#and these days in fandom there really is no community

[keferon]

Hiii I'm the author of To Fight Aliens, and I wanted to thank you for reccing my fic! I just woke up to a bunch of ao3 notifications and it really made my day :D Had kind of a rough time of it recently so writing's going slow but this lit a fire under my ass to try to get it done in time for the weekend (hopefully)!

Seeing folks say they check for updates was so niceys... thank you one more time for sharing and for generally being a huge inspiration for the entire fandom to create and collaborate <3 it's been a joy to write again for a community that's so warm and receptive, and you're a big part of fostering that

Auuwwjfnnf thank you I’m glad I could boost your mood:3

Can’t wait to see if Jazz actually dies of suffocation inside his mech❤️/j

[ranchstoryblog]

Fandom Memories: HMFarm

Hmmm. So, nearly a quarter of you whippersnappers wanna hear about the good ol' days, huh? Well, back in the day, you wouldn't just hang out on one or two big websites to try to find people who shared your niche interests among a million random users. Everything had its own dedicated site, with its own special pack of weirdos that you probably wouldn't find anywhere else. Home grown fandom, sprouting from the cement sidewalks of the freshly paved internet like so many weeds with pretty little flowers on top. So, let's take a little stroll down memory lane and visit one of the oldest fan sites with Archive.org's "Wayback Machine."

Ahh, just like I remember it. This here is "Harvest Moon Farm." 'course, we just called it HMFarm, like the URL did. This used to be the place to be. The prime progenitor of all farmin' fansites in the English speaking community. Maybe not the literal first, but up until around 2005, this was where you would go if you wanted to know anythin' about digital farmin'. It truly was a magical place to visit.

This screenshot isn't the oldest design, but it's the one I fondly remember. The majority of my time using the site was during the lead-up to A Wonderful Life, which was probably also when it was the most active as an information source. Seeing the screenshots, checking the forums, speculatin', wonderin', dreamin'... It's a warm feeling. I can't really describe how it felt to look at these shots for the first time. Granted, they were mostly sourced from various places like IGN or Newtechnix, but who wanted to go to THOSE messy sites when all the info I wanted was right here? IGN wasn't telling me how to revive the Vineyard in Harvest Moon 64 while I was waiting for AWL news either.

Our first look at the character we would come to know as Muffy, the sheer novelty of being able to go into the townsfolk's glorious, 3D-rendered rooms, the apparent misidentification of flowering tomatoes... The webmaster, Gamergirl87, would caption each one as well. Some of the captions of those screenshots ended up not being exactly true, but it was the closest thing to on-going coverage we really had. Who else was there to trust?

It's a little off topic, but I think at one point after learning about the GBA connectivity, I must have dreamed about this very gallery and seeing a screenshot of a Gamecube-ized Popuri with the caption that Mineral Town villagers would visit after connecting the GC and GBA together. At least, I'm pretty sure it was a dream. I've met some people who claim they saw the same thing, but none of us have been able to find that screenshot or comment again.

The one that would most catch my attention was the one on the left here. I didn't have a PlayStation 2, so I was coming fresh off of the GameBoy and Nintendo 64 when going into A Wonderful Life. The pond, the mysterious glowing plants, the mood and ambiance of their lighting, the little tree on the door... Naturally, I mirrored it on my first day the remake was available.

It's a real shame that the message boards are poorly preserved, since it doesn't look like there was a news post about the pre-order plush cow. I was hoping to find the name of whoever it was that convinced me to commit my first ever preorder. I still have the receipt, but without the forum post it's really only tangentially related to HM Farm.

'course, just learning about existing games and upcoming games wasn't the only good thing HM Farm was for. As I alluded to, there was a whole community here! While it's a shame that the message boards aren't well preserved by the Wayback Machine, you know what is?

The "ideas" list! This incredible time capsule was one of the first "interactive" parts of the site, starting in the year 2000. It's kind of fun to see how many of these ideas actually happened. Obviously, new characters and personalities were probably expected, but Animal Parade would eventually feature a honeymoon, several games have clothing and other customization, a mall, city, and pig would be added as soon as GBC 3, a goat would be in A Wonderful Life... It's actually amazing how prescient a lot of the suggestions are.

I'd share the whole thing, but the amount of e-mail addresses involved gives me pause. Still, there's a couple I wanna highlight:

Considering how often I still hear about people wanting to marry the moms and people attributing it to just "the fans getting older," it's funny to see Laserion lay out that, no, we've always been like this. Right down to using Manna's unhappy marriage and Lillia's husband never returning as valid reasons they should be available.

Tuan145, on the other hand, I just find extremely amusing because of the specific "2002 Escalade" part. Yes, this is clearly the ideal vehicle for all farmers in the Story of Seasons universe. This is now accepted headcanon. The boat was added in GBC 3 too, so obviously a 2002 Escalade is going to be added any day now.

Another thing that's amazingly well preserved is the site's fan art section. There's a few missing images here and there, but for the most part the entire thing is open to explore. People of basically all ages and skill levels happily submitted their creations, including original characters, digital art, traditional art, crossovers with popular series like Sailor Moon, a liiittle bit of drug use... Y'know, all the kinds of things you'd expect to see in a fan art gallery of the day.

Even better, some of the artists are still doing art today! Looking around, I quickly discovered one of my favorites, Rina Cat, is now on Blue Sky. I made sure to ask for permission to repost their art before including it here. Reaching out to everyone would be a bit much though, so I'll just encourage you to just browse the gallery using the Wayback Machine yourself. There's poetry and fanfics too!

There's a lot more to the site, including useful bits of history like keeping track of release dates for games, pre-release screenshots, and information that was only available on Japanese websites at the time, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Unfortunately, though the site continued to be updated until 2010 and stayed online until 2021, it's no longer available on the regular internet and the URL doesn't seem safe to access anymore. I wanted to include an interview with the former webmaster as well, but all their readily available contact information was tied to the website and I haven't had any luck so far in finding other means of contact. If I have any success, I'll be sure to make a follow-up! If you have any memories of HMFarm, or other fan sites, I'd be happy to hear about it.

