#friendship that needs more attention!
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader āā an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best āā if you've been wrong the whole time āā that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack āā i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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illario + lucanis growing up together means a lot for obvious reasons ofc like the fact they did not have to go through the dellamorte villa torment nexus alone really helps. immediately from the moment they are taken to that house, lucanis has had something to protect and love. the snark and jokes that they share in wigmaker job finally having a chance to shine outside of the only person lucanis is socialised with and he learns that wow, he's actually likable. because up until this point everyone around him calls him a demon and is freaked out by him but ofc the veilguard only know him as lucanis "he banished harding from the kitchen" dellamorte. sure he's a big bad crow assassin but his reputation simply does not carry that much weight with people who are just equally deranged (maybe a de riva rook but that's also a little different) . and then he's able to share and extend that love with his new friends, and able to try being something that he's not had the chance to before, and his goodness is actively encouraged rather than being an unfortunate sidequest that is tolerated. and i fondly think also of how much of that humor is copied and mirrored off illario ("shoulders....... feeling tight...... need a ..... MASSAGE!") and it's his best experiences with illario that turned him into the man he is. wish the game explored this just a little more because the betrayal would have been made a lot more intense if they had just bothered to show any of illario's redeeming qualities. he has them!!!!! nobody is just born a traitor. you have to love someone before they can become that.
#not sure where i was going with this one#just thinking of the differences in the way lucanis is in wigmaker and in veilguard#particularly with how.. jokey he is i guess. that was much more illario#anyways sorry i need to keep posting about him but i also dont want to start cornplating#'you're the vengeancey one!' 'a funny little dog' 'usually its just death' etc. that was all illario#not that lucanis is not funny in wigmaker just.... i dont know. it manifests differently. he's taunting and sarcastic#anyways. sorry. i have to lie down#its a point ive made before and the point was supposed to be illario's obvious influence on lucanis#but . idk. i dont know if thats clear. anyways#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#txt#and then ofc how lucky lucanis was to have the veilguard while illario's self inflicted fucking torment nexus made his life worse#thinking of that one post. one of my mutuals made and ive lost to my likes. where it was like#if illario just had one positive relationship outside of this shit where he felt valued and loved and received this attention#then he would not have turned out the way he did. which i honestly believe is true lol#lucanis is 'obligated' to love him. the same way they're both raised to believe family is everything and the way they're obligated to-#-love caterina. having an outsider actually care for him for no reason other than being illario could have actually fucking like#fixed this. and i hesitate to say 'power of friendship' 'dick so good it saved him' 'post nut clarity' etc etc but ITS JUST.#MAYBE HE DESERVES SOME COMPANIONSHIP THATS NOT THE CROWS. THE SAME THING THAT LUCANIS GOT. THATS ALL
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tgcf fandom can we please start holding feng xin accountable for being an ass to mu qing for 800 years. like. he started most fights and was constantly on servant mu qing's ass who was just trying to survive but people always skip over it
#it's not really bickering to me it's literally just feng xin being an asshole#listen. don't get me wrong I love feng xin but we need to discuss his flaws more#I personally think he was somewhat jealous of mu qing#since he was xie lian's only friend at the time and really valued their friendship#so having to share with mu qing and seeing mu qing getting all this attention from him#pissed feng xin off#think about it. he's always starting shit when xie lian is praising mu qing#I think feng xin should've apologized too during book 8 honestly#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#hob#eternal faith#xie lian#feng xin#mu qing#xianle trio#xianle era
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sigh why is it so hard to make freaky friends who aren't 100% freaky all the time, i want freaky friends where freaky is a bonus but friendship is first <3
(but freaky is a big bonus tehe)
#freaky friendship#as long as you still talk to me and we are still best friends i dont mind being freaky#i need more hot friends to be freaky with tehe#please read pinned b4 u dm me tho :3#puppy sub#dumb puppy#nsft puppy#puppy nsft#nb puppy#nonbinary puppy#free use slvt#bd/sm kink#dumb slvt#good slvt#cnc free use#attention wh0r3#cnc k!nk#fr33use#fr33use slvt#stupid slvt#sapphic nsft dms#send nsft dms#wlw dms#dms open#nsft bi#bi dms#dms nsft#nsft dm me#nsft dms open#bd/sm puppy
