#for years i didnt notice the pattern on it

[meansevika]

okay so very long thinkpiece about meljay and jayce' treatment of mel / the writers treatment of mel and how i think that all things considered she hasnt really won as much as we think she did

the thing about this that makes me so mad or rather sad (both, actually) is that we learn in season 1 how mel was brought up, that she didn't get to be soft and kind, that her surroundings were hard and rough just like her mother was, that love isn't a thing she knows like that especially not in relation to vulnerability. now if you think about media in general there is a pattern we know. the black woman is always the strong woman, the independent woman, the woman who doesnt get to be vulnerable bc of the first two points. so here comes this man she's trying to use not just for her own endeavors but for the good of piltover, clearly having a different mindset than her mother, and he cracks her open just like that. he's vulnerable with her and he lets her be vulnerable with him and it allows this woman this kind of vulnerability that she was never allowed to feel. she feels and she loves and there is someone who holds her and looks out for her when things go bad. he is his first thought after the bombing and hes so loving and endearing unlike her mother who is concerned, of course, but straight back to business too. and oh what a lovely thing that was to watch as a black woman who to this day still doesn't get to see this as often as we really should

so mel gets to experience something she hasnt before and you can tell it means something to her because when she gets back in act 3 the first reaction to him is an excited, hopeful one.

this is the man she cares deeply for and it is also the man who shes comforted before many times. something she needs in those very confusing times too. something she might be looking out for. something she might hope to get herself. some comforting after what shes been through for months. someone to share what is going on with her and how confusing it is to find out all those lies and secrets about herself.

until she notices how changed he is, how different he looks, so instantly she is worried. of course! who wouldnt be! she very likely didnt even know he was missing since its the first time we see her back in the city so she must've assumed he has been here and well for the whole time being (does she even know how long its been?) but it isnt fine as we know. she puts herself second! immediately! (and rewatching that scene now it actually makes me mad how she does that. and how anyone can question any of her feelings for him when shes immediately all jayce. or how in general people think shes only interested in her own goals) she asks this man who has shown her to be vulnerable around him and it BEING FINE, what happened, shes opening herself up to him, again, over and over, and he not only tells her it doesnt matter (what happened to him) but TURNS HIS BACK ON HER. he is literally shutting her off. he is saying with his body she does not get to do that. and for someone who has grown up like this, with a mother cutting off any kind of displays of weakness, this must be a familiar feeling, something that goes off like a bell

but she still tries! she still tries! she sees something is wrong but she tries to get comfort anyway, because this is jayce, right, this is the man she cares for deeply, the man who has opened this door for her and the door she's let herself through, the man who has always had compassion for her. of course she tries again. why wouldn't she? so she starts that something has happened to her but he doesn't even let her tell him what happened (actually it makes me so mad seeing this again and how crazy hostile he is towards her, its like im looking at the mel hating part of arcanetwt and him repeating beat for beat what theyve been saying for years) he doesnt give her room to speak, just takes it for himself, prioritizing himself and his own feelings. and, yes, figuring out the bombing thing and wanting to talk about it is valid and i think in general this could've been a great angsty way to deal with this topic IF they would've had the opportunity to talk this out properly but what happens instead is that the man that makes mel feel safe starts INTERROGATING her like she is a criminal that should be held for trial FOR SAVING HIM something she doesnt even undestand herself. and suddenly she is in a whole different position and i think by now she knows that this kind of compassion and understanding and room for vulnerability isn't part of their conversation anymore

she loses her composure and that of course isnt a first because she has started to be less put together around him, allowing her more room to "sway" but this kind of destruction is a different one because she feels at trial, feels cornered, feels like she has to explain herself but - and thats what is important - isnt heard. and i think that is something she knows very well, something shes grown up with, trying to explain herself and not being heard.

all of that happens while he is, mind you, still holding onto that hammer. something she surely notices too. the man who's usually quick to let down his defences around her, who isnt councilor talis or mister talis but just jayce around her, is holding onto that hammer like shes a threat. so he tells her he thinks shes lying and she asks him why he would think she'd do that, obviously, because her understanding of their relationship and their trust is a different one than his or at least this jayce that has come back from the arcane, because clearly this kind of understanding comes from somewhere and it comes from the times they've spent together alone throughout season 1 and a little in the beginning of season 2.

he throws at her that shes been using him, something that surprises her, because clearly she doesnt know what has happened, but she tries to explain anyway, because she doesnt know what has happened at least not in full (as you can tell by her reaction to viktor appearing, sensing the hostile mood between both, but also the way she reacts when viktor mentions the noxians intentions), and you can see that these thoughts of his are a result of months in the arcane alone with them and imagining conversations over conversations (although for me its still hard to understand how he grew that hostile towards her this quickly as if she were responsible for everything that happened but those are thoughts for a different post). he crashes out during that conversation, his face is warped with hatred and that is. all. for. her. to. see. and then BOOM goes the hammer off. mid conversation. a conversation that should feel safe with a man she should feel safe with but none of that is there. there is no space for her. (and yes i know hes aiming at viktors puppet but that isnt somethng mel is aware in that moment)

it all leads up to a fight and eventually they walk together and he apologizes, although very distantly and without much explanation, and despite it all, despite having good reasons to shut off and not share what she's feeling, she does. she talks to him about what is on her mind and they have a short, bittersweet exchange but it's just nowhere to what they've established in the first season. as a shipper of course that is super frustrating, but as a mel fan it's just sad to see that the person she felt safe enough to seek comfort in is just so closed off. but not only that, it's obvious they're parting ways and it's very obvious this is coming from his side and i think that is also why she so wilingly accepts it. she doesn't fight much back throughout their whole fight earlier either, she tries to explain herself, but doesnt demand that room for herself even though in this relationship she should be able to take just as much room for herself and her feelings as he does, but she doesn't. she just lets it happen and i understand it bc you have this man you trust and probably love and his first reaction to you is hostile when hostile has never been a response to her. he made a complete u-turn and of course that's off putting, maybe even scary, of course it shuts her down, makes someone who's so good with words and fighting just try to cause as little damage as possible because that is how she's grown up, isn't it?

and that is why i am sad about this. she learned that love doesnt have to look like her mothers and that being vulnerable isnt a weakness and its his doing but here she is met by this kind of hostility she only knows from noxus and it hurts even more that it COMES FROM HIM and over something as SAVING HIS LIFE when its clearly was an act out of love and not investment bc if i'd would've been just that than she would've saved viktor as well? but it wasnt about that. it was her subconscious making a decision and it was something her mother would describe as an act of weakness (theres a reason she gets renni to attack him bc she sees how fond mel of him is maybe even because shes been fond of a man herself once and she knows what itll do) and i think the worst part about it is that she doesnt ever get to truly articulate this or anything else and now that jayce is gone (dead? in a stone? who knows?) she won't get to ever probably. she won't get to say what she thinks and explain herself truly and she won't have anyone to confide in, to be comforted by or comfort. elora is dead, kino wasn't real and the real one is actually dead too, jayce is well whatever he is, and her mother died in her arms. yes, mel is a mage and that is fucking awesome and i was so happy to see her go off and get so many spotlights in battle, but shes also so fucking tragic actually. because here she is with a fuck ton of weight on her shoulders, the noxian army looking up to her, the whole name, not knowing who her father is or what any of her powers mean, the whole black rose thing, everything unresolved between her and jayce, the death of the people she loves, and shes all alone with it. shes all alone with it and she gets no one. man im just fucking sad that this woman got a glimpse of what it could be like to be loved and have someone to "come home to" just for her to have literally no one left like why do you hate black women so much why cant they get a fucking good ending and why cant they be fucking loved even when things get hard

also im lowkey mad that jayce got to find comfort in her lap so many times and not once did she get that in return, not even a squeeze of her shoulder, but dont let me get started on that....

