#i can’t do angst without a light at the end of the tunnel bobby
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olympeline · 7 months ago
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I’m in the mood for angst so here’s my take on the biggest personal demons of each member of the humanverse!FACE family. They’d be a close and loving unit but with some thorny issues to overcome before they get their happy ending:
Francis: Eating disorder. I imagine him working in fashion and no atmosphere is crueler when it comes to weight than Parisian cat walks. Even if he’s a designer and not a model, the pressure for the “face” of the Bonnefoy brand to stay slim and attractive would be huge. A lot of starving himself, living on coffee, awful fad diet “cleanses,” and even popping pills at his worst. Not to mention smoking like a chimney for the appetite suppressant. He’d also have some issues with helicopter parenting with the thirst for perfection leaking from work to family time. Not in a cruel way but more overbearing and micromanaging his sons’ time to try and give them the quote-unquote “best start” in life.
Arthur: Substance abuse. Guy was a punk in his teens and early twenties and the addiction got its claws into him good and deep. Mostly alcohol, but occasionally he might slip into harder things. Arthur would try to kick the habit again and again after Alfred and Matthew are born but would fall off the wagon many times. The twins learn early that if Papa isn’t home and they wake up to sounds of throwing up, they’ll need to make their own breakfast.
Alfred: Undiagnosed neurological condition and then a different kind of eating disorder when he gets older. The former being something with mania and difficulty focusing. Alfred is smart but school would be a chore because it’s so hard for him to sit still. And growing up watching Francis and Arthur’s various issues with food (and drink) left a dark impression. Alfred finds solace in sports when school is tough but the desire to be the best sets him on a path of impossible physical standards. Then he cracks, stuffs himself, falls into a cycle of binge and purge, and Arthur isn’t the only one throwing up and trying to hide it by running the taps to muffle the sound.
Matthew: Glass sibling syndrome. Alfred and his problems monopolised the family focus growing up and Matthew had to make do with what was left over. This left Matthew quiet and anxious but also defeated and with deeply buried anger and resentment towards his twin. He learnt young that trying to compete for the spotlight was pointless so why bother. That rage and bitterness simmers, deep down, and the rest of the family are shocked when quiet, gentle Matthew is suddenly lashing out and getting into fights when he hits his mid-teens. Matthew never learnt how to control his anger and now it’s controlling him.
This family gonna need some serious therapy I tell ya hwat 🥲
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Top 10 Things I Love About Supernatural
It’s been almost half a year since the show ended and now that the dust has settlIed, I just want to list ten reasons I love this show. Despite it’s flaws, it’s been quite the ride.
1. Team Free Will
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When I first got the idea to make this list, I originally planned on doing entirely separate entries for “Sam & Dean” and “Destiel”. Except then I wanted to pay tribute to “Sastiel”. And then I wanted to do an entry for “Team Free Dads”. By that point, I was already halfway through the list and I hadn’t even moved on from the main characters. A few months ago, I made a post about why I love every single pairing in this group. Obviously, Sam and Dean are a legendary duo. Obviously, Dean and Cas have an unparalleled story. Obviously, Sam and Cas are an underrated team. As for Team Free Dads, I’ve always had a soft spot for father/mentor figure characters and and all three tackle the role in different ways. I love Jack, too. I love how everyone in this bizarro family is “broken” in some way. We’ve got the Allistair’s prized pupil, the spawn of satan, the boy with demon blood, and the angel who nearly obliterated all of heaven. But they help each other heal by being supportive and seeing the good in each other. They all love each other so deeply and when together, nothing can stand in their way. Not Michael, not Lucifer, and not God himself. They tore up the book and wrote their own story. And it was a pleasure to watch it all unfold.
