#francis bonnefoy imagine

[yawujin]

I was wondering if I could request how the Allies + Canada would react to meeting an immortal? (Not a personification - so could be vampire, witch, mutant (kinda like wolverine he's over 200 tears old), or any other immortal being). -🪽

request | how the allies would react to an immortal

type | react , gender non specific reader , sad-ish(?) , blood mention

america/alfred f. jones ♡

he's ecstatic

takes you to meet tony ofc

asks you like, a thousand questions on what it's been living for so many years

he can relate to you in so many ways, being a country himself

although he still feels so young (he's only 245 years old after all)

england/arthur kirkland ♡

arthur became instantly intrigued by you, seeing as you were a witch

he knew a few things about magic too, so he thought you two could relate

however, the magic you knew blew whatever he's learned out of the water

forgetting his pride, he goes to you for help whenever he messes up a spell

he truly enjoys your presence and is so grateful that he was able to meet you

france/francis bonnefoy ♡

francis couldn't believe his eyes

he thought he knew you from before, a long, long time ago

with every question he asked you, the more curious he became

even if you were not the person he thought you were

he's still interested in your life, and your endless experiences

he's happy to share his with you, too

canada/matthieu williams ♡

shocked that you came up to him first

even more shocked that you thought he stood out from the crowd

he tries to get over it quickly so he can listen to what you have to say

when you tell mattie you're an immortal, a million questions come flooding to the forefront of his mind

he's excited, sure, but he's also a diplomat so he takes it step by step

he's just happy you entrusted him with this secret of yours

russia/ivan braginsky ♡

when you reveal to ivan that your upbringing was just as hard as his

he finds it within himself to sympathize with you, and comfort you

you do the same, after a while realizing that it might be better to focus on the good things in your lives

he reminisces with you about all the good times he has had in all the years he's been russia

and you let him talk, for you know that it's been a while since he's had anyone that wants to listen to him remember the happy things

china/yao wang ♡

there are very few things that scare yao, so you being a vampire does not faze him

he's seen a lot in his lifetime (he's old)

he'd rather you feast on blood away from the expensive silks he has in his home

scolds you for staying up late (no, he does not care that you're a vampire and that's just what you do)

he always has fun trying to guess which century you are from (you'll never tell him, even if guesses correctly)

˚✧ ₊˚ nordics headcanons

[kopifurann]

Hetalia X Alien Stage

Round 5

[doki-doki-imagines]

Hey there! Can I have a headcanons request of Germany, England and France who have darlings that are quite, calm, introverted and composed most of the time but during their game/fight. Their darling can be very intimidating and dangerous as their rival would be afraid of them (If you know KNB. They are like Akashi Seijuro)

Ludwig Beilschmidt:

-He is so surprised. Like, shocked.

-You have always been so cute and nice…totally didn’t expect that and at first, he thinks it is a joke.

-But Ludwig can’t say he isn’t intrigued by this new side of your personality…unless you get violent. That is a big no-no for him.

-He’ll try to bring that side of you out, not often, but mostly to understand when and with whom it comes out.

-Yeah, he will study you lol. A way to understand every shade of you.

Arthur Kirkland:

-He worries a lot!

-Not for you, for the rival obviously.

-He can recognize the aura around his partner, he and Francis often get it when they meet.

-Gonna kiss your forehead after you destroy your rival and go back home.

-He had to reprimand you in front of others because he is a gentleman, but his true self is so proud of you.

Françis Bonnefoy:

-As Arthur, he recognized the aura around you immediately.

-He has to admit that he prefers your nice and more introverted side of personality.

-Mostly because he doesn’t want you to get hurt.

-Like, it is hot how good you kick ass, but please don’t get hurt, Françis likes to wear his nurse outfit for entirely different motivations.

[forsoobado137]

I bet HWS France is totally a sleepwalker. Usually it'll be something small like sitting up in bed or maybe standing up before going back to bed. But sometimes things get really crazy. He'll stagger around his apartment, cook strangely delicious meals, paint, dance, or maybe get himself stuck somewhere.

Mind you, he canonically sleeps in the nude, so he's doing all this with everything on display. God forbid he unlocks the door to his home and roams free.

It probably scares the shit out of whoever's sleeping with him. They're like "wow, what a sexy, charming man!" and they wake up to find him caressing the wall while mumbling about cheese.

Best part is, he's totally oblivious to it. Nobody's bothered to tell him.

