he's into them. he's really, really good at compartmentalising, and buck's pretty insistent that he's straight, so tommy's taking that at face value. hey, buck makes compelling arguments ("tommy, straight men have prostates too!")

aaaaand there we have the contents of my brain as it relates to one tommy kinard. even in my own incredibly stupid AUs, i am frankly obsessed. i want to gnaw on him. i'll settle for having buck do it instead.

[artemisxrose]

FUCK Liam Payne! I will no longer support OT5 and I don’t even want a 1D reunion anymore. It’s so disgusting how so many of you defend these boys actions, but especially Liam, in light of everything that has come out. Maya Henry has every right to speak about her experiences. And it’s gross that I’m seeing literal threads and tweets upon tweets of people calling her a liar and saying all these horrible things. You’re proving Liam right! “No one will believe you anyways and the fans will always defend us!”

Is that not absolutely horrifying to yall? That this man is weaponizing his fanbase against women that he has treated poorly? And yall continue to enable him! Everything Maya said in her recent TikTok was true! Yall defend this abuser because of boy band nostalgia? What the fuck is wrong with some of yall? It makes me sick. It’s always “believe women” “believe victims” until it’s your fave, right?!

We don’t know these people! “He would never do that…” YOU DONT KNOW HIM! These parasocial relationships are going too far.

What’s scary is based on some of the stuff Maya said, I wonder if this is only the tip of the iceberg with Liam. He’s probably done so much shit we don’t even know about. Maybe even the other boys???

I know I’m ranting and no one probably cares but some of the tweets I saw defending Liam were so triggering and upsetting. Trending hashtags like #FreeLiam and #WeLoveYouLiam when a woman CONFIRMED that he abused her is just so sickening. This is why women don’t come forward. This is especially why victims of celebrities and people in power don’t come forward. Because this is how they’re treated. Maya literally even confirmed that Liam and his team have tried to silence her and didn’t want the book to come out. I just… there are no more words.

This whole situation is so triggering… I’m so angry and upset.

Fuck Liam Payne and Fuck all of yall defending him.

[swan2swan]

Recognition.

[ferretwhomst]

did i ever tell tumblr about my dear ocs rosette and avalon

[t4tsawty]

my new obsession of the month is original post-split/bfb 16

[haru-chi]

You know .. I don't know why people only limit their option/thinking to "is Yorishima the grandpa or not?" and start rethinking everything from that angle only ..

Not to say this idea is wrong or right more like ... I find it kinda funny that people don't see Yorishima as anything but that .. that that his only purpose in the story either to serve as "fake grandpa" or "be the real grandpa" and see no other purpose or different role to him which's amusing in a way ..

It's like being blinded either directly or indirectly to other ideas which might be the real goal by Midorikawa-sensei, until she come and say that his role is actually different <3

Is him knowing Reiko for sure/weird familiarity between him and Natsume only serve the point of "fake/real grandpa" .. is that the only role and option opens to him story-wise ?

Some might say that then if not that one then what other options/ideas for him story-wise ?

I can't be the only one considering other ideas/theories about him related to Reiko aside from the grandpa one, right ?!

Like for example ...

him being the brother of the real grandpa so he's Natsume's uncle

him being Reiko's killer

him being a firsthand witness to the story of Reiko and her husband even how she died and by who thus hated the exorcist world and distanced himself ever since

him being the one who took care of Reiko's daughter/Natsume's mother after Reiko's death till she married and protect/hide her till then

as for what I believe personally, well, let's say so far for me he's not the grandpa for sure so I'm looking at things from that angle. so, I do consider all those options even tho I lean to a certain one maybe but can't say for sure yet ...

I'm only saying that Midorikawa-sensei has many options for him story-wise than what people actually assumed the first time and locked him down to only that to consider what else might be there for him.

there might also be an option I hadn't considered yet for all we know so far <3

[spywhitney]

How I sleep knowing I'll never trust anyone that hates Sydney but worships Richie:

[cent-scratchnsniff]

just shy

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[chayannesegg]

listen, i absolutely get ramon not wanting to talk to sunny & feeling hurt/betrayed by her helping tubbo

like, i'd hazard he might even feel more betrayed by them than tubbo himself—bc sunny & ramon probably talked about what family meant to him (during their sleepovers or something) and ramon has no insight into why they'd do that whereas tubbo, for all his actions have hurt ramon, very clearly has the emotional capacity of a wet paper plate and issues running deeper than marianas trench

but that makes it all the more heart wrenching that he won't hear her out (and you can see in the backgrounds of vods her multiple attempts over several days to get his attention just to be rebuffed) bc i bet if she could explain herself even a little things could be so different

it reminds of the situation from the other week where sunny wasn't talking with em and tubbo tried to explain that, even if you're mad at them, suddenly stopping talking to someone you love could make them feel awful and worse than you intended

and that is what's happening to sunny. it's miserable to see bc she was already so isolated and ramon, as her big brother, is someone she put a lot of trust in to be there for her and listen to her and it must feel to her like that was an empty promise to have him not even hearing her out.

and it's particularly tragic bc sunny didn't even want to mess with fit and pac. yes, she was "tempted" to aid tubbo in his quest, but I really don't think it was bc she was actually worried about being left behind when she agreed. i think she could tell tubbo was scared and hurting and not ready to accept the change and didn't want him to be alone. she didn't really have another option and every adult can see that but ramon is young and blinded by his hurt

and now sunny is left feeling abandoned and forgotten and replaced and it's exactly what their pa said would happen; self fulfilling prophecy :(

[electoons]

she was the silliest billy 🥹

[everythingsinred]

Hi, I'm sorry, I know it's been a long time but I found an old post of yours where you say that the mangaka of Gakuen Alice said that Natsume and Mikan relationship is not safe or comfortable, did they really say that? I had no idea. What else has the author said about their relationship? I'm curious (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

hi <3

There's really no worries about ever sending me an ask, especially if it's GA related. I'll pretty much always answer <3

And that would be from the Memorial Book, where, according to some fan translations I've seen here and otherwise online (because there is no official English translation), Higuchi Tachibana said something along the lines of Natsume not getting too comfortable or sure of himself or thinking he "won." Essentially she's implying Ruka and Hotaru still have a shot with Mikan because she might change her mind about Natsume so he shouldn't get cocky or some other bullcrap like that.

I feel like it's understandable that I despise that line of thinking so I more or less ignore the Memorial Book and everything about the ending in general (excluding the Little Red Riding Hood comic and the HotaRuka crumbs). I've talked at length about why that type of commentary bothers me here. I just generally don't really care much about what the mangaka says anymore. I love her story and I love her art but her personal opinions, even about her own characters, do not matter to me at all.

I'm not sure what else she said in the Memorial Book or otherwise. She mentioned Natsume would have a slightly longer life because of Mikan's alice stone but that he'd still die young, and after that Mikan would probably be with Ruka (if the picture she drew of them together is supposed to be taken as canon). She mentioned somewhere (I don't recall where) that Natsume wasn't planned to be the "victor" but he just emerged in the lead at some point and she went along with it, which I always took to be a bit ridiculous because SHE WROTE THIS STORY. The characters lead you places but if she really preferred Ruka as the one Mikan ended up with then she should have written that from the beginning and IMHO, it was always Natsume from the start so no I don't buy that.

I realllyyyyyy don't like being negative about GA so I usually don't think about the canon ending, Memorial Book, or Higuchi Tachibana much. I love this manga with my whole heart and always will, but I really don't like it when creators rag on something fans love just to be edgy or contrary or whatnot. It makes me feel like they don't respect me for liking something THEY made, and if they don't respect me then I don't really wanna respect them. I feel similarly about actors shitting on past projects I like, but this one takes the cake in making me feel Not Great because of how much I love GA and NatsuMikan. It's just a huge slap in the face and always was, since the first time I read that comment of hers.

Since then, neither the canon ending nor the Memorial Book have existed to me.

Death of the author applies to lots of works but to me it has always applied to GA and always will!

[sincerely-sofie]

I’m the anon that sent in all the Ruby stuff! It makes me so happy that you love her so much. I didn’t expect her to be such a beloved character to you and I was kind of nervous that you would have hated her tbh. ^^;

Something Ruby related — I had a fic about Twig and co. confronting the siblings before I ultimately scrapped it because I could not write villainous characters without making them feel cliché. I do remember this one line said by Ruby’s sister when she lashes out towards Twig:

“You wouldn’t get it. You have a cushy life style and you baby your daughter instead of actually raising her. We’re doing that ungrateful, spoiled brat a favor — we’re teaching her how to survive. You wouldn’t know the meaning of that with that silver spoon in your mouth.”