2. The Suppporting Characters
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To list every single supporting character I have loved and lost in this show would take way too long. I don’t know if it’s the writing or acting performances, but I love pretty much every single supporting character on this show. Even villains like Azazel or Allistair are top-notch villains. Hell, I even like characters like Metatron, Lucifer, Mary, and John! Characters like Rufus, Charlie, Crowley, Rowena, Kevin, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Gabriel, Balthazar, Mick...how am I not supposed to love them??? All of their stories were cut so short. I’d watch a show about any of these characters. The Wayward Sisters were robbed. So many ships were gone too soon (Sam/Rowena, Dean/Jo, Cas/Meg, Etc.). So many heartbreaking deaths. I want to be best friends with all these characters. Why be a “dean-girl” or a “sam-girl” when you can be a garth-girl? A kevin-girl? A claire-girl? A bela-girl? There are so many great characters with interesting and compelling backstories and so much untapped potential. I could go on forever on this, but I digress.This show has one of the best supporting casts I have ever had the pleasure of watching.
3. The Themes
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It’s no accident that I got addicted to this show at the time that I did. Namely, my Senior Year of College and 2020. Graduating college and entering the “real world” felt like it’s own sort of apocalypse. 2020 definitely exacerbated my worst tendencies. Messages like “family don’t end in blood”, “you can write your own story”, and “always keep fighting” really resonated with me. I could definitely relate to the feelings of insecurity these character’s felt and the ways they suppressed/repressed their issues instead of facing them. I could relate to the feelings of not fitting in and I could definitely relate to the loneliness. This show helped remind me that I’m not alone. That it’s okay if my values and identity don’t line up with the what I envisioned for myself. And, most importantly, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I should never give up. If Dean, Sam, and Cas can keep moving forward despite their demons and despite how bad it gets, so can I. Regardless of how the story ended, these themes resonated with me and I’ll still hold them with me. A single episode can’t take that away.
4. The Fun Episodes
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This show has so many legendary standalone episodes. Changing Channels. Ghostfacers. The French Mistake. Fan Fiction. Tall Tales. Bad Day at Black Rock. When this show goes for the absurd, it goes all-in. It takes the risks it needs to take, it gets completely insane, and it pulls it off. So many of these episodes could have easily been the moment that the show “jumped the shark”. Yet, time after time, the show delivered on it’s potential. I don’t know how much I can say about these episodes except that they made me laugh out loud, made me fall even harder for these characters, and that they’re the episodes I remember best. If I were to rewatch any episode, it would be one of the fun ones. This show knew how to not take itself too seriously and how to poke fun at itself. I’ve always had a soft spot for shows that can make me laugh and cry (X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, Doctor Who, etc.), and this show definitely nails the fun part. 
5. The Sad Episodes
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Death’s Door. Hammer of the Gods. Despair. Carry On. Abandon All Hope. In My Time of Dying. Swan Song. When this show wants you to cry, it doesn’t pull the punches. It gets downright devastating. No character is safe. Literally every character you love will either be forgotten or will die. Or both. The amount of trauma Sam and Dean have to go through is insane. Both have literally been to hell and back. Both have killed countless people, including innocents. When this show decides it wants to wreck you, it’s overwhelming. I sobbed when Bobby died. I sobbed when every single member of Team Free Will died for the final time (I still can’t watch any of those scenes). I still wish Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Kevin, Mick, and Gabriel had been given more time to tell their stories. Being a hunter means a life of endless angst. Being an angel or demon doesn’t get you off the hook, either. I remember going into this show thinking it couldn’t hurt me. My favorite character type is “mentor/father figure”. But holy hell...I don’t think every single sad moment was necessarily good writing, but when it was? Damn. 
6. The Biblical Themes
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I’m not a relgious person. But, despite this show being steeped in Christian mythology, it really touched on my feelings about the Old Testament in a profound way. Well, really just Ben Edlund and Robbie Thompson did. I’ve never seen a show really hit the overall feel of the bible the way this show does. The idea of Angels as mystical and terrifying creatures. The idea of God as a flawed father figure with a penchant for wrath. The sheer epicness of the biblical stories. The idea of family members constantly being turned on each other. Cain and Abel. Jacob and Essau. Moses and Ramses. Moses and Aaron. Abraham and Isaac. The bible is full of stories of family drama. This show doesn’t always give angels and demons weight. Sometimes it’s silly and stupid and cheesy. But when it hits right? It’s epic. This is more of a personal thing I love about the show, but definitely a plus!
