#migraines in margaritaville

[floralcrematorium]

Assorted FrUK/FACE Fam Headcanons

These are silly little thoughts I've had while drafting Migraines in Margaritaville, so these apply to the world of that AU (modern, human; FrUK parents raising NA bros in Massachusetts, US). Most of these involve food because I seem to think about them when I'm hungry???

• Francis and Arthur practice "one-parent-one-language" with the boys. Matthew took to French much easier than Alfred did, but both brothers managed to pick it up without much of a fuss. In elementary school the twins would use French to cheat on tests (they weren't allowed to sit next to each other after their schemes were discovered).

• Arthur set the grill on fire three times in one summer. Francis clearly doesn't learn from his mistakes and Arthur is too stubborn to let Francis do all of the work when it comes to preparing dinner.

• Follow up on the point above -- Arthur can prep vegetables and throw together food that doesn't require too much measuring or too many steps on the stovetop. He doesn't have the patience for most dishes and doesn't have a sense of what spices go well together/what is enough vs too much. Francis lets him help by chopping up vegetables and Arthur was usually the one to pack the boys' lunches. Sometimes they'd get leftover portions of whatever they had for dinner last night, but Arthur often defaulted to some sort of wrap with deli meat and assorted veggies/crackers for snack.

• Francis gives me similar vibes to those youtube moms who try to make homemade versions of popular American snacks. He may spend the weekdays at work in a kitchen, but on the weekends he's at home, still in the kitchen, trying to make homemade fruit leather and homemade cheese crackers for his sons.

• Arthur's the one more willing to let the boys get snacks from the store or take out. Francis is very much "we have McDonald's at home."

• Both Francis and Arthur would've been so excited to decorate the twins' nursery. They're both artistically inclined, be it in different ways. Arthur made blankets for both of them; Matthew is red and Alfred is blue. Francis paints floral designs on the furniture, in particular purple irises and both red and white roses.

• Because the twins were identical and because babies are kinda just blobs, they definitely accidentally mixed the twins up. The color coding might've come after the swap. They had a crisis about it. Francis "sacre bleu, we just gave two people permanent identity crises" Bonnefoy and Arthur "if we compare them to every picture we have of them we can figure it out" Kirkland. I'm imagining this happening before the twins have enough hair for their cowlicks to really form.

• It's tradition in the Kirkland-Bonnefoy household to have a box of Whitman's chocolates at every family party and Alfred is the reason why. One Christmas each twin got to pick out something special for the party and Alfred picked out the 22 piece Whitman sampler in the yellow box. They're not the best chocolates, but it became a tradition. Thankfully there's two layers in the box so Mattie and Al can have their own messenger boy pieces (the shaped chocolate that's the centerpiece of each layer).

• Neither Arthur or Francis have favor for one twin over the other. They both have their own activities they can do with Alfred and Matthew separately. Francis will cook and bake with Alfred and draw with Matthew. Arthur teaches Matthew to garden and watches old (by his son's standards) movies with Alfred.

• Francis is the parent the boys can come to no questions asked. Arthur isn't apathetic, but Francis is more inclined to give more thoughtful advice for relationships and general fuck-ups. He won't press on why or how something happened, but will help his sons figure out the best way to solve a problem.

• When Alfred and Mattie turned 10, Arthur wanted to teach them the importance of personal finance. He would give the boys $5 each week to spend on snacks at the grocery store (Arthur does the couponing and the shopping for the house). They were allowed to hold onto the money to use for later and could help with the couponing.

• Arthur drags the family out to Salem every Autumn. Sure, they live in Massachusetts and are well aware of how bad tourist season is, but he's fascinated with the city. Alfred initially went because he really liked this one New York style pizza shop in the Witch City Mall (how they got Francis to step foot in there, I don't know), but eventually grew interested in the witchy stuff Salem has to offer. Francis only puts up with it because the city has an art museum and weekly art fairs in the Fall. Matthew dreads their yearly trip. He loathes it. He'd rather tag along with Francis to the museum.

• Until the boys were old enough to start protesting, they had family Halloween costumes. Francis thought it was tacky, but saw the appeal when Arthur got the twins (still babies) all dressed up in lobster costumes.

