#four days away now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

newlyy · 1 year

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I’m in such a bad place el em ay oh, I feel like shit because of this cyst, but I’m really really anxious about the upcoming surgery to remove it, so I’m just like. Afraid to act, afraid to do nothing.

#four days away now #🤷‍♀️ just gotta get through #every night I start freaking myself out and I know I’ll be anxious on the day #he doctor said they can give me something for anxiety when I arrive for surgery #I really hope it’s enough #I have this fear of like. right as I’m about to be out under I freak out and start screaming and can’t go through with it #this is such a minor thing in the grand scheme of things #like it’s a step above getting your tonsils out I think #but I’m just like what if I die.#and that’s what I’m afraid of—that being injected to be out under is going to feel like getting a lethal injection #🙃 stupid!

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shorlinesorrows · 2 months

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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

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tangledinink · 11 months

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i want desperately for you guys to know that this is how swanatello was born. he was designed and drawn in a span of approximately 30 minutes at work and made originally with the only intention being "pun." thanks @actuallynobutwhynot for getting me to make him lmao i gotta draw him and your sona together sometime.

#swanatello #and look at us now jfc #i didnt even intend for him to have any kind of a story i just sort of #made it up recently #as i did shitty doodles of him while talking about risesonas with friends #thanks also @ beanarry for making me want a donniesona in the first place #and @ sep council for bringing up risesonas and getting me to dust him off #and thanks @ bean again for getting me to post him lol i wasnt expecting anyone to??? care abt him #like to be fair its not like hes BLOWING UP or whatever but i have never gotta so much attention in my askbox before #and he has literally existed on tumblr for #like #four days #and i have gotten SO many asks and fanart and shit abt him and i am just blown away and also absolutely TICKLED #thanks gang #i am glad you like him #..... <3 #i like him too #i like telling his story #and im really happy that i have kind of been tricked into just?#doing really shitty low effort doodles and being ok with that being what i post?#it is very freeing #anyway thanks <3 #i will get to all the asks eventually #some of them im hanging onto #because answering them involves dropping MAD lore and sort of slingshotting the story forward and i dont wanna like #reveal everything right away ig?#so patience plz <3 #i will get to everything i can eventually

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aeolianblues · 2 months

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one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.

#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking #'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting #the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered'#No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100 #why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down?#Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago #Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon #I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness.#We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival #as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence #but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃#The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate #anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it #and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it

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feline-evil · 2 months

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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level #for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda #changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is #don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men #his transness wouldnt change that #only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band #is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had #he becomes more caring more supportive #it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind #and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences #i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways #to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it #so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine #i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt #but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues #and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does #again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol #AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans #do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model #I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA

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restinthewest · 1 year

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#some nights are like this #where I linger on a photo or a memory for too long and I start to hurt #like physically really hurt #my teeth and jaw ache and it hurts to blink and my skin is tender #that started the night of his death- I got home from the vet and went to bed and couldn’t believe the physical pain #took four Benadryl just so I could knock out and get away from it #I sit with it most of the time now because that’s the last thing he gave me #the waves pass and then the next day I get up and go about my life even if I do it kind of badly #resiliency and forgiveness are what Jackalope modeled best #and I try to follow in his footsteps as I always did #one foot in front of the other

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wildpuppa · 1 year

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A lil four shrug emote as a treat, he looks a little sad 🤣

Edit: more emoji friendly crop I hope 🤣

#by yours truly #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu four #linked universe four #i really wanted to draw this at like 1am lmao #but i resisted but i was still sick and woke uo coughing at like 2am #and then slept half my day away and now its 9pm

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slasherscream · 2 months

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really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions #with the people who come to this blog #like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY #and these days in fandom there really is no community #for any fandom across the board #people see something and move on #that's bad enough at killing fandoms #but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day #day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man!#i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it #but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects #and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/#one of my FEW rules #it's exhausting to even see it !!!#it makes me not feel like a person #who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done #i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years??#and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it #no matter how many reminder posts #it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing #idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh #exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off #TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 9 months

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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baeshijima · 3 months

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SAY IT AINT SO

CLOVERLEAF GAMES SAY IT AINT SO OMFGGDJSJDKSAAAAAAAAAAA

#sophie’s idle chatter #21ST MARCH. THATS THREE DAYS. AWAY. FROM NOW. IMSOFHNSKAS.#AFTER FOYR YEARS HE IS FINALLY AVAILABLE OUR SOULMATE IS SOULMATING #ABD FOR THE LOH FOURTH YEAR ANNIV OMG ONGDHGFJSKSKSA AAAHAHSJAKLQAAAAAAA #ROUIN MY LOVE MY BELOVED PLS PLS PLSSPSLSLSLPSLS COME HOME I WILL SELL MY SOUL FOR U PLS I AM SO SERIOUS RN PLSODKSPSJFAAAA #AND FIRE ONDAL????? EARTH RASHID??????? LIGHT LYN??????? LAIREI AVILLON KNIGHTS SKIN??????? THROWING UP I CANT DO THIS RN #....oH MY GOD WAIT DOES THAT MEAN ROUIN SKINS????? ROUIN SKINS CAN NOW BE REAL??? MORE ROUIN OFFICIAL ARTS FOR FUTURE EVENTS????????#HAPPY FOUR YEARS OF LOH LIKE ACTUALLY 😭😭😭😭

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juice-enjoyer · 6 months

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finally playing disco elysium. some snippets that have made me feel absolutely insane so far

#txt #disco elysium #just started day four...i did so much on day three after sending kim away and now i kinda regret it...gotta retrace and continue on #i'm playing 4-4-2-2 with inland empire btw :) i'm enjoying it

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dandyshucks · 1 month

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been coping with [gestures vaguely at family] by writing a little thing in my notes app of Guz and I having an exhaustion-fueled and stress-fueled argument and how we would handle that because good golly it is definitely better than how this family handles it lmao at the very least it would not be Constant Griping :')))

#get me OUTTA HEREEE #we might be gone an extra day now bc of some stuff happening and im just like... wanting to cry a little bit bc of it fjdkdl #my god these ppl sure can gripe though. its genuinely like. at least 60% of the talking is just complaining or arguing #i have been staying quiet as much as i can without being too quiet bc then i get accused of ''pouting'' or being ''owly''#im just trying to keep my mouth shut so yall dont get snippy at me 😭😭#i am exhausted tbqh dhfkfl we have... four or five more days left depending on if we take that extra day away #gritting my teeth and pushing through this !!!! with the love of blorbo giving me strength LMAO #it's kind of comforting though to write about arguments with Guz bc we would be able to talk it out afterwards #and figure out better ways of handling things and be proactive and also ACTUALLY APOLOGIZE GOODNESS GRACIOUS PLEASEEEE #okay theres my vent. its been bad DJFJDKL but I don't wanna come on here and dump my shit out everywhere and then disappear LOL #there have been pockets of good though so fjfkdl i take what i can get !! enjoying what i can !!#vent //#dandy.cmd

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mossflower · 8 months

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loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

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fictionadventurer · 1 year

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Me, every single time I see my four-month-old nephew: How are you the BIGGEST BABY in the ENTIRE WORLD? Is it possible for a baby to be in the 100th-percentile of height and weight, because I think think you might qualify. You are a bowling ball of a baby. You are going to be seven feet tall but inherit the basketball skills from my side of the family so that high school coaches will weep as you pass and lament that you're in the chess club.

#i mentioned this to my dad and he's like 'what do you mean? he's a decent size for a nine month old'#the boy's in 12-month clothes now #i'll get used to it when i babysit or whatever but every single time i see him after a couple of days away #it just hits like a freight train #he's also a very snuggly baby so despite his size he wants to nestle #and then you're surprised in the other direction #by remembering 'even though you're so big you're actually just tiny'#i was his favorite person for a while (i'm a big hit with the under-four-months crowd)#but he's just starting to get shy #i made him sob by giving him attention today #though fortunately on reapproach he'd figured out i was not a threat and i regained security clearance to receive smiles

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ereborne · 4 months

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Song of the Day: February 20

“Run Away” by Sarah Jarosz

#song of the day #I just woke up from my nap and I think I'm going to go back to sleep and try to have this be my night's sleep actually #it'll put my 'morning' at between three and four most likely but that's better than going to sleep at sunrise #considering I still have work from nine to five #so this is a very oddly placed song of the day but I'm rolling with it. time is fake and this is a self-run project #I don't know much Sarah Jarosz but she's got a lovely voice. maybe I should look up more of her music #heard this song for the first time just before I went to sleep and now I've woken up humming it #don't know most of the words yet but I know there's something about a heart #something something 'creatures of the night / set each other free / run away with me' and then into the chorus #lovely lovely sound on that chorus something like #'hold me tight / don't let me go / sweet and soft / no one will know / we can run away'#don't quote me on these lyrics I've heard it once and I'm half asleep but do believe me when I say it's very pretty #gonna be a good song to sing to the bread once I get the words down

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cloud-somersault · 9 months

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constellations chapter 3 is SO GOOD idk what the fuck happened there, but go OFF!!!

#i know everyone's in chapter 4 land but 3 is SOO GOOD #bro the stone forest alone....HELP #ugh it was so hard writing wukong's rage form but HOLY SHIT!! reading it after is so hype #do u ever just sit in a pavilion as the rain gently falls...with your ex-husband and mentee....and it's quiet and peaceful but #there's a strong turbulence going on deep inside you :3 #the way wukong always dusts MK off and wipes his tears away and makes sure he's clean faced and ready to go #speaks to how much wukong cares about vanity #i mean he also is expressing comfort and compassion but. he also cares about appearances a lot #but anyway -- do you also ever have a conversation with your ex-husband through eye contact alone?#i think they've done that four times in this fic...#mk the entire journey: every day i get a little more homophobic #HE'S SO TIRED!!!!#MK after talking to wukong and macaque at the inn: yeah haha! i seriously wanna go home now! 🙃#MK on the phone: DADSY /PLEASE/ COME PICK ME UP!!!!#macaque seeing Wukong's eyes for the first time and actually stopping everything that he was doing #and just looking at wukong and being like “haha...heeyyy what the fuck?? did they do to you??” chef's kiss #wukong and macaque just talking while macaque captures that random man's shadow...please #as they reminisce about how things used to be...how easily they talk to each other when they're not guided by hate #that's the thing it's how easily they fall into step with one another #that's shadowpeach. they'll be off balance or one will be running and the other walking. they'll get distracted or whatever. but #they'll always fall back into step with one another #and that's why they've got to walk with each other. step by step...so they can stop being afraid 😌

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