#freak therapist

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Once I was listening to a podcast and one of the hosts was like “the key to confidence isn’t never making mistakes and knowing everything, but making mistakes and being totally okay w the fact because everyone makes mistakes and it’s not a statement about your worth” and oh my god okay. My trauma bond w shame is dying a slow death.

[sweetestflow3rs]

a bump in the day

[scarletdreamers]

''Is Hannibal in love with me?''

To which Bedelia answers her famous quote that ultimately ends with: ''Yes.'' Yes, he is in love with you. (You righteous, reckless, twitchy little man)

Now many people (myself included) heard this for the first time and thought, yes of course Will. Jezus fucking Christ, you only realise that now? NOW?

The thing about that scene is that Will knew. Of course he knew. He knows Hannibal better than any other person in the world. Of course Will knew that Hannibal was in love with him, he knew it wayyy before that little talk he had with Bedelia. Will is far from dumb, neither is he oblivious. He knows Hannibal's mind like the back of his hand. Their entire relationship is built on that unnatural and extreme understanding that they have of one another. The ability to see right through each other's person suits and armours and look right into one another's hearts.

So, no, of course Will didn't finally realise it during that 'therapy' session with Bedelia, but why did he ask her? Because he needed confirmation. Will is a man with a lot of doubts. He doubts everything, about himself and about others. He's torn between two personalities, two sides, constantly. Two versions of himself. Of who he is, who he wants and who he's supposed to be. He doubts everything and his relationship with Hannibal is also built on mistrust. Unaltering loyalty, yes, but mistrust because of everything they went through. And, mind you, he hasn't seen or spoken to Hannibal for three years during that session. In his mind, Bedelia can tell him whether the things he used to be sure of but doubts now are still true. He needs to hear the answer said out loud. He needs confirmation. Will has been mistrusted, disbelieved and made out for a liar and mentally unstable man so often that his self doubt goes far enough to reach his idea of the way Hannibal perceives him. He needs to know for sure before he goes and choses what he's going to do. Whose side he will take. He is going to let Hannibal escape, knowing that it'll destroy his own life which he built up in those three years, and he needs to know if what he does is right. He needs confirmation that Hannibal really is in love with him and is not just using him to escape or as an experiment. He thinks Bedelia is the person to tell him that, because she's second on the list of those who know Hannibal best. And since she isn't a part of the 'pact', of the relationship, she can comment on it as an outsider.

That's why, at the very last, Will asks Bedelia if Hannibal loves him. Not because he doesn't know it, or because he didn't believe it, but because he needed to be certain before he went and chose Hannibal's side. He knows there's no way back. He needs to know that, even from an outside point of view, the feelings are mutual and that it's right to, in the end, choose him.

[scoobydoodean]

I just wish he trusted me. Tell me again how weak I am. How I hold you back.

Supernatural | 4.08, 4.10, 4.14, 4.15, 4.16, 4.18, 4.21

[grrbrainsorwhatever]

Freak sitcom enjoyer over here let’s all kill him !!!

Yeah yeah I’m a sitcom enjoyer whateverrrr I’m still cool

[rikamae]

I understand now. I understand all of it.

All those times politicians claimed something was "too complicated" "not that simple" "we don't have the money" it's all lies to keep us complacent.

They did it about the situation is Israel. "It's too complicated" everyone said. It didn't look complicated when I did my own research, away from those shitty think pieces talking down to me. Israel was a state built off the blood of Palestinians, and they simply do not want you to think about it. Because there is oil in the middle east and Israel is our only "Ally"

Wow, so complicated! The complicated part being that our media is tricking us into thinking this is so complex so they can be evil in plain sight: yes, so complicated of a situation!!

And today I wake up to find that the House of Representatives (the lowest level of US government) has passed a bill offering 14 billion to Israel! It will go to the Senate to vote. Wow, billion with a B huh? I got a question for you.

Where the fuck did we get enough money to fund genocide? Where the hell was all this money when it comes to supporting the Americans you politicians claim to be representing? Where was this money for free college, universal Healthcare, covid precautions, the climate crisis??

"It's just too complicated! You'll make us do cuts on other programs! You'll make us raise taxes!! Think of the taxes!!!"