7. The Music
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The early seasons music is so good. I really miss the classic rock of the golden era of the show. I mean, there are still some great musical moments later on, but damn. I loved hearing songs I recognized and I loved learning new songs. I loved when the song and the scene hit perfectly in time (Death’s intro. Cas’s return in Season 13.). Also Supernatural wouldn’t be Supernatural without the ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ song at the end of every season. Even at the end of a season I didn’t love, that recap would always get me pumped. Also Chuck singing Fare Thee Well? Dean and Lee singing together? Fan Fiction? All great. 
8. The Cast & Crew
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I never care about the actors or actresses in a show. I definitely don’t bother with the names of specific writers and directors or their styles of writing/directing. They’re just random people who happen to write for or play these characters I love. They’re not actually the characters. But these guys? Well, for one, I’m pretty sure half this cast actually is their character. At least to some degree. They’re also just...really cool people? Who are all friends? They make a point to do community service, to interact with fans, and to promote positive ideas. Jared’s Always Keep Fighting campaign. Misha and GISH. The fact that they all participate in fundraising opportunities and encourage fan engagement. Do they all have issues? Definitely. Have they said stupid things? Yes. But the good far outweighs the bad. They’re an entertaining bunch whether onscreen or not and I hope they all do well in whatever their future endeavors may be.  
9. The Fandom
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I joined this fandom late. To be honest, I thought this fandom was obnoxious before I found myself a part of it. Now that I’ve been in the trenches? It’s got it’s ups and downs like any fandom. There are some parts that are more toxic than others. A lot of people yelling that their opinion is the only opinion. But overall? The good outweighs the bad. And the good? The good is great. Some fanfictions I’ve read are better than actual books I’ve read and just as moving. The fanart? Incredible. I love reading all the metas about random aspects of the show I never would have noticed. I love the music videos and I love the analytical videos. In real life, I’ve made many friends through our mutual love of this show. Hell, even getting sucked into GISH once or twice has given me some solid memories and brought me closer to friends. I wish all fandoms were this much like family. I’m so glad I got to be a part of this fandom and I can’t wait to continue being a fan. After all, nothing ever stays dead in Supernatural.
10. The Chaos & Insanity
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Season 16 has been a time. First, Destiel went canon. Then suddenly Sherlock was having a 5th season, Putin was retiring, and Georgia was going blue. Destiel going “canon” and Joe Biden winning the presidency will always be correlated in my mind now. Things in the fandom went from quiet to blaringly loud real fast. Carry On happened. The fandom went into a civil war. I can’t even remember half of what happened in Season 16, but it’s been a wild ride. There’s been ups (my personal favorite being the french dub and the Saileen wedding). There’s been downs (Jared’s controversial statements and the original scripts being leaked). At one point Misha Collins had sex with Bill Clinton???? It’s been a wild time. It’s honestly gotten me through the end of this pandemic. At least it’s entertaining. I would say that at least all the craziness is over, but is it ever really over? Every time I say that something else completely insane happens. But it’s been fun. I’m glad I started watching this show despite my reservations and here’s to whatever happens next. 
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revwinchester · 7 years ago
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Centerfold - Part 3
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Summary:  Dean stumbles across an interview and photoshoot starring his high school crush (and younger brother’s friend) Castiel.  He decides he’s going to stop at nothing to get back in touch with the boy with the blue eyes who used to sit in front of him in homeroom.
Genre: Mostly fluff with a touch of angst
Pairing: Destiel
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel
Word Count: 1498
Series Warnings: AU - No Supernatural, Porn Star Cas, Mentions of Sex (but no depictions), Bastardization of SPN Lines, Scenes, and Episode Titles
A/N: This whole series came out of a prompt for @thinkwritexpress-official​‘s Back To School Challenge!  The fic is based on the J Gelis Band song “Centerfold” in which a man finds his high school crush on the pages of his favorite porn magazine.  This is the last part before Cas joins us, y’all!!  Also, if one of the scenes looks familiar, I was using a transcript of 4.18 in order to get it just right while I twisted it to fit my story :)
Special thanks to my dearest Night Sloth who reads my stuff before y’all do and assures me it’s decent before I share it.
