#.and to free themselves from the need of love from someone who will only ever hurt them.
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friendly reminder that the word 'vegetable', used about human beings, is an ableist slur. regardless of whether you consider the specific human beings in question to have thoughts, feelings, sensations or anything, it has been used against people with brain injuries, intellectual disabilities, high support needs autism, and other categories I'm not immediately recollecting. there are better words you can use to describe those who do not appear to have thoughts, feelings or sensation. I wanted to add a smiley face but decided that looked passive aggressive, so I didn't.
you use the number 24 weeks. we've saved babies down to ... 21-something, iirc? maybe it's down to 20 weeks now, I forget. but anyway, regardless... I was born twenty-two years ago at 26-something weeks. that's not very long after when you're advocating for abortion. yes, in that situation every day is a big difference developmentally, I'm aware. but I'm just pointing out that there isn't a great deal of difference in time.
nobody should ever being suicide baited. full stop. like, suicide is not a thing that should exist, and no, not even for that person. whoever that person is to you. telling someone they should kill themselves is something that ought to be unthinkable. it also speaks to something really sad in your character, I think. do you need a hug? do you need someone to talk to? hate is such a difficult emotion to feel that strongly! maybe you need a break? I get that you feel strongly, and it makes sense but at the same time, it's okay to take breaks even from things you're passionate about, especially if they're causing such extreme reactions. the world will not fall to ruin if one person takes a couple of weeks or even longer off the internet. please take care of yourself, you're the only you we've got.
also, to say that pro life men want free rein to rape children is a profoundly weird take and says something very strange about your views of people, honestly. it concerns me a bit. again, please consider disconnecting and considering your opinions.
I feel like this is going to come across as condescending or patronising, and I'm really sorry about that - it's not my intent at all, I'm just worried, you know? I want people to take care and be gentle with themselves and be safe and kind and remember they're loved. I'm being as sincere as I know how right now.
also the original post is quite nasty and I think you should seek professional help to deal with these emotions. even though it's bound to be a bait post, the idea that you would actually say this, even as a joke, is worrying. OP, please take care and think about the fact that there are human beings on the other side of the debate and screen.
I think all pro-lifers should be raped, forced to have the baby (no exceptions), and become forced to raise it for 18-20 years just to see how it feels
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dreamerdrop · 17 hours ago
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corruption arcs are seductive because there is always going to be something deeply compelling about being given permission to become the worst version of yourself, to be allowed to revel in your anger and lesser urges, to be allowed to just stop caring about doing the right thing and give in to every violent bitter fantasy for cruelty and revenge that has ever flitted through your mind.
my personal favourite flavour of corruption involves the person being corrupted becoming so terrible that they begin to terrify the person who was trying to corrupt them in the first place, and ending with the corrupter being murdered by the same person they thought they could turn into a monster and then somehow still control.
redemption arc post murder is optional, of course.
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gor3sigil · 7 months ago
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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.
It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
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loveesiren · 1 month ago
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𝖡𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝖭𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗆𝖺𝗋𝖾
Thanos x American!reader
a/n: hi my babies! so this is my first thanos (choi su-bong) fic i'm posting. however, i kind of wrote this as an aftermath of a little series i've been working on of them in the games. so, once i am done hating it and editing it, i will posit it! but i hope you guys enjoy this cute lil fluff. i suck at writing fluff tbh but i tried! xx also, t.o.p is my gwiyomiii, my honeyyyy, my angel babyyyyyyyyy! i'm so inlove with him so feel free to send requests!
synopsis: nightmares of the games still haunt Thanos a year later, but luckily Y/n will never leave his side.
warnings: language, fluff, very brief mention of sex if you squint
wc: 1.1k+
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You couldn’t sleep. Insomnia had wrapped itself around your mind ever since surviving the games last year, a constant shadow in your otherwise bright new life. You had so much to be grateful for—making it out alive, the money that had saved you in more ways than one, and, of course, Su-Bong. Though, to this day, you still called him T. Your T.
Never in a million years would you have imagined living in a sleek penthouse in downtown Seoul with a man you fell in love with while playing deadly children’s games. Yet here you were, in a world that once seemed as unreachable as a dream: Thanos’ World. And you loved it.
The games had changed Thanos in ways you never thought possible. He quit the drugs, buried his oversized ego, and spent six months holed up in his apartment with only you for company. It was a metamorphosis you never expected but cherished deeply. When he finally emerged from that cocoon of self-reflection, he returned to music—his first true love. But this time, it wasn’t about sex, drugs, and wealth. His lyrics delved into the rawness of his childhood, the pain of his struggles, the weight of his dreams—and you. Always you. You were his muse.
Being with the Thanos, however, was far from simple. Going out with him was an ordeal, a gamble. Fans flocked to him wherever he went, now more than ever, since he’d announced his new album. He once thrived on the chaos, basking in the adoration of women throwing themselves at him and men idolizing him. He was a star, and he reveled in the glow. But now? Now the attention suffocated him. He avoided crowded places as much as he could, especially when you were by his side.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to show you off—God, he did. But the fear gnawed at him. What if something happened to you? What if someone hurt you? You’d already faced your fair share of vitriol when the media leaked that Thanos was dating some American girl. “American bitch,” they’d called you, throwing their venom your way in tabloids and comment sections. But the hate didn’t break you. If anything, it hardened your resolve.
You refused to let him hide away forever. When his anxiety tried to keep him tethered to the penthouse, you were the one who dragged him out into the world. You reminded him of what life outside these walls could offer, even if it wasn’t always kind. And slowly, piece by piece, you were helping him reclaim it.
You glanced over at Thanos, his peaceful face softened by sleep, his arm draped lazily over your bare thighs. Carefully, you lifted his arm and slipped out of bed, moving quietly so as not to disturb him. Padding toward the kitchen, you glanced at the clock: 2:30 a.m. Another sleepless night. You sighed, the weight of endless insomnia pressing down on you.
You set the kettle to boil, deciding tea wouldn’t cut it tonight. The staleness of the room felt suffocating. What you needed was air. Before stepping out to the balcony, you peeked into the bedroom again, reassured by the steady rise and fall of Thanos’ chest.
The view of Seoul stretched before you as you stepped outside. The city pulsed with quiet energy, its lights casting a warm glow against the dark sky. The faint scent of cherry blossoms drifted through the breeze, mingling with the night air and brushing your hair across your face. This view, this life—it was something you’d never take for granted.
Pulling out your phone, you typed a quick message to Se-mi.
y/n: You up?
Minutes passed before your phone buzzed with a reply.
Se-mi: Yeah. Can’t sleep?
y/n: The insomnia is never-ending.
Se-mi: I miss when we all lived together.
Your lips curved into a bittersweet smile. Memories of those first fragile weeks after escaping the games flooded your mind. The four of you—Thanos, Se-mi, Min-su, and you—crammed into your tiny apartment, clinging to each other for sanity. For weeks, you barely left the safety of those walls. Eventually, Thanos invited everyone to move in with him, but Se-mi and Min-su had decided it was time to go back to their families. The games had taught them how precious life was. That, and your shared space wasn’t exactly conducive to privacy—especially with how loud things could get between you and Thanos when you couldn’t keep your hands off of eachother.
y/n: I miss it too. I miss you. Shopping tomorrow?
Se-mi: You know I hate shopping.
y/n: But you love me, and T gave me his black card.
Se-mi: Spoiled brat.
y/n: See you tomorrow 🥰
Se-mi: Can’t wait ✌🏼
You smiled at her response, warmth spreading through you at the thought of reconnecting with your best friend. But the moment of peace was shattered by a sound from inside—faint whimpers carried through the air. Your heart clenched. Setting your tea down, you hurried back to the bedroom.
“T?” you called softly as you stepped inside.
No response. Only the faint cries that sent chills down your spine. You rushed to the bedside table and flicked on the lamp. Thanos was thrashing slightly, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands grasping desperately at the empty space where you should have been.
“Fuck! NO!” he suddenly screamed, his voice hoarse with panic.
“T!” you gasped, climbing onto the bed and pulling him into your arms. “T, baby…” you murmured, your voice gentle but firm. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
His hand found your shirt, bunching the fabric in his fist as though clinging to reality. He fought against the demons clawing at him, his breaths ragged and uneven. Finally, his eyes fluttered open, glassy and unfocused at first, until they locked onto yours. His lip quivered as shame filled his expression.
“Hi, baby,” you whispered, brushing your thumb tenderly across his cheek to wipe away the tears. “You’re okay. I’m here.”
“Fuck…” he sighed, his voice trembling as he buried his face in your shirt. His shame was palpable, but you held him tightly, cradling him as though the weight of his nightmares could be eased by your embrace.
“Another nightmare?” you asked softly. He nodded wordlessly, slipping his hand into yours. He hated these moments. Hated the way his past still haunted him, dragging you into his darkness. But you didn’t mind. You’d made a decision long ago: this man was worth every struggle, every sleepless night. Some may say a few days isn’t enough time to know who is your person, but when your life is on the line, time has a way of fast-tracking love.
“M’sorry…” he mumbled, his voice muffled against your chest.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, T,” you reassured him, your fingers running soothingly through his hair. “You know I’ll always be right here.”
“Promise?” His voice was barely above a whisper, raw and vulnerable.
You kissed his forehead, tightening your arms around him. “Promise,” you said, and you meant it with every fiber of your being.
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© loveesiren 2025 - do not copy, translate, transfer, or repost my work without my permission. if you find my work on sites other than through links i've provided, please notify me.
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chaoticclownage · 9 months ago
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"I didn't realize you think so low of me."
God like I usually HATE the miscommunication trope with a fiery passion because typically it's something painfully obvious that could've easily been avoided and is usually a pointless stressor to elongate the plot but the way it's done with Stolitz is so real like this isn't tiresome tropey miscommunication, it's real world miscommunication. It's a very real scenario that is as complicated as it plays itself to be and it's so well done actually. Like, the perspectives the characters have are completely different because they're individuals with problems and experiences that have formed different views on themselves and the world around them and it's caused this major rift in how they view things. Stolas is a bleeding heart who has always been an honest individual and he doesn't treat his royal status as something to lord over others and tries his hardest to be as free of it as he can despite his obligations, meanwhile Blitz is an imp who has had a rough life and views himself as lowly, as something not deserving of love, as someone that someone like Stolas with all his wealth and power wouldn't ever spare a glance at romantically. Blitz's view is so tainted by his own self-deprecating view of himself and his self-sabotaging nature that he drives Stolas away because he can't even entertain the idea that Stolas would ever genuinely love him.
All up until the moment Stolas has to throw his feelings in Blitz's face and be as vulnerable as he can and say it to him straight. Which is painful. Even for an honest person. What Stolas did is so incredibly difficult for anyone to do because of how raw of an action it is. That level of openness with someone you aren't sure is going to be accepting of it is like trusting someone with a gun pointed at your head not to shoot. This kind of miscommunication isn't just an easy fixup or something that could've been avoided, nor was it unessesary for the plot. It IS the plot. The divergence of their characters and how those two experiences and their flaws clash with one another is the driving narrative here. Stolas being brave enough to let go of the rope he'd given up everything to hold on to, because it was hurting him. Blitz realizing what he was losing and how he was wrong. And Blitz being seconds away from apologizing after he got hit with the reality check he needed only to end up seconds too late.
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2kiran · 10 months ago
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BOYYYYY THE MILKMAN SMUT WAS SO GOOD. care for another one? i NEED to fuck the real francis mosses now…i’m imagining the doppelgänger being jealous asf of him too ouuujhhhh
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FRANCIS MOSSES 交易 ── `` DARK CONTENT﹕nonconsensual voyeurism. top amab reader. doppelgänger francis is watching, real one doesn’t know it. dry humping. clothed sex. different timeline from prev fic. ✶ IN WHICH francis wants to be more than just a neighbor.
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for who to blame, you don’t permit yourself to think. francis, the lovely neighbor, is propped on your lap. poor man was flustered, sweat gathering on his skin like a coat. gullible; and so unaware. entirely dumb of the fact that his doppelgänger was gazing upon the scene through the crack of your bedroom door. you could almost imagine the creature’s expression, twisted in envy.
your palms cupping his hips, which are erratically pressing themselves against you. chasing after the friction he craved during the in-between’s of his working hours, pent up frustrations translating into insatiable sexual desire.
“gosh, ‘m sorry... hnngh, needed to feel you against me.” his teeth grit with a whine, tucking his head to your shoulder. effectively obscuring his ever burning pit of shame which laid heavily in his gut.
supposedly, you were to help him of deliveries as a noble—not only a doorman but as well a—citizen. however, you were not put in a situation to complain whilst he clutched onto you as he switched to tantalizing grinds. “couldn’t wait anymore, hm?”
words a tease, he could feel himself losing track of the rhythm. sloppy and unexperienced; though not enough to be labeled as someone so pure from filth. “please,” the doppelgänger’s eyebrows wrinkled with disgust at the actual francis’ plea.
“please, i, mm,” and the milkman is at a loss for words.
the creature, despite his apparent hatred, palmed his cock within the confines of his pants. fuck, his tip was leaking with pre-cum that without a doubt painted his length in a creamy tone.
he was ablaze with jealousy while you got your dick wet with the one whose identity he attempted to steal. “say it.” the commanding quality of your voice left no room for objections that even he felt the obligation to speak his thoughts.
