#my own sibling trauma ok

[tradingjack]

There's no turning back.

... Is there anyone who'll be able to survive what lies ahead?

[ririblogsss]

Ok so I've read that OCD, can be a by product of trauma.

So what if Danny doesn't relize he is deeply traumatized by the events that happened in his early childhood. By that I mean with all the weapons and chemicals spills around his house and of course his untimely death.

He noticed that his home has no order whatsoever and that's what made it dangerous to live in. He only found comfort in his own room because it was the only space the could truly control, and make sure it was safe.

He started associating organization and cleanliness with safety and security. He has underling fear of coming into contact with contaminants, and that it will bring his whole world to collapse if he does indeed come into contact with one.

So lets say that a revel gone wrong, and Dannys put into foster care and then handed into the Wayne family.

At this point the Bats know that Danny used to be phantom, because lets be real they would immediately figure it out. Yet Danny has no clue they are the bats. He just believes they are a really big family with too much money to know what to do with it.

So Danny someone who has no clue he has OCD but presents most if not all the characteristics.

For instance:

Danny subbing the same spot on the rug for hours trying to get rid of it. Because in his mind if that spot stays bad things will happen.

On another instance he is seen organizing and reorganizing his shelf on a very specified order and continuously going back until he is satisfied.

When he goes to eat he always asks if the food was washed and cleaned properly multiple times.

He always counts if all his cleaning supplies he keeps are there in the morning.

He has a very strict schedule in which he doesn't break and refuses to break, especially his cleaning schedule.

Now the Bats are completely aware of this, and instead of making feel bad about it they help him and reassure him every time.

Examples:

Danny found that in the living room the rug was too dirty, because of the constant influx of people bringing in dirt with them. Of course Alfred always cleans it, but Danny needs to make sure himself. So one of the siblings would help him clean the rug his way, as Danny does it in a very specific way.

Another example is when Danny started cleaning during a movie night because of all the popcorn that was dropped on the floor. The rest just stopped the movie and helped him clean the area, and then resumed the movie careful not to spill more popcorn.

At one point the family was concerned because Danny was moving into a more dangerous zone of the compulsions, such as scrubbing his hands raw because he accidentally touch something 'dirty' without his special gloves.

So they made Bruce ask him if he wanted to go to a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist for his OCD. And Danny just said he didn't have OCD he just wanted things to be clean and organized like everyone else.

in the end he was convinced to go to a therapist so he could learn to manage living with OCD, but he was endlessly happy that he had people to fall back to that didn't judge him, and instead helped him out.

note:

(I just want to say that I don't have OCD myself but a lot of my family members do have it, and ive seen how it affects their daily lives. And I wanted to bring to light that people can't control their obsessions/compulsions but they can learn to manage it so they can live calmer with less anxiety. So I hope I made it as realistic as possible and didn't sound stereotypical or offensive)

[luvst4rc0r3]

“Slave”

Jinx x F!Reader

WARNINGS: Minor cursing, Angst, SELF HARM

WORD COUNT: 1607

NOTE: Reader has a grown up too fast. NOT PROOFREAD!!

PT.2

You loved your life. I was peaceful now. Compared to years before. You had Jinx, Isha, and your son, Micheal. Life is good now. You spent years of working 2 jobs to take care of your son and you “old family”

Since both of your parents were gone you had to step up as a parent even if you weren’t the oldest. You took care of every single one of your siblings. You cleaned the house, made food, and made sure you planned events accordingly. You were a mother. But you didn’t want to be. It was forced upon you.

Sure you would have not taken care of Micheal. Sure you could’ve not taken care of the rest of your siblings.

But if you didn’t then they would be helpless, and you were too kind to let them suffer with the loss of both of your parents.

You were happy for a while. But you had a breaking point. You were treated like a slave. You were expected to do everything. To keep everything together like tape. Even so…tape can break.

You were done but you knew you had to keep going on for your son. He was your life, your pride, the reason you’re still here.

You tried so hard to tape your’s and your son’s life but you just can’t. It was too much for you. All of the cooking, cleaning, scolding you had to do. And not even a thank you from anyone. You never heard a thank you from anyone you took care of. From your friends to your son, I mean how can you blame him when he was a baby, he eventually learned to say thank you, but even to your own flesh and blood. Your siblings never said “thank you” just took you for granted. You got used to it. It hurt but what could you do?

Till you met Jinx. You are working for Silco. A debt collector. You collected debt from people and places. You also were a minor nurse. From all the experience as a “mother” you were the perfect fit.

Jinx had a fever and since it wasn’t a major injury, Silco put you on the job to take care of her. So you did, you never expected a thank you. I mean it was Zaun. People don’t have manners. All they know how to do is fight.

But Jinx. She always appreciated you even if it didn’t seem like she did. Since the moment you took care of her. She may have not said “thank you” but you knew you were appreciated. You were right?

She made it her goal to care for you like you cared for her fever. So every time you went out to settle a debt she was right behind you making sure you were never hurt. Even though you can take care of yourself she just wants to be sure.

That leads you to start dating. Micheal liked her. I mean what kid wouldn’t like an adult who built them cool stuff. Can when Jinx had Isha you would be at her hideout 25/8 now that she and Micheal were friends.

You liked this life. Sure it has some bumps. Like you untalked about trauma and her hallucinations. You still love her.

One night though was particularly bad.

You were playing with Isha and Micheal while was…um…doing whatever at her work station. You were worried for her. She hadn’t gotten any sleep recently, also not eating that much.

When Isha and Micheal were getting settled down for just playing cards with each other you decided to go over to Jinx making sure she was ok.

“Hey hun, I recently saw that you haven’t been getting sleep or eating well. Why not take a break? To take your mind off of everything.”

“No not right now, pretty. I'm working on something.” She doesn’t even glance at you; her full attention is on the device she is making.

“Jinx this is not healthy please. I’m begging you take a break” you plead with her

“Doll not right now” she says firmly.

“Jinx you have to-“ before you can finish you hear her yell

“OH MY GOD! Why can’t you mind your damn business for once in your life! You’re hovering over everything I do. Nagging me what to do and what not to do! You’re just useless. Just leave me alone.”

That made you stop in your tracks. Nagging? Hovering? Useless? Jinx never said these words to you. It reminds you of how your siblings treated you. Like trash.

“Fine…” you started, “Micheal we are leaving,” you said firmly. Isha was immediately against the idea, shaking her head no and so was Michael.

“Just let the kid stay the damn night. You don’t have to dictate the kid’s life along with mine” Jinx stated coldly.

…

“Fine”

With that you turned around and left.

Your arrival to your apartment didn’t take that long. But the weight of everything came crashing down the second you shut the door. You came crashing down, sobbing.

You were sick. Sick of everyone treating you like you were too insignificant to waste their breath on. Sick of everyone taking you for granted.

You were just sobbing on the ground. Too tired to get up, too tired for anything. You eventually get up not to sleep, not go to the bathroom, you just grabbed a knife and alcohol then plopped yourself on the couch. You returned to your old habits. Of self harm and booze. You didn’t count how many times that knife went over your wrist and ankles. Too many to count.

You eventually pass out.

When you wake up you go to get Micheal but when you get there he begs (and Isha too) you to let her stay for multiple days since she has done it before. You were too tired to care that you said yes on 2 conditions. You go to the hideout once a day to make sure they were fine and that you would make the meals that they could eat because you doubt that Jinx gave them good food to eat. They agree and hug you before you turn and leave.

The next 2 weeks were spent in this order:

wake up with a hangover and lose of blood

Go over to Jinx’s hideout to make sure Micheal and Isha were alive, then give them food.

Go to work

Go to the bar to drink.

Go to a convenience store to get more alcohol and food for the kids.

Come home

drink and self harm till you pass.

That was your routine for a whole 2 weeks. Never breaking the schedule. You didn’t care anymore. You were too tired.

Since you were too tired you didn’t realize 2 kids were following you. They watched your routine for a couple days seeing that you were done with life and had no hope. They felt bad.

Jinx on the other hand. It looked like she was doing fine but inside she was slowly dying. The voices got to her but she ignored them while working. She never wanted to admit it, she missed you. Missed how you tell her to take care of herself, she missed your voice, your scent, your touch. Her ego was too big for her to admit it though.

Her routine for those 2 weeks were:

wake up

maybe eat something

make sure the 2 kids were alive

start working

Work until she crashed

Eventually the 2 kids realize that nothing would change unless they did anything.

So they convinced Jinx to apologize to you when you came over.

When you came over the next day they dragged you inside where Jinx was looking at her waiting.

she sighs when she sees you then turns to her work while talking “I’m sorry for the way I treated you a couple weeks ago” it sounded so half assed. Like it was written out for her. Wait.

You noticed a paper right next to her. In the children's handwriting it wrote exactly what she said. You were beyond pissed

Your lover didn’t even want to look at you while she talked from a script. You were too insignificant for her.

Everything you had been taping up for the past 2 weeks broke.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Now that got her attention.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you dumb? The the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” You yelled not letting her speak.

“You're not even looking at me while you talk from a script that you didn’t even make!”

“So? It's not like you do anything except nag.” She stated, not really caring.

“So? Did you just say so? I don’t do anything?” You were so stunned.

“I work day and night to take care of not only the kids but your ass too!” You continue yelling, “I work so hard to make sure we are fine financially. Not only that I put food on the table, comfort you when you are having a panic attack, take care of the kids when you don't want to, I make sure they eat, sleep, and breathe. I even make sure you eat, sleep, and breathe too!” “You don’t have to do that” “if I don’t do that then who will?! Certainly not you. You can’t even get up to wash your hair some days. You make me do it. Who would take care of the kids?! Not you. You can’t even provide them a decent meal! You can’t even afford one.”

She was stunned. She hates how she knew you were right. How the only reason she is alive is because you have taken care of her. She never even thanked you.

“So I’m sorry…” you started crying, “if I nag and dictate your life. If you don’t want me in it then fine.”

For once you put yourself first. You took Micheal’s hand and walked out, never turning back. You didn’t know if you were even going to get back with Jinx again.

HEYY!!! Guys I wrote this while I was pissed at my brother so idk if I want to read this. BUTTTT if YALL want a pt2 I can do it (I’ll probably do it either way)

But ya.

I want food

[ladylokianna]

My favorite hello, my hardest goodbye

Pairing: Aemond x fem!reader (use of Y/N). Aegon is involved (in a good way).

Warnings: okay, what can i say... angst for first instance. The one shot contains mention of blood, trauma, child death, torture and violence. Please don't continue if that's uncomfortable for you, 18+, MDNI.

Notes: Ok, i have to admit that the whole idea of this one-shot was totally different in the beginning: it started out angsty with the what if? in which Blood & Cheese kill Aemond's son and not Aegon's, and i had also sketched out something more angsty, but i left it out because i didn't want to make my beloved boy suffer more than he had to. So, that draft posted a few days ago following a request i developed it better and out came a tragicomic piece, with Aegon as a master of torture helping his sister–in–law vent against her son's murderer.

Ah, i'd like to specify one more thing: the relationship between the Targtower siblings is not based on the TV series, i prefer to think of them as any pair of brothers, sometimes quarrelsome, capable of teasing each other (raise your hand if you haven't teased your brother/sister at least once in your life, come on) but absolutely willing to have each other's back.

Word count: 2798.

English is not my first language, please be kind.