Find it on AO3
Centerfold Masterlist
Centerfold - Part 3 - 
The next morning, Sam got ready for work and left, parking his car just out of sight and waiting for Dean to leave the house.  He had decided to follow Dean to the city, despite his brother’s instance, so he had taken the day off of work but he had to keep up appearances if he was going to tail his brother.  Not too long after he had left, Sam watched Dean’s car drive by his hiding place and he pulled out to follow.  
As Dean drove into the city, Sam rode behind him staying back just far enough that his brother wouldn’t notice him but close enough that he wouldn’t lose sight of the Impala.  Once they got into the city, Sam was surprised that Dean drove toward the business district, eventually pulling into a parking garage.  Sam parked his car quickly, making it down to the sidewalk in time to see Dean duck into a building across the street.
By the time Sam got inside, Dean was no longer in the lobby but a quick scan of the building’s directory gave Sam an idea as to where his brother had gone.   Hot Rod Hotties had offices on the building’s fourth floor.  Sam elected to take the stairs, figuring he could hide his entrance better than he could on the elevator, and made his way up, his long legs taking the steps two at a time.  When he arrived on the fourth floor, he emerged into the small lobby for the magazine’s offices.  He couldn’t see Dean but he could hear him and Sam smiled at the receptionist.  
To his surprise, she waved him back toward the offices.  Sam didn’t question his luck and followed Dean’s voice, stopping just outside of an open office door to listen.  
“So, you book the talent for the magazine?  You made that interview with Jimmy Novak a reality?” he heard Dean ask.  
A woman answered.  “Yeah, Gosh, Jimmy… He never really gets the attention he deserves.  All anybody wants to watch anymore is that free hard core stuff, you know?  They don’t care about the story.  It’s all two minute videos like, ‘Red Headed Bimbo Gets The Pounding She Deserves.’  How do you get anything done in two minutes?” she scoffed.  “Please…”  Sam could practically hear her eyes rolling.
Sam heard Dean huff.  “I know, it’s just so… there’s no story there,” he agreed.  
Sam held in a snicker.  He could only imagine Dean’s inner turmoil.  His brother loved those short snippets just as much, if not more, than the longer films he’d downloaded but, clearly, sharing that wasn’t going to win him any favors here.
“I’m really hoping that my dissertation can shine a light on storytelling in pornography, bring some attention to an under appreciated art form,” Dean continued.
The woman in the office practically squealed.  “It really is under appreciated.  Thank you!  I mean, the best parts are between the sex!  Like, in Stuck In The Middle , where Jimmy Novak’s character thought he was going to die… he was on the verge of tears as he professed his love to his best friend and it felt so real…” her voice trailed off and Sam was almost positive he heard her sniffle.  “I mean, no offense, but how often do men actually act like that, really let it all out?”
“The orgy that followed really drove that feeling of love home,” Dean joked.  
Sam could practically envision the forced grin on his brother’s face and, apparently, the woman in the office didn’t miss it, either.
“Is that supposed to be funny? How do I know you’re legit?”
Sam imagined her getting up in Dean’s face, maybe poking a finger into his chest.
“Lady, this whole thing is funny,” Dean replied, digging his hole even deeper, but then he added, “Look, I’m legit.  This isn’t some smart ass paper that’s going to make fun of the industry.  I promise you.”
The woman considered Dean for a moment.  “I’m a sucker for a pretty face… what do you need?”
“Well, we were talking about Jimmy Novak, How can I get in touch with him?” Dean asked, almost too quickly.
“Oh, um, no…” The woman sputtered, “no, Sorry.  I can’t do that.”