[inthiskingdomwewillendure]

Eowyn's blue golden mourning dress in 4k

[sonknuxadow]

^ guy who has to draw funny hedgehogs or else they will die

[jessiesjaded]

I will say being someone who is almost incapable of doing things in increments is so genuinely draining, like my brain just obsesses and when it's stuck on something I need to do that /Right Now/ or I'm just plainly not going to do it

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Bruce Wayne, mentor to many- father to none.

I want the angst of B having to come to terms that he doesn't know ANY of his kids not anymore at least and maybe never and the fact his kids are just- used to it?

Visiting Dicks apartment, he finds a picture of him smiling while surrounded by a bunch of little kids in spandax uniforms. Turns out he'd been a gymnastics instructor for about four years now and his most recent team had everyone qualify for state. (Bruce didn't even know he still practiced)

Jason stopped accepting Wednesday night patrols, but when he looked into it he found out that was the night he went to DND nights with his roommates every week. The roommates he met last semester after he decided to go to college and get an english major. (Bruce didn't even know he had applied)

Checking the library he found a small pedastal plague put up by Alfred displaying just one book. It said Cass was the author. Apparently she had gotten super into writing and published a book talking about language deprivation and lack of accomidation for deaf/hoh children born to hearing families. She had a book signing last month, Alfred had gone and grabbed this copy now on display (Bruce didn't even know she liked to write)

Tim finished a case early and let it slip he needed to sign off early to "meet up with his boyfriends" and hung up before Bruce could process. It only took a small glance at his middle child's latest social media post to see him alongside Superboy (what was his name?) and a blonde boy he didn't recognize. Both were leaned in to kiss his cheek and the caption said "Happy 3rd anniversary!!" (Bruce didn't even know he was interested in boys)

Steph's birthday came around and Bruce got her a new account and shoved a couple thousand for her to buy whatever she wanted. But he quickly noticed a pattern of everyone getting her- cat supplies? Apparently She had adopted a cat about a month ago to celebrate her new apartment, Mister Mystery was his name, and she had asked everyone for supplies instead of other gifts. (Bruce didn't even know she had moved)

He decided on some impromptu father-son bonding and tries to track down his youngest. But Damian is nowhere to be found. He gets pretty close to calling an emergency meeting but the moment he messages Oracle she reminds him Damian is in Chicago. Damian had won an art competition at school and his piece qualified for a gallery spot. The entire family had gone days ago and he was due back the next day. (Bruce didn't even know he cared about art)

Then Duke- his youngest in terms of time spent. But one he had grown fond of just as fast as the others. Especially working the day shift the time they spent was limited. Bruce got them both lunch, but it wasn't until halfway through eating that Duke had turned to him with panicked eyes and asked if the stew had shellfish. Duke had a severe allergy, thankfully Jason had been just up the street and had an epi-pen ready before they took him to Leslies. (Bruce didnt even know he had any allergies, let alone one so severe)

The worst part? There was no blow up. His kids didn't take his idiocracy as a personal insult or even raise a fight. They just rolled their eyes and moved on. As everyone crowded in the room, surrounding Dukes bedside he could hear Barbras voice. "Its not your fault, Batman may be omnipotent, but Bruce doesn't know anything really"

He wasnt meant to overhear or maybe he was, Oracle had always been petty But he couldn't refute it.

"But you have us"

Well- thats just it wasnt it? Even when Bruce was absent- his kids had each other. But was that ever meant to be enough?

[delta-06]

𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱

Future poly 141 (if I wanna continue this or y'all want to know more abt this)

Small note: I took some inspo from the work "mages and monsters" by @thegnomelord . (hope its ok) and here are some warnings: major injury, depiction of blood and....uh...heartbreak cuz of love (?)

The human kind always escribed phoenixes as mythological birds capables of incredible doings, capable of being almost immortals and representing good omens. Their golden orangesque wings and their red markings made them re symbol of the sun, therefore, life.

It is said that a phoenix once fought in the trojan war, along side Achilles and Patroclus giving them protection alongside their allies. The man was taller than any human could ever be, some text described him as 2.40 meters tall (7 foot 10) with short black hair and skin tattered with flames patterns on his hands, feet, back and shoulders. His golden eyes and deep lucent black irises were always focused on the enemy, never leaving them out of sight and using his personal spear and bow to gain casualties to laugh about. But the most outstanding feature were his wings, big and slender, filled with bright golden orange and red sharp feathers used as weapons.

It was you who did all of that, it was you who had a personality that had you killed many times and then be reborn until the modern days.

You had been alive for more than 2000 years in a constant cycle of life and death, the more you lived, the more you knew how to brawl, study and everything making you a respected being. But only one thing you didnt learn, and that was how to love. You tried over and over again, falling and then watching them die or cheat or abandon you.

There was this one girl, a princess of a powerfull kindom whom you really loved. It was clear she did the same as after some years she offered her body for you to worship and have a child, or so you thought. One evening, as she spoke of tussling in the sheets, she mentioned that she really needed to know if your love was true by chopping off your wings and offering them. The ones that made you fly into the scorching sun, between the lush green mountains of their pearly white peaks. You listened to her, with half lidded eyes and a gone mind too captured by her demeanors and features didn't notice the sharp pain scattering itself from your back. Your breath itched and then was gone, and so were your wings. Thick golden rivers of blood flew your open lacerations, carving paths of your lover back and forming deep lakes on the marble floor.

You couldnt yell from the pain, only managing to fall on the ground and squirming like a worm as your mind was becoming more foggy by the minute. You managed to shoot them open for a split second and you caught a glimps of the guard’s bloodied swords, they were beautifully adorned by your golden essence. You spat out a ‘’traitor’’ and an ‘’I will end you’’ before closing your eyes and feeling death wrapping itself inside your now broken heart.

You loved and that was how you were repaied. You woke up in your den on the peaks of the mountain you were once born. The cave was simple and you always hated that, wanting more was the reason you left it for years before coming back there everytime you closed your eyes, now you wanted nothing more than to sleep in it forever.