It always started like that, with your breathing slowly becoming shallow and scattered, with your hands moving quickly trying to grab –or stop– something. Aemond notices immediately, as soon as he hears your breathing change suddenly in the middle of the night: one minute you are sleeping relatively peacefully, the next you are breathing as if you were drowning. He knows that shortly afterwards will also come the shakes and screams, a witness that that night continues to haunt you.

"There is nothing at all you can do about?"

Orwyle shook his head, contrite: there was nothing that could soothe the mental pain as poppy milk did to the physical one.

It was not the same pain.

Aemond shifts more towards you, slipping an arm under your neck and one around your waist, drawing you to himself just in time, before you could gesture in your sleep, lest you hurt yourself, whimpering as if what you are dreaming about you were re-experiencing again, in that very moment.

"Y/N?" he whispers as you start to cry, leaving him undecided on what to do. You call out for him several times in your sleep, your voice increasingly full of anguish. "I'm here!"

He realises he has no idea what to do, whether to wake you up or to leave you to sleep, waiting for the nightmare to fade on its own: Orwyle has recommended that he should not force you to wake up, but at the same time he cannot watch you suffer without doing anything to help you.

You call out to him once more, frightened, and this time he sees you laying a hand on your heart, your breathing increasingly shaky, as if you were ranting.

The hell with it.

He sits up and takes you back into his arms, cradling you like he used to do with your son.

"Y/N, wake up. It's all right, i'm here!" he tells you. "I know you can hear me, wake up!"

You blurt out something he can't understand and open your eyes wide, glassy, almost lifeless. He grabs your shoulder, shouting your name and shaking you out of your sleep. You finally wake up after so many interminable seconds, with a gasp that reminds him of a person who has been underwater too long and resurfaces a few moments before the end: your eyes return awake and bright, your heartbeat almost regular.

His own, much less so.

"Aem?"

Full of relief, he strokes your head, letting go a sigh.

"Tell me."

"Blood, Aem. It's everywhere. I can't get it off of my hands." you say, with an hoarse voice.

Its metallic stench seeps into your nostrils, forcing you to hold your breath and turn to him, sinking your nose into his tunic: one more second of that smell and you throw up, you're sure.

He takes your hand in his and shows it to you.

"Nothing's there, look." he tells you. "Look at me: it's all gone, it was a nightmare."

You look around, discovering that you are not in your son's room, but in yours, patrolled day and night by guards. You are safe.

You hear Aemond respond to Ser Criston, ordering him something you cannot understand, as flashes of the nightmare that tortures you since that night return to your mind.

"Oh gods, again?"

"Yes, and i should have consulted the maesters much earlier, because it gets worse every time. I'm so afraid you would never wake up again."

The bandage on your arm is still in place, your nightgown is still pristine white and your hands are clean. You shove your face into Aemond's chest, sighing a plea.

"No more, Gods, please, no more."

"I'll send for Orwyle."

"No, please, i'm not going to chug another one of his nasty sleeping concoctions... and i don't want to be considered crazy."

"We are two grieving parents, no one would dare think that."

You sigh. Every court holds a nest of vipers, and yours is no exception.

"Not in our presence, Aem, that's for sure. But i can assure you they speak widely about us. People's tongues can be far sharper than their swords." you reply. "I'm doing everything i can to move on even though it may seem insensitive from me, but it's so hard."

"I would never think that." he replies.

"You wouldn't, but i hear the voices of the whole court behind my back, to them i am now the crazy, childless mother and..." and something you cannot repeat, not in front of Aemond.

"Who said that?"

"Some women, i don't really remember who, nevermind." you try to cut it short, aware that you already talked too much and especially aware of what Aemond might do if he found out who was responsible for those rumours.

"And they were women amongst noble women or the servants?"

"You can punish them, but, you will not stop those voices, you know how it is. I just have to wait for their quacking to move on to the next topic, until then i will resist. It's nothing, really."

He returns your embrace, but deep inside you know he is already thinking about what to do to flush out whoever started the rumours and you also know how damn difficult it is to change his mind if something directly affects you: once he has set his focus to something, nothing can stop him.

"I almost forgot to tell you that Helaena tried to distract me, she helped me with a new embroidery and showed me some insects i'd never seen before, you know? I love strolling with her and the twins in the gardens, but i have a strange feeling in my stomach since it happened, like i have a knot i can't untie. I feel like i'm burning up inside and i don't know what to do." you murmur. "And in all this i have to ask for your forgiveness: i haven't asked yet how are you doing, i'm selfish."

His breath quivers a little before he answers you.

"I live with the memory of that night: i should have been here instead of patrolling King's Landing with Vhagar. They wanted me, and they took our son. You want to know how i come to terms with what happened? I spend my mornings in the dungeons, executing the death-row prisoners... my sword has never seen so much blood since it was forged."

".... and does it work?"

"Not in the way i would like. When i plunge my sword into their flesh i imagine sinking it into Daemon's throat." explains. "Even if he deserves a far worse death for what he has done."

Aemond didn't tell you that he still see every little detail. The rough stitches around your son's neck, his corpse, his bed soaked in blood.

You stroke his cheek understandingly, like you do every time you hear him crying in the safe space of your bed.

"I miss our little boy."

"I know. I would like to have another child, i know i owe you one but i'm not ready yet."

"Listen, you owe me nothing. If more children will come, fine. I will not put pressure on you, i'm already happy to still have you here. Do you understand what i mean? Don't get me wrong, i loved our son, i really did, and i mourn him every day, but to me you're the most important person i have."

As he is for you. You smile lovingly, but suddenly your gaze changes.

"I want them dead. Both of them. They must suffer. I must see their blood spill onto the ground. Maybe then i will begin to find peace."

He looks at you a little, before clearing his throat.

"I'll help you get dressed." he explains. "I'll take you with me to the dungeons."

Aegon greets you with a wide smile, in his own reassuring way, amazed to find you there.

"Imagine the uproar if our mother found out."

"It's either this or me burning the whole realm to the ground."

"Dragonstone alone would be enough... imagine burning the whole castle down with those bastards inside them."

"Don't tempt me. You told me you would do anything to ease the anger i feel, and you're still doing it." Aemond says. "Now i ask you to do the same thing for Y/N. You know to whom i refer."

"I want those two." you murmur.

"Yes, there were two, but i already had one hanged." Aegon explains. "I had all the fucking rat-catchers hanged. But if you wish, i will give orders for their families to die as well: all i need is your yes, and within an hour i will bring you the heads of their children."

That offer goes straight to your brain, piercing it like a dart and insinuating a dangerous temptation. It is frightening how you even allow yourself to think about it, to indulge in the idea of inflicting the same pain on other women, like yourself wives, sisters, daughters, mothers. Probably the same women you saw during the funeral procession, the ones who threw flowers at your son, who wept as you passed by and cursed the name of Rhaenyra, women who were already living under difficult conditions. But then, you think back to all the blood spilled that night, the blood that had soaked your hands and your son's tunic, the blood that dripped down from the wound they had inflicted on your arm, in a vain and desperate attempt to save your child.

You think back to Aemond and his burning guilt, to the way he threw that little tunic into the fireplace, to the way he clutched your hand when he ordered Vhagar to light the funeral pyre, to his desperate weeping smothered against your shoulder after the funeral when, embraced in the comforting privacy of your rooms, you could no longer tell who was consoling whom.

You can't.

Considering how hard you struggled to change Aemond's mind, when, lost in the pain of both of you, he had been on the verge of burning down the whole town.

"And once we've set everyone on fire, what are we going to do, Aemond?"

You shake your head, and the answer that rose to your lips to Aegon's question was the same one you gave Aemond.

"No. Smallfolk of King's Landing are not to blame, and killing their children will not bring mine back." you look instinctively at Aemond, standing next to you, with the awareness that they would both only need a nod from you, and place your hand on his chest. "Responsibles must die, but there are women and men out there already struggling every single day to survive with their own problems without having to pay for ours as well. Don't do anything more against the poor people, Aegon, please. Aemond, i beg you."

He scrutinises you attentively, and cannot ignore your eyes glazed with tears.

"If that is what you wish, so be it." he replies in a whisper, rubbing your hand with his own. "I won't do anything you don't want."

"You are far too generous, my lady." Aegon finally sighs. He leads you out of the guards' cabin, towards an isolated cell where Aemond unsheathes his sword, and the prisoner winces, knowing full well what is about to happen: he has heard the screams of the other inmates, the sinister sound of that sword, and the precise and lethal manner in which the prince uses it. He knows that Aemond shows no mercy, and that that rage will now fall upon him.

"I don't want to suffer." he whimpers, looking at the blade: Aemond has a habit of twisting it in the throat of the unfortunate, he has heard so many choke like that, in their blood, with that blade buried in their flesh.

"He is not going to execute you." Aegon replies, smiling. "It all depends on her."

He remembers you well, he remembers your voice, your face transfigured by horror, he remembers that night as much as you do.

"Please..." he begs, and after this, you can smell the stingy smell of the urine that dampens his filthy trousers.

"Not yet, Aem. I might need it later." you say, declining his sword.

"Oh, fuck." Aemond mutters, catching a glimpse of the long wooden plank on which a varied array of tools, lined up in religious order, make an eerie display: he certainly didn't plan for something like this.

"You don't like it, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't like it too."

Aegon shows you a rack with a few weapons, some too heavy for you, while others useless for the purpose, carefully explaining what each was for and what damage they could inflict.

Aemond remains aloof, focused on you, ready to take you back to your shared rooms at the slightest sign of discomfort.

"Let's make it simple before someone here decides to use something on me. May i suggest this spiked mace? Simple yet effective, you'll see. Here, take it. Joints first: ankles, knees, elbows... and don't forget wrists. Then, the small bones like those of feet and hands. Though, be careful not to hit vital points first or you'll miss all the fun. When you'll have enough you can decide whether to finish him or letting Vhagar do it, okay? It's up to you." says Aegon.

"Vhagar doesn't eat shit." protests Aemond, looking at the prisoner.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." observes Criston Cole in a barely audible whisper, watching you weigh the spiked mace in your hands, looking for the best grip on the handle. It's heavy, way more heavier than Aemond's sword.

"Keep your hands more apart on the handle or you will end up hurting yourself. Good, like this."

"Your Grace, you know she is so out of her she won't be able to kill him on the first blow, right?"

"Of course i do. That's the beauty of it: Vhagar will be a relief in comparison to her rage."

Your first blow hits the prisoner's left knee, smashing it with a loud grunt: his scream leaves you wanting to hit harder. Both Aemond and Aegon take a step back, letting you do what it pleases you without saying a word to stop you.

There's no turning back now. Not that you want it.

They look at you in silence for a few minutes in the disturbing atmosphere of the cell, a silence interrupted only by your grunts and the prisoner's screams, Aegon with a certain smile on his lips, Aemond with a look somewhere between worried and surprised, as if he found impossible that a woman like you, capable of compassion and love, the same woman who birthed your son and whom he watches playing with his nephews, could be the same fury that is mangling a man three times your size.

"You know Aemond, contrary to what you think, i also used to make a few trips to the library."

"In between wanking? Amazing."

Aegon ignored his teasing, focusing on another blow you're about to inflict on the prisoner's lower limbs.

"Hey hey hey... enough with the knees, honey, may i suggest you the shoulders, now? ...great, right there, that's it... see how the mace smashed the joint? Brilliant, isn't it? I may not have studied philosophy and history, brother, but you have no idea how many books banned by our Septon i have read. I'm sure that book about torture might interest you too."

"I'm not fond to torture, for too much can be counterproductive: once one gets used to pain, the whole thing became pointless. Hence i have to admit sometimes is quite useful."

