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idjitlili · 4 years ago

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Thor,Son of Odin

Thorin x Modern!reader

Summary:Imagine being apart of the company ;and calling Thorin,Thor the god of Thunder.

a/n i hate wattpad it deleted 6 hours of work on this ,bloody bullshit and i fell over in that time todays going amazing, I passed my gsces though.

Word count:3277

Okay ,okay ,let's do this one last time. You Y/n L/n ,some how ended up in Tolkiens universe,the hobbit.Bro you was beyond freaked out to wake up snuggling up with some dude,practially laying on top of him,his arms around you holding you. His hair dark ,long ,silky almost,his face wore but structured,his body muscular,yet some what stumpy. Your face so close to his ,as ou come to reality ,you do not know who in bloody hell this man was.

You had brought your hand up his his cheek ,poking it once ,nothing,again,slight groan but nothing really,again his time mulitple harsh pokes ,finally his ocean coloured eyes shot open. They looked into your e/c ones you screamed then he screamed. Pushing yourself of his out of his grip.

"who are you?" he had shouted ,in shock really.

"no! Who in bloody earth are you? and why were we snuggling? Kidnapper! HELP" you had stood up ,your face turning in every direction to see where in gods earth you were,just all you could see was forest and a bunch of men,who surrounded you and the strange blue eyed man,looking at you strangely. You looked around again and you saw a man that was dressed as a wizard , he looked like cogsworth,damn he really does.

"oh I get it. I will rather die than take part in your orgies!" you had shouted again ,laughing in horror after ,you were very much terrified in this moment.

"I'm sorry ,what orgies? what gives you that idea?" the smallest one hadspoken up pushing passed the others ,you had pulled your attention to him ,noticing his cute dirty blond hair,travelling down to his huge hair feet,letting out a gasp. "w-why are you feet so large?" you had whispered in shock. "I am hobbit ,of the shir-" " a what?" damn if this couldn't get any weird.

"Enough! WHo are you?why wre you trying to seduce our king?" A balding muscular tattooed man had interrupted ,your questioning."Your king? I havent heard of a king,not at least in europe for over a hundred years! Also last thing I remember was laying in my bed ,not in the arms of a 'king'" you groaned out this sitution had began to give you to give you a headache.

"this is Thorin ,son Thrain ,son of Thror,the rightful dwarven king of erebor."

"Now enough of the bullshit ,Thor SOn of Odin ,God of thunder, I want to go home! THere are no such thing as dwarven king ,nor dwarves,nor whatever a hobbit is ,and there's certainly no such place as erebor on this earth! This isn't bloody princess diaries."

The group of men had just stared at you in conflusion,as you had fainted ,therefore Gandalf had concluded that you will be apart of the company. As he had realised some how ,some way you had ended up in an another universe,well all he knew as some sorta force had brought you their world for a reason. He had forced Thorin to accept that you were to be apart of the company ,even if he felt absolute hatred towards you.

When you had came to the first thing you saw was Thorin,so you had made a run at him punching him square in the nose,only to get this sidekick,that tattoo'ed punk to grab a hold of you. "Oi what the fuckk ,get off me!" yeah they basically tied you to a try ,and then from that Gandalf had explained everything ,and in a couple of hours you had agreed to join ,you still did not trust them however.

You had put upon an pony ,sat behind Bilbo ,the hobbit. "hey just so you know I am still not joining in on your orgies, I do not want to lose my innocence to anyone apart from a nice MHM-" you had pretended to cup an ass in your hands."set of cake shape ass,god dAMN."Bilbo had turned to look at you with a face of pure disgust ,,whereas others of the company such as the kings nephews had laughed. "and what is this orgy you speak of lassie?" the oldest dwarvf had spoken up you had found out his name was Balin older brother of Thorin's side piece.

"oh- its basically when a group of people do the stuff eachother all together" now bursts of laughter had filled your ears. "I assure you miss y/n l/n,the is none of that." Gandalf had spoken sternly ,he did not want to witness that no thank you.

"Oh good then, oh mister hobbit you have such beautiful locks." you had brought you had to touch a single curcle upon his head,whilst the hobbit had blushed brightly at your compliment. "oh well thank you ,as do you have lovely h/c locks." you had smiled widely ruffling his hair,Thorin heard this and did not like it,jerk.

Anways skip to a week later Thorin is brooding with his coak off,those pants really defined his ass,you were sat on a log next to Bilbo,you had nudged him gently grabbing his attention. His eyes filled with red from the warmth of the fires flames as he looked up at you,Thorin's nephews had seen your staring at your uncle and were watching and listening intensely.

"Thor has a nice nutt ,mhmm ,just like Jensen Ackles ass." Bilbo had choked on his own tongue ,as you just glaced back the dwarven kings ass one last time before turning back to Bilbo.

"aye, Y/n ,psttt" Kili had whispered shouted gaining you and Bilbo's attention ,he had gestured for you to go to him with his fingers,you had grabbed Bilbo by his hand before standing up,dragging him with you to sit beside the brothers. "wasssuppppp" damn this isn't the 2000s ,its bloody some age,you don't remember Gandalf got a bit boring if you were totally honest. Fili and Kili smirk to themselves, before Kili speaks up,Fili isn't as talkative as Kili is."you fancy our uncle." you had instantly scoffed , Bilbo had just pretend to be studying the stars ,and avoiding your bullshit lies.

"I see how it is,you trying to get your uncle laid, well yes he has the perfect ass, but I hardly know any of you,except Bilbo I accidentally saw him naked, he has a the cutest little bu-""Y/n!" you had cackled loudly catching some of the dwarves that were still awake attention, the nephews grinned even larger than before at you. "so you admit to looking at our uncles bottom,and you've seen Bilbo nude! Well!" he had basically shouted.

Bofur had turned around raised an eyebrow at you ,whilst Thorin pretended to be brooding still. "what?! Lass,you've seen the little fellow naked????" you had sighed loudly in distress,bloody god darn dwarves. "I say it again it was an accident!I was go for a pee, and then I daw that Bilbo had just gotten of a lake and was wearing a toel,so I decided to scare him, I didn't know he was going to scream ,and drop his towel." Bilbo held his head in in his hands in complete embarrassment.

"what did you except to happen lass? "

"I thought that scream was you."

"wow thanks for coming to save me then. plus i thought Bilbo might of just -you know what I dont know"

Thorin had felt a load off of his shoulders fall away ,knowing you didn't get it on with a dude that was half of your height, he didn't like the fact you were on this quest ,but he couldn't help thinking you had some nice hair. He also felt like grinning ,but of course a scowl was always imprinting on his face,he hadn't had a woman check him out in what it seemed as forever.

That was months of ago now, in which currently you had all been captured by elves ,well the prince of the Greenwood realm,Legolas.The company had been separated from you and Thorin and Bilbo was no where to be seen ,but you knew he was sneaky ass..butt. This elven king Thranduil , had did some voodoo to his face ,spat in Thorin's face with his stinky ass breathe...who needs to talk to someone that close up,might aswell had kissed him. After he was done with the dwarven king he started eyeing you up so you did back ,his ass mainly.

"and who are you ,andwhy does a woman travel with pigs?" his voice like silver ,yet cold as ice, but he would not stare bloody still,while you rated his ass. "Y/n L/n-god damnit stand still," the King had stopped , you had turned your body to get a look at his...flat ass,before leaning back to check out Thorin's. "what ARE you doing?" bro they didn't even tie your hands ,so you had made your way behind Thorin cupping his ass,making him gasp in shock ,as you squeezed gently,before heading back to Thranduil who shook his head no,you didn't want to be executed anyways.

"that king has a better ass than you, I suggust some squats, as your personality nor looks are in favour f-""ENOUGH. Tell me who are you?" he had interrupted you rudely , Thorin now less red ,smirking,he was glad he didn't end up in boner city. "uh mister lanky stick ,I am y/n ,like I already told you,now can I and my mister patrick swayze be brought to our cells, I don't want to have sex with a skeleton..I mean a elven king."

"TAKE THEM TO THE CELLS,stay here an rot for all I care,100 years is a mere blink for an elf." you smirked at the king,as you and Thorin were grabbed by guards ,being pulled away. "I feel bad for your son,he inherited your flat ass, the poor kid don't get any attention from his daddy." If you were still infront of Thranduil he would've slapped you. However instead you gpt see his son look to the ground ,away from his fathers gaze ,before walking out of the throne room shortly after you and Thorin.

Soon as you are shoved in separate cells,the questions start from the caged dwarves. "what happened up there?!" Kili questioned loudly,"I may have cupped a kings ass."

"You touched Thranduil's behind?"

"no I almost did,but damn You should have seen his face when I told him Thorin's was better than his and that I fet sorry for his son gainning a flat ass from his father."

Silence was in the air ,for a few seconds before the company had figured out what you had meant wwhen you said about touching a king's behind.

"you touched Uncle's butt infront of Thranduil?"

"oh hey ,Bilbo." thus Bilbo lead you all to the barrels ,in which you sat in on by yourself ,it was the ride of your life, and no kili doesn't get shot,because Dwalin held you you up while pulled down on the lever, therefore no one was injured. All that happened really was you were completely soaking ,and you stayed that way until you arrived at Bard's house,thank jesus you didn't have to go through the toliet.

Bard's daughters had handed you a blanket which you had wrapped around your shoulders ,in hope to warm up. However you could not help but see Thorin ,who refused a blanket politely. His beautiful long locks dripping ,his clothes sticking to his skin,darn he must be freezing ,dwarves and their stubborn asses. He really must be cold ,due to the scribe of this tale, experiences with wet long hair ,it takes ages to dry and keeps you freezing.

So you had decided without really thinking ,to walk towards Thorin who just stood waiting ,whilst everyone else was settling down,removing the blanket from your shoulders ,placing it upon his. Now you just stood next to him ,unsure what to do know ,blushing slightly feeling his eyes on you,gasp when he gets closer ,drapping the blanket back onto you ,but keeping it on his ,pulling you close by wrapping his arm around you ,as to keep you warm too.You had wrapped your arm around his waisr ,you could already feel him warming up against you ,you could smell him aswell ,and feel his hair against your neck.

However you did not look up to see the company's stares at their king,if anything they were worried about his behaviour,yet they wondered if it was true,was you his his one? But Thorin saw it ,yet no one dared to speak upon it , as he was their king ,yet his nephews ,oh they wanted to tease their uncle until the end of the one ring. They had smirked at their uncle,kili raising his eyebrows at Thorin ,who sent a deathly glare to his nephews.

He had broken the silence shortly after that,"where are the weapons?" and of course after that he was like they are shit ,okay lets go rob a bank ,thus the next time you were so close to Thorin was after your second boat ride in the last 36 hours.

Kili,Fili,OIn and Bofur were all left behind ,to catch up when Kili had recovered. THerefore the rest of you were all now to hike to Erebor ,god it was so tiring you felt as if your feet were on fire. You had groan in displeasure before muttering "I swear dwarves must have some hella leg muscle ,yet I don't, I cant walk." Bilbo had scoffed next to you 'your legs are 10 times as long ,you got it easy'

"I hear humans ,cannot walk after 10 minutes with a dwarf,do you want to take a short break?" Thorin had a smirk inlaced with his voice ,as DWalin laughed loudly as if he was drax laughing at peter ,he was cocky when he wasn't trying to set an example for his nephews."no I want to be carried Thor." you had spoken with annoyance ,not watching where you was going ,tripping falling harshly on the sharp rocks ,most deinitely cutting your knees open,you had let another groan. "god damn it korg." you had muttered yet again. Thorin had made it over to you ,pulling you to your feet , before turning away ,and kneeling infront of you.

"come on get on,we don't have time to delay" and with that Thorin oakenshield agve you a piggyback ride. "Thor son of Odin ,a God carrying me? No one would believe this."Thorin didn't understand who the fuck that was obviously,you had explained to him what a god was ,the same as the what they call malah ,or near the same.

Anyways he carried you all the way to Erebor ,with ease as well,he was indeed strong,and that was a long journey ,you even offered to walk but nope he would not take it. And after all the dragon stuff ,it was clear to you that he was suffering from dragon sickness ,he made everyone search for the arkenstone except you and Bilbo. You'll never guess what he requested you to do... Well he was on his throne and he was like "y/n ,come here" okay in which you did. "sit on my lap" nope and you walked away ,damn we he so forward now,you missed the shy Thorin.

It got worse and worse and soon enough Thranduil's army had arrived ,aswell as laketown ready to fight to claim what was theirs. Thorin was being a little bitch ,when practially he was a billionare,stopped sitting on bilbo , he isnt Dildo Gaggins ,not a huge stick up your butt. Frankly you had enough.

"Thor ,if you dont snap out of it , I am going to show all these elves my breasts,you wouldn't allow a young woman to do such a think would you?" okay so blackmail is the only thing you could think of ,Thorin basically ignored you. "OI YOU FLAT ASS KING!" you had gained the kings attention ,as Thranduil looked up at you ,as did Thorin as you began to lift your shirt up,revealing your belly button then high and high. UNtil two arms gripped your middle lifting you out of view. "No,I will not allow an elven king see my ones breasts,nor an one else" he had growled ,you had lifted your hands up in surrender ,well you tried.

He just told you he was your one and you was like ''okay bro,you do you. " ,well you didn't believe it ,you just thought it was the dragon sickness,you were the only female around ..

Then of course he tried to throw Bilbo over, which that didn;t happen he escaped ,little rat,he is cute boy though, he did what was right. In which it got worse everyone fighting and such ,Thorin had went back to this throne ,so you had followed him with a better plan than before. As you got close to Thorin ,who watched your every move.

"I've been waiting for so long Now I've finally found someone to stand by me We saw the writing on the wall And we felt this magical fantasy Now with passion in our eyes There's no way we could disguise it secretly So we take each others hand 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Just remember You're the one thing I can't get enough of So I'll tell you something This could be love

Because I've had the time of my life No, I never felt this way before Yes I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you."

you had spoke for Thorin to hear as you close with each step,yeah you just quoted song lyrics ,most famously know from dirty dancing ,but yeaah. THorin had stood up to meet you ,and once you had you had cupped his cheeks ,pressing a quick kiss to his lips,before cheekly pinching his butt making him gasp.

"Thorin it isn't right, we must help them ,please." as you said his actual name he knew he had to ,his bestfriend he had abandon trying to kill, maybe a little more than friend,could be dead. He had sent you a smile before grabbbing your hand throwing his crown off. "wait you need a shirt like you gave bilbo ,I have feeling you will need it..thor son of odin."

And lucky you did say that and say hold on dude this sounds fishy ,why azog look like a shark off that will smith fish movie,fish tale? Oh its trap kili ,fili come here. THus you saved the Durins lives.

"hey if you are thor that makes your younger brother Loki ,wait he's dead sorry, uh your sister dis ,Loki and Fili and Kili Hela because her dad is LOki-not saying your sister is a man -well she looks like it-oh um sorry ,very handsome though."

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libra-araelty · 5 years ago

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Hello!