Tears rolled off your eyes and you screamed at top of your lungs, animalistic rage speaking and screaming. Your wings were no more, your essence was no more, what was a phoenix without its wings? Nothing. Fake love tore your wings apart and that feeling nestled itself in your soul. Never again you would’ve loved someone again.

From fists, to spears, to daggers, to swords to guns you made your way into the world. Now you were in the military, you decided that this was going to be your forever life. Generals wanted you for your skills, sharpened for thousands of years and your reflexes, your knowledge and your loyalty as you had noone to be loyal to.

From humans to monsters was no easy passage. Seeing their bodies slowly mutate into feral ones wasn’t a shook to you, you saw and felt worse. Your mind didn’t care about your ‘’friends’’ of the battlefield, not until you saw a one winged dragon discussing with a wraith.

You were boarding on a plane towards Urzikstan, voices told that there was a new wanna-be-lord to be taken care of and you were chosen along many other people. As you had your head low and fixated into nothingness you heard some commossion, looking at that direction you made eyecontact with that green dragon. You sneakered and laughed, mocking its inability to fly and the way he was compulsively smoking before boarding the cargo plane.

He eyed your form before crumbling his cigar into smoking bits and yelling you to fuck off. As you sat on the metal seat, squished between other captains you felt some weak embers leaving your hands and falling off your fingers as they become just a non-existing spark.

That was bad, you did that only when you felt yourself falling for someone, that was not happening. Not anymore.

Little did you know that from love you lost your wings, and from love you shall recieve your wings back. In a way. Or another.

[tannieastrology]

Capricorn Venus-Learning To Love, Love🤎🧸

☕️ How I imagine a love for Capricorn Venuses one day- Something REAL. Something that warms your heart. Someone to just come home to.

Kinda a personal story<3

☕️🧸First off people who have Capricorn Venus or Venus aspecting Saturn how did yall meet yalls partner and how would you describe your experience in dating? Let me know your experiences down in the comments!

☕️🧸Some common themes- unrequited love, being unable to catch feelings, work/school focused, unsatisfying relationships, liking people for years, low self worth, having to go through many obstacles, strong souls, gracefully age.

☕️🧸My Venus is in Capricorn in the 3rd house conjunct Jupiter, Pluto, and POF and trines my Virgo Saturn in the 11th. All of my friends are older and I actually met my friendgroup because of my older sister and find it difficult to make friends regularly. I also mostly hangout with older people but when it comes down to dating I am very inexperienced even though I know im only 16.

☕️🧸Like ive never talked to anyone and when I like someone ive had a pattern of liking them for like 2-3 years( my venus being in the 8th degree of scorpio). I also dont get approached alot and while I do have guys approaching me here and there theyre never my type.

☕️🧸Like I LOVE classy men but guys my age just arent like that it kinda bums me out. Watching people easily get into relationships ever since I was a kid and being able to attract anything they want in love matters made me really think I was ugly for the longest time.

☕️🧸For one I literally was a ugly duckling from elementary to middle school and I didnt really go to a school where indian features were appreciated(a majority of my school is hispanic and black). I always kept quiet about my crushes because I always thought no way they could like me?

☕️🧸It wasnt really until this year(my sophmore year) where I realized I have grown sooo much as a person. Beauty wise and personality wise. The way my Venus has impacted me the most was friends because of the relationship of my 3rd and 11th house. I lost friends, was lied to, and backstabbed and eventually made me realize that I wasnt the problem. The people around me are just vain. This made me go into depression for a while but also made me reflect on my relationships.

☕️🧸Eventually I thought why do I deserve any less? And yall dont understand this was such a turning point for me because it made me cut off so many unnecessary people in my life along with raising my standards within my relationships which is EXACTLY what Capricorn Venus should learn to do if they feel theyre relationships arent satisfying. Not just friends but in romantic interests too. Like I actually have boundries for myself but I will say that I lost alot of my innocence when it comes to love. The biggest thing for me personally is that I grew into myself but it took a longer time for that to happen for me compared to my peers but man sometimes people be hyping me up and I just dont know how to deal with it because I grew up ugly LMFAO.

☕️🧸Saturn here will force you to be patient and learn alot of valuable lessons for not only romantic love, but also friendships and familial relationships. Because one thing ive noticed is that these people are very sweet, soft hearted, and always wanted to fall in love, but as they got older they had unsatisfactory in those experiences and come to take the stereotype of being “cold” when in reality you just come to realize that people are disappointing. With time ive noticed we age well and we meet more serious people as we get older but you just have to deal with immaturity for a little while until that happens. All in all Capricorn Venuses will get what they deserve and I PROMISE you will be fine asf when u get old so hang in there.😘

If I were to give you a love based on a movie itd be this one<3

I really hope yall enjoyed this I wanted to give my insight on it so here I came���

[kangals]

oh i forgot to write up an update on the embark situation!

if you missed my posts last month (or didnt read them because they were certified walls of text): i got kep an embark test and in addition to the expected stuff, it also flagged him as having some genes related to copper storage disease - specifically that he had 1 gene for copper accumulation, and 2 genes that make accumulation less severe, meaning he inherited copper-related genes from both parents. when i did some reading into it,i couldnt find ANY studies or resources regarding copper disease in collies - it was almost entirely focused on labradors and dobermans, with an occasional hand-wavy comment of "sometimes seen in other breeds idk." because this test only got added by embark last month, i ended up doing a new test on stellina to check and see if she also had it.

basically my thinking was: A: does the presence of these genes mean that kep is actually at risk for copper storage disease, OR B: was this an incidental finding and the genes really only affect labs and dobes.

with stellina's test results, i think i'm pretty confident in guessing that the answer is B!

stellina's results also flagged as having one gene for copper accumulation - which, since i know that kep and stellina are pretty distantly related, indicates to me that it's much more likely that the genes are widespread in the greater collie gene pool as opposed to both of them just so happening to pick up a rare and harmful gene.

and most notably, now that's been a month and embark presumably has more data, they also had this new information listed:

those are HIGH numbers - and is an even bigger indicator that the gene, for whatever reason, simply doesn't affect these breeds that much. great pyrs, for example, are primarily working, livestock guardian dogs - there's no way that 80% of these dogs are suffering from copper storage disease. and while frenchies and cavs are certainly poster children for "breed with lots of serious health problems", copper storage isn't one of them. given the extreme popularity of frenchies, if 90% of them had this disease, someone would have noticed.