"If this is her way of not going mad, let her. Let her vent."

A metallic clung interrupts them both: you have dropped the mace to the ground, exhausted, after inflicting one last blow. You look at what remains of the murderer's head with a soft "what the hell? " and wonder at what point in your murderous outburst he is dead, and how many blows you have inflicted on his corpse.

"Holy shit, Y/N." Aegon says looking at you almost covered in blood, like the stone floor and the wall behind the corpse strewn with human remains, blood and cerebral matter. "Oh wow. Look at it, it was awesome."

"Aem?"

"Yes darling?"

"I think i won't need the sword after all. Thank you, by the way." you say. "I'm done."

"Well sure, there's nothing more left to hit, sweetie. We're so proud of you." Aegon praise you, with glowing eyes. The dungeons are now more like a slaughterhouse than a prison, but you don't mind it. "Fine Aem, got it: never piss off your wife."

[yanderespamton78]

sometimes i feel like toby fox made spamton and the addisons especially for people to hyperfixate on. everything about them seems so perfect for people to go rabid about its insane to me

for one, spamton himself pretty much counts for 4 people, those being addispam, big shot spamton, in game spamton, and spamton neo. now sure you mostly see people going rabid about in game spamton but ive seen plenty of people who are obsessed with a version we dont get to see on screen

secondly, even the main in game spamton himself is kinda up to interpretation. loads of people characterise him differently. if i compared two aus to eachother theyd often be very different and depending on the ones i chose could be almost like 2 different people, and then if i compared those to in-game spamton, theyd still be very different. also since you dont see addispam and big shot spamton on screen you dont even know what they acted like so again basically you can make your own guy to fixate on with a few prompts as to what he was like

dont even get me started on the addisons. now im biased as fuck here seeing that ive been fixated on the addisons for like 6 months now (send help) but toby fox basically gave us 4 templates for us to have fun with. sure based off of in game dialogue you have a bit to go off of when it comes to their personality (pink being an asshole and blue being caring for example) but even then every addison in every different au is slightly different and i have never seen two addisons turn out exactly the same. ALSO you dont even know the relationship these characters have to spamton meaning you can have them be siblings, you can have them be friends, or you can ship them based off of what you enjoy. OR you could just ignore them altogether (which a lot of people do lmao)

also another thing is the fact that you dont necessarily need to have your addisons' personalities just reflect off of spamtons. I mean the main 4 addisons give you enough to go off of to make your own, and you are given cyber city, an entire fantasy world for you to put them in. cyber city again is up to interpretation, some people have it be like a normal city, some people make it a utopia, some people make it a hellscape. the choice is yours!!

and even then in game spamton is so versatile. he is perfect for angsty stuff, fluffy stuff, or jsut silly stuff, and none of it is out of character. you couldnt really make an angsty spongebob edit could you, itd be weird and out of characer and no one would take it seriously. but also you couldnt make a silly walten files video, sure people do but its out of character and wouldnt actually happen canonically. but spamton on the other hand. hes the kinda guy who you can draw holding a wallet in his mouth like a cat and generally being silly but also you could draw him sobbing at the bottom of dumpster and neither would be out of character!! AAAA

also extra thing i thought id add but his backstory is also very up to interpretation, like i dont think ive ever seen two people who think spamtons rise and downfall went exactly the same. sure everyone has the same general idea of how it went but some people believe in acid theory, some people believe in puppetification theory, some people have a mix of both, some people have their own idea of how it went down, and with that you can project different parts of your own trauma onto whatever happened to him.

ok sorry that was so long thank you for reading my very biased ramble about why spamton is perfect byeeee

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

ok so I know this is a petty hill to die on, but I know you're 1- a really huge blog that lots of people see, and 2- a decent person, so I’m hoping you can hear that I’m not trying to be antagonistic or anything.

anyway- you tagged that wicked post with "I feel like they've trauma bonded" or something similar, which is really funny, but one thing- that's not what a trauma bond is, and as a victim of actual trauma bonding, I’m on something of a mission to correct the way ppl have been misusing the term.

to quote psychology today, "A trauma bond is an emotional attachment that can form in an abusive relationship, specifically the connection the victim feels toward the perpetrator. A trauma bond is characterized by cycles of negative reinforcement interspersed with occasional bursts of positive reinforcement; this so-called intermittent reinforcement makes it very difficult to leave an abusive relationship."

anyway, I don't mean to be rude or presumptuous or anything, I’m just trying to get the word out lol

i dont think thats rude or petty at all! you're being the opposite of antagonistic rn i wouldn't blame you if you came up a bit aggressively even, its a reasonable thing to be turned a bit sideways about.

ive always understood a trauma bond to be a bond two people forge due to a shared trauma, like two unhealthily close siblings surviving together under a shared abusive parent. but now that i know its actually more like self justification the abused child utilizes to keep their abuser parent as a loving caretaker in their mind to protect their own sanity, i know not to describe it like that first way anymore.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to learn more about it so i dont make any further mistakes and can do my part to help others understand too <3

[spinnysocks]

hehehehe i'm glad you enjoyed my rambles!! i'll talk about Heatherpaw's mentor in the tags :3! i'm not planning to make Heatherpaw an official healer, unless the clan doesn't have enough then he would be a good option, but he will take up a campkeeper role methinks. instead of the usual campkeeper duties of fixing dens or ensuring walls are secure, i think he'd be checking up on every cat :]

i'm really glad you found the oddly specific relationship between Houndroar and Heatherpaw interesting! to be honest i didn't pay much attention to it before this ask, so for that i'm really grateful to expand on Heatherpaw's thoughts and feelings more!

ikr? he really respects the torties haha. i see that you've sent me an ask for Tumbleblaze and Azurite which i am so excited to answer!! i will give you the tortie ladies content soon :33

EHEHEE cookie!!! i hope she was/is happy to hear about her tortie siblings!!

😺🐀🐾🌟🌷🍀 for the clangen ask game for this guy(/gn)!! they look most like a tortie so I picked ‘em cause cookie’s a tortie too :3c

BOUNCING AROUND IN EXCITEMENT YIPPEE YIPPEE

i love how you circled him!!! /gen, silly, vpos. the little guy in question is Heatherpaw! to be honest i don't actually know all that much about him as he only joined 4 moons (months) ago but i am very excited to answer nonetheless :3

😸 3 random facts!

okie dokie! Heatherpaw is bold and oddly observant. he is the only one out of his litter who isn't ginger. his mentor was a suspected murderer at one point :]

🐀 favourite prey?

i think his favourite prey would be rabbit!

🐾 do they prefer a wide circle of friends, or a few close ones? who’s their best friend?

he doesn't have any friends :[ he has a lot of respect for the older warriors, and likes to do kind things for them, but he isn't friends with anyone yet. he's too new to the clan i suppose, and his bold personality might put off some cats haha. for now, his best friend is his closest sibling, Sagepaw!

🌟 do they have any special powers or abilities?

okay so when i read this question i immediately thought of superpowers, which none of my cats have, but now this thought is planted in my brain and i have IDEAS. time for superpower cats in my clan!!!. but not Heatherpaw sadly. maybe if he develops more of a role, but for now he's just a super observant apprentice with a lot to learn and a life to craft for himself haha

🌷what are some of their quirks and other mannerisms?

oooh, what a fun question! well, heatherpaw was born as a loner in the wild with only his mother and siblings, so his entire way of life used to come from just his mother. she, Tumbleblaze, actually used to be a travelling healer, so i like to think that Heatherpaw helps so many older warriors because he observed / heard stories about what his mother did to help others. she's a healer in SpringClan as well, so he definitely still copies her example :]

🍀 what is a secret they’re hiding?

oooo... i would say his only secret is that he hates a cat called Houndroar, who is part of a family line who are notorious for turning traitor and leading attacks against the clan. Houndroar is only 15 moons old, and his own mentor was actually killed by his uncle in one said attack when he was an apprentice, so there's nothing specific that Houndroar could have done to make Heatherpaw angry at him, but Heatherpaw hates him nonetheless. i think, in his youthful ignorance, Heatherpaw doesn't understand that it isn't Houndroar's fault that he comes from that family. he has a bias against them. i also think Heatherpaw is quite proud of his own family, especially because of his strict-natured but incredible mother, so in his mind he's willing to put down other families who aren't as great as his, y'know? .... sorry for rambling so heavily gsgfhdjs

also, COOKIE MENTION!!! /silly, vpos. also ×2, i am sorry to tell you that Heatherpaw isn't a tortie! he's just a dark brown tabby — don't worry, it was just the lighting from where i took the picture on my phone haha. have some actual torties for compensation! :D

Tumbleblaze (Heatherpaw's mother) and Azurite (a senior warrior who Heatherpaw is trying to befriend)! i really thought i had more torties but turns out they've all either died or are outside the clan 😭 Tumble and Azurite out here carrying the tortie population on their backs /silly

[missmarveledsblog]

It's only pretend right ? ( Bucky barnes x reader) Part 4

summary : after such a good night she bring bucky to show him where they were sleeping which was also her childhood bedroom . finding new thing he never knew as she see what nat and wanda packed for her bedtime attire leading to one of a few moments the two have , she is faced to deal with the past fears while tony stumble on to something to cure his boredom

warning: ok so i know i said it was a fluffy series but there's a little bit of angst but it's for plot but its mostly fluffy , allusion to past trauma , shitty family , her sibling being goals and steve and nat being well honestly the GOATS .

Previous part

The night ended on good note as she led him to her room , trying to steady her nerves  . while a nervous Bucky was  taking in the space , girly and yet not a perfect balance that described Y/N  to a T. He walked around exploring the space chuckling at the books on her desk, volumes of science and engineering books.  He noticed the army leaflets  already knowing her family were very big on it, giving her grandfather and other men with the exception of Jack . 

“Were  you going to enlist?” he asked, holding it up . 

“ I was then but well i didn’t” she smiled sadly.

 “ Well your job now isn’t far off” he mused. 

“Why do you think i like it so much , youngest female avenger too which is an achievement” she beamed.

 “ Hey no, I feel like a creepy old man when you say that,” he joked.

 “ I mean 107 and your fake girlfriend is 24 practically a cradle snatcher” she mused a squeaked when he pounced on her knocking her on to the bed bursting into a fit of giggles as he tickled her side. “Ok ok tapping out” she panted eyes locked on the man above her . she could fully appreciate the full extent of the blue of his eyes , once filled with such sorrow and coldness now sparkling like the clearest ocean. She felt it like a magnetic pull as his face came closer to hers .

“ hey you two keep it down” her brother banged the door, his voice a teasing and jestering tone but the two separated and moments before lost. 

“  we should sleep  , you got church run tomorrow” she almost whispered. 

“ Yeah, where is that?” he snorted, trying to calm his own heart beat down. He was sure he was going to kiss her and even more sure she was going to kiss him back . 

“ GPS will be your best friend , i’ll get Jessie tag along , grandma can’t say no” she shrugged, opening her case only for her cheek to go deep red. “ I'm going to kill those two” she whined, seeing the bed clothes consisted of a short night dress or crop top and shorts. 

“ you ok doll?” he asked. “ yeah nat and wanda packed the case and well..” she held up the night dress making his throat instantly dry up . 

“fuck” he muttered wondering if the widow was intending on killing him. “ it’s nice .. i mean perfect for the heat” he rambled trying to think of anything else. She pulled out shorts although short still better  to put under the night dress as she headed to her bathroom .