[appleandsnow]

Francis and hairties

Au contraire to popular belief, Francis was a laid-back person; preferring to spend his days cooking warm, hearty stews and meals, or, on other days, reading.

It was soothing.

He was soothing.

He calls for you from the kitchen and you're only too happy to check in on him.

"Darling, i need a hair tie"

"Got it"

It was a rare thing for Francis to forget to tie his hair back but now that he had, you stand on your toes to reach up and tie it back.

"Thank you, sweet one"

[sunnylolli]

Classical Fruk is such a concept, because the music you can narrate their quarrels with are pieces like: Rush E, Csardas, Italian Polka and 13. Pieces, Op. 76: No. 2 Etude, it's a classical paradise if you love the enemies to lovers trope

[aphimagining]

S/o and the nations has been dating for a while, but unbeknowst to them, s/o is the personification of their capital. One day s/o tells them this. Reaction? (Would like the allies or if that don’t work then; Russia, Sweden, America, England, Germany)

America/Alfred F. Jones

His immediate reaction is surprise and delight. He's absolutely overjoyed knowing that time is not limited with you like it would be with a human partner. However, the excitement would give way to just about a hundred questions. How did he not know? How long have you been around? Whatever the answer - Alfred would be thrilled.

England/Arthur Kirkland

Arthur's knee jerk reaction is suspicion. If you've been a personification all this time, why didn't you mention it? He's a little hurt you never shared that with him or sought him out before, although it's unlikely he would express that. There's going to be many many in depth discussions on how, when, why, and where. Not to say he wouldn't be happy about the situation of course. Getting to avoid the death of a loved one is of course a huge relief for him.

France/Francis Bonnefoy

Francis is simultaneously shocked and overwhelmed. He is overwhelmingly relieved. His partner will be around much longer than the average human, and being as so he has experienced heart break with a human before -- it's a wonderful feeling to know he might have a partner forever. He would definitely need a moment to process things before giving an initial reaction, but then would immediately pull you to him for a much needed embrace.

Canada/Matthew Williams

Matthew is silent. A little too silent. There's a lot of things he wants to say and somehow he doesn't have the muster to choke any of them out. Obviously he is happy, but mostly he's wondering how this hadn't been brought up before. He would probably cozy up to you a bit, just for some closeness before eventually spewing a mountain of questions. Overall, his reaction would be supportive and relatively calm, but trust that the joy in his eyes is extremely noticeable.

Russia/Ivan Braginsky

Ivan is overjoyed. He is thrilled to know this person who he has let down his walls for won't be lost to a difference in life span. He is mildly curious and may have a handful of questions, but ultimately is more focused on the fact that your time together has just extended exponentially in his eyes. He has all the time in the world to ask you anything he may want to know.

China/Yao Wang

Yao is happy with the news, but also a little angry. It wasn't an explicit lie, but it wasn't telling the truth either. You're the capital of his nation, and you didn't seem to feel the need to let him know that? While a little indignant at first, he will eventually calm down to be very satisfied in knowing there is a personification who is almost as old as he is, and a partner who he can spend the rest of his very long lifespan with.

-Admin K.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Mating Season AU: France 🇫🇷

Warning :🌶️ Spicy Content

He was strumming his medium-length manicured fingernails on his glass table. His smile was wide, and his thin tail whipped back and forth impatiently. He waited for the nighttime to fully show off the pink moon's glow. He would be at full power, and your body would begin to inch up to pink horniness. He glided over to his mirror that was installed in front of one of his cozy chairs so that he could be fully submerged in the enchanting view.

Francis had been planning this day like a well-crafted battle plan. He’d stalked you for a full year from a distance writing down all the things you adored, hated, or felt neutral about. He adored you and he wanted his first time with you to be something manifique! He’d set up the best lingerie in (fav color) that would complement your gorgeous skin. He’d also been refraining from relieving himself for a whole 365 days, so his urges were strong, and his relief could be felt from the highest heights of heaven. His cock was in serious pain as it was large and abundant with his seed. His bright blues glazed over to the clock only about five more minutes before his fun could begin.