[chronically-ghosted]

Despite 2024, we still made it to 2025! Now let's celebrate that accomplishment!

Thank you to everyone who submitted to celebrate this fandom and the wonderful people in it! Fandom is about community, and we are nothing without it. I got the warm and fuzzies reading through all the lovely submissions so I hope you feel it too! Happy New Year!

🥶 nominate a person who made the year extra special

🌟 @cavillscurls nominated @kiwisbell 🌟

and my shoutout goes to the very special @kiwisbell. not only is she the most trusted beta, kindest friend, and brilliant writer, but most recently (and excitingly) the greatest collaborator and writing partner. meeting her—and meeting her in PERSON this summer—remain the highlights of my year. i’m not going to go into my dissertation on the importance and special nature of internet friendships, but just know that the light, creativity, and openness she brings to this fandom and to my life are things i will never take for granted. i am certain our next year will be better because she’s in it! I LOVE YOU.

(this is the attached photo and i HAD to include it 😭)

🌟 @bitchesuntitled nominated @beefrobeefcal 🌟

Hooooly shit. What can I say about Kiki that I haven’t already told her?! She is an amazing human being and I aspire to be like her. She is so kind even when others are not so nice. She’s one of the most creative people I know and I absolutely love when we get on a tangent in ALL CAPS ABOUT AN IDEA. She is so willing to help anyone and everyone- whether it’s a fic or a moodboard or you’re just feeling down in the dumps about something! I think she is one of the best people in this fandom and I am so glad to have her in my life ❤️ Also just a bit of a personal story to show the kind of person she is, when I was first getting sober I was worried about how I would handle July 4th because as an American it’s a very ‘Merica fuck yeah! Let’s drink! holiday and she checked in on me multiple times during the day and let me just ramble to her about different things so that I wouldn’t be tempted to drink 🥰❤️🥰❤️ So yeah, she’s a good egg.

🌟 @sixhours nominated @bumblepony 🌟

Hello m'dear, I have an entry for your end-of-year celebration. 🥶 I wanted to give a shout-out to @bumblepony who, in addition to being a talented and prolific fic writer, has commissioned sooooooo many artworks for other TLOU fanfic writers this year (myself included). She's a gem, and this fandom is so fortunate to have her. 🥰

🌟 @bluestar22x nominated @trulybetty and @morallyinept 🌟

Can't narrow down my pick for this to one, so @trulybetty and @morallyinept are both getting nominated. Both have been so kind and supportive of me and both are super talented writers. Thank you both for your kind words and sharing your wonderful fics.

🌟 @i-love-movies nominated @thegreenkid2 🌟

I nominate @thegreenkid2 with whom I had so many lovely chats about Pedro and movies in general sometimes for hours and very late into the night. I really enjoy geeking out together over so many different things.

🌟 @sp00kymulderr nominated @dieterbravobrainrotclub 🌟

Every member of the brainrot club, for being feral and silly and fun and thoughtful and insightful in so many ways. For making my year extra special. For making so many fun memories, and helping to lighten the mood. For your dedication to the man that is Dieter Bravo.

☃️ your favorite line of fic that you wrote this year

🌟 @bluestar22x - The Outcast

Favorite line: Guiding you into your future, like you had guided him home.

Fic: The Outcast

What makes it special to you: It's hard to pick one line from a fanfic I wrote this year, but I do love this line that ends my story "The Outcast". It's the first favorite line I thought of because it's simple and calls back to how it began. The fic is very themed around finding/discovering what you need with the help of another person.

🌟 @bitchesuntitled - Xerox

Favorite line: Jamie lets out a pathetic, “Oh d-d-dear,” sounding almost identical to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, and audibly gulps while furiously nodding his head.

Fic: Xerox

What makes it special to you: I knew from the moment I started writing this story that I wanted Xerox!Pedro to be this inexperienced bumbling idiot and thinking about him stuttering out an “Oh dear” like Piglet cracked me up so much 🤣 It still makes me laugh whenever I see it/think about it

🌨️ your favorite memory from fandom this year

🌟 @sp00kymulderr had a favorite memory with @chronically-ghosted

We created the Dieter Bravo Brainrot Club in January 2024 and it has been easily my favourite place to hangout this year. I'm so glad that it exists, and I want to shout out: YOU, Taylor. The Dieter brainrot would not even exist without you. I love how we have spent so much time together this year spiralling over That Man. I love that I got to read so many of your wonderful fics about him, and scream about him with you. I love that we created a space together for others who feel the same way. I love being your friend.

🌟 @i-love-movies had a favorite memory with @miss-mandalorian

This fandom gave me a lovely friendship with @miss-mandalorian which I cherish very much even though a big ass ocean lies between us and we have yet to meet IRL. She just recently set me the most lovely gift. 💖

🌲 your favorite piece of media you made for fandom this year

🌟 @i-love-movies is super proud of:

Gladiator 2 South Park! Pedros

"I made this set of Gladiator 2 South Park! Pedros. I haven't posted a lot of South Park! Pedro this year cause I didn't feel very creative. This one sparked some of my creativity again."

[minniesmutt]

     I know I’m a few days late to talk about this, but I still want to. I also want other’s opinions on this, and I do have a poll going for the week to see what others say, but regarding Stray Kids Offical Fan Club, as an international stay, it is not worth it in my personal opinion.