“can- can i take off your pants? i want you inside me..” what a darling francis mosses was.
a humming released from your sealed lips; he waits. “not completely,” he’s confused until you pull the zipper, freeing your cock from the side and his shyness returns. “better?”
francis nods, cheeks warmed at the scenery. the doppelgänger despised that. “i’m ready, did it myself this morning.” he sheepishly mumbles, releasing himself of his lower garments. “did you plan this?”
it’s taken as an accusation. “no!” could’ve been an exclaim if he wasn’t so breathless in effort of aligning his hole to your tip, “but i’ve... imagined it, you know. keep myself awake to— oh fuck.”
an inch, then a second, and now you’re void of a clue. rewarding yourself with the relief of triumph of the theory that he would feel a lot better than the copy; he is.
if you were to say that aloud, you’re sure the targeted one would be angry enough to keep you from finding your release.
francis’ thighs lay atop of yours, warming your cock with his sensitive walls. he tries to lift himself up, only to realize he was incapable. energy spent due to the earlier attempts. you are met with a whimper, a look in his eye, and the trembling of his lips.
the other tenants are certain to file a complaint.
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masterlist﹒divider﹒artist kaworinx
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sailorblossoms-rankane · 4 months ago
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We know Ranma falls first and hard, so what about Akane? When does it start? unlike Ranma, I think it's a couple of things adding up in the background... and why wouldn't it start... here? walk with me
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Doctor Tofu is kind to Akane, but I'd say the main reason she had a crush on him was: he was the one male figure outside of her family who made her feel safe. Taking care of her injuries would feel like a form of protection, and Akane wants to feel protected.
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It's not just that Akane shows her fiery personality in fights... I recently noticed that while other fighters can show themselves cool and confident in the face of danger (like Ranma). But with Akane, she fights as if she never feels safe in a fight, you can see it. Even when she's the strongest and is winning every morning...
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Winning every day could have made her approach these guys looking more "confident" or "relaxed," but she's never relaxed. She always sends Kuno flying, but notice how there's an air of uneasiness (even if she sees him as a buffoon) that doesn't disappear until Ranma comes into the picture.
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Ranma showing up as a girl helps Akane relax and reach out as she's too used to being harassed by guys (so she keeps her distance). But even if she finds out his secret in the worst way, she doesn't beat his ass until he's picking on her.
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Akane is the one offering the friendly match (connection) but Ranma is also doing something likely no one has ever done with her before: he's being soft, maybe even tender, with her... making her relax. he's making her feel safe (Ranma doesn't fight any other girl like this)
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The bathroom incident makes her feel afraid, but when boy Ranma shows himself again, it's clear by the way she stops any attempt of violence to study him (and argue childishly) that the fear is gone. She's tested in the worst way (a way that plays into her worst fears about men, which is hard to shake)... but this tells you she still feels safe, even if she doesn't realize it.
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If someone like Kuno had made fun of her proportions, Akane would've beaten him up and moved on. The fact that she's still thinking about it long after the fact tells you he's already stirring something (it's even connected with Ranma thinking about her because he too is also feeling something)
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Part of Ranma "falling first" is that he sees her best very straightforwardly from the get-go (and is confused after). With Akane, she isn't even sure of what she's seeing, she's still dealing with her complicated feelings connected to the doc and constant harassment... but she's already interested.
It's obvious that Akane lives rent-free 24/7 in Ranma's head from the moment he meets her, but Akane is not exactly unaffected. It isn't accurate to say he only annoys her at this stage. She pays attention, confides with him, worries, goes after/covers for him... that's interest
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You need to pull a rope from both ends to create tension.
Romantic tension requires both parties to feel something, and they already have plenty when Akane tries to help Ranma, and he is protecting her during the fight against Ryoga. Even if she still hasn't sorted out her old crush...
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Akane wishes for and values normalcy (she actually has a life) but she only feels normal when compared to the clowns that arrive after Ranma. It's clear by the way her classmates see her that she's an extraordinary girl...
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She loves martial arts, but doesn't have the sort of ambitions the insane fighters around Ranma have. She sees it more as a fun outlet, comparable to having a favorite sport. She only holds on to power when someone pisses her off (spite lol) but always chooses normalcy over it
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Ranma brings both craziness and safety into her life. You can really see that with Kuno and the guys challenging her: Akane is comfortable supporting Ranma as he navigates the craziness around him, but she isn't comfortable when SHE is at the center of it
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Ranma either stands by her side during the madness or straight-up redirects the focus on him (starting from the moment Kuno throws that rose to Akane and Ranma is immediately by her side, ending taking the challenge against Kuno himself). Akane might complain about Ranma "fighting her fights" here, but she quickly gives in to his protection (unless someone is pissing her off... spite, she's just like me fr etc)
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In true gag fashion, when Ranma picks on her for her attention, he’s both giving her an outlet and making fighting, which she connected to danger and harassment, a very safe and childish thing. It allows her to relax in a way she hasn’t before he meets him.
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When Ranma complimenting her smiles gets to her to the point she's still thinking about it hours after, or that Ranma essentially saying he likes her better as her true self makes her genuinely happy... it doesn't come out of nowhere. She's already been feeling something for him
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st-dionysus · 6 months ago
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(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW
It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.
I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.
I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.
I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.
I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.
Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.
T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.
I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.
I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.
I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.
I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.
I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.
I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.
No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.
I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.
I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.
I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.
I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.
I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.
My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.
It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?
A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.
I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.
I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.
Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.
I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.
I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.
Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.
Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.
Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.
Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?
Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.
I puke and miss the toilet.
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temis-de-leon · 4 months ago
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He has a nightmare where he rejected you
Characters: Solomon and Simeon (x gn!reader, separately)
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4
Main Masterlist
CW: spoilers for Simeon's character development in the OG game (I haven't played NB yet).
A/N: brace yourselves for Simeon's part because I still can't write him.
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Solomon – He will inevitably lose you
From all the things he thought he would miss when he reached immortality, being able to remember his exact age wasn’t one of them; and yet, there was the regret.
He tells himself is not that deep; that reaching the thousands is already an impressive achievement, but lying to himself has its limits.
Maybe, if he hadn’t been so occupied tracking demons of interest and travelling the realms in search of knowledge, he would’ve had the time to keep score and be aware of just how long he had been roaming amongst the rest of his kind.
Maybe, if those who cared for him stayed longer than their perishable bodies allowed, someone would’ve been there to remind him.
And there were only so many burials he could attend before finally throwing the towel and accepting the emotional safety of solely seeking the company of immortals like him.
But then, centuries later, the human exchange program happens and you make him feel like reuniting with an old friend, even if you’ve never met before.
So he listens to experience.
So he remembers all those funerals he’d attended in the past; all those faces lost to time and inevitable death.
You’re way too enticing to ignore and of course, there’s the need to protect the fellow human surrounded by demons (never mind he acts like one too), but he knows how to stay occupied and at a distance, keeping his feelings at bay.
Casual friendship is the limit he willingly stops at.
He knows that if he allows himself to accept and reciprocate your love, the only important number in his life wouldn’t be his age anymore, but the day he’d inevitably lose you forever.
Tears pooled in his eyes as a violent coughing fit made him bend over, lungs pushing themselves up his throat in an attempt to escape from the stench and the toxic effects of the room’s atmosphere.
Ventilation.
He needed to open the windows.
It was like a cloud had entered his laboratory; a dense, humid fog that barely covered the furniture and crushed against the walls like a rot-smelling milky tide.
Still, Solomon wasn’t sure whether his tears were caused by the abnormal air around him or that unpleasant nightmare he just had.
Although he tried not to think about it, especially the heartbroken expression on your face, the scene did nothing more but repeat in his mind. His words and reasoning carried some logic, yet he couldn’t imagine a universe where that would’ve ever happened.
He enjoyed risks and danger but had never been masochist enough to deny himself of your company; on the contrary, the sole idea of spending time with you was usually a strong motivation to finish his work quickly and make some free time in his schedule, so rejecting being your lover was the strangest and unlikeliest idea he could’ve ever had.
Making that damn potion sure was another one.
Ironically, it was supposed to be a gift for you to use with him as a bonding couple activity, a concoction he had been experimenting on for days to use as introspection into your relationship. His original intention was to glimpse into your possible futures and even your alternative pasts, to see which other ways you had fallen in love with each other; not to witness a rejection.
Had that happened, then? In another timeline? Or had that nightmare been a fragment of his sad imagination?
Thankfully, the air inside the laboratory started to purify the moment he opened the window. He felt his thoughts return to rational and realistic as the fresh breeze of the Devildom night hit him right in his face. The fog, icy and moist, slithered around him and past the window into the darkness, dissipating and completely disappearing from his line of sight. However, behind him, the potion was still bubbling and rattling the cauldron, threatening to throw it to the ground.
Was it the measurements? The temperature of the fire? The direction of the stirring?
Trial and error; success didn’t come one’s way by dumb luck.
With a flick of the wrist and a sour scowl, he magically extinguished the overworked flames and threw the dangerous mixture down the drain.
It would be better to leave his experiment alone for a few more days, though. Perhaps even a week. That would be enough time for him to forget the dreadful nightmare, or at least try to do so. Until then, he’d leave the windows open, hoping the scattered fog didn’t affect any unsuspecting creature on the street, and close the laboratory under lock and key.
Solomon would buy you flowers and sweets and each good thing you deserved in life until the day came when he could give you something better.
Trial and error.
Simeon – The consequences could be fatal
You see.
He lived through the cautionary tale, a horrific incident that affected everyone involved, so he is painfully aware of how any potential intimacy between you two could end.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be like that, of course, but he knows that if he gets to love you, he’ll take risks and chances. Everything you could ever need, Simeon would give you, and not even the pearly gates of the Celestial Realm would be enough to stop him.
Lillith’s treason against their home in favour of her human lover would repeat in his hands if the situation required it.
His love runs deep and he knows so from the very first moment he sees you.
Although, at first, there isn’t anything extraordinary about your friendship.
He still appreciates it. It’s a carefree arrangement, for lack of a better word, light and kind in nature, and it helps him ease into the Devildom in a way he didn’t think existed.
You hang out sometimes, mostly because of Luke and his strong angelic need to protect your pure human soul, and you study together every once in a while, but your shared time isn’t enough to spark the flames of romantic attraction.
It’s easier to let you go when you have seven demanding demons trailing behind you like lost puppies; an amusing sight and a welcomed one.
And still, you choose him.
Why?
Is it his gentle demeanour? Or the determination shining underneath? Is it because he’s so different from the brothers, who show no remorse in admitting their darkest desires regarding their love for you?
He feels forced to reject you and he does as such, basking in the reassurance that you’ll both keep your friendship intact.
Don’t be mistaken; he loves you as well, but he doesn’t feel like that love belongs to the angel he used to be.
It was a melodic sound what woke him up, a tune he recognized as a warning coming from his new laptop.
Frowning and groaning in discomfort, Simeon brushed his hair away from his forehead and tried to rub off the imprints left on his skin by the keyboard. The document in front of him was full of random letters and numbers, no wonder a product of his unconsciously moving head, and a message on the screen asked for his authorization to carry out some type of order.
He didn’t quite fully understand what it asked, so, as per your usual requests, he closed the laptop and kept it inside his backpack.
Now at least he had a reason to visit you.
Not like he needed one, but the brothers, especially Lucifer, tended to leave you both alone more frequently if there was.
Thinking about them made the nightmare reappear and remain fresh in his mind, but somehow, surprisingly, it didn’t bother him as much as It should’ve. While the aspect of rejecting you hurt his heart in a special way, he knew he ultimately didn’t do it and chose the better option; but it was everything else what was stopping him from forgetting about it before leaving to see you.
He was changing, wasn’t he? It wasn’t your fault, you were merely an adding factor, but the truth was undeniable.
No longer the angel he used to be and neither a human, there were parts of himself he couldn’t keep ignoring. The darkness within that could compete with a demon’s, Lord Diavolo’s inability to read him as fast as he would anyone else and his willingness to bend the rules he had been taught should you ever need him to.
Lillith’s presence is blurry in his memories after so many years, but he would never be able to fully forget her; how could he ever do that? She fell in love and risked what she had and what she was to preserve it, although it ended in tragedy.
And still, he understood her.
Solomon’s and Luke’s voices reached him from the living room, bringing him back to reality. Besides his slow breathing and an unclosed faucet, the bathroom was otherwise silent. Droplets of water ran down his face like tears, but his eyes were dry and hardened by his thoughts. His reflection in the mirror seemed tired and he dreaded how his actual appearance might look. You would ask about it, no doubt, but what would he answer? He didn’t even know the full truth himself.
Glimpses of self-reflection and fragments of a realistic nightmare weren’t enough to dissipate your worries, so it’d be better for everyone if he kept hiding, at least for the moment.
Sweet actions and sweet words shielded by the honest love he felt for you.
The truth would come out eventually, but, until then, let the nightmares remain a mere fragment of his world-renowned imagination.
