#for the girls that feel too much
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#always so sensitive#“why are you crying?”#sad girl#girl problems#girlhood#girl interrupted#cinnamon girl#lanadelrey#diet coke#coquette#girl blogger#lana del rey#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#girlblogging#for the girls that feel too much#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girlblog#coquette community#old money
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this is the first time back at my computer since my back injury 3 months ago and i had a hankering for some isabela 💙🗡
#girl. im in so much pain#i hope this gets better with time. these last few months have taken such a mental and physical toll on me#honestly been not feeling good about my art too but im trying sooo hard to stay positive OTL#isabela my lovely save me!!!!!!#isabela#dragon age 2#dragon age#da2#my art#art
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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Overworked and tired. Blame Papa Nihil for this one😔
#the band ghost#ghost the band#ghost the band bc#the band ghost bc#Cardinal Copia#Papa Emeritus IV#Cardi C#Copia#ghost bc fanart#ghost fanart#I've been obsessed with my baby girl legit#I draw at the speed of snails.... even slower than that....#but I hope to draw more with him#There's something about drawing the Cardinal feeling stress that feels cathartic to me (projecting much?)#cause is like? Overworked? Anxious? stressed? Me too my love (cheers)
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I often do think it is important to call myself a woman. In past I've had kids ask me "are you a man or a girl" and in hindsight I think these kids were quite perceptive of the world. Especially when you're in your 20s it's men and girls, I've seen students write pieces describing themselves as men, but their female peers of the same age they call girls, but I have also heard bisexual women say they like both men and girls. In past I've fallen into that myself and said that yeah I'm a lesbian I like girls, but do I? No I am in my twenties and I am actually only attracted to my fellow adults - women. It does feel more serious, less trivial, both to be and be attracted to women as opposed to girls, and that can be a bit uncomfortable to be faced with. It is also important to me as a butch. I am no longer a tomboy I am a butch I am no longer a girl I am a woman. I am a woman and women can be like me. I don't feel like I've succeeded enough at adulting to call myself a woman, but that doesn't matter. I am 25, and if the word bears other connotations so be it, that's not my problem.
#to be fair i have also heard men on their 20s say man feels too serious of a word to them#but idk like so much of our society infantilize women i wont do the same#but also like in group of friends i do hear both men and women call each other boys/girls like girl's trip/boy's trip evening with the boys#lunch with the girls etc like ofc theres many situations where those words are used past adulthood in a way that makes sense but still#musings#butch
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toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections
#this is my punishment for actually looking at yt comments isnt it#deltarune#kris dreemurr#maybe im looking too much into things but...#it also feels sorta. misogynistic when ppl default to he/him for androgynous/non binary characters#like ive seen multiple ppl use “well its understandable that ppl assume kris is a he when they have such masculine behaviours/hobbies”#the masculine behaviours and hobbies in question are being a prankster#i shit you not#like they called pranking... masc?? huh#can girls and others not get their silly on anymore??#also like i said before with the exception of like frisk and chara like almost every nb character is masculinised#like napstablook monster kid#god there has to be more but my memory is shit atm and i also have to go eat dinner#but i wanna talk more abt like why it feels so misogynistic to me#i thinnk it has to do with the fact that defaulting to he/him just makes women feel like an afterthought. ig like unless its confirmed then#they must be a guy to be relevant or smth#and also like how much they gender entirely non gender specific things (see: pranking)#ofc it wouldnt be BETTER per se if they imagined these characters as girls but its smth ive noticed and i just get frustrated cus#it feels sexist but i cant FULLY articulate why#i feel like i had the answer a lil while ago but i forgot#i might come back to this who knows#wow ok rant over#for now
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Do you think you can draw fem!Doom patrol Payneland? <3
Since the DBD ones are Charlotte and Edith, these shall be Charlie and Edwina(?)
#ask ask ask#payneland#dead girl detectives#doom patrol#dead patrol#no thoughts put into this only vibes#the doom patrol boys dress kinda modern so i didn't worry too much about accuracy#but i hope it FEELS like them u know?#girls patrol? lol
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
#humans are space orcs#humans in space#earth is a deathworld#earth is space australia#tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag#also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people#write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA#MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage.#especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry#evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally#ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting#after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater
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#i wanna die#madness#borderline#bpd#masks#pierced#mentally fucked#depressing shit#not enough#too much#tw depressing thoughts#trying to heal#borderline thoughts#im trying#borderline personality disorder#don’t wanna feel#depressed#depression#self h@rm#i‘m sorry#stoned girls#sadgirl#stoned#sadness#thoughts#anxiety#alone#lost#pain#hurt
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When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic
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I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.
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I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here
Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal” environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me
#portal#portal 2#chell#wheatley#chelley#chell x wheatley#wheatley x chell#autism be damned my girl can be a child soldier#testing on people is bad#especially children#but aperture is bad so i wouldn’t put it past them#this is kinda stupid#I also like to just not think abt her backstory at all#I feel like she wouldn’t care much about who she used to be#because that person is dead and all their share is a body and first name#everyone who knew that girl is likely dead too#so there’s no point in searching for answers that don’t exist anymore#Chell is Chell and she’s okay with that#it’s like 3am sorry I just love portal it’s my special interest#yay#ughghvhghdchhf
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Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:
Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.
(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)
The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.
But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are not gentle, and contain meaning that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.
There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.
There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.
In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.
And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.
The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.