I don’t blame you for struggling with not making the siblings feel cliché— writing villainous characters gets 900x more difficult the second you don’t want to make them sympathetic. Ark was fairly simple for me to write, even in scrapped scenes where he was all-in with his villainous role during the events of the post-game. Twig’s aunt, meanwhile, gave me a heck of a hard time while I was developing her backstory.

[femmeterypolka]

finished listening to bloodchild and other stories.

[laugtherhyena]

merry christmas!

-

Maybe, in another universe,

Benitsuru tightened the grip she had on her pajamas. Her father still wasn't home-- he said he'd be back early tonight.

People have time for me.

Hamato had to go a bit ago. She didn't understand why-- buncha grownup nonsense words leaving his mouth. Probably just an excuse to get away from her.

Maybe, in another universe,

The old grandfather clock began to chime. She hated that chime. Hated that it signified that same-old excuse that her so-called father made.

I'm not a burden.

She should be in bed by now. It was reaching 22:00, which meant she should be sound asleep. But she didn't feel sleepy.

Maybe, in another universe,

Her hands, small as can be, reached up and tangled in her brown hair. And she began to tug, tug, tug. The way it tugged at her scalp hurt, but it was a habit that she struggled to break out of.

She's here, instead of me.

Her gaze fell onto the picture above the fireplace as she tugged on the locks of her hair. Two women that she couldn't really remember-- her Mother, and her Sister. Benitsuru knew that neither her brother nor her father would ever admit it, but they're both constantly grieving.

Maybe she should be grieving, too. Grieving for a mother who died saving her. Grieving for a sister who died for no reason.

It was hard to grieve people she didn't remember.

Maybe it would've been better for her to swap places with those two. They'd both be alive, and....

.

.

.

She was too young to think about that.

You know what's sad?

Hamato was an unplanned child, Kanata on as well since the Ando's couldn't ever expect such situations like her accident's to unfold, but Benitsuru?

Yukari wanted another child because hers were growing up so fast, and Hikaru agreed with her that they could have a third child even if they were in their 40s already.

She was the one child they planned and the one that, due to terrible circumstances, received the least care from both growing up.

So it's really no wonder why she lached onto Kokoro out of all people as a mother figure; Her dad was hardly at home, and with Yukari out of the picture, that was the one adult woman who gave her the time of day. The same one who helped diagnose her when her dad didn't had time to investigate her mental turmoil, the one that would gladly anwser all of her questions about mentall illnesses and other topics alike, the one that would let her stick around he work place and help her even if just a little.

It doesn't matter if she doesn't act like a mother or sees her as a daughter, it doesn't matter that their time together wasn't all that long due to her sentence. That was the closest thing she's ever had to a mother in her life (why do you think her glasses are so big and round? Her father's don't look like that.), so regardless, she will still care. She will still visit.

(This isn't to say Beni is like,, A Kokoro apologist or that she excuses her actions. As an adult she knows about everything she did and she by no means dismisses it or tries to excuse it in one way or another. It's disgusting, its monstruous, but that's still the woman that she had nothing but good memories with when she was little. I don't think Beni can just do a 180 and start hating someone she had such a good view off first and foremost + It helps that -2+2 Kokoro feels remorse for her actions and regained her empathy from her time in th Sdra2 killing game)

And since I'm turning this gift into Beni rambke central i might as well elaborate here why her views on Yukari and Kanata are so drastically different when both of them are people who died when se was too young to remember them.

With Kanata, she learned all about how kind and great of a person she was from the surviours, mainly Kizuna due to how close they were and how she wanted to get to know and help Kanata so family in any way she could after the killing game. She heard nothing but great things about her big sister, hence why the admiration. The same that led to her asking more about Kanata to Hamato and even Hikaru when he was around, and obviously the thing that led to her wanting to pursue a careers in the medical field as well. It's like their getting ever so slightly closer even if forever apart.

But Yukari? The only people who could tell her of her mother were her family. Hikaru is busy as always and talking about her hurts him the most, Hamato is a more willing, but other than telling her some basics and showing her a few things he liked, he was grieving too, he couldn't say much.

It is easier for them to talk about her now that it's been a long time, but as an adult it's not like Beni wants to hear about her much anymore.