[half-oz-eddie]

Pedal To The Metal

Billy, a professional stunt driver agrees to take a generously paying gig from a photographer, who takes an interest in him after a friendly conversation on a resort rooftop.

R is for Revving (kink for watching someone rev an engine, especially when they wear heels)

This is the 18th fic in my Harringrove Kinktober ABCs

A series of 26 unrelated ficlets about Billy and Steve, each one written for a kink that starts with every letter of the alphabet.

@harringrovekinktober

Billy was taking a vacation. Finally, a much needed reprieve. He just wrapped up filming dozens of takes of stunt driving for a movie with an A-List cast. He got the opportunity to meet many actors that he admired, and he enjoyed himself on set. 

It was a lovely time, but he needed to slow down for a day or 2, after weeks of driving at 150 miles per hour and going back to his hotel with migraines. 

He booked a room at a resort in Times Square called Margaritaville. He didn’t expect to find something so peaceful in the big city, but it was everything he needed. 

He scheduled a massage for his sore muscles and enjoyed some drinks on the rooftop deck. 

He observed others as he lied back, sipping a fruity drink in-between his cigarette drags. There was an older couple, a woman, likely in her 50s and an attractive young man, probably in his age group, taking photos of the city.

The photographer sat a few feet away from Billy, returning to his own drink.

“View’s nice from up here, right?” He started a casual conversation with Billy.

“Yeah. Pretty nice.��

“You from around here?” The photographer asked. 

“No. I was here for work.”

“Oh, so you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Roosevelt Island, would you?”

“Oh, yeah. You can take the tramway. It’s like a sky taxi. Pretty cool, actually.”

“Thanks. What uh…what kind of work were you in town for?”

“I’m a stunt driver. I was on a movie set.”

“A stunt driver?!" He widely smiled. "No kidding. My name’s Steve, by the way. Steve Harrington.”

“Nice to meet you, Steve Harrington. I’m Billy. Billy Hargrove.”

They shook hands, smirking at one another. 

“Hey, can I take photos of you for my portfolio? It’s a huge project and it pays well.”

“How well’re we talking?” Billy lifted his sunglasses. 

“I’ll pay you $1,000 per photo.”

“Per photo?!” He exclaimed in disbelief. “Jesus Christ. I guess I can stay in town for another day or 2.”

“Awesome. So…can we meet up here tomorrow morning around 10?”

“Sure thing.”

“Also…what size shoe do you wear?”

“A 9.”

“Perfect. I’ll bring you some footwear for the photos. That cool?”

“Yeah. No problem.”

“Cool, cool. See you tomorrow!”

Billy finished off his drink, laughing to himself.  “A thousand per photo? Must be my lucky day.”

Keep Reading On Ao3

[house-of-mirrors]

dust allergy + migraine + period + seasonal depression + grieving

vs

margaritaville + horny judgement posting + pretzel chips + RTGame TOTK playthrough + 800mg ibuprofen

[cymothoid]

N.B.: a reliable indicator of how stressed i am is whether, at the end of the day, i am hearing the sweet siren song of clicking on my emergency jimmy buffett playlist. on most days it's fine. I do not break the glass, for i have no need. others, i am as odysseus tied to the mast. if it is, indeed, Island Time, there is a severity scale that ranges from sitting calmly on the bus, to the veritable EF-5 that was being slumped in the passenger seat in a taco bell drive-thru, waiting on a cheesy gordita crunch, deliriously singing along to margaritaville with a solid 9/10 migraine, feebly shaking my arm along to the "salt! salt! salt!" bit. the point at which to be worried is when i start singing along.

oh god it was almost [ISLAND TIME] before.