You’d been at home relaxing after a long stressful day. Yet for whatever reason, your sixth sense of being watched was heightened tonight. You didn’t understand why seeing a glowing bright scarlet rose that twinkled brightly against the indigo sky caught your (eye color) eyes in a deep trance that somewhat put you at ease. There was a crisp gust of fresh spring air that whooshed past you. It felt as if a storm was brewing on the horizon. You suddenly felt something brush against your back and butt. When you turned around to confront the present that brushed up against you, there was nothing out of the ordinary to greet your sight. It was strange, but you let the thought go. It would be insane for you to dwell on something that couldn’t be sustained. But over the year, you thought over how this heightened fear of being watched or hunted rather. It would last for a few moments and sometimes even minutes….but this feeling of dread and a sudden onset of desire to be in one's arm was only getting stronger. It was like a pair of eyes was stuck to your body like glue and made you feel particularly vulnerable. As you watched the last of the sunlight fade and the pale pastel pink moon become more prominent in your view…your body began to feel extremely heavy, like being tied down with cinderblocks and being prodded with rose thorns. You also began to feel heat pool between your thighs.

‘Why?’ ‘What?’ Were the only thoughts that came to your mind. As the world around you became hazy and your vision began to fill with glittery pink smoke, the clouded your vision. You felt inebriated. You felt high. It was pure ecstasy.

You suddenly felt large but somewhat gentle hands run over your only slightly covered chest, which was beginning to swell with milk. You felt a woosh of hot air reach your neck before you felt a nibbling sensation in your left ear. A husky French voice whispered eagerly to you. It sent a shocking shiver down your spine. It hardly registered to you that a velvet (favorite color) teddy lingerie was over your body and straining the fabric hardly containing your coconuts.

“Hello, Mon Chere~” A few pointed kisses nailed at your collarbone began to disarm your senses more, dulling your initial shock from being pulled into a completely different realm altogether.

“Who are you? And why?” His hand had grasped your boob that continued to fill. You let out a loud moan that was like music to his ears. His cock was fully perked up and grinding on the back of your thigh.

‘How exciting! The execution of my plan was flawless! Y/N is hardly aware of what's happening to her!’

A hungry. ‘Hon. Hon. Hon.’ reaches your ear as the grinding becomes more aggressive.

“It’s nice that you’re finally in my arms, Y/N! Your soft body is like that of, fresh Tartiflette and you smell divine.” He places his nose in the crook of your neck and takes a deep inhale. “I’m going to be devouring you tonight so that we can create a marvelous family tree! Our children will be so beautiful!” He felt himself stiffen some more and his hands gripped your thighs from behind, making sure that they were as far apart as possible.

“Ah! No wait …please” It didn’t come out as loudly or as strongly as you liked. Your vision was still clouded and you could feel the heat radiate off of a toned body that was just beneath you. You felt a claw-like hand scrape across your butt and move your lingerie with one swift move. He began to finger you while his other hand stayed busy as he massaged your swollen tits.

“You can feel free to sing my name to all of the demon kingdoms and to the heavens let everyone know!” As his finger toyed with your neither region and began to prepare you for a much larger size. His lips began to pepper your skin with kisses which did make your heart flutter but your mind feel confused. Where you having some lucid daydream that felt entirely real?

‘Nigh..ugh..I..’

“I what Y/N? Going to start singing my name? Which is Francis by the way.” Taking a break from kissing before he started his campaign to give you a few hickeys. He really wanted to leave his mark on his beautiful canvas. He started on your lower left collarbone and at first kissed your skin then progressively started to lick and nibble on your soft skin. The he bore his sharpened canines and sunk it in to make a mark and to make you bleed.

You let out a loud shriek in pain and your vision suddenly became crystal clear and you were able to see that you were no longer in your apartment alone you were in a large bedroom that was decored with tons of black lace.

“Oh Mon Chere, you have a nice scream. ” France sweetly teases. “And my name is Francis by the way.”

You felt like this was far more weird than some weird lucid dream. You wiggle free from his grip even though you were still in a pretty dazed state. But you wanted to fight back. You had to get out of this crazy dream. Although you didn’t want to admit the sudden emptiness between your legs desired more. You also hadn’t realized the small scratches from France’s sharp rose branches drew blood but also were the entry points for his love drugs.

“Oh my sweet Y/N, that was only the beginning.” He licked his lips eagerly. He was eager to get on top of you so he could fill your entire being. He was hardly registering anything that you were saying France had fully reached the height of his hunger, and it needed to be satiated.

When your eyes collided with the once pure cyan but transformed into scarlet eyes that burned with desire. Nothing could save you now. He snapped his fingers and rose thorns had pinned you to the bed with your arms above your head and your legs spread wide. The fantasy of you enjoying all of this is playing out like a live theatre show in Francis's mind.