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes Iām making all these posts in a row#itās bc Iām obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUNDāHIS#STORY (HIS pov. however āabstractā and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lostā¦ bc wolves actually have family and Iām p sure the#lone wolf thing is a mythā¦ after she realizes that sheās not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things Iām thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar spaceā¦ bc sheās vulnerable to her past hereā¦. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamusās friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) āwas it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm thereās so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole āher needing to release her angerā thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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extremely well thought out female character that gets disregarded in the name of yaoi and amazingly written character that gets ignored by the fandom because they aren't white had a baby and her name is Mel Medarda
#its ok mel#i will love you#only black lesbians love her the way she needs to be loved#because we love women and our people!!!!!1!!#arcane#mel medarda#she's my 2nd favorite of the whole show#ill never forgive this fandom for throwing her to the side bc jayvik#oh also before i get mobbed i literally have zero problem with jayvik#i dont ship it at all but i think its ok i understand why other people do#im just personally not a big shipper#also i tend to like friendships more than romance#you can like jayvik and also give mel the attention she deserves#like i promise its possible to do both#league of legends#ok byeee
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Filed under: films I didnāt expect to get obsessed over.
Chuck & Buck (2000) - A dark drama based on the arrested development of a man hopelessly stuck in the memories and love for his childhood best friend.
*be advised if you havenāt seen this movie i literally spoil everything
#nobody may actually watch this and thatās okay#i had to do this for myself#but also#this movie needs more attention#chuck & buck#homoerotic love story#video edit#queer media#mike white#chris weitz#queer film#mine#chuck and buck#gay#chuck x buck#youāre somebody else#homoerotic friendship
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2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*thereās extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearningā¦.the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - itās so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess itās a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist whoās perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when thatās Not what you want out of the relationshipā¦ā¦ā¦#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships werenāt accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroyās end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I donāt understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other peopleās interpretations donāt matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you canāt just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
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#I think itās nearly impossible to shake the feeling that Iāll never be anyoneās first choice#for anything really#friendship or family or in writing competitions or like anything in life#my friends always have better friends than me#Iām always just barely below the cut in competitions#thereās always someone that needs more attention than I do#and itās not the sort of thing you can just bring up#because it just comes across as whining#idk Iām going through it tonight#no amount of logic or prayer is helping#itās just one of those days I guess#I feel horribly inadequate#and Iāve felt this way for a very long time#and Iāve found no way to get rid of it
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#vent#wow I will never be able to let myself have friends huh#I am unwanted and inherently unwantable#I have it all figured out I just can't DO anything right. why is breaking silence the hardest thing to do#I can't bring myself to make/maintain/deepen friendships bc I'm convinced that I'm unpleasant to be around and unpleasant to be friends with#my company is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy#<- completely unjustified belief. I am kind and friendly and capable of responding appropriately in the majority of social situations#they reach out and I shrink back every time. no matter how much they reach towards me I can't believe that they actually want me around#and ofc the reasonable thing for them to do is stop reaching! when I never reach back! why would they expect a different outcome this time#so I can't blame anyone. I can't sit around waiting for a saintly mindreader who can see that my actions contradict my feelings#I know I just need to reach out. but how could I do that when I'm convinced it'll only hurt them?#my presence makes their day worse. I'm a mangy dog begging for scraps I don't deserve at their table. I am harming them with my presence#how can I beg for their attention and company and time when I know their life would be better without me in it#<- false belief. when I reach out I make them feel wanted and they feel more comfortable reaching out to me when they know I like them.#everyone appreciates being reached out to. I am pleasant to be around. they like being liked by me. my company is a desirable thing#company in general is a desirable thing. my company is better than no company. people like being liked.#logically I know all this to be true. emotionally? they hate me and I deserve it and the more I show I like them the more they'll hate me#sigh. what a banal problem to have. I'll stop being 18 years old one day. I can't wait until I have better things to worry about#replies appreciated. btw. in the interest of asking for what I want instead of expecting ppl to read my mind lmao#narcissus's echoes
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i LOVE how courteous, and pleasant ansem sounds when he says āallow me to demonstrateā cutest thing ever before he stabs maleficent with the artificial keyblade he made and is very excited to show off <3 (it was to unlock infinite power. they are friends.)