My name is Neo. I am a neurodivergent young adult from the United States.

Neurodivergent, you say?

Yes! Neurodivergent means my brain does not function the same way that a typical human does. However that does not stop me from living a normal, everyday life just like everyone else!

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MaDD), and Dyscalculia, all diagnosed. It is also highly suspected that i have Bipolar Disorder and Trichotillomania (TTM), suggested to me by people who have either condition.

Being subject to these conditions, I have quite a few struggles in my daily life. I have sensory issues, so things like uncomfortable clothes and strong scents can make it so I’m unable to function at full capacity. If these sensory issues are pushed further and further, I am at risk of going into a sensory overload or a meltdown. That only happens very rarely for me, though.

My attention span is very flaky, and I have a difficult time staying on one topic for long periods of time. I need constant changing stimuli for me to not burn out while on a task. This ironically contributes to hyperfixation, an intense focus on one particular thing for a period of time. I know, that seems like the opposite of what I said before, but they are linked. See, hyperfixation isn’t exactly something that can be forced. When hyperfocusing, I may not be able to take myself out of that particular focus, and it consumes all my thoughts for however long my brain decides to hyperfixate on it. This contributes to my flaky attention span because instead of being able to force myself to focus on something im supposed to be doing, instead the brain goes “no, you’re going to think about this one thing and we’re going to make it very hard for you to focus on anything BUT this one thing. Special Interests (SI’s) follow a similar, yet more intense pattern. SI’s last much longer, if not lifelong for me. Theyre more prominent and effective on my life than my hyperfixations.

This is where MaDD comes into play. MaDD is a condition that can be adopted and unlearned. The DSM doesn’t recognize it as an official disorder, but it is a condition that exists in many people, especially people with attention or anxiety related contitions. MaDD shares a lot of traits with cases of addiction too, however this one is much easier to take control of and is not exactly harmful. The first word, maladaptive, can be broken in half: Mal and Adaptive. Mal means bad or poor, and adaptive means the ability to adapt. Maladaptive Daydreaming basically means daydreaming that causes poor adaptation skills. MaDDers are typically those who have conditions like Autism, AD(H)D, OCD, General Anxiety, and Dyslexia. Most people adopt the technique of Maladaptive Daydreaming in their childhood or early teens and if not caught early on, can last their entire lives. However, MaDD isn’t essentially a harmful thing. Like I said, it’s easily controlled. You may be asking, “what exactly is it about MaDD that causes poor adaptation? its just daydreaming.” MaDDers daydream at an average of 6 hours minimum a day. These daydreams are intense and easily triggered by everyday things like music, art, friends, even normal emotional events. MaDDers tend to use these dreams as an escape from reality but also a reality of their own, like a lucid dream but for your waking self. The daydreams tend to have intricately woven worlds, stories, chracters, and plots, all feeling just as real to the dreamer as the rest of life itself. MaDDers tend to daydream to escape real situations they may not want to be a part of and sometimes even cancel plans just to continue to daydream.

Why are you telling me all of this? This all seems so personal and insignificant to me.

This is FAR from insignificant to anyone. You may not be Autistic or a MaDDer or even neurodivergent, but I know that as a human being you still have lots of struggles, just like me. Ive told you all about my struggles and you’re probably thinking “wow how pathetic, they cant control their own brain.” Yeah actually, I can. Even if you weren’t thinking that, (which I actually highly doubt anyone was thinking that I just wanted to put an example of worst case scenario) what if I told you that no matter what, no matter who you were or what you were going through, you can still grab hold of yourself and make your life yours? You better believe it, because despite all the conditions I just told you I have, I have taught myself to make my own path in life and not let my struggles decide what my fate is. I believe anything is possible with a little patience and elbow grease, so thats why I have made this blog. It is sorta a combination of a journal, an advice blog, and an inspirational quote blog. I want to be able to share my knowledge of my identity and experiences in order to hopefully inspire someone to get up out of the hole theyre stuck in and make their life their own again! I love the conditions I have, and I use their benefits as my superpowers and dont let the negative aspects of them hold me back. They are a part of me and who I am and I will treat them with just as much love and care as I should treat myself, and hopefully you can treat yourself with the same amount of love too <3

With love,

Neo

P.S.

Heres a couple more fun facts about me!

My biggest special interests are Homestuck, Dragons, and literally just identity in general and have been special to me for almost 5 years now

I love music and my favorite artists are Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, OneRepublic, Vance Joy, hi i’m Case, Of Monsters and Men, and Watsky!

I love to draw and play D&D! I love the character creation and I’m currently working on my own campaign

My personality labels are Sun Libra, Moon Sagittarius, Rising Taurus, INTP-T, 5w4, 541, Ravenclaw, Thunderbird, Seer of Heart, Dersian, True Neutral, Blue-Green Paladin, Firebender, and Skywing Elf

If I were a D&D character I’d be a true neutral forest gnome sorcerer sage who wields a katana and raises dragons

My favorite movies are How To Train Your Dragon (1&2), It, Star Wars, and Pete’s Dragon (2016). My favorite shows are The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, The Dragon Prince, Camp Camp, Gravity Falls, Twelve Forever and The Mandalorian

I love making aesthetics and stimboards, my favorite colors are blue violet, cornflower, sapphire, teal, spring green, and bubblegum pink. I love pastel kawaii fashion because of these colors

I either want to become a cartoonist or a counselor as a career, or both and be able to use one to help the other

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fluidityandgiggles · 4 years ago

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Dalton Big Bang day 1 - The Canadian Girlfriend Experience

Writing Masterpost, AO3 Link

Notes: So... y’all. Dalton fam. Hear me out.

I understand that y'all are gonna be mad at me for staying up until (four? five?) five in the morning to post this, but I'm something like 90% sure I'd forget to post it in the morning (afternoon), and I have to write tomorrow's fic anyway, so... here's an extra early fluffy mess. Hope y'all like it.

I had to write this one... I really really had to. Han's girlfriend is a big deal to me. I hope you understand it.

(And for the uninitiated in pathfinder - the rank system is wild, feats are taken every two levels or so, Logan’s character is basically invincible, defeated only by Dwight’s monk and the absolute insanity that creating a monk in pathfinder can end up being.)

—————

"I really have to go to sleep," the familiar (by now) high-pitched voice said through the headphones, stifling a yawn. "My drama class is moving props to the auditorium tomorrow for our exam and my mom would be mad at me if I don’t go to sleep in the next thirty minutes."

"So go to sleep, Lils. I won’t be mad at you."

"Okay! I’ll text you in the morning! Love you, bye!"

"Good night."

Han finally let himself snort a bit after his girlfriend hung up, watching as she disconnects from the game a few moments later. He did say he’ll only play Starcraft today so long as Leah is available, and now that she’s offline…

He just closed the game and went back to working on his Pathfinder session prep.

Han met Leah at the San Diego Comic-Con last summer. On day one, she approached him because she thought the Westwoods’ Bat family cosplay was really cool. On day two, he approached her because her Arwen cosplay was flawless. By day three they’d already ditched the con to have a not-date lunch at In-N-Out, found out they’re in the same guild in World of Warcraft, Han found out Leah has a voice acting channel on youtube, they exchanged phone numbers, and by day four they may have not spent the whole day together but they certainly went on a date-date at the end of the day.

They’ve been rather inseparable for the following three weeks, but by then Han had to face the reality of it all. Leah’s phone number was weird to him from the start, sure, and he was willing to pass off her accent as a speech quirk, but it wasn’t until those three weeks ended that it finally sunk in that she’s not American. And like most good things, her visit too has to come to an end.

Maintaining a relationship online just… didn’t feel the same.

1 Unread Message

‘Merril: Can I suggest an idea for Mishka’s character arc?? You can say no, I just had an idea is all!’

Caterpillar: I’m all ears

———

"While this mess of a… bargain is happening," Logan called as Merril and Reed tried to catch their breaths from laughing. "Can Dwight and I get to the diplomatic debate?"

"Sure," Han sighed, watching his party quickly derail the session. "But let’s take a break first."

The first to disappear at the sound of "let’s take a break" was Lucy, who ran to the bathroom, accidentally knocking off Logan’s dice tower in the process. Merril got the brownies out and on the table, everyone pulled their phones out…

Han could take a couple moments to look at the pictures Leah sent him earlier. According to her, they were not yet done with lighting cues, and she was going crazy, but seeing her in her period piece of a costume and leg brace prop made him feel excited for her, somewhat.

Caterpillar: wish I could been there to see it

Jabba the Hutt: Oh no! Don’t say that! Jabba the Hutt: I’ll send you the filmed version when I get it, but it’ll probably be really bad anyway.

Caterpillar: im sure it cant be that bad

Jabba the Hutt: Han, it’s a high school production of the Glass Menagerie. Jabba the Hutt: My class is also doing the play version of Spring Awakening. Jabba the Hutt: It *can* and *will* be that bad. Jabba the Hutt: Trust me.

"Han?" Merril called before he could answer that one. "Hansel, are you listening?"

"No, I wasn’t. What was it?" He grabbed a brownie, leaving his phone aside for a second.

"Wizards of the Coast announced a new edition of D&D," she said again, smiling gently. "Do you think you’d want to try it?"

"I’m already one step ahead of you there. I’m going to playtest it when it— excuse me…"

Jabba the Hutt: WE FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED THIS Jabba the Hutt: I’ve never been happier to say I’m getting offstage, I need someone to punch me!

Caterpillar: dont you mean pinch?

Jabba the Hutt: I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

Han tuned back in time to hear Logan say "I just really don’t want to have to mess with the power system again", which resulted in Dwight throwing a bag of chips at his head.

"Fourth edition has a very special place in my heart, Wright. Don’t talk shit about it around me."

"Yeah, why all the hate for the power system?" Lucy frowned (when did she get back from the bathroom?). "It’s not all that different to how feats work. Would you complain about getting a new feat every odd level once we switch systems?"

"Not going to happen, Lucy."

"Aw man, but I wanted to play Vampire the Masquerade next!"

"And we already said Merril is going to run it," Han reminded her, checking his phone one last time. "But we’re not switching our current game to another system. Not gonna happen."

There was a quiet "hell yeah" from Merril as Han’s phone buzzed with a new message, but before he could even read it, it was snatched by Lucy.

"Wha… who are you talking to, Han?" She laughed a bit, scrolling up, and then her eyes went wide open. "Well… damn."

"Don’t act like you’re surprised, that’s my girlfriend. You met her before."

The silence in the room was so tense, Han swore he could hear a pin drop.

"...a girlfriend?" Dwight was the first to ask, raising a brow. "Since when?"

"You know, I honestly thought she would’ve forgotten all about you after two weeks…"

"Since a few months ago," Han told Dwight, taking his phone back. "Can we continue, please?"

"No! It’s interesting!" Merril joined in, resting her chin on her hand as she got closer, pushing some papers a bit. "How did you meet? Where is she from? Can we meet her?"

"We met at Comic-Con and no, you can’t meet her. She’s… not from here."

"...is she Canadian?" Logan raised a brow too, starting to laugh.

"Noooooooo…?"

"Oh yeah, Han’s Canadian girlfriend."

"She’s not— let’s start to fucking play, this session isn’t going to end itself."

By the end of the session, Han couldn’t say he’d be surprised if the whole school found out by tomorrow. And if anyone (namely the twins) made fun of him for his "Canadian girlfriend"... so be it.

———

"Is this Canadian girlfriend of yours coming to prom?" Julian’s tired voice came through the phone, sounding like he was about to pass out. He just arrived at school earlier today, already tired from the flight, and immediately got coddled by Logan.

"She’s not Canadian, Julian. You’re the twenty-fifth person I’ve told this already."

"So where is she from? Would you please tell just one person?"

With a quick glance at the security footage, to make sure Logan wasn’t listening, Han whispered "her name is Leah, I met her at Comic-Con in San Diego last year, she’s from Israel and no, I doubt she can come to prom. She has her own prom to attend."

"...okay, so this Israeli girlfriend of yours. Got it."

"Thank you."

"Are you sure you want to keep her a secret…?" He clicked his tongue. His laugh sounded a bit rougher than usual. "You know how things can end up. You of all people."

"I… I’m just not sure I’m ready for… dude. Is Logan drooling on your shoulder…?"

"Give him a break, Westwood. He’s adjusting to his new pills."

"I asked about the drooling."

"He does that sometimes. I just let him be."

"...why is everyone so interested in my girlfriend? Is it really any different from David and Katherine?"

"I don’t know how to break it down to you, Westwood, but you’re not exactly the type anyone would expect to even have a girlfriend."

A shift in the camera footage made Han cuss silently, covering his microphone.

"...she said she’ll be here for graduation. Hers is in late June, but she finishes school in May."

"Yeah. May. When prom is."

"Do you want to talk to her yourself?" He could hear Julian snort. "I’m not kidding. I’ll give you Leah’s phone number and you’ll convince her yourself. I can’t."

"Because that totally won’t be crazy."

"Julian."

"Hansel."

"Just fucking ask her, you absolute nerd!"

"Can you stop ordering me around? This isn’t Hollywood. This is my girlfriend we’re talking about."

"Can you at least send me a picture of her? So I’ll know she’s real?"

"...fuck you, Larson."

Han sent him a picture anyway. A picture of the two of them that Lucy insisted to take while they were in San Diego. They coordinated somehow, Han with his LOTR shirt and Leah with her whole Arwen cosplay. It was the happiest day he could possibly remember.

And then, a snort through the phone.

"...so you’re Leah Appelbaum’s mysterious Maryland boyfriend? Huh. Didn’t know you lived in Maryland."

"...you know Leah?"

"We had auditions in the same building two years ago and she approached me because she’s a fan of Something Damaged. She insisted on keeping in touch. How did you meet her?"

"At Comic-Con… please be gentle about this, Julian."

"Okay! I just… wow. I know where you live now. Sweet."

"Don’t you dare try to blackmail me with that information, Larson."

"I won’t. There’s nothing to worry about."

———

"...you know what?" Han sighed as the last session before prom was about to close off. "Roll sense motive."

The clatter of dice hitting each other and everyone cussing filled the room, quickly picking up their dice and looking.

"Fifteen!"

"Seventeen!"

"Five!"

"How’s you get a five, Lucy?"

"I’m a barbarian, what do you think—"

"Thirty-four."

Dwight practically glared at Logan. "What the fuck, dude?"

"I play a half-elf cleric, Dwight," Logan answered, straight-faced. "Plus two to wisdom straight away, rolled extremely well, I have a plus five modifier to wisdom and the alertness feat. I took a single rank in sense motive every time we leveled up and now I have ten ranks. On the tenth rank in sense motive or perception, you get a bonus four to the skill instead of the usual two. Thus, ten plus four plus five equals nineteen, plus the fifteen that I rolled. That’s thirty-four. Do I sense motive?"