 “ I'm going to die” was all Bucky said before the door opened and she shyly walked out .  He stood not knowing whether to praise god for the sight or curse him given the situation.  She honestly looked ethereal walking out of that bathroom as the clothing of choice hugged her body in every right way that was possible. 

“ I can see if my mama has something,” she said, flushing. 

“ no you look cozy doll” he smiled grabbing the tank top and plaid bottom he would hoped hid how he really thought she looked.  

Laying on the bed after texting her fellow female avengers some colorful messages on their choice of her bed clothes , she looked up, almost dropping her phone when the bathroom door opened. She didn’t know what was going to kill her first , her embarrassment of how exposed she was sharing the bed with her best friend she was in love with or the man in question looking like sex on legs . seeing bucky either partially clothed or shirtless sent her into a short circuited mess, no matter how many times she had seen it was always like the first time. The way her mouth simultaneously went dry and  water  all in one as her eyes raked over his muscled form.  Every toned muscle almost fought the confines of his tank top , to which she was grateful and personally offended at the item of clothing . 

 “ Your grandmother isn’t going to make me go into the church with her right” the question from his lips snapping her from the  trance she was in . 

“ no … i’m not sure” she tilted her head. 

“ I'm pretty sure I might burst into a ball of flames if I step foot in a church now,” he chuckled .

 “ don't do that last time it happened, the pastor passed out” the words out of her mouth made his head turn to see if she was joking or not but she was serious. “ i didn’t know how to control my abilities or as my family keep calling it my gift” she snorted seeing the shock on his face.

 “ Speaking of , you never told you how you got them , I mean none of the team knows,” he said, only to see  a shiver run down her spine and pain expression on her face. 

“ I don't talk about it fury and nat know and wanda because she saw it in my head but i don’t talk about it” her voice trembled and eyes  filled with tears.

 “ hey hey it’s ok we’re not going to talk about it , hey doll sorry look lets rest ok come here” he rubbed her cheek pulling her to his side  hands running up and down her back . he could feel her calming down at the motion . When he looked down to see  her eyes getting heavy and closing . He let himself enjoy the moment , how her eyelashes grace the tops of her cheeks , plump pink lips parting slightly. The even beats her heart before he hit the lights . For the first time in his life Bucky Barnes fell asleep with a smile on his face . 

Sun peaking throughout  the room when he was the one to wake first. Sound of muffled whispers forgotten instantly when he felt her head nuzzling in the crook of his neck , her arm across his chest and her leg over his . he didn’t even think but he felt himself pulling her closer to his body making a little whimper fall from her lips that was the moment he was sure he turned to a puddle on the bed . His eyes closed as the door swung open . 

“ hey … erm wake up” Jack's voice almost trembled in the room keeping his distance at the door. 

“ Go away” she groaned before freezing up at the position she’d realized she was in . 

“ Come on , you too bucky” he called a bit further away . 

 “ I'm up” he rasped, making her bite her lip hard at the sounds that threatened to spill out . the sexy gravel of his voice made her brain go blank. “ baby doll” this man was surely going to kill her. “ time to get up” his head lifted, kissing her cheek eliciting a sound that none of them ever heard out of the girl in the morning before . “ Did she just … she giggled” Jessie almost sent his little brother flying when he barged into the room, shocked at the sound.

 “ Get out before I’ll make you bald with no eyebrows,” she glared. 

“ You did  giggle doll,” he chuckled. 

“ yeah ok , morning sarge” she yawned . The nickname made all blood in the man's body rush down south in turn making him rush towards the bathroom confusing her slightly. 

“  hey giggles park that ass” Izzy held up the brush as her younger sister whined.  “ hey we need , well i need to tell you something since you scared off the other two” her voice dropped slightly. 

“ if it’s because you're nervous don't be, maya will say yes' ' the younger sister smiled brightly. '' no it’s not that .. look we aint happy about it either but Emma , Leah and Cassie are coming for breakfast” she instantly felt her sister shake. “ hey hey look at me , we can go out for breakfast , we don’t have to be here” Izzy crouched down seeing the fear in her eyes. 

“ sorry nature called… hey what wrong” bucky rushed to her side.  

“ our cousin.. She ever tells you how she got her gift .. of course she didn't , now our cousins  well. They say what happened was an accident which is a pile of horse shit  but it was her gift that came after  , she was hurt badly .. like we didn’t .. sorry we didn’t think she would make it “ izzy explained fighting back the tears. 

"Why are they here then?” Bucky asked, seeing it wasn’t just her finding it difficult to talk about whatever happened and to say he was curious wasn’t a lie. 

“ some bullshit they fed mama about grandma getting old  , we ain’t happy , dads not happy” she seethed.

 “ Cassie was a kid she’s not like them” Y/N Said softly remembering the poor girl's face just as terrified as she was.

 “Apparently they want time with grandma since she is not getting younger it’s pile of crap and  for some reason the folks on my mama’s side , well for some reason they're always hard on her after the whole thing they’ve been worse , i’m sure you’ve clued in on that” . 

“ Just let's get this over with. I'm fine , I've fought aliens , talked to a tree and a raccoon from space so i can do this” Y/N  Shook her head walking to her bathroom . “ Did she just say a raccoon and tree from space?”. 

“ The tree’s  ok , the raccoon got hell of a shot but bit of an ass” Bucky agreed. 

“ i … what” izzy stood completely confused to the change of conversation . 

She walked out wearing the summer dress , the prettiest of the ones she owned,  wanting to look somewhat good ,   only to see Bucky standing there with a sympathetic smile on his face, making her truly regret bringing him  in first place. 

“ ready?” she asked . 

“ We can go out and tell them it's a date,” he smiled softly. 

“ no i can do it” she stood straighter, his arm linking in hers. She only got to the middle of the stair when she heard them laughing, making her shake only to shake it off before continuing down the stairs. 

“ I'm here doll” he whispered, kissing her cheek letting his lips linger on her skin . “ Hey kitty saved you and bucky a seat” Jessie called, turning everyone’s attention to the two .

 “ Oh my god look at you girl”  the two eldest girls rushed to her side pulling her into a hug making her tense completely up and the flames flicker on her finger causing bucky to pull her to him wrapping his arm around her waist  probably enjoying more than he should. “ And who is this?” the woman's eyes almost ate him whole. 

“  I'm her boyfriend James Barnes” he nodded, barely smiled to the girl's dismay but kept the flirty grins all for y/n and affection looking towards her  . 

“ So  it’s true you are an avenger how about that, did you show james around town” the woman spoke barely sparing her cousin a glance. 

“ Not yet actually we’re going to go after we drop grandma to church” she smiled. It was so fake and forced, causing her siblings to share worried glances. 

“ doll let's get our seats” he kissed her cheek again nuzzling his face in hers making her giggle. 

“Oh he is so mine” the woman whispered to her sister before they walked into the dinning room . 

“ good to see the silliness is done with” her aunt spoke up . 

“ attempted murder isn’t exactly silliness,” Jessie gritted, even causing Bucky to shoot the man . 

“ What was that?” her aunt asked. 

“ oh he's just happy to be home” Y/N gave that fake smile .

 “ So what, like being avenger do you guys get invited to parties and stuff” . 

“ Emma, their avengers of course they do”her aunt smiled obviously seeing what her daughter was at.

 “Yeah but we prefer not going to them. Attention seeking isn’t exactly what we do it, "Bucky shrugged. 

“ my friends think it’s so cool your avenger” cassie spoke up, almost afraid to even talk. 

“ Maybe we could Facetime them when we're back” she smiled softly to the girl.

 “ We'd like to facetime too, maybe visit?” . 

“ we’re busy all the time, sorry,” Bucky shrugged, making her smirk.

 “ oh i get that so how new is this since you guys aren’t in the press” emma smiled .

 “ si…” she went to speak. “ a year right” her dad smiled looking at bucky. 

“ yeah we thought to enjoy our time instead of the world” bucky lied easily .

 “ keeping that secret from your family,” her aunt shook her head. 

“  she doesn't talk to you guys all the time ,we knew '' Izzy smiled checking her phone just as Y/N went off. 

“  it's tony?” she furrowed her brows. 

“ we better take this , it could be urgent. '' Bucky  smiled secretly thankful for stark interruption as the two headed for her fathers office . 

“ What's wrong, everyone, ok” she asked, instantly answering the phone. 

“can’t a guy call his friends,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“ Who said we’re friends?” bucky asked.  

“ Hey you kill my parents, the least you can do is be my friend” tony teased.

 “ you can’t keep pulling dead parents  card.. Tony why did you ring  and please tell me this is a long conversation” she asked.

 “ ok well nat on her way so is steve they left after your sister rang this morning  , you ok?” he asked clearly, knowing more than he was letting on .

 “ you read my file,” she sighed. 

“ Only the locked part , my lips are sealed well. Steve read it too but after that lips seal” he winked. 

“ Fury told me he was going to get rid of it” she whispered. 

“ Well he didn’t but really kid you ok” he asked more seriously. 

“ As much as i’d love to let you talk in code but the jet's landing” Bucky called looking out the window.

 “ oh shit , bye tony here talk to your guilt trip bestie ” she threw bucky her phone before heading out the front door ignoring the calls of her family.  The minute the jet door opened and the angry redhead  was storming out nothing was scarier than a pissed off widow.

 “ Hey nat wait” she stood in front of the widow. 

“ hey good see you, they in there?” she went to walk around what nat didn’t expect was her best friend to hop on her back .

 “ You can’t beat up my family members, even the shittiest ones, please stop for me” she pouted, making nat’s movement halt. 

“ I won't beat them up , there are many ways to kill a person” she smirked .

 “ no ok i’m not letting anyone stoop to their level please.. Wait did you say kill ” her eyes widened .

 “ Fine but I'm staying till they're gone and I don't mean today I mean when they go back home completely” she moved, smiling and waving to the audience forming on her front porch. 

“ Natasha, what a lovely surprise,” her mother smiled. 

“ hello beth sorry for crashing but i was  missing my favorite avenger so was steve” nat smiled . 

“You guys didn’t need to come out for me,” Bucky teased. 

“ They're talking about me bucket ” Y/N smiled, turning to Steve, catching a frown on his face . “ smile cap” she whispered only for the PR smile to grace his face. 

“ nice to meet you all” he smiled only for a high pitched shriek to come out and all head turning to jack .

 “Steve jack here is your biggest fan” she laughed as her brother's cheek was bright red.

 “ all of you guys  i mean we got three avengers here” she could have sworn the man was going to float at one stage.  

“ well aren’t we lucky to have two gorgeous beefcakes here? '' Emma and Leah lit up. “ Do we sound creepy like that?” Izzy asked. 

“ Nah, they're like shining twins, we’re more cool twins ” Jack said, ignoring the glares his way. 

“ How long are you staying?” Beth beamed. 

“ As long as Y/N is , if that’s ok  “ nat smiled as they all made their way into the house what the rest didn’t notice was the terror twins pushing in front of Y/N So they were directly  behind bucky and steve. 

“ Great” she trailed behind only for Jessie to stand at the door waiting for her with a mischievous smile on his face.

 “What did you do?” she arched her brow. 

“ nothing at all” he held the bottle of laxatives up . 

“ oh loki would love you” she chuckled as they headed into the room seeing her mother bringing an extra plate of food for nat and steve. 

“ You didn’t have to do that ma’am but thank you ” Steve nodded. 

“ So you got a girlfriend steve” leah purred  even their grandmother grimaced.

 “ no but i called dib on Y/N if he screws up sam and pietro didn’t like that” he teased laughing when bucky glared at him .