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Taglist: @ilovecandys2010 @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom @books-and-catears
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msmysticfail · 1 year ago
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Venus in the houses
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✩Venus in the 7th house✩
Venus in the 7th care a lot about the other person, other people are a source of emotional wealth for them. They love to take care of their loved ones, always remembering everything the other person likes. They are people who need to be in a romantic relationship of some sort to feel fulfilled and happy, which is why when a relationship breaks over they can start another one soon after, which is easy for them as they have a bunch of admirers, as they are beautiful, pleasant people. Many people like them, whether romantically or not. They have trouble, however, sharing the "bad" emotions and thoughts they feel about the relanshionship they are in. They don't want fights, they don't want to discuss unpleasant things; that's why they need to develop this skill: to vocalize what's making them uncomfortable, as it can harm their relationship if they keep this desire to always try to keep things harmonious, even when things are obviously not working. This is the type of people who loves to be well-groomed, to smell good, to be fashion and beautiful. They are sociable, they are always receiving friends at home, giving dinners, going out, having a pleasant time. It's hard not to like them, they usually win you over in such a subtle and gentle way that you will generally only have good opinions about them. It's important that they stop worrying so much about what others will think of them, try to stop living in search of people's approval. If they manage to balance this approval need they will be able to shine even brighter.
✩Venus in the 8th house✩
This Venus is addicted to love, passion. They are intense, their love goes deep, when they give themselves to love, they give their soul, everything. Their love is wonderful, you will feel exclusive, this Venus's attention will be completely focused on you, which is why they are very loyal, they rarely cheat. They are possessive, when they take possession of something they will hardly let it go, but when they are finally forced to let go, they go through a complete process of catharsis, going to the bottoms of their soul, suffering pain intensely, just to emerge from the ashes after, stronger than ever, beautiful and magnetic like a phoenix. This is a Venus who receives money very easily from others, people trust them with their money. It also attracts a lot of financial investment from others, since the 8th house talks about the support that others give us, and it's very easy for them to get loans, in general. However, don't mess with this Venus, she will take revenge and come out on top. Their love is like a hidden treasure, it's precious and rare, to access it you need to surrender completely. Extremely magnetic, they know how to attract what they want. They also need constant intimate physical contact, as that's where they find their greatest source of emotional satisfaction.
✩Venus in the 9th house✩
This Venus needs freedom, for them it's very important to feel that they can act or do what pleases them without having to explain themselves or give in to the other person expectations. If they feel suffocated or trapped they'll start to distance themselves, until they are completely "free" of the other person. They love studying. They love improving their knowledge: their mind, their soul. They love getting to know other cultures, studying about them, their customs and cuisine. They have a strong desire to travel and generally their preferred destination is abroad, somewhere outside their country. This Venus points their arrow very far away, perhaps they want to date someone from outside their country, someone different, who offers challenge and mental stimulation. It's a Venus who also has many admirers, mainly for their beauty and intelligence, but they generally don't pay much attention to it, despite the fact that, if someone is intelligent enough, if someone can match their intellectual level, they will probably fall intensely in love. They have a certain tendency to idealize relationships because the ninth house talks about the field of ideas, the mental, which is why they spend more time imagining the relationship than actually experiencing it in the reality. They are usually always taking some course to complement their career or they are always traveling.
✩Venus in the 10th house✩
Here Venus shines like no other, as it has reached the highest house of the zodiac. They have a love for the beautiful, the aesthetics, they love to beautify things, whether it's a job they do, or treating others in a harmonious way. They will always deliver the best of they can, as they are very demanding of themselves. Their beauty is cold, calculated, they know exactly where they want to go and radiating their natural charm they slowly conquer everything their heart desires. They are very friendly, they really care about others, like a Venus in the 7th house. They shine in their work, winning the favor of their colleagues and the attention of their superiors; but this is also where they attract the envy of others, as they definitely do more than most of the people around them. This Venus needs to know that the path to the top is narrow and alone, so they should not let be affected when people threaten to leave them. They may find love at work, or they may love what they do very much. They know what they are doing, especially when it comes to their career and life, they don't really need advice. When they decide to love someone, that person will usually stay in their life and heart for a very, very long time, even if they eventually break up.
✩Venus in the 11th house✩
This Venus loves society and society also loves them. They are loved by a very large number of people. They are that type of person who will donate their money to charities, who will help those most in need, who will take care of street animals. They really care about the collective, about people, they will stop what they are doing just to listen when someone needs it. They care about other people's lives, what their problems are. They're very stylish, they usually have their own style and they really don't care whether it's aesthetically beautiful or not, whether it pleases others or not. They are certainly intelligent, they easily understand how society works, being able to see invisible structures and offer help in some way, always trying to improve the lives of people in their community. The only problem that can occur with this Venus is paying more attention to social issues than to the private life of their relationships, which can and will undermine the relationship itself, so it's necessary to seek balance. They love to go out, they are always on the street, almost never stopping at home. They love being in touch with art, culture, politics. It's a Venus who will love going to cafes, discussing books and talking about the community/society in general. When in love they are not so attached, they prefer to date friends, people who share some type of fraternity and camaraderie. Their loved ones cannot hold them back or try to label them in fixed, closed terms. They may not be so interested in romantic love itself, but rather the feeling of connection and understanding between two individuals.
✩Venus in the 12th house✩
This is the most introverted of the Venuses. Living in their own world, they flow through various settings and people, they do not have a fixed type. They are emotionally sensitive, with a very rich and intense personal universe. They can fall in love very easily, but generally the person they love is not available, is usually committed or cannot get involved, for whatever reasons, with the Venus in the 12th house. They usually keep their emotions to themselves. When they finally express what they feel, their emotions flow like a river, flowing with full force. Venus in this house also suffers from the danger of falling in love with people who harm them, who are toxic and abusive. They must become very aware of the type of people they surround themselves with, they need to stop idealizing such people and see them for who they truly are. Their enemies can sometimes be those they love, people can sometimes be with them just to take advantage of their kindness and love. They need to be careful with that. They give so much of themselves, their love flows like deep waters, and sometimes they don't realize they have given too much of themselves until they are already exhausted and sad. As they are very rich internally, they can and should express their inner universe, as they are very creative. Interacting with the arts, dance, photography, cinema and writing are activities that will certainly enhance and elevate this Venus to its maximum potential.
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slayfics · 8 months ago
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Hello! Do you think you can do a Bakugo x reader who genuinely has a hard time accepting gifts and being spoiled because they grew up in a low income household? Thank you!
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Katsuki gives you a gift.
600 words
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Katsuki burst through the door of your shared apartment and announced his return, “Hey brat I’m home!”
You came to the front room to greet him and were taken off guard by what was in his hands.
He had a large stuffed animal tucked under his arm with his work belongings in the other. He dropped his work bag and handed the stuffed animal out to you.
“I picked this up on the way home for ya,” he explained.
You hesitantly grabbed the stuffed animal, quickly realizing it wasn’t just any stuffed animal. It was a special edition Sanrio plush that had just came out in your favorite character. One that you recognized to be rather pricey, as you had been eyeing it the last few days.  
You stared at the plush in your hands, overwhelmed by the mixed feelings that took over you.
“What? Ya don’t like it?” he asked, confused by your unenthusiastic reaction.
“No that’s not it!” You hurriedly replied.
“Then what? That’s your favorite character, right?” He further interrogated.
“Yeah, it is,” you confirmed.
“Then why are you looking like someone died?” He questioned.
You let out a sigh as you gathered your thoughts. You weren’t sure how to put how you felt into words. Yet, you knew it was a conversation you had to have. Lately Katsuki had been getting you more expensive and frequent gifts and it was triggering your past.
“I’m not used to this,” you explained. “Growing up we didn’t have a lot of resources. It was all my family could do to keep food on the table… Whenever they did buy me toys or extra clothes, I felt guilty… like they should have used that money for themselves instead. I love all these gifts you give me but- I can’t help but still feel guilty sometimes. I still have that instinct that I don’t need this, and money should only be spent on necessities.”
Katsuki clicked his tongue, “That’s why I buy you all this stuff idiot,” he huffed. “I know how you grew up; we’ve talked about it so- I want to make up for what you didn’t have back then. I’m a top pro hero now so you don’t ever have to worry about not having enough money for necessities. What good is being a pro hero if I can’t spoil my favorite person.”
You looked up from the plush with misty eyes. Katsuki’s expression was stern, but his eyes were full of affection.
“Look,” Katsuki continued. “I know I don’t… say all the right things sometimes… and I’m not good at expressing how I feel about you. This is how I make up for that. By providing for you and getting you any damn thing you want. So… you can’t take this away from me because… it’s how I say I love you.”
You squeezed the stuffed animal as a tear broke free and ran down your cheek. Katsuki was quick to wipe it with his thumb caressing your cheek.
“Damn it,” he sighed. “You were supposed to smile and kiss me when I gave you the damn plush not cry.”
You sniffled, “It’s a good cry though.”
“Yeah yeah, come here,” he mumbled pulling you into an embrace. You nuzzled into his chest, holding the plush to your chest. “I mean that,” he continued. “You want or need anything you just tell me. Your family too. Gonna take care of all of ya now.” He spoke holding you tightly.
“I love you Kats,” you hummed into his chest.
“I love you too, so… say ya like the damn plus already.” He urged.
“It’s perfect,” you smiled.
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sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99
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postsforposting · 8 days ago
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seriously mean
you can see what you like in fiction, blah blah blah, projecting onto characters is fun, etc
though it really seems like i watched a completely different movie from everyone else's deadpool and wolverine. they hate each other??? logan's a short fuse who doesn't control himself???
logan doesn't attack wade or the bartender despite the insults and the manhandling. no one's afraid of him, everyone stayed put instead of running.
logan outright says "talk about something else". not "shut the fuck up", not "you are so fucking annoying". a directive to continue yapping. just not about the suit. that's literally "keep going". he listened for however long they were walking and in the car, and he was actually LISTENING. he wasn't tuning it out. he wouldn't have known about vanessa and the avengers and the previous xmen adventures if he didn't care about what wade was saying.
all the "insults" that are actual insults only happen when wade's killed someone--after johnny dies, after nicepool dies. logan calls him an asshole after the first cassandra meeting, but in the context of his yapping having just killed johnny and nearly themselves too.
but he immediately asks for his input and then lets him yap again in the diner and all the way to the car fight. he doesn't use insults at all until after wade gets johnny killed, even though wade starts out insulting him in the bar and immediately in the void with "ape". though was he insulting logan or was it a compliment to his inhuman half, designed like an insult? logan's the one who gets down on all fours like an animal in the first fight scene, after wade's said "this is gonna be good". from how easily logan takes down sabretooth, we know that fight was pure fooling around.
logan's not mad when he finds out his universe can't be fixed, because he'll happily trade his past for wade's future--twice, going in the reactor and again when he doesn't demand to return to his own universe. a world without wade isn't one he wants. he makes to walk away because he needs to know if wade will call his name, just as logan called wade's in the reactor. and again, wade's an idiot and annoying in the reactor because he's about to kill someone again--himself.
at the end he says the avengers would be lucky to have wade. that's sincere. he was going to walk off, but chose to turn around and stay with wade. not because he had nowhere else to go, but because he likes the guy he just complimented. when meeting al, wade's throwing gross nonsense and logan is FOND and laughing along. that isn't disgust or frustration.
this is without getting into the motif that "taking the piss", aka insults aka verbal assaults, is "pulling your leg"--a joke. it's not meant seriously. it's flirting, foreplay, feeling each other out: physical violence is sex; verbal violence is first base.
so a mean joke isn't seriously like that but it very much definitely IS...."""like that""", in all seriousness. if you're insulting someone, you're "giving them an excuse", a come on to fucking go. an invite to...come....at? on?.....you. wade and logan both see right through the fourth wall, so this isn't only metatextual but also literally textual. they know what they're playing at.
a joke can also be an excuse to say one thing and mean another, like nicepool claiming to be nice while actually being rude. so if you act like you're mean.....you're saving the good stuff for special occasions. for someone who wants to have a go at you. it's why wade gets all breathy flustered in the car as they're....not playing nicely with each other. you gotta be....seriously mean.... if you wanna get under someone's skin....to live rent free with them. like family does. it's a callback to dp1: if you're paying for it, then you're only renting love, it's not a real happily ever after.
there's also a motif going on with costumes and masks making you "a different person", hence why wade and logan have radically different personalities in and out of their suits/masks. it's why wade takes off his mask to say nice things that he sincerely means.
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ecoterrorist-katara · 9 months ago
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The tragedy of Katara’s parentification
Sokka and Katara were both parentified, and it’s a profoundly life-changing thing for both of them. One of the saddest things in ATLA, though, is how Sokka sort of got to outgrow parentification, but Katara never did.
Sokka’s told to be the man. The provider, the protector. He’s not so good at the former (his hunting failures are a consistent source of comic relief), and he takes failures of the latter very, very hard. He doesn’t manage to save Yue, and that wrecks him. After Yue, he becomes extremely protective of Suki in a way that’s borderline offensive to her. He’s willing to do anything to protect his friends and his family, including something as irresponsible as breaking into the Boiling Rock. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sokka is the only one of the Gaang who unambiguously kills. The rest of them may technically have clean hands because of cartoon logic, but Combustion Man is very dead, and Sokka is the one who killed him. We don’t know how he feels about it, because the show never goes there, but I have a pet theory that Sokka is so uncharacteristically (remember he was team “leave Zuko to freeze to death”) against Katara confronting Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders because he’s the only who knows what killing feels like and wants to protect Katara from it.