#robo ramble#its a bit hard to hear but if you listen for ansemās voice under rikuās he sounds quite cutes#ITS SO CRAZYY riku sounds completely flat because hes not in control of himself#but at the same time theres some lines where riku seems to be ācoming outā a little OUGH ITS SO GOOD#THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL#i think like the line where he says ādont you see yet?ā it almost sounds like riku is a bit frustrated#and the āneed some help?ā feel too riku honestlyyyy like. and riku was recently possessed when he said that#the last part of the āfitting end for such a foolā line is so fucking crazy how clearly you can hear ansem HELLO ???#i want to know more about ansem and maleficents relationship bc whatever tf was going on with them is so intriguing#ansems weird relationship with the concept of friendship
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore š¶āāļø
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour š#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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do you and mikeysway still talk-??
Nope, not at all š¤¦āāļø I'm actually glad I ONLY got 2 asks about her (so far),, but yeah it took you guys AGES to figure this out??? I cut her off last monthš but yeah, me and her not being together doesn't affect me (nor does it affect her, I hope??) im just saying, this friendship could've worked in another universe because we're two different people who just happen to have the same humour ā¹ļøso short answer, no anon we are NOT friends anymore š¤·āāļø
#for example#I need space usually. I want a good distance from people to feel comfortable because talking on a daily basis makes me stressed#like its a chore or something#she doesn't want space she just likes quality time maybe and has one person to stick to all the time#thats the main issue i guess#but if i got more space to breathe i think this friendship could've worked out just fine LMAO#and now that all my attention isn't focused on one person all the time#it's easier for me to get closer with my other mutuals AND my irl friendsš«¶š«¶#maybe its my fault for being too busy? probably and probably notš#but im not affected by any of this and I'm through š i got myself a few cool friends šš
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I stg if I see one more person call the goddamn honeymoon phase of a relationship "love bombing" I'm going to chew through the earth's crust
#love bombing is one of two fucking things#it is either a cult tactic in which members ''feign friendship'' in order to manipulate interested parties into becoming more invested#OR it is an abuse tactic where your partner showers you with affectionā pressures you quickly towards intense commitment and then gets mad#at you if you pay attention to anything else#love bombing is NOT when your partners behaves highly affectionately towards you at the beginning of a relationship#infatuation exists! people latch strongly onto new things! they've probably idealized you at least a little bit!#it takes time for people to adjust to a new layer of relationship#if it is not part of the abuse pattern of idealization devalue discard then it isnt love bombing#and devalue doesn't mean just losing interest. it means shit like belittling you or otherwise diminishing you in order to control you#ok sorry thats the end of my rant im just. so tired. of the pop pschology pathologization of relationships these days#most people aren't abusive. they're just toxic. they're making mistakes and accidentally hurting people#im not saying you shouldn't feel hurt. it sucks when that shit happens accidentally! your feelings fucking matter!#but understanding intent is important to better protecting yourself in the future#bc the behaviors that protect you from abuse and the behaviors that protect you from accidents are Different. you need both#okay ill shut tf up now
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what do you think the best case scenario is for jean and harry's relationship post-martinaise?
okay so not to be Like That but i do have one fic up about this with another one currently in the works
but anyway. obviously their relationship is never going to go back to the way it was. there was just SO MUCH between them that they have no hope of restoring with harry's amnesia, and also jean knows rationally that things shouldn't ever be the way they were again. it's not like they were ever supposed to be that way anyway.
