#free from failure

[safesthaveninexistence]

It's shocking how I'm free from everything like the list is endless

[lorebird]

In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.

[unsolicited-opinions]

Nobody is immune to propaganda and flattery. Today's example is Nicholas Kristof.

Kristof has won two Pulitzer prizes for journalism and is a columnist for the New York Times. One could be forgiven for hoping that Kristof might be harder to sucker than the average illiberal left campus Hamasnik, but it turns out that speaking to his orientalist, white savior ego and confirming biases is so effective that he'll skip doing *any* basic journalism.

Here's Kristof on 1/31/25, using a Twitter post from Omar Hamad as an example to argue that it is wrong to suggest that Palestinians overwhelmingly support Hamas and the attacks of 10/7/23.

In his post, Hamad shows a copy of a book Kristof co-authored and gives it a glowing review.

Kristof clearly enjoyed the glowing praise and responded by arguing that Omar Hamad shows us how Palestinians are clearly sensitive and tolerant.

To be clear, I'm sure many Palestinians are sensitive and tolerant, but Omar Hamad isn't one of them and this is an ironic way to make the argument.

Here are other tweets from Omar Hamad:

"O God, take the Jews and wash the earth with them and make our land their graves"

"By God, mother, God's victory can only be achieved through blood."

The truth is that neither my family nor I were ever part of Hamas. We lived in Gaza like any other family that did not belong to Hamas. However, I deeply regret that. I regret not being part of October 7, and I regret not firing a rocket at our occupied lands. I regret not killing an Israeli soldier. This regret has been planted within every person in Gaza, even in those who were opposed to Hamas's ideology. You are nothing but bloodthirsty butchers. You could have gained the sympathy of the entire world, but you revealed your true nature, your vile, Nazi- like, bloodstained face. Do not think that just because you hold power now, you are right or eternal, immune to defeat. Let me remind you, in one era, no force was greater than the Mongols, but their time came, and they were defeated. In another period, no one was more powerful than the Nazis, yet they too were defeated. Now, it is you, and I tell you, you will be defeated. If not now, then in the years to come.

Kristof didn't even bother to look up who was heaping this praise on him. He saw the praise, he let his confirmation bias and ego fill in the blanks instead of trying...you know...investingating, reading, looking for supportable facts, questioning sources, examining biases...you know...journalism.

The only thing which makes this example of falling for flattering confirmation bias bait extraordinary is that it's a Pulitzer Prize winner doing it - this is exactly what's happening every minute among the west's far left and we can see their disdain for facts and reason all over social media. Their disregard for intellectual rigor and intellectual honesty is comparable to that of the MAGA dittoheads on the far right.

This the intellectual laziness, these are the unexamined set of biases which animate the anti-Israel campus protestors who wave the flags of Islamist movements like Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis. Movements who would happily murder their useful idiots at Columbia University and Harvard.

They are markedly more susceptible to propaganda which speaks to their white savior views of themselves...than this two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize.

[krakensdottir]

Also something really important I want to point out about Aziraphale's religious trauma.

It's often framed as him being directly abused by Heaven, generally emotionally. And while I don't doubt he's been belittled at points - probably not by Gabriel, the iconic exemplar of the Toxic Positivity boss, but we know how Michael and Uriel etc. can be - it also seems like he's received quite a lot of praise and has generally managed to pull off the appearance of being A Good Angel, or at least a satisfactory one. I don't think, and this is controversial, but I don't think Heaven was usually overtly hard on him.

Because that's not how this kind of cult mentality usually operates. Instead, it teaches you to abuse yourself. Your overseers don't have to directly hurt or insult you if you're so ingrained with fear of failure by the culture you were brought up in that you constantly question yourself as not good enough.

It's not as... satisfying, I guess? As an external abuser being the main issue. But it's a lot more real. At least to me, because I suffered so much anxiety over being 'good' when I was a kid, and it wasn't from direct abuse. It was absorbed from the culture I was surrounded by. I picked it up by osmosis from society at large, and it tormented me. I worried, I doubted, there was a time I literally feared going to Hell. And I wasn't raised strongly religious. My mother certainly treated me as a Good Kid, and never gave even the suggestion that I wasn't. But I felt that way anyway. And it tore me apart. Because internalizing that shit makes it so much harder to fight.