But by the end of the show, Sokka’s in a place where he can start to let go of his need to protect. Objectively, all his friends are unbelievably powerful and can take care of themselves, including his sister and his girlfriend. Suki is the one who saves him in the final battle, representing not only a reversal of his initial cartoonish misogyny, but also demonstrating that he is worthy of protection. And of course, he and his friends saved the world, so there isn’t really an enemy that he has to protect them from anymore. Sokka’s loved ones create the conditions under which his parentified behaviour is no longer necessary. Sokka would still have to take the first step to stop seeing himself as the one who has to lay his life on the line, but at least it’s possible for him.
But not Katara.
Katara had to take on the mom role after their mother was murdered, which meant she was responsible for domestic labour and emotional support. Sokka says in The Runaway that her role was to keep the family together. Unlike protection, that’s always a full time job regardless of the war. We see Katara spending more screen time than anybody cooking, getting food, mending, and generally doing women’s work. We see Katara giving everyone emotional support, including strangers and her enemy. We see Katara putting aside her own discomfort and her own hurt in The Desert because if she falls apart, they all die. Nobody ever showed her that she doesn’t need to be the only one who cooks, or that somebody else can be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of her friends, or that — god forbid — someone else can actually be responsible for her emotional wellbeing.
That’s why I never cared for the Ka/taang argument of “he teaches her to be a kid again!” Putting aside the fact that Katara ends up taking care of Aang a lot more as the series goes on, the whole tragedy of parentification is that you can never again be a child. That part of your childhood, your god-given right, is robbed from you. It is extremely precious and important to still be able to be a kid, but breaking free of parentification is not about seeing yourself as a kid. It’s about breaking free of being responsible for everyone’s feelings and behaviours.
For Katara, that responsibility is not problem of perception, but of reality. Unlike Sokka, who was told and shown that his loved ones are capable of protecting themselves, Katara has zero reason to believe that her loved ones are able to feed and clothe themselves and not fall apart emotionally. Between Toph and Sokka who emphatically don’t want to do this work, it all falls on Katara. Telling a parentified child that they just need to loosen up is akin to telling an overworked mother that she needs to just relax (“happy Mother’s Day! You get a break from chores, which you will catch up on tomorrow because nobody else is doing them”). It doesn’t accomplish anything if nobody creates the circumstances under which it’s possible to let go of responsibilities. A lot of Zutara fans, spanning all the way back to the early days of the fandom, like the “Momtara and Dadko” trope where Zuko also does chores. Why? Because even without the concept and language of parentification, many fans recognized that Katara’s performance of domestic and emotional labour is inequitable and probably very taxing.
Growing out of parentification is about more than just letting go of old expectations: it’s also about finding a new way to value yourself beyond the role you grew up with. I’ve said this before, but it’s very important to acknowledge that just because a kid is parentified doesn’t mean they’re actually good at being a parent. In fact, it’s probably a given that they’re not, because they’re kids performing roles that are developmentally inappropriate! Sokka remains a shit hunter; he becomes a decent fighter but he’s still miles behind his friends. A big part of healing from his parentification is finding another area — strategy, engineering, project management (what else do you call that schedule) — where he actually excels, to which he can dedicate his time and from which he can derive satisfaction and a sense of identity. For Katara, fighting for the oppressed and combat waterbending give her that. Crucially, however, Katara does not stop being a girl when she becomes a warrior. She’s still responsible for domestic and emotional labour. Unlike Sokka, whose protector duties were more or less relieved as the series went on and he found new ways to contribute to the group, Katara continued to perform her old role in addition to her new one (which is depressingly realistic btw, look up feminist theory around the concept of the second shift). Still, it’s important that she found these new ways to value herself and her contributions…
…which disappear in her adult life. Where’s adult Katara fighting for the oppressed? Where’s adult Katara enjoying her status as a master waterbender? Where’s Mighty Katara? Where’s the Painted Lady? Where’s the person who vanquished a whole Fire Lord?
What do we know about adult Katara? She’s no longer a rabblerouser or an ecoterrorist. She did not translate her desire to help the downtrodden into a political role, like being Chief or on the United Republic Council. She’s not known as the best waterbender in the world, only the best healer, even though her combat abilities are what she took the most pride in. Even as a healer, she established no hospitals, trained no widespread acolytes (except Korra, I guess?), and made no known contributions to the field.
What Katara is known for…is being a wife and a mother. The same role she was forced to take on at age 8. One which she performed for the next 80+ years.
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simpee9000 · 7 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 5 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Not edited : 10k words !!!
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
Katsuki and his closest friend decided to make a tradition of camping during the summer. The group mainly just inviting themselves in on his hiking trips and making it a bigger deal. You remember at first that he looked at you for help, only finding that you were already discussing with Mina about sharing a tent. You and the girls all shared a tent that year, in celebration of graduation.
But now, only a year later, the tradition stuck. It was beginning of August and the group of you were all getting packed. Preparing to meet at the camping site at separate times due to schedule errors. It was a small campground in all, you only knew of it if a local told you, so you had no idea how Katsuki got on the good side of a local, but he did. It was barely in service, just enough for phone calls, but Katsuki had a strict no phone rule.
Despite him being a grump about everything, the campground is beautiful, a lake in the middle of it all but surrounded by many different hiking routes. You were excited to spend this camping trip next him rather than the girls, curious about all the ins-and-outs of this campground.
You often tagged along next to him for his hikes, it was the main way you guys spent your off days. He always needed something to do, and you wanted to be near him, so you followed.
It created countless stories between you two, either inside jokes about one falling over a tree or just the deep conversations you shared as you hiked the trail.
After the hour drive out of the city, you were met with the lush campgrounds. It was just as breathtaking as last year. Just being in view of it, lifted a weight off your shoulders. It felt like you could breathe better overall.
The two of you were the first ones there. Arriving just before sunset. The rest of the group said they'd be here soon. You attempted to convince Katsuki to wait so you could share a ride with Kirishima and Mina, but he was too impatient.
Once your foot was out of the car, Katsuki started handing you things to set up. Giving you some of the tents he brought and to place them near the already made fire pit. He brought most of the camping supplies for the group, everyone else would just have to bring the things that they wanted.
You decided to wait to put up the tents until others got here, unsure of the pairing. So you and Katsuki got to work on putting up the fold up tables and some chairs out. Grabbing the ice chest filled of your food and setting it near the camp fire, which Katsuki quickly had going. Thankfully the campsite sold firewood, so you had no worries of running out.
The rumble of Kirishima's super duty truck made you turn you're head. Soon enough Mina barreled out of the truck and came running to you.
"Hi," she squeeze you into a hug, "Haven't seen you since the party!" You squeezed her back, it has been a while since you've seen her, the party was almost a month ago.
"Of course you guys show up after we finish setting everything up," Katsuki grumbled, dragging his feet as he walked to Kirishima's truck to help grab ice chests.
Kirishima gave a cheeky smile, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry man, I'm free to help now though."
"Whatever," Katsuki scoffed.
Kirishima gave you a wave, "Anything I can help with?"
You looked around, finally pushing Mina away from the hug, "We haven't set up any tents, so maybe that? I just don't know who's sharing and stuff yet."
Kirishima and Mina shared a quick glance, turning a shy red in their cheeks. "Well," Mina dragged out, "E and I are sharing, Bakugo and you are sharing, so we can start there."
"Wait," you paused them confused, embarrassed about sharing a tent with Katsuki.
"Huh?" Kirishima turned towards the tents laying on the ground, "Denki and Sero can share, I doubt they mind. They can set up another if hey have that big of an issue."
"We only packed three air mattresses," you pointed out.
"They've shared a bed before, it's fine. They're bros," Kirishima shrugged. He wasn't getting the point. You looked to find were Katsuki went and saw him grabbing stuff from Kirishima's truck, not having heard a lick of the conversation.
By the time you look back over to Kirishima, him and Mina were already off to the side of the campsite and setting up their tent. Mina struggling to stand as she laughed, hitting Kirishima with the tent pole constantly.
It was enduring to see them mess around, especially since they were finally getting ahold of their relationship. Both of them have been struggling with a label since the second year.
You looked back at Katsuki, who grabbed all he needed from the truck and was now crouched and working on the fire again. You walked over to stand next to him, bumping his shoulder lightly with your hip to get his attention, "We needa set up our tent."
He scrunched his eye brows, looking over to were the tent were then to were Kirishima was. "They sharing?" he nodded his head in their direction. You hummed, rocking on the ball of your feet, stuffing your hands in your pockets. This felt odd.
" Okay," he stood up, brushing the remains of wood of his hands. You stepped away slightly, giving him room to stand without bumping into you. "Where do ya' want it?"
You looked around the campsite. It was quite big, plenty of space for anything. Trees lined the dirt center that was meant for parking cars and the rest of the camping supplies. Where the trees lined the dirt, there was plenty of open grass plots for a tent. Kirishima and Mina already taking one of the grass plots near the cars. So you walked to the other side, leaving the ones in the middle for the boys to chose.
Katsuki picked up the tent and followed you, dropping the tent bag where you stopped. It was quite the distance from the cars so you would have to move the car briefly so you could blow up the air mattress.
You went to unzip the bag, handing Katsuki the poles to connect together while you pulled out the actual tent to space out. Switching jobs so he could anker it to the ground. You quickly saw why Mina was laughing so hard. The pole you were connecting broke apart in one spot and swung to hit Katsuki in the back of the head.
He wiped his head around, "The fuck?" he barked at you. You hunched over laughing, his face was so mad, it was as if you took a dogs bone. "Asshat," he grumbled, turning to finish the last anker. Before snatching the pole from your hand and threading it through the tent. Ordering you to help connect it on the other side despite you still laughing slightly at him.
The two of you did the other side without much issue, putting the rain cover up as well as threading the pole over the door to keep it steady. He quickly trudged off to bring the car. Mina joining your side as you two watched Katsuki set up the air mattress. "I hate tents," she grumbled.
You looked at her tent, seeing it messily set up, all their stuff being thrown in as well, fully set up. "Why?" you asked.
"Can't really make noise if y'know what I mean," she wiggled her brows, nudging her arm into yours.
"I better not hear that," you made a face of disgust.
"Same to you," Mina laughed, "Though I am curious as t-"
"Don't," you raised your hand to stop her, "I don't even want to know."
Katsuki called you over to the tent, currently fighting with the air mattress.
"What even happened?" you laughed the second you peaked inside the tent, he was currently struggling to get the air pump connected to the air mattress.
"Can't find the hole," he sighed frustrated.
Mina erupted into laughter, "That's what she said!"
You stifled a laugh, moving Katsuki to the side as you pushed the mattress into a better angle. Getting the mattress blown up easily. Katsuki getting out of the tent to place the bedding and your guys stuff in the tent to the side. It was a large tent, plenty of space for you to stand up straight, Katsuki only had to slouch slightly to not hit his head in the middle.
He moved the car and left you to set up the bedding once the mattress was fully inflated it. Knowing it go cold at night you threw a large open sleeping bag over the top of the mattress to sleep on top of, knowing that the air mattress would be insanely cold otherwise. Just throwing your pillows at the end of the bed and then half-assly throwing heavy blankets on top before shuffling out of the tent, hearing Sero and Denki pull up, music blasting.
Katsuki was instantly barking orders at them.
"Chill man, we brought the booze," Denki laughed, opening the truck and pulling out a cooler, Sero doing the same.
"How fucking much are you planning to drink?" Katsuki went wide eyed at the two full coolers of booze.
"We'll probably have to buy more," Sero shrugged.
"Huh? How?" Katsuki looked dumb founded.
"I mean," Sero pointed and count the group, "there six of us, five of us wanting to get drunk nightly this weekend. We all need to drink a lot to get drunk as well."
Katsuki whiped his head to you, "You drinkin'?"
You shrugged, "I mean yeah- wait Sero?"
"Yeah?" he looked up from where he was fishing a beer out of the cooler.
"Did you pack my wine?" you stepped closer to him.
"In the car," he nodded towards the car. You quickly skipping over and grabbing a bottle to drink for the night. Katsuki was busy yelling at everyone to watch how much they drunk, they still had work monday.
Mina groaned at him, lulling her head over to you, "Can you get the stick out of his ass? He's acting like he hasn't been laid in years."
Your face flushed but you laughed to cover it, "I think it's too far up there for me to help."
"Fuck off," he barked at the two of you, causing you to laugh harder.
The group was standing around the fire, Katsuki making sure it stayed steady. Once you got the wine bottle open you joined them, taking the seat next to Katsuki, stretching your legs onto his arm rest of the chair, knowing he wouldn't mind.
"Y'know, sometimes I forget you two are dating," Denki point at finger between you and Katsuki, that same hand also bringing a beer up to his mouth to take a swig. "I only remember when you do shit like that," he gestured to your legs.
"What do you mean?" you tilted your head.
