#I hope the staff and crew would be proud

[spizgany-lipejs]

For some it might be just a red t-shirt but for me this is peak 00s european gay club fashion and you can't take it away from me.

[meazalykov]

the younger morgan

bayern munich frauen x lena oberdorf x USWNT!bayern!reader

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six

I had just finished unpacking the last of my boxes, and my new apartment in munich felt like home. for once I can breathe and take into my new surroundings. my move to bayern wasn’t confirmed yet, but everyone knew that I wasn’t with san diego anymore due to the post I made to Instagram last night, with the permission of wave, bayern munich and my agent maggie.

(pretend this is you and you are in the photos below)

y/n.morgan

(tagged: y/n.morgan & alexmorgan)

(tagged: y/n.morgan & emilyvanegmond10)

liked by alexmorgan13, stanwaygeorgia, and 59,482 others

y/n.morgan Dear San Diego Wave,

Thank you for one of the most special moments of my life. No amount of words can express the amount of love I have for you all. To my teammates, coaches, staff, and even to my sister thank you for your support during my first year of professional ball. All of the love on and off the pitch means more to me than you'll ever know. To the fans, thank you for your unrelenting support for SD Wave and never failing to make home games feel special. I am so grateful for the memories and friendships I've made here.

I have come to the part of my journey where I can say that I am proud of myself on and off of the pitch, and I am happy for what's yet to come. I cannot wait to see what this next chapter holds.

Go Wave! 🌊

-(initial)M17

comments

alexmorgan13 My favorite girl. I'm so proud. You should be excited for what's next. I love you 🩵

malpugh 🙌

wosofan78 OMG THE BAYERN RUMORS ARE TRUE??

naomi_girma you are so amazing ❤️

bayernfrauenluvr Welcome to Munich 🇩🇪

womenssportsgirl Stanway x Morgan linkup will be deadly omg

random563829 oh shitttt

chelsfemten I wish you went to Chelsea 😣

----

as I sat on my ivory sectional sofa watching netflix, my phone vibrated on my coffee table twice. out of confusion, since I don’t have any plans for another few days, I reached my arm over to grab my phone. 

georgia S: each room will have two people since the whole squad is coming lolll everyone will figure out who their roommates are once we get there

georgia S: everyone else cannot wait to meet you! 

when I chose bayern munich as my next club, i reached out to my only friend who plays at the club. georgia stanway. we had connected through social media almost a year ago because we have a few mutuals in the football community. she was excited and offered to help me transition into the club comfortably. as a start, I suddenly found myself going on a trip with them to ibiza in three days.

georgia had mentioned the Ibiza trip the same afternoon i landed in germany. I met her in person for the first time at a cafe along with giulia gwinn.

they’re sweet girls and we clicked right away, spending the entire evening together just walking around the bavarian city. As we were in a clothing store looking around at random pieces, giulia mentioned how everyone thought the trip would be a fantastic way to welcome me and a few other new girls onto the team and bond as a team before the new season kicked off.

i’ve never been to Ibiza in my life. alex used to spend her early 20s partying there from what I remember as a child. if Ibiza was like anything I've seen from social media– with its sun-drenched beaches, and vibrant nightlife– it seemed like the perfect setting for new friends.

I could hardly wait to meet my new teammates in a more relaxed and fun environment. the pitch could be intense.

while I had yet to officially step onto the pitch with the girls, I felt a connection with georgia and giulia-- I hope the same goes with the other girls on the team.

i’ve already signed a four-year contract with Bayern, and did the media stuff– but the media crew told me that they wouldn’t announce it online until June 27th. it's 16 days until then so I might have to be lowkey with the Ibiza stuff. it depends on what Maggie might suggest.

Y/n M: That's fine! 

Y/n M: I cannot wait to meet the rest of the team too! I am so excited :D

as I responded back to georgia before putting my phone back onto the coffee table, I walked around my neatly arranged apartment.

in my head, i knew I had made the right decision. after leaving San Diego, i felt free.

I know the comparisons with my sister will never end but at least I can be my own person at a club where my sister (barely) has influence.

I walk into my bedroom and pull out my pink suitcase, the same suitcase I traveled with a week before moving here. i started to overpack my bags, as per usual, with bikinis, linen clothing, and gym clothes because I know I'll go on runs there.

we are staying on the party island for a full week so I am excited— and nervous.

will the girls like me? is bayern the experience i've been looking for?

the language barrier won't be a problem since Giulia told me that many of the girls speak fluent english, but I will make an effort to learn the german language throughout my four years here too.

---

three days later– the car ride through the roads of ibiza was a relief after the plane ride that seemed to last forever. I sat in the back seat of the van with giulia, sydney, and sam, while georgia was up front, chatting loudly with klara. 

the mediterranean sun cast a warm glow over everything. its ten in the morning so nothing is going on so far. though, i could feel the excitement bubbling up inside me. it was hard to believe i was finally here, on this beautiful island, ready to bond with my new teammates in a new club!