And to be clear at this point, I am not saying Heaven isn't abusive. I just think the nature of its abuse is more subtle and insidious than it's often given credit for. And - this is even harder to accept, but it's true, and it's important - it's not just abusive to Az. All the angels are victims of it. Yes, even Gabriel. The moment he, one of the most powerful forces in Heaven, steps out of line, we see that no one is exempt. Never even mind Muriel, who is literally on the lowest rung of the Heavenly ladder and has probably never been told they're worth anything beyond being, you know, an angel, so at least you're better than humans and demons.

It's a contrast with Crowley, who has long since accepted most (not all, there are definitely some deep issues remaining, but they're nothing like Aziraphale's) of his internal doubts and struggles. His fears are almost entirely external. He doesn't beat himself up if he fucks up. He doesn't have to. There are people happy to beat him up for him. So when things go really bad for him, his instinct is to run. To get out of the way of harm as much as possible.

The fact that Aziraphale is harder on himself than anyone else could be is a vital part of his character. He self-punishes. He self-criticizes. He feels awful every time he breaks the rules in the slightest, even though he isn't usually caught at it. Crowley can find some safety in solitude if he keeps his wits sharp and his head down. Aziraphale can't, because he carries Heaven's conditioning with him at all times. He doesn't need oversight, it doesn't take external threats to keep him in line. You don't need direct threats when literally everyone in your celestial workplace has seen firsthand the consequences of rebellion.

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Again, this is informed by personal experience and I can't claim to be unbiased. But I see so much internalization with Aziraphale. He literally can't even accept praise without being nervous as hell, and I don't think it's fear of punishment or ridicule that's his primary motivation. He simply cannot ever be good enough for himself.

That's how they get you.

Anyway, I think it's why his reaction to disaster is the opposite to Crowley's, why he feels he has to turn and face it and somehow avert the horror (or, alternatively, find some way to reconcile it in his head and accept it - because let's be real, that's often what happens) rather than get himself away. He's less afraid of failing his superiors than he is of failing himself. And God, who is, objectively, the biggest abuser in the entire story.

[juniper-clan]

Sorry I haven’t posted recently! I’m burnt out from chugging through the last moon so I’ll be taking a week long break until after Easter.

[afterthelambs]

"Silco didn't create Jinx, you did" lives in my mind rent free because throughout season 1, Vi has been convincing herself that Silco is the obstacle preventing her from getting Powder back. She's traumatized and guilt-ridden. When Vi is traumatized, she simplifies things as a response. She has to believe that getting her sister back is that simple. But when Silco is finally dead, Powder doesn't come back to her. In fact Silco's death is what solidifies Jinx's decision to be Jinx (the complete Jinx aka Jinx + Powder, not the broken version of her that she tried to erase Powder from).

And that's likely why Vi switches on her so quickly. By the time season 2 starts she's fully on board with Piltover wanting to kill Jinx and when she confronts her in ep.3 she says Powder is dead and they're not sisters anymore. Which is wild considering just a few days ago she was reassuring her that they'll always be sisters.

I think Vi meant all of it. At the time she really did want Caitlyn and the enforcers to kill Jinx. But that's because she's still just as traumatized and guilt-ridden as she was before. She can't deal with the fact that Jinx herself is the real reason she can never get Powder back. And as I said, Vi simplifies things as a trauma response. However if they had actually succeeded in killing Jinx, I think Vi would live in regret and self-hatred forever. What someone wants when they're traumatized and hurt is not what they want forever, and Vi does love her sister.

[deoidesign]

.

[sclfcare]

𖥨 ̟⊹ ♡ mutuals only ! open to f / nb !

" i'm sorry i don't like hearing you gushing over what's - his - fuckin' - face . " ─── " why are you even still with him ? too embarrassed to tell mommy and daddy you're actually in love with a fuck up like me instead ? "

[icharchivist]

the artbook saying they planned on having Cole in da4 to give a compassionate voice wanting to help Solas navigate through his pain and supporting him in front of Rook and the companions, only for the final product to literally just be "bashing Solas hours because he's such a loser for always being alone and he's to blame for literally everything (rightfully so or not)" just fills me with an intense sorrow i will never recover from.