"...everyone who rolled above a fifteen, and that definitely includes Flint—" Han could see Logan smiling smugly. "Everyone who rolled above a fifteen can see that this woman is telling the truth. Anyone who rolled a twenty or above, Flint, can also sense that—"

There was a knock at the door. There was never a knock at the door. But now there was. And as Reed got up to open the door, Han silently hoped it wouldn’t be anyone who shouldn’t be there—

"And this is your boyfriend’s room," Julian’s voice came through as Reed’s jaw dropped. "Thank you for picking Julian Larson to be your tour guide, we hope you enjoyed the trip."

"Very! Oh, hello!" The girl at the door waved at Reed, who waved back. The whole party waved back. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, those nerds are just playing dungeons and dragons. You have nothing to worry about." Reed finally returned to his seat as Julian kissed the girl’s cheek, chuckling at the shock. "Logan, I’ll be expecting you to pick me up at six. I want my pre-prom sushi."

"I promised you I will, Princess, don’t panic."

"Okay, just making sure."

As Julian left, the girl went to sit on Han’s futon and look at everyone. Long brown hair, half of it bleached; dark eyes behind a pair of green plastic-framed glasses; a bit on the heavier side, like Han himself, and wearing a floral summer dress and a pair of short leggings. Her face was flushed red, her lipstick a dark blue, and her nails painted black that just started to chip.

Han missed her so much.

"So… hi." She waved around again, a bit confused. "What’s up…?"

"Who’s this?" Dwight was the first to speak.

"My girlfriend," Han replied, sounding rather insistent. "We were just about to finish our session, Lils. Can you wait?"

"Mmhm! Absolutely! I’ll be so quiet, you’ll forget I’m even here!"

Nobody forgot she was there. Merril kept looking over to her, Reed and Dwight seemed skeptical as ever, and the only person who was normal about it was Lucy. But it wasn’t news for Lucy, she’s met Leah before after all. All the while Leah sat there, chuckling at the game and waiting patiently for Han to finish, which he did twenty minutes later. Dwight practically ran out, followed by Logan who needed to pick his own boyfriend up for dinner, but…

"So where are you from in Canada?" Merril asked first, making Leah smile.

"I’m… not Canadian. Did Han tell you I’m Canadian?"

"Where’s your lipstick from?" Reed asked next.

"Umm… it’s, it’s from NARS, I picked it up on the way here, I forgot to pack my own makeup and—"

"Is Han taking you to prom?"

Han choked on his water at that. "I can’t leave my room for prom, Merril. Health risks."

"You can have an indoors prom."

"We planned on watching Battlestar Galactica and ordering takeout," Leah admitted. "But… an indoors prom would be nice. I’m not going to mine anyway. My class is writing this… really offensive skit about one of the math teachers and I don’t want to be a part of it."

"What’s your prom even like…?" Reed squinted, sitting back down. "That you do skits."

"It’s… not really a prom. Israel doesn’t really have the promenade culture, it’s just like a showcase the whole class does for family and friends before graduation… I’ve never liked this practice, you know, I think it’s just…"

As Leah rambled on, Han took his time to clear the table and silently hope Merril and Reed leave soon. Those two have prom dates after all. And neither are a Canadian girlfriend.

#kylo cant write #Dalton by CP Coulter #dalton big bang 2020 #day one - Windsor house #Han Westwood has a girlfriend #and Logan has ADHD #there's a bit of jogan if you squint

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 4 years ago

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So about Sunny: Age,Interests,family,profession, weapon of choice, love interest. clothes? Give me everything!

Hi i love you so much for this

Age: I dont have it exactly pinned down, but somewhere around the 80-90 mark. They're a half elf so I imagine them having maybe three, four times the lifespan of a human. For comparison they look to be mid 30s.

Interests: Being drunk as much as possible actually, they've gotten a lot better about that. They still drink more than they should but are a bit less reckless about it. But, yeah, still have a thing for whiskey and cigars lol. They're kind of into mechanics, not in a big way but enough to tinker with their bike and make some modifications to their gun. OH, heres a secret one; yknow those trashy romance novels? Im talking Chuck Tingle shit. They collect them. They're not like, into themyou understand, they just find poorly written erotica to be absolutly hysterical. If they're reading a book its probably a bad romance novel that they'reaughing at.

Family: They only have a couple of living blood family; their dad, Garlin, who is the classic absent father trope and they don't actually know, and (in wow at least) a recently rediscovered great grandmother, Rhyneia. Rhyn is a night elf demon hunter who's been alive since the war of the ancients. Old, thousands of years old badass hunter who has grown extremely jaded and cynical, and is basically just sort of drifting through life desperate for excitement. Welp. Sunny sure is interesting, at least

Found family is a big thing for them though! They have several people who consider them family (including another entire extended elf family and a fae) and it surprises them every time. There's this ancient orc warrior who's almost as old as them and kind of thinks of them as a sibling, they have a weirdly tight friendship that no one else understands bc Sunny just turns into a grumly old person around him, there's another p young orc who theyve known most of his life and basicly adopted as a little brother. AND once the Shadowlands scourge invasion kicks off, they're going to adopt a half orc/troll orphan named Rishi! Tbh the end goal for them is a few decades down the line they end up running a kind of foster home for lost kids and end up with a gang of children

Proffession: I mean, the answer they give varies. Generally they'll keep ot vague and just call themself a trader or businessperson. The truth is more like smugler/mercenary. The sort of person who can get a hold of items they really shouldn't by questionable means. They've worked as an assassin in the past too, but they're trying to move away from that.

Weapon of choice: guns and knives. They always have half a dozen or so knives on them as well as a couple of pistols, in in game their main weapon mog is like. Axe blades mounted on gun stocks? So I picture them being like a short range shotgun blast. They also have a sniper rifle that they treat like their firstborn child.

They used to be able to do all kinds of knife tricks, juggling etc but they haven't tried in a few years due to the condition of their hands worsening.

Love interest: They actually have a couple lol. They're poly and historically are not great at relationships because of anxiety, trust and commitment issues, etc. They currently have two partners though, a dranei void preist named Szae who they? Kind of see on and off, its fairly casual but they also just get each other on a really deep level so there's a lot of trust there. AND, a half elf death knight named Relm, who they only really started dating recently and are still kinda. Nervous about.

They do this thing where they'll hit on everything feminine that gives them a positive response and act like a really smooth operator but the second they actually develop feelings for someone it freaks them the fuck out and they turn into the most nervous sappy romantic imaginable and thats kinda where they are with Relm rn. Its adorable.

Clothes: they have fairly practical casual clothes for the most part, baggy shirts and trousers full of pockets. But they also have this big sleeveless duster that they think looks badass, and a fucking cowboy hat. There is no deep emotional significance to the hat. They just think it looks cool.

If theyre bein fancy they'll go with big flowy buttons shirts with like a waistcoat on top. That sorta, dashing rogue style look.

Ty so much ;-; I have. So much in my head about them. They have a ton of trauma and depression and bad coping mechanisms but theyre TRYING damnit and theyre getting better and their partners are helping them. Makes me happy, man

#oc tag #sunny

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microfeelings · 5 years ago

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Well you know what they say, if you want to get things out there you... have to get things out there

So Fantasy AU with Game Grumps

Tbh i dont know how this started... It might have been something along the lines of Dan would make a great bard, and Suzy is totally a druid... and everything went downhill from there, but also, who knows how my brain works there is like 4 trains of thought at the same time and they're all roughly have the same thoughts if that makes sense? So I'm thinking of something in 4 different ways and its hard to pinpoint from wich train the idea came from... yall still with me? Cause I tend to ramble when I'm panicking (and also dont know what I'm doing)

The idea is basic dnd party doing missions all over the fantasy land and nearly dying/accidentally destroying cults in the process of getting to the big plot (WICH I DONT HAVE LMAO, remember that comic about the "oh man, two cakes" guy? This is me presenting the ingredients of the cake and calling it a day, I am so sorry, my brain is way over the place to get you something better)

So far I have three paragraphs and is like 80% rambling, I feel like a deer in the headlights. Anyways so the characters;

Arin: half orc barbarian, dont know how to describe my decision other than.... big arms. And also, not to be thirsty on main he would look so good with tusks (sidenote: I love half orcs, never played dnd but honestly i would probably only ever play half orcs). Basic adventurer, left the place he grew up with when he was of age to find himself and get stronger, also since he kinda didnt like himself he tried to get rid of his tusks and long hair, but eventually left them to grow. Always travels with a companion and that doesnt always end well. Sweet, kind and funny, he makes friends wherever he goes, but also lots of enemies (like a lot of people want him death, even demons, and Arin still doesnt understand why cause hes not the worst person ever come on) its hinted through foreshadowing (i talk like this is a fucking show) that he is a vessel for an old moon/sun god, or is the moon/sun god reincarnated and he hasnt remembered yet. And by implied I mean, I've been playing with the idea, but I dont know if I'll follow through (at least its a plot)

Dan: elf bard, of roughly 250+ years, hes got the most experience in the bunch as an adventurer but also feels out of time because he slept through 50 years straight cause he was sick, when he woke up he found out lots of people he knew had died and that kinda fucked him up. Diplomatic in a tipical bard fashion (he will fuck his way out of the mess) but an experienced swordman as well (with both a longsword and a rapier). When he first woke up he got the first job that he could manage (mercenary) where he met Brian, he later left the job because it didnt feel right with him, and started travelling on his own, he met Arin and started travelling with him cause friendship and also barbarian here to make sure you dont die in battle you squishy elf

Suzy: elf druid, keeper of a forest near where Arin lived a season, befriended him when he was younger, never left the forest cause it was her duty to protect it, but it got invaded by a group of mercenaries and it got impossible for her to drive them off (like come on, she is strong, but its really hard to drive off like 50+ people) she tried to ask for help in the nearby towns but nobody came to her aid for being the witch of the forest, until eventually Arin and Dan accepted to help her, she later joined them in adventures. Her body is covered in tattoos, and is trying to convince Arin and Dan to get one as well (pls). Her favorite forms to take are bear, snake and spider (to scare Dan)

Ross: tiefling warlock. The first person to travel with Arin when he was younger, they met when Ross initially tried to kill Arin but failed, they became fast friends and also ride or die for each other, and Ross would never tell him that his patron ordered to kill him and his initial intent was to do it, but ended up liking Arin too much to get trough with it. Loves to antagonize Dan for the sake of it and sometimes gets jealous of him (I was his friend first) wraps his tail around Arin when he gets scared/is sleepy and Arin thinks its adorable

Brian: human rogue. Part of a mercenary crew that is absolutely despicable, met Dan when he first woke up and accepted him as the only partner (he killed all the others) since Dan fell asleep below a tree near the town Brian grew up with, and troughout his life he always saw Dan sleeping under a tree and now hes awake asking for a job here? You stick with me, I promise not to stab you (too much). Since he has a wife and daughter he want to leave the life of mercenary, so Arin agrees to help him kill his own boss (A+ on the handling things boys)

And then there is Barry, who I want to be a recurring character but I never really got into GG until he wasnt there so I dont know a lot about him, and theres a bunch of other characters that are definetly a part but also there is only so much I can write here and theyre kinda more like background

I write like those old fanfic writers who are always interrupting their own work but instead of pluging in something like 'lmao im crazy' im having a panic attack

Also I feel like I need to say this, this is technically polygrumps? But like most romance in any tv show, it add nothing to the plot, I just like shipping

#egobang #polygrumps #fantasy grumps

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ohsweetflips · 5 years ago

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hi! if you dont mind me asking, how did you go about organizing your players handbook? as dumb as this might sound what exactly do you mean by organizing? i have one too and ive browsed through it before in prep for character creation but the depth and detail of all the info leaves me a little confused sometimes.

yes of course!!

i’m just gonna post a pic again so it’s easier to explain:

so, first off, the top row of sticky notes are the chapters! the color-coding there was accidental (bc i ran out of blue sticky notes) but it actually worked out well. the blue sticky notes are setting up your character, and then the yellow is for help in actually playing and also has all the spells!

the right row is races (green) and classes (orange)! i could’ve broken some down more (for example, i could’ve also strictly labelled high elves and drows, and i could’ve broken up wizard specializations) but that kinda would’ve driven me up a wall and also i have kinda a shitty back and i was in a good amount of pain after being hunched over the book for an hour labelling omg

but!!! the labels!!! i decided to break it up into four parts (setting up the game, actually playing, races, and classes) bc, since me and my friends are still pretty new to dnd but i’m our designated dm, i wanted to make it easy to find everything! so i only labelled the basics. like, i could’ve broken down the backgrounds (like criminal, noble, etc.) but, bc at large, those don’t have huge mechanical weight, i just left those under the general “background” sticky note. and all equipment is under “equip” and so forth

and, tbh, if you’re gonna break down your phb, i recommend doing it by chapter! just bc, idk abt you, but i get super overwhelmed having to flip back and forth between the table of contents and the shit i’m looking for, so knowing exactly where to flip helps smooth out the process. and then i labelled all races and classes to make character creation and game play easier!!! bc, for example, my friends play a high elf and a half-orc, so they both have abilities that they might not know abt, so i can check for them easily while playing!

and then, idk how clear it is on the picture, but i made specific sticky notes for spellcasting and all the spells you can learn!! just bc there’s a lot and, when playing, i have to constantly be checking spells, so it’s just that much easier to keep everything streamlined

tldr: separate by chapter, and i rec breaking down the races and the classes but that is more of a personal choice. there are also appendixes in the back that i forgot abt omg but, again, my back was screaming after being hunched for an hour so i was kinda just like “alright let’s get this over with”. there are probably more in-depth ways to break it down, like having specific tabs for stuff like subraces and multiclassing, but tbh that’s almost Too Organized for me bc that would be A Lot of tabs

tbh, the one thing the phb is kinda unclear abt, at least in my opinion (as someone who, before getting this book, learned 95% of my dnd knowledge from taz and 5% from cr), is skill check modifiers? but, after doing a quick google search, i’m pretty sure it’s [ability modifier] + [proficiencies if applicable]

(so, for example, if you have a +3 for wis and a prof. bonus of +3 w/ proficiency in perception, then perception would have a modifier of +6.... i think)

did this help? i kinda started rambling omfg

#answered #2 #3 #4 #5 #dnd #tagging for organizational purposes #thursdaysshepard

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kaiju-z · 5 years ago

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FINALLY back on track, after a month and a half of stuff getting in our way, but here we are with session 20!!!

Seon Adventures Episode 20: Going Solo...

With the passing of the night, comes the light of day.

The trio of Belli, Luctan and Mournimar awake alongside Morgan and the elf baby with notably Amelia, Archie, Burk and Rimefang missing. Luctan does elaborate where Amelia had gone, though it gets missed in the confusion when everyone wonders what happened with Burk.

Thinking quickly on her feet, Belli sends a message to Burk to check where he is. But all he answers with is that Rimefang’s fine, don’t know where Amelia is.”

As Luctan fixes the baby up for the day, packing him like a little baby burrito (a babitto, if you will), the remaining bunch go upstairs, while Belli gives a call to Amelia. Amelia, who had been having the most wonderful of sleeps she has had since a long while.

“No.”

Belli sends her a message again with a whistle.

“No. Just no.”