 “ Some say  I should be a model. What do you think, bucky?” Emma batted her lashes. “ i love that dress on you y/n” nat smiled softly. 

“ Nat’s right You look beautiful doll” Bucky flashed her flirty grin .

 “ Emma you ok” Jessie asked faux concern as they all looked at the suddenly sweaty girl .  the loud gurgles making her cheek turn beet red. 

“ you look clammy dear” . 

“ i don’t feel so ..oh my god” she ran out the door a loud noise following after.

 “ Hey, wait me first,” Leah chased . 

“ Jesus, what’s that smell?” Bucky yelled . 

“ Let's take grandma to church” she got up as Jessie smoothly threw the bottle only for Cassie to laugh. 

“ What are you laughing at” her mother screeched, running to check on her other two daughters.

 “ nothing mom” she snorted before taking the bottle from y/n and hiding it in a vase giving her older cousin a wink .

 “ What did you do?” Nat asked with a proud smile on her lips . 

“ I didn't “ . 

“ i did” jessie walked out proud as punch  . 

“ you ready ma'am?” Bucky asked, holding the door open. 

“ Of course I am , now you listen here young man you don’t let a girl like her go or else maybe super cadet or whatever but she’s my grandchild ” she warned just as y/n came out the house. 

“ Got your bag grandmama” she beamed.

“ Thank you dear” the woman nodded as Bucky closed the door . 

“ you ok bucky?” she asked, wondering if the whole thing was too much .

 “ I think she threatened me,” he  whispered, opening her door for her. 

“ Doubt it black sheep of the family” she snorted before he closed the door.

 “ we will collect you after ok grandma i’ll show bucky around” she called. 

“ Hopefully, air the house out before we get back” the older woman grumbled, causing the two to break out in laughter.  

“ if it isn’t i’ll get you the top room in the best hotel” she wiped the tears from her eyes. “ They pay you enough for that,” the woman asked. 

“ course” she lied putting tony’s black card in her bag making bucky chuckled .

 “ How do you get that?” he asked.  

“ gave a stark big hug” she winked. 

“ ok let’s get this fine lady to church” he shook his head. 

 “ you ready to get your praying on grandma” she cheered . 

“ It's a church not a hip hop concert don’t be silly” the woman tried hiding the smile but Bucky caught it in the rear view mirror .

The drive into town was a nice change of pace compared to the events of the morning they had . But also gave her realization of guilt that she hidden so  much and basically had him blindly walk into the chaos that was her family . So when they waved her grandmother off and reassured the pastor she wasn't going in making the holy man pale and rush off , she was going to be more open with him . 

“ Ok time for the grand tour , no flash photography  and stay with the group please “ she said dramatically.

 “ Very authentic doll “ he chuckled, linking his arm in her, something they did normally yet the touches lately felt different, somehow more intimate. 

“ It's nice here , less chaotic than New York that's for sure “ he smiled, moving his arm to wrap it around her shoulder when he noticed men looking at her .

 “ I love it here but I love New York. Both are home , both have family which is funny because when I blindly followed eli to new york at first I was  freshly gone 19 . He wanted to be wallstreet, I wanted to support him much use that did two days later I was on my own , scared trying to figure out how get home when dude tried to mug me , I may have burnt him a little but cop seen me put me in a cell ,all I kept thinking i was ET” she mused.

 “ E.T ? “ he snorted.

 “ you know the part about the guys in white coats , but I got a bald man with eye patch and trench coat giving me a job “ . 

"Wait, that's how you ended up in shield?” He asked .

“ the very same  a year later on the day I was twenty fury called nat and wanda down to train me because I may have burnt an agent or two” she bit her lip making him wish it was him biting it instead , or how the sunlight hit her like her own person spotlight showing her beauty even more . “ a week later I bump into this grumpy bear of a guy who gave out to me” she elbowed him softly. 

“ I remember the little spitfire shield agent giving as good as she got” he nudged her back catching her when she stumbled forward. 

“ you know that day may be bad for you but was best day of my life” she smiled . 

 “ I thought the best day of your life was 2 years ago when fury finally let us have you “ he teased .

 “ nah definitely  4 years ago when my little 20 year old self sassed the old man who happens to be her favorite  person and best friend” she giggled when he spun her to face him. 

“ old man?” He leaned forward that magnetic pull once again .

 “ Very “ she bit her lip, a pink flush across her cheek , heart beating so face he wasn't sure if it was hers or his  or both .

 “ you know that morning Wanda read me my horoscope and I laughed at her but  I never doubted it when I met you '' he leaned in more, almost ghosting her lips .

 '' What did it say ” she asked, leaning in. 

“ hey kitty” a voice called, making her head turn  and bucky wanting to punch whoever owned the voice . 

“ Eli”she almost growled

 “ Look I know you're still mad at me but I mean it worked out for you” he smiled almost like he was taking credit. 

“ yeah it did lead me to the best job and boyfriend a girl could have “ she leaned up kissing his cheek. 

“ yeah i see that” he nodded smile faltering the longer they stood .

 “ Look I came over because I heard they were there and  I wanted to make sure you're ok” he said she could almost see the honesty . 

“ i’m fine nat and steve came by so i didn’t have to think about it long enough” she shrugged. 

“ wait as in black widow and captain america “ he almost sounded annoyed which was strange for her both he and jack both love avengers another reason he wanted to live in New york . 

“ that a problem?” Bucky asked. 

“ no i just didn’t expect so many avengers to be here … anyways i got to go” he rushed off almost knocking her down only for Bucky to catch her . 

 “ That was strange right?” He looked down at her .

 “ very , also thanks, come on we go diner on the corner and get the best milkshakes you will ever taste” she pulled him along not really wanna keep thinking about her ex and his oddities .

She walked into the diner and also fell over yet again when she heard the scream. 

 “ KITTY , MARVIN KITTY’S HERE” the waitress screamed. 

“ Martha, good to see you too and hear you ” she chuckled . 

“ Oh my baby” the woman cooed, hugging her tightly. 

“ I can't breathe, “ she giggled . 

“ Who is this?” she let her go only to look down and see their hands still connected. “MARVIN OUR BABY BROUGHT A MAN WITH HER” . 

“ AND DEAFEND US '' Y/N called.

 “ ok come on in , i’ll give you the best seat in the house” she led them to a booth knowing it was Y/N favorite spot. 

 “ I'll give you time to love over menu “ martha smiled leaving them alone. 

 “ I'm guessing you came here a lot,” he chuckled .

“ Every chance she got … sorry” Martha turned around . 

“ what she said my dad took used to take us here for treat night too” she smiled brightly. 

 “ she used to do her homework in that very booth” a gruff voice spoke.

“ Hey Marvin,  how did you know we were here?” she teased. 

“  I have a feeling, I guess” he tapped his chin .

 “ Funny you two” Martha rolled her eyes, still smiling. 

“ Marvin and martha this is jame bucket barnes , my ..” she faded off watching the black suv trailing down street something about it was odd yet familiar she couldn’t quite put her finger on it  . 

“ boyfriend and it’s buchanan not bucket” he shook their hand . “ doll?” he waved his hand over her face before following her line of view.   

“ sorry just erm … nothing we will have the bacon  burgers   and brownie supreme for me” . 

“ same also extra fries please” bucky smiled as they walked off.  “ Ok, what was that?” he asked. 

“ nothing really just seen suv  it’s like one i always saw drive by when i was kid i mean not the same one but almost every time i’m here “ she shook her head realizing she probably sounded nuts. “ Just a strange sort of thing that happens, it's nothing bucky” she giggled . Her words seemly not calming him down in the slightest giving he was more alert then some. “ If I get stark to check the registration  will you chill” she asked, pulling her phone out.

 “ for now, yes,” he nodded . 

“ Done and in time here is our food and easily the best milkshakes in the whole world” she smiled brightly as they thanked them for the food. 

Tony Stark stood confused and a little happy that she text gave him something to do giving everyone was on mission and well others were  on the ranch.

 “ what did Y/N buy her own ranch with your card or do we need to bail nat out of jail” bruce chuckled . 

 “ No, she asked me to check a registration because she accidentally made Bucky paranoid. I need more context so excuse me one second” he walked out the lab and hit the call. “ hey pyro on the prairie , what’s going on? “ he could hear her eyes rolling at the nickname.

 “ we’re at the diner , i came here all time but every time i was here i would see an suv pass by , it’s nothing i mean just one of those things but now my fake boyfriends head is spinning like an owl” she explained as he could here bucky telling her it was strange . “ could be nothing but i’ll check it out now and text you when i  find out  , you wouldn’t know the other ones would you” he asked hopeful tone in his voice. 

“  check my desk   , blue note book very back” i always had written them down to check them one day never got around to it , oh and thanks for lunch stank tell everyone i love them and miss them” she sang before hanging up . 

“ lets check this out” he clapped his hand walking into the lab heading straight to her desk and retrieving said notebook . 

“ everything ok” bruce asked. 

“ our little fire friend has been keeping track of past reg numbers so i’ll check them out and kill five minutes ….. Or not” tony voice went completely blank  as he looked at the screen .  

“ what , what is it” bruce asked concerned etched on his face. 

“ why have shield issued vehicles been following Y/N around , not just the diner too” tony scratched back of his neck wondering why fury left that piece of information out.

 “ you sure it’s shield ?” bruce asked looking at the screen . 

“ you know its insulting little respect you have in my intelligence, it’s right there” he scoffed pointing to the screen . 

“ not what i meant , shield wasn’t always shield tony?” bruce hinted. 

“ F.R.I.D.A.Y.  call fury and get him here ASAP” He called out going straight to the main shield server. “ what you doing?” . 

“ finding out what going on “ a frown deeply etched into his forehead. 

“ should we warn  them i mean what if she in danger” bruce began pacing. “ ring nat fill her in but tell them to  hold off saying anything to the kid we don’t want to worry her unless she needs to” tony nodded as bruce pulled out his phone. 

“ You sure bruce , ok i’ll tell steve now”nat smiled not wanting to give anything away  in company of her fellow avenger and best friends family. 

“ Hey  Steve Stark, think one of the  files on our jet , can you help me look for it, apparently it's important” she asked but her eyes told a different story .

 “ Of course excuse us please” Steve stood following her out wondering what the hell was going on . 

“ nat ?” .

 “ short story  y/n got tony look into some reg plates , she notice the same kind of car  she always sees when she in town and well apparently shield’s been watching her since a kid, i mean could be nothing but then again it’s us so he just asked us keep eye out  while he looks into it. He’s called for fury to come compound too “ she bit her lip not really liking it at all . 

“ if they’ve been watching since a kid ..that goes back to when shield …  Do you think it’s hydra” he asked . 

“ I really hope i’m wrong and say it’s not but why wait this long and why Y/N”  she shook her head. 

“ We have to tell them” Steve walked into the jet. 

“ no tony was right when he said not to say anything unless there is something to worry about”. 

“ she could be in danger nat” he almost felt sick saying it knowing bucky was definitely going to flip out. 

“ I don't like it either but I think we should wait until we know more just for now even” she almost pleaded .

 “ Fine for now” he huffed wondering how the hell he was going to even hide this from them.

It wasn’t long after finishing their food  and saying their goodbyes and promises to come back.  The rest of the tour was given , only to stop a couple of times to say hello to people she’d known and old friends . Bucky couldn’t help standing a little taller when she would call him hers even if it wasn’t true but still he wanted to pretend for now it was. They walked back at perfect timing for the service to be over helping her grandmother back to the car as she gave out about the pastor but said service was good . 