(interestingly, last week when i looked at this instead of pyrs it had pembroke corgis listed in that spot at around the same numbers - i wonder how many other breeds have large percentages of this gene but embark is just only listing the top few. this is such a new test that i expect a lot of information to change)

so i'm guessing that copper storage genes are actually pretty common in dogs - especially breeds with known low genetic diversity, such as collies, cavs, and dobermans. but given that there's nothing noted in studies about breeds besides labradors, dobermans, and a few terrier breeds, it just might not affect the rest of them. similarly, i know stellina carries the gene for "saddle tan" coloration, as do a certain %age of collies - but collies don't come in saddle tan. it's suspected there's another gene needed to "'activate" the pattern that's missing from collies. i'd guess the same thing is happening here - lots of dogs have the gene, but the "activation" genetics are only in a few specific breeds.

i'm definitely still going to be keeping a close eye on it, the test only released in May so it's still very early and i imagine they're getting a ton of data from this - would love some research into if my thinking is correct. if you have a dog that's gotten an embark health test from may and onwards this year, i'd be interested to know what breed(s) your dog is and if they also carry these genes. but i think, overall, this indicates that it's more incidental than a real concern.

[dainangel]

bad decisions

pairing: s.jaeyun x f!reader

also: l.heeseung

warning: mentions of drinking, cheating, suggestive

—> even after a messy breakup, you still found yourself still attracted to jake, and he felt the same. its not a healthy relationship, but how could you both avoid it when it its just too good? 

🎧: greedy, everytime, break up with your girlfriend, motive (ariana grande

author note: holy moly its been a hot minute since ive posted on here!!! anyways, i was listening to ariana so much recently so that is the cause of this writing ✍️

party. get drunk. make up. get down. kiss. say goodbye. repeat. 

that was the continuous pattern you had with none other than jake sim. fate had somehow twisted its ways to urging you to always run into the boy again, again, and again. it was unavoidable, no matter how much you tried. 

3 years ago back in your senior year of high school, jake confessed his huge crush on you right at your front door at night. of course, you felt the same which led to eating each other’s faces off under the dim porch light for your neighbors to see (cough). he loved you, and you loved him. there were bumps and dents through the span of your 2 year relationship, but you couldnt have asked for a better boyfriend. until he took you out to the worst party of your life.

in the moment, the party was amazing and the energy was through the roof. jake’s frat friend was hosting it as his place since his parents were out on vacation, and boy was it a huge home. we’re talking mulitple refrigerators, a movie theatre, gaming room, high balconies, and a jacuzzi on the second floor. after having too much to drink, and talking it up with strangers who were now acquaintances, you realized jake was missing by your side. normally during parties, jake would always follow you around to make sure no one unecessary bothered you, held your cup when you had to use the restroom, and would make the dance floor intimate. concerned, you walked around and through the atmosphere of sweaty bodies and alcohol, looking for any sign of jake. with your red cup slipping out of your hand, you made eye contact with jake in a hallway. making out with a girl. a girl that wasnt you. her back was facing you, but you had to see the abomination of jake going crazy with a random girl near the bathroom. you could feel big globs of salty tears blurring your vision, and your breath hitching immediately. at this point both jake and the girl noticed you, still not letting go of each other’s grasp. when quickly turning around and running off back into the crowd, all you could hear was the yelling of jake, desperate for you to come back. 

that tragic and unforgettable event was 7 months ago. you were eventually immune to jake’s random calls and texts, asking for forgiveness and checking in on you. they didnt feel the same as before, and did not make you feel any better. you ended up blocking him on everything, including deleting his contact information on messages. you were way past this toxic incident, now talking to a guy named heeseung. at your college, you couldnt deny that he was one of the popular guys on the basketball team. although he was basically a himbo and a jock, he was still anything better than jake. 

yet, that didnt stop you from running back to jake himself. he was like a drug you couldnt stop taking, and no matter what you always wanted to come back for more. soon your excuses to go to parties with heeseung werent to get down with him, but  jake. your ex of 2 years now clouded your brain, and even though you never unblocked him on social media- you hoped to see him at multiple parties. and of course, he was always there. 

party after party since the incident, it was the same deal. bring heeseung and let him wander off towards a different group, get drunk with jake, find the nearest bathroom to make out in, get down, and end it all with a sloppy kiss without a verbal goodbye. you never expected to reach this level of insanity, especially with your long-time ex you swore to never go back to. you didnt care how horrible  jake was and how disloyal you were— as long as he was yours for the night. 

you saw him as a toy to be selfish with, using him to your likings. make him feel weak in the knees, and leave him empty handed afterwards. this weird situationship soon blossomed and churned into a possible second chance with the man. 

however, you did not expect to wake up in his bed on a saturday morning so soon. it was just like how it was 3 years ago. turning around to face the other way, jake was wide awake, looking into your eyes with a loving look. you stared back in interest, suddenly feeling a craving to be bad, once more. this obviously wasnt a healthy relationship or whatever this turned into, but you couldnt help it. neither could he. “wanna wanna go for round 2?” jake spoke under his breath. responding with a sly smile, your lips were already locked with his; meanwhile your hand was reaching towards the bedstand to silence the multiple calls from heeseung.

 this was far more important. 

[catsburgers]

chat this MIGHT be dialtown! (closeups under the cut!! ft. their songs and why i paired them w/ the ones i did)

randy - today today (jack stauber)

the lyrics fit him heaps and it actually makes me a little sad. i didn't write out the entire verse bc i ran out of space but the full part is

"Today, today, is one of those days That carries you slowly into next time And as folks walk by, you see with your eye "Hold me" is repeatedly given

and by GOD is that him. pathetic sad sopping wet man who just needs a hug please give him one oh my god

norm - chemical overreaction (will wood) (you'll notice a pattern later on)

that song has a very midwest cowboy feel to me (the line "Nettles on my saddle and a badge on my vest" is a very big give away), and yeah he IS a chemical overreaction like.. yeah. the line i picked was just the one that stood out to me the most

"My mouth is dry and my eyes are red I’m chewing on sand ‘cause the desert’s in my head" uhh yeah

typegingi - popipo (lamaze-p)

i honestly couldn't think of a song for them because they are just So. if you asked me to make a playlist it would be full of vocaloid bc i feel like theyd listen to it. it plays 24/7 in their mind

"ぽっぴぽっぴぽっぽっぴっぽ (x11)"

oliver - things to do (alex g)

oliver was someone i struggled with admittedly, i was gonna go for a lemon demon song bc honestly he gives those freak vibes (he IS two trucks and i stand by that) but i feel like things to do fits too. like read the lyrics its so him (or i have a very skewed view of these characters idk sorry)

"Hold on tight to this time, this place cause Everything you know will be erased You were born inside your head and That is where you'll be when you are dead"

karen - willard! (will wood)

please listen to willard! its so her pretty please pls pls plssss. tired bank worker thats so so tired but wants to see the world. plss...

"You know I couldn't hurt a fly, my friend I'm not the type to step on ants I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps More for the plights of mice than men See, I myself have been stepped on so many times It's started to feel like my place I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky Is there room for me in your cage?"

bigfoot

i did his route over a year ago and didnt do it again during my replay sorry bigfoot fans love you :(

EXPLODES I LOVE EXPLAINING THESE

god/hobo - mr capgras

ITS HIM. LIKE IDKK ITS SAUR HIM.