Luctan has to repeat himself on where Amelia actually is, much to the amusement of the adopted duo.

As they climb up the stairs, everything seems normal and as expected from the previous night, people coming and going, welcomed and- And the party for some reason get approached by a very confused human, wearing the robes of the temple of Keemis.

Brunette, with an undercut, in his 30′s, scars on his arms and face, the kind man delivers a letter to the bunch, asking if they’re the Cultbusters.

“Are you the Cultbusters?”

“Depends on who’s asking?”- Belli.

“3 of them!”- Mournimar.

After a brief sibling argument about just up and telling people their identities, the man elaborates that the letter is written by Burk. Or. Well, he helped Burk write that letter for the party.

Mournimar is the one to read it to everyone else. All lower case, a lot of the words are misspelled.

“ hi. this is from burk. i am leaving now. ive been thinking and i think i do not need to be here anymore. i found one of the guys i was looking for and it was really easy and no ofense but i was hoping for cold hard killers and u r not. but you were all realy nice to me, nicer than any one has before so i am going to miss all of u very much. rimefang is coming with me because hes too cool for u. also i think hes geting bigger cause he started sheding or some thing i dont know. i left some scales for u, and ur share of the gold. there is a lot of stuff i wana go do and i feel bad draging u guys with me so i gotta go do it my self. but i want u all to know im not just going to kill people for me. i am doing stuff for u. For amelia and luc i am going to come back and we are gona have the best fight ever and learn a lot. For beli i am going to steal the biggest shinyest kazoo i can find. For morni i will stop punching wolfs and also be nicer to weird animals i find in the forest. u were all very nice and good with peeple and not good at vilence, and thats a good thing. but i dont fit in. bye for a while

burk “

The trio are devastated. Belli is the most vocal, with Mournimar having to calm her down, while Luctan stands stoically, with the baby in his arm.

Burk left.

It’s heart breaking.

It’s heart breaking and the cleric tries to cast Calm Emotions on the lot of them to try and soothe their woes. Mournimar fails his save, Luctan doesn’t even try and Belli tanks that and starts shouting at him for imposing his magic on them, without their consent.

“Don’t you fucking dare try and tell me what to fucking feel.” - She is emotion personified.

When things calm down, Luctan apologizes and asks for the messenger’s name.

“ My name is Malak. I am a Devotee of Keemis. I’ve been living here in this temple for a few years.” He had heard of the Cultbusters’ reputation and found interest and want to join them on their questing, seeing as they’ve stirred some cults out of their comfort.

Thrown them out of their rhythm, if you will.

He is accepted, Belli referring to him as their “intern” for now and, with introductions made, and Malak gathering his equipment, the bunch of them take to the last tavern they had gone to for breakfast and meeting back up with Amelia.

Amelia waits for them there. Nel had spoken to her about how she managed to get her mother to agree on leaving town for a while with the help of a family friend. And she had made some sort of offer to Amelia.

The group are again together at the tavern and introduce Malak. Amelia and Malak shake hands as a distraught Belli pays the tavern keeper to go and work the kitchen for a while.

Amelia encourages her. “The fact he wrote us a letter means he cared about The Cultbusters.” She gently holds Belli’s arm, ‘cause Belli’s abandonment issues have kicked in hard.

There’s stress baking and then there’s stress cooking. And Belli does this handily. And she makes... so much food! 1st, second, third Breakfasts, if those were actual things, of course.

“It’ll be alright. He had to do what he had to do.”

As Belli comes and goes with increasingly more and more plates of food, we end up talking about the baby and his future. The little elven boy keeps tugging at Luctan’s hair, fussing at him and getting fussed at.

A few suggestions get made. From Malak’s suggestion to raise the child in the orphanage, to the talk with Nel the other day, involving handing him over to a rich family.

The decision is hard to make. Whether he likes it or not, Luctan’s attached himself to the little one, but he knows he can’t keep him with the party as dangers keep increasing on their journey. He had been having waking flashes back to every incident since the child was with them and how scared he was from the screams and roars and hurts and aches.

He couldn’t let the baby travel with them further. He knew what he was going to do, regardless of where the baby went, but still.

Amelia catches up with Malak on his Keemis Clergy work.

He’s been at this for 5-6 years or so. He heard about the party after the CB helped arrest the local cultists. He’s fascinated by souls and how they transition, based on their alignment. He’s searching for an answer to this question. Basically, he’s looking for research.

Amelia asks where he’s from.

“I’m from Lian. It is not a good place to raise a kid and I left home, got a lot of people from my home town killed. We wanted to leave, thought we’d make our own band of soldiers to fight in the war and I’m the only one left. And so I try to find some meaning in the senseless death and resurrection and ended up meeting some Keemis priests. Fell in with them and came up here.”

The gang try to cheer him up about his backstory woes and some end up sharing their own troubles. Mournimar does so. Luctan gives away the shocker that his family owned slaves and that triggered his sense of aiding those in need, freeing the captive ones and fleeing via teleport scroll. And lastly Belli tells the tragic story of her family.

Doting on the baby commences, while Mournimar gives Malak some pointers on the shenanigans he is up for with Belli, now that he is part of the group.

Following their hefty meal, Mournimar gets his new armor. Better fitted than his previous one. Since he found it in the barracks??? This one is more custom. Studded Leather, which raises his AC + 1

Going back on forth on where to go next, during this tragic shopping episode, Belli shares Burk’s treasures with the cleric, seeing as he had left them for the rest.

Before anything can be really bought, though, aside of the meals, we go for the payment on the Serial Kilelr job.

As the party draw closer to the dungeons, Mournimar suggests Belli let Luctan talk, which offends Belli, who gets encouragement from Luck and Malak that she’ll do great. Malak ingretiating himself by casting Guidance and Enhance Ability on the Half-Orc Bard, right before she approaches the receptionists, an older Half-Elf man and a yellow tiefling.

“Now is the time to prove them wrong.”

The conversation is quick and Belli shines during this process. We are thanked, the lot of us, for the work we did and are pointed to the office of the Captain in charge.

While walking, we get a few pointers on places to visit around town.

Generally South-West of the city is a good night’s time.” the HElf answers Amelia. Though, uh, he wouldn’t know personally. Definitely.

We walk down to the office, knock on the door before walking in.

We are welcomed in by the Halfling woman inside. She’s dressed well for her job. Not exactly the outfit one would expect for prison duty, but then again, they didn’t have a good idea on that, themselves. Blue eyes observe us warmly and kindly, through a wavy bob haircut, while she fiddles with the cuff of one of her sleeves. Her office is bare, maybe she’s new, maybe it’s how she likes it.

She kind of looks everyone up and down. “I’m guessing you’re the folks we’ve been expecting, huh?”

The party apologize as they didn’t have a proper schedule in mind and the thought is shared vice-versa as it just... Really was like that sometimes? Often times?! A lot. It happened a lot.

For finding the hide out of the slayer of cityfolk, for convincing his husband to give himself up and testify about his beloved, the ‘busters gain a monetary reward. As she pulls out a big chest on the table, Belli tries to convince her to unionise. To some possible success? She certainly seems curious about the suggestion itself.

Ames kinda looks her up and down and gives a smol little thumbs up

She’s a valuable worker, she’s worth more.

On behalf of the city of Crystalgate, thank you for all of your efforst in intervening with the issue. The culprits have been dealt with.” Much to the four original members’ surprise, the husband has been released, having promissedto turn over a new leaf.

Luctan would later ask the captain, who introduced herself to the five as River Blackbrace (Just River), where he could find the husband and, after ensuring her that he planned no ill will towards the man, she guesses he’d be back in town or at one of the temples.

The woman feels like rewarding us with more, since this isn’t her gold, yeah? Lots of paperwork time prevented. The five are given suggestions on places to go and spend our money. Between " Neladrie's Rarities” and “Snipper’s Hall’, the clothing store of Grinella, they have some good options on their way.

Grinella is the best at her work, as far as River’s concerned.

Before they go, we mention to River that we plan on participating in the Spring Festival’s tournament.

River mentions that it was originally created as a celebration of the heroes Septum Sabata. It’s a series of trials re-creating what they went through to save everyone. Malak has watched it a few times and things happening around the arena a few good times. He’s the local CG expert.

And if they really feel down, there’s also a place... a-a-

Café where they summon fae animals.

And should they need a good book, there’s a library in the north east. “The Lady Stormweaver National Library.” The conversation about books prompts Luctan to show off the “Handerstaad” he got from Sa Doma.

And River spills the tea that Kheyha is a local. And has spent some time in the dungeons for her alcoholism antics. (Never meet your heroes, kids.)

They are suggested to stay away from the Ebryosis followers. Best leave those kinky fellas to their own “dungeons”.

As they walk walk to the clothes and magical trinkets shops, Mournimar has a heart to heart with Belli, apologizing for his behavior. While Luctan checks the money with Malak. The sibs hug it out, while the money is counted and distributed amongst all of them, even as Malak protests some.

There’s a faint tingle of wind chimes as the five go to one of the most eclectic collections of goods of various kinds we’ve ever seen. Sort of an order to it, anyways. A rainbow pattern across the show. Vaguely arranged in no particular order. Pretty much everything’s in a different size and shape.

A high elven woman, Neladrie, sits in a tall stool behind a desk, very long hair. She glances vaguely at us and has a monocular on.

Good morning. Feel free to look around. Please be aware you’re being watched, so don’t get any funny ideas. And Welcome.” She points at her watchful little pseudodragon, watching from the rafters.

Belli uses mage hand to pat the dragon.

She knows she’s a good gorl.

The search commences as each member of the party search foritems with some help of the shopkeeper.

Malak gains supplies for his Divination magic, including dragon bones.

Mournimar tries and fails to find anything that could enhance his wisdom.

Amelia gets her hands on some lovely sea shells.

Luctan gets helped with finding a focus for his recently developed magical abilities. A small purple crystal.

All the while Belli takes her pick, between some wild musical instruments.

There is an holy banjo with all the gods’ symbols.

There’s a great axe with a wider handle. A didgerydeath, if you will.

And also, what appears to be a kazoo 2. One sort of kazoo entrance and branches out into different sights. It’s like if a kazoo had different pitches.

There’s also a set of bagpipes.

And last, but not least, an ukulele of sorts. Upon testing it, the ukulute sounds like a spannish guitar, almost.

Ostentatious is her brand and after testing all the instruments, she agrees to buy the ukulute.

With purchases made, the gang take the next step of their journey, going to the “Snipper’s Hall”, where they meet the one and only Grindelia Snipper. A Goblin Woman, standing atop a 7ft tall step ladder, measuring a tall model with her arm tattoo.

“OH! Welcome!”

"Snipper’s Hall” is a long building, like a miniature Viking lounge house, with elements of stone to keep it stable. There is a wide variety of different sort of premade outfits, models of different heights going from 4.5 to 8ft tall... And. There’s a jewelry section.

After a greeting, the party make their requests and orders in a friendly sort of manner. Mournimar buys a jacket and a stag brooch, Belli gets herself a new, lovely outfit, a dress of blue and pink, as well as a canine bracelet. Malak’s fine as he is and Amelia is left uncertain with what to purchase.

Upon Luctan’s request... A custom outfit which’ll take a few days to put together, the poor secret Tieflingman gets handled with amazing strength and tenacity by the spunky and overly friendly goblin woman, who measures him nice and well with her arm and finger, taking his numbers with keen eyes, even with his armor still on.

He can’t be sure why, but the very suggestion she’s sent people to get treatment over the roughhousing sends a chill down his spine. The elf baby just has a blast during the entire developement.

Business transaction made, the next stop is “Peppery Pete’s Pile of Potions.”

Belli is still angry with the old gnome, over his potions involving Orcish strength, given the negative stereotype about Orcish intelligence lowering the user’s titular stat.

A stern talking to is to be had, before any dealings get made there.

Along the way to the shop, Luctan asks Malak if he knows anything about the tournament, beyond what the party had heard and he shares his knowledge with the gang:

“The Tournament is divided into three trials The Trial of the Elemental Lords, the Trial of the Beast and the Trial of the Betrayed.

The Trial of the Elemental Lords involves the blending of the elements being worked into a challenge that teams must overcome together.

The Trial of the Beast involves fighting a mighty beast that establishes victors as a cut above the rest.

The Trial of the Betrayed is the grand finale, the remaining 2 groups battle it out. But there are clerics on standby. You cannot aim to kill, just to knock unconscious. Any deliberate murder would be acted upon as such in a court of lawAfter the tournament, a party is held for all groups within the Echosmith Hall and the champions are presented with their rewards.”

Luctan’s mind wanders. Things to be re-worked in his goals.

The lot of them soon reach the shop and, upon summoning Pete inside, welcomes are had. Arguing commences between the Half-Orc and the Gnome as Pete ultimately admits that he stopped producing the particualr offending potion, much to the losses in his product.

Ideas are being thrown around on potions Pete could work on in turn, before any business could be had, involving the party’s wants and needs.

Aside from getting a Greater Health Potion and a new Potion of Wizard’s Folly (after giving his first one to Danton back in Sa Doma), the party have... particular requests.

Belli takes note of the “ Basilisk Tears “ potion. For 200 gold, she most definitely buys that and makes plans. Fast plans on the use.

On Luctan’s end, with the deal being made for Peter sponsoring the adventurers for the tournament to come, Luctan gives in to the support of the full party, now that they are all in the shop, as opposed to only half there. With the price for his sword’s modification being brought down to 1,000 gold and the helping hand of Mournimar, Amelia and Malak, who didn’t even want the share of money given to him, Luctan accets.

And hands his greatsword over to the gnome for the specific enchantments he requested.

Belli has that moment of realization, you know? The one, where you just know that you have to move, while the moving is available and contacts Ficus about the Potion of Basilisk Tears, a concoction that might JUST bring her family back to their old selves!

With the party’s blessings, she runs off towards the Crusty Challice, where Ficus will wait for her.

But she doesn’t go alone as Mournimar tails her, just to make sure she doesn’t get messed with, before getting to her older brother. All the while the rest of the group are welcomed to the back of the shop by Pete for training.

As the work out commences, Mournimar follows. And as he follows, he keeps an eye out for anyone shady that might be watching Belli on her way out of the walls of the city.

He doesn’t see anyone. But gets the feeling that he is watched. He investigates that feeling. He notices that someone in the crowd is watching him. Seems to be, looks like a bald older man, stocky built, little bit tall and for a second the tiefling swears there's the faint glimmer of horns in his shadow, but then they disappear. As does he as Mournimar tries to find him in the crowd. To no avail.

Regardless, he continues on the path to the tavern.

There’s a bit of a smog in the tavern as people’ve lit cigarettes and pipes. Belli and Ficus have a good long talk as she shows him the potion of Basilisk tears. They are shaken, misty eyed and anxious to see if it works. This horror that befell their family... It could end in the next couple of days!

By the time she hugs Ficus, Mournimar has entered the tavern and commenced watching over the shadyness that may be observed from the patrons.

Which is to say, he’s basically looking through a sea of shade.