in the best-case, i think it takes MONTHS for them to even start to bridge the gap, and harry has to initiate it. jean is done being the one reaching out, being the fixer, overlooking things. IF harry wants him back, as a friend or anything else- and secretly jean wants him to want him back, but he'll never admit that- he has to take the first steps and do the work. so first harry has to put in the work to recover (if harry kept using drugs, i don't think jean would care, but he'd have to kick the alcohol) and then harry has to put in the personal work and learn how to communicate properly and respect boundaries. even when he starts trying i think jean pushes back for a while and harry has to take his turn being the bigger person and let jean complain or shut him down or whatever and not bitch about it or start a fight, because that will just push jean away more.
best-case is that harry passes these little trials of jean's, and they finally sit down and have an actual conversation about everything and clear the air. i don't think it's a pretty conversation, but they (jean mostly) says a lot of things that have needed to be said for a long time. assuming this goes to jean's satisfaction i think they agree- harry gets ONE more chance to stay on jean's good side.
buffered by the few months of jean REALLY hating harry and resenting him and being jealous of his second chance and all that, i think a friendship between them has a better chance to be healthy at this point. harry is ostensibly working on his shitty habits and behaviors, and now harry probably has kim (and possibly others) to talk to, which takes a lot of the burden off jean, because imo one of the biggest issues harry and jean had was a lack of distance. they just couldn't get away from each other, and ended up not wanting to. so now they have an opportunity to keep a healthy buffer and *choose* to engage, which also allows them to step away from one another if things get heated. yes, they'll definitely still clash sometimes, but it's a lot easier to deal with when they can just agree to leave the argument there and not speak until they've gotten over themselves.
the best-case requires harry to do a lot of personal work but assuming he does do it, i do think he and jean could go back to being friends. their new relationship would definitely start off very rocky and tentative- mostly harry is afraid to ruin it again- but given enough time i think harry proves it's for real this time and they can come to actually trust each other and be comfortable around one another.
#there's a lot of capacity for hurt in that first year or so of their new attempt at friendship#no matter what jean just can't get the old harry out of his head#like harry has some kind of crisis and jean's instinct is still 'he's doing this for attention :/'#jean is still in this mindset of 'fuck harry he hurt me so i can hurt him back' and it takes a lot to get him out of it#he's not super comfortable being a shoulder for harry to cry on for a while because he's just holding his breath#waiting for the other shoe to drop. for months he doesn't believe harry is capable of getting better#and he's justified given harry's old attitude but like. post-amnesia harry is a different person#and he can't come to terms with that right away#once harrys earned trust back though theyre menaces.#harry holding jean in the most annoying bear hug on earth like#'hi everyone this is my beeest friend jean he loves me soooooooo much he'd never say anything mean to me'#jean pinches harry as hard as he possibly can like 'let go of me i fucking hate you. fucking moron'#then they go get dinner#thats a minor hc of mine. in their repaired friendship jean stays playfully aggressive towards harry a lot#but harry feels he needs to be a little more careful so doesn't do that much. although he does taunt jean a lot regardless#kiwipost#ACTIVATING MY MENTAL ILLNESS!!!#harry: this is my bestie jean. i made him a friendship bracelet but threw it in the trash#jean: this is my rescue dog harry. i don't kick him as much these days even though i really want to#(they are best friends. jean won't say so)#jean vicquemare#harry du bois#ask#jv meta#hdb meta
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you see, I know I'm a lesbian because
guy approaches me: I am filled with violent intent
sapphic approaches me: š³š¤
#cl talks#this is my sign to go out more#interact with people other than my roommate#i feel like i should illustrate this phenomenon#the people would find it amusing#āit's easier to tell you're attracted to women then it is to tell you're not attracted to menā I am the exact opposite lol#men are boring to me#women hold my attention#but i didn't know those feelings could go beyond admiration or yearning for friendship#for many years#thank you she ra for the gay awakening#literally in late high school š#and even then it took a lot of time going through repressed memories to realize#lesbian#lesbian memes#need to stop yapping
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