Then where did this money come from? Oh, the IRS, the fucking company that handles our taxes??? Yeah????? That was an option? Why wasn't it an option before but it is now? Were they over funded and we just didn't notice until now? Or are you taking advantage of the situation to cut funding to another service you hate?? The point being: if they really want something, they can find the fucking money. They haven't because they don't want to.

It's never been complicated. It's their job to move money around. It's their fucking job to raise our taxes and provide for us, but the only people they truly represent are the ones filling their pockets with lobby money. They could have done this long ago, given us what we've been demanding, but they coddled us and said it was too complicated and our baby brains couldn't handle it. And God forbid you be a woman!! That means you're double unable to understand!

Enough. Fucking enough. Every year congress votes to increase their wages and refuses to raise our minimum wage. Every year they take advantage of their medical insurance and benefits they get for "representing" us when nearly every adult I know is left to suffer with their conditions: untreated sicknesses, chronic conditions, the depression that looms over us because we live in the most wealthy country in the world but we can't make ends meet and our government is more concern with funding armies that feeding and housing us

Politics was never complicated. They just told us it was. To shut us up. To make us feel young and idealistic and stupid. And we fell for it. And now evil is moving through the wills of our leaders IN OUR FUCKING NAMES to support a genocide in the middle east. Their only crime was being born on that land. Their only crime is being Arab. That's not a fucking crime.

Our system isn't complicated. It's working as intended. Keep the people blind and claim that it's too hard, leave all the details to them. But we are smarter than they are. We are informed. The world is connected like never before and I refuse to let their propaganda ever reach me again.

Hold them accountable. Know their names. Write it in the history books. Let their legacy be known to the end of times.

Be loud about your anger. Go to protests. Write your reps to tell them your vote is on the line. And for God's sake vote in the damned elections!

THE IDEA THAT YOUR VOTE DOESN'T MATTER IS PROPOGANDA. THEY WANT YOU TO FEEL USELESS. THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE UP SO THEY STAY IN POWER.

They want you to think it's complicated. It never has been. Be loud. Vote. Use your right to protest. Use your right to free speech. Use your right to petition. Next Tuesday is election day. Make it fucking count.

[autisticlee]

"just be yourself" has always been one of my most hated things to hear from someone. it may sound simple and easy to you, but when you grew up never able formed a single solid personality (because you grew up autistic or for some other reason) and/or have always felt more like 20 different personalities in a trench coat who fight over who is supposed to be in charge, that "simple" advice is so much less simple.....it can even seem impossible.

[arduousflame]

Grounding

A quiet whimper seeped through the closed door, sharp and raw. Rook froze mid-step. She had been on her way to check on Bellara, worried about how the elf was coping with her brother’s second death. But the sound sent her heart racing.

The Archive. Her first thought was that it had gone rogue. Without a second’s hesitation, Rook flung the door open, panic surging in her chest—only to find Bellara crumpled on the floor, head in her hands, her shoulders trembling.

“Bell!” Rook dropped to her knees, sliding across the floor to reach her. She pulled Bellara into her arms, not waiting for permission.

Bellara gasped, trying to push her away. “I’m fine! I’m—Rook, I’m fine! Please—just—” But the broken words collapsed into full sobs, fresh tears streaking her cheeks. The kohl she meticulously applied every morning ran in dark rivulets down her face, smudging as she wiped at her eyes with shaking hands.

“You’re not fine, Bell,” Rook said softly, refusing to let go. “And that’s okay. I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Bellara sagged against her, her resistance melting as grief took over. The sobs wracked her body, silent at first, then building in intensity as the barriers she had so carefully erected crumbled. “It’s just— I miss him, Rook! He was gone, and I found peace. And— and then I could hope again. Just for it all to end like that?”

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed in the hallway outside. Rook remembered the others had been wanting to train in the open center of the Lighthouse. Some were eager to release pent-up energy.

The door burst open, Davrin storming in, sword drawn, his sharp gaze scanning for danger. Lucanis was right behind him, hand hovering over his dagger, his expression tense and ready.

They froze.