     I have seen other stays on social media talk about this as well and why they won’t be getting the fan club this year. I have only been a stay since January of 2023. So, I can only speak about the fan club from last year and not the year before. But I did want to share this in case I’m weirdly the only person you ever see talk about this or value my opinion in some way (please don’t; that’s a lot of responsibility on me, and most of my opinions come off as asshole-y)

     Most of what I have gathered as to why I-Stays are upset or not getting the fan club is as follows: pricing, lack of benefits, and difficulties with yes24.

     Starting with yes24, it is a little hard to navigate, especially if your device is translating it to your native language since not every language can share the same words/phrases when translating from one to another. Sometimes, I have to fill in the blanks in my head when translating from Korean to English on the site, so it makes sense in my head. But that’s not the main reason I’m seeing issues.

     Many I-stays are having payment issues. When they enter their card information, they get a lot of error pop-ups saying something is wrong—yes24 also will not let you use PayPal or any other payment site to pay—and I will admit I remember having this problem last year with the 4th-gen fan club, Stay Hideout. Along with the payment issues, overseas shipping for the kit is 2-3x as much as the kit. Now, the kit is a small box with photo cards, a photo book, ID badges, and lots of other little goodies that (at least for me) kinda just sit on our shrines/displays. The box is about $25 USD, and from what I remember, I paid about $80 last year.

     Some people may think, “$80 isn’t too bad. I’d pay that for all that stuff!”. And if you have the money to spend that, I applaud you for having your finances sorted out like that. Not everyone can afford that.  But Stays are also promised other perks within Fan Club. Part of that is Exclusive FANS content and concert perks—from what I have read, presale codes, fan club ticket prices, and stay zone. From my personal experience, I only got full FAN access— community posts, commenting, interacting with the boys, etc.— and the kit. I did not have presale codes for the tour— my stop is in May— and from what other stays have said on SM, there is nothing for those of us with the membership at the concerts like there is for K-stays. Paying way more in just shipping to receive fewer benefits because we live farther.

     FANS are a whole other thing. If you don’t know and are wondering why I said “full FANS access,” that is because last year when FANS first launched, everyone, fan club or not, could comment on the community. This had led to —I did not see this happening, but I did see the message JYPE decided to put out regarding this— hate being directed towards the boys on the public forum. JYPE then changed everything and made it so that you could only really do anything on there if you had a fan club membership. This did upset a few baby stays, from what I saw, who did want to interact but had joined the fandom after the recruitment period. The “exclusive content” they told us we would get was BTS photos and photos for their birthdays. Then, they would get shared by other stays not long after they were posted.

     Yes, you could sign up for events, but most of them are live, and not everyone can drop everything and get on a plane to Korea to participate in these events. Looking back, there were a few streaming events for their albums last year, and that was it. But those were then posted on the x/twitter account. So it wasn’t “exclusive”

     And with FANS, the only ones actively engaging with stay are Hyunjin, Seungmin, and I.N. Chan and Changbin for a day, Felix and Lee Know are very rarely there. Han posted one thing, and he was never heard from again on FANS. I (personally) would rather pay for their bubble subscriptions than have FANS access.

     Now, if you are okay with all this as an I-Stay, go ahead and buy that membership, babes! If you read this and go, “What the fuck?” I’m with you. I-stays are in the background as they cater to k-stays and j-stays, which I understand. Stray Kids is a Korean boy group first, and they do have Japanese albums and debuts (I do how that all works; I just see J-stays getting better perks than other i-stays, i.e., dome tour), so the company does focus on them more. But a lot of us I-stays are there for the streaming events. We are a very large part of their fan base, and we all know if they could do more for us, they would. Skz does not know us, but they do love us. If you just like having all their merch and stuff, it might be worth it in that aspect, but it's up to you. I just wanted to share what I saw and what I felt.

TLDR: Pay too much for two things and skz are barely active on the community app so it’s not worth it in my opinion.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!

  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

Chapter 10

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: slight blood, mention of past self-harm (biting thumb on purpose), accidental self-harm(? + biting thumb without meaning to, biting lip hard enough to make lip bleed without meaning to), mention of injuries (thumb, bruised knees, knee injury from falling off a bike with a rock lodge into it because of horrible luck), near panic attack(s), one or two (1 or 2) suggestive lines but not for sexual gratification,  Zac making fun of the Reader in the stereotypical sibling way, Reader is NOT having a good time, slight sadistic themes, implied/slight themes of possessiveness and obsessiveness from Dion, Dion sucks at causal and healthy communication do not be like him. Please tell me if I missed any. 

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS ACTIONS AND/OR BEHAVIOR THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOeGS/BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACT OR REBLOG ANYTHING FANDOM RELATED (FICS, ART, ETC.) DNI. 

NOTE: work got canceled due to snow so I was able to work on this for almost an entire day (5pm to 11:38 pm at the time of writing this).

= = =

“What happened here?” 

His tone is demanding for an answer, not asking for one. His grip is tight and you can’t help but wince as he squeezes it further. Should you answer him? Or change the topic?

Lie or tell the truth? 

Hide or stay?

Gulping, you weakly try to pull your hand back, averting your gaze as your voice disappears. 

You hate the color of his eyes, they remind you of the blood you drew from your own person hours ago. You hate the blackness of his hair, it reminds you of the last time you closed your eyes in your previous life. You hate his figure, it makes you feel small. 

“I accidentally cut it on a letter your mother gave me.” Mentally cringing as you both lie and bring up Maria’s little ‘gifts,’ you offer an answer. A fake one, but an answer regardless. The question is, would he believe it? Or rather, accept it?

“Bad enough for it to be wrapped up?” 

The answer is no.

“Yes. You don’t realize just how sharp paper can be.” When you wearily look at him again, you’re met with an expressionless face. Eyes that hold no joy nor sorrow nor anger. Lips drawn in a relaxed line as he just stares. It’s scary. He’s scary.

Did your mother and sister give you advice for a situation like this…?

Ah, but how could you go against a man who’s hand easily closes around your wrist?