[happytyrantsubmarine]

no one will understand me for this sorry 💔💔💔

[dreamerdrop]

corruption arcs are seductive because there is always going to be something deeply compelling about being given permission to become the worst version of yourself, to be allowed to revel in your anger and lesser urges, to be allowed to just stop caring about doing the right thing and give in to every violent bitter fantasy for cruelty and revenge that has ever flitted through your mind.

my personal favourite flavour of corruption involves the person being corrupted becoming so terrible that they begin to terrify the person who was trying to corrupt them in the first place, and ending with the corrupter being murdered by the same person they thought they could turn into a monster and then somehow still control.

redemption arc post murder is optional, of course.

[memento-morri-writes]

More dnd writing because it's all I have but I here's a snippet from a vignette I did of Rook's past (from Zara's POV), because Rook and his mentors never fails to make me sick (/pos).

[transcript under the cut]

Taking a coin out of her pocket, she rolled it across her knuckles, back and forth. It gave her hands something to do, and prevented the urge to bite her nails, something she hadn’t done in years. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Zara began to pace as Rook’s breathing grew shakier and the color drained from his skin. Where the hells is Jay? she wondered. The room was so quiet that she could hear every tick of the small clock on her bedside table, and each one echoed in her head. How many ticks does he have left? She didn’t want to think about it.  She’d had crew members die before, of course. You don’t go as many years as a captain as she had and never lose a soul. But all the others who had died had died quickly, in combat. She’d mourned for all of them, even shed tears in private, but there was something different about watching the life drain out of a person right in front of your eyes.

[dorianbrightmusic]

New level of nerd unlocked: successfully guessing the medical plot twist in a House episode due to recognising one of the meds mentioned, and noticing the obvious off-label use they'd 'overlooked'.

(Season 2 episode 10 spoilers)

House is out of town, leaving the team to handle a thrillseeking journalist who suddenly can't form a sentence. The patient's medical history includes dangerous drug use (officially, he's clean, but everybody lies), but he's never had neurological issues before this.

When the team can't work out what's causing the aphasia, Foreman and Chase break into his office and his home, where they find 3 things:. First, an unfinished DIY home reno project, which is used as evidence of the man's impulsivity. Second, caffeine and amphetamine, meaning that he's using them to wake up. Third, topiramate – an epilepsy medication. Since the patient has no neuro history, he must be using it off-label – Chase guesses that it's for weight loss.

However, if you take into account the patient's issues with impulsivity and sleep, we can see that the other off-label indication of topiramate is much more likely. Said use is as a mood stabiliser – and sure enough, at the end of the episode, House correctly guesses that the patient has bipolar disorder (which, due to a sequence of related events, allows him to guess the cause of the aphasia).

That said: it is very contrived that Foreman and Chase wouldn't have thought of this – Foreman, in particular, is a neurologist, so should really know about one of the most common off-label uses of a drug in his specialty. So as much as the writing in this episode is, in many ways, VERY satisfying (all the parallels and thematic stuff), I'd argue that Foreman and Chase were only ignorant to this use of topiramate because the plot said we needed House Ex Machina at the end of the episode. (House Ex Machina, for the record, solely by virtue of Stupidity Ex Machina on the Medical Malpractice Scooby Gang's part.)

Also, really not sure if it's thaaaat accurate with the stuff about bipolar disorder mood states following time of day, or thaaaat respectful with the twist being 'man with vilified disorder is lying to his wife'. This is House, so I'm not expecting accurate mental illness. And this is the 'everybody lies' show, so 'patient is concealing another psychological issue' is par for the course of an episode. Even so, uhhhhhhh. I know the journalist is meant to be sympathetic, and I know that in relationships, we often do want to conceal our mental illnesses, or make futile efforts to rid ourselves of symptoms that we're refusing to learn to live with. So perhaps there's something to be said for it exploring that issue. Mixed feelings...

[mars-ipan]

Those replies just made me remember this:

Anxiety really thinks we live in a world that works this way lmao

———————

i really enjoy that you could have just submitted the normal john mulaney delta airlines bit but you instead went out of your way to send me an sdr2 version. thank you

[apollos-olives]

i hate going to the masjid because it's fr crazy how ignorant other arabs and muslims are about palestine. like their political beliefs are so unbelievably stupid it's as if they don't even give a fuck about palestine (and they don't). arabs cannot give a fuck about countries other than theirs and it shows. today i literally had to sit there and listen to a syrian tell me how joe biden can't do anything and it's not his fault. like wow. you are the disease.

[polysaur]

“Is something the matter?”