"Well he'd kill anyone else for that," Denki shrugged.
"Ah yes, you bagged quite a man, one that'd kill some one from breathing wrong," Mina laughed at you.
You flushed, embarrassed that even the ones closest to you barely saw the relationship. You looked over to see how Katsuki took the joke, seeing him staring intently at the fire. Poking at it with a fire stick.
"What's our plan for tomorrow?" you looked around the group, taking a sip of wine straight from the bottle. Wanting to skip past any talk about your relationship.
"I'm going for a hike," Katsuki said, setting down the fire stick and leaning into his chair, arms cross.
"Okay," you dragged out, seeing if anyone would add their plans. When no one added you continued, "So Kats and I are going for a hike in the morning, then we'll be back and we can all go to the lake?" you suggested.
"Sounds good, I would go with but I need sleep, works been rough," Kirishima sent an apology to Katsuki, only to be shrugged off.
"Have you been taking better care of your support gear?" you nagged at him, annoyed about the amount of times you've fixed it just this month.
"Yes mom," he groaned.
"Oh shut your mouth," you scolded. The group laughed at your bickering with Kirishima.
The group quickly fell into an banter, all thankful they got the weekend off from hero work. Glad they could escape out of the city. It was refreshing. The view of the camp ground and their faces. They looked a least a little more carefree than normal. Tonight was the calm of the camping trip, tomorrow night would be all chatter and drunk games. It was only Friday night and you guys would be staying till Sunday, with work on Monday. It was a short get away but it was all the agencies could agree too. Everyone already ate their meals during the drive here, so all that was to do was set up.
By the time the fire was out, Sero and Denki still hadn't put their tent up. They'd have to do it drunk and in the dark. Katsuki was already well past tired and demanded to get up early, so you couldn't join them. So you had Kirishima promise to watch for them.
With the rest of the group taken care of, you and Katsuki walked off into your tent. Well he walked, you stumbled and grabbed onto his arm, drunk from drinking the whole wine bottle. He unzipped the door of the tent, holding it open for you and closing it behind himself.
"What side y'want?" Katsuki huffed, reaching for his backpack.
You looked at the options for a moment, "The one near the tent wall, I don't wanna be by the door."
"Ight," he was still digging through his bag. You walked over to your side, just about to sit down before he yelled at you, "The fuck y'doing? Change your clothes, I don't want our bed to smell like wine and campfire."
"But you literally smell like a campfire," you pointed out, "And I don't smell like wine."
"I saw you spill it over yourself, and I don't care. Change," he ordered.
"How am I supposed to change with you in here," you grumbled back at him.
"I'll turn around and so will you," he pointed out blandly.
So after grabbing your pjs, you both turned around and changed. You felt the urge to turn and catch a look but you knew that it'd be all you thought of. You laughed slightly to yourself, amused that you've been dating for three years but have yet to change near each other.
"What?"
Your head almost spun to look at him, but you remembered before you did, "Nothin."
"Why'd you laugh?" he asked differently.
You sighed, " Just the fact we are turned away from each other right now," you shrugged your pj shirt over your head, unhooking your bra from underneath it, just in case.
"Want to watch me get naked?" he teased.
A hot wave flashed through you, "Shuddup," you coughed out after a moment. Quickly putting on your sleep shorts. "You done yet?"
"Have been for a minute," he replied. With the okay to turn around, you quickly climbed into bed. Only then did it sink in that you'd be sharing a bed for the first time. Seeing him lift the covers and joined you excited you. It was a first, and it was thrilling, even if it was just sleep.
"Y'know," you moved closer to where he got comfortable, "We've never shared a bed."
"I'm aware," he peered down at you. He had his head rested on the pillow, arms above his head as he laid on his hands.
"It's weird," you whispered, like you were admitting a secret. You moved yourself to lay onto your stomach, propping yourself up with your arms.
"How?" he asked softly, matching your tone. He adjusted himself, getting into a better position to look at you. Even in the dark, you could see his vibrant red eyes peering at you.
"Like," you looked away from him, overwhelm, picking at the blanket that was over your shoulders, "Feels different, we live together but we don't share a bed, but now we are. Feels like a new step without the other foundations in a way."
"What other foundations would we need?"
"Well none I guess, but we didn't choose this one fully," you shrugged.
"I knew we were going to share, did you not?" he nudged your calf with his leg, grabbing your attention.
"Not really, I'm happy we are, just," you paused, "I don't know."
You heard Denki and Sero laughing from their tent, clearly in a struggle to set it up.
"I get it," Katsuki said after a moment, "Feels like we are doing things in a weird order."
"Yeah," you yawned.
"Go to bed," he order softly.
"Goodnight," you muttered, plopping your head onto your pillow.
"Night."
---
Katsuki woke you up just before sunrise, slightly shaking your arm till you woke up. He already has his hiking bag made, filled with stuff for the both of you. Shoving you a granola bar and a protein shake before he left you to change.
After slipping into some pants, aware of the brisk mornings. Katsuki having warned you while you packed. With your legs warm, you threw on a tank-top with a hoodie over it. Tying your shoes before fighting your way out of the tent, meeting Katsuki at the end of the campsite road.
"Finally," he immediately stepped off, following the tree line. Having you jog slightly to catch up to him.
"Do you sleep okay?" you questioned, worried you kicked him or something in your sleep.
"Yeah," he replied. Well, at least he didn't sleep bad. "You?" he looked over at you briefly, before looking back up, turning into a trail that went out of the main camping area.
"Yep, best in a while actually," you followed him.
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, trailing through the forest. The trail seemed like it faded in and out, clearly not used often enough to keep a path.
Leaves brushed past your pants as you walked through, following each step he made, keeping up with his steady pace. He often looked back to make sure you were still behind him before he made a turn slightly off path, getting yourselves deeper into the forest. It was a steady up hill for the most part, up until you hit a rocky area with a steady climb.
Katsuki easily jumped up the first step, even with it at waist height, reaching down a hand to help pull you up. He let you walk in front of him from then on, just pointing you towards where to go. Letting you climb up the slight rocks, prepared to catch you if you fell, even if it wasn't higher than five or so feet. Soon enough you were standing taller than the rest of the camp, being able to see the lake and even our campsite from the top of the rocks you climb.
"This is," you let out a breath, "wow."
"See, if you didn't get wasted last time I could of shown you then," he reminded.
You ignored him, watching how the sky was slowly gaining color from the sunrise, a faint pink and orange hue barely kissy the horizon.
"This isn't even the best part," he tugged on your arm, lightly dragging you away from the cliff edge. He went in the opposite direction from the cliff, walking through the small forest that coated the top of the rocky mountain you were on. He held unto your hand until you heard the faint noise of running water. Pulling you in front of him as he guided you to the small pond that ran off the cliff edge and into a small creek.
"Why didn't you drag me with last time," you slapped his arm lightly, walking over to the water, crouching down to feel the water. It was freezing.
"You were bitchin'," he shrugged. Setting his backpack down near a tree.
You started untying your shoes, taking them off along with your socks. On a whim deciding to unbutton your pants.
"What are you doing?" he hissed. You turned your head toward him, his face was flushed as he looked away.
"I'm getting in," you shrugged.
"You're wearing a swimsuit?" he looked back over, still red in the face.
"Nah," you pushed your pants down, "I just wear my underwear, it'll dry."
"It's fucking freezing in that water," he pointed out, looking away once again.
"Scared to join?" you teased, folding your pants and setting them on top of your shoes, doing the same with your hoodie and tank top.
"Oh fuck you," he groaned. Not wanting to back out on a challenge, he tugged his shirt and pants off quickly, leaving them on a rock near his shoes. Joining you just as you started stepping into the water.
You flinched at the temperature but forced yourself to fully get in, letting the water reach your shoulders. Hair tied up to stay dry. Katsuki was by your side after a minute.
It was funny to think that last night you changed facing away from each other, but now you were only clad in underwear and in a random pond. It wasn't a first to be around each other in underwear, you've lived together for a little over a year after all.
"Water's not too bad," you commented.
He shot you a glare, "I hate the cold."
"Ice baths are good for you though, lots of health benefits," you chimed, knowing he hated being told something he hated was good.
"Fuck em," he grunted. He let his face fall into a pout as he stared at the water as if it was his enemy. His arms crossed to hold in any warmth. Butterflies filled your stomach as you looked over his feature. He was made but he looked soft. The worries of the hero world gone, if only for a moment. He looked back up at you, "What?" he bit out.
"Nothin'," you shook your head, "Cold?"
"Obviously," he rolled his eyes.
You stepped closer to him, having stuck at arms length from him. "Hug?" you offered.
"How will that help?" he coughed.
"I don't know, body heat?" you stepped closer.
"But you're fucking freezing too," he pointed out.
"Come on, Kats," you held out your arms for him. With a pout of your lip, he groaned and stepped into your arms. Wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you towards him. "See, not to bad," you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He nudged his head into your shoulder, "Shuddup." The tips of his ears stayed red from his blush, the heat from his face warming your neck. "Your warm," he muttered, pulling you impossibly closer, his watch scratching your back lightly.
You scratched at his hair, letting your hands play with the strands at the nape of his neck as you looked around. Soaking in the moment. The sky was slowly waking up, the orange and pinks that were barely visible before, took up the entire sky. A steady blue warming in as well. Katsuki let his shoulders sag into your touch as he pulled his face away, catching your attention.
"You're beautiful," he mumbled, embarrassed as he let his eyes track over your face.
"What's up with you?" you laughed shyly, "All boyfriendy recently."
"Just getting used to things more I guess," his voice was soft, but rough from his daily screaming matches with the boys.
"Took three years?" you pointed out. Watching his eyes as he looked over yours.
"You said I can do what I want right?" he asked, referencing your words from the other week when he kissed you for the first time since graduation.
You flushed, "I did."
He looked over your features again before his eyes fell to your lips. Letting his hand unhook from your waist and gently cup your cheek, just as it had that night. He admired your features for a while, letting his thumb barely trace your bottom lip before he leaned in himself. Letting himself fall into the kiss.
You tilted you head and pushed into your toes, letting yourself get impossible closer to him. Letting your body curve into his, fit alongside his perfectly. You let your hands hold unto his hair, pushing him deeper into him. Grasping onto his hair when you felt his tongue trail alongside your bottom lip. You're mouth falling open, begging him to continue the kiss.
Whining when he pulled away, out of breath and eyes lidded. "You're fine with this?" he asked hoarsely brows still furrowed from how he kissed you.
You just tugged him closer to you in response, locking your lips against his. Luckily, he quickly ran his tongue over your lip again, letting it slide into your mouth slowly. The kiss left a buzz going through your body, making your fingers twitch tighter into his hair, wanting nothing but more. Air could wait. You let your tongue fight with his for a moment, playfully toying with the new feeling of kissing him like this, before you gave in, letting him take over the kiss completely.
His hand dropped away from your face, falling back to your hip and he pulled you closer, fully into him. Groaning lowly when your thigh hit him, it falling between his legs.
The groan snapped you into reality. You were making out with Katsuki, and you felt him against your thigh. Clearly enjoying it. Just in attempt to see his reaction, you move your thigh slightly, making another groan fall from his lips and into your mouth before he pulled away from the kiss. Lazily look down at you, "We should probably stop before we.." he trailed off, his eyes falling on your lips again.
"Yeah," you nodded in agreement, looking down at his lips, plump and rosy from kissing.
Both of you sat in a daze of staring at each other, only breaking out of it when you heard faint talking in the distance.
You quickly scrambled off each other and to your clothes. Throwing them on as quickly as possible, wringing out as much water as possible beforehand. You did not want to be caught half naked in a random pond. It would wreck his hero image.
With clothes thrown on you quickly walked back towards camp, running into the couple you heard from the pond on your way down. Stopping when they asked for a picture with Katsuki. Which he was in a good enough mood to agree to.
After getting out of earshot, you started giggling to yourself. "We are so lucky we heard them."
He laughed breathlessly near you, "Yeah, would of gotten an exclusive photo otherwise."
"Your fan girls would have my head instantly," you added.
"You'd kick their ass."
You smiled at his faith in you, "Thank you, that's what I've been saying. Mei thinks I'm crazy."
After only a few tumbles, you were back at the campsite, letting the laughter from the previous conversation flow out of you. Everyone was awake when you got back. All prepared to head to the lake.
"You guys were out for a while," Mina commented, a hinting tone to her voice, "Why are your clothes wet?"
You looked down at your hoodie, the fabric of your bra having soaked the front of your shirt, just as your underwear soaked your pants. Katsuki was in the same boat.
"I took a dive in the water for a moment," you shrugged, "I'm going to put on a swimsuit, we can head out after."
And you did just that, Katsuki doing the same just after you.
You met up at Mina's side, she was in the middle of teasing Denki for how he applied sunblock.
She eyed you, "So, you guys were gone for a whileee."
"Yeah? We went on a hike?" you asked back, confused at her tone.
"You left at 6, it almost 10," she pointed out. You paled at the realization.
"It was a long walk," you defended.
Denki snorted, "Yeah a long 'walk'," he did air quotes.
Lucky enough, Katsuki was in time to hear that comment and swatted him upside the head. Denki squawking at him.