He does notice, though, one of the bartenders has a sort of, finely shaped jaw and stood up black hair, a bit of stubble and seems to be watching Mournimar a bit more intently than normal.

Mournimar tries to stealth closer to the guy, even though he’s aware. He tries to figure out who the guy is, but he has no idea.

Eye contact is made between the two as the guy slides a glass with Brandy over to Mournimar and just continues with his work behind the bar.

Mourni has a leetl sip to make sure everything’s Gucci. Tastes like some of the brandy from around Bavorum. Nostalgic.

Through some small talk, Mournimar learns that the man’s name is “Joe”. Just a working Joe, you know?

It’s less of a talk and more of an interrogation as they don’t break eye contact.

“The brandy’s on the house, Mournimar.” the man answers with the name that the tiefling hadn’t given him. Like. At all.

No answer given on how he knows that.

He backs out the back door with a wink and Mournimar follows after her.

There’s no way the Half-Orcs don’t see this by now and they dash and jump on after the digitigrade ranger, who finds himself and Morgan out in the back alley, with no sign of the mystery man, named Joe.

He tries everything he can, from following tracks, to Hunter’s Mark, to Morgan’s snoofer, but nothing works. The man is just... gone.

With the Narahs catching up to him, he explains what happened and has to be talked down from pointlessly searching for a man, or whoever, who is just “GONE”.

It is then that Belli must explain to him that she has to leave Crystalgate with Ficus. To try the potion on her family. It’s hard on Mournimar, but the frazzled tiefling understands.

Belli hands him Orion and states that, if anything is to happen, she’ll call the others. They then agree to meet up with the others for a proper goodbye.

The others, by the way, doing pretty well for themselves in this new enviroment.

A deal has been made that every time Amelia does good in the training, Archie gets a treat.

Given that the chunky kitty is on his back, getting pats on his big belly from the baby, she’s killed this training.

The entire development has left the running quartet staggering back to the rest of the party. Mournimar doesn’t spot anything off on the way back.

As everyone reconvenes, Mournimar gives them an update on the respective situations, giving in detail a description of this “Joe” character. He worries it could be related to Lazarus, his ex. Or Kahlia. Or Potencia herself. He gets calmed by Luctan’s wording on the subject.

“We’re a bunch of famous and attractive people. Let’s face it. we have fans.”

As the party splits up, with Belli making her goodbyes with the rest of the gang, Luctan Blesses her and Ficus, which catches Malak’s attention. Thinking about the type of magic being used, he can tell that, though holy, it is not one of the Five that has given Luctan his abilities.

With Belli and Ficus taking Kevin and Killer, the rest of the party opt to go to the circus on the outskirts of town.

“The Voluptani Mystique “, a big tent circus in the north-west part of town’s outskirts. It’s fabulous on the outside.

They pay and notice at the entrance, a red skinned tiefling woman with a long, ball gown dress, leaning against the booth she stood inside and she waves a hand over and leaves a small mark with Prestidigitation.

Lead inside, it’s basically how you imagine a circus. An arena with seats around the circle. The four and their animal companions take a seat at the front as the Dancing Lights Cantrip flies around the tent, lighting and highlighting everything and everyone gathered, people of many walks of life. Just here for a little show to end the evening.

A cloud of smoke emits from the middle and the huge entrance of the tent swings shut.

Inside the cloud the lights start hovering, we can see the lights start changing color and go in different directions, erratic and suddenly there are hops from around the room where everyone’s sitting. And back in the middle, when they look, they see a high elf woman with pitch black hair falling long and wavy towards the bottom.

She stands with one hand in the air and one hand spread outwards towards the side. She pauses, looks around the audience and she whistles three high pitched notes. She snaps with her pointing up hand and the lights skatter, going right towards the audience. The cloud disappears and in the time it was there, the original woman is gone and there are two halflings, a man and a woman and they start doing all sorts of contortions. They entwine and roll in a ball. Throughout the whole show there is this almost hypnotic flute music. Pyrotechnic displays and after each one, there is a set of three elven dancer,s almost dangerously close as they maneuver around. Really fucking weird. A whole lot of illusion magic is happening here.

At one point the elven dancers starts flying around and Mallak, being a local, has seen this before.

After 3 hours of this weird bewhildering performance the entire room lights up and it’s completely clear and the original high elf woman, who’s actually an eladrin, is still in that same pose as when things started.

And she says “Thank you all once again, as always, please leave your tips with faith on the way out and thank you. She snaps with fingers and purple energy surrounds her as she leaves.

Bewhildered and amazed, Mournimar kinda wants to give this a go. Run away and joy the circus? Follow your dream, bud!

Having been in Crystalgate for a few years now, Malak had abided in a few viewings of the spectacle and, though it’s often with some modifications, it’s generlaly been the same good experience over time. He’s happy.

Amelia shares with the gang about the possibility of hanging out at Nel’s for a few days. As though there was any question on whether they would say “no” to such an offer.

As the night covers the sky above Crystalgate, the party find themselves again at the rich sector of town, being watched by a guard. Nel arrives at the gate, red faced after messaging Amelia. She forgot to give her a badge and was now paying the price with the run she had to make.

Sadly, though a talented bard, Nel has the muscle content of a slug.

The party soon make it back to Shadowspire Manner, lead by Nel, after introducing Mal to the Half-Elven woman and sharing of Burk’s departure.

They are shown around. the rooms, the kitchen, everything they’d need, before she takes Amelia’s hand and leads her to her room. Nel’s room. She is the body guard and she must guard that body.

Mournimar and Malak opt to crash in Luctan’s room for the evening, deciding not to split the party any further than this.

Luctan watches out of a window for about an hour, while humming to the baby, before going to bed.

As Mournimar and Malak sleep, Mournimar has some kind of dream...

But Luctan doesn’t sleep.

No.

Instead, once he’s sure the others have fallen in rem sleep, he sneaks outside and goes for a short walk around the neighbourhood, doing whatever it is that he does at this time.

After coming back in, 5-10-20-to-30 minutes later, he feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and notices a shadow close to Mournimar, with no one casting it.

Then it disappears.

After investigating out the window, Luctan goes to bed and meditates... on something else.....

Day 2 comes to an end.

Previous Episode / Halloween Episode / Next Episode

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sage-nebula · 6 years ago

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THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 2 TRAILER BREAKDOWN

I’ve already watched the trailer once, and my mind just about exploded, so now I’m watching it again and I’m going to basically liveblog it with reactions, analyses, thoughts, and other such things. Everything will be beneath the cut for those who don’t wish to see, and also because I feel like this is going to get pretty long.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I would die and kill for Azymondias. Literally he is the most precious being in this entire show and I would do anything for him, sweet baby boy.

But speaking of dragons . . .

I STAN TWO DRAGONS. Okay, no, but real talk:

In the voiceover for this part, Viren says:

“There have been reports of shadows in the clouds. Dragons! Flying high above the towns of Katolis!”

I’m . . . suspicious.

I know that this voiceover is given with the shot of this beautiful dragon flying overhead, but here’s the thing: We see them flying over Soren’s head:

Soren may or may not still be in Katolis in this shot. Soren and Claudia are following Callum, Rayla, Ezran, and Azymondias. Those four are headed into Xadia. We don’t know when they’ll make it to Xadia, but it’s possible they do make it there, or at least near there, and that’s when this shot takes place. It’s possible this dragon isn’t above Katolis at all, but is instead somewhere far closer (and maybe even over) the border.

And that would make sense. Why would the dragons be going to Katolis now? The moonshadow elves were the ones sent to take vengeance on behalf of the dragon queen, and Runaan sent his arrow telling her that Harrow was dead. I suppose you could argue that since they never received word of Ezran’s death they’re now sending dragons to scout and look for the assassins, but I find that unlikely. In my opinion, if they were going to go after Katolis themselves, they would have done that first, rather than sending the moonshadow elves. I simply don’t see a motivation for the dragons to fly over Katolis now.

More importantly, though, is what Viren says. He says there are “reports of shadows in the clouds.” He then says that those shadows are dragons. Here’s the thing: shadows could be anything. They could be birds. They could be some other sort of flying creature, and hell, they could even be more clouds, with the way the sun plays on them. But Viren knows that the people of Katolis are currently in a state of fear and unrest since Harrow was assassinated and the princes are missing. He wants the throne, and one way to get it is to have the people themselves insist on putting him on it because there are no other options and they’re scared. And what’s scarier to the people of Katolis than massive dragons in the sky? No one has seen any actual dragons (and you’d think they’d be pretty hard to miss), but people have seen shadows that Viren has now made them think are dragons, and so every single time they see a shadow, they’ll flinch. To me, it sounds an awful lot like Viren is trying to stir up fear in order to get a popular vote to put him on the throne whether the princes die by Soren’s hand or not. Him going on to say:

“And Sunfire Elves are gathering near the border. An invasion is imminent!”

Only serves to stoke the fires (pardon the pun) of that fire. Presumably, elves were already near the border, which is why Amaya and her troops are there. But Viren is acting like this is a new development, and him doing that is made to further stir up fear among the people. Moreover, Viren saying that the Sunfire Elves being near the border means impending invasion is also a way to subtly undermine Amaya; she’s there guarding the border, but he’s basically saying that she’ll be ineffective in stopping the Sunfire Elves. Since he’s in a position of authority as well, and since he’s already making the people terrified, this serves to plant the idea (at least in the public subconscious) that Amaya isn’t strong enough to stop things on her own, thus they need Viren and his leadership.

Meanwhile, as he says “we must be prepared to fight!” Amaya is already fighting and has been prepared for a long time now. Also, on that note, I DON’T KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR HERE. I LOVE AMAYA BUT ALSO THAT SUNFIRE ELF LOOKS AMAZING AHHHHHH

Amaya may be fighting at the border and Gren may be in the dungeon, but Opeli is carrying on the message of wanting to find the princes. I think the Amaya/Opeli shippers may be onto something tbh.

AARAVOS? IS THAT YOU??

More importantly, the voiceover we get at that part (is that Lujanne? I plan to rewatch s1 before s2 releases but I haven’t done it yet) at that part says “dark forces are pursuing you.” We see Aaravos and Viren, but if that is Lujanne (particularly since it’s followed by Rayla saying “Nooobody likes dark forces”), then that leads me to think she’s actually referring to Soren and Claudia, which would make sense since Claudia is the dark magic prodigy willing to torture people to get what she wants instead of giving them quick, merciful deaths.

Also, this shot of Viren:

He gathered up the fire around him, but I think it’s relevant that this shot followed the shot of Aaravos using fire magic as well, given what we learned in Aaravos’ bio on the website today:

The ability to gather up the fire like that might have been a gift that Aaravos gave to Viren. But why? Why would an elf bequeath a gift like that unto a human, and particularly one that sees magical beings as being batteries for power? Particularly one who seals moonshadow elves into coins? Hmm . . . that poem that we were given might have something to do with it . . . we’ll supposedly find the rest “hidden in season two” . . .

HE JUST FLIPS HIS FOOD ONTO BAIT’S HEAD AND AVA’S LIKE “what r u doin” AND AZYMONDIAS IS JUST AMUSED SDJFKSLDJFDS EVEN WHEN HE’S TECHNICALLY BEING NAUGHTY I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S SO PRECIOUS

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of people freaking out about Aanya’s safety in this scene, but here’s the thing:

They’re not attacking her.

Aanya does look freaked out and scared, but these elves aren’t attacking her. If they wanted to attack her, they’d do it. She’s right there. Her neck isn’t covered by armor. They could kill her if they wanted to, but they’re not. Instead, it looks like they’re moving to fight someone in front of her, which leaves us two possibilities: Either they think that there’s a bigger threat right in front of them than the tiny human queen on the throne, or they’re defending her from what they see as the bigger threat (which gives more credence to my idea that Aanya might have elf allies on her side). It’s possible that the reason why Aanya is freaking out is because she didn’t expect them to be able to transform like that, and not because they’re elves with weapons in her throne room.

More worrying, though, is their appearance. That’s not how moonshadow elves look under the light of the full moon. Their eyes didn’t glow red like that. They weren’t completely black like that. Could this be how they look under a new moon? I guess . . . but these elves also look kind of similar to the ones that were killed in the King Harrow assassination attempt, so I’d say it’s also possible that these are zombie elves. If that’s the case, and if these aren’t Aanya’s friends, then might it be possible that this is a trick by Viren made to make the rulers of the other kingdoms see Xadia as even more of a threat than they did previously? HMMM . . .

I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR HIM.

Okay, so here’s the thing: The voiceover for this part is Callum saying:

“I want to learn primal magic. But you have to be born with that magic inside you.”

I feel like the fact that we have that voiceover with these clips is significant. I think it’s significant, too, that Lujanne is showing such a blatantly elven magic thing to Callum instead of Rayla. I think we might see potential this season for Callum to find out that he does have some primal magic inside him. I’m not saying “half-elf Callum” but . . . I’m not not saying that, you feel me? (And what if that’s what Harrow’s letter to Callum was? What if he was telling Callum of his inherent magical ability, and asking him to use that inherent ability---rather than dark magic---to help Ezran be king? HMMM . . .)

However, then we get this bit from Claudia:

“That’s the great thing about dark magic! You just take creatures that are born with that magic inside, and . . . squeeze it out of them!”

YEAH, BIG MOOD, CALLUM.

See, this is what I’ve been saying about Claudia and dark magic this entire time. Everyone wants to peg Claudia as a sweet cinnamon roll because she’s quirky and funny and loves her brother, but the thing is . . . where Soren was going to give Runaan a quick, arguably merciful death, Claudia instead ordered him to be tied up because she thought she could get “more use” out of him. She wanted to drain him dry of his magic, even though that meant chaining him up in the dungeon and killing him slowly (and he later had his soul drained, screaming). Claudia believes Viren that Azymondias’ egg is a thing, and she sees it as a powerful weapon. Why? Because Azymondias is a dragon, presumably, and dragons are incredibly powerful. Even here, look at the expression on her face as she squeezes her book, listen to the tone of her voice and what she says; Claudia thinks it’s great to kill magical beings and take their magic for her own use. She gets enjoyment and pleasure out of it.

Comparisons could be made between this and killing animals for food. What’s the difference between killing a cow to get a stake, and killing an elf to get their magic? The difference is the necessity. People need to eat. If they don’t eat, they’ll starve. And if people need to eat meat for protein or other dietary reasons, they need to kill a cow to get that meat. (Or a chicken, or a deer, or an elk, or whatever else.) But humans, even in this universe, don’t need to use magic. It’s not necessary for their survival. Eating is, but dark magic isn’t. It certainly isn’t to the extent that Claudia uses it, for pranks and making pancakes. Claudia delights in the torture and death of magical creatures for her own personal convenience. She doesn’t have to do the things she does---she could just make normal pancakes like a normal person---but she chooses to, and she likes it, she promotes it as being great. But it isn’t, and Callum’s reaction here tells us that, even in this world, Claudia’s behavior and attitude in this arena is out of the ordinary. And before anyone blames this on Viren, no. Viren taught her dark magic originally, yes, but Claudia is sixteen. She’s old enough to know right from wrong, to think and make decisions for herself, and her reaction to Viren telling her to sacrifice Soren tells us that she does recognize when Viren says things she disagrees with. Claudia’s opinions and behavior with regards to dark magic are entirely her own. Her complete disregard for the lives of magical beings, and her willingness to torture their magic out of them for her own personal convenience and gain, is entirely her own.