[cleoselene]

stoned and listening to “Margaritaville” in Florida during COVID-19 in the air conditioning with a migraine while vaping some more medical weed under blacklights because of the migraines, right

[honeylikewords]

You may need to take some ibuprofen, fill a bag with ice, wrap a wet towel around it, and call it a night of you got a migraine 😰 I've also read that smelling peppermint or lavender oil can help or drinking a very small amount of caffeine, but I wouldn't push it. Sorry you're feeling bad, hun. Hope you feel better soon!!

i’ll be right as rain come morning, i’m sure. i just wish james god-damn buffett would stop peddling his margaritaville wares inside my cranium. this ain’t the place for you, jimmy. try a SANDALS resort in, like, florida or something. subliminally goad a poolside bartender into trying his hand at mixing something colorful and syrupy and LEAVE ME BE

i’m sorry i segued into this anti-jimmy buffett segment; i think it’s high time that i shut the ol’ brain machine down and hit the proverbial hay

[floralcrematorium]

back again with the american chain restaurant thoughts

not to get into old fandom “haha alfred looooooves hamburgers” thinking because he’s so much more than that now, but i think maybe i could spin that into something plausible,,

he once had a cheeseburger so fucking bad that he was determined to make a list of every restaurant he’s ever been to and rank their burgers to prevent it from ever happening to another person

you cannot tell me this man wouldn’t. he likes organization and would totally have a spreadsheet for this. he likes control and if he doesn’t know where he wants to go, he’d look at his reliable old spreadsheet

it sounds silly but i’m so dead serious right now. i think similarly to Food Youtuber Alfred from my margaritaville AU, food critic is also a viable career for him. like. i usually throw in FACE fam dynamics — he has some taste considering he grew up on Francis’s snobby cooking

this is such a stupid thought, but i REALLY just want him to have an interaction that’s like. Mattie’s picking him up to go somewhere and they’re going out to eat. Matt asks him if he’s thought about where he wants to go and Pulls out this google sheets document. he treats it like a Bible. you can’t take him ANYWHERE

and it could apply to other genres of food too

like he ranks restaurants on how well they can make a reuben sandwich (my father is a snob about that so like. i know which restaurants are NOT approved by my father)

he ranks them on things that just don’t make sense to anyone but him

you know how documents can have multiple spreadsheets in them on google drive? that. yeah that. he’s got that. it’s color coded too.

alfred f jones is a chaotic being of a man but in my head he cares deeply about the thinks he cares for and executes ideas in terrible ways

he could’ve just left a review on yelp, but no.

[floralcrematorium]

Ooooo what are your headcanons about Alfred's insecurities!? 8)

oops! i get really infodumpy. there's Migraines in Margaritaville context at the beginning and headcanons for this AU's Alfred's insecurities alllll the way at the end. if you just want to skip to it there's be a header in pink that says Woe, Insecurities Be Upon Alfred. anything that i talk about in the context section is stuff I've already talked about in the prologue and first chapter of the fic, found here, or information that isn't relevant enough to be mentioned in the fic and is more fun fact

okay so I came up with a really funny way to refer to Migraines in Margaritaville whenever I'm mentioning that fic casually

I will now refer to anything regarding that fic as The Margaritaverse

Anyway, to give a quick recap on Margaritaverse Alfred and Matthew:

Alfred (Kirkland-Bonnefoy) F. Jones is a popular Youtuber living just outside of New York City. His channel is all about food. You could consider him a food critic, but he also tries strange vintage recipes, debunks Tiktok recipes, and explores the cookbook left to him by his Papa when he and Alfred's dad moved back to Europe (The prologue actually starts off with him cooking a cake from his childhood that will be relevant later). He lives alone and doesn't have many friends aside from his old college roommate and Kiku Honda, a fellow popular food Youtuber (and full time surface design illustrator) who he met at Vidcon the year prior. His entire life right now is making content for Youtube because even though he's got a double degree in finance and marketing, he can't manage to find a job in his field

Matthew (Kirkland-Bonnefoy) Williams is a hockey star who moved to Montreal, Quebec immediately after college. Fun fact, he actually lives in Kirkland, which is a suburb of Montreal (I literally only chose it because of the name). He's been playing hockey practically his whole life and spends as much time outdoors as possible. He's doing really well for himself; He's got a lovely Samoyed dog named Kumajirou, a house (in this economy???), and his girlfriend of three years, Kateryna (I'm still not set on a last name for her, but I've been using Chernenko because that's what I've seen floating around. I'm up to suggestions!)

Alfred and Matthew are identical twins who grew up in Massachusetts. Never been quite set on how the boys came to be other than being born in 1998, so whether they're fully adopted or related to just one of their dads is up in the air. Regardless, they grew up unable being to escape being compared at home, at school, and anywhere really.