…you could offer yourself, but… 

Your husband’s eyes leave your face and travel to your thumb, his pointer finger tapping where your nail would be. Just how long are his fingers…? 

The question quickly leaves your mind as he slightly bends, free hand tangling itself in your hair as he holds the back of your head. Eye to eye, you fear that the grim reaper is just around the corner, heartbeat loud enough that he could probably hear it. Your hand starts to jerk uncontrollably as your body shudders. 

“Then unwrap it. If it’s just that, then it’s nothing to hide.” 

“...wha… it’s - it’s late - why don’t we just sleep…? You look tired. Really tired.” Just as you practiced, you offer a smile, a wavering one, but a smile regardless. You pull your hand again and this time he releases it. Rubbing your poor wrist with your left hand, body shaking as he continues to stare you down, still holding the back of your head. 

Still in close proximity. 

His gloved hand cups your cheek, and instead of a fluffy feeling you’re met with terror, lips quivering as your smile fades away. Eyes shaking in their sockets, head slightly shaking side to side, bruised knees that seemed to remember they were injured in the first place. 

The pain meds you took twice wore off. 

Your thumb and knees start to ache as your breathing becomes shallow. You should run. 

You should run.

“You’re crying again,” he wipes away a tear that nearly rolls down your cheek with his thumb. You’re crying? Since when?

“...let go…please.”

You beg and your lungs only relax when he does as you plead, but not before swiping your bottom lip with his thumb. But the fear doesn’t leave you. Your survival instincts are still telling you to run. Your injured body parts still dully ache. 

Dion stands tall once more, watching you, his wife, fall apart mentally as you fail to collect yourself. You don’t break down crying but tears still form. They blur your vision. 

“I heard that Hana gave you pain medication. Twice. Was the cut that bad?” 

Your mind lags, not understanding his words. It catches up a minute later, slowly nodding your head ‘yes.’ Questions and thoughts swirl in your mind, blinking as he asks you this. 

Did Hana tell him? 

Did he ask her?

Maybe she was obligated to inform him the moment he returned.

Or maybe she was spying on me after all. 

“I’m…weak to pain. You - you know that…” Your throat is parched as you answer him meekly. Your skin becomes damp from sweat and cold, fingers and toes curling the longer he keeps up the integration. For fucks sake, were you his wife or prisoner? 

“I’d imagine that losing your virginity is a different type of pain.” 

“I-it doesn’t change the fa-fact I’m weak to it… oh, where, um, did the blood come from?” A weak and stupid attempt to change the topic, tilting your head as your eyes zone in on the blood splatter on his cheek. It’s a miracle that you haven’t lost your mind by now. 

That you’re able to talk without becoming a total mess. 

You prefer the perverted Dion from the night before yesterday compared to this Dion who does nothing but integrates  you.

How funny. 

“Work.” Is all he says before wiping it off with the back of his hand. It only serves to smudge red across pale skin. “Where did the bruises on your knees come from?” 

How… How did he know about that? 

Oh -! Right. Hana saw them after checking your body once she noticed you limping. You lied about how you got them - merely acting out your wifely duties, as you told her, unable to make eye contact. She must have thought that the puffy eyes were from the disgust you felt the second you woke up.

She probably told him. 

“I-I… fell off the bed while asleep.”

“That hard? And perfectly on your knees?” 

Why was he questioning you? To further your suffering, face grave as seconds go by? To enjoy how your body stiffens which each word that leaves his mouth? To tear you apart, to see what makes you tick, to see how far he could push you until you lose your mind?

…yes to all of them. 

He was an Agriche. 

“You left… bruises on my hips… they’re still healing. It’s not odd to assume I bruise easily after that.” Unable to keep eye contact, you look past him, at the doors. Could you outrun him? No. But if you try, would he let you?

No. Not when the look he gave you upon entering the room spelled out imprisonment for your future. But for how long?

Your husband has different thoughts.

Dion considers lifting up the blanket, shoving up the hem of your nightgown to see the purple blobs on your knees himself. He also considers taking your hand and forcibly unwrapping the bandage around your thumb to see if it really was a cut caused by paper… or rather, to expose your lies.

Ah, but when you look at him like, like a rabbit shivering in front of the predator like the prey it is, how could he? It should have been a nice sight. Encourage him to take a bite like how he was trained to. 

But it’s hard when it’s you. 

He scowls. The facial expression makes you shudder with dread, thinking he’s mad at you. In reality it’s because he’s disgusted with himself - this isn’t acceptable. He’s too soft with you. 

He craves for your gentleness while installing fear into you, be it intentional or not. 

The night before yesterday had you both acting out of character. True feelings out in the open only to be canned the next day. The cycle always repeats as such. A cycle you’re unaware of and one he can’t forget. 

Even so, he can’t help but be gentle with you.

As gentle as he could and can be. 

He should drop the conversation. 

But curiosity prevents him from doing so, knowing, your thumb had bite marks, that your knees were badly bruised, with Hana telling him with a small flush on her face that your explanation was that you ‘performed your wifely duties,’ despite nothing escalating between the two of you. 

It must have slipped your mind that if asked, she, a maid of Agriche, would report everything; your actions, your behavior, your words if deemed important enough. 

But he didn’t ask her, she told him of her own volition  - most likely concerned that Dion was pushing you past your limits. How sweet of her.

He wonders why you’re so insistent on lying to him.

“If it’s nothing then it shouldn’t bother you to show them.” 

Meanwhile, you’re crying on the inside. Sure, the tears are only building up and not rolling down your cheeks. Sure, he’s not holding a sword to your throat. Sure, he’s not choking you. And sure, after a quick glance at his crotch, there’s no boner meaning that he’s not gaining some twisted sick sexual pleasure from this. 

But it’s - he’s - still threatening all the same. 