#when i say i am OBSESSED ugh T_T#what joongdunk did in episode 5 just makes me appreciate and anew how much they're intentionally changing things each time#there's such care taken to portraying the characters growth and change of feelings and we are so blessed to be able to experience it!#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#stylefadel#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai#thk ep 5#thk ep 3#thk meta#<my posts>#shoutout to all the gifmakers because this post wasn't nearly as impactful with stills#i do wish there was a better way to search for gifs though TwT#also i've never been a colour analysis girl (because i don't know enough about it; not because i'm not interested...#i mostly don't know where to start)#but wow the lighting feels very intentional too: the cold and clinical shades of blue indicating the emotional distance between them#vs the warm and soft red/orange glow surrounding style's bedroom scene#yeah everything about these scene was so beautifully done and i'm so grateful we get to see it TwT
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some simple (but plentiful!!!) sprites for you all today. just some outfit swaps! the alpha kids did not get nearly enough cool outfits, so i decided to see what they'd look like with some modified beta kid outfits. some look decent, but others look very nice! i also did it the other way around too, because whynot.
(sorry i think i'll stop with the colored text thing in default text, it was So Cool but it was also really time consuming @_@)
JANE
ROXY
DIRK
JAKE
JOHN
JADE
ROSE
DAVE
#tada!!!#i feel like the lab suit and the vriska outfit look good on jane especially#roxy has the Source Engine Missing Texture dress#dirk's puppet tux suit and orange soda suit look so cool! though i guess the former would be hal's?#jake in a dress. it is unusual to see but pretty cool nonetheless!!#john hmmm... i associate that outfit with jane so much it's weird to see him in it. someone get that girl (John Egbert) a skirt#another unusual style for jade. neat to see though!#rose looks very nice too! it's hard to tell but i did actually switch some colors on that dress. check the original!#dave. hmm. no thanks#homestuck#homestuck sprite edit#jane crocker#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#jake english#john egbert#jade harley#rose lalonde#dave strider
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day 28: made you smile ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
#minifemslashfeb2024#ace attorney#dgs#tgaa#goulstrade#maria gorey#gina lestrade#GOD I MISS THEM#goulstrade is so funny to me. they're both freaks. they're both weirdos#BUT IT AIN'T EVEN ABOUT THAT#IT'S ABOUT THE PARALLELS (yes. again.) AND THE#THE FACT THAT NEITHER OF THEM HAD A NORMAL CHILDHOOD#both outcasts in different ways... both looked up to someone who ended up letting them down... hooh...#on a happier note I do think that maria would find gina endearing#I don't think maria knows what feelings are. exactly.#she just sort of goes 'it's that funny blonde girl again. day 130 of gina not agreeing to let me dissect her'#and gina is just like wat da hell. you're so scary. i need you in my life#girl knows if she befriends maria then she'll never have an enemy again#and she's right!#blah blah blah gina who has seen too much of the world and maria who has seen too little of it#thanks for coming to my goulstrade presentation where I make things up#I really enjoy them. teehee
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You wanted to come over! I have to get back to work. || Can we talk again? Yeah, I’d like that.
#literati#jess mariano#rory gilmore#jess x rory#rory x jess#gilmore girls#literatiedit#jessmarianoedit#rorygilmoreedit#gilmoregirlsedit#my gifs#*#it’s the way he’s so comfortable now admitting how he’s feeling#and he does so completely unprompted too!#just another testament to how much he’s grown and matured emotionally#he no longer feels the need to neither dodge questions#nor come up with excuses to cover up the fact that he wants to spend time with Rory — he’ll directly tell her as much!#my confident son :')
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There's no turning back.
... Is there anyone who'll be able to survive what lies ahead?
#millions knives#trimax#trigun spoilers#knives sure as fuck didn't lmao#ending my sick drawing saga with this one <3 i feel better now thx#yeah i'll give knives the piano piece. fuck you#i do love drawing knives beautiful. i loved doing the detailing on this one tbh it was a ton of fun#now i am less confident in the background but. what can you do :3 what i get for trying not to use red ig#it's so interesting that quote is from elendira too. she really just wanted to watch the world burn. get it girl <3#manga#illustration#artists on tumblr#drawing#my art#comic#fanart#trigun#i've been drawing too much knives for someone who likes other characters way better lmao. listen. im still processing the uhh#my own sibling trauma ok#drawing diablo vash is therapeutic in a similar way tbh lmfao
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girls who go 🧍
#(+ obligatory Fern Pout. i think it's the grumbly noise she makes that really sells it but i still had to draw it)#been thinking about this with melody for a while#& was inspired to throw fern in the mix when i saw her standing there like a telephone pole during her third exam#hunter x hunter#hxh#melody hxh#senritsu#sousou no frieren#fern frieren#(middle right is a manga panel redraw btw)#as much as i love dressing up melody in cute outfits & poses one thing i really love about her in canon is how a lot of the time#she's just kinda standing there in her signature potato sack dress#she wears dresses/feminine clothing but isn't really the “girly” type like bisky or palm#nor a Kickass Fight Girl™ but is still competent enough to participate in the plot#she values things like emotions music healing and protecting people without being “soft uwu Team Heart girl”#and not a mom/sister figure even with kacho or neon where she's in the position of protecting a younger girl#i know this word doesn't really mean anything but to my brain she's just *normal*#a depiction of femininity that i vibe with more than many others i guess#to some extent i feel that with fern too even if she's a bit more. well.#let's just say i spent two minutes in the fern tag and the amount of anime tiddies in there does not surprise me in the least
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