“An actual demon!” You quiver out. Your body trembled and you weren’t entirely sure if it was out of pleasure or fear. You felt your thighs burn and felt Francis's body hair rub up against yours, only making your desire skyrocket. You squirmed a little but to no avail the thorns sunk deep within your skin, leaving further evidence that this was far more real than you’d like. And it would be only one of the many marks that prove that he’s claimed you.

Francis leaned down to plan a kiss on your forehead.

“Don’t be scared, C’here. I’ll be rough only for the first hour or so. I can control myself….kind of.” That last part was reassuring…..

You only felt your body break out in a cold sweat, and you felt the lingerie that tried to cover you was now gone. Your bare body is all for him to see.

“I want to be passionate with you. Not harm you but, I’ve been holding back….” You felt his hands grip your behind firmly, and your hips gladly bucked up to reach the tip of his dick. Francis had to bite the bottom of his lip for a moment as he was excited and wanted to savor this moment for his long-term memory: Your dazed loving sight, vulnerable and ready to devour. His cock teased you a little as it went up and down your wet vagina. You let out an audible squeak that sounded mostly excited but still confused.

‘It’s possible I’m hallucinating somehow.’ Still in denial of the situation that is unfolding.

Francis's sudden first trust within you was a shocking surprise. His girth was large and his earlier strokes did nothing to prepare you for his size. While he lets himself pulsate in your walls, he takes a moment to help you get a better grasp of the situation.

“No, you're not hallucinating, my love. I’ve chosen you to be my mate so you can bear my children.” He lets out a low moan and grunts as he continues to hold himself back from pumping into you just yet. The hairs all over his body stood and and felt electrifying. It swept over your glossy skin making the urges you felt within you worse and caused all of your body to begin to heat up with tension as you began to feel your heartbeat faster. He leaned his head down to grace your forehead with more kisses as he gently whispered your name and began saying sweet nothings in French. The brush of his stubble touched your skin tanatilizingly and you meweled under him as he moved his member moved inside of you slowing adding to the needy heat and pressure within you.

“Oh honey, you don’t have to hold back I know you want to moan loudy~” As if on cue you do so.

“Ahhhhh~” It was weak but filled with pained lust. Francis had gripped your hips tighter and forced himself deeper into your scorching core. You hear him chuckle as he thrust into you once with the force of a jack hammer.

“Ah!” The sharp reactionary scream rings to his ears and makes him about to lose the last few threads over himself. He began to kiss you to the bridge of your nose, to the tip of it and takes over your lips in an elongated kiss that drew all of your breath and strength from within you. His lips moulded with yours like wet clay being shaped to his perfect fantasy.

“Y/N. Y/N……….” He sings out to you as he takes one more chance to give you yet another hickey on your collarbone. His speed is beginning to pick up progressively and your overstimulated by all of the sensations that not only leave you on cloud nine but also confused about the state of where you are and what your life is now supposed to look like.

Francis tail wraps around your stomach and clenches it tightly. Francis hands move from your breasts that swelled to the size of ripe pumpkins down to your sweaty thighs and gripped them tightly. He was beginning to reach his climax.

“Say my name C’here!” He calls out to you desperately.

Your mind dispells some of the fog and you’re able to recognize that who you’re making love to isn’t someone that is fully human. But you wanted to be able to preserve yourself and not die. All you could do was let out a low pleasured grunt and try to remember his name. What was it again?

He thrusted into you harshly and you let out a squeak. It jogged your memory through the thick sweet haze that was continuing to cloud your mind.

“Ance!” is what you squeeked out in reaction. He thusted hardly once more to help you with your brain fog. He continued until you were able to shout his name to the heavens.

“FRANCIS!” You yelled out it was like a symphony to his ears and Francis was high off the moment of being able to climax he released his hot seed within you and it spilled out onto the onyx duvet. He rode out the rest of his orgasim and pulled out his shrunken flaccid cock as he smothered himself with your heavy clevage. You whimper as your were still highly sensitive to touch due to your sexually heightned state.

“Oh, Y/N. I love you and I’m glad that you’re going to be my Queen.”

⭐️📖😊⭐️Thanks for reading ya‘ll ⭐️😊📖⭐️

[pedantic-coffee]

I still can't get over that so many of the Hetalia nations canonically look like twinks. Not that I'm against this part of canon. I love it. It's insane.

Imagine being thousands of years old, a veteran of several wars, probably killed by your own government at some point for refusing orders, have uncanny abilities tied to the very land you stand on that even you can't quite explain... And people keep asking you what college you attend.

I would, in fact, go apeshit.