The husband from the night before, the one who teased you, the one who was far more lax - you’re starting to miss him. Not out of affection but because he stopped when you told him to.

“Since it’s nothing it shouldn’t matter if I show you or not.” An argument that’s barely above a whisper. Why can’t he just drop it? From the deep and dark circles under his eyes it’s clear he’s tired - shouldn’t he use this opportunity to get some sleep?

Unless… he can’t?

“S- so, let's just sleep. Please?” Maybe if you cry harder he’ll grant you mercy. “Pl- plus the dinner with father-in-law… it’s best to get enough sleep so we -  I mean I won’t feel like a zombie, haha…,” you wipe the tears away before he could even think about doing it. 

You can’t fake a smile and your laugh was so clearly forced. Your blood still feels cold, hands clammy as you interlock them on your lap. Your knuckles turn white from the force, discomfort ignored. 

Your knees and thumb won’t stop aching. Your heart won’t calm down and your mind refuses to stay still. It’s still hard to breathe, lungs working overtime as you force your breath to stay somewhat steady. Time isn’t moving. 

Your concern isn’t necessary is on the tip of your tongue, so close to being said. Courage is only gained when you’re too tired to feel the fear. 

So leave me alone satan.

As a little girl, you wanted a prince. As a younger teenager you wanted, no, hoped for a decent husband. 

Your wishes were denied in the worst way possible as Agriche set their eyes on your family. Denied once you somehow caught Dion’s attention, no matter how fleeting it might be. He considers you his, but it’ll only last for a bit. 

You don’t look at him. “Arguing about this… it’s only wasting time, n-no?” You’re not calm in the slightest - simply weakly adjusting to the situation. You still want to run and you’re still on the verge of having another panic attack, eyes swirling as Dion takes a seat near the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. 

Instead of taking off those ridiculous boots he stares at you. Instead of getting ready for bed, like he should, he stares at you. Instead of leaving you to your own devices, he stares at you.

It’s unnerving. 

“...um, you should get some rest…,” you feel naked under his gaze, deciding to get up from the covers and go to the nightstand, blowing the candle out. Now it’s only moonlight that beautifully illuminates the room. If not for your circumstances, you would have viewed the scenery as romantic. 

Your legs shake under your weight as you aimlessly walk to the dresser, knees begging for rest. Fingers tap against the black surface. One foot tapping on cold tile as you listen for the bed to creak, scared he’ll corner you right here, the possibility of Dion caging you with his arms against this piece of furniture far too real. Subconsciously you bite your thumb hard only to immediately let go once you hear the bed creak. 

“So,” you can feel him closing in on you, skin crawling as a violent shudder overtakes your body. Grabbing your right wrist with his larger hand, you look at him from the side of your eye as he stands to your right. “That’s what happened.” 

You already knew he wasn’t stupid, that he was smart and cunning. Why is he bothering himself with you instead of using that mind of his to fuck with someone else? 

 Is this how Roxana felt when he grabbed her bandaged wrist tight enough for the bandages to come loose and make the wound bleed again? Cornered like a rabbit? 

“...you’re overthinking this.” You fail in jerking your hand away, your husband’s grip firm. He squeezes your wrist before lessening the pressure. You feel like a child being scolded, but instead of being sent to the corner, you feel like you’re going to be sentenced to death. 

A small grin and scarlet eyes filled with amusement as he says, “Am I?” 

Oh. He’s enjoying this. 

You pull again. He still doesn’t let go. Only tilts his head as he observes your reaction. Like he was confused with your behavior. 

Oh, you think, he’s not used to this, is he? Lying to appear strong or get the upper hand has always been normal for the Agriche family, but lying to a husband? None of his stepmother's dared to lie to Lant unless they were stupid or had a death wish. 

Your toes curl, the urge to kick him stronger than what it should be. Assuming he wouldn’t punish you for it, your knees would - stinging in worse pain as you made an unnecessary move. You don’t want to kick him out of anger - you just want some space between you. 

“What about your knees?” 

God, must I pay for my sins like this? Did you make this childhood so innocent and sweet so you could make the impact of this worse?

“Nothing. Just an accident, really.” Words leave your mouth so quickly that it takes him a moment to process what you said. You’re not looking at him anymore, face grave and breathing becoming pants. He sees the way your eyes become saucers and fingers twitch. 

How hard you bite your lip to keep quiet. As the taste of iron spreads on your tongue he sees the red liquid dribble down your chin.

He considers it for a moment - he had no intentions to scare you. While he knew that the you from that night wouldn’t show, this you isn’t what he wanted to see. Face becoming neutral, he decides to let you go, already missing your warmth but doesn’t blame you when you immediately walk past him and return to bed.  

You wipe your chin off.  But like with your husband, the action only serves to smudge red across (s/c) skin. The sight makes him smile slightly; you were matching. 

His faults and flaws are too severe for you to adjust. Yours are innocent and child’s play compared to his - but that difference only serves to make a connection difficult. 

“G-good night,” quickly stumbling out the phrase as you hide under the covers, unwilling and unable to look at him for another second. 

- - -

You’re back to being thirteen in your previous life.

“Ow!” 

“Careful, silly!” 

Falling off your bike, you skin your knee, jeans ripping at the area of impact. There isn’t much blood but it hurts enough for your eyes to water. It hurts to bend it to see it, so you choose to sit down flat on your butt instead, laying your injured leg straight. 

Oh. Is that a rock sticking out…?

“Um…,” you start, gently poking the small intruding and foreign object only to grimace as it moves against and within the wound. “There’s a rock in my knee.” 

“...What?” 

Your friend laughs, thinking you’re playing around. Only to hop off their bike when you look at them blankly from over your shoulder, a lone tear rolling down your cheek. When they reach you, they suck in a breath through their teeth, kneeling so they could get a better look at it. With your permission they slowly and gently sway the tip of it back and forth, stopping once you yelp in pain. Your brows furrow as the pain slowly starts to worsen. 