“ So grandma you excited for a night out in a couple nights , jack gonna pop the question to helen” she asked turning  herself to look at the woman. 

“ Well about time I thought I'd be dead and gone before that boy made an honest woman of her”. 

“ they’ve been together since high school “ she whispered to bucky .  “ hey grandma did you know you would marry pop pop” she asked.  

“ god no ,  he was my first friend when his family moved in next door , did everything together , then war happened and we both signed up but got stationed in different parts i was a nurse and he was a private then  we got stationed together , we  used to sneak  and meet up one night i saw him differently , i didn’t see him as the scrawny scraper got into trouble all time  anymore i saw my world and my future” the elderly woman smiled fondly and sadly all in one thinking of her late husband . 

“ he died six years ago” y/n whispered as they all felt the change in emotions . 

“ sorry” he nodded  looking to both of them . 

“ he’s how she got her nickname , my husband gave it to her , see our y/n was a little troublemaker , mischievous and headstrong  still is ,  he’d say she was a little misbehaving kitten adorable as hell but can’t take your eyes off her for a second, one day she was running around like a little tornado broke her mothers favorite vase which i don’t know why thing was hideous but she ran off scared to be told off when my husband check outside he could hear little sniffle from the tree above” the three laughed but he could see the tear forming in both womens eyes . 

“ yeah he took one look at me and said my darn we got a little kitty in the tree , helped out and brought me to the diner” she wiped her cheeks.

” he did always spoil you huh?” her grandmother smiled softly seeing bucky hand holding hers before continuing to drive. 

“ so kitty’s a naughty girl” bucky said confidently til he realized how it sounded.  

“ i was a rebel what can i say” she turned hiding her face and internally screaming, glad she was now home maybe she needed to sit in the freezer. “ well looks like papa  making use of having men around” she looked to see her brothers and steve working on repairing the fences.  

“ I'll help out so that punk doesn’t give out” bucky opened their doors before kissing her  well he was aiming for her cheek when she turned landing  right on her mouth . “ you’d swear it was the first time you kissed “ her grandmother walked off into the house.  

“ HEY JERK STOP KISSING YOUR DAME AND HELP OUT” Steve yelled as they both stood looking at each other.  

“ enjoy the fence .. yeah” she stumbled on the step. 

“ should have called you Bambi, '' Jack laughed. 

“ oh shut up or i’ll tell your hero how you peed on your captain america sheets and cried the whole night. 

“ I was a kid,” he laughed nervously. 

“ He was 14” Jessie laughed, handing Steve a fence post. 

“ Want me to tell Steve how you wanted to marry him” her brother called. 

“ Oh really kitty,” Steve smirked.

 “ don’t get excited Rogers wasn’t for the reason you're thinking” she snorted heading into the house. 

“ Chill Barnes, she wanted to marry him then divorce him thinking she would get the shield”   Frank chuckled seeing Bucky's jaw clenched at his best friend.

 “ That sounds like y/n  , she once used it as a sled, ” Steve snorted. 

“She made one think it’s in the garage  only she made hers black and gold funny like fate or something” Jack nodded to a bucky arm although covered . 

“ she made it with pop pop” jessie smiled remembering the two of them so concentrated on getting just right. 

“ Sounds like destiny to me” Steve nudged his best friend. 

“ yeah so tell her how you feel.. What we’re her brothers we spotted, it wasn’t  legit from the start” .  

“ but hurt her and we’ll  bury you out in the fields” Jessie patted the man's back .  

“I’ll help them” steve added, making Bucky shoot him a glare.  

part 5

taglist :@vicmc624 @babble28 @scott-loki-barnes

[igotanidea]

Rom-com, doubts and older brother complex : Dick Grayson x sister!reader

„Hey you, how was the movie?” Dick grinned with the brightest smile upon seeing his sister back from the cinema. Said sister however was far from being happy. “Y/N?”

“Yes? I mean, yes, sure, hi Dickie. It was fine, I guess.”

“Oh no.” he muttered

“What?”

“You got that face.”

“What face?!” involuntarily she glanced at the mirror just to check whether her older brother was serious or just trying to prank her.

“Please tell me you are not psychoanalyzing the movie.”

“Psycho…..? What? Me? Pfff, never.” She scoffed

“Mhm. Sure.”

“I’m sorry, what is your problem here, Grayson?” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance. “Honestly I came home hoping for some peace and quiet and I feel so attacked right now.”

“Are you doing this… what was it called….?” Dick scratched his head searching for the right word “watcher insert!”

“IT’S READER INSERT!”

“Well, it was a movie, so definitely watcher insert. And you practically admitted you do.”

“I DID NOT SAY A THING LIKE THAT!”

“You didn’t have to. Like I said, you got that face.” He shrugged, absolutely not convinced and unimpressed by her yelling.

“Ugh! You are insufferable!”

“Part of my charm, you know that. Now come on, come sit here and tell me what got you spinning, huh? As a big brother…..”

“Please, spare me the talk about oldest sibling and all the duties that come with it. I can handle my own shit.” She hesitantly perched on the armrest of the sofa, but Dick was not satisfied with that and grabbed her by the waist pulling next to him.

“Come on, sis, don’t be stubborn” he pinched her stomach getting a slap on the hand in exchange “that hurt.”

“Serves you well!”

“Ok, I’ll stop. Jokes aside. Get out of that head of yours and walk me through it ‘cause I don’t get it. You went to the movie theatre to have some fun ….unlike someone we know….. and came back stuck in thinking and, let me put it simply, melancholic. Not really a normal reaction after a young adult movie. It’s young adult, right?” he frowned

“You got that one right.” She sighed “I … I don’t really know. I mean, this movie was as cliché as possible and only confirm my belief that it’s not for me.”

“How come?”

“You know… nice girl, A-grade student, not knowing the bad side of life changes the surrounding, most likely moves out of the small town.  And in the city, she meets a guy, a well-known trouble-maker and more often than not, a womanizer. Of course, she swears she wants nothing to do with him but after an hour or so, couple of fights and few misunderstanding they end up together, most likely in a X-rated scene. And after another half hour, some family drama or demons from the past emerges, but all ends well and you get those fucking singing birds, shining sun, doves and all that shit. I’m so too old for that. And I think I’m starting to get bored with such films.”

“Are you?” he looked at her carefully, voice turning soft not to startle her.

“Yes.” She made a face at him

“Y/n. You say you hate it, but …”

“Don’t you dare say it!” she jumped on the couch and jabbed his chest “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“I won’t. I’ll leave that to you. Come on, say it out loud so we can process that. No one else is here.”

“I’m sorry, since when are you my therapist?”

“Since Bruce provided all his kids with trauma and forgot to equip them with the specialist to fix it. Say it.”

“I wish I have a cliché love story.” She looked down and hid face in hands because of the embarrassment. “But I’m not exactly a material for it.”

“Why not?” Dick asked, grabbing her hands and making him look at her ‘is it because you have four vigilante brothers? That can go well in a movie.” He grinned “I bet Bruce would love a cinematic work of art about himself. Can you imagine the movie “Batman?” Two and a half hours of him brooding on the screen and saving Gotham, all while looking like a sad, tormented cat” he laughed and waved his hands around

“I got this at the manor whenever I want. And when I don’t want as well. So hard pass on that movie, thanks. Jason would love it though. It would give him an opportunity to point out everything wrong with Bruce. And Tim…”

“Nice try, but stop getting off the track. Why do you think you can’t have a love story?”

“Cause I can’t define myself.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Dick’s eyes widened in disbelief “you think you need to put a tag on yourself? My lovely, crazy, irrational, foolish sister…”

“Look Dick, I’m a mess, all right? I can do hundred different things, but cannot excel in one. I start so many projects I don’t finish. I am disorganized, got plenty ideas per minute and it’s extremely hard to keep up with me. I'm stubborn, hot-headed and always need to do things my own way. ”

“So?” he shrugged

“What do you mean by so?" Y/N frowned "I don’t have routine, and apparently I’m supposed to. I’m not the best version of myself, I hate motivational quotes and I’m not sophisticated or elegant or even close to it. Shit, I hate dresses and skirts, my make-up is limited to the most basic one and I don't feel like I'm woman enough.”

“Ok, stop right there.” He cut her off “that last one is bullshit and as for the rest, why in the world would you think that eliminates you?”

“I… It just does.”

“Why?” he insisted

“will you stop this interrogation! Let me remind you, you are not a cop anymore!”

“Old habits die hard.” He blew a raspberry.

“Be a brother Dick. Sock me for wasting your time or hug me, just don’t do this….”

“Do you need a hug?” he asked opening his arms

“Yes, please” she mumbled, diving into his arms and hiding face in his shirt, smelling that familar scent. “This feels nice.”

“Told ya! Oldest brother. Now, since we are taking the comforting approach to the problem… all the things you mentioned are those what makes you, you. All right, pumpkin?” he bopped her nose “you could adopt someone else’s lifestyle, but would you feel better then? Doing all those things that does not seem like they are yours?”

“No…” she muttered

“See? You just keep doing your thing, ok? Cause when you do something that makes you happy, even if it seems like you’re a mess, you’re just glowing and that is what makes you special, you know.”

“Example?”

“You were writing, last night, and you had that focus and spark in your eyes. Nothing but you and your ideas, put in words on the sheet. You were just beaming. That was you. You don’t need to put  a tag on yourself, believe me. It's not a competition or anything.“

"Really?" she pulled back and eyed him, raising one eyebrow "'cause you are absolutely not the one who would join The Bachelor, right?"

"That's irrelevant..." as much as he did not like it, her words made him blush a bit. (did she find that application form he hid under the bed?!)

"Let's agree to disagree" she grinned "I'll importune you for explanation on that matter later. And since we're on the subject, what about....?"

“Do you think me the role model on relationship advice?” he smirked, but a bit of sadness crept in “I made a lot of mistakes and speaking from experience, I can tell you just can’t hurry that. Just keep your mind open?”

"Did you just admit defeat in the romance matter, Dickie?" she mocked.

"Romance? Hell no! Just long-term relation..."

"Don't worry, big brother" she his his shoulder playfully "you keep my secret safe, I keep yours. But still, that’s the worst advice I ever got.”

“Maybe…” he tickled her tummy making poor girl squeal “think Damian would have better one?”

“He’s younger than me, sure as hell I’m not gonna ask him!”

“I’m serious, sis. Once you figure out who you are inside, even if it’s a bit complicated and come to terms with it, everything will fall in place.”

“Still the worst advice ever, but thank you for trying, Dickhead.”

“Doing my best for my little princess.”

“Ugh! Stop calling me that name!”

“You used to like it.”

“I was 7 years old!!”

“All right, fine, hold the fire” Dick raised his hands in surrender “Gosh, for someone who got so much fire inside, you suffer from too little self-value.”

“Four vigilante brothers can do that to a girl.”

“Y/N? I need you to promise me one thing.”

“Shoot.”

“When you get in a relationship you will let me act like big protective brother.”

“You may have to wait a while, but sure, it that’s your dream…”

“How about I play that role in a Nightiwng suit?”

“OVER MY DEAD BODY GRAYSON!”

[thewisaaaaad]

AWWW FUCK

In my sleep deprived state, I have created YET ANOTHER AU by smashing together several ideas in my head, along with being inspired by @kamodofilez bells of the dammed au. Sorry for pinging you, but CREDIT IS DUE.

When am I going to run out of these oh lamb

Anyways here's the au. I call it the Regretful Hunter AU, no idea if i am going to continue with this.

In this AU, neither the lamb nor Narinder really wanted to fight.