"What you feel and what you do Are those things really you? And if not, then what is? (Never never never) So, my God, what’s wrong with you? And I’m still asking who that is"

roger - i bet on losing dogs (mitski)

hes so mitski coded its insane. we havent got much from the dialtown teaser but we DO have his dsaf personality to go off, and he was a complete mess in that.

"I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side"

peter - a pearl (mitski)

all dsaf holdovers are mitski coded bc it was born into their body the moment they became a phone guy. once again not much to go off in dialtown and ik he seemed rlly chill in what interaction we had but god he is my fav and you can pry my mitski from my cold dead hands. also yeah i reused his art from my dsaf drawing sorrry i didnt think it was worth it redoing the exact same ref

"It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night"

mayor mingus - everything i wanted (billie eilish) / laplace's angel (will wood)

ok i couldnt pick between these two, theyre so different but so similar

everything i wanted is rlly her, like even the title is so mingus. she's dialtowns mayor, she has everything she wants, except her grandfathers recognition and she'll never get it.

"They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter Coulda been a nightmare But it felt like they were right there And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know"

laplace angel is also her to a lesser degree, the song is about the difference between good and bad, and UGH we know mingus is evil but she's also hurting and thats not an excuse and [explodes]. the little (hurt people? hurt people!) that's officially in the song title is also her. like the term "hurt people hurt people" arehghks. the repeated "if you were in my shoes, you'd walk that mile/you'd see i wear the same size as you" like. shit if ppl were in her shoes WOULD they do the same thing?? probably not!! but she feels like she HAS to do these things and assumes that everyone else would do it too. yk. i love mayor mingus so much

"You, could you take a look at me? (Man no more than animal is made of moral chemicals) Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad? (Any form mechanical, thank you God) Ooh, whatever you think of me (From the hordes of cannibals, to psych wards of hospitals) If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you (It’s a small world after all) Oh oh right!"

billy - ???

demons dont get songs.

finally

jerry - half decade hangover (will wood)

hes sooo. even the title is him. like yeah he WOULD be hungover on the job if i was jerry id be pounding vodka by the litre. 12 german shepards each with different illnesses. yeah pass me the margarita (i have never had an alcoholic beverage in my life).

"Wonder how I didn’t die This is not my life, I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive Wonder how I sleep at night Well I count pink elephants, blessings, and skeletons"

if you read to the end, thank u so much (and please go seek therapy). if you have any other song suggests lmk in the replies!! but dont tell me songs wont fit i MIGHT cry. these designs r mostly canon but i added my own flair to them (namely typegingis entire design, god/hobo having dog ear antenna (inspired by my own dt oc having cat ear antenna), peters springlock scars, mingus being way more cat then orignally and also making rogers suit just a LITTLE too big for him, showing how he really isnt fit for this position in his job. he'll grow into it eventually <3)

[mlmxreader]

Thick Hoodie | König x trans!reader

Anonymous asked: hi I absolutely ADORE your writing!!! I have a request of könig x trans!reader with the prompts "i didnt wanna wake you up, im sorry" and "thats my hoodie, not yours." where könig comes home from deployment and sees the reader asleep on the couch in his hoodie and he takes them up to bed but they end up waking up and then they both end up talking a bit. and then könig teases the reader for wearing his hoodie.

thank you 🙏

summary: König comes home at last.

tws: swearing

The sound of music was the first thing that König noticed when he approached the door, the skies above him a dark grey and spotted with black as the rain continued to stay on tap, dampening the hood of his thick fleece jacket as he foraged for his keys inside of his pocket; he could recognise the song with ease, knew it well enough to immediately know what the lyrics were, 'The Red Baron' by Sabaton. He smiled, pulling his hood down once he got the keys and opened the door.

He kicked his boots off, took his jacket off in order to hang it up, and placed his bag down gently before he paused at the living room doorway; a fond smile came to his face as he leaned against the frame, hunched over a little bit as he folded his arms across his chest and looked at you with a certain glint in his eyes as he hummed softly and dared to steal a quick look at the television.

The album art for Sabaton's 'The Great War' took up the screen, and he soon enough returned his gaze to you.

On the sofa, you were sound asleep, wrapped up in the silver coloured blanket that often was kept on the bed underneath the thick black silk duvet; he could see that you were cuddled into the green camoflauge patterned teddy bear with your country's rugby union uniform on, the one he had gotten you so many years ago so that you wouldn't miss him so much when he was deployed.

He sprayed it with his cologne daily when he was home, wanting to make sure that it smelled like him when he needed to leave; the soft light of the television glittered across your features, and König couldn't help but to think about how you looked so good, so peaceful, in that very moment. Without a doubt, you were stunning.

König didn't want to wake you, he really didn't, but he knew that you would have a sore neck in the morning if he left you there, so he padded across the room as quietly as he could, and squatted in front of the sofa as he gently laid his hand on your arm, and softly shook you.

"Mein Bärchen, it's time to wake up," he said tenderly. "C'mon, we're going to bed."

You stirred a little, grumbling as you dared to slowly sit yourself upright, rubbing your eyes as you yawned and stretched. "'m sorry, I tried to wait up for you..."

"Ist kein problem," König replied sweetly, "aber, es ist sehr spät, und du bist schläfrig."

You smiled as you nodded, daring to yawn again. "I am really fucking tired."

"Come on," he coaxed. "We'll go to bed, ja?"

You snuggled down again, shaking your head as you dared to fall back asleep, and although he didn't want to pester you, König couldn't stop himself; he gently tugged you into his embrace, your legs over one arm and your back resting against the other as he hoisted you up and started to carry you through to the bedroom.

It was then that he noticed. You were wearing his thick hoodie, the dark green camoflauge patterned one that he often wore during the winter, and although he wanted to tease you about it, he couldn't bring himself to wake you up; you were so sound that you didn't even stir when he placed you in the bed, nudging you over to your side; he removed his shirt, and stripped his trousers off, before he dared to get in beside you.

König had always liked sleeping on the side of the bed that wasn't against the wall, as he liked to think that if anyone wanted to cause trouble - such as a burglar - then he would be the first to be up and to defend you both, as although he knew you were perfectly capable of looking after yourself thanks to your SAS career, it helped him put his mind at ease to think that he would be the one in any immediate danger if he was the first one up.

He was just pulling the blanket up to his shoulders when you finally stirred, putting the teddy bear behind you so that you could snuggle into his side; your head on his chest as your hand came to rest on his stomach while he dared to slip his arm around you, holding you tightly against him as his hand gently moved up and down your upper arm, even daring to run over your shoulder a little.

"I didn't wanna wake you up, I'm sorry," he murmured, frowning slightly.

But you shook your head, daring to press a kiss to his neck, the exact same spot where you often left a hickey. "It's alright, maus... it's more comfy with you, anyway."

"Natürlich," König laughed. "I like it better mit dir hier, anyway... aber, that's my hoodie, not yours."

You smiled, he could feel it against his neck as you snuggled into him that little bit more. "You should've known that if you didn't want it borrowed, you shouldn't have left it."