Does Claudia have elements of sweetness in her toward those she loves? Sure.

But she’s still incredibly dangerous and has a sadistic side to her as well. As Aaron Ehasz said, if she was a bender in the Avatar universe, she’d be a bloodbender.

TAKE HIM DOWN, RAYLA! KICK HIS ASS, BABY, I GOT YO’ BRAID!!!!

Oh nooooo, what is happening here. My first thought was that perhaps Callum just learned of Harrow’s death, but in that case I find it strange that we don’t have Ezran in this shot as well. So perhaps, since we know that Soren and Claudia catch up to them, Claudia gives Callum the letter that Harrow wrote for him, Callum read it . . . and that’s what leads to this. ;A;

I STAN A QUEEN.

THAT LOOKS LIKE QUEEN SARAI ON THAT HORSE. And that person on the back . . .

THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE VIREN.

So here are my thoughts: We know that King Thunder was known for protecting the border. Whenever humans tried to cross, Thunder fended them off. My thought is that Viren crossed the border to poach more magical creatures for use in his dark magic spells. After all, magical creatures aren’t native to the human kingdoms, so the only place he could get them is within Xadia. When Viren crossed the border, this angered Thunder, and Thunder did what he always did: He attacked in order to defend the Xadians (which, considering Viren likely wanted to poach them for dark magic, is fair).

Now, here’s where Sarai comes in: Either Viren convinced Sarai to take him across the border in the first place, or Sarai found out what he was doing somehow and ran in to rescue him. Either way, she got him on the back of her horse and together they fled from Thunder’s attack. But whether Thunder was directly attacking them or trying to fend them off doesn’t really matter much when he’s causing lightning to crash down around them. Their horse was only a horse, and likely it got scared. There’s a very high probability that they were both thrown from the horse. Viren sustained permanent injury in his leg, and Sarai was killed. This is what led to Harrow, in his griefstricken rage, deciding to slay Thunder.

I know a lot of people will read that and will decide that the moonshadow elves were not justified in killing Harrow, then, because Thunder killed Sarai first, but if you think that, I ask you to look at this hypothetical scenario again. Thunder only retaliated to drive humans—at least one of whom wanted to poach and therefore kill Thunder’s people for dark magic—out of Xadia. Thunder wouldn’t leave the border; he was always there to defend it. Viren is the one who instigated this conflict if this scenario pans out, not Thunder. That doesn’t mean it was all right for Sarai to die—she was a casualty in this—but it does mean that if anyone “started it,” it was Viren.

And do you know who else I think holds this opinion? Amaya.

This would explain Amaya’s mistrust of Viren: she blames him for Sarai’s death. Viren was the one who decided to cross the border, either necessitating Sarai’s rescue or goading Sarai to go with him. Either way, it was not something that needed to be done. But he did it anyway, and Sarai died for it. There’s a possibility that Amaya even believes this was premeditated on Viren’s part, that he wanted Sarai to die so that he could have a stronger voice in Harrow’s ear. Whether or not that’s true, though, I do think Amaya would blame Viren for Sarai’s death in this scenario, which would perfectly explain why she doesn’t trust or like him at all.

(Also, while I think that Viren would cross to poach magical creatures, it’s also possible that he crossed because he found out that the dragon queen had an egg, and that he wanted to steal Azymondias’ egg from the get-go. Claudia said that Viren views it as a weapon, and we know that Viren himself views it as more valuable than his own son. If Thunder retaliated against Viren and Sarai so fiercely, it could be because Viren wasn’t only there to poach creatures, but that Viren was caught trying to steal Azymondias’ egg, which caused Thunder to retaliate even more harshly than he ordinarily would have. In that case, Viren would goad Harrow to kill Thunder not just out of retaliation, but also so he could have another shot at stealing the egg, which he then did. It’s something to think about, anyway.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOO ;A;

UMMMMM? CALLUM???? IS THAT DARK MAGIC I SEE? ARE YOU DOING DARK MAGIC????

I am . . . SO upset if this is Callum using dark magic like I think it is. Like how DARE he, how DARE he do that. I really, really hope this is some kind of misdirect, or that he immediately regrets his decision, but Callum, CALLUM, how DARE you, Callum, how DARE you!!!!

“EAT HIM, DRAGON!!” I scream, knowing full well that this is the same dead dragon that we saw Ezran by just moments ago. (Note that I don’t hate Soren, but it’s just that if his opponents are Rayla or a dragon, I’m going to root for them and not him.)

All in all, my head is spinning, my mind is blown, and I was already hyped through the roof but now I’m even more so. SEASON TWO. SEASON TWO CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH.

#the dragon prince #tdp #tdps2 #meta #speculation #i'm not tagging as spoilers since all the spoilers are beneath the cut #so you can choose whether to look or not

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swampgallows · 6 years ago

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it’s actually kind of... hurtful, i guess, because i know my music sounds like nightcore circus music or whatever the fuck and it’s entirely tongue in cheek totally bonkers daycare childish bullshit, and i wear clown clothes n shit, and i KNOW how it looks to everyone else, but the rave scene and happy hardcore and kandi and all of that means SO much to me and it is a pivotal part of my being. i would not be myself without it, it’s a huge part of who i am and it’s where i derive most of my uninhibited joy from. but people just see garbage when they look at me or my clothing or my kandi because it’s cheap and childish to them.

and i mean, the “amateur-ity” is part of the aesthetic of raving, anyway, it’s the entire crux of why me and my friends have such an affinity for the 90s etc; it prioritized DIY, it was about doing what you wanted and doing it for yourself and being self-reliant and self-producing only because you, individually, had a vision, and only you could make it the way you wanted it. so even if it didn’t turn out like you expected or like others would have expected, the point was that you did it yourself and that you made it happen. a lot of the aesthetic of the rave scene champions utility and DIY and that reminds me to give myself a fucking break with my gifted-child 100% straight-A upbringing where everything has to be perfect and if I don’t excel immediately on the first try then i might as well just slit my throat; you’d see the rave flyers that looked “so unprofessional” or whatever but that was the charm to them, that was how you know that real-ass people were throwing it. you look at like the JNCO graphics with their rudimentary photoshop knowledge and Graphic Design 101, or any of the y2k shit where everybody had just discovered Bryce and Reboot-esque textureless CGI was the hot new commodity—orbs and chrome everywhere—and that’s what made it so cool. people unabashedly were happy about celebrating the new cool shit instead of thinking about how it was going to be outdated in 6 months or any of the other cynicism that comes from a hyper-technological era like we’re currently in.

so like, yeah i don’t make the super-polished soft painterly shit that everyone else on tumblr with their thousand elf OCs makes, nor can i hold a candle to the photorealism of wei wang or the hi-res rendering of glenn rane or whatever, but i know that what I’M making is what NOBODY else is making, and the less i feel in competition with the literally infinite amount of artists on the internet, the more i can concentrate and actually MAKE shit instead of getting caught up and suffocated by my own perfectionism. cause you know what happens when you leave everything to fuckin graphic design ~professionals~? you know what happens when the main focus on your music is the “production value” and fidelity of your VSTs instead of, god forbid, maybe using a retooled drumloop sampled from a 70s funk record? This shit.

do you consider that shit art, or advertising? do you want to keep those flyers? do you give a shit about what’s on them? do they grab your attention or do they just say “Hey, this font says ‘here’s a place you can get ecstasy’”? like, can you imagine if someone handed you a dreamscape flyer in 2018? your head would fucking explode.

“this looks like it’s trying to get me to join a cult...” GOOD. IT SHOULD. IT’S A FUCKING RAVE PARTY DUDE. it’s going to be off the fucking CHAIN. but dreamscape parties were fuckin huge, im talkin also about those seriously underground flyers with drug puns hidden in the names of bootleg licensed characters, like fuckin “rice KrispEs” and shit. im talkin about those ultra cheese flyers with how to draw manga-lookin ravers on them and existing cartoon characters with kandi painted on in Flash or MSPaint and free fonts with photoshop filters out the ASS, called whack-ass cryptic shit like “SPARKLE” or “BOUNCE” or “COTTON CAND*E”

these right here are exactly the kind of abominations i’m talkin about. there were a lot more ‘anime’ flyers in the early 00s but i can’t seem to find a lot of them (butterfly ball specifically comes to mind, advertising a BOUNCE HOUSE n shit like that, had some limited too-lookin girl in phats w butterfly wings; my ex/abuser told me about how he said he’d promo for the party and threw half the flyers in the front seat of a broken-in car and the other half in the trash.)

but look at that shit dude. that is ART. that’s stuff people kept because it, in and of itself, was a piece of artwork, a piece of the culture. flyers for parties now are basically made to be thrown away. even digital flyers for event pages had more work put into them ten years ago than they do now.

i mean yeah im kinda doin the nostalgia goggles thing, i dont mean to be like “IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER BACK THEN” but there was actually an ability, for one, for people to do things themselves. kids could move out at 18. the dot com bubble had yet to burst. and rave was new and wild and hard for feds to control, and as technology kept advancing the music only got crazier and more experimental. now things have kinda plateaued, really, and even clubs and DJs push more for fine-tuning tracks over producing anything with any real artistry or experimentation or, well, soul. people aren’t makin shit like sesame’s treet anymore for the laughs even though we have exponentially less to lose (you can just throw shit up on soundcloud for free for god’s sake; even sesame’s treet was pressed to wax).

but then again, maybe soundcloud mumble rap is the closest this generation will get to grunge, garageband (and other DAWs like ableton etc) becoming aptly named substitutes.

#long post #blathering #rave shit

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kaaramel · 6 years ago

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here i’ll start - the GMD characters + october daye fae verse that i mentioned once and then forgot to ever elaborate on

chuubo’s a dryad who is routinely underestimated because nobody thinks especially highly of dryads in this ‘verse. just wants to hang out in the sun and have a good time but, also, has obscenely powerful magic and nobody’s quite sure why or how. signature: crisp apples & the first ash leaves, fresh & fragile, in spring sunlight

chuubo was able to break the tie between local hero laodemus and his death-omen, saving both their lives, and now former-fetch seizhi is his chill adoptive sibling and chuubo’s good buddy. it’s a species that’s never really featured prominently in the books but i tentatively want to say theyre huldra (or, well, laodemus a huldra and seizhi a huldra-shaped fetch) and i could talk about seizhi’s symbolic animal being the ox, and a throwaway line in, i think Once Broken Faith, about huldra being particularly strong and therefore laodemus-appropriate, but if i’m being honest i say this 99% because of the imagery of seizhi with a big rotten-tree-trunk hole in their back, and i dont even know if that’s true for these huldra.. either way, seizhi’s magical signature is melting ice cream and grave-dirt

natalia is a merlin a couple generations removed from any ancestor who could actually see magic or do much with it but she’s got one of those wild aberrant talents and can pump up her own physical strength and endurance for Wild Stunts. her magic is basically nonexistent but if it ever got enhanced somehow the signature would be glacial ice, pure and rigid and unmelting, and... iunno, let’s say juniper?

leonardo is mixed-blood... some combination of coblynau/tylwyth teg/gremlin/that sort of thing, whatever would make him precariously balanced between titania/maeve bloodlines and moderately unstable and privately worried he’s only going to get worse. (i want to give him wings, i tried, but most of the available options have insect wings and aren’t otherwise appropriate for him.) brilliant if insufferable alchemist. signature: corroding metal and waterlogged, rotting sweet flag stalks; used to be hot, well-oiled brass in motion and .. i mean, rushlights are good as a concept but i think that might just smell gross... and on the other hand, he’s absolutely allowed to smell gross. i kind of like the idea of someone whose magical signature has been corrupted or whatever the terminology is but they didn’t really ever smell delicate and floral and nice in the first place

miramie is a barrow wight who’s done some terrible things in the past but she’s just woken up from experimental elf-shot that scrambled her memory. oneiromancer, probably, it’s hyped up as a super rare strange uniqu thing in the books but what are the GMD kids if not unique and overpowered rarities (copy+paste this argument for fetch-seizhi above). i’m not sure what her signature is i don’t think we ever actually got to smell a barrow wight spell... maybe like delicate powdered-sugar pastry and ... lillies or smth

entropy II as a daoine sidhe ruler who almost certainly killed his father to take power is like DEPRESSINGLY consistent with established fae politics and needs no alteration. having his magic directly smell of blood is unsubtle and possibly more of a dochas sidhe thing anyway... dont really know, sorry, something floral. actually maybe he smells like love-lies-bleeding or bleeding hearts or something lmao, or belladonna/some other poison... or both......

this is elaborate, bear with me: rinley is a half-n-half cait sidhe changeling whose human side is vaguely distantly related to a selkie colony. that’s all i really know for sure

per this canon fae are almost universally nocturnal bastards that hate the sun ‘cause it ruins magic so i dont know whats up with jasper. being like, royalty-in-exile from somewhere in the fire kingdoms or air kingdoms would hit some of the right notes, but we know almost no details about those races so (shrug emoji)

#i dont know what the overlap between these fandoms is but its gotta be vanishingly small. this au is.. for Me #if someone does actually decide to send au ideas it doesnt have to be chuuboverse obvi this is just been on my mind #cmwge tag #long post #it turns out that in some sources dryads are specific to oak trees and theres another species of nymph that's for ashes #but when i do this kind of thing i try to stay away from basically inventing original species #because at that point whats the point #but thats something to file away for later use #meliae! thats the name i had to look it up again

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queen-asante · 7 years ago

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ejucated immigrant

((AUTHOR’S NOTE: @eene-fangirl For the Fanfiction Weekend Challenge! I should probably wait to post this for Rolf Appreciation Month, but there’s a lot of Jonny backstory/headcanons in here, so I thought it would count. Basically, it’s a poem from Rolf’s POV but it’s technically about Jonny, or rather, Jonny was my muse for this.

I haven’t written a poem in Rolf’s ‘’voice’’ since 2014 but believe it or not, that one little line that Edd says in ‘’A Case of Ed’’ inspired the poem (you know, the one), and as I was reading Ntozake Shange’s for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf, it produced said result. A turnip for your thoughts? I don’t normally write Rolf like this, it’s actually more like Rolf emulating Ntozake Shange for those familiar with her style. As an Indian Immigrant girl who’s considered suicide, that book changed my life, she’s my idol. Hence, the poem is written in ebonics and all lower case to pay homage to Shange (and I consciously dropped third person redundancies, it wasn’t a mistake). Three non-EEnE characters are briefly mentioned: the first one is Vanessa, my friend who’s half African-American and half Haitian. The second one is Ice, who belongs to my friend, Dani. Ice, in her world, is a black and white cat who becomes Double D’s pet. Rolf fears him because he’s not only black and white, but he shares the name of Immigration and Customs Enforcement by pure coincidence. Dani didn’t plan this, as she created Ice before she met me but she liked the idea of giving Rolf a reason to fear the cat, and so we came up with that story together. The third one is Dr. Feelgood who was my therapist, it’s not her real name, it was an affectionate nickname I coined for her in my years battling Bipolar Disorder Type 3.