---
The lake was calm, water a perfect temperature along with the weather. Only a few other campers were at the lake but they were a good distance away. You would be able to mess around with your group without having to worry about being too loud or press getting photos.
You guys had set out chairs next the shore and some coolers, one filled with alcohol and the other having food. When the sunblock was all applied and dried, you and Mina instantly ran in. Her challenging you to a race and easily beating you.
"Mina!" you heard Kirishima shout before he tackled Mina into the water. You stepped back from the two, seeing them actual start to drown each other.
"Hey."
You squeaked, scared of being dunked. Turning to see Sero smirking at you.
"Scared of some water?" he teased.
"I'm scared of being drowned by a pro hero, yes," you turned back to watch Mina and Kirishima start to calm down. Unfortunately seeing them start making lovey eyes and leaning in.
"I'm so thankful you and Bakugo don't do that," Sero cringed, turning away from the site.
Memories from the pond flashed through your mind, shooting a quick glance at Katsuki, who was leaned back in a foldable chair. Legs stretched out and arms crossed over his stomach. Head fully leaded back and face the sky, with a hat blocking his fat from the sun.
"I doubt me and him would ever do that," you agreed, shaking your eyes off of Katsuki.
"You guys were gone for a while this morning," he elbowed you.
You scoffed, "It's a long walk."
"Yeah sure," he laughed, "At least we didn't have to hear it."
"Nothing happened," you shoved him into the water.
Sero started making kissing noises.
"Shut up!" you hushed, looking to see if Katsuki heard. When you aw him lift his hat slightly to peak at you, you jumped Sero. Submerging him under water as you smiled back at Katsuki.
Once he put his hat back over his head you let Sero go.
"I know I'm a hero and everything but damn your strong," Sero laughed, coughing some water out.
"Don't cross me," you jokingly threatened.
"You guys seem to be doing better though, he didn't throw your shoes off his chair last night," Sero commented, voice low so others didn't hear, "Was he just off that party?"
"No, he just doesn't like his hands touched for too long," you shrugged, "He always shakes my hands off after a couple minutes."
Sero hummed, "Well I'm getting a beer, want any?"
"Nah, I'll drink the rest of my wine tonight though," you twisted in the water, letting the water swish near you.
Soon you heard Mina start giggling, so you turned and saw her and Kirishima obviously flirting. "Guys!" faked throwing up, "Get a room."
Mina groaned, "You're just like Bakugo," she stuck her tongue out at you, you doing the same.
Before you saw anything more you decided to bug Katsuki, walking out of the water and grabbing a towel to wrap around you shoulders before walking to his seat. With the new shade you moved his hat off his face.
"Hi," you smiled down at him, happy to be here.
"Hey," he returned, "Why ain't you in the water?"
"Missed you," you shrugged, "you should join us."
He hummed, looks around the lake. "We brought the paddle board right?"
"I think Kiri set it up," you looked around for it, seeing it leaned against the picnic table, "Yeah he brought it."
Katsuki stood up, stretching slightly before moving over to it. You had trouble keeping your eyes off the way his back rippled with each movement. He grabbed the paddle board and placed it in the water, "Hold it will ya?" he gave you the foot strap, making you keep it from going too far away as he walked to grab some fishing stuff.
It was small hobby he hardly got to do, but he loved it all the same. Once he grabbed a fishing pole and the right bait he walked back over to you. Setting his stuff down to the said as he grabbed the foot strap from you.
"Get on," he directed, holding the board still. Unaware you were going with you quickly put your towel down before carefully getting on, keeping yourself near the front so he had room on the back.
He handed you the paddle and his fishing gear before he joined you on the board. Taking the paddle from off your lap and pushing you guys off the shore and into the waters.
"Don't fuck on that paddle board! I want to use it later," Denki shouted from his spot next to Sero.
"Shut your damn mouth," Katsuki wacked him with the paddle once close enough.
Denki and Sero crackled out a laugh as Katsuki paddled away from them, further out into the lake.
He was mumbling under his breath. Before he could let it consume his thoughts more you spoke out, "It's beautiful here."
You looked around the lake, it was surrounded by greenery, cliff formations closing the lake in, making it feel closed off from the rest of the world. It was peaceful, Cottonwood trees shedding and filling the air with small puffs of white cotton, it looked like a dream.
"Yeah, last year you were too drunk to remember anything," he poked. Reminding you of how last year you were stumbling around half the time. You hardly remembered that trip, just the bruises that followed when you got back. You had countless scratches covering every inch of you.
You turned to shoot his a glare, seeing him looking amused at your frustration. "Well at least I had fun, you had a stick too far up your ass to have any," you shot back.
He glared at you for a second before letting his face rest again, paddling you guys into a small cove, good for fishing and still in sight of your group. Slowly you turned to face him, careful not to shake the board much.
Katsuki was tying on a hook, looking down intently at the knot. His brows furrowed as he focused. You watched as he tied it off and attached some bait before throwing it in.
Only then did he look at you, finally feeling your eyes on him. "What?"
"Just funny watching the symbol of strength tie a knot," you grinned.
He rolled his eyes. Silence took over for a moment, a heavy breath falling from his lips, "It's still all crazy to me."
"What is?" you shuffled slightly, leaning back on your hands rather then having your back hunched.
"Everything," he looked around, "Like, I really am number two."
"Yeah, you are the shit," you joked.
He shot you a look, sighing, "Not even just that, I'm second and I'm fine with it. Obviously I'll beat Deku soon, but for now I'm content."
Feeling the shift of the conversation, you joined in, "Well you've grown up a lot, you're not who you used to be in middle school anymore."
"It's weird," he looked down. Playing with the string at the end of the pole. "So much has changed but so little at the same time. I've become a top pro hero but I'm still closest to our class in UA."
"Yeah," you nodded along, watching how the sun hit his hair, " I mean, I'm in the top of my business yet I'm still dating you," you teased wanting to lift some weight from the conversation.
He looked up at you, keeping his head down, "No idea why you are. Our relationship is one of the things that haven't changed at all."
"Which is good," you finished for him.
"I mean at all," he added on, "We haven't changed our relationship since second year."
"That's not true," you frowned at him, "We've grown closer, we live together now, we go on dates," you started to list.
"You know that wasn't what I meant," he raised his head, moving to reel in the fishing pole, no longer in the mood for it. Connecting it to the side of the paddle board, securing it so he didn't have to worry about it. Same with the paddle, letting you guys drift with the wind.
"Then what do you mean?" you were trying to get him to say it. He's been hinting at it for ages but hasn't actually said it.
He raised an eyebrow at you, "Need me to spell it out?
"Yes actually."
"We've kissed five times in the total of three years, having know each other since we were fuckin' five," he explained.
"Yeah and?" you pushed.
"E' and Mina have been dating for all of three weeks officially and have probably done everything under the sun," he stated.
"What does that have to do with us?"
"It's just my fault, you've apparently have been wanting to and I've been holding you back," he confessed, shame filling his eyes as he looked at you.
"I'm fine just with you by my side," you answered, leaning up to grab his hands. A spark shooting out before you could.
"Fuck sorry," he dipped his hands in the water, then turned his watch on and his quirk off.
"Have you figured out why you spark?" you wondered, looking at his hands.
He looked back up at you, his eyes clearly searching for a way out of the conversation. His quirk activating clearly setting him far from the idea of talking about it anymore. "I just was trying to keep the watch off to test it earlier," he shrugged.
"No," you shook your head, " I meant overall."
Katsuki paused, looking back down at his hand. You wanted to comfort him, he was obviously not willing to talk about his quirk but you wanted him to confined in you.
Before you could cut in, his hands shot out and grabbed you by your knees, pulling you into him. He smirked at you, wearing his classic grin he wore in battle. The one that made you weak. Your hands flew to his chest to keep balance. "What are you doing?" you squeaked.
Instead of giving an answer he leaned down and crushed your lips in a kiss.
In just the span of a month, you doubled your kiss count with him, and made out with him.
You held your hands steady on his shoulders, letting yourself fall into the kiss, bones melting into his hold as his teeth nipped at your bottom lip.
A gasp left your lips as you tied to deepen the kiss, pushing yourself more unto him.
Unfortunately in the process of doing that, you pushed both him and yourself off the paddle board. Breaking apart before you hit the water.
You came back up laughing together.
---
Everyone only got tired of the lake way into the afternoon. Finally decided to go back for dinner. Which would take a while to set up as it is. Especially with Katsuki wanting to cook a steak on the fire. While he seasoned the steak he left Kirishima to start the fire.
You took your wine out of the cooler, quickly taking the cork out. Everyone, minus Katsuki, was well over tipsy. Having been drinking since the start of the day, so you needed to catch up.
Mina stepped to your side as you poured yourself a cup. "So," she swayed, "Bakugo's a lot calmer today than yesterday."
"Okay?" you focused on how much wine you poured yourself, having a third of your wine in one cup.
"And I saw you two on the paddle board," she hinted.
"Okay?" you took a sip of your wine, finally looking at her.
"Saw you kiss too," she stated.
You flushed, "What are you getting at?"
"Did you guys do it in the forest?" Mina asked excited.
"What?" you coughed, "No!"
"Come on, you can tell me," she pleaded, "Me and E have a bet going."
"We did not have," you lowered your voice, "sex in the forest."
She huffed, "Lame, did you at least do something?"
"Mina," you groaned, embaressed.
"You did!" Mina squealed, "What did you do?"
Katsuki heard the squeal, being only ten or so feet away, and turned his head, "You did what?"
You lost all color in your face, throat going dry. He only just started kissing you. You didn't know how'd he react you telling Mina of all people. You didn't even know if Katsuki talked about that stuff to other people, he didn't even talk about it with you.
"She's just telling me what you guys did in the forest," Mina teased.
Katsuki face flushed red.
"I didn't tell her anything!" you cut in, "She's just making stories to herself."
"Get your nose out of it racoon eyes," Katsuki spat.
You were relived he wasn't mad at you. You didn't know how you would handle that.
Picking up your cup, you decided to drown out the thought with some more alcohol. Switching to listen to the boys banter about who could get a brand and be plain faced during it. Clearly it wasn't wise to keep them near the fire. Deciding to no longer watch that shit show, which Mina joined to egg them on, you walked up to Katsuki. He was still seasoning the steaks, eyes focused as he carefully chose what to add. You stood being him, uttering a small hi before you raised on your tip-toes and rested your chin on his shoulder. Getting his view of the steak.
"Is Mina giving you a rough time?" he mumbled, voice low so the others wouldn't hear.
"Not really," you wrapped your arms around his waist, "she just really thinks we had sex."
He scoffed but didn't add anymore, he just let you watch him. Only pulling away when it was time to put the steak on the fire pit, having them hover on a small grate to cook fully.
---
You stared up fascinated by the stars, they covered the entire span of the sky. With the pollution in the city, you hardly saw the stars unless you were out in the mountains like you were now. It was a breath of fresh air in so many ways. It calmed your soul.
Every part of this camping trip did. You and Katsuki got time together, away from the stress of the world, and you got to spend it surround by your closest friends. They were always lively but you could tell they were even more alive with this trip. It's been the thing you guys talked about all summer. Planning every moment so you could live it up to the fullest. Yet, typical to the group, you guys didn't follow a single plan. The only plan you did follow was getting drunk each night. The group will have downed every last drink in the cooler by the end of tonight.
You looked back down towards the group, they were laughing at the old stories they shared from high school. It was a bond you didn't have with them. After the first year, you were back to a somewhat normal high school experience. And you'd rather forget that year, everything went horribly. You looked at the back of Katsuki's head, watching as he shook his head at what Sero said. You don't think you'd ever forget how you had smeared Katsuki's own blood on his face, trying to keep him with you. Fighting to stop his blood from flowing out of him before he pulled your hands up to his face weakly.
Tears blurred the look on his face, and you hated that you might of forgot his face. Might of had your last moments with his face foggy with tears. It ate you up inside.
The wasn't the only time you've seen him like that, and it wouldn't be the last, but it definitely set a dark tone for each day he left for work. Worried he wouldn't come back that same night. Wouldn't be there to yell at you for reading too much and not there to complain about your shows. The fact that you'd have to eat his last premade meals without him.
You worried about your friends too. You glanced at Mina. There was a day where each of your friends almost died. Mina have burned her own skin off with her quirk. It was a fate that shattered your heart, yet it happened in the hero world all too often. Denki constantly fried his own brain within an inch of life and Kirishima has broken pieces of his skin off after rough villain encounters. Hell, even Sero was almost strangled with his quirk.
Dark memories flooded your brain. Each day they sacrificed themselves yet they were sitting here without a care in the world as they sipped on their drinks. Sometimes it felt like you were the only one that cared and felt the toll, but Katsuki came home drained enough times for you to know that just isn't true. They find that saving others is worth ripping themselves apart. You shook your head at the idea. It was selfish of you, but you knew they wouldn't be selfish of themselves, so someone had to.
Not allowing yourself to fall deeper into that long fall, you took a deep breath and watch how alive they were right now. The biggest thing about knowing heroes, was that you had to live in the moment rather than the what ifs. Those would tear every inch of you apart.