"Dieb," he teased as a grin came to his face, daring to laugh again. "My favourite thief, though."

"You, uhm..." you hummed as you thought about the best way to word it. "Did you tell the lads at KorTac about me?"

König nodded. "Oh, ja! You know ich liebe dich, (y/n)... why wouldn't I?"

"The fact that I'm trans," you admitted quietly. "Y'know, I thought you'd be... I dunno..."

"Ich liebe dich," he insisted. "I love you for you. Not in spite of... well, maybe in spite of the fact that you steal my hoodies."

You chuckled softly at the teasing remark. "That's all?"

"Ja," he nodded. "I didn't tell them you're a thief, though."

"König," you shook your head fondly. "I'm not a thief!"

"You steal my hoodies," he pointed out. "Mein Bärchen, I love you for everything about you - but not your stealing."

"I hate you, Maus," you joked. "Maybe we ought to see about having a ketubah."

"You mean that?" He asked softly.

"Yeah..." you nodded. "I mean, don't you think it'd be a good idea? We did say a while ago that it'd be nice to stand under a chuppah together, didn't we?"

"Ja, ja, we did," König agreed, a bright smile coming to his lips. "If you feel it's the right time, Bärchen, I will be happy to do it."

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM.

[rigelmejo]

11/2/2024 update - chinese:

1. Listening to something "harder" in chinese (poyun audiobook) seems to be helping. I listened to an audio drama today instead, just whatever my recommendation gave me (a crime solving BL which is the genre I'm comfortable in), and since it's an audio drama I definitely know at LEAST 95% of the words. I hear a few unknown words per minute, and when I look them up they're usually what I vaguely guessed when listening (so words I've read but struggle to recognize in listening). Since audio dramas are nearly all dialogue, I understand almost everything (i miss a few details per 5 minutes since theres still a few words I dont know and don't look up). I am not even paying attention, just letting it play as I scroll reddit ToT. I still understand almost all. So I think my quick-understanding speed is improving for more words. Poyun still feels equally hard lol, I catch dialogues mostly and then it's hit or miss if I understand descriptor paragraph's main idea when listening to the audiobook. But just listening to Poyun, while multitasking and just listening-in when I can focus, seems to be helping. So that's awesome! Maybe my test in a month will be if SaYe is clearer to me by then.

2. If you're a beginner learning Chinese, I again recommend dongchinese.com's Pinyin guide and tone pair drills. I'm begging you to spend a couple hours going through it. If you watch cdramas, even if you're watching with english subs, the ability to HEAR a word and type the pinyin into google translate app or Pleco app quickly for the translation is SO USEFUL. Early on, its useful for picking up new words and remembering them. But even now, as I'm listening to audiodramas, the skill of looking stuff up by pinyin as a beginner helps SO much now. I can hear unknown words in audio and instantly hear what pinyin I should type (zhi or zi or si or j or zhe or zha are very clearly different to my ear) and I'm used to expecting most words to be 1,2, or for phrases 4 hanzi long (so 1-4 initial-final pinyin pairs), with most words being 2 hanzi long, so if I hear an unknown word I can quickly identify WHICH 2 sounds are the new ones I just heard and look up the unknown word. These basic recognition skills get developed early on as a beginner, as you look up words and get used to the common patterns, and as you start reading and notice beyond the common 1 hanzi words, just how many are 2 hanzi.

3. If you're learning chinese and don't have the benefit of cognates with a language you know, chinese is still a bit "easier" to guess new words at a certain point. For reading, it's the multi-component hanzi which allow you to start guessimg rough pronunciation and meaning, and the 2 hanzi words which allow you to start guessing meaning is the 2 hanzi combined or perhaps related to the meanomg of the 1 of 2 hanzi you already know. With listening... there is also a benefit. Say you hear xiangfa - xiang think, fa method, you can guess it has something to do with thoughts or ideas or trails of thoughts. Xiang is a common verb so you probably already know it, or can guess it's THAT xiang based on context of a scene, and fa is also a fairly common word so you can guess it might be That Fa. It means idea. So guessing "thought" would be close enough to undersrand meaning. (And of course seeing it written 想法 thought+method xiangfa easy to see hanzi meaning and then guess idea or something close).

4. I'm hoping the comprehensible input/ALG suggestions of a LOT of comprehensible input actually help me with speaking tones. Even though I did tons of explicit study, which ALG thinks "damages pronunciation"... but I didn't actually speak much yet. At a certain point (around a year imto learning?) I stopped studying tones of new hanzi and words and just used audio in pleco or google translate (or TTS, shows, audiobooks etc) to hear how new stuff sounded if I didnt remember. Since I read a lot, so I just felt I needed to add more sound to not learn the wrong pronunciation... so idk how that will go.

[battleangel]

Israel's Genocidal Playbook

Israel just followed this EXACT same genocidal playbook in Palestine over the past year.

Israel is about to follow the same EXACT genocidal playbook once again this time in Lebanon.

Israel Genocidal Playbook 101

•Shut down international airport in Gaza.

•Cut Palestine off from the world — food, fuel, medical supplies, all international travel.

•Forced famine & starvation campaign due to food no longer entering the country + displacing internal farmers + disrupting countrys internal food supply.

•Airline threatened by US with economic sanctions if they fly wounded, injured & dying civilians internationally for medical treatment resulting in needless & completely unnecessary deaths.

•Millions potentially starving to death as a militaristic genocidal campaign — the literal definition of a war crime.

•Warnings to residential areas, neighborhoods, airports & public buildings of Israel Defense Force bombings literally only a few minutes before they occur not allowing any chance for an actual evacuation.

•Bombings of residential areas, schools, hospitals, airports, mosques, public buildings & "safe zones".

•Purposefully targeting civilians in a “collective punishment” scorched earth campaign for Hamas resistance (Palestine) & support of Gaza & Hezbollah resistance (Lebanon).

What can we do to stop it?

When Biden has supported, promoted, funded & provided weapons for the genocide in Palestine for over a year that has murdered 200k+ Palestinian civilians?

What can we do when Trump was elected & he very recently told Netanyahu to “finish the job” in Palestine?

What can we do when both Republicans & Democrats support Israels genocide in Palestine?

So, how do we stop the United States from funding, providing weapons for, threatening economic sanctions over, protecting, defending, justifying, rationalizing & endlessly promoting yet another genocide this time in Lebanon?

Yemen could be next — genocide is already happening.

Syria could be next.

Iran could be next.

Do you ever question why the US is always involved in “conflicts & tensions” in the Middle East?

Do you ever question what George H.W. Bush was referencing when he gave his “New World Order” speech in 1991 on the eve of the Gulf War (first Iraq war) when he declared that global alliances & enmity had shifted and that the Cold War enemies of the past — communist Russia & China — were no longer the United States’ ideological existential foes but now it was the Middle East at the time Iraq?

Do you ever wonder why Russia backed Afghanistan in the 1980s?

Why did the PLO form?

Why did Hezbollah form?