“Oh, come on,” Dean pled, “I’m a big fan…”
The office was quiet for a few moments, only a rustling sound coming from inside.  Sam wasn’t sure what was going on in there but he was positive that he didn’t care to find out.  After a couple of minutes, Sam decided it was time for him to go.  Dean could be coming out of that office at any minute and Sam did not want to be there when that happened.  
He made his way down to the main lobby, the receptionist on the fourth floor mumbling something about how hot the talent was as he passed.  Sam did his best to blend in while he waited for his brother to come down and exit the building.  It was another few minutes before Dean did - with a giddy look on his face - and Sam followed him out the door.
Something had gone well in that office, Sam mused as he followed his brother down the street and away from the garage where they had parked their cars.  Luckily for Sam, whatever it was had given Dean tunnel vision of a sorts so he didn’t realize that he was being followed through the streets.
Dean turned into a park about two blocks from the office and Sam continued to trail him.  He was back far enough to change his course and creep up behind his brother when Dean stopped and sat on a park bench.  He watched as Dean pulled his phone from his pocket and punched in a phone number that had been written on a sheet of paper Sam hadn’t noticed while it was clutched in his brother’s hand.
As Dean pressed the phone to his ear, Sam quietly moved closer to him so that he could hear his brother’s phone call.  
After a couple of seconds, Dean’s shoulders tensed.  “Um… I…” His words were stilted and cut off and after a couple seconds of floundering, Dean pulled his phone away and slammed his thumb onto the red button that ended his call.  “Shit…” he muttered and Sam couldn’t hold his laughter back.
Snickering, Sam made his presence known to his brother, plopping down next to him on the bench.  “You finally got his number, didn’t you?” he asked, “And you couldn’t even talk to the guy!”  
Dean looked at his brother in shock, surprised that he was even there in this moment of spectacular failure.  “What? How? What… are you doing here?”
Sam’s laughter doubled at his brother’s confusion and it increased again when Dean scowled at him.  Sam forced himself to get under control so that he could answer.  “You were being super cagey last night.  I knew you weren’t in the city to pick something up for Bobby so I followed you.  You weaseled your way into getting Castiel’s number, right?”
Dean tried to summon up some bravado but he knew Sam had heard his phone call.  He hung his head as he replied.  “Yeah, I got his number from the magazine’s offices in town.  And then I totally messed up when I called him,” Dean mumbled.  He sighed deeply and added, “But I guess you know all of that if you’ve been following me.”
Sam sobered up at the defeated tone of his brother’s voice.  He sat beside Dean, trying to find the words that would comfort him without sending him into retreat mode at the indication that feelings might be on the table for discussion.  When that failed him, Sam tried anyway.  “Look, I know I’ve given you a hard time about this but, I mean, there are a lot of guys out there, Dean.  Don’t let this get to you.”
Dean chuckled darkly.  “Sure, Sammy, there are plenty of fish in the sea.  It’s not like I haven’t had a crush on this particular fish since high school, or anything.”
Sam didn’t have a response to that so he sat quietly with Dean for a few minutes.  “Let’s not waste the day, why don’t we head to the record store or something, at least, maybe grab dinner before we head back,” he offered.
Dean smiled up at him and stood, waiting for Sam to join him on his feet.  
Sam knew Dean could spend hours in this particular shop and he wasn’t surprised at all that his brother had made a beeline for the classic rock section.  As Dean began leafing through the boxes of old records, Sam could see that his brother already seemed to be feeling a little better.  They both knew that the distraction was only a temporary fix - a bandaid, so to speak - but it worked for now.  And when Dean wandered into the jazz section, Sam kept his mouth shut.
If you would like to be added to (or removed from) one of my tag lists, please send me an ask and let me know!  The lists I’m tagging for this fic are story specific and then my forevers and my Destiel tags (if anyone signs up for that one).