[senditothemoonn]

rn i’m imagining scotfra doing the kiss by klimt and <3 my heart’s melting

I think this is how Alasdair kisses Francis first thing in the morning

[kamizuya]

Some arts I made as a gift. 🎁

[yawujin]

france with an s/o who's super imaginative and artistic!! always has their head in the clouds, hopeless romantic, etc etc... if you please... alsdkjfasf...

idk why i didn't realize it this whole time i've been in the fandom but , france is hot....would.

request | france x an artistic S/O

type | romantic , light hearted , short read , fluff , gender neutral reader

oh how this man appreciates his love

he spends most of his afternoons admiring his sweetheart's finished art projects , complimenting them endlessly on their creativity

he offers to take them wine painting, seeing how artsy they get when they're left with a blank canvas

he often likes to let his S/O plan their dates, and then he makes them happen

france gives them pressed flowers instead of just bouquets because he knows they could make use of them in a collage

he couldn't have found a better partner , who is just as lovey dovey as he is 💘

[sisididis]

If I were to start all over again in a Spanish-speaking country, I’d probably choose Buendía as my family name.

[forsoobado137]

Headcanon that he also does creepy shit like softly bang his head against a wall and whisper to dead French historical figures in the mirror. I bet that really freaked out priests back in the day.

France sleepwalking head canons

I read somewhere in one of the old comics that he might sleep walk sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️

-Probably sleep cooks but doesn’t actually cook. Just sets out food on the counter as if he’s going to cook but it’s random ingredients (salt, cheese, oranges, a can opener)

-Sleep showering is probably the most common thing he does right up there with the sleep cooking. Has woken up laying in the shower with the water running.

-Has woken himself up because he kept running into a door. Not the first time that’s happened.

-Dreamt that he had to do laundry and woke up with all his bed sheets balled up in his arms because he stripped his entire bed in his sleep.

-Has been found having a conversation with the microwave about wine at 2am. Then patted the top of the microwave and went back to bed.

-Woken up mid convo while ON THE PHONE with random people. He’s probably slept called England a couple of times. Has dialed the numbers on the microwave as if it’s a phone.

-Has sat up straight in bed and said “Mon Dieu, you scared me!” to absolutely no one in a startled voice, then went back to sleep.

-He’s stayed at Spain’s house one night and stole all of his clothes out of the closet and scattered them throughout his living room.

-Prussia has no time for that so whenever France stays over, he ties him to the bed with bungee cords. This works most of the time.

If he regularly sleeps naked then these would be wild encounters, huh?

[olympeline]

I’m in the mood for angst so here’s my take on the biggest personal demons of each member of the humanverse!FACE family. They’d be a close and loving unit but with some thorny issues to overcome before they get their happy ending:

Francis: Eating disorder. I imagine him working in fashion and no atmosphere is crueler when it comes to weight than Parisian cat walks. Even if he’s a designer and not a model, the pressure for the “face” of the Bonnefoy brand to stay slim and attractive would be huge. A lot of starving himself, living on coffee, awful fad diet “cleanses,” and even popping pills at his worst. Not to mention smoking like a chimney for the appetite suppressant. He’d also have some issues with helicopter parenting with the thirst for perfection leaking from work to family time. Not in a cruel way but more overbearing and micromanaging his sons’ time to try and give them the quote-unquote “best start” in life.

Arthur: Substance abuse. Guy was a punk in his teens and early twenties and the addiction got its claws into him good and deep. Mostly alcohol, but occasionally he might slip into harder things. Arthur would try to kick the habit again and again after Alfred and Matthew are born but would fall off the wagon many times. The twins learn early that if Papa isn’t home and they wake up to sounds of throwing up, they’ll need to make their own breakfast.

Alfred: Undiagnosed neurological condition and then a different kind of eating disorder when he gets older. The former being something with mania and difficulty focusing. Alfred is smart but school would be a chore because it’s so hard for him to sit still. And growing up watching Francis and Arthur’s various issues with food (and drink) left a dark impression. Alfred finds solace in sports when school is tough but the desire to be the best sets him on a path of impossible physical standards. Then he cracks, stuffs himself, falls into a cycle of binge and purge, and Arthur isn’t the only one throwing up and trying to hide it by running the taps to muffle the sound.