Why did Hamas form?

Why did October 7th happen?

What was the Nakba in 1948?

Why did then Senator Biden tell Congress in 1986 that if “Israel didnt exist, we would have had to create her.”

Who is “we”?

Do you ever wonder why historical references to Palestine date back thousands of years but Israel does not?

Why did Malcolm X & Muhammad Ali consider Palestinians “their” brothers & sisters?

Why is Chevron funding the building of oil wells on the Gaza Strip?

Why every 20 years or so has there been a major conflict or war in the United States dating back to WW II?

Notice a pattern?

•WW I: 1920s

•WW II: 1940s

•Korean War: 1950s

•Vietnam War: 1970s

•Gulf War (Persian Gulf I - official name): 1990s

•Iraq War (Persian Gulf III - official name): 2000s

•WW III (US & Israel & UK vs Iran/Syria/Iraq/Palestine/Lebanon/Yemen & US, Ukraine & UK vs Russia, China & North Korea): 2020s…

They are purposely crashing the economy right now.

Why?

To drive up military enlistment which is already happening.

US troops are already in Israel.

North Korea has already sent troops to Russia.

If the Middle East didnt have oil, do you think the United States would be interested in them geopolitically?

Why are there simultaneous genocides occurring in Palestine, Lebanon &:

•Congo: Cobalt - used for batteries for iPhones, electronic vehicles, tablets, laptops, computers, TVs & smart watches.

•Local warlords fight each other & kill civilians in the crossfire over controlling cobalt mines given how valuable they are to Google, Apple, Samsung & Tesla.

•Sudan: United States & UAE (Dubai) control, fund & supply weapons to RSF (Rapid Support Forces) who are fighting against the SAF (Sudanese Armed Forces).

•Sudans biggest export is gold & the US & Dubai want to exploit the tensions between the RSF & SAF to keep Sudan destabilized so they can control the gold. •Both the RSF & SAF are committing genocide against their own Sudanese civilians & war atrocities & crimes against humanity including mass rapes, torture, mass graves, targeting civilians. •Over 100 Sudanese women recently committed suicide to avoid brutalistic gang rape by both the RSF & SAF.

•Eritrea

•Tigray (Ethiopia)

•Yemen

•Uyghurs

•Mali (mass rapes at border of country due to internal conflict & killings)

•Etc etc etc…

All of the above involve the same settler expansionist, resource exploiting, colonizing mindset & strategy of forced famines & starvation, forced relocations, collective punishment, targeting civilians, murdering women & children, targeting residential areas, schools, hospitals, refugee camps & “safe zones”, scorched earth tactics, breaking the will of the people, psychological torture, dehumanization, numbing & desensitizing the rest of the world, threats of economic sanctions against any company or country who resists.

Why do you think the ICC (International Criminal Court) & the ICJ (International Court of Justice) havent arrested anyone?

Why do you think the UN has not brought charges against anyone for human rights violations?

Why is western media covering up these genocides?

Why is the global community silent in their complicity?

What can we do?

Other than signing online petitions, calling our Congress members & Senator, attending marches, rallies, protests, die-ins, civil disobedience, strikes, days of rage, days of action, vigils for martyrs, volunteering for local Socialist (DSA), Party for Socialism & Liberation (PSL), Working Peoples Party, Communist, Green Party & Peoples Party community organizing events?

You can raise your voice.

You can be a voice for the voiceless.

You can refuse to look away, get tired, numb, defeated, fatigued & exhausted.

You can continue the long term fight against injustice and for liberation.

Revolution.

Redemption.

Genocides have been happening as long as humanity has existed.

Rwanda. Serbia. Philippines. Armenia.

Haiti. Native Americans.

African slavery in the United States.

Struggle! Resist! Fight!

It's a long term fight beyond any of our individual lifespans of 100 to 500+ years.

For liberation.

Choose not to distract yourself.

Bring what is being hidden in the dark to the light.

Be a light. Be a voice.

Share. Post. Reshare. Repost. Comment.

Interact. Engage. Donate if you can.

Tweet. Post videos. Stream.

Talk to your family & friends in real life.

Dont let the genocide become normalized.

Dont get used to videos & images of dead children.

Connect the dots.

Realize the ideology that is driving all of this death & destruction.

Realize that its always been the same ideology.

Realize all of this misery, pain, suffering, torture, death & destruction is for money & resources.

What every single war & genocide has ever been for.

Realize there are no “good wars”.

Realize the United States employed these same exact scorched earth tactics in WWII when they literally burned & cooked alive over 100k Japanese civilians in the Tokyo fire raids.

Yet the US was never tried for their horrific war crimes & atrocities in WW II.

Yes, its plural. No, they never apologized.

The victors never punish themselves.

Dont become numb. Dont ignore.

Dont look away. Dont distract yourself.

Raise your voice!

[boredw69]

Only In His Office- Ch.4 Negan X Readert

Y/n is 19 year old Senior in high school who is particularly quiet but that's only because she always takes the time to write in her notebook filled with.. thoughts about someone imparticular, but its not who you expect it to be…

◇There is a age gap in this book so if you are not ok with that or if it makes you uncomfortable then you do not have to read, it's your choice.◇

Warnings: Age gap, Sexual themes, Cursing, (Bad writing :O, didnt proof read. Oop

Word Count: 1358

The next few days went on as normal, and it was Friday before I knew it. It was already mid day and I was in the gym sitting on the bleachers for the free period.

Try outs were after school today; and for once I had an ounce of positivity about it. Maybe getting out and playing a sport actively with help with my odd addiction to writing. 

The squeak of a shoe echoed across the gym floor. I looked up to see Negan approaching me.. Of course; I was naive to think he would be too busy planning tryouts to notice me in the corner of the bleachers. I folded up my notes and shifted to sit up a bit.

"Well; So obsessed you had to come visit me on your free period?" He smiled.

I choked out a small laugh. 

"Excited for tryouts?" He asked sitting down next to me.

"I suppose.."

He tilted his head trying to get a better look at my face. "She speaks." he let out a chuckle

"Psh.. Yea.." I mumbled.

I looked out over the gym, things had already been laid out for try outs. Small areas taped off on the floor, cones placed in different patterns, and oddly enough the hoops were lowered. Negan followed my eyes to the basketball hoops and cleared his throat.

"Makin' it easy for ya" smirking he looked back to me.

"Your joking right?" I stood from my seat and walked around the gym to the closest hoop. I looked up and laughed. This was too easy; So easy that someone who had never played could dunk it.

Negan stood now walking over to me and stretching his arm up to touch the rim. "Maybe your right" sarcasm was laced through his words. "Think we should give it a test run?" he looked down on me. 

I bit down on my lip thinking for a minute. I was at a small disadvantage.. But practice is practice. "sure".

Negan held back a smile as he nodded. Heading over to the ball rack he palmed a ball passing it between his two hands before chest passing it to me roughly.

I caught it with a huff. "ouch." I spat.