The trees framing the campsite didn't look nearly as alive as your group did. They sat around the fire, poking fun at each other any chance they got. Bringing up Denki's horrible pick up lines and Kirishima's brick of a head. Their very much alive laughter echoing around your campsite.
The group was stuffed full, sitting around the campfire as they told stories. Alcohol stirring up their blood warm.
"No I swear," Denki laughed, "Bakugo literal came up to the photographer and barked."
"Shut it," Katsuki growled at him.
You were gathering supplies to make smores, craving them with the energy of camping. Arms full you walked back to Katsuki and dumped everything on his lap. "Thank you," you hummed, ignoring his protest.
Grabbing the graham-crackers from his lap you cracked one for a smore. "Can you prepare one for me too?" Katsuki asked, putting a marshmallow on a stick for both you and him.
"Breaking your diet?" you quirked a brow but prepped a smore for him as well. Placing less chocolate on his than yours because you knew he didn't care for sweets.
"Haven't had a smore since I was a kid," he confessed, handing you your stick.
"Seriously?" you were shocked, "Are you talking about that summer from when we were seven?" Recalling the last time he made a smore well. He boasted about his skills until he dropped his second one into a fire.
"Yeah," he followed your movements and put his marshmallow above the fire, letting it slowly melt.
"You guys are so cute," Mina gushed. Honestly, you were so wrapped up in your conversation with Katsuki and the memories, that you forgot about everyone else.
You felt the warm of your blush in your ears, grateful that it was dark and no one could poke fun.
"I'm serious," she whined at your silence, thinking you were disagreeing, "Childhood best friends to lovers, I mean come on! Who doesn't love that trope?!"
It was obvious she was drunk.
"Mina, you're drunk," Katsuki shook his head.
"I don't know, I agree with her. It's admirable," Kirishima followed.
"Thank you," she huffed happily.
"I don't know how you've stayed loyal for so long," Denki said, fumbling when you all gave him a weird look, "In the sense of never having a relationship with someone else before, not cheating."
Sero hummed, "Yeah, weird to know you guys haven't dated anyone but each other."
Katsuki shot you a look, you returning it all the same.
"Wait," Sero leaned forward, "Have you guys dated other people?"
"I haven't," Katsuki side eyed you as he focused back on his smore.
Mina whined your name, "Why haven't I been told this?"
"Did we go to school with them?" Denki butted in.
"It had to of been during first year right?" Sero analyzed.
"Oh my god," you shot Katsuki a glare, annoyed he pushed you into the wolves, "It was middle school." He was smug, seeing his friends basically gasp in betrayal before they heard the 'middle school.'
They let out a series of 'ohs.' The dots easily connecting for them. They never heard you mention anyone in first year, plus you dormed with them so their was no way they wouldn't of noticed someone you were dating.
"See. Not a big deal," you kicked your foot into Katsuki's. Annoyed at how he made it seem. They didn't know before because it was irrelevant. You often forgot about it entirely until he threw it in your face as a joke.
"Still, didn't you have a crush on him then?" Sero pointed out.
Making Katsuki turn his attention back on you, "Did you?" Another thing that wasn't shared
"Yes," you looked at him for a moment, "Hence why the relationship was nothing." You and Katsuki never got deep into the discussion of when your feelings started. Just deciding to date after agreeing on mutual feelings and never really resurfacing it.
You looked back at your smore, you've been absentmindedly rotating it, a little too low into the fire. It was charred. You pulled it back to sadly put into a smore. Looking at Katsuki ready marshmallow before making yours.
"Awh," you pouted, "Can we trade? Your looks better," you basically pleaded.
With a huff he gave in, "Fine."
"Thank you," you smiled at him happily. Putting your mostly charred marshmallow into his less chocolatey smore and putting his golden brown marshmallow into your chocolate heavy smore.
You looked back at the group after handing Katsuki his smore. Happy with the new arrangement.
They were in disbelief, Denki speaking up first, "We're not just moving past your previous relationship, are we?"
"Why does it matter?" Katsuki butt in, confused about how this turned into an entire conversation.
"How does it not matter?" Sero shot back, "Your entire relationship is a lie."
Katsuki rolled his eyes, "Not really. It's one small thing that you didn't know."
"It was a dumb middle school relationship," you filled in.
"Yeah, a relationship before Bakugo," Mina added on, "I need details."
Now you were rolling your eyes, "I don't even remember his name at this point, it's been like five years," you dismissed.
"You player," Denki cut in. You gave him a 'really' look, "Hey! I remember their names."
"I dated him for a week before we 'broke up,' it was hardly a relationship. I think we just dated for a school dance," you shrugged, biting into the smore Katsuki made for you. Melting into your seat at the sweet taste.
"Why'd you break up?" Kirishima questioned for the first time.
You smirked, glancing at Katsuki who was already shaking his head. Glad that the conversation could be flipped back onto him. "This dude," you pointed your thumb at him over your shoulder, looking at the group to see their reaction, "Scared him off by barking. Seems like a habit he hasn't lost."
Denki started cracking up, hunching over and spilling his beer sightly, "Why do you do that?" he laughed harder seeing Katsuki's face scrunch.
"He was dropped on his head," you answered for him.
Denki fell over sideways in his chair, the alcohol clearly making him laugh harder than usual. He always laughed when you and Katsuki bickered, but never this hard.
"Fuck you," Katsuki spat at you, "Shouldn't of given you my smore."
"You're the one that started this conversation," you shrugged, patting your stomach, "Smore was delicious though. Would of been a waste on your lame tastebuds."
"My tastebuds are normal," he argued. Kirishima laughed. "What?" Katsuki growled at him.
"Bro, you chug protein drinks and don't even wince," Kirishima answered.
"Cause I'm not a little bitch," Katsuki defended.
You and Mina cringed. "I can't believe you kiss that guy," Mina looked at you face holding pure disgust. You snorted out a laugh at Katsuki's face.
"Me either," you agreed, likely for different reasons.
"That's it," Katsuki stood up, standing in his classic gremlin stance. Arms out, hands up, and knees bent. He sparked his hands briefly, which made you oldy relived. It was nice to know he didn't have the watch constantly turning his quirk off, that wouldn't be good for him. "I'll kill you all," he stepped straight past you and marched to the others.
Denki scrambled behind a chair, pointing out at you when Katsuki stormed past you, "How come she doesn't?"
"She has to go home with me, she'll get it," Katsuki stomped towards the electric blonde. You blushed at the way Katsuki said it, knowing the others would think of it the same way as you.
"Ew," Sero gagged, "I don't want to hear about your sex life."
Katsuki's hand sparked brighter, "That's not what I meant!"
"Sureee," Mina teased, sending you a wink, "Hear that, you're gonna get it later."
You were bright red at this point. "Shut it," Katsuki all but shouted, running towards Mina. Quickly chasing her around the campsite. Mina using her acid to slide further away from him.
---
After Katsuki successfully singed everyone at least one, they gave in. Kirishima, Sero, and Denki all having cried 'uncle' when Katsuki twisted their arm behind their back. Winning easily due to them all being wasted. Katsuki quickly yelled at them to go to bed. Wanting them to sleep before the group hike early tomorrow so they were back in time to pack up to go back home.
Just like everyone else, you stumbled into the tent, similar to how you did the night before. Barely able to unzip the tent to get in, having Katsuki open it for you
"You're a mess," Katsuki chuckled, zipping the tent close behind him after he saw you stumble in.
You grumbled, grabbing the ends of your shirt and raising it above your head. It was dark enough so he'd hardly see as well as anything he would see, he saw earlier in the pond. Which was a lot more intimate than this. You also had the liquid courage of wine in your system.
"What are you doing?" Katsuki hissed.
"Huh?" you turned to look at him, shirt off your head and in your hands.
"Oh god," Katsuki snapped his head the other direction, his quirk sparking off before he quickly fumbled for his watch, turning his quirk off. "Put a shirt on."
You reach to grab your bag off the floor, setting it on the bed to put your shirt back in, grabbing a sleep shirt, "Why does it bug you?"
"Your half naked," he exclaimed in a hushed tone, not wanting the others to overhear despite them being at least twenty feet away.
"Need I remind you of the pond?" you raised your brow at him, but followed his wish. Pulling your shirt back over your head.
"That's different," he argued, looking back at you.
"I was also in a swimsuit all day," you pointed out, unhooking your bra from under your shirt.
He flushed so bright you could see it well even in the dark, "Will you stop that?"
"I'm just getting cozy," you shrugged, "You could do the same y'know?"
You pulled off your pants to slip on your sleep shorts.
"Oh my god," he groaned. You would of laughed at his dramatics but he was covering his eyes at this point.
"What's so bad about it?" you asked softly.
"You're half naked," he repeated.
You crossed your arms over your stomach, "And that's a problem?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed. Exclaimed. Eyes still covered.
"Y'know," you paused for a shaky breath, "you make me feel so insecure."
"What?" he dropped his hands from his eyes.
You looked down, "You're acting disgusted by my body."
"What?" he repeated, "That's not what-"
"Yes it is Katsuki," you cut him off. You could physically feel like heart drop at you calling him his full name and not just Kats. "You're covering your eyes and telling me to cover up. You'd think my boyfriend," you emphasized, "of three years wouldn't be appalled at the idea of my body. "
"You've got it all wrong," he step towards you, you taking a step back.
"Do I?"
"Yes, extremely," he nodded, frustrated.
"Then explain it to me," you offered, "Jolting away from my touch and hugs all these years and now wishing me to not show my skin."
"Fuck," he rubbed his hand over his face, taking a step closer to you, "I just can't handle it. It's too much for me," he admitted.
"I'm going to need you to elaborate."
"It's overwhelming, becomes all I can think about," he took a step closer, and you let him. Arms still crossed as you looked up at him. "I want you more than anything, fuck, more than being number one."
You dropped your arms to your sides, "What?" you asked softly.
"I can't let you touch me for too long because then I just want more. Can't look too long or I'll want to see more," he spoke softly, "it's fucking annoying."
"Then why haven't we..." you left off, knowing he got the hint.
"I'm fuckin scared," he ran his hands through his hair.
"Kats, there nothing to be scared of, " you tried to comfort, "What could the symbol of strength possibly be scared of?"
"Of just that."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm worried I'm going to fuckin' blow you up or something," he blurted.
You paled, expecting anything but that.
"Fuckin' see?" he sat down roughly on the air mattress, resting his elbows on his knees as he held his head in his hands.
You took a seat next to him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "Why have you never told me?" you asked gently.
"Didn't want to bother you with this stupid shit," he slapped his hands down, looking over at you.
"It's not stupid," you shook your head at him.
"I should be over it at our grown ass age," he huffed, his eyes were getting bloodshot.
"How are you going to get over something you've never addressed?" you pointed out. Dragging his hands away from his eyes when he tried to rub at them. "Why do you think you'll do that?"
"I can't fucking control it, you see my quirk go off," he stared down at his hands.
"Do you know why it does?" you were trying to figure him out, for his sake and yours.
He sighed, "I get freaked out," he paused for a while, "I get nervous then I start freaking out about my quirk going off and it does."
"I don't see it happening in interviews?" you questioned, knowing he gets anxious in those.
He gave you a blank stare, "What are you? Stupid?"
"Hey!"
"I get nervous around you," he spelt out, "This shit only happens around you."
You flushed from head to toe. All you could do was stare at him dumbly. Mei was right. His quirk went off because of you. You couldn't help the light smile that crossed your face.
"The fuck you smilin' for?"
"I honestly just relived," you confessed, "I thought your quirk going off meant that you wanted me as far away as possible, since when I got too close you pushed me away."
"You'd think your quirk would help your dumbass brain but it doesn't," he looked at you in disbelief, "Why would I be with you?"
"It's also why I thought you kept bring up the physical touch thing," you shrugged, "Thought you were using it as your way out of the relationship."
"Why would of put up with your shit if I didn't want you?" he pointed out.
"Y'know, Mei brought up the same points," you laughed.
He groaned, "Mei knows?"
"Sorry," you apologized, "It was eating me up inside."
"It's fine," he brushed off, "I'm sorry too, didn't really think about what you thought was going on till recently."
"It's fine," you stifled a yawn.
"Tired?"
"Very," you admitted.
"Sleep, we have an early mornin'," he motioned to the bed. You happily moved up the bed, happy to get cozy under the covers next to him after he changed into his sleepwear. Watching the way the small light of the flashlight, used to light your way to the tent, created shadows over the span of his back. It was always a welcomed site to see. It felt even better now, knowing that he wanted you in the same way you wanted him.
"It's fuckin' cold," you mumbled, holding the blanket over your cheeks as you curled up.
Without saying a word, Katsuki pulled you into his side. He was a human furnace, so you instantly melted into his side. Flushed with the closeness. Having gone three years with no touch, to making out in a pond and cuddling in bed together in the same day.
The relief the conversation gave you was insane, you no longer felt disgusted and you no longer felt like he wanted out of the relationship.
This camping trip lifted more than a small weight off your shoulders, but all the insecurities and worries of your relationship along with it. Progress in the right direction could finally be made, rather than the stand still you've been at this entire time.
You let out a sigh of relief, curling into his side more as you let sleep cloud your brain.