Matthew: Glass sibling syndrome. Alfred and his problems monopolised the family focus growing up and Matthew had to make do with what was left over. This left Matthew quiet and anxious but also defeated and with deeply buried anger and resentment towards his twin. He learnt young that trying to compete for the spotlight was pointless so why bother. That rage and bitterness simmers, deep down, and the rest of the family are shocked when quiet, gentle Matthew is suddenly lashing out and getting into fights when he hits his mid-teens. Matthew never learnt how to control his anger and now it’s controlling him.

This family gonna need some serious therapy I tell ya hwat 🥲

[floralcrematorium]

Assorted FrUK/FACE Fam Headcanons

These are silly little thoughts I've had while drafting Migraines in Margaritaville, so these apply to the world of that AU (modern, human; FrUK parents raising NA bros in Massachusetts, US). Most of these involve food because I seem to think about them when I'm hungry???

• Francis and Arthur practice "one-parent-one-language" with the boys. Matthew took to French much easier than Alfred did, but both brothers managed to pick it up without much of a fuss. In elementary school the twins would use French to cheat on tests (they weren't allowed to sit next to each other after their schemes were discovered).

• Arthur set the grill on fire three times in one summer. Francis clearly doesn't learn from his mistakes and Arthur is too stubborn to let Francis do all of the work when it comes to preparing dinner.

• Follow up on the point above -- Arthur can prep vegetables and throw together food that doesn't require too much measuring or too many steps on the stovetop. He doesn't have the patience for most dishes and doesn't have a sense of what spices go well together/what is enough vs too much. Francis lets him help by chopping up vegetables and Arthur was usually the one to pack the boys' lunches. Sometimes they'd get leftover portions of whatever they had for dinner last night, but Arthur often defaulted to some sort of wrap with deli meat and assorted veggies/crackers for snack.

• Francis gives me similar vibes to those youtube moms who try to make homemade versions of popular American snacks. He may spend the weekdays at work in a kitchen, but on the weekends he's at home, still in the kitchen, trying to make homemade fruit leather and homemade cheese crackers for his sons.

• Arthur's the one more willing to let the boys get snacks from the store or take out. Francis is very much "we have McDonald's at home."

• Both Francis and Arthur would've been so excited to decorate the twins' nursery. They're both artistically inclined, be it in different ways. Arthur made blankets for both of them; Matthew is red and Alfred is blue. Francis paints floral designs on the furniture, in particular purple irises and both red and white roses.

• Because the twins were identical and because babies are kinda just blobs, they definitely accidentally mixed the twins up. The color coding might've come after the swap. They had a crisis about it. Francis "sacre bleu, we just gave two people permanent identity crises" Bonnefoy and Arthur "if we compare them to every picture we have of them we can figure it out" Kirkland. I'm imagining this happening before the twins have enough hair for their cowlicks to really form.

• It's tradition in the Kirkland-Bonnefoy household to have a box of Whitman's chocolates at every family party and Alfred is the reason why. One Christmas each twin got to pick out something special for the party and Alfred picked out the 22 piece Whitman sampler in the yellow box. They're not the best chocolates, but it became a tradition. Thankfully there's two layers in the box so Mattie and Al can have their own messenger boy pieces (the shaped chocolate that's the centerpiece of each layer).

• Neither Arthur or Francis have favor for one twin over the other. They both have their own activities they can do with Alfred and Matthew separately. Francis will cook and bake with Alfred and draw with Matthew. Arthur teaches Matthew to garden and watches old (by his son's standards) movies with Alfred.

• Francis is the parent the boys can come to no questions asked. Arthur isn't apathetic, but Francis is more inclined to give more thoughtful advice for relationships and general fuck-ups. He won't press on why or how something happened, but will help his sons figure out the best way to solve a problem.

• When Alfred and Mattie turned 10, Arthur wanted to teach them the importance of personal finance. He would give the boys $5 each week to spend on snacks at the grocery store (Arthur does the couponing and the shopping for the house). They were allowed to hold onto the money to use for later and could help with the couponing.

• Arthur drags the family out to Salem every Autumn. Sure, they live in Massachusetts and are well aware of how bad tourist season is, but he's fascinated with the city. Alfred initially went because he really liked this one New York style pizza shop in the Witch City Mall (how they got Francis to step foot in there, I don't know), but eventually grew interested in the witchy stuff Salem has to offer. Francis only puts up with it because the city has an art museum and weekly art fairs in the Fall. Matthew dreads their yearly trip. He loathes it. He'd rather tag along with Francis to the museum.

• Until the boys were old enough to start protesting, they had family Halloween costumes. Francis thought it was tacky, but saw the appeal when Arthur got the twins (still babies) all dressed up in lobster costumes.