#for the first time since i was 16

[faitomato]

in honor of me quitting my job as a cake decorator of 5 years, a list of memorable highlights and repeat events

been asked to draw: dicks (no)

boobs (no) (at least 4x)

SO MANY extravagant cakes that are covered in fondant (which we did not work with) that would easily cost hundreds of dollars, and then the client getting miffed when i say it’s either impossible or will cost them hundreds of dollars

cakes with the ugliest color scheme you can imagine and i am forced to use it anyway

2 tier cake with jungle animals drawn on the SIDES all the way around, that my manager took when i was clearly trying to refuse the order because i had been there for maybe 6 months and was not confident. surprise surprise the client wanted it gussied up more upon arrival because she was expecting an extravagant cake like the ones described above

people being pissy about the kit up charge

many many times of people wanting drawings and then getting pissy when i told them it was also an up charge

that time a woman clearly set up her order to be “wrong” (and called before picking it up with the question of “is there anything i don’t want on it?” ????) and instantly asked for something for free when she saw that it was “wrong.” and then looked SO affronted when i said no that i had to get my asst. manager to deal with her

a woman calling about “wedding cookies” getting upset that we didn’t have them, and going “well now i know you’re not a real bakery.” i barely held myself back from replying “maam this is a grocery store”

the most exasperated and annoyed man in the world: “CHOCOLATE. ECLAIRS??” and nothing else

the mexican man who wanted a “3 milks cake” and looked so broken and confused when i finally realized he wanted Tres Leches, and i could figure that out but not when it was in english. rip sir

that woman who went “no no no. i hate buttercream, hate hate HATE IT” like a child when i asked her if i could use choc buttercream instead of the whipped i was out of. you live in my brain maam

her mirrorverse self who was so disgusted with our whipped icing that she told us we should stop stocking it. period. because she didn’t like it.

people not understanding wtf copyright and copyright infringement are

“do you have cookie cakes?” when they’re standing right in front of the rack

“how much is that” when the price is right in front of them both in the case and on a giant screen above my head

“what cake flavor/kind of icing is this?” when there is a sticker for each on the freaking container

“can i have a cake made for an hour from now?” no

people not knowing what freaking colors they’re talking about and getting upset when i didn’t get it right (teal and turquoise are not the same color. you don’t know what indigo is.)

this one is entirely staff related but that time i literally almost broke my own toe when i kicked the freezer door in rage after my coworker let me down (again) by screwing up every order for that morning, most importantly one that was for the deacon of my church. wildly enough he didn’t come back after that

and now. the names and phrases

happy birthday poopoo head (x3)

alexzandrew (made his cake every year. for the record he’s 7 and goes by just alex now. i would too kid)

britten

mei-ling (this is only notable because it was for a freaking shitzu)

lyrch

jerith (yes like the goblin king)

loki (okay marvel fan girl)

congratulations pastor X of X church and happy birthday you are blessed and we love you (this is made up but this lady would order paragraphs like this all the time)

what i swear was half the bible

so many more names that made me want to cry or hold back laughter. mckarty and taylee level stuff but somehow worse

there are many, MANY more but i worked there for 5 years and didn’t write anything down so these are just off the top of my head. and to give you an idea of why i quit, i made 111 of the 124 easter cakes we had to make this season :) just as one example

[aimer-arts]

Happy 16 years, Explorers of Sky!

[r-aindr0p]

Mr. Flamme never works (unpaid) overtime

He might reconsider

[annaleigh]

Okey dokey!!!

[atalana]

so i finally cleared prometheus on 32!

(and now i can get round to testing out the other weapons bc i unlocked eos' torches and then never looked back)

[artrrrish]

i'm rewatching voltron so here are the sketches with shiro and keith

[pinayelf]

annual spring chop ✂️

the bangs may have been inspired by a lil elf (bee) even tho I have straight hair lmao

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Oh, and I have a lot of like, materials. If you want some materials Fit, and you wanna grab maybe like, from Chume Labs, you can pick it up, ok?

Fit: [Sincerely] Oh, thank you Pac. Thank you. You're too- you're too good to me Pac, you're too good to me.

Pac: Yeah, you're too good to me too, Fit.

Fit: You're so thoughtful, you're so thoughtful. So thoughtful.

Pac: [A bit bashful] Oh, thank you.

Fit: [Laughs]

[angellurgy2]

like not to be a loser poser fake kinkster but i kinda would like to just have normal transbian sex that doesnt make me feel raped/used and instead makes me feel feminine and desired. maybe just to try at least once

[scoringeffects]

exacrly who we all expected to be leading the league this season. the minnesota wild with 14.7 million dollars against thr cap in buyouts, who did not make the playoffs last season, and the ovi-less washington capitals powered by notorious 3rd overall draft bust team canada snub dylan strome who DID make the playoffs* (*with the worst goal differential ever, got swept)

[amarithecat]

Aw hell naw, it's Vineskelethor and Vargsauce.

My take on a Vineswap concept by @lucamisu.

[galaxygorl-does-stuff]

hey. stop

[crittersister]

you'll see my puppy skillz once I get my puppy pillz >:3

[seagullcharmer]

[spizgany-lipejs]

For some it might be just a red t-shirt but for me this is peak 00s european gay club fashion and you can't take it away from me.

[versacethotty]

THAT LIP SYNC FOR THE CROWN WAS EVERYTHING BITCH