Centerfold Tags: @shutupiminlooove
ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @sumara62 @ginamsmith @gallifreyansass @samwinjarpad @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74
Destiel Tags from @mrswhozeewhatsis: @mrswhozeewhatsis @thinkwritexpress-official @deandoesthingstome @manawhaat @thegleegeneration @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @ferferelli @fangirling-instead-of-working @chrisatplay @faith-in-dean @mamaimpala @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @curliesallovertheplace @skybinx-blog @purgatoan @impossible-box @deansleather @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @dr-dean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @jotink78 @i-dont-know-how-to-write @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @shelovesallthethings @klaineaholic @hexparker @rockhoochie
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growningupgeek · 8 years ago
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Just Have Faith
Word Count-672 
Characters- Sam x reader, Dean, Crowley, Rowena, Chuck, Amara, Castiel Warnings-angst, Character death 
Prompt-Faith A/N- This was written for @impalaimagining 2K word prompt challenge. My word was "Faith" This also goes to prove that when I set out to write fluff I can't do it. Thanks to @wheresthekillswitch for beta and threatening to lead the mob. Tags below
Of all the things you loved about Sam it was his faith that drew you to him the most.  It was as pure as his smile and as beautiful as his soul. It was a cornerstone of his life and sometimes all he had.  It was your faith in him, even when he didn’t have any in himself that kept you together through the shit storm that was a hunter’s life.
                There was blood everywhere, pouring from cuts and bites.  Dean did what he could but the cuts were too deep, the werewolf had gotten in a lucky shot.  All he could do was put a pressure bandage on the worst of the wounds and hope for the best.  Sam looked at his brother, eyes pleading for him to fix this. There was his faith in Dean. His faith that no matter what went wrong Dean could fix it.  It didn’t matter if it was Baby breaking down, burnt breakfast or a hunt gone wrong; Sam had faith that Dean could make it right.  It was a faith that had been tested by lies, bad decisions and time; it was a little more fragile now but was still one of the pillars his life was built on.  So you looked on sadly as Dean shook his head, indicating that there was nothing he could do to fix this.                Dean squeezed Sam’s shoulder.  A strangled “Sorry, man” was all he could get out before he had to turn away so Sam wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes.  The wound was in a bad place and deep, too deep for his rough and ready medical skills.  On his way towards the Impala he called Crowley and prayed to Cas for help.
  There was his faith in his family.  It started with Dean, but you’d seen it with Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie and Castiel, even Crowley and Rowena to some extent.  It hurt to see that faith falter as first Crowley and Rowena explained their gifts didn’t run to healing and then Cas calling to say he wouldn’t be there in time to help.
                “I’m sorry, Moose, I’m a demon,” was all Crowley said.                                 Rowena said little more, “I’m sorry, Samuel, I didn’t study the healing side of the craft.  I can ease the passing but that’s all.”
                Castiel's voice over the speaker in Dean’s phone was filled with sadness, “I can fly there, but wouldn’t have the power left for healing.  If I drive I will never get there in time.”
      There was his faith in God, even before he found out that God was his friend Chuck.   That faith had let him find light at the end of the darkest tunnel; even though his prayers were seldom answered. Now he prayed to Chuck and Amara both but there was no answer.
                Dean watched as Sam closed his eyes, his lips moving without making a sound.  The younger man kept his eyes closed for several minutes, waiting.  But neither Chuck nor Amara heard him, or if they did they didn’t answer.
      And there was his faith in you.  Above all else he had faith in your love for him, faith in the love you had for each other.  He knew in his soul that the two of you would always be together even when you doubted it.  That faith that was about to be shattered by a werewolf’s claws ripping through skin and muscle.                Sam had gone to find some water for you, leaving Dean by your side.  You touched his hand and Dean leaned in to catch the whisper of your voice, “Watch him, Dean, please don’t let him do anything stupid.”
                “I won’t, YNN,” he reassured you. 
                Sam came back then and sat beside you, taking your hand in his.  Your eyes closed as you felt light headed from blood loss and lack of oxygen. You felt lips brush against yours gently.  The last thing you heard was Sam’s voice whispering in your ear, “We’ll be together again just have faith.”
 -JediCat
 The Usual Suspects-
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