#anyway that’s today’s Soph Is Out To Eat And Thinks About Hetalia thought

[floralcrematorium]

back again with the american chain restaurant thoughts

not to get into old fandom “haha alfred looooooves hamburgers” thinking because he’s so much more than that now, but i think maybe i could spin that into something plausible,,

he once had a cheeseburger so fucking bad that he was determined to make a list of every restaurant he’s ever been to and rank their burgers to prevent it from ever happening to another person

you cannot tell me this man wouldn’t. he likes organization and would totally have a spreadsheet for this. he likes control and if he doesn’t know where he wants to go, he’d look at his reliable old spreadsheet

it sounds silly but i’m so dead serious right now. i think similarly to Food Youtuber Alfred from my margaritaville AU, food critic is also a viable career for him. like. i usually throw in FACE fam dynamics — he has some taste considering he grew up on Francis’s snobby cooking

this is such a stupid thought, but i REALLY just want him to have an interaction that’s like. Mattie’s picking him up to go somewhere and they’re going out to eat. Matt asks him if he’s thought about where he wants to go and Pulls out this google sheets document. he treats it like a Bible. you can’t take him ANYWHERE

and it could apply to other genres of food too

like he ranks restaurants on how well they can make a reuben sandwich (my father is a snob about that so like. i know which restaurants are NOT approved by my father)

he ranks them on things that just don’t make sense to anyone but him

you know how documents can have multiple spreadsheets in them on google drive? that. yeah that. he’s got that. it’s color coded too.

alfred f jones is a chaotic being of a man but in my head he cares deeply about the thinks he cares for and executes ideas in terrible ways

he could’ve just left a review on yelp, but no.