-Next Part-
I did not expect this to be so damn long, fuck. I've written this in two days and it's literally the longest thing I've ever written for a chapter. I hoped you like the camping trip, it was fun to write and I hope I illustrated it well enough. Thank you <3
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
@ldk3347 @suki0 @ez4ra @mithicakurogo @aomi04 @ellielover69 @minori-taiga1 @54fangirl @zoast32 @mushroomsneedystuff @kazuumii @snxwflwr @keiva1000 @thescarletwallflower @juicyfingers @atashiboba @ofcqdesi @americasass1942 @kaboomkayla @ilovedenk-i @iamyoursonly @albakugo @venusluvslove @fairiesgloss @limitedstar @i-bitch-you-bitch @drageonix24 @sweetpandabiscuitrebel @sinyaaa @xreiiss @oddball08 @imsuperawkward @lomlchi @anime-manga-fanatic @irlpadfoot @lord-goosifur @chocoyanchan @gollumsmygel @yuptha-tsme @icedemon1314 @alstrums @suki0 @yesiamrobbysimp @supersecretsamm @maeveorsomethinggg @ivuriexo
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just-a-ghost00 · 7 months ago
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A glimpse at your FS
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Group 1
Channeled songs : Youtiful - Stray Kids, Mon Amour - GEMINI, Life goes on - AGUSTD Cards : 8 of pentacles, 2 of wands, Temperance, The Wildling, The Outlaw, Love
Lives at a distance from you, cultural differences, likes to travel for fun.
Apogender (doesn't relate to the notion of gender and has no defined gender, doesn't care about what gender people attribute to them) / genderfluid looks / unisex clothing.
Successful at their work place, feels like they can't be themselves at work.
Closed heart chakra, isn't ready to open up to other people.
Longs for deep connections, very sociable but always feels lonely, only has a small number of "friends". Has a very unconventional view of relationships and love or feels like they can't find their match romantically. Feels like an outcast.
Likes to go on long walks, enjoys spending time alone, tends to keep people at arms length.
Chris / Chan from Stray Kids vibes.
Possible meaningful locations : East Asia / Central Asia / Europe / North Africa / Latin America
Developped 5D connection, astral travelling, connecting through dreams or receiving messages from them at night because of time difference.
Very patient in relationships, longs for someone who can understand them but also call them out when needed.
Looks for fun and surprising connections in which they can feel safe and free to be themselves.
They want someone that will be loyal and trustworthy but will keep them on their toes.
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Extras : Sagittarius, Gemini, numbers 2/5/8/14, snakes, masks, knives, crosses, blades, cactus, steampunk, boots
💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️
Group 2
Channeled songs : Connected - Bangchan, Comflex - Stray Kids, Lose my breath SKZ version Cards : 2 of pentacles rx, The Star, King of pentacles, The Alchemist, The Seeker, The Explorer
Possible careers / hobbies : arts / influencers / modeling
Well established, possibly famous or at least people in their field look up to them. High status, very experienced.
High level manifestor, high achiever in all areas of life except for love. They have a lot of knowledge and a lot of skills but when it comes to love they're a noob.
Game of Thrones references, especially Jon Snow vibes ("You know nothing Jon Snow").
You are already aware of who they are and they are aware of your existence but they're either ignoring the signs or downright ignoring you. They're not ready and/or they're scared of the connection.
You both have been manifesting this connection. While you are expectant and wanting to move forward with them, they are freaking out because they were not expecting you so soon.
Their energy is all over the place. They're engaged in a lot of projects, events, activities. They don't have time in their schedule to have a love life on top of that.
You throw them off their balance because you're everything they could ever wish for and they were not expecting to be able to have their wish granted, because whether they want to admit it or not this person has been manifesting you and praying for you.
They have a flirty, social butterfly type of energy. They have been indulging in connections, looking out for their person only to find out that they weren't the one. They've done nothing but flirting. They noticed very quickly that this wasn't gonna work so they quickly gave up. They were a busy bee, flying from flower to flower, never really finding their kind of nectar.
They are very spiritual, though they are constantly working on their material life. They receive a lot of downloads from their guides.
A part of them doubts the connection. They feel like it's too good to be true. Also they're too conscious of the differences between you. They're scared of the public opinion.
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Extras : letters C/S/T, numbers 2/8/17, wolves, stars, crows, ravens, hands, bracelets and rings, compass, teeth, cranes, Aquarius, difference of status, overseas
💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️💙✨️
Group 3
Channeled songs : Comflex - Stray Kids, Comfortable - H.E.R, Mon Amour - GEMINI Cards : Underworld rx, destruction rx, Speak truth, knight of cups, queen of swords, The Star
Recently got out of a dark night of the soul / depression.
Is learning to set boundaries and express their truth without fear of being rejected.
Very giving and fair person that only wishes to connect with and love people but life has given them a hard time. They find it hard to believe that people can be genuinely nice to them with no ulterior motive.
They tend to hide their emotional side more nowadays because they're afraid of being taken advantage of. They might be neurodivergent or struggle with ASD.
They are very feminine in their energy. They are deeply connected to their emotions to the point that it can often overwhelm them. They are deeply empathetic and sympathetic. They can sometimes feel other people's pain as if it were their own.
Highly spiritual, highly emotionally intelligent person but also very clever, witty, often sarcastic.
Huge Scorpio vibes.
Will Graham vibes.
Has a hard time being vulnerable with other people, struggles with the notions of intimacy and beauty. Yet, they're extremely beautiful inside and out.
Has a very clear and charming voice. Enjoys singing, chatting about their interests.
Possible careers / hobbies : psychic / healer / doctor / teacher / music / writing poetry / influencer / fishing / research / sharing knowledge
Lives at a distance from you, possibly near an important body of water.
Though they wish for romance, they're not really looking at potential partners and they don't put themselves out there. They're waiting for the right person to just show up out of nowhere, like some kind of white rabbit coming out of a hat.
They have the potential of being a very important public figure, maybe even being super famous but they don't believe in themselves enough at this moment to reach that potential. They're not really interested in fame but I feel it is part of their destiny. They're on their way to manifest greater success.
Alice in Wonderland vibes, only they're the Mad Hatter when people think they're the innocent and naive "little girl" chasing after rabbits. People tend to underestimate their power.
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Extras : Gemini, Aquarius, letters C / S, numbers 8/17, long hair, water, owls, hands, scars, wings, crosses, cranes, horses, swords, long and flowy dresses, jewelry
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thelov3lybookworm · 3 months ago
Text
Reputation to uphold
Day 5: No need for poetry.
Summary: Hiding the letters is his first priorities.
•○●⛦●○•
Word Count: 1368
Warnings: fluff, azzie being a shy baby 🥹
A/n: i loved writing this hehehe (i wrote most of this in 40 mins 💀)
@azrielappreciationweek
ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
"I missed this, mama." Hazel sighed, pulling away her cup of hot chocolate. Azriel smiled, looking over at his daughter, sitting next to his now son in law, Kaden.
What did I say? He was going to take away my daughter.
Y/n raised her brows. "It’s barely been a week since you’ve last had it."
Hazel grimaced. "Yeah, and his hot chocolate does not compare."
"Hey that’s mean!" Kaden sputtered, choking on his own drink.
"Yeah, stop being mean to my son."
Hazel rolled her eyes, turning to her father.
"Dad, come on, tell me a story." She had always been fond of listening to stories, and Az, wanting to make his daughter happy, had begun the new habit of telling stories every night.
Azriel glanced at his wife as she settled in next to him, warmth spreading in his chest. No matter how long they’d been married for, even just the sight of Y/n filled Azriel with happiness. Just as it had back when he had first seen her in the market, giggling with her friends over something.
"What do you want to hear about?"
Hazel leaned back, contemplating before perking up. "How you met mom and got married."
Azriel’s cheeks warmed, and he prayed his wife did not notice.
"Look dad, you’ve always said I was too young to know, but now I am even married. I want to know."
Azriel sighed, looking to his wife for help.
"Yeah Az, I wanna know the story too." Y/n grinned, not meeting his eyes.
Knowing he would not be allowed to leave without reliving his most embarrassing moments, he got comfortable in his chair.
"I saw her in the market one day. She was with her friends, and I instantly knew I was going to marry her one day."
She had been so ethereal, and she was in just a simple flowy dress. Her hair had been pinned out of her face, the breeze softly playing with the strands the way Azriel wished he could. Her smile, it could have brought him to his knees. And her sparkling eyes spoke of kindness far more louder than actions, the love and compassion for her fellow fae shining through every blink.
"Did you ever write her love letters and poetry?"
Azriel scoffed, focusing on the dark dregs at the bottom of his cup. "Me? I don’t have to resort to poetry."
Azriel felt his wife’s gaze on him, and he could picture her perfectly, sitting there, eyebrows raised in a are you sure about that? gesture.
"Yeah, he just ended up drowning in the river trying to impress me."
Azriel turned to glare at Y/n accusingly, who simply shrugged. "Now Az, lying is bad. Someone has to tell the truth."
Azriel grumbled, then again began. This time, truthfully. "Feyre needed some paint supplies from the market, and because I was free, I offered to get them for her."
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Azriel never thought he would ever ask someone for a romantic day out. After all, he never had to do that. He would just give females a glance and they would ask him to spend time with them themselves.
But this time, it was not happening. The female in the market square barely spared him a glance when he sidled up to her, pretending to look at all the brightly coloured pots on display at the stand she was giggling with her friends over.
"Y/n, that pot would look so good with your couch!"
Y/n. That name would certainly look good with Azriel’s name next to it.
"Yes Cindy, I’m going to cook on my couch."
Azriel smiled down at the pot in his hands, biting his cheek.
"It certainly is beautiful though." He mumbled, voice low so only Y/n could hear as her two other friends started bickering. He felt her stiffen before she glanced at him.
"That it is. But I don’t think I’m in need of more things."
Azriel swallowed, nodding. "You live near?"
Finally, he gathered the courage to meet her narrowed eyes. "Why do you ask?"
He smiled with a confidence he did not feel. "Where will I pick you up from for our dinner tomorrow then if you don’t tell me?"
She reared back as if his words had a physical impact on him.
"I- I’m sorry, I’m not interested."
Azriel blinked. But before he could say anything, she had grabbed her friends’ hands and dragged them away.
But from the slight blush on her face, he knew that he only needed to try and she would agree.
He bought the pot she had been eyeing so longingly just moments before, then hurried to go get the paints Feyre had asked for.
He was so sure he wouldn’t have to resort to poetry.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
The next day, Azriel was back at the market square, trying to figure out which direction she had gone. He had probably been wandering around aimlessly when he spotted the beautiful head of the lady he was so enthralled by.
"Hey. Pleasant day." He said as he fell in step beside the unsuspecting female.
She jumped, wide, frantic eyes meeting his own. Exasperation spread through her features as she realised it was him.
"You- what are you doing here?"
He shrugged, grinning as he held his gloved hand out. "I’m Azriel."
Her brows furrowed. She probably thought Azriel was loose in the head. "Y/n."
"Beautiful name for a beautiful lady."
She sighed. "Look, I’ve already told you I’m not interested."
"Why not?"
She paused. "I don’t like males who think they’re entitled to my time."
He nodded sagely. "Me neither. I hate people like that. But look at this like this, I want to get to know you. Maybe this could be something-"
She sighed. "No. Sorry."
Azriel’s palms turned sweaty. He had found her again, he did not want to let her go without getting something out of this. Even one evening of talking was enough. "I- I am the high lord’s shadowsinger."
Her gaze hardened. "Are you threatening me?"
His eyes widened. "No! I could never! I’m just trying…"
"Trying what?"
"To make you interested in me. It has worked before."
She rolled her eyes. "I don’t like males who try to entice me by stating their high powers."
Panic seized Azriel. This was going very wrong very quickly, and he did not like it one bit.
"I did not mean it that way-"
"Really, sir, I do not care what you meant and what you didn’t. Just leave me alone."
Azriel was left gaping after her, breathing heavy.
Fuck.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Azriel balled up another paper, throwing it behind him before clutching his head.
He had decided that being arrogant and trying to keep up his records of never having to resort to poetry would not help him.
Your eyes like the sun,Shining so beautiful,Your hair like waterfall,You-
Was Azriel truly so bad at poetry?
He was doomed.
She wouldn’t give him the time of day, evident by her refusal to even acknowledge him the three times he had tried to interact with her after that day at the market, and he was losing hope. He had sent countless letters and poems already to her house through his shadows, and he still had received no response.
Maybe he was well and truly doomed.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
"You know, I still have all those letters and poems."
Azriel’s head whipped to look at his wife, eyes wide. "Why?"
She shrugged, getting up from the couch and taking the cup from Hazel and kaden, both who grinned unabashedly.
"You think I would burn or throw away letters of desperation sent by the spymaster?" Y/n snorted. "Let me get them for you, children."
"No!" Azriel semi-yelled, shooting to his feet before dashing into their bedroom, hoping to stop her before she even tried to reveal all his secrets.
Loud laughter followed the frantic spymaster, but he did not care. All he cared about was finding those letters and burning them, or maybe atleast hiding them away so his wife couldn’t tease him about it.
He had a reputation to uphold, after all.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
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