Bellara was still weeping, curled into Rook’s arms like a child. And Rook, though trying her best to stay composed, was visibly struggling herself. Her lips moved as she whispered soothing words, her hand gently stroking the back of Bellara’s neck in slow, calming motions.

Rook turned her head toward the men. She shook her head at them, tightening her hold on Bellara and motioning sharply toward the door.

Lucanis immediately stepped back, understanding without a word. He glanced at Davrin, who hesitated, his grip on his sword loosening.

“Later,” Lucanis murmured, tapping the Warden on the shoulder. “Let’s give them space.”

Davrin’s jaw tightened, about to protest, but he nodded and sheathed his weapon. As he followed Lucanis out, Rook mouthed a silent thank you before turning her full attention back to Bellara. He bowed his head in reply. There was no need to explain grief to him.

The room grew quiet again as the door clicked shut, leaving only the sound of Bellara’s soft sobbing and Rook’s voice.

“It’s okay,” Rook murmured. “Let it go, Bell. Let it all out.”

And Bellara did, clinging to Rook as though she were the only thing anchoring her to the ground in the floating building in the Fade.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed—long enough for her legs to cramp from sitting on the floor, folded together like they were. Rook’s chin rested atop Bellara’s head, her hands still moving in steady, soothing patterns up and down the elf’s back. Gradually, Bellara’s sobs shifted to quiet sniffles, then to soft, uneven breaths. Finally, she fell silent, her body relaxing against Rook’s.

A gentle knock broke the stillness, and the door creaked open to reveal Harding poking her head inside. “Hey, Bellara… I’ve got some tea ready. Think you’re up for drinking a bit?”

Bellara stirred, slowly pulling herself out of Rook’s embrace. She wiped hastily at her reddened, tear-streaked face, as though trying to erase the evidence of her pain.

“Lace… Yes, please,” she rasped, her voice rough and barely audible.

“Good. Here you go.” Harding stepped into the room, carrying a mug of steaming tea. She placed it firmly into Bellara’s hands, as if daring her to refuse. “Lucanis is making some soup too. It’ll be ready soon if you feel up for it later.”

As Bellara sipped the tea, Harding prattled on, her cheerful voice filling the room. Rook stretched her legs out in front of her, grimacing slightly at the ache. She leaned back on her palms and offered Harding a tired but grateful smile.

“Let’s get some fresh air, huh? Or as much air this place allows.” Harding suggested brightly, her sharp eyes flicking between the two women. “I’ve got some plants that need tending to. You could keep me company, Bell, maybe take a nap under the canopy? The greenery might do you some good.”

Harding reached for Bellara’s hand, her own smaller fingers curling firmly around the elf’s. With a playful tug, she tried to haul Bellara to her feet. The height difference made the effort almost comical—Harding was easily half Bellara’s size. Apparently even in the floating Lighthouse in the Fade, some laws of physics still applied.

Rook leaned in with a gentle push to Bellara’s back. “Go on,” she said encouragingly.

That small nudge was enough to tip the balance—literally. Bellara staggered upright, swaying slightly as Harding’s determined pull and Rook’s push sent her teetering. The two of them wobbled unsteadily for a moment, the dwarf’s stout frame nearly toppling under Bellara’s height.

“Easy there,” Harding quipped, planting her feet with a mock-serious frown. “Not all of us are built for giant-tree-sized elves.”

A faint, reluctant chuckle escaped Bellara, and Rook couldn’t help but smile herself at the sound. It was small, but it was a start. Rook knew it would take longer than tonight to heal the hurt Cyrian had left behind. Or the hurt any other of them carried.

Still, she could only be proud of this rag tag team they formed.

“Come on, then,” Harding said, already leading the way with Bellara in tow. “The plants are waiting, and so is the supposedly fresh air. You’ve got to let yourself breathe sometime, you know. Remind me to never ask metaphysical questions again to Emmrich. I have dealt with enough mind-shattering discoveries lately to last me the rest of my lifetime”

Rook stayed seated for a moment longer, watching the two women leave the room, before she dragged herself of the floor to follow. She could hear Harding continue on: “Oh, did I tell you about the dream I had last night? It was so weird..”

The sight of Bellara leaning just slightly on Harding, her steps slow but steady, gave Rook a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, they’d all find their footing again.