As a closing thought, much apologies for the length, also tumblr’s going to mess up the format.))

‘’ejucated immigrant’’

dear gods,

i be 14 wit skin as rough as treebark & hands dat look old

i waz the dark skined immigrant wanting to bathe in bleach

Brown Black / Blue Black / Amber Beige / Bister Brick Bronze / Chestnut Chocolate Cinnamin

Copper / Drab / Dust / Ginger / Fawn / Ochre / Coffe Colourd Caramel

Tawny / Terra-Cotta / Henna / Sepia / Umbre

lookin in the thesurus eddward wit two ds give me when i come to dis country

everything spell Brown but nothing spell White

White sound nice like pearl like snow like milk like golden skined white skined light skined

honey dipped / lemon kissed / but begging for ivory / fair frosted silvery ashen boy jimmy

your white hands on my brown skin

i waz the dark skined immigrant botherin to drag you round

you stand there like a closed mouth statue & you insult my way of life

think you know everythin / rolf just some ignorant third world peasant or somethin

but we be livin dis way longer than the foundin of your land

your country young my country old

numbers & poppy / it just to give you illegitimately born breeds of donkeys

somethin to hee-haw over / science say there no gods either but who know dat

you cannot contain lightning bugs in a jar

i waz the dark skined immigrant dreamin of shakin the mr presidents hand

the former mr president wit eyes like a tired old man & Brown his Brown like a mud bath

it really too bad you know / rolf like your former president

dat black man who dont check dixtionaries for validation of his blackness

he not so bad / he waz sympathetic to the plight of the immigrant but his hands tied

not blame him / he not god he not have all the power in the world to fix dis weather

dis cloud dat hang over your land & who the hell is perfect?

it really such a shame / i dream to see the Hill / see the pearly house painted white the place where he live meet him shake his large brown hand / one brown hand to another

cept i not black / rolf not have to be / not pass / rolf european he is white not bloodless

he not pass he not be white enough for your country

cept i be white on the inside look coloured on the out but i aint no coloured

under my skin i am more than a colour

whoever herd of white passing for person of colour

but suddenly i get to dis country & i be treated no different than jonny

so alls i got is coloured dreams

poor grate nano lived & died on silly dreams / well they not exist

there be only reality & reality not kind to the dark skined indigenous immigrant

no one know what i supposed to be / take a wild guess

indian pakistani mexican romani rolf herd it all & none suppose right

they only looking at my face / the outside the outside not matter

cuz i waz the dark skined immigrant not italian not irish but the other kinds

& no one will see unless rolf cut open his veins & bleed

a Wood Nymph have my colour & if i check off the box dat say caucasian i get a funny look

from the lady sittin behind the counter wit the yellow nail polish & beaded eyeglass

spose if jonny do the same they wont believe him neither

jonny be good

yous see him dancin / wearin his stomach out / dark skined bare feet / swayin his hips

& grate thin arms but he not care dat he gots splinters in his fingertips

his nails turnin all black & blue & those chapped lips look like eyes starin out atchu

the gods make dis child the way he is

wit skinted knees & all & elbows pointed outwards readin you like a map

always wit the label on the left side

but he bootiful & he know it / beauty sometime come in the empty coffee can

not in the paper lillies or plastic pearls

you cant make a silk purse from a sows ear / even if dat ear be made of wood

of wood widda crayon drawn smile

jonnys mother the madwoman in the attic

rolf be certain jonny the wood boy some kind of elf from the passage of Valhöll

the mother of the Tree Sprite she not like rolf / well she not like any child it seems

weepy jimmy-boy & rolf invited to jonny-boys abode for a meeting of the Urban Rangers

& tho his mother never says so we feel she not like us very well

she never ast us to stay for lunch

even tho rolf personally would not eat a morsel of what these people eat

& we always been so polite to her but still she build walls

rolf believe she jealous of us becuz jonny likes us

she come out to the parlour / barefoot / flowers in her wild tangled mess of black raven hair

like yoko ono & wearing a long paisley skirt / she bootiful in an earthy sort of way

but she has a wild look in her eyes like a tigress

a violently insane expression like a german vampire dat make rolf think of bertha mason

she looms over her son like a dark older sister becuz they look so alike

altho her skin much darker / a deep chocolate brown / her complexion remind rolf of vanessa maybe she is haitian / she like the demon in nanas stories the one we all have widdin us

who comes out when we try too hard to be good children

she look at white as snow jimmy & myself like she disprove

either she not like us the uniforms or both

rolf forget tho these hippies wit their anti-establishment

they think every uniform represents what jonny calls ‘’the Man’’ & dats what it is rolf think

she not want jonny in the organisation

becuz she think it goes against their opposition to social norms

rolf could tell she wanted to ast us to leave / she not like jonny spending so much time wit us

becuz then he not at home meditating wit her or whatever it is they do

jonnys family is strange / they not eat meat & walk around shoeless

rolf has been called a gypsy by the children at school but flower child jonny seem to rolf more of a gypsy if there ever waz such a thing

he is almost ethereal / his family must be from a clan of faeries the kind nana warns rolf about but brown-skinned jonny seem harmless enough

i watch his mama put a daisy in the pocket of his jeans

i not know if his daddy be white or black but what difference does dat make

rolf understand it is important for a child to love their family no matter their faults

i know The Giving Tree still love his mother

even if she would prefer him to leave the Urban Rangers

of us three jimmy be the whitest of white jonny the blackest of black & i somewhere in between

but any one of us can walk into a puerto rican bar & start speakin spanish

& no one would know what we are

race too complicated & people too narrow minded / want everything boxed in

one day we waz layin on dat grassy knoll / jonny & i

where the trees whisper to us & we whisper back

cuz you know the boy talk to trees & i listen to his voice / & i be lookin at our hands you see

cuz we waz layin inches apart a flower between us & i tuck it behind his ear

then i look & see my skin only one shade lighter than his

tho the sun make me browner than i really be

out in the sun for hours & hours plowing & plowing the fields

by sundown i roasted coffee bean brown / as black as the inside of a chimney

& if i stumble into town any passing stranger would think i waz Black i mean African

id have to stay out of the sun for days to get my old colour black lest i wander round wit only the whites of my eyes visible on my sun burnt dyed rust brown brown skin

& hair so course youd suppose it come off a horses ass

lookin more like an American Indian than a White

i holdin the back of my hand up to jonnys now

how bout dat two brown hands one dark & one light but whos to say i not be a dark white & he not a light skined brown

dont you dare tell me what i am & am not

bitch dis aint no south africa where yous all can reassign us based on what you think

i aint no sandra laing but sometime i wouldnt mind bein black if it meant for you to leave me be

in fact ill gladly be whatever you want me to be but i am what i am

not black enough for black not white enough for white so what am i?

dont box me into Black & White / cuz in dis world brother dat not exist

im sorry as hell but i gettin real tired of bein called

an illegal / an alien / a wop / a gypsy / a guinea / a brownie whatever you want to call us

all your bigoted slurs clumping us together like we one & the same

dat fine but papers or no papers not define who i am

so uncle sam can take it & shove it

welcome to america!

i be having a long love affair wit your country & people

i also be having a war wit em

mama told me there are limits for dark skined immigrants stuck in dis light skined first world

we come over the border wit all the rest of them

wit all them people from central & south america

wit all them refugees from africa & asia

guess what we blend right in we look no different

look just like any other brown faced ‘’illegal alien’’

border patrol take one look at us & think we just like the rest

cuz yesterdays europeans are todays mexicans & middle easterners

coloured Sons of Shepherds gots few chances

what it like to be bilingual / to speak in two tounge

ah but to be fluent in one & not the other tryin to find any definishun in the dixtionary

in which i drop third person redunduncies cuz i only one person not three

& i only speak two language

you speak spanish?

no habla inglés

you speak english?

i dont speak spanish

one day the hat & head as one edd boy say oh rolf! youre so unejucated!

i think my ears deseeve me but i know what i herd

i wish to strike his milk honey cheeks full of nonsense

& say to him i am the ejucated immigrant you be warned about

dont talk to me bout ejucashun

i sale cross the oshun

i wash up on your shore

i lern another language

it wasnt easy

what you know bout ejucashun

all you know come from books & theories

at least i know where i stand

you are a child & i am old old old my hands notted thick wit veins like the roots of a tree

you say i sound angry / yea i angry but not as angry as you

cuz there nothing they fear more than a minority who knows what up

i used to be fraid but not no more

i used to fear the plainclothes agents in Black & White uniform

of immigration & customes enforecement / of ICE police

of eddwards Black & White cat name Ice on ICE

he must be making fool out of me to call a domesticated beast after homeland security

a cat in uniform because the gods make him so not by choice

like there be some purpose to it / i waz the dark skined immigrant you made fun of

i see what they do to the undocumented immigrant on the telly

but now i not be fraid / becuz you cant touch me

so the grapefruit widda red ugly mouth & bleached hair sit in office now

damming all them people from ‘’shithole countries’’ / just as well but we here to stay

it not what i ast for but no use fighting it

& i will gladly pull the bookmarks from my english dixtionary

the one double d edd boy give me

no longer will i bathe in bleach / only use to washing dishes & floors

i not some bloody floor

‘’immigrant’’

at least i can spell dat / i look it up in the dixtionary

websters dixtionary / who the hell is webster?

but now it marked up used copy wit yellow post it notes

i use it a lot to lern your tounge

i not smart but i sho as hell not unejucated / papa can tell me dat

i be in your country in first place to reseeve ‘’best ejucashun’’ like grate nano wanted

grate nano waz an adventurer / a dreamer wit big goals

he travell far & wide seeking fame & fortune

when he a very young boy immigrants from every cesspool in western & eastern europe set sale for The North / it waz always grate nanos dream to travel North

everyone say he more insane than a bovine wit mad cows disease

there no room in dis life for dreams they tell him / he prove our village wrong

when rolf eight years of age grate nano briefly left the Old Country to set sale for america

everyone say he be too old / he never too old for dreams

he wanted to find dat American Dream he hear so often about

spoken wit fondness by the tinkers who visit our land

he returned from his valiant voyage wit stories about what he seen

in the North he said everyone has cars & money & television & running water

no one listen / The North the North they say dat is all you ever talk about

he waz a man who dreamed of a new life for his family & so he decided to send for us

& make a better life for ourselves after the plagues of the land had haunted our family for years grate nano promised us america he said youll soon be eating apple pie from off a china plate white picket fence / coca cola / santa clause / marilyn monroe / empire state building

it sound like a fairytale he spun a legend dat the streets waz paved wit gold

& we believed him for shining in grate nanos eye waz a dream & so here we are

rest his soul he wanted so much to buy us light & sun & clean wind of the oshun

‘’immigrant’’ waz a new word for rolf when he first come here

did not know after hearing the stories from grate nano dat he would soon be one himself

rolf not know what dat mean & still really dont

the dixtionary definishun say \ ˈi-mə-grənt \ noun. a person who comes to a country to take up permanent residence

\ ˈi-mə-ˌgrāt \ verb. [to go or remove into; in, into, and migrate, to remove.]

to come into a new country, region, or environment in order to settle there: opposed to emigrate.

oh sorry dat definishun not say we unclean people / flea invested vermin

sickly serpents who not speak english / greaser / sheenie

contagions of american society / incredibly dirty tramps fresh off the boat

so pervasive / such nonwhite filth / staring back at pitch black faces

not blonde haired & blue eyed / nonwhite skin only fit for dirt & waste work

mama papa kiss me goodbye i going to haiti

but it is what rolf is now it part of his identity just as much as the colour of his skin

just as much as bein a pagan / just as much as bein a male

just as much as bein the Son of a Shepherd

now rolf a new man living in the New World

i am an immigrant

sometime i wish i waz shug avery / bootiful fictional dark skin harlem singer

half man half woman / wit my large glittering masculine thighs i make an animal of men

maybe i have the courtesan complex

so i ast dr feelgood what my diag-nonsense

& she say poor soul you suffer from Stressed Shepherd Syndrome

okay so we all crazy in one way or another / it alright for some

of a mannequin in tears / of personal prejudices

im an unejucated farm boy from No Mans Land

im a poet who write in english

neisatnaf i isatnaf ne / ttim tetrejh dem gnyalp re lesgnel og gem tolrof nuh

rettenremmos i sirb ne mos rav ed / gem etlatrof nuh dro retsem nadrovh

etted tal eddejks rofrovh? / enneh lit gem trekided gej og enneh teksnø etrejh ttim

senneh enenyoø ås gej etted tla eddejks rofrovh

& this is for Sons of Shepherds who have considered suicide

fin

#my writing #poetry #poem #eene #ed edd n eddy #jonny #jonny 2x4 #rolf #jonny appreciation month

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this-divine-intervention · 7 years ago

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Deep Breaths*

OHHHH BOYYY!!! So its time for another characteristic long rant by yours truly except this is probably going to be one of the last ones I do on WoW because I will be exiting the game likely forever after Antorus is done. Its time to talk about Teldrassil. Fair warning, this is logistic heavy and lore heavy, and I sound super fucking bitter because I am.

So the renewal of the faction war is ass, and makes about zero sense logistically/storyline wise. Anyone smart knows that. Both the Alliance and Horde have just finished fighting an inter dimensional war with the Legion, and exhausted massive military and civilian resources to make it happen. Even with help from the “new factions” the brunt of the war effort was still being backed by alliance/horde races. By the end of this war there is about zero realistic explanation for either group wanting to go to war that makes sense.

They DONT have the resources, both groups are sick as hell of fighting because of the past three campaigns, (that have ravaged the world and its peoples) and while many are angry about the perceived slight by Sylvannas with Varian, that alone is not a good enough reason to start a war. Furthermore there is literally no way that some kind of communication wouldn't have happened that clarified what actually occurred over the course of the Legion war. Finally, Anduin is now king. He has hated this faction conflict from the beginning and he is smart enough to pursue peace and rebuilding rather than an ass genocidal war that neither side is ever going to actually win. This pushing of him actually going along with attacking the horde after Legion, is basically nullifying a defining characteristic of how we’ve been taught to see him. He was going to be a better king precisely BECAUSE he was done with the faction war.

Teldrassil. Alright so the Night Elf nation has controlled and been fully entrenched in northwestern/southwestern Kalimdor for over 30′000 years. The night elves possess immensely powerful magics that dwarf half the races in the game, including arcanists/magi and arguably the strongest druids ever known. Their entire civilization is deeply connected on a spiritual and physical level to the continent itself and is literally part of the very ecosystems that function in those areas of Kalimdor. Nature ITSELF responds when they go to war or are attacked. Furthermore the vast majority of Worgen live amongst the night elves with huge amounts of them now part of the sentinels and druidic forces. The sentinels themselves are the most highly trained mass fighting force of any race in the alliance with the women that make up its ranks generally being several centuries in age (minus the worgen additions). The Azure Isles are also directly across from the island/tree of Teldrassil. Which means any offensive the Night Elves face is directly backed by their close allies, the Draenei. If legion is any indication, the draenei are several times more powerful than ANYONE ever gave them credit for.