As soon as Narinder heard the new prophecy through Ratau, he knew exactly what would happen.

Five becomes nothing? He wasn't stupid. He was going to fall too, just like all his siblings.

Good. It was what he deserved. It was what he wanted.

Narinder did the fight because he was actually tired of being the god of death, saw that the lamb was way better at being god than any of his siblings were, and wanted to pass the mantle. Of course, due to pride and family trauma, they couldn't just hand it over, so he tried to goad the lamb into killing him. He... doesn't really consider how Aym and Baal would feel about it. He forgot they were people, honestly, until it was too late to care.

The lamb, meanwhile, was totally chill with dying. They felt that they were OK at playing leader, but was ready to hand over the reins to the god that gave them the opportunity to take revenge for their people.

They were fully ready to let go, and see their family again in the afterlife. After all that had happened, they were just. So. Tired.

However, fate has ways of getting what it wants- including puppeting its victims. The lamb was conscious the whole time as they were forced to fight the person that gave them everything they had ever wanted and slay his guardians. They were just glad that they didn't have to kill him.

Narinder was less than pleased with the mercy. When the guilt of what he had done set in, he ran away from the cult before the lamb could explain what happened.

He planned on going out, finding a nice cliff with some sharp rocks at the bottom, and ending it once and for all.

Turns out, ending your life by your own hands is a lot harder than he thought. It can be pretty scary, standing at the edge.

He blames his mortality, of course.

Lamb, meanwhile, goes into a depression induced stupor, the young god just going through the motions of running a cult. ???'s arrival makes it a little easier, by giving them a goal to work towards, but they never stop hoping to find Narinder again. They know hes not dead yet.

They would feel it.

Narinder continues to survive in the forest, hunting critters using plumbata, or throwing arrows, made from stolen arrows. He goes around, surviving while cursing his cowardice, until one day he wanders through Silkcradle, looking for spiders to hunt.

Instead, he finds a panda and a skunk in mortal danger. Before, he would have let them die, for obviously if they had wanted to live then they would not have come here, doubly so for the panda who could have just never come to the lands of the old faith at all.

But now? Now he understands the fear of the end. How it can creep up on you without knowledge of its presence, how a foolish decision can seem like the best one to make in the moment.

So he saves them. They, of course, ask for his name.

He does not give it. Instead, he gives them the location of paradise, where they will be safe. When asked why he does not go there himself, he answers that "I had lost my right to that place long ago."

When Jalala and Rinor arrive at the lambs cult, they tell the lamb of the kind stranger who saved them, the cat with three red eyes.

The lamb gets excited. He's still out there. And he wishes he could be here.

They just have to talk to him.

[whump-cravings]

don't even gotta use a truth serum on this one 😔

Honesty

Hero spat blood at Villain’s face, her cheek smarting. A small smile crept onto her lips. “I found a sore spot, did I? God, those pants make your ass look great.” 

“Look here, you piece of-” Villain looked like a toddler losing control of her favorite toy. She took a deep breath. “I think that you should be a bit more cooperative especially considering…” Villain circled Hero, her hands gripping the captive’s shoulders, and swiveled the chair around. “I have your lover.” 

Hero's stomach dropped. No one was supposed to know that they were together, did they know what Olivia did? “Oh God no.” Through the one-way mirror, she saw Olivia, tied up, her eyes wide with panic and a stark white cloth gagging her.  

Villain clicked her tongue in disapproval, coming around to face Hero blocking Olivia from view forcing Hero to meet her eyes. “Did you really think you could hide this from me? From your family? What would they think? Their picture perfect, always honest, daughter with a woman?”

Hero balked all of her normal humor gone. She could take the hits, she could survive the abuse, but Olivia? “I don’t- I don’t know-” Her. The word stuck in Hero’s throat.

“Oh I’m sorry, what was that?” Villain cupped a hand to her ear leaning towards Hero. Hero’s mouth gaped open, “No go on, don’t let me stop you.” A tear escaped Hero’s eye. “Incredible, I always wondered if your power affected you as well. What’s it like to be physically unable to save your woman? Lie to me Hero and I will spare her I’ll even let you walk out hand-in-hand.” 

“I don’t know h-” Hero’s throat closed on her, she gasped for air, “Please.”

Villain’s smiled, “That’s more like it.” She pressed the intercom on, “Henchman if you will?” Villain seized the back of Hero’s neck pushing her towards the floor length glass. Olivia finally coming back into view, her hands tied behind her and her hair streaking in front of her face. Olivia’s signature look of determination swiped from her in an instant as Henchman slapped her. 

“YOU BASTARD! I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL KILL YOU” Villain’s hand stroked Hero’s bruised cheek and then firmly clamped over Hero’s mouth. 

Villain leaned into Hero’s ear, “You caused this! THIS. This is your fault.”

Henchman struck again. Olivia’s chair rocked, almost tipping. All trace of determination lost from Olivia’s face, Hero could see her begging, pleading for him to stop. 

Hero shook her head vigorously, Villain struggled to keep control nails digging into Hero’s cheeks. “Tell me you’ll do anything. Promise me the world Hero.” 

Villain let go of Hero, “GO TO HELL!” Hero’s hands shook against the restraints.

Henchman struck again. Olivia’s chair tipped and slammed into the ground. 

“Anything.” Hero’s eyes never leaving Olivia. “I’ll do anything.”

[ddollfface]

God, I love golden retriever men so much.

*Intensely staring at my fav athlete*

Now, that I have a brainrot~

1. Our lovely Athlete with a nerd darling.

- This would be funny. It is giving black cat × golden retriever. So hard.

- Darling has anemia? She's used to sitting around and reading? Can't walk too long to save her life? He's fucking carrying her everywhere.

- Can you imagine darling bringing a book about his sport (I don't know if you've mentioned what he plays) to the game and reading as they watch him play cuz they don't know crap about sports? He'd be so, "But you're supposed to be watching me." :Insert puppy eyes:

- He's isolating darling? Eh, Darling needs a 4 hour nap after every social gathering anyway.

Ok but-

2. Him with a nerd darling who's a childhood best friend, where darling has a childhood filled with emotional and physical abuse. (I'm finna design a whole ass character to ship him with. If you don't mind, of course.)

- This.

- Don't let me get started on this.

- They would be so power couple coded fr. (Darling knows Athlete is trying to manipulate her. Doesn't care as long as she's getting taken care of.)

- Darling is snarky with a S.

- Darling: "The cheerleader was flirting with you."

Athlete: "I know. :3"

Darling: "Go marry her."

Athlete: "But you're the love of my life. :("

Darling: "Oh, really? I could've sworn it was Cindy instead. Go to her, shoo."

Athlete: "No."

Darling: "Who's bestie are you?"

Athlete: "Yours."

Darling: "Exactly."

- Don't let this fool you, tho. He's def the dominant one in the relationship.

Athlete: "You're my baby :D."

Darling: "Mhmm. Don't say that infront of anyone else."

Athlete: "Why not?"

Darling: "I'll bite your head off, that's why."

(spoiler, he says it in front of everyone and darling does nothing but get shy.)

Darling: "Why would you say that?"

Athlete: "Becuz you're my baby?"

Darling: *cuddles closer to him.* *Whispering* "I'm his baby."

- 💗 anon (if I may) (also, he's my baby now, thank you. I'm keeping him in my head and heart.) (It's so late at night. I just keep thinking about this 😭 and I can't put my thoughts into proper words rn, bear with me on this)

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Trigger Warnings; yandere behaviors, possessive behavior, talk about trauma bonding (both reader and yandere or mentally ill), yandere masking, bad writing, and me rambling (I'm so sorry 💗Nonny lol) If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I offically declare you 💗Nonny!! And I don't mind you coming up with your own interpertations of reader and LoveSick!Athlete! Just share 'em! Also, I may or may not have gone on a tiny, just tiny, tangent, so sorry 💗Nonny... Feel free to submit more asks if 'ya want

LoveSick!Athlete can really mold and mend well with most personalities and darlings, this is due to his manipulative personality. A little off-topic, but he really has a hard time understanding who he is because he's always pretending to be what others deem "acceptable". This causes him to have a multitude of identity crises, but when his darling, you, comes into the picture, it makes it easier for him to find himself. He feels like he's the real him whenever he's with you. You just feel so natural, he feels natural, too. It's just right.

And for that reason, I think LoveSick!Athlete would go really well with a childhood!reader, seeing as she's been with him since they were young. And, I'm not too sure if you've read my Yan!Alphabet for him, but I mention LoveSick!Athlete's childhood; let's just say it wasn't the best situation for a kid.

LoveSick!Athlete would feel a special bond with his darling now, seeing as they've been together threw thick and thin. He's trama bounded to you, and you to him. We'll run off the assumption that reader has also had a bad childhood, whether it be an absent parent, abusive sibling/family member/or parent, whatever it is allows you to feel a connection to LoveSick!Athlete, seeing as you have a mutual situation. You both have something to bond over, something that locks you together.

He has a bad home environment, you have a bad home environment. He doesn't feel at home, so you become his home, and he to you.

And I like to run on the assumption that reader is all talk, no bite. And if you've read any of my writing where the reader talks, you'll see that I prefer to write reader as more "real" (to me anyway) because I'm personally not the hugest fan of the "helpless" reader. I like to write a darling who has a mouth, someone who's bratty (but that's 'cause I'm a brat lol).

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic, back to LoveSick!Athlete.

To your idea about a snarky reader, I totally agree. Honestly, LoveSick!Athlete would eat that shit up, no joke. He would love it, as he enjoys the back-and-forth between you two. He loves to press your buttons, wanting to see what sarcastic reply you have ready for him.

The thing is, he knows your just talking shit, never willing to actually do anything. You just run your mouth, and he lets you, but whenever you step outta line, sometimes, he's gotta put you back. Though, you'll never think of it like that. No, no, he's too sweet for that. He's gotta keep that golden retriever vibe going, y'know?

He just swat you on the ass, telling you that you got such a dirty mouth, mamas? I thought you were my little princess, no? Girls with a face like yours shouldn't be speakin' that like-

He'll just move on, as if he didn't just grope your butt, nope, not at all. And you'll be standing there awestruck, face red, and biting your tongue as you try to not overheat in embarrassment!!

It never ceases to entertain him, watching your face widen with surprise whenever he refers to you as his girl, his cute little girlfriend. The way your face heats up when he wraps his strong arm around your waist, putting his cap on your head (a silent sign of possession over you, trying to get the guy in the back to keep his eyes to himself, but you don't need to know that ;)).

In your little monologue, you go over some cheerleader girl (named Cindy??). Though I would agree that chicks (and some dudes) practically flock around LoveSick!Athlete, I would say that he doesn't even pay them any mind, not even entertaining the thought. Don't get me wrong, he'll talk to them, but make it painstakingly clear that he's only got one girl on his mind, you.

Most of the time, the girl will just find it endearing, slapping his shoulder, and telling him that he'd make a great husband or some shit like that. Of course, the chicks joking, making some nice comments to leave the, now awkward, conversation, but LoveSick!Athlete will take it to heart. Now, he's imagining a pretty ring on your finger, something he paid for, he got you. Because he'd be such a good provider for you, don't you know?

Another thought, 'cause I'm on a role, but I'm not sure if I've directly said this or not, but LoveSick!Athlete is a hockey player. I've tried putting strickly hockey photos on all my posts (you should see my Pinterest feed, it's filled with hot guys lolol).

Hockey is an aggressive sport, I would know. I used to ice skate every day for an hour or two. And, trust me, I got to see a lot of hot guys, though I was always too nervous to say anything, that's beside the point.