She followed them from a distance, back to the dining hall. The smells of Lucanis’ cooking greeted them in the courtyard. The hall was almost empty, just Davrin witling and sulking on the couch next to the fireplace, and Lucanis at the stove. The warden jumped up when Bellara and Harding walked in.

Rook looked in from the edges of the room, seeing how Harding and Davrin now tutted about the elf. Lucanis offered her a bowl of soup, before grabbing more for Harding and Davrin. Bellara’d be fine now.

Quietly, Rook turned and slipped away, heading back to Bellara’s room. It was in disarray, she had noticed when she had first walked in, papers scattered haphazardly across the desk and floor, a scarf thrown over the back of a chair, and books left open where Bellara had been writing earlier.

Rolling up her sleeves, Rook set about tidying the space. She gathered the papers into neat piles, folded the scarf with care, and closed the books, stacking them neatly on the desk. The rhythmic, methodical movements gave her mind a reprieve.

When she finally stepped back and looked around the now-tidied room, she allowed herself a small smile. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“How is it going?” Lucanis leaned casually against the doorframe, though his eyes followed her every move around the empty room. When had he walked in? She must have been busier longer than she thought.

“Bell’s in good hands now,” Rook replied without looking up, her hands busy tidying the haphazard stacks of papers in Bellara’s room. “Emmrich and Harding brewed her a calming tea. After a nap, she should be feeling a bit better.”

She kept her tone matter-of-fact, focusing on the task at hand. It was easier than thinking too much.

Lucanis must have stepped closer without her noticing —again, damn, she was losing her edge. Viago would skin her if he ever found out—because suddenly, his hands were gently taking the papers from hers. He placed them back on the desk and then, before she could react, took hold of her hands. His grip was firm but gentle, his thumbs tracing slow circles against her wrists.

“Bellara will be okay,” he said softly, his voice as steady as his gaze. “It might take time, but she’s hewn from strong wood, that one.” He paused, his dark eyes searching hers, unwavering. “I wasn’t talking about Bellara, though. I was asking about you.”

The question hung in the air between them, weighty and unavoidable. Rook opened her mouth to deflect, but the way his gaze held her—gentle but unrelenting—made the words catch in her throat. She forced a small, tight smile.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, her voice lacking conviction.

Lucanis tugged on her hands, just enough to draw her attention fully to him. “Try again.”

The quiet insistence in his voice disarmed her. She hesitated, the silence between them stretching. She could feel his thumbs still moving in slow, soothing circles, grounding her. It made the cracks in her armor impossible to ignore.

Her resolve faltered, and finally, she exhaled, the sound shaky and uneven. “I’m three breaths away from panicking and breaking down,” she admitted, her voice trembling as the words tumbled out. Her eyes filled with unshed tears, her carefully constructed walls crumbling under the weight of her confession. “i have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to be doing or how I’m going to get everyone out of this, in one piece. We’re up against gods, who fight even dirtier than Crows. None of this was something I was —am ready for. Fuck, Caterina might have given you an impossible contract. I don’t know what the hell Viago was thinking when he drew up mine.”

Lucanis didn’t let go. Instead, his hands tightened around hers, anchoring her. “There it is,” he murmured. His voice was quiet, but there was no mistaking the relief and understanding in his tone.

Her breath hitched, and she tried to pull away, instinctively retreating back into herself, but he held firm. “Rook,” he said. “You don’t have to hold it all together. Hold all of us together. On your own. We’re here, querida. ”

A tear slipped down her cheek, then another, until she could no longer fight the flood. She looked down, her shoulders trembling as the sob she’d been holding in broke free.

Lucanis stepped closer, closing the space between them. He let go of her hands only to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into a steady, unyielding embrace. Rook tensed at first, unused to the comfort — to be this close to him— but the warmth and strength of his hold slowly unraveled her resistance.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured against her hair. “It’s okay. You’ve carried enough.”

And for the first time in what felt like ages, Rook let herself lean into someone else.

He held her close for what felt like an age, his warmth slowly easing the tension in her own limbs.

When he finally let go, he held her at an arm’s width away.

“Now, your turn to go sleep,” he said as he turned her around, giving her a slight shove out of the room when she started to protest.