“I uh… I think this might be an ER visit…” their suggestion you rapidly shake your head. 

“I am NOT paying six grand just to wait for hours on end.” You remember your mom commenting on the price after bringing your dad back home for a broken leg. You don’t want to add another unneeded bill.

“Well, seeing as how it’s quite literally sticking out of your knee… and that it’s a decent size, you might have to, (Name).”

“I refuse. I can just pull it out.” The rock starts to dig deeper when you slightly shift your body to get more comfortable. You keep quiet.

“And if it gets infected?” 

“I’ll just die.” 

They flick your forehead. “Dying isn’t an option, especially over this.”

“How about we hire an underground doctor?” You suggest, eyes glued to your knee and how it’s starting to bleed more. Red soaks into demi blue, the sight making you queasy. Were you always this weak at the sight of blood? It’s getting harder to stay calm.

“Underground doctor? Do you, my sweet friend, even know one?” They inquire, raising a brow in mild amusement and annoyance. 

“Well… no. But-!”

“But you’re going to the ER since you don’t.” Their decision is final as they call their older sister. It would take her thirty minutes to get here. Enough time to change your friend’s mind. 

But the pain becomes smothering, teeth clamping down on your bottom lip. Your fingers curl into your palms until they clench hard enough to draw blood.

“Guh…, it’s starting to feel worse…” 

You don’t remember what happened after that, not until you get a room in the ER six hours later. 

- - -

‘Dear (Name), 

I know it’s only been two weeks since you got married and moved out. But I miss you. Father and mother have been busy lately; Father striked a business deal with someone. I heard a rumor that it’s someone from one of the five ruling families, most likely your new in-laws. 

Guess that means you’re super important or the second eldest fell in love at first sight.

Just kidding. 

I can’t see anyone falling for you. But hey, maybe that’ll mean you can get a divorce sooner or later! While it might make you less than desirable to others, or make it harder to get remarried, at least you got to experience being loaded for at least seven lifetimes! Maybe eight if we count this one. 

Anyway, as promised, I’m not skipping any of my classes. They’re so boring and I have a hard time staying awake. I wish they would give me new lessons and not these, I’ve memorized them to the point I could recall them in my sleep.

My grades are also good. The best. I mean, it wouldn’t make sense otherwise - after all, I, the great Zac, am too good to perform below average. I refuse to tarnish my good name with something as a measly test tries to break me down. 

I’m going to get smarter than that ‘husband’ of yours too. 

Speaking of which, I’m sure he’s taking decent care of you. And I’m sure that in spite of that you’re crying your eyes out every night, missing us and wishing you would wake up to another bug on your face. Come on, it wasn’t that bad. 

How does he wake you up? Or do the servants do it? Oh, or maybe you sleep in until midday? 

Don’t turn into a bum just because you’re extra rich now. 

…I do miss you. I wish I could see you, but the journey is kind of long. If I was older or didn’t have class, I would have visited you earlier. I overheard our father tell our mother that we might attend an event near the Agriche’s. Maybe. 

If we do go, I hope I get to see you there. 

Anyway, that’s enough sappy words. I’m already cringing.

We’ll meet again soon. 

Your brother, Zac’

P.S: Father cried for two hours after you left for your new place. There was a lot of snot and he could barely breathe. Oh, mother and Elena didn’t get to see it - he only broke down once the two of them went to speak with Maria Agriche. 

I only know because I walked in on him while finding a place to nap. I stayed the entire two hours in the corner since it didn’t feel right to interrupt him.

I’ll sound horrible saying this, but; his reaction after seeing me was funny. Maybe I’ll tell you all about it if you beg in your reply letter.'

“...Did Dion read this?”

“Yes, with your permission that you gave earlier, my Lady.” 

“Remind me not to do that again.”

[userautumn]

I have a genuine question about your other post, do you think people are loyal to tim as a person or like loyal to the show (for whatever reason they have) and feel like they have to defend it 24/7 and no one can criticize any aspect of it therefor being loyal to Tim? I hope this reads the right way cause I agree with you and you and Kay are really the only blogs I check in on

Both, actually. I don't know how long you've been around but members of this fandom (especially on Instagram and Twitter) are very protective of Tim Minear because, in their minds, how Tim is treated directly correlates to the chances of Buddie going canon. I have seen this sentiment repeated countless times over the years—Don't make Tim mad or Buddie won't go canon. I'd like to believe it started as a joke because, some years ago, we did used to poke fun at Tim. But somewhere along the lines, that joke transformed to a genuine sentiment I see echoed among some members of this fandom, which is concerning. It goes without saying that allowing one man the power to toy with hundreds or thousands of free-thinking adults is alarming at best, and very dangerous at worst.

People are protective of 9-1-1 as well, but only so much as it is imperative to them that the show maintain its status (in their minds) as "Inherently Good." Such a culture has been built up surrounding media consumption and what people are and are not "allowed" to engage with, and how that engagement correlates to one's own "goodness," that if you have a show that is "Inherently bad" and you continue to watch it, that also makes you "bad," and since no one wants to be "bad," it's easier to pretend the show is "Inherently Good" so that they themselves can stay "good." I think we can all agree this is absolutely insane and faulty logic. But this this idea all comes down to the vice-like grip rightwing ideology and internet activism have arrested society in. Everything is always connected, at the end of the day. But the gist is that people are defensive over 9-1-1 and Tim Minear with the same voracity for two very different reasons.

At least ninety percent of our problems as a fandom could be cured if people realized that, 1) They're not "bad" because of the fiction they engage with, no matter what that fiction is, (yes, even that) and 2) No showrunner should have the power to manipulate a fandom so deeply that the validation (or non-validation) of canon causes people to treat others inhumanely. Fandom is supposed to be a community; we must try to get back to that.