I can imagine that reader would be the same, intimidated by these testastrone-filled, young men who just wanna get all sweaty and gross. And I prefer to think that reader also doesn't know how to skate, much to LoveSick!Athlete's enjoyment.

Just to torture you, he'll take you to his ice rink, partly wanting to show you off, and also wanting you to rely on him to move around. He won't even let you hold onto the side, nope, all you got is him, babes.

And anyone who's been to a rink before knows that if you're not on the wall, or smack in the middle of the rink, you're in traffic, especially if it's busy. And this means that you gotta go fast, keeping pace with everyone else. And there's always a handful of assholes (usually hockey players) who will purposefully do a hockey stop, flinging a shit tone of ice at newbies.

I imagine that this shit would happen all the time and LoveSick!Athete is enjoying it sm. He gets a rush every time you flinch, clinging onto him tighter, especially when the really fast skaters zoom by you, scaring the crap outta you.

And he won't let you go at your own pace, forcing you to follow his lead. This means you're going far too fast for comfort, leaning on him for support. You're arms wrapped around his bicep, which isn't recommended btw. Your cheek pressed against his arm, holding on for dear life.

You'll snap at him, telling him to shut up and stop enjoying this, you dork. I'm only clinging to 'cause I gotta!

And he'll just take it, giving you a lopsided smirk.

[di-42]

A post by @makewayforbigcrossducks prompted me to think about a few things.

As a neurotypical person who loves Aziraphale to bits, I wonder if it's true that most neurotypical people hate, dislike or simply don't understand Aziraphale. The consensus from neurodivergent people seem to be that yes, that's the case.

I was also wondering if another factor to whether we identify or love or understand (with) Aziraphale more than (with) Crowley might be age. I tend to think that those of us who are less young empathise with Aziraphale more than those who are younger. Which would explain why sometimes the tumblr fandom seems to be one sided as tumblr users are probably averagely younger than, say, 40. But obviously that's a wild guess and it really doesn't matter.

What I really wanted to talk about is the concept, mentioned in some reblogs of that post and in other Good Omens posts, of unconditional love. My first, instinctive reaction to that post was "interesting! I'm not neurodivergent but I would defend Aziraphale against any attack and I love him unconditionally".

Except, no. Actually, I don't love him unconditionally. I don't love anyone unconditionally, whether they are fictional characters or people in my real life. If I had children probably I would love them unconditionally but I don't and there's no one whom I would love just because they exist.

People in my real life, and fictional characters as well, have had to earn my love, and I theirs. I wouldn't love them no matter what they are and what they do, I love them because of what they are and what they do. If my husband had been a racist, homophobic and misogynistic bastard I wouldn't love him. Same for my friends, siblings and mum. I never loved my father.

Unconditional love is something abusers rely on. Unconditional love is also something oppressive religions rely on because is so similar to faith: you accept everything from those you love unconditionally, don't question anything and keep having faith.

I don't love Aziraphale unconditionally. He's better than that. I love Aziraphale because of who he is. If I thought Aziraphale accepted the offer because he's power-hungry or because he's basically so stupid as not to see the metatron is trying to manipulate him I wouldn't love him. That doesn't mean I think Aziraphale is perfect. I think he's got lots of flaws and faults, which is ok. Like in real life, you can love someone and their faults without loving them unconditionally.

I also don't think Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. He wouldn't love Aziraphale if Aziraphale's behaviour over the millennia had been like Gabriel's for example, or Muchael's. Crowley and Aziraphale love each other because of who they are, because of the choices they've made in their history, because they know the other has lived through their own trauma and because... I don't know. Everything. Because of how they make each other laugh. Because of how the other is always there. Because of the trust they've built. Because they see in the other something that heaven and hell will never see. Everything. But not unconditionally.

Which gives me hope. Because I think Crowley still loves Aziraphale but I also think it's not unconditional love. It's love that comes from a shared history and Crowley will know Aziraphale is not just going to betray him. Crowley will know there's something else going on. Just as soon as he recovers from the initial shock.

And, well, everything will be ok.

[the-artist-grimm]

Does your version of Baal have other reasons for having touch sensitivity? I’m asking since in my au I’m working on writing out, I ended up giving him sensory issues due to being autistic (Self projection of my own autistic struggles honestly), and I was wondering if you had something similar (After seeing this post https://www.tumblr.com/the-artist-grimm/766796236966805504/petpet-be-upon-they-petpetpetpet)

The twins' touch sensitivity is a mix of reasons! A large part of it is from the trauma of their deaths and ressurections-their bodies broke down into ash and they spent 4 months trapped in the gateway kinda just...drifting without physical forms, only to all at once be ripped free of Narinder's lingering chain which had kept them there and suddenly thrown into a mortal realm so bright, colorful, loud, hot, and cold for the first time. Think being set on fire or electricity over skin-it's a lot of sensations their bodies just are not used to at all, and Anthea, Narinder, and each other are the only one's they're used to/ok with.

But in general the twins were always sensitive to touch, but as comfortable with Narinder and then Anthea (who is VERY good at respecting boundaries-they always worked off the twins' comfort terms from the beginning), were to them, it was rare that the two ever showed more major signs of discomfort beyond maybe Baal shivering if a head pat was too light cause I picture him having issues with pressure or Aym getting startled if the touch was unexpected and needing a warning first. The ressurection just dialed it up to 11 because now it's touch sensitivity in a new world where EVEYTHING is a lot. The Gateway was bright but quiet, the sand soft, and everything still, while the Living Realm is the exact opposite, so big change.

It's also drawing from my own experience. I got ADHD (and may be autistic? my twin sure as heck is and of three siblings all of us born to my house are neurodivergent lol) and since I was a kid certain touches basically just feel AGH-if it was sudden without warning, if it was too light, if the pressure was this or the material was that, with most characters I work with they usually end up with neurodivergent traits since I give them pieces of myself.

(Which on that note my Narinder and lamb, Anthea, are also likely neurodivergent considering that just ends up happening with alllll my characters lol, Anthea's likely got ADHD and Narinder's most definitely autistic)

[smaeemo]

It’s crazy to see how people interpret dean and sam’s brother dynamic as “wincest”

Some people have clearly never had a parentified older sibling. Then you take into account the degree of trauma that they have been through and continue to go through. Their codependency stems from their childhood and current traumas, their mental states due to that, the way they grew up with their father obsessing over the importance of “family is everything,” and the deep parentification of Dean, AKA Dean having to be a CHILD while raising his little brother, and taking care of his insane father. It’s not “wincest”/incestuous in anyway, it’s called trauma, parentification and general unstable family dynamics.

I think that a lot of “wincest” shippers don’t actually see what trauma can do to a person and their dynamics, specifically the people that endured that trauma with you. Dean, who was the older one that had to in HIS WORDS “be the mother, father, and brother” of his younger brother since the age of !4! is obviously going to be extremely protective/codependant of/with Sam, both because of the parentification and the words of his father carved into his very being. As for Sam, having Dean be all those things for him, means that more than anything, Dean is it for him because Dean RAISED HIM. Which is why, for so many reasons, what John said to Dean (killing Sam), was one of the most cruel things he could have done. John if not straight out, on some level knows that Dean and Sam will forever have a different dynamic because Dean raised Sam, ergo, Dean being more of a Parent to Sam than he ever was.

That’s not to say I think Dean was a “perfect parent” to Sam when he was raising him. No one can be “perfect” especially not a teenager raising his baby brother. What it means is that Dean had to sacrifice his childhood and grow up quickly for Sam to be not only Alive, but also so that Sam could -have- a childhood. All of this while Dean was still actively growing up, enduring his father, hunting, and having to come to terms with monsters. But he couldn’t allow himself to mess up, and going back to the idea of “perfect parenting” we see that no, he in fact was never “perfect” specifically when he leaves so that he can play games, and he sees that Sam’s safety is (extremely unfairly) placed on his shoulders. All of this, yet again along side with never having a stable home, having an unreliable source of income, and having to basically learn how to be an adult at 7, was the start of their dynamic.

As for Sam, we see that he got to play on soccer teams, go to school, and exist (while still having to endure all of the nightmares that is his homelife) outside of the hunting. Whereas Dean was the one who gave him this chance. This is not to say that Sam should ever feel guilt over this, or that Dean needed to do this. This is to show just how different their sibling relationship is, due to the trauma.

Dean treats Sam like a brother many times, but underneath it (or on top) you will always see that he is a parent to him more than anything.

“Wincest” is talking about their “strange/codependant relationship” in a romantic or purely sexual manner. This in itself just shows how many people don’t understand what it means to either have a kid or be a parentified older sibling. (I personally am not a parentified older sibling, but my sister who practically raised me is) and because of MY family dynamic I can speak from experience (definitely not to Dean and Sam’s extent) of having a parentified older sibling, and how that differs from regular sibling relationships.

Ok, this was a ramble, but as a whole “wincest” is extremely disturbing to me as a whole. And I don’t know what the rules are on this specific topic, so Idk how much I should say. But I definitely don’t condone inc*st to any degree, but to each their own ig.

Alright, I have SO much more to say on this topic. But I will hold back for now, just because I am sleepy.

XOXO

[rainybyday]

ok so before I go on and start posting about my flower au I need to put this out there about my Jazz Witch au.

oh boy

So Jazz is a Witch au was not something I thought I would make a fic about but that seems to be the case based on how long and how much time I'm dedicating to write about it. Go figure.

As of right now, I have a few concepts of what I want to make Jazz as a Witch of. Because let us face it, she has to have some sort of theme so I can make it seem more connected to the Ghost and how they have their own themes based on their deaths or ambitions as they die. I want Jazz to connect to something grand or small, something that makes her uniquely Jazz.

So first - Elements

I can make Jazz focus on an element as her theme, just like how Danny has Ice powers. I can make Jazz have fire or even lighting powers.

Fire would be fun to play around with, making her hair light on fire or connecting her fire with the Victorian ghost girls who got burned at the stake because they were all accused of being witches. If I also remember right, one of her ancestors was also a Witch hunter so I see a bunch of potential there.

But if she were to have something like Lighting then I play around with the trauma of Danny getting electrocuted to death and have some sibling angst with it all because while Danny may love Jazz he will not get over his death that easily. Especially if one of the causes of his death is also a power that his sister, who he sees as safe, has as her element.

Secondly - Minor Concepts

Yet I can play around with minor concepts as well. Concepts that are like healing or guiding, remembered or bonds. Like, think of minor gods kind of concepts where the concepts are not that big but are still universally used.

If you're still confused, think of mystical pokemon vs legendary pokemon. You have pokemon of music, victory, and wishes while there are other pokemon that are of land, space, and sea.

Minor concepts seem both overpowering yet just the right amount of power as well since a lot of au's do have Danny as Ghost King or Ruler over Death and such, so it would be fun to have Jazz as the sister of the Ghost King and being titled the Witch of Remembrance or of Shadows.

Like a smaller domain that Jazz rules over.

Third - Major Concepts

While unlike the minors these are the ones you would definitely think of as "strong". Major concepts, and I have a smaller post about them here, are Space, Death, Time, Fate, Life, and Universe. Or at least the ones I wrote about back then. Of course, I can expand it to things like Knowledge or Justice and all sorts of Major Concepts that she can connect to. But at the same time, they seem to be very overpowering and it is a whole other journey to process and such. I mean, I want to write a short fic but making Jazz a major concept and only writing 8 chapters might seem lackluster for the power she was given.

So? Thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas?