#for the last 2 1/2 years ive had my life on hold

[wild-puffball]

If I don't get this disability I think I'll just straight up die

[databent]

my mystery illness hurting me -_-

[itsalwaysdark]

itis very funny i post so much abt myself but i dont actually post that much abt what goes on day to day . mainly bc there isnt much but like. u guys arent even aware of mine and lamps current music phase .. crazy

[strawberries-and-racing]

i wanna be yours - mv1

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader

requests that came together and inspired this series:

• nsfw prompts 9-13 (in pt. 2)

• 'listen up. Obsessive possessive crazy max for sweet innocent reader smut.'

• 'ok so we need dark FICS of any driver of your choice but make him very obsessive and possessive and don't forget the smut. Keep it up girlllll!!!'

summary: a lot of tension building between possessive max and sweet y/n.

warnings: alcohol consumption, fluff, slightly crazy max, some cliches (im sorry!) also the title is based off the arctic monkeys song because i felt like the vibes matched also i love arctic monkeys💕

a/n: screaming once again!!! this is the first fluff ive posted and it's part 1/2. the next part has the smut as promised but i wanted to take my time and build this up please enjoy🙏

the flight to the UK was long, but well worth it. two months ago you'd been offered an unbelievable opportunity.

an opportunity you'd been dreaming of for years, one you'd spent what felt like an eternity working towards— an engineering internship. not just any internship, one with the red bull formula one team.

you'd be able to travel with the team, shadow the engineers, help with various tasks around the paddock, and design parts at hq. an absolute dream.

after scouring a thousand real estate websites, you'd finally found the perfect place for to live.

a little 1 bed 1 bath apartment, tucked into a beautiful, quaint little neighbourhood. just 30 mins to the red bull hq.

you'd dedicated many late nights and ikea shopping trips to making the apartment your own. your comfortable escape from the grueling hours of studying and pressures of the internship.

you led a busy life, but it never bothered you. you adored what you did and formula one had been your passion since you were a little girl.

and now everything was falling into place. in fact, tommorrow you'd leave to attend your first race with the team. austria. red bulls home race.

you were ecstatic to say the least.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you hurriedly made your way through the paddock and into the red bull garage. your eyes glued to the schedule on top of the pile of papers in your arms.

you were on your way to assist one of the senior engineers in preparation before the race began.

you were nervous, and it was no help that you weren't exactly sure where you were supposed to be meeting him.

suddenly, you stumble over your own feet and bump into someone.

you feel hands on your shoulders, their grasp firm, steadying you.

you look up and are taken aback by the pair of strikingly blue eyes staring back at you. his eyes were the kind of crystal blue that would capture anyones attention. but despite their bright colour, they had a sort of inexplicable depth, darkness to them.

there was something in his expression that you couldn't quite read. something stirring beneath the surface of his icy gaze. it was as though he wasn't just looking at you, but into you.

you abruptly become aware of his hands, still on your shoulders. you're so oddly aware of them, as if it's your first time being touched by anyone.

he holds you firmly, as if trying to hold you together. the moment seemed to last forever. the two of you frozen in time.

a stranger's eye contact and touch shouldn't be affecting you in this way.

"you okay?"

it's only once he speaks that you realize who the man standing in front of you is.

your eyes widen, cheeks flushing. you straighten up quickly, mouth slightly agape.

"oh'" you start, at a loss for words "yeah, im sorry." you manage a small smile.

you straighten up an take a step backwards, pulling away from his grasp. you miss the warmth of his hands more than you'd ever like to admit.

"it's okay, no worries," his eyes linger on you a moment longer before you both go your separate ways.

as you walk away, you cant help but glance back at him.

max verstappen.

you'd certainly heard him speak before on tv, but something about his accent in person was enchanting. his energy seemed to linger on you like perfume.

everything about him caught your attention, long before you'd bumped into him in person.

you'd seen his dominance on track, it was impossible not to notice. he could control the car like no other driver, handling each corner perfectly. he pushed the car to the limit every race and it payed off.

it wasn't just his driving you noticed. his persona. it was everything. and you couldn't ignore the fact that it was sexy.

his short temper, his tendency to snap easily.

it was unreasonably and indescribably attractive.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

the next time you see him he's across the room. you're studying the notes that the senior engineer gave you, papers and writing utensils spread across the table in front of you.

he was discussing something with his race engineer, he certainly wasn't doing anything that was particularly interesting or peculiar, he wasn't even looking in your direction. but for fucks sake you were distracted. you were somehow absorbed by his prescence.

ever since bumping into him you couldn't seem to get him out of your head. last night you'd replayed the memory over and over in your mind, finding it more difficult than usual to fall asleep.

all day, you'd silently prayed you would bump into eachother again. your relentless efforts to push your thoughts and feelings to the back of your mind were useless.

the mere idea of him was addictive, so alluring. he was drug-like to you and impossible to ignore.

although it was unknown to you at the time, max had found himself similarly hooked on you. or rather, the thought of you. even though he found enough strength to avoid looking at you, he was well aware of you. sitting at the table in the furthest corner. he was even more aware of the fact that your eyes kept flickering in his direction.

your energy was unlike anything he had ever known. you walked around with an aura of pure innocence. yet you seemed untouchable.

your smile shone. your laugh was contagious. you radiated sunshine. max had come to know these things about you.

you were magnetic in such a way that made him curious.

it stirred something inexplicable inside him. like you were another thing for him to win, to claim. another thing for him to dominant. to corrupt.

your innocence was tangible. and max wanted to be the one to wreck you. it was all he thought about.

ruining you.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

the light in your apartment was soft. that's how you preferred it.

you relished your alone time. your small apartment was tailored exactly to you. it was always where you felt perfectly safe and at ease.

light from the sunset was just beginning to spill through your windows. you're stirring a big pot of soup on the stove with lazy motions.

a buzz from your phone catches your attention, the screen lights up and you see a new message. it's from andrew, one of the young engineers at red bull who you'd grown close with over the past few months.

your eyes widen upon reading the message.

a dinner with drivers? you couldn't deny that it sounded exciting.

but then again, you were already in your pajamas and the soup was beginning to steam.

you suck in a breath.

fuck.

the three letters of his name were more than enough to change your answer.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you spent half your time getting ready frantically choosing an outfit.

finally, you'd settled on your favorite black dress. your hair fell over your shoulders in soft curls left over from the day before.

now, you were standing outside the restaurant. you take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves.

you walk in and the hostess greets you with a friendly smile. you're led to a booth connected to a big table that's only half full.

andrew waves you over and you take a seat next to him in the booth. lando sits across from you.

youd never spoken with lando outside of strictly professional context and you were pleasantly surprised by his charming humor. you're engrossed in the conversation with the two boys as the rest of the group fills the table. you look up to greet the others.

your breath hitches when you see him. his eyes stare into yours with the same intensity as they had two days ago. you don't break the eye contact until he sits down and a dark haired boy you've never seen before calls his name.

despite the abrupt rush of blood to your head, you manage to hold up the conversation with lando.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

max couldn't keep his eyes off you for long, and the longer he watched the tighter his grip got on his glass, until his knuckles turned white. he was so focused on you laughing and smiling with lando that he didn't pick up on the way you fidgeted with your ring. a nervous tell.

max clenched his jaw as you leaned in close to something lando said. far closer than what many would deem an action between two casual friends. your giggles and blushing and landos knowing smirk and your hand jokingly smacking his arm made max see red.

"you alright, mate?"

"im fine."

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

as the night goes on and the chatter and laughter get louder, people begin shuffling around, moving to talk with new people.

lando is called over to a different group of friends and andrew leaves with him, leaving you alone in the booth.

"having fun?"

you recognize his voice immediately, sense his burning presence as he slides into the booth, sitting next to you.

"yeah." you manage a smile. "the food was really good."

"that's good." he says, briefly glancing away. your eyes involuntarily trace over the tendons of his neck.

he was wearing a dark button down, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. simple, but ridiculously sexy.

he turns his eyes back onto you. "i didn't know you were gonna be here."

"oh i—" you hesitate for a second, his eyes making your heart skip a beat.

"andrew invited me." you explained, turning slightly so you could face him.

"mm, so are you..." he gestures between you and andrew a few seats down, you know what hes asking.

"oh no, we're just friends." you toy with the edge of your napkin.

it was a bold topic to bring up during a first conversation to say the least, but it didn't feel weird. there wasn't the usual tension, usual coldness that typically came with talking to someone for the first time. it was comfortable, you were able to relax a little.

"hm." is all max answers with. he spreads his legs slightly and pushes his hips forwards, getting comfortable. his leg brushing against yours.

the casual action had your heart thrumming in your ears, beating so loudly you're worried he can hear it.

you swallow, having to glance away. you feel your cheeks turning red.

why max verstappen had such an intense effect on you was still a mystery.

"so um—" you start, trying to make some small talk that would distract you from his arm that now rested on the ledge behind you. you take a breath, composing yourself before speaking. "how often do you guys do this kind of thing?"

he shifted again, his leg touching yours, but he doesn't pull it away this time. the knot of nerves in your stomach tightened. you felt your face turn even redder. the physical contact made your body ache for more.

max smirked, his ego swelling as he saw the effect he had on you.

"once in a while, usually after a race." 

you nod, biting your lip.

"congratulations by the way." you say, it wasn't surprising he'd taken first yet again, but you said it anyways. you prayed he wasn't able to pick up on the way your words came out slightly shaky.

you wanted to do nothing more than relax into him, but with the way he was looking at you that proved to be impossible.

you took a sip of your wine, desperate to cool down as an unexpected surge of heat washed over you which lingered between your legs.

max was different than anyone you'd ever talked too before. he reminded you of nobody. his sense of humor was unique and hilarious.

as the conversation continued you grew immensely fond of the dutchman sitting beside you. although you were absorbed in the stories from his childhood he told you, you remained acutely aware of how close the two of you were now sitting.

max's night couldn't have been unfolding more perfectly. your body language made your thoughts and feelings painfully obvious.

he picked up on the way you blushed immensely at any slight touch from him. the way your pupils dilated as you stared at him. the goosebumps that spread across your chest when he complimented your dress.

but the loudness of the restaurant was a little too much for him. there were too many people here. he craved something more intimate, more private.

"do you wanna get out of here?"

you're caught off guard by his words.

the question was so cliche, yet coming from his mouth it made your heart throb.

"there's a beautiful view not too far from here," he continued, "we could walk?"

his voice was like velvet and he leaned in close, speaking in a low tone as if he didnt want anyone to hear except you.

by now, you're practically having heart palpitations. the pit in your stomach gapes wider.

it was already hard enough for you to keep your sanity intact with him while surrounded by other people. you honestly aren't sure if you could handle being out alone with him.

you nod slowly your head spinning, breathe quickening.

"oh, yeah i'd love that." your voice was unsteadt, yet enthusiastic.

without another word he starts getting up, but before he slips out of the booth he gently touches your leg with his hand, as if reassuring you.

his fingers may as well have been made of hot metal, his touch affected your entire body, his fingerprints burned into your skin.

you felt like a little kid with a crush as you gingerly got up and followed max out of the restaurant, butterflies in your stomach and in your mind.

you don't notice all the eyes on you two as you leave the restaurant, too caught up in the giddiness you were feeling. your own eyes too focused on max in front of you, more specifically on his back which looked so good in that damn shirt.

max, on the other hand, was well aware of all the eyes on him. he fought to keep his cocky grin at bay. there were at least 20 other people there, and out of everyone, you were leaving with him.

he opens the door and lets you by first.

"thank you," you say, the night air cooling your overheated body.

"of course."

amongst the ever present—extremely active— butterflies that fluttered in your stomach, you felt a twinge of genuine nervousness.

you realize that you had just left a restaurant, alone at night, with a guy you technically barely knew. was this safe?

it certainly felt safe. max felt nothing like a stranger.

your nervousness melted away once max fell into step beside you. you looked up at him, at those intense blue eyes.

you were walking so close your arms touched. you had the urge to reach out and take his hand, but of course you didn't.

so there you were, walking alongside max verstappen into the dark night, to see the promised beautiful view.

you'd only walked two blocks before max carefully took your hand in his, entwining his fingers with yours.

please let me know if you want to be tagged for pt.2 (this might end up being three parts)❤

[the-record]

kissing lessons: 3

synopsis: it was like she’d never left as you settled back into friendship, but how you wished there was more to it.

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: college!ellie x reader

warnings: nothing??

a/n: getting juicy now 😊😊

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“move in with me.”

was she crazy? you couldnt just move in with her.

“im sorry?”

ellie laughed, you looked at her like she was crazy. “move in with me! ive got an apartment like 10 minutes from here.”

“ellie, respectfully, i haven’t seen you for a decade, and you think im just gonna move in with you to an apartment ive never seen? that you don’t even live in?” you stood up, arms crossed over your chest and paced. “and, even if i wanted to, im still 17, i dont turn 18 until september. i cant just move out. my mom would, like, i don’t know… she’d probably call the police.”

ellie smiled was you through out every possibility under the sun. “she’d disown me. take back my car. she pays for it, not me. and i don’t know if my job even pays enough for me to pay rent.” your threw your hands in the air and finally saw ellie’s small laugh. “what are you laughing at?”

she shrugged, pulling you back down to her bed. “i don’t even move in until the end of september. and only someone who was considering it would come up with all that in two minutes.” she sighed when you rolled your eyes at her. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.”

“oh my god, shut up.” she watched you try to hide a smile.

ellie couldn’t help but wonder about you even as you sat in front of her. what did you love and what did you hate? what made you tick? did you remember everything she taught you in her old room? on the mattress you sat on now. how to kiss, and how to get cole or justin or whatever guy had a crush on you.

she wondered what you wanted to do in life. who you were friends with at school. if you wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss you. like old times.

your heads both turned as the street lights flicked on.

“i better get going.”

“stay for dinner.”

your voices overlapped before silence.

“okay.”

ellie smiled, getting up and holding a hand out to you. you took and she pulled you up but didn’t let go as she led you back downstairs.

god it was gonna be hard to be just friends.

“so,” joel sat down his fork and looked at you. “have you thought about college? where you wanna go? what you’d like to study.”

you nodded, copying joel and putting down your own fork. “yeah, i was planning to stay here actually. instate tuition and all that.” you took a sip of water before continuing. “i think i’d like to be a teacher? maybe. i just know i want to work with kids.”

“wouldn’t even have to learn about them, considering you are one,” ellie teased. you kicked her shin under the table. “ow, fuck.”

“ellie no cursing at the dinner table.” joel winked at you as ellie scoffed. “what’s happened since we’ve been gone?”

you sat back in your chair, thinking about everything of sustenance. “honestly nothing. it’s incredibly boring.” you gasped as you remembered. “mel got pregnant last year.”

ellie nearly spit out her food. “no way.” you nodded, picking up your fork again. “with who? what’d her parents do?”

“owen.” ellie gasped as you nodded. “who, mind you, at the time was dating abby.”

“good god.” joel stood up, taking his plate with him. “thats enough for me.” you and ellie laughed as he left.

ellie cleared her throat as you took a bite. “20 questions?” you nodded and set down your fork before getting comfortable. “favorite song?”

you hummed, “kyoto, phoebe bridgers.” ellie nodded approvingly. “favorite movie?”

“the outsiders.” you groaned and ellies jaw dropped. “excuse me? whats your favorite then?”

“practical magic, duh.” you smirked as she rolled her eyes. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.” you echoed her comment from earlier.

“you’re so annoying.” ellie flicked a pea at you.

you threw one back, hitting her forehead. “favorite book?”

she thought for a moment before she answered. “catcher in the rye.”

“good one.” she nodded. “wanna get slushies?”

ellie bolted up with a smile, “god i thought you’d never ask.”

“i can’t believe you dont get cherry and blue raspberry.” you shouldered ellie as you walked back to your car.

ellie scoffed. “i can’t believe you do.” she pulled at the passenger door. “unlock the car.” you got in, closing your door and locking it. “angel.”

you smiled at her and turned on music, singing along between sips. ellie walked around to your window and knocked. your pretended to be shocked, turning down the radio and rolling down the window. “what can i do for you this fine evening?”

ellie leaned her arms on the car door with an innocent smile. “can i kiss you?”

“what?” your face and mind blanked long enough for ellie to unlock the door and pull it open. you barely realized before she was clambering over you to the passenger seat. “oh fuck you.”

ellie gasped, “how unladylike. you just sip your slushy and get me home safely,” she teased as she buckled her seat belt.

you fought the urge to roll your eyes as you shut your door and put the car in reverse.

how badly you wanted to have said yes.

[crazylittlejester]

Unsure if you’ve answers this already, but what’s the rest of the chain doing in your modern au?

I don’t think ive ever really talked a lot about it like, in depth, but im more than happy to because i love my au and my silly guys :)

my bad for spelling errors i am Stupid 💔

Time: (46) Lives on the ranch with Malon. He worked full time as a mechanic before he met and married Malon, and he still works at the same place just SIGNIFICANTLY less hours because he’s also doing work on the ranch. He also plays guitar as a hobby, he played more when he was younger but Twilight’s BIGGEST flex in middle and early high school was that his dad owns some fuckass guitars

Hyrule: (20) He really really really likes rocks and being outside so he’s going into geology because he wanted to dig in the dirt and find special rocks. Sometimes Twi will text him like “bro where are you?” and if he even has service Hyrule will just send him a pic in the literal middle of fucking nowhere. Hyrule lives with Legend in the same apartment as Wars, Twi, and Sky, EXACTLY one floor below them

Legend: (20) Political science major, because he was running out of time and had to pick something. He’s not super sure what he wants to do, he has like, no plans, he didn’t think he’d be alive this long and have to DO something with his life. He works at the same little coffee shop as Sky, and those two are good friends. Every time Wars is being too loud above him (jumping, screaming, dancing) he will get up on his table and smack the ceiling and yell, or he’ll leave him angry voicemails. He left the dorms because he couldn’t handle being in the room next to Wars’s dramatic ass, he was DEVASTATED to discover all he did was move in underneath him

Wild: (19) He’s doing fashion/arts and he really really likes photography. He’s a retired skater (same as Wars) and on good days he can move around alright with minimal pain, but it’s not uncommon for him to use a mobility aid. He’s very good friends with Wars and sometimes they’ll fuck around at the rink together, other times when he has five minutes to spare Wars will drive him around and they’ll go to parks and just sit. They’re each other’s oldest friend and they both left a sport that was literally their entire world and its been hard to adjust to life without competitions but they’ve got each other. Wars makes a very serious effort to meet up with Wild 2-3 times a week

Four: (19) He’s a blacksmith, like his grandpa, but he got roped into this mess of a friend group somehow anyways. He finds most of them to be far too loud or dramatic, but they’re his best friends and he’s stuck with em

Wind: (16) He’s still in high school, but he does band and soccer. Wars took him skating ONCE because he used to babysit him, and Wind kinda got obsessed with the idea of what he calls ‘knife shoes’. Of ALL the people Wars has taken to the rink with him (who have no prior experience skating), Wind is the best. He’d be able to fuck around and play ice hockey with Wars, he’d get his ass beat if he went against an actual hockey player, but he can play a simple friendly game with Wars if Wars agrees to it

and then for anyone unfamiliar with the au!!:

Wars: (20/21; depends on what time of year I write the au in, because everything is just about their last year of undergrad and he’s a December birthday) He’s a retired figure skater who holds a world record and several gold medals, and he won the hyrule equivalent of the olympics at 18. He’s a dance major now, he’s been doing ballet since he was 3 and he never quit it, and he’s gone pretty much all day during the week because he goes skating for two hours before class, his last class ends at 5:30, and then if he’s actively in a show rehearsal ends at 10. Weekends are his only time to breathe but he’ll still have rehearsal from 1-6 and will hit the rink from like 10-11 unless Sky and Twi get on their literal hands and knees and BEG him not to because they miss him and “when will my husband return from the fucking war??”

Twilight: (21/22; his birthday is March) Bio/chem major with the intent to become a vet for ranch animals. He LOVES animals so so so so much, and he has a rather bad habit of bringing home sat wet creatures to his adoptive parents/aunt&uncle Time and Malon who just need a little extra love, including but not limited to: Several dogs, several cats, an injured bird, Warriors, a baby deer. Most of these things get taken care of and then released or Time helps them get adopted, and others get kept (at LEAST four dogs (including a very fluffy one named Wolfie), Wars, and two cats)

Sky: (21) English literature major who wants to become a teacher because he had an awful time as a disabled kid in school and he was made to feel stupid and he NEVER wants a kid to have that experience. It broke his heart to realize Wars had that experience too and still thinks he’s stupid, but Sky is determined to be the kind of english teacher you remember DECADES after you leave grade school because they were so important and changed your life. His gf Sun also loves english literature, and they go on dates to the library together and it’s just disgustingly sweet. He’s living out his best coffee shop romance au life because he does in fact work at a coffee shop and he did in fact fall in love with the girl who came in and ordered mint tea at 4 pm on the dot every day he just so happened to be working

[mikachacha]

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚘𝚘 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛) 𝙿𝚝.1

𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎, 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎�� 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: slight angst and start of toxic relationship 🥹🥹

(A/N: im so nervous and happy to be finally uploading this piece here in tumblr 🥹🥹 ive been thinking about this for so long and finally had the courage to upload it now)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

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It's been a week since you graduated in college and it still felt like a dream to you. You're one step closer to your dreams and how can you ever forget that day? It was the same day that Bada finally asked you out to be her girlfriend after knowing each other for a year. You couldn't believe your luck to have all your hard work finally pay off and to have such a gorgeous girl to be yours. It's like you've won the lottery.

"Baby, I have a surprise for youuu.." Bada said with a grin on her face and you looked at her, curiosity visible on your face which made her grin even more. You're hanging out in her apartment since you have nothing else to do and you're just waiting for a response from all the companies you've applied to, not that you're way too worried about it since you had other plans if no one responds.

"What is it?" you asked and she placed two plane tickets to Korea on the coffee table that made your eyes go wide and for you to hug her tight. Despite being Korean like her, you grew up in the states since your family migrated before you were even born. So going to Korea with Bada will be your first time there and you're thrilled.

"We're gonna go to Korea, go to my hometown and maybe introduce you to my family and close friends." she says and you couldn't stop yourself from kissing her. You're overjoyed. So many emotions are playing in your head. You're happy that you get to go to Korea, happy that she's going to introduce you to family and friends but also worried that they're not gonna accept you since you barely speak and understand Korean and don't know much about the culture.

Days pass and both of you are busy buying gifts for her parents, packing your things and last minute checking. You're ecstatic and Bada is happy seeing you get all excited. She loves how adorable you look and would often tell you so. She'd take you out on little dates, give you lots of love and just doing her best to make you feel loved. You loved it yet there's a small voice at the back of your head that kept saying it's a bit weird but you pushed it away as overthinking considering you came from toxic and abusive relationships.

"Alright, ready for our flight baby?" Bada asked and you nodded eagerly. You just arrived at the airport with her and she was holding your hand the whole time which made you feel giddy and loved. You gave her hand a gentle squeeze as you and her begin your adventure together.

The trip was long yet it was all worth it. When you landed, you were in awe. Everything is so different from the states, it's definitely a shock for you and you're just thankful that Bada is there to help you. She did the talking, navigating and just made your life much easier for you. When you were inside the cab, Bada turned a bit to talk to you since she said it's gonna take a while to reach her parents house which you didn't mind at all.

"Baby.. I know this will sound like shit but can we keep it low-key at my parents' house? Like we're gonna act like best friends while we're there since they're pretty traditional and don't really accept us as a couple yet. But don't worry, I will slowly talk to them about us so they'll be more open minded about us." Bada says and you feel your heart break from her words. You looked at her, trying to reassure yourself that your girlfriend is just playing a joke on you but the look on her face says otherwise. You wanted to cry, you wanted to get out of the cab and go back to the states but you forced yourself to think rationally. You took deep breaths and sighed, nodding your head. What else can you really do in this situation? You're already here, yeah it hurts but you also didn't want to ruin the trip for Bada.

"Alright.. But we'll talk more about this when we go back to the states." you said sternly and she nodded, placing kisses all over your face and saying sorry for putting you through the situation you're about to go through.

You finally arrived at her parents' house and they were waiting for you outside. Her parents welcomed you warmly and they even had a meal set up for you and Bada, saying that both of you must be starving from such a long trip which is quite true. Seeing the feast in front of you, you were amazed. Bada would always order Korean food or take you to a Korean restaurant, having authentic homemade ones really hits differently. Bada talked to her parents mostly while also translating stuff for you and you would also make an effort to talk to them in Korean to which Bada's parents really appreciated. It was fun, you felt happy that you forgot the pain you felt earlier when you were with Bada in that cab.

You both rested for a bit after the meal since Bada told you that she'll drive you around the neighborhood so you can fully enjoy Korea's beauty since the fall season has already begun. You didn't talk to her that much, you're still pretty upset from earlier and what made you more upset is she didn't try to talk to you. You were about to contact your best friend just to vent out when Bada took your phone and tossed it on the bed before kissing your lips. It's like she didn't want you to talk to anyone regarding her odd behaviour.

"What the fuck?" was all you could say after pulling away from her kiss and she looked at you, her eyes getting all sad and you strangely felt guilty even though you didn't do anything wrong.

"You're still upset.. I'm sorry.. I really wanted to introduce you to them as my girlfriend but then they won't welcome you and I don't want that to happen.." she says and hugs you, resting her chin on your shoulder.

"Yeah I'm still upset but what can I do, really? We're already here. Might as well stick to your plan until we get back to the states then we'll sort this out." you told her and she nodded, placing a kiss on your cheek.

She took you out that afternoon, driving around the neighborhood and taking you to the places she used to go to. Bada's really doing her best to make you feel loved, to make you feel special until you forget everything that happened earlier. You loved the affection you're getting from her. It got you thinking that maybe she's really making up for this whole situation and that everything will be okay eventually. You're really hoping for things to go well eventually for you and Bada.

"And this is where I usually grab dinner during my highschool days with my friends. They sell the best fried chicken here and their kimchi is to die for." Bada raves as she pulls you inside a small restaurant. You couldn't help but smile at how cute she is. You gave her hand a small squeeze as you followed her. You were busy looking around and bumped into her when she suddenly stopped. You were about to ask her why she stopped when you saw a guy in front of you and Bada.

"Who's this pretty girl with you, Bada?" the guy asked and you looked at Bada, confused. She smiles at you, before facing the guy again.

"Hey Howl. This is Y/N, my girlfriend." Bada said coolly and the guy just chuckled, shaking his head in amusement like he couldn't believe that you're Bada's girlfriend.

"I'm hurt, Bada. You didn't break up with me properly and now you're back with a girlfriend? Will this make us a trio now? Do we have an alternating schedule?" Howl teased and Bada just shoved Howl out of the way, not saying anything. You're stunned by the interaction and wanted to ask Bada what that was about but from the look on her face, you're sure that you won't be getting any real answers soon. You could feel your heart sink, the person you thought you knew might be hiding a secret from you. Maybe not just a secret, maybe you don't really know who the real Bada is.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Things are out of whack. So I'm writing ☺(smol-ey = smol smiley). This song has been on 100% repeat for the last several hours of my life and heavily inspired what is below. This is only Part I and I don't know how many there will be. But I've taken quite a few notes on it. I would just say be ready for more.

SFW ::: C/W ::: A-n-g-s-t & language. (aged up) ProHero!Katsuki x F!reader, things didn't turn out like either of them thought and they're doing their best to move on. But can they? Do they really even want to?

WC ::: Just under 700

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

He called you at 8:04 that morning. And while you didn't answer, you did do him the courtesy of listening to his voicemail.

Katsuki's voice was gruff and rough around all of the edges. He didn't like that you probably looked at the phone when it began to ring and you either flipped it over or pushed the volume button to silence the ringtone that you two had so sweetly picked out together when you first got together 3 1/2 years ago.

The sound took you back to that time when everything was new and fun and so simple that you thought it would be like that forever. But you were harshly reminded that if things don't change, they will most likely die. It would take a miracle to figure out where, along the way, did you both change so much that you couldn't live together anymore.

"Oi, I know you're sitting there looking at your phone, listening to that fuckin' stupid little song we picked out on our 11th date. Yeah, course I remember. Anyway, uh, whatever. I mean, you needa come by and get the rest of your stuff outta here. I -” You heard a muffled sound as he tucked the phone away and yelled at someone. “- hold the fuck on, can you not see that I'm on the fuckin' phone? Jesus. Uh, um, oh. Get the rest of your shi- uh, stuff today. P-please. I'm off today and won't be home between 9 this morning to about 6 or 7 tomorrow morning. That should give you more than enough time to get everything. Ok? O-ok. Leave your ... key, too, I s'pose. Well, that's it. I lo- fuck! Bye, y/n."

The tears welled up in your eyes like they had everyday this week. As soon as you opened them to take in the empty space around you, in your bed, your bleak little apartment was a fucking joke compared to the place you two once lived together. And while you're the one who, for all intents and purposes, asked for this, you couldn't lie to yourself any longer: You did not want to be without him.

You did not want to be away from the man you loved with every cell of your stupid body. Every breath. Every heartbeat was the beating of a drum sounding out his praise. Every smile and every flutter of your eyelashes was because of him. God, you miss him.

But to just leave it at this? To let go completely? That would be an admission that it's how things will be from here on out. And you're just not ready for that to be your final answer.

Texting him back, in response to his call, you said as little as you could, still getting the point across. "Yeah, thanks for the heads-up. I'll take care of everything and leave my key on the kitchen counter by the coffee maker." You choked back a sob as you thought about all the times he set up the coffee the night before and climbed into bed with you. Wrapping his arms around you. Snuggling his face into your neck and telling you that he made it extra strong, just how you like it. And that he picked up your favorite creamer flavor - it was 2 for $7, so obviously he got you 2 of them because it would be fuckin' stupid not to. 

It hurts to breathe. It hurts to walk. It hurts to be awake. You have all day and all night to get over there and clear out whatever is left of your lives together. To leave the one thing behind that could get you to him at any moment in time. 

So, you threw on a pair of his old sweats, an old favorite shirt of his, and a hoodie with his Pro Hero name on it. Fixed your face. Put your hair back. Grabbed your purse and headed to your favorite coffee place to get something to appease this godforsaken headache you had brewing in the core of your brain and drove to his place.

You drove home. 

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @millennialmagicalgirl @arlerts-angel

[wintervalewritersecond]

tears to shed iv - simon 'ghost' riley

masterlist // masterlist call of duty

requested: no, but requests are OPEN! request: x

A/N: last part! hope this makes up for the sad ending last part <3

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4

wordcount: warnings: ooc simon (like, very ooc), corpse bride au, she/her reader, happy ending

An arranged marriage to unite two worlds. But no one would have expected that it would bring together the living and the dead.

Your parents were much happier to hear that they were up in the social ladder now than that they were to hear that you had come back. Lord and Lady MacTavish also could not care less - as long as they got money, they would be set.

It is not like life with Johnny was bad. Not at all, actually. You had fun with him, and he was someone you feel comfortable with. He is so trustworthy, funny, and nice. It truly could have been so much worse.

The years pass, new people coming to the town, other people leaving. Babies are being born and elderly people are passing away. You aren't scared of death anymore - you have lived in it, you have loved in it.

Marriage to Johnny is like marrying a best friend. Both you and Johnny found out quite early on that you did love each other, yet more like friends or family instead of lovers. Not that you thought the other was ugly, mean, or uninteresting. It was just platonic, but to be quite honest, you did not mind.

You could be on the street, or worse, married to a horrible person. Lucky for you, you are 'stuck' with Johnny. Every single day felt refreshing, always going on trips or eating a delicious dinner. Your mother and father barely came to visit, saying they were much too busy with their new way of life. Lord and Lady MacTavish were also not seen very often, always far away, enjoying the money they now had.

Years seem to fly by.

The older you get, the faster time goes.

Your body is becoming weaker, the people around you have left, and the house feels much too big for only two people. It is winter now, and sickness is going around, a sickness that had also gotten the better of Johnny.

You sat by his side, his body covered with endless blankets, coughs coming from him ever so often.

"You are burning up," you mumble, your hand on his forehead.

He does not respond, only looking at the ceiling before finally turning his head to you. This is the most movement he has gone through this entire week. Johnny stays quiet for a moment, blinking slowly before licking his lips.

"Is the afterlife scary?"

"No," you softly say, taking hold of his hand, "It is fun, free, careless. You will have your own place, and you can have endless drinks at the bar. It is colourful and bright."

He hums, his hand softly squeezing yours as he looks past you.

"I think I would like to go there."

Your breath hitches in your throat, tears burning in your eyes as you look at him, bringing your other hand to his cheek.

"You do?"

Nothing but a hum yet again, his eyes looking past you.

"Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Will you find me there?"

You nod, pressing a kiss to his hand.

"I will."

"Can you promise me something?"

Your heart feels heavy.

"Anything."

"After you find me... Also find Simon. That one man from years ago," he whispers, coughing, "If it... If it truly is as you said, then please, find him. Live the life you couldn't live now."

"Johnny," a tear falls down your cheek, "You are acting as if my life with you was not good."

"Oh, lass, we had a wonderful life. But the afterlife you describe... It is your second chance. Take it, please."

One last promise you make to him. Through sickness, through health, till death do you part.

"I promise you, Johnny. I love you so."

"And I love you."

After one last breath, one last blink, he leaves you. Leaves you behind as you did that one night, though you know he will not come back. More tears fall down your cheeks as you press a soft kiss to his forehead. Another friend lost.

You then spent months alone. No visitors, no Johnny, no parents.

It was weird.

The world seems so grey, so bleak, so colourless. There is nothing for you here. You eat just to eat, you read just to read. Everything seems meaningless. Another night where you go to sleep in a cold bed.

But this time, when you wake up, you feel different.

Your bones don't hurt, your limbs don't feel heavy, your hair doesn't feel brittle. Instead, you feel lively, weightless, free.

"A new arrival!"

Is the time finally here?

You open your eyes, the lights very bright, and you nearly can not believe what you see. It's the bar, the people, the music, the drinks.

"Wait..."

You quickly turn around, coming eye to eye with Johnny.

"Lass?"

You nod slowly, a smile forming on your face as you fling your arms around him.

"Oh, Johnny!" You pull away from him for a second, your hands on his cheeks, "I can't believe it! Oh, you look so young."

He does not nearly look the same as when you last saw him. His skin isn't wrinkly, his eyes are bright, and he has the same silly haircut.

"Says you," he grins, holding out his cup to you, "You look as mighty as ever."

You look at his cup and back at him. You are actually here. But, if you are... Is Simon here as well? Johnny still has a smile on his face, taking a swig from his beer. He knows what, or rather who, you are looking for.

"Go on," he nods his head to the exit, "We will have eternity to celebrate that you're here. Go, we can talk later."

You press a kiss to his cheek, nodding as you lift up the bottom of your skirt, walking up the stairs that lead to the outside of the bar. You are met with a mirror, right next to the door. You look so much younger, almost as if no time had passed. Dressed in a nightgown, your hair done up, looking youthful as ever. The age when you first got here, gone back in time, just like Johnny.

The roads, the coffins, the lights - all are exactly as you remember them being. You have dreamt of taking this exact walk dozens of times, clenching onto the dogtags that you had yet to take off. Now, you actually walk there, the tags tight in your hand. A left here, straight, and then...

You are so absorbed by your own thoughts that you do not register the person in front of you. You yelp, nearly falling over, but catching yourself by holding onto a crate.

"Oh, sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!"

"Y/N?"

You look up, you know that voice...

"Price?"

"I can't believe it!" He laughs, pulling you to him to give you a big hug, "You are here! Oh my god, wait until Simon hears about this. You are going to give him a heart attack!"

"Where is he?"

"At home," he backs off, nodding his head into the direction of the house, "Hasn't been out too much. Kept his mask back on, been in a real mood for a while. You know, he never got over you."

He still thinks of you?

"Neither have I," you whisper, looking up at the man.

"Oh, I know," he only shrugs, "Johnny and I have become well acquainted over these months. Sadly haven't been able to really talk to Simon too much, but I think that might change."

The two of you continue your way, only a few doors away from the love of your afterlife. What if he doesn't want to see you? What if you are not like how he expected? Maybe he does not wish for a life with you.

"Don't worry your little head, Y/N," Price whispers, stopping at the door, "I will leave you be. Come by the bar later?"

You nod, sending him a smile as he leaves you alone at the door. What now? Do you knock? You feel nervous, yet you don't feel the pounding of your heart or the sweat in your hands. You are excited, though you can't feel the butterflies in your stomach.

A soft knock on the door.

Was it not hard enough? What if he isn't home? What if he didn't hear? What if he acts like he doesn't hear so he doesn't have to answer-

"Price, I told ya, I don't want to go to the-" the door gets ripped open, revealing the masked man you have thought about each and every day, "pub."

"We don't have to if you don't wish to, Simon."

"Wh... Is that you?"

He grips your cheeks tightly, scared that if he lets go, you will disappear. His eyes scan your face, the rest of his face hidden behind the skull mask he wore when you met him. You nod as much as you can, but the tight grip barely allows for you to move. Within a second, you are in his arms, his arms around you and his head on top of yours. Even if you wanted to, you could never get out of this embrace.

"I can't believe it. You are here."

"I am here," you confirm.

"I have waited each and every day. Price told me your husband came here before you did."

You nod.

"He did. But he made me promise him something."

What did he promise? Should Simon be scared? Are you only here to say hello, only to never see him again?

"He wants me to have a second chance. To life my... afterlife, the way it was intended. With you."

He slowly lets go, looking down at you with big eyes. His tags still around your neck and you looking like an angel. Is this real? Someone, pinch him, though it will not work.

"With me?"

"Johnny and I were friends. Best friends, even," you whisper, holding onto Simon his hands, "He told me to find you, Simon. And, if you will have me, I would want to spend this eternity with you."

That is all that he has ever wanted to hear.

So, he gets down on one knee.

"Death made us part, but now brought us together," he kisses your knuckles, "May I ask you to be my wife, for now until forever?"

One hell of a way to ask you to marry him.

[tainted-liquor]

Hi! Important lil PSA for the road, cuz theres an increase in parasocial relationships w me and my friends.

TW; Immersion break, one-sided relationships, parasocial dynamics?? idk.

Alr hi, chances are if you're reading this rn you've been following me, or hate me dearly LOL. Im talia, and Im a tumblr creator that started in summer of last year writing for the ATSV community. During this time I've amassed about 900 followers and met some really cool folks ! But Ive been noticing there is a lack of respect for someones wishes to remain anonymous, so I wanna address something.

I love writing! I love my lil fanbase and I love all you silly lil guys in the miles community, but please remember. I am NOT your casual friend. I don't OWE you anything.

I am a teen girl (or boy) who doesn't really know any of you. Idk who you are, your interests, your personality, nothing. I am not going to "reveal" or entertain the idea of my identity behind the screen, because I have a social life with an amazing partner and great friends that I just dont want on this acc LOL ! Big shocker, this account embarrasses me ! I wouldnt want anyone at school finding it, so as a result, im not going to be doing any "age" nor "face" reveals for my safety lol

coming in my inbox and saying im starting drama when im not even talking to anybody rn is...weird. DMING me CHILD **RN is weird. I need you all to recognize that I dont see any of you as my classmates, my close friends, I recognize you as 1 of 2 things; people who like my work, or people I talk to on occassion.

Yes, I have a group of friends from tumblr that know my face, identity, age, living space, etc. But if that is not you, then I don't owe you...shit LOL. I will not be posting my passport, my ID, my school photos, NOTHING. Fruitlessly attempting to harass me over these things will get you nothing but embarrassment and a good laugh from my family and friends.

And this statement doesnt apply to just me, either. Ive had people in my friends inboxes and messages talk in a weirdly casual manner, and refer to them as their 'friend'. As in calling them by their name, and attempting to hold conversations like they link arms together and walk thru school hallways. THIS IS NOT...NORMAL LOL.

From some of my closest friends in the miles writing community,

STOP. ATTACHING. YOURSELF. TO. WRITERS!

im a normal ass black girl w problems of my own, and a job to attend...I have more maturity and sense of self and responsibilty than an unfortunate amount of people who are going to read this message and get offended. If I don't upload a 2nd part of your fav fic in time, dont take to my inbox to get upset. If we're not at LEAST mutuals, please don't talk to me or say things to me in the way you would talk to a wife, best friend, cousin, or casual.

[dozing--zzz]

these are @robbie-lee-zombie 's tickle questions! (sorry for the tag! ik you dont know me haha)

i thought id answer them because why not! also its a fun way for yall to get to know how i am tickle-wise since my blog is so new ☺️

1. What’s your favorite tickle tool?

honestly, just hands. but feathers and paint/makeup brushes are fun too. i just dont like the harsh/scratchy ones

2. Favorite Ler? (Tag them if you dare~)

im not super close with really anyone on here just yet, (totally feel free to change that, send me a dm lets be friends!!) so im not sure! i dont wanna tag someone i hardly know lol

3. Favorite Lee? (Tag them to call them out~)

same as #2!

4. Opinion on blindfolds/restraints? Why or why not?

not really my thing! they scare me like a lot haha. like im okay with maybeee my arms up or being pinned if i trust someone, but that's as far as ill go.

as a ler, ill pin a lee if they want it, but big bondage is still not my style. whatever the lee prefers other than that ☺️

5. A spot that gets you squealing?

this question is so cruel 🥲

lower back n back ribs

6. How long do you estimate you could last before calling mercy?

not sure. ive never been tickled for an extended period of time before, but id estimate maybe 2 minutes? before I need a break.

7. Ever have tickle fantasies?

if "fantasies" is being used non-sexually in this case, absolutely. haha i think about lots of cute little scenarios of either me tickling someone or them getting me.

8. Why did you make your tickle blog?

ive had a few before this that i abandoned, and have lurked for like 2 years since my last one, but i joined again because i love interacting with this community and having tickle friends makes me soo happy

(again, dm me!! id love to be friends)

9. Does anyone irl know of your interests?

nope! farr, far too scared haha

10. Can you say the t-word?

i think i can, ive never actually said it in front of anyone before because it never comes up, but like ive said it just fine sitting in my room or while reading aloud

11. Verbal teases, yes or no and why?

depends. some of the stuff i see is awkward and corny, i guess i would have to really experience it myself because most of what i see online doesn't appeal to me. im not sure if that would change if it was an actual interaction haha

this also is the reason i dont rp online as a lee, because its just awkward to me lol. i dont actually feel anything lol 😭

12. Upper body tickles or lower body tickles?

i like both, but probably upper body if i had to choose.

no, definitely not because my belly and back are there shush

13. Neck or ear tickles?

i dont think my ears are very ticklish, so probably neck tickles haha

14. Pinned on your back, or your stomach?

i dont think i could choose haha both make a bad spot super vulnerable 🥲

15. What do you love about the lees you know?

they're SO tooth-rottingly adorable oh my goddess. they make me wanna hold them in my lap and just gently tickle them silly you literal cutie pies.

16. What do you love about the lers you know?

one, they're also so adorable, and two, they're so nice about tickles 🥲 they make me feel so safe and nice

17. Feathers or Paint Brushes?

this question.. 🥲

i dont think i could choose i love them both

18. How long have you known about your interests in the community?

since i was young, like maybe 7-8 years old, i had that feeling about and fixation on tickling, and thats also when i became a little scared and very shy about the subject on top of being a very reserved child, and only just secretly watched yt tickle compilations in my bedroom. i didn't find out about the community until i was more like 11-12. it was huge to me since i thought i was just.. weird haha, and while i was very dumb and didn't put up proper boundaries, i engaged with tickle content for a while. when i was 14, i believe, i had this like year-long phase where i wanted to not be like that anymore, deleted tumblr, and tried to completely push it out of my life but surprise surprise haha! at 15, i started lurking again and here i am now at 17 with my current blog!

19. What’s your favorite way to be tickled? (As in provoked, teased into asking, etc.)

surprise tickles or having someone straight up ask if they can tickle me would probably be my favorites because i feel its SO cute, and also doesnt involve me asking.. also the second one usually means gentler tickles like we're cuddling on the couch or something and those aaa are for sure my favorites

20. Are you/Do you like Polite Lees or Bratty Lees? (Asking for tickles vs Pissing someone off for tickles)

i love all lees because all of you are adorable and i will never say anything different, but someone coming up to me and asking for tickles will always hold a special place in my heart because AA its so incredibly cute it makes me so happy

i myself am a polite lee, im very shy irl in general and that kind of bleeds into how i am about tickles, so while it would take like a whole day of hyping myself up and figuring out how to ask and i would almost 100% chicken out, if i could ask i would. i don't like making people mad either haha

if you have any other tickle (or just normal!) questions you want my input on, my asks are open! ask away!!☺️

[honeygrandpa]

tw warning: family death and animal injury

this has probably been the worst week of my life. on sunday my uncle had a heart attack on his way home from a trip so i drive from ga to tn to pick up his wife and then 10.5 hours to ia to get her to the hospital before he passed and we didn’t make it time. then i drive her back to tn and stayed with her because she couldn’t take care of herself and she wouldn’t eat (she’s diabetic so this was a real problem) and she didn’t know how to pay her bills or how to live without him. i got back to ga yesterday and then today, my dogs were outside on the chain and 2 neighbor dogs came into our yard off leash. 1 of my dogs attacked 1 of the neighbor dogs and that dog has to have an emergency procedure in the morning to drain the wound. i know legally it wasn’t my fault but i feel so so awful and i don’t know what to do. i don’t have the money to pay her vet bills. with all of the travel with my uncle, im already have debt on my credit card that i can’t pay off. and i have to drive to ia again next week for the funeral and pay for boarding for my dogs. i paid $1000 to a trainer who says they specialized in aggressive dogs last year and she basically told me to not bring them around other dogs. my dogs are rescues and they used to be ok around other dogs but my brother’s dog bites people and made them really nervous and ever since 1 of my dogs bit his dog to keep him away from me, they’ve both struggled with dog aggression. they like little dogs and calm dogs but get really bad around bigger energetic dogs. everything is awful and i really really don’t know what to do. im also struggling to finish my master’s degree and already am taking an incomplete for my culminating project so i have more time to finish writing. i am struggling to get everything done and apply to jobs so i might end up being too late to get a teaching job before the school year starts and i turned 26 this month so i wont have health insurance and i wont be able to see my therapist even though my panic attacks have been worse than usual this year and ive had really awful ones where i cant stop throwing up a few times this year when i used to have the really bad ones once every few years. im overwhelmed, i cant afford to move out of my moms house even though she doesn’t want me here, and im never going to see my favorite uncle again. i cant even afford to take care of these dogs but ive been trying for like 3 years now because they needed a home after being abused and neglected by their previous owner. they’re also the only thing i have in my life that make me feel happy most days. like lucky is currently in my lap, licking my tears. i don’t even want to consider it but should i give them up? i probably wouldn’t make it without them but i really don’t know what to do. should i try to pay for the neighbor dog’s vet bills with my credit card?? the neighbor told me that she doesn’t hold me responsible and that she’ll keep her dogs on leashes going forward but she said this while sobbing with her hands covered in her dog’s blood. i don’t think this week could get worse honestly. ive never cried so much in one week

[itsalwaysdark]

i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic

[bonefall]

im sure youve discussed this before but what is blackstar like as a leader in bb? i really like what ive seen about your shadowclan and i loved your wildfur post and the tidbit of blackstar carrying wildfur during the mountain climb was my favorite

So early on, I was sitting with Leopardstar and Blackstar, deciding the stories I would tell for them. I agree in-canon Blackstar is a lot worse, but in my TNP rework I realized I had a GREAT story to tell about about Leopardstar.

So, I decided to tell a very long redemption arc with Blackstar, and the importance of preventing Thistle Law from ever taking root ever again with Leopardstar.

Blackstar is a character driven by his guilt, and desire to atone for what he's done. The story begins with his first visit to the Moonstone.

StarClan does not give him all his lives at once. He has trials over many years to earn them. This is symbolized by him being born with a black executioner's hood over his head, and over many years of pressing his nose to the stone and pool, it erodes away from his nose creeping up.

By the time he earns his last one, there's only a black thread across his chest holding the 'hood' together. It snaps when he earns the last one-- from Russetfur.

Russetfur, who was his lifelong best friend, soulmate, and deputy. She mattered more to him than anything else in the world. EVERYTHING he did was for her, and for the people like her, the cats he would have discarded or even killed during his time in TigerClan.

They had a similar sense of humor; dry and sardonic. They mutually FLIPPED their shit at the cats who let Berrynose writhe in that fox trap, and even came up with a very embarrassing punishment together.

Losing her was devastating. It now comes AFTER the Eclipse battle, too, during the reign of Bramblestar. It is the moment that causes him to lapse and be open to Sol's influence. In the meanwhile, Ratscar, Redwillow, and Applefur take control of the Clan to further the agenda of the Dark Forest.

Their dark plans are thwarted when ShadowClan begs Blackstar to come home and rule his Clan. No trickery, no guilt, just love.

He loses his second-to-last life in the Great Battle, with a 2-vs-1 battle. Him and Iceheart against Tigerstar.