Now, am I optimistic that the 9-1-1 fandom at large will learn either of these lessons? No. But. Some people will, and that's good enough for me.

[aroaceleovaldez]

thoughts on the current state of pjo fanart and/or how the fandom interacts with art? sorry if this question is so vague HAHAHHAHAHA i mean we've talked a lot about this in the TA server, specifically how a huge chunk of fandom being a community is lost due to fanartists basically just doing their own thing and the audience largely crowding around fanartists that are more or less established already... i also feel that, same as with fic writers, reception (i dont want to use the word 'engagement,' nor am i sure on if it's the right word to use lol) has drastically decreased compared to before, even though the fandom is reasonably large

Oh i have so many thoughts about this. I actually went on a tag rant on my main blog the other day adjacent to this exact topic.

Basically my current theory is the current widespread-fandom "environment" that exists is a result of a combination of two things: 1.) Widespread social media purges of nsfw material leading to large swaths of fandoms moving to different platforms and a loss of old fandom history and means of communicating that culture to the simultaneous large new wave of younger folks coming into fandom for the first time, and 2.) fandom becoming more mainstream and the way "fandom" as a concept was marketed and presented versus fandom practically.

Cause the way fandom was marketed in the mainstream sense was "This is a subculture surrounding a media. It's all about the media. Fanworks exist but they're just a natural part of fandom - they just kind of spawn or spontaneously appear." There's no acknowledgement of the community that is the actual foundation of fandom (and how some fandoms don't even have a source material!), and implies that fanworks are something guaranteed that you can take for granted and only exist for consumption like the source material itself. It's commodification of fandom.

There's also the secondary aspect of that mainstream marketing of fandom which is the sanitization of fandom, particularly painting large swaths of the community as "those icky weird parts of fandom" and something to be ridiculed, rather than an actual foundational aspect - which is where we see a lot of the purity culture in fandom arise (between that attitude being fostered and the dwindling resources to be able to educate new fans across fandoms). And this once again leads me to my usual spiel of encouraging folks to watch The Fandom documentary by Ash Coyote on youtube - particularly from the 1:03:27 timestamp - because learning pan-fandom history is very important especially right now when we're in a fandom climate where we're seeing a lot of these exact topics and talking points coming up again in different spaces. I seriously cannot stress enough how much I need this documentary to be like base-level fandom education, it's so so useful and important to know general pan-fandom history and major experiences of other fandoms.

Aside from all that though, I totally agree that we've seen a lot more of fandoms - particularly Riordanverse fandom - rarely straying away from BNFs who already have an established presence. I again think that's part of how the lack of community in modern fandom spaces makes it difficult for new fanartists and writers and such to get a lot of traction or footholds, because nobody is actually going out and having discussions or sharing work. The BNFs a lot of the time have old fandom presence and that established audience is how their work continues to travel. But also in modern fandom enviornments they're often treated as secondary source material - which is really terrible for them! Because it's such a rude and entitled attitude to have towards fancreators! And it is absolutely worse for fanfic writers I think particularly because of how when the media presents fandom as a whole in the mainstream, fanfiction very often gets the short end of the stick and is mocked, so new fandom folks don't appreciate it as much or even understand how to properly engage with it.

Especially also given how, because new fans are lacking a lot of fandom cultural knowledge that used to be passed on, a lot of them don't know how to navigate fandom sites like Ao3 and the language and structures used (like tagging systems - most new fandom folks are more used to tagging structures like on instagram or tiktok which is to say, completely nonfunctional) and are struggling with that since the resources to learn about it are difficult to find if you aren't already familiar with fandom - which is exactly why i'm working on my riordanverse fandom infrastructure project.

[rhondafromhr]

Hey y’all,

This isn’t an easy decision, but I’ve decided to deactivate my blog. I don’t want anyone to worry about me, so I want to let y’all know I’m alright and mentally I’m doing better every day. I’ve just realized that I’m at a point in my life where I’ll be happier and more mentally well if I have no social media whatsoever, including tumblr. More details below the cut if you’re curious (mainly just me being sappy about how much fun it’s been and how amazing my mutuals are).

I’ve had a blast here and found so much fun, joy, community and creativity at a time in my life where I desperately needed it. Seriously, I can’t overstate how much it meant to me. It was so much fun playing pretend with you all, hearing all your thoughts and ideas, reading your incredibly thoughtful takes and analyses, bouncing ideas off of each other. You all helped me reignite my passion for writing and rediscover a lifelong fun, fulfilling hobby—I never would have started doing it again if it weren’t for the nerds corruption AU and my life would look completely different now. All the love for my fics and unhinged AU ideas meant the world to me, too.

And of course this sappy goodbye post wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention how amazing, kind, creative and talented my mutuals are. Aurora, thank you so much for all the moodboard requests you did for me, they were all amazing and brightened my day so much, for having so much appreciation for Grace and really influencing how I saw her character and just for being a lovely person in general <3 Ali, I haven’t seen you on here in a minute but if you happen to see this thank you so much for that drawing!! You are such a talented artist with a really cool, unique style and I still haven’t forgotten it. Ellie, you’re an incredible writer and I’m sure you’ll be seeing me in your comments section on ao3. I’ve had so much fun whenever we’ve interacted and bounced ideas off of each other and you’re just generally a really cool person with immaculate vibes. Thank you for being the mutual that Gets It. Elliot, you’re a super talented writer as well, and thank you so much for all the sweet comments you’ve left and the general good, positive vibes you bring to the fandom. Cosma thank you for giving Brenda the appreciation she deserves and for also being so much fun to interact with. I love how you always engaged with my weird AU ideas and built on them, and how you came up with so many amazing and creative ideas both for fanworks and your original content. And Sanguine thank you for all your support on the corruption AU from the beginning, it meant so much to me and was really motivating.