Alfred's insecurities stem from Matthew receiving a lot of attention from their dads. I thought it'd be fun to play with the idea that Alfred was accidentally ignored rather than Mattie and see what That Does To Him. Alfred's not a quiet kid -- he kinda just has a hard time fitting in. Not gonna lie, he probably has the Neurodivergent Kid Experience of being isolated from your peers for being "different." We see this in Chapter One of MIM when Alfred is excluded from a birthday party by their peers when Matthew is invited and he doesn't really fit in with the group his brother hangs around (Mattie tries to include him, to limited success). When Matthew picks up hockey, everything suddenly becomes about Matthew because he needs to be driven to practice, he needs equipment, oh no! he got hurt, and he also turns out to be pretty dang good at this thing.

Unintentionally, Alfred gets shoved to the wings.

Both Francis and Arthur have separate things they like to do with both sons. Alfred and Francis' thing is cooking. Alfred picks up a love for anything in the kitchen thanks to Francis, who is more than eager to teach him anything he knows. My favorite thought is that Alfred is the better cook but will eat almost anything, while Matthew can cook to get by but has a more refined taste (unless he's high, which in that case anything goes).

By the time of the events of MIM, the boys are estranged. I can't tell you everything just yet because spoilers, but they haven't seen each other in three years and Alfred's a bit resentful about it. He's tried to contact Mattie, but he's always too busy and eventually Al gave up.

Woe, Insecurities Be Upon Alfred

☆ Alfred's inability to get a real job makes him majorly jealous of Matthew. He spent years studying to get a double major degree to impress their parents in something he doesn't even like for none of it to pay off. Francis and Arthur aren't disappointed in Alfred, but they don't take his job as seriously as they do Mattie's

☆ Follow up to the point above, when Matthew got drafted into the NHL (I never name the team but I know Montreal has their own team so it's up to the reader if he plays for them or someone else), it felt like a shot in the heart to Alfred. He wonders if he could've had something like something Matthew's career if his dads poured everything into it like Matthew's hockey training

☆ Matthew was able to make so many friends when they were younger whereas Alfred couldn't. Nobody wanted to talk to Alfred about the things he liked, which made him really upset, because he knew sooooo much about those things! Matthew excelled socially because he's witty and thinks before he speaks whereas Alfred had to learn how to do those things. He's a bit blunt and when he tries to make jokes they really only make sense to him

☆ Alfred doesn't think his parents love Mattie more than him, but sometimes it felt that way growing up. Their schedules revolved around Matthew's games because he was the team's best player

☆ Alfred is jealous that Matthew's taller. This is literally the smallest thing, especially since he's only shorter by a couple of inches, but it's still something

☆ Alfred puts on an entirely different persona for his Youtube channel. He's more animated, he writes jokes, he does things that cater to his audience, and ultimately isn't entirely himself. I think it's a form of masking because he had to figure out a way to make himself more likeable to other people

☆ He doesn't know much about Matthew's partner except for the fact that they've been together for three years and she's from Ukraine. He doesn't know her name or what she even looks like until the Prologue/Chapter One. There's some contention here for reasons I can't mention yet ;)

☆ Matthew is a very private person because of his fame. Alfred also is (they both use fake last names for their careers so they can maintain some sort of privacy in their day-to-day). Alfred doesn't understand why this privacy also extends to him. He's Matthew's brother. His twin. Why is he shut out?

☆ Alfred's channel being food related calls back to his favorite past-time with Francis. His designated bonding activity with Arthur was watching bad old movies (I think they both love Monty Python and the Holy Grail, though), but he can't really do much with that. Maybe occasionally he recreates food from shows and movies his Dad likes, to bring both of his parents into one activity. Anyway, cooking and food is a way for him to feel connected to his Papa in a way Matthew never was. It's like something untainted by Matthew's success since he was never too interested in the complicated meals Francis cooks. Alfred wonders if he would feel different if he went to culinary school instead (he didn't go because being stuck in a kitchen for so long and at odd hours like Francis didn't seem appealing not like business is any better)