I began to dribble the ball practicing passing the ball on and off both hands.

Negan didn't seem to waste any time fucking around coming around to smack the ball out of my hands before I ran with it across the court. I slowed down at the hoop going in for a lay up.

The ball circled the rim before falling off into the net. I rebounded the ball and dribbled once before realizing he was already on top of me. Nowhere to go I simply held and defended the ball. I turned against him.

"shit." I whispered. 

"Yea." He leaned down against me whispering against my neck.

Still not pressed fully against him i panicked. What if someone saw us this close? This is dangerous; But being this close is nice. His chest was so close to my back, and I could feel one of his legs pressed onto me. 

Lost in my train of thought he grabbed the ball and held it over his head and shot it from across the court; it circled the rim and fell off the side. 

"Worth a shot." He said cockily.

I stood up normally, turning to face him, still weirdly close. He looked down smiling. 

My face got hot, and my body too. I was doing it again. 

"I should get back to studying" 

He huffed; "Studying? You mean writing away in that little notebook of yours?" He questioned.

My breath caught in my throat. "What- No. I have school work to do." I fumbled on my words.

He burst out laughing, "Yea, yea of course."

My expression flattened, unmoving, bored with the joke. I turned back and started to head towards my things.

"What'do ya say we go talk about try outs in my office?" He didn't follow me he just stood with a lean in the middle of the court.

I slowed in my pace trying to make out what he had just said. 

He began after the ball that was slowly wandering the court floor. Picking it up and dribbling it slowly back to the rack. As I picked up my things I turned back to face him. 

"Hell' Bring that book of yours.. Maybe we could brainstorm a new page for ya." He teased.

My heart skipped a beat and I began to feel.. Aroused? again.. I nodded unsure of where this was going.. But where ever it ends up I'm sure it will be worth taking chances.

I nodded simply, and with a smirk from him we walked back to his office.

He sat down in his chair and patted the desk; "Lay 'er out and we can get to brainstorming" He continued on.

I sat down in a chair just in front of his desk now digging in my backpack for the notebook. 

Not entirely sure why I was just simply doing what he asked I placed the book in front of me and he flipped it to a random page.

"Why don't you read it allowed.?" He leaned back in his chair.

My eyes trailed down looking at the book; Then slightly up now seeing the tint in his gray pants. 

No way this was happening. 

"I- Erm. I can't." I cleared my throat.

Negan shifted in his seat looking me over head to toe; "How come?"

"Its.. embarrassing."

He scoffed, "Hell yea it is." Leaning forward in his chair he looked at me eye level; "But from what I read." He paused, "You're into that."

My heart was racing. What do I even say..

My skin pricked uncomfortably from how hot I was getting. I crossed my legs trying to settle the excited feeling. I looked up as he pushed the book closer.

"His hand gripped around my throat stifling my breathing as his hips..-" I gulped, "Rutted into my ass.." stopping I looked up to him. He was watching me with hungry eyes.

He nodded signaling me to continue.

"The water from the shower ran over us both our skin beginning to redden from the water pressure."

Negan stopped me. "So detailed." He stood up making me settle into my seat as I followed his movements. "Where do you come up with these settings?" he asked.

"I'm not sure.. I just use my imagination I guess."

He slid in front of me, my sightlines just above his belt. He leaned down close to my face. I swallowed my saliva nervously as stared me down.

"What are you thinking right now? Hm.?" He whispered.

"I want to kiss you.." I say bluntly.

He stifled a smirk. "Yea.?" voice arrogant in tone.

Leaning closer I closed my eyes.

Our lips brushed against one another his beard poking at my chin and upper lip. I closed the gap moving closer to kiss him. 

 He kissed back leaning down further to grab behind my neck and guided me to stand up. My hands fell to his hips resting on his leather belt.

I could feel as his fingers laced into my hair, he gripped down hard pulling lightly at the roots. As we kissed my legs rubbed against each other yearning for any sort of friction. Slowly getting closer to him simply just wanting to feel more. My chest pressed against his ribs and He broke the kiss with a deep breath. I could feel him looking down to me as he groaned.

My heart fluttered; I suppose I never thought of him as a verbal man.

He grabbed at my shoulders slowly pulling me away from him; "Shit.."

I looked up trying to gauge his expression.

"We should probably slow down" He licked his lips huffing before going back behind his desk.

I grabbed my book awkwardly shoving it back into my backpack and heading towards the door.

I cleared my throat, "I'll see you at try outs".

------

Tryouts went normal and everyone was sent home with a small pamphlet readying us for first practice dates and uniforms.

Sitting in the passenger seat of my dads truck I finished the paperwork, confirming my shoe, pants and shirt size. I signed the bottom and folded it up.

"How did it go?" My dad asked nonchalantly 

"I think it went good." I held back a giddy smile.

[transmutationisms]

insure being used for ensure is always a mistake ime. didnt even know enquire existed though. there doesnt seem to be an actual definitional difference like insure and ensure have?

im way too baked for this right now but i have to come back to it because i think it's wrong yeah so i've always understood inquire/inquiry to be more formal or official than enquire/enquiry. i've noticed people use them differently to me, so it's possible that was never a real rule and was just a pattern i thought i noticed as a kid, but that is what i think the difference is. insure/ensure is more bizarre to me because i always though insure was much more restrictive and only had to do with the act of purchasing insurance, whereas ensuring something is making sure of it in any other or more general manner. this is what every style guide i've ever read on this has said. but i think the stylebooks are losing this one because i see people using these words interchangeably all the time, including like, the search committee for a postdoc i was applying to yesterday lol. my prediction is in 50 years these words will be close to interchangeable in common parlance.

also i checked and neither of these pairs is in my edition of strunk & white, which i thought was funny. maybe there was no ambiguity about them in 1979 idk

[steeloptic]

i have an art request. draw any of your favorite characters from any of your favorite medias and explain why you like them. :)

hehehe. explanations under the cut for anyone seeing this who only cares abt the art

@ubersaw asked me to tag her hi jpeg

cole brew (rhythm doctor) - he's literally me irl if i was a musician instead of an artist

wx-78 (dont starve) - human who didnt like being human and wanted to put their consciousness into a robot body... they just like me for real. bonus point for being enby

pyro (tf2) - just full of such whimsy and mystery!

paintbrush (inanimate insanity) - the reason i figured out i was non-binary. im pretty sure they didnt become a favourite until after that, but they were the first enby character i ever heard about so i latched onto them very quickly :)

petra (minecraft story mode) - my first girl crush except i never realised until a few years ago because i didnt know i was queer when mcsm first came out. she is saur cool

v2 (ultrakill) - the dream's end come true fancomic really made me think about just how tragic her story is. bested by the first version of itself, who was presumed to be worse than it as its predecessor, only to be the end of her life... i try not to think about it for too long. bonus points because robot who is genderless (are you starting to notice the pattern yet)

frye (splatoon 3) - once again just full of whimsy :) i love her dynamics with all the other idols, especially with her own group