There are two small mountain ranges separating Night Elven lands from horde lands with the passes being tightly controlled and guarded, Mount Hyjal itself also blocks any major land access routes to Teldrassil, and is protected by some of the most powerful ancients/wards that exist in Kalimdor. Garrosh during his genocidal barbaric regime invaded ashenvale, and southwestern Kalimdor in order to destroy the night elves presence for good (see total genocide). As we know, this failed spectacularly in the long run. The elves and their allies in Kalimdor held off this invasion with token assistance from the eastern kingdoms. Let me clarify. They faced the brunt of the ENTIRE horde and not only survived, but defeated the invasion with heavy losses on both sides. The horde has tried a land invasion before, and it failed. It also nearly alienated the Tauren from the horde because of how destructive the horde was to nature, and to the night elves who even across faction lines the tauren have very deep ties to. There is no way in hell they would have allowed Teldrassil to burn even IF they got close enough to do it. They respect nature and life as much as the Night Elves do.

Darnassus. Teldrassil itself is connected to the emerald dream, been blessed by two aspects, and also been purified. It is a bastion of nature and the new center of night elven culture. Darnassus is heavily defended by ancients, advanced siege weapons, countless sentinel squadrons, and literally nature itself in the forms of treants, keepers, dryads, and the literal tree rising to defend itself. The night elven navy is fast, massive, and advanced with the only comparable one being that of Kultiras. Both Teldrassil and the fortress city of Feathermoon being protected by it.

The horde logistically and literally has never been able to successfully push en mass to Teldrassil EVER. Which makes sense seeing as the elves have been there for over 30′000 years and are entrenched just as significantly. Based on lore, what we know/have seen of the night elven nation, etc there is no logical explanation that could remove them/destroy Teldrassil.

Meanwhile Lordareon has only been around centuries, and has changed hands so many times in the recent past that the only amount of significant entrenchment the forsaken actually have there is the undercity. They have other holdings all over the country obviously, but entrenchment even remotely comparable to the night elves? No, just in the undercity. What this means is that is indeed possible for the alliance to actually take Lordareon. Again though, war still makes zero sense after legion.

Finally this isnt even CLOSE to an equal loss on both sides. The forsaken dont care about things like culture and society. They care about winning, serving their banshee queen, and power. Period, with few exceptions. The night elves on the other hand have been the most continuous presence in Kalimdor since the sundering. It is everything that they are. It is part of them, and they are part of Kalimdor. The forsaken lose a city they can remake somewhere else with little long lasting effects to them aside from resources and angst/anger. The Night Elves are losing the soul of their culture, and it is assumed THEIR ENTIRE NATION which is twice the size of Lordareon. The ecosystems present are also deeply connected to them and uprooting the night elves would literally crash the biosphere of half of Kalimdor almost overnight. Which again, the Tauren would understand and advise/literally fight against.

No other race has as much right to Kalimdor as the Night Elves with perhaps the exception of the Tauren. Period. Blizzard is spitting in the face of logic, deleting their own lore, and creating conflicts and mediocre storyline where there wouldnt be any to satisfy what this game/community at large has become. A polarized mess of largely white straight nerds who dont care about lore, good writing, or the meaning behind any of it. They just want to bash each other/monsters with magic and arrows. Screw it if the soul of the game dies in the process as long as Blizzard makes bank, and gets the profit margins they want. It doesnt matter if the game has devolved/will devolve into a toxic mess of immature pro-violence asshats.

Im done. Im taking my money somewhere else where characters and story actually matter.

#Teldrassil #WoW #gaming #Blizzard #rant #long post #fantasy #battle for azeroth #Im so dissapointed #and horrified #Ive been following this series since I was a kid #and they are butchering it

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diamondnokouzai · 7 years ago

Text

oc master post for the earlier anon

long under the cut

BERNARD

bernard is the fourth child (2x twins) of a farmer.. his father and twin sister died in a hunting accident when he was three,

the first set of twins were aasimar, and 6 years older than bernard and his twin sister georgia. they both left when bernard was 6, but not before teaching him celestial

so he grew up with only his mother. his mother went through a lot of stuff after that, which resulted in, in order,

half-elf triplets (two girls and a boy) (misky (f) tayze (f) and beauregard (m))

a gold dragonborn foster child (cotalla)

a half-drow son (drixben)

tiefling twins (a girl and a boy) (diana (f) and johann (m))

a halfling stepchild (jessie, but theyre the same age as the triplets)

a half-orc daughter (tarora)

these kids didnt start coming around until bernard was six. so bernard’s mom (molly) had nine children over the course of nine and a half years, and then when bernard is sixteen, his mother dies because of a terrible illness. so now heres bernard, who had a steady boyfriend, and now bernard has nine children, all under the age of ten, two are under the age of five, and he just. he cant be dating right now. so instead, he joins the guards of sarenrae (essentially the army, bc bernard’s country is devoted to sarenrae) because the guards get a good pay and their children get a good education

(the thing is, though, bernard’s mother died surrounded by all of her children except for bernard, who only stepped away for a minute to get her a glass of water and she died while he was gone, and thats. thats the worst thing that’s ever happened to bernard)

so youve got bernard, who is quite possibly the kindest, sweetest guy in the world, hes a paladin of sarenrae, and every week he drags in his nine siblings to services, usually carrying five or six of them with the other three or four on toddler leashes so they dont wander off.

so bernard is just, doing the best he can, and five years after he joins the guard, he gets called away to go to war. hes got nine kids to take care of, only three are old enough to take care of the others, but misky, tayze, and beauregard are all much less trustworthy than bernard. they arent bad kids, by any mean, because they were raised by molly, who was the nicest woman in the world, and bernard, who is the nicest man in the world, so these are pretty nice kids. in game theyre considered to be chaotic good, but like. misky and beauregard arent above pickpocketing to survive, and tayze will only do things for his family.

bernard still goes, because bernard believes in sarenrae and believes in fighting the good fight. so he leaves the farm in the hands of the triplets and jessie, and after giving every single one of his kids a hug and a kiss, he goes out to fight the war. hes gone for three years.

when he comes back, tayze and misky are gone. all that beau and jessie will tell him is that the two of them are out on the ocean

(tayze and misky are pirates. they have shifted to chaotic evil and chaotic neutral, respectively. they make a good profit, and bernard’s hometown is fairly far inland, so they arent at great risk when they go home to visit, which they do once a year. they take tarora and the twins on a tour of the ship once and let them pretend to be part of the navy of sarenrae, even though the ship is very obviously a pirate ship.)

so now bernard is twenty-four, beau and jessie are eighteen. beau is terrible at farming, and he really doesnt like to do it, so beau moves to the middle of the nearest city and joins the thieves guild there. he does it on the DL tho bc bernard does not, precisely, approve of thievery. he tells bernard that he studies from the school of summoning (bc he summons things from other peoples pockets into his hands, and bc he makes things disappear) so bernard is very proud of beau. beau is proud of himself too, but he keeps lying about being a thief because bernard’s Disappointed look is a terrible thing to suffer. beau also has some fun with bands of roving thieves that try to attack the farm, because beau can use a scimitar like no ones business

jessie goes kind of the complete opposite direction. they leave the farm and head into the nearby woods, and they keep going north. they get to the northernmost part of the continent, and they just start. living there. so they become an ice druid, and they also get a moose companion that they name afeeha. jessie comes back south every so often, shows tarora and the twins how he can polymorph into a snowy owl. bernard is VERY proud of jessie for following his heart, and jessie is all ‘yes yes thank you, how are tayze misky and beau?’ because he is the ONLY one that knows everybodys secrets and he uses that to his distinct advantage

cotalla is fifteen at this point, and they go to a nearby city (not a big city or anything) and they join the bardic college there. they are very good at singing and playing the lute and other string instruments, but cannot play a wind instrument for the life of them. so cotalla becomes a bard of kord (the fightin’ god) and essentially, what that entails is cotalla sings a shitload of battle songs with the guards of sarenrae, and then gets nasty when the fighting gets to them. bernard is SO proud of cotalla, because cotalla kiiiiiiiiind of technically joined the military? and he really loves the guards of sarenrae, who helped give all his siblings basic education, so hes real proud that cotalla joined.

drixben, at this point, is thirteen, which is a bit young, honestly, for him to go to any college. he doesnt, really, actually, want to do much of anything. he visits beau sometimes, who is lying to everyone about being a wizard, so beau invites his warlock gf and bf over and lets them teach drixben about magic. this is a terrible idea, actually, because drixben kiiiiiiiind of sort of becomes a warlock. which, if you done know, is, like, he made a contract with an ancient bestial terror.

so beau and drixben are like, ‘okay, this is a Secret From Bernard’ (its mostly beau because he kind of ruined drixben, even though bernard would still love both of them) so now drixben has warlock powers but he doesnt really ever use them. so now drixben is kind of having. problems. with his powers.

diana and johann (yo-hahn, yes these two and bernard are the only ones in the world with normal names) are nine years old. so they dont do much. u know. they still have to go with bernard wherever he goes bc those two would definitely burn down the house if left alone

tarora is eight years old, and is kind of in the same boat as the twins. the thing everyone asks when they come back to visit bernard is ‘where are tarora and the twins’. at this point its tarora-and-the-twins as one word, and, honestly neither tarora nor the twins like that.

so you have

tayze, chaotic evil half-elf pirate (who loves her big brother to death)

misky, chaotic neutral half-elf pirate (who loves her brother but also is less mean than her sister)

beauregard, chaotic good half-elf rogue

jessie, true neutral halfling ice druid

cotalla, chaotic good dragonborn bard

drixben, neutral good half-drow warlock

diana, ??? tiefling

johann, ??? tiefling

tarora, ??? half-orc

bernard is very satisfied with his life. however, its at this point that the current king, who was a SUPER good dude, dies and gets replaced. not by his daughter, who was a super awesome girl, but by his sister in law, who is not so phenomenal. she kind of ruins the country, and the guards of sarenrae TECHNICALLY serve the goddess sarenrae, so theyre like, i will not serve you. and the new queen is like, i will not force you. and then she takes their families captive and is like, but i recommend you do because otherwise your families will die.

the queen does not manage to nab all nine of bernard’s siblings. she does nab tarora, diana, johann, and drixben, whereas jessie is too much trouble to get, beau is too damned sneaky, misky and tayze are already technically wanted by the crown (but they use stage names, at first because they didnt want bernard to know about how bad they were being, but now theyre like ‘yes!! we knew this would happen we are so smart’), cotalla is actually in a foreign country fighting a war, and then when the war is over, theyre like ‘no thanks’ and they just. dont come back.

so bernard leaves the farm. he puts his ex in charge and now hes traveling the country, searching for his family. hes no longer part of the guards of sarenrae, but he still considers himself a paladin, except he hates the government.

so anyway thats bernard and i love him.

ZYRICK

zyrick is a huma bard and he is 19. he was sold by his human noble grandfather (one Ryxal Corriendone) at the age of two in order for the corriendone family to escape their debts. however, zyrick’s twin sister zyra (zigh-ra vs zee-rick) was kept with her family. zyrick was sold to the master of a massive slave gladiator pit, known as Mr. Zalfroc. zyrick first became eligible for the fights at the age of 10, but managed to avoid the worst opponents by means of his skill with musical instruments. zyrick thus spent the majority of his time in the pits as a side attraction rather than a fighter, although he did not completely escape from the fights.

at the age of 17, zyrick finally ran away from the pits and mr. zalfroc in an effort to both find his family and to. well. yknow. escape the fucking gladiator pits.

after spending 15 years in an underground gladiator arena, zyrick kinda sorta hates nobles with all the hate in his body. both because mr. zalfroc constantly reminded him of what his family did, and also because of what he saw of nobles in the pits. he works REALLY REALLY hard to move past it though, because he wants to meet his family and he wants to know whats up with them and to tell them that he forgives them.

but he doesnt really know? where it is? and so he just wanders around, staying far away from mr. zalfroc’s circle of influence, and then some girl (who looks too much like him) runs up to him, with a bunch of her allies with her because shes got her own adventuring party, and she explains that she is zyra corriendone the second and that hes her twin brother, and he kinda gets tugged along with this girl to the corriendone estate, and its kind of a spooky affair, with zyra the second and zra the first (their mother) and ryxal corriendone, and their mother is a little lost after the trauma of losing her son, and ryxal is a little lost because hes old, but they both come into it when zyrick enters the estate.

and zyra i explains that hes her son, her beloved son, and then theres drama with ryxal and zyrick runs because he does NOT trust angry adult men. and zyra runs after him, and tries to explain that everythings alright, that he can live with them now and they can be family now, but then zyrick just explodes with all his anger. “they fucking kept you, zyra, but i wasnt fucking good enough. they took me away from my mother and my father- do i even fucking have a father? no, i fucking doubt it- but they kept you, they loved you, you got to grow up in this fancy fucking house reading your fucking books and taking fucking music lessons and praying to fucking pelor once a fucking week and wearing your stupid fucking pretty fancy clothes. and guess how i grew up? i fucking killed people, ive killed people and i bet youve never so much as gotten a fucking hangnail. i taught myself everything i fucking know and i clawed myself up from the mud more than once and i saw the worst fucking parts of you people, and i hate it. and you can never make me be one of you. im not a fucking blueblood.” and he runs.

and thats not really fair, because zyra ii has her own issues with growing up, but zyrick doesnt care about being fair when hes talking to his silver spoon sister.

zyrick very much puts up an airheaded, kinda stupid/floaty/happy-go-lucky personality, but rest assured: he is thinking about murdering you. every soft half-smile and chord strummed on his lute? thats him stabbing you in his mind. and he will kill you with great pleasure.

JYNXLUCK

jynxluck is a young-ish drow warlock and shes absolutely nuts. i mean off her fuckin rocker. mostly thats because she was kidnapped from her village by ghaunadaur-worshipping elves who decided to torture her into seeing visions of the future because of the drows rumored genetic dark magic. and then one day she woke up in captivity and discovered all of the elves were dead, and shes now on a quest to find whoever did that and thank them graciously. she is also chaotic evil and does everything in her power to make her visions come true. this often backfires.

jynxluck is chaotic evil, as opposed to bernard being lawful good and zyrick being chaotic good.

also jynxluck does not lie. shes kind of a fae creature in that trickery and wordplay is fine but lying? lying is uncool and the worst. but she will kill people when she thinks things are going badly. she is c-r-a-z-y. but no lying also means that jynxluck WILL tell you what she thinks of you. shes like a much worse-organized GLaDOS.

oh also she hates all wood elves and take a guess why.

#.aphelion #.txt #dnd

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