TLDR: Alfred is a very jealous person because of a variety of factors and internalizes his failures (which aren't really even failures). He spends MIM working through his jealousy for his brother and is constantly back and forth between being excited to see Mattie after so long and feeling inferior to him since Matthew seemingly has it all

anyway. all this to say I really need to start workin on Margaritaverse again. I think they're supposed to go to like. three margartiavilles in that chapter? I'm not sure, I need to refamiliarize myself with my giant Lore doc and make edits with my fresh eyes

[floralcrematorium]

trying to go look at the Margaritaville menus so I can continue writing Chapter 2 of MIM, and man I still can't believe I have to actually work Jimmy Buffet's death into my Hetalia fanfiction

PSA to never give your fic real world timestamps before the actual date arrives. I am paying the consequences so now there's gonna be actual Hetalia content where Alfred, Matthew, and Kateryna pour a cold one out for Jimmy Buffet

anyway i have a whole spreadsheet planning out who orders what and when

[floralcrematorium]

Migraines in Margaritaville - Chapter 1

Words: 5,515

Chapter Summary:

Alfred makes his way up to Kirkland, Quebec, a small city outside of Montreal to meet with his brother. Having not seen each other for several years, there's some reacquainting to be done as they embark on their cross-country road trip.

Fic Summary:

Alfred F. Jones is an up and coming Youtuber whose channel recently got its lucky break. Matthew Williams is a pro hockey star looking to reunite with his brother. Reminiscing for the good times, this pair of brothers embark on a trip across the continental United States (and Canada) to become the third and fourth people to have their lives changed by one man and one man only: Jimmy Buffet. However a diet of fried foods, a one-sided sibling rivalry, and the cramped confines of a 2015 Subaru forester are the key ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

This is a human AU fic that takes place in 2023 with occasional flashback memories to Alfred and Matthew’s childhood. It is also heavily inspired by Eddy Burback and Ted Nivison’s Margaritaville videos.

[floralcrematorium]

cracked open my last mike's hard lemonade to write the next chapter of Migraines in Margaritaville

there's no way i can't acknowledge Jimmy Buffet's death in the fic when they'll be 3/4th of the way through the trip on September 2nd according to my notes doc. this is your PSA to never give your fics real life timelines skjdlka

thank you to all the mutuals who came into my dms this morning with the news. i guess i'm officially the hetalia fandom's Margarita Man

anyway, time to drink a strawberry-lime mike's for Jimmy and begin to emotionally destroy Alfred F. Jones. slowly.

[floralcrematorium]

starting to think about Migraines in Margaritaville again, also making a playlist for it. i've mainly got songs about Alfred's insecurities, his uncertainty about being in his 20s, and inferiority complex to Matthew, but there's also songs from Kiku's POV, songs about Kiku and Alfred's relationship, songs from Matthew's POV, songs about their relationship as brothers, and then maybe some songs about Matthew and Kateryna

so much of it is just Angst which I haven't gotten into yet in the two chapters I have published. that's the next chapter LMAO

[floralcrematorium]

The way that I have a huge spreadsheet for the Margaritaville Youtube AU...

Not seen are five, that's right FIVE, other guest characters!

I now have to go through the menus of all 22 restaurant locations, so that'll be fun for me. Good thing I like spreadsheets!

Also!! It's looking like Chapter 1 will be up sometime within the next few days! I'm 3,000 words into the chapter and that's just over half of the material I wanted to include, so update is soon! Looking to post a vague spoilers post w/ more funny images on Sunday or somethin'

[floralcrematorium]

well i woke up to the news that Jimmy Buffet has passed away

this literally fits into the timeline of the road trip. and at the climax, too. alfred & matthew are supposed to be almost done with the road trip by now (september 2)

oh my sweet dear,,, looking nervously at my migraines in margaritaville draft document

[floralcrematorium]

Vague spoilers for Migraines in Margaritaville Chapter 1!

Chapter coming sometime tomorrow (Friday, August 24th!)

If you haven't checked it out, you can find the prologue here!

[floralcrematorium]

i think my favorite thing abt the margaritaville AU is as i continue to write chapter one, i continue to refuse to listen to the actual song

is it on my Alfred playlist? yes

is it on the Migraines in Margaritaville playlist? yes

will i skip the song every time it appears? also yes!

sorry jimmy buffet, i'm not ready to get wasted again