I’ll wake you in a few hours. You still remember the drills your trainers taught you?” Rook nodded, “How could I forget, why?”

His smile was warm. “We’ll run some drills then, together. It’ll help clear your mind. Now, off to bed.”

[hikaruchen]

Suicidal thoughts have been the first things I wake up to for years, too coward to actually take the move so no worries I guess but it’s to the point that I thought that happened to everybody. I thought it was just some normal thing that everybody had to get over with and I was simply too weak to defeat it. I thought everyone had a ghost in their mind that waved to them whenever they were awake and told them “Hey, ever heard of not waking up anymore? Good deal right” until seeing somewhere ppl saying things like life is good what is there to die for, and yeah I found myself not even able to find an answer to that but the thought just keeps on lingering, like it always does

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"women need to be meaner! Men shouldn't dictate a girls boundaries"

You couldn't handle Connie Maheswaran setting healthy (and much-needed) boundaries with her best friend. You freaking called her toxic and abusive. While season 3 of Amphibia is a hot mess Sasha Waybright being upset with Marcy isn't the problem! It makes sense she'd be pissed that she found out her friend borderline kidnapped her! Even if she can be read as kind of hypocritical, I think she has every reason to be upset! She's like what 14 at the oldest? In a terrifying situation?

It's always "set healthy boundaries" until they set boundaries with your favorite baby and don't spend 100% of their time supporting them/don't forgive their friends for their actions that hurt others

I'm sorry that Steven is your woobie child and Marcy is your comfort character but Connie and Sasha have a right to their feelings and a right to focus on their needs! It's always 'don't feel guilty about focusing on your needs' except not really because apparently focusing on yourself is actually selfish and it's morally wrong to feel certain ways about people! Connie isn't toxic- she acted really mature about the whole situation and while Sasha definitely is toxic- I think she has the right to be mad her friend borderline kidnapped her and broke her trust.

I am a firm believer in setting healthy boundaries and never letting anyone decide your boundaries for you especially when it comes to being supportive. Even if the person you are helping is a good person going through a rough patch you should still have boundaries with them- you can be supportive if you want but you should be your main priority in the need and as callous as it sounds it's not mandatory to give support to everyone especially if your being worn thin

[hardwiredd]

gonna be real i hate edgar x miles. i hate them by themselves. madeline x edgar x miles? epic, i love it. but madeline x edgar is so peak. only way to make it better is to add me brah

[pastelaspirations]

Heeey... Hi... How's it been going, hahah... Me? Oh, yeah, I've been fine, just uh. Functionally dead and uh. Not having a g r e a t time-

Why?? Well. Let's make this as short as possible.

My October was completely full of school assignments and I was drowning

During fall break, my mom's cousin came over to our house and knocked a 48 inch hole in my bedroom wall in search of a water leak that didn't exist. It's a long story-

I discovered a professor that my brother was close to passed away. It hit me kinda hard and I haven't been feeling great

My car started having lots of issues. Shuddering, check engine light turning on, the whole works. Got it repaired, cost $1000

I'm stressed about the holiday season coming up 'cus I haven't shopped for anyone at all and I have to entertain family members that I might rather n o t (This is all without mentioning finals coming up)

So. U h. Yeah. Haven't been having the best time. B u t. It's fine, it's great. I'm actually getting therapy soon. :D And not occupational therapy, or physical therapy, since I GOT TO DO THOSE TOO-

N a h. It's the "getting a phone call at 9 in the freaking morning to confirm an appointment for behavioral health." W h o o p e e.

A h e m. Sorry. Anyway. I'm good. I'm fine. Have a picture of the Beast that I should have freaking done for chapter 38, but was too lazy and didn't get around to it. So, how have you guys been doing. Participated in Inktobertale and having a good time, I hope-

[fishparasite]

i have therapy tomorrow god. "what have you been up to since our last session?" "well in the past few weeks i've been missing my friend more than anything. and also i've been watching films with necrophilia."

[dailykugisaki]

Day 332 | id in alt

More special than Gojo? Always, duh.

[knamfu]

bro is playing pjsk in school 😓

[rose022]

i just have lil guys in my head. creatures. that no one else is privy too