Even if I didn’t mention you here, if we were mutuals and we interacted at any point, you meant something to me and I thought very highly of you (I’m big on cultivating my experience here and I was absurdly picky about who I followed. I was honestly kind of ridiculous about it lol)

All that being said, I think it’s time for me to move on. For all the wonderful things this website has to offer, there are downsides and I often find myself wasting hours mindlessly scrolling, and sometimes getting genuinely stressed about and fixating on really dumb, petty stuff that literally doesn’t matter in the slightest. I’ve also struggled with OCD for a majority of my adult life and while I’ve been in recovery for going on two years, its kind of been resurfacing lately and I think some of the prevalent attitudes and rampant reblog bait found on this website have contributed, even if they aren’t the main reason. I’ve tried to cultivate my dash, but some things inevitably slip through.

Overall, I just need to be more present and in the moment with the people I know in real life and devote more time and energy to my IRL goals if I want to move forward. I think in order to do that, I need to cut myself off entirely, because I do use fandom on tumblr as a vice and a distraction, often to a degree that I think has become unhealthy.

I’ll still be active on ao3 (username rhondafromhr) and probably continue updating my current WIPs and writing more for Hatchetfield as well as other fandoms, so if you enjoy my writing it’ll be there! I also made a discord, so if we’re mutuals on here feel free to say hi on there sometime if you want 😄 we can be Totally Normal about the characters and exchange unhinged AU ideas for old time’s sake. I can’t promise I’ll be the greatest at replying bc of the whole “trying to be more present in real life” thing, but I’ll do my best and I’d be stoked to hear how you’re doing! Here’s my link

Okay, I’m done rambling. I’ll probably leave my blog up for another day or two, I want all my mutuals to see this so they don’t think I blocked them or just up and disappeared or anything, but after that Rhonda’s retiring (I mean retirement isn’t really a thing anymore, but she’s an internet persona so we can pretend). Once again, thank you all for everything <3 <3 <3 if we don’t talk again take care, I’ll miss you and I genuinely hope for nothing but the best for you!!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

little-jar-of-dragons said: Absolutely understand if you’re not into it anymore but I want you to know this blog is fantastic for us still enamored with Johnlock. It’s one of my comfort ships and I’m so glad you’ve dedicated a blog to it 💙

girlofthemirror said: I had a break from fandom, but I have been back and your blog keeps reminding me of old favourites and helping me find new things. I really appreciate all that you do 💕

damnbluewires said: hey stephy bephy baby!!! you probably know my username by now. i LOVE your blog, and i love randomly stumbling across a random list of yours and going 'yeah okay ill read that' and i have your masterlist in my bookmarks, so i have something to guide me when im really lost and not in a mood to look for a fic on my own you are incredible, and your work is irreplaceable!! that being said, i really dont think anyone would mind if you wont post with the consistency you push yourself to have your work stands the test of time!! you dont have to press out new content every day, we are not that kind of a website we love you. i would still love your blog and come back to it even if you stopped posting alltogether. i want you to have fun too.

but i do admit i love that you are still alive as a blog, cos i dont have any friends who are into johnlock so when i think of something id like to share i just go 'oh i bet steph would love to hear about this' and you do!!! you feel like a community in one person i am getting sappy now, but i hope i made even a lick of sense!! and i hope you have a nice rest of the day when you see this! <3

=====

I'm genuinely sobbing, you guys are far too kind and amazing. Thank you all for your kind words and understanding, and it helps with my self-esteem. I love y'all and I appreciate y'all so much. Thank you <3

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, just wanted to say I adore your blog! It's so helpful and well ordered, really just *chefs kiss* my favourite

NONNY!!!!!!! OMG this is so sweet!!!

Like, I'm not trying to be facetious or contrary, but I genuinely have been thinking lately that maybe I should just... not do this anymore...? I don't get many asks anymore which is what I use for content, and I don't get many notes on my lists so I just assumed no one enjoys them anymore. I know it shouldn't matter, and it usually doesn't. I think just the combo of being sick, losing large chunks of my life with my uncle’s passing and feeling lost for the past months have been too much for me.

Messages like this remind me that you guys are all still here, quietly enjoying the content. I try my best to do new stuff daily, but it's been hard when I haven't been "feeling it". I love all the notes, asks, and replies, truly. Asks like this make my day. Thank you 💜🖤

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

[biblically-accurate-dca]

painting test with a limited color palette

here's the moon equivalent!

[luckyartdrawer]

Hello good sir, I am sure you have well intentions! :)

I wanted to do some lighting practice for fun and now I have this sly devil. I'm pretty proud of how he turned out and how fast I was able to make this! :3

Welp. Now I kinda wanna turn him into a character. we'll see if I ever do, hehe :P

[fuumiku]

Day 3 : fashion Jackalope & dungeon rabbit

"Who are you to Chilchuck Tims?" Smiling softly: "I’m his best friend, his confidante… His silly rabbit." "His… silly rabbit?" "Yes." "Does he call you that?" "No."

I spent way too long rendering this. Coloring Chilchuck’s hair is like painting an autumn landscape and I appreciate that

I love love love brown hares and jackalopes being a Chilchuck thing. Why jackalope specifically it’s more complex bc it’s also tied to my indulgent cultural hc for him but if you want to you can dig through this post, for when I talk about why rabbits are so good for him & them. Though now I also associate Rabbit Hole by Deco*27 with them… In my mind they alternate as Miku in that popular animation mv for it, equality for all… Also Zombies but that’s for another day. Also Fashion by Lady Gaga. Also-

They are both flat asses to me. In my heart of hearts

[pnfc]

i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece

[p1ctur3]

Can't believe it has been a full year since I starting posting AvA/M fanart

so I redrew my first piece of fanart :]

[gomzdrawfr]

Bam bing bong, summary of my doodles in 2024