His last life is spent guiding his Clan through the Great Storm just after the battle, as ThunderClan undergoes a reduxed super edition called ThunderClan's Tempest, but I'm going to have him pass away peacefully instead of drowning.

[furymint]

2024 Creator Reflection

FFXIV.

1. Playing with each others' fingers

it was nice to write wwi again... id planned for a complete conversion of nol and eli's story into this verse, but other hyperfixations got in the way and i forgot all my research for it (thankfully I have lots of notes). i liked how both of them are ridiculous here, and how nolanel is able to show both reason and disorder under an incompetent system.

2. Frightened

i think this was the strongest nol/eli writing this year. i had a lot of fun working out the correct verbs and balance during the fight. challenging nol w magic and garleans was also satisfying. i didnt get to participate much in nutley's extraordinary Tower rp plot, so im glad i could write this little bit of nol during endwalker. his silly convo w eli abt crushes is also set during that time.

3. Possessive Hand-Holding

This one is cute. I like culture shocking nol and eli with each other's communities, but i usually do that w nobility or penury, not making nolanel walk into a cruising district HGTHGTHHU 

FFXVI.

1. For Now I Am Winter

i have two more to write, but this is 200 words each (plus a couple bonus longer ones) of teredios in winter. i got to write some wwi au which kind of made me rly happy. i started to get used to the tiny frame as i continued throughout the month, and it rly enabled me to explore some ideas whether or not they fit in such a limit or not. i ended up liking each response in its own way, but i think 4. tinsel, 10 icicle, and 16. candles are my favs. i also need to give a big thank you to my friends for absolutely exploding my emails w comments. you make me so happy 😭😭😭

2. the waves now loose

tall ship brain rot finally indulged in.. it was fun to be back on the water after so long. getting to write invulnerable, young, spiteful dion after coming from my tired post-game dion was also great fun. it took me about 4 months to finish it and it began w this bullet point i cooked up while brainstorming lavendre's 2023 secret santa/No murmur against Fate.

even if this is canon-compliant tedi (the sanbreque navy is REAL OK🤡), i liked getting to establish some more of terence's refusal to accept the wider financial responsibility of knighthood bc that will be big in The Light I Hear ch3. talking abt the violence and tragedy of the ship is what i did best tho i think.

'terence writings words on dion's back w his finger' is a very old concept i had in my pocket for nol/eli which never had the right time. this fic has the longest and most explicit smut ive ever written (which isnt a lot lbr) and i think it finally kicked that bug out of my brain that liked writing it. which is also to say, idk how to reflect on it bc i feel neutral towards it rn. i have a lot of brainworms i need to wake up in 2025 to feel passionate again.

im not gonna put too much detail into this before i make myself upset. i didn't really meet any of my goals from last year. i did a lot of tellier research and made some astounding developments on that end, but not much else. i want to write more no matter what. i can feel the rust on myself every time i try to write, and when i look at my older writing and its beauty i get paralyzed by how i can no longer produce something like it right now.

i had a lot of good times last year too, though, and miku expo was probably the best day of my life. i also got to see kikuo, masashi hamauzu, nothing but thieves, and ffviir2 orchestra. we went to new york and i met karo and anew! i went to tellier's apmnt and found new poems! i made wyvern tails and gave a few out. i played a lot of disney dreamlight and made some decor im rly happy with. i plotted jillian's xmas gift for a while and she really liked it. i enjoyed the new dragon age game a lot. i bought some books im super thrilled to have. i got the sculpture arts aerith statue.

i need to build my stupid pc no matter what. i need to take care of myself. i need to let myself write instead of fearing my inability. im going to finish my degree next year. im scared about 2025, but it'll also be the year me and jillian get to see hachi. i really hope we can see hitorie at miku symphony.

thank you everyone for being my friend

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

[angelmichelangelo]

Hey! 👋

I saw your post of having a hard time today, so hope this helps!!

I am about to ask you a series of questions, (of which you have the right to refuse to answer if you’re not comfortable), and hopefully this will help distract you. 😁

1. Who is your favorite TMNT brother to write fics about?

2. What fic that you have written are you the most proud of?

3. How many medical-based TMNT fics have you written?

Now enough about what you write- let’s get to know you a bit better. :)

1. What is your favorite color?

2. Have you ever watched a sunrise before? If so, where and when? (If you can remember!)

3. What is your favorite snack while you work?

4. Does your closet consist of lighter or darker colors?

5. Do you have any pets? :)

6. Are you aware that your fics make so many people very happy, and have touched all of our hearts in ways we can’t well describe? (I WILL make fanart GOSHDARN IT- There’s just SO MANY Fics to choose from HAHA)

7. Do you have any OCs that no one in particular could draw? 😁

Hope this helps you, Angelo! (Is it alright if I call you that?) You got this!! Hang in there, and remember to take things slow. Run your race at your own pace. 💙

~ Melissa

hello there friend! :) thank you very much for this ask!!

to answer your questions!

1. i would say that mikey or leo is my favourite to write just because they have a special place in my heart 🥺

2. i’d say the fic im most proud of would be my glass turtles fic. it was a lot when i was writing it and maybe the only tmnt fic ive ever had hate on?😅 but it’s a fic that i am really glad i stuck with and put out there :)

3. i love me a good sick!fic !! and any whump fics are just like. pure gold to my heart lol — i do quite enjoy writing sainw fics were mikey loses his arm or i have a soft spot for epileptic rise mikey after the movie events :) but i plan on more medical based fics because it’s all i know lol

and as for me !!

1. i love the colour orange :) my bedroom is orange and everyone told me it would look silly but it’s so warm and glowy and makes me feel so safe :)

2. i had a really amazing opportunity to go to thailand just before the 2020 pandemic where i stayed in a little villa on a beach. i was having pretty bad jet lag and woke up early nearly every morning i was there and would just go sit on this quiet, empty beach with the warmth on my face as the sun came up. this was just a few months before my life got really hectic with family members becoming ill/dying and i just appreciate that i got to have that to kind of hold onto, in a way. to always remind me of the goodness in the world <3

3. i have a terrible habit of underrating at work 😬 but sometimes the kitchen staff are nice enough to make me up some potato croquettes that are just so so nice haha

4. my closet is a complete mismatch! :D i dont really have a set style of pretty much anything in my life so its a healthy mixture of lights and darks and all in between :)

5. i do!! i have a black cat that is just the sweetest lady in the whole world :3 she likes to sleep under the blankets curled up next to me and chew on my hair lol

6. oh 🥺🥺🥺 that really does mean so much.. i love writing fic and have done for the last, like 10 years ive been active in fandom spaces online. i have so much fun interaction with people through them and whenever someone tells me what it means to them is just like, maybe possibly the best feeling in the world. i appreciate that so much, thank you. (and any and all fanart is just gonna make my heart explode in the best way possible)

7. i don’t have any OCs for tmnt really. i mean, a long long time ago i had a fic idea of another turtle that reunites with them as is like. a motherly kind of figure but that never took off the ground and i haven’t really revisited it in like the last 8ish years lol but who knows! maybe 2025 will be the year of OCs!!

and it’s perfectly fine :) you can call me angelo, angel — i know a few people have and i think it’s really sweet :’) thank you so very much for this ask, im holding it very close to my heart <33

have an amazing day, thank you again !!