"so, y/nnn," sydney turned around in her seat to look at me, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as i raised my eyebrows at her, "how has germany been to you so far?"

i thought for a moment, “honestly, its been good. i haven’t done much so far but i did see georgia and giulia on my first day in munich"

sydney nodded, her blonde hair catching the sunlight through her window seat. "thats fun! are you ready for the new season?"

all of the girls have been asking me questions since we took off on the plane to ibiza, i don’t mind it. i’ve been asking them questions as well. i’m new so they’re (rightfully) curious about me and my life. 

"yes i'm looking forward to it," i said, nodding my head as my mind was clouded with images of myself wearing the red kits. "i’ve heard so much great things about bayern– its going to be exciting to play here for the first time"

“however- i am looking forward to the olympics first.” i smirked at sydney who rolled her eyes playfully. 

germany and the united states will face each other in the group stage, which is something that was briefly mentioned on the plane. 

“same here.” sydney said as her left arm nudged my right. 

“when we crush you, we will be the first to comfort you– don’t worry.” klara laughed from the passenger seat. my jaw dropped playfully as i placed my hand on her shoulder, “you wish!” 

“game on, number 17!” klara laughs. 

giulia chimes in, ignoring the playful jokes between me and the other two germans in the car "y/n we’re excited to have you at bayern. ibiza will be so much fun i promise– we do these trips every summer. also, georgia's been telling us about how you two have been friends for a while now.” 

“we have!” i say as i look at georgia’s eyes through her rearview mirror. 

"we met through instagram, actually," the english girl explained, glancing back at me. 

sam laughed. "oh really?? i never knew that!” 

“yeah– you gotta love social media.” 

as we continued our drive, the conversation flowed easily. they asked about my sister, my favorite hobbies, and what I was looking forward to most in ibiza. it felt so natural, something i appreciated deep down. 

eventually, we pulled up to the airbnb, a stunning villa nestled among palm trees with a view of the sparkling sea in the back. 

my heart raced with excitement and a touch of nervousness as everyone got out of the van and grabbed their luggage from the trunk. the rest of the girls from bayern were already in the airbnb, lounging around the pool and enjoying the sunshine while they waited for us. 

as the five of us approached, the girls who had arrived earlier ran out of the front door to greet us. i hung back slightly as the other girls greeted their friends. my social anxiety has gotten better in the last few years, but meeting new people still made me shy.

a girl whos a bit shorter than me– saw me and with a warm smile, was the first to approach me. she hugged me and my arms wrapped around her body too. 

"heyyy, you must be y/n. i’m ines," she said, extending her hand. she had a french accent and a nice smile. "i’ve been waiting to meet you finally!"

"hiiii, it's great to meet you," i replied, pulling away from her body with a warm smile on my face.

the rest of the team came outside from the villa and followed suit. 

after everyone was inside of the villa, ii was starting to feel more at ease when I noticed a girl I hadn’t seen before. she was taller than me with nice brown hair– she had a striking aura to her and an air of confidence that drew me in.

she stood beside lea, who nodded her head towards me. 

"heyyy," she said, her voice smooth and inviting. she walked closer to me as i sat my luggage beside the couch. i’ll take it upstairs later.  "i don't think we've met yet. i am lena."

"hi," i replied, feeling a slight blush rise to my cheeks. "i'm y/n.” 

lena nodded, a playful smile on her lips as she noticed my stiff look. "you don’t have to be shy with me, i just transferred from another club too."

we stood there, the world around us fading slightly as i looked her up and down quickly. she wore black shorts and a lavender colored t-shirt. god– her presence was magnetic, and I found myself genuinely attracted to her.

"looks like we'll have to stick together then," i said, trying to sound casual as i held my hands to the front of my body.

"for sure," lena replied, her eyes brightened.

our interaction was interrupted by the rest of the team, who had clearly noticed our little exchange. anybody around the both of you could see the chemistry. there were knowing smiles that the girls gave each other, which i pretended to ignore as georgia walked to me.

"alright, lovebirds, let’s get you settled in," georgia teased, pulling me away gently as i grabbed my luggage from the side of the couch. "y/n and I are sharing a room upstairs."

as you walked away– lena checked you out. you wore a black tube top along with 501 levi shorts.

lea noticed lena’s looks, and nudged her shoulder playfully. 

“you like her?” lea smirked. 

“she's so beautiful– are they together?” lena knitted her eyebrows together as she saw you walk up the stairs, blushing at something while georgia laughed. 

“no they aren’t. they’ve been friends for a while and she’s single. you should try to get to know her!” sydney chimed into the conversation, seeing lena smile at the confirmation of you being single. 

as i walked into georgia and i’s shared bedroom– my eyes widened. there were two queen sized beds. there are two sets of doors as well. i walked towards the white one which opened to a white spacious bathroom. the other doors had glass windows which lead out to the balcony, where you could see a beach with clear blue water. 

georgia and i started unpacking in a few moments of silence– before she spoke up.

"so, lena, huh?" georgia said with a grin, glancing at me. 

as we headed up the stairs away from lena earlier, she already teased me about it. i ignored her– but i don’t think georgia will take nothing as an answer.

i giggled, feeling a bit flustered as i organized my things in the suitcase. "yeah– she seems nice. its nice to meet someone who's also new to the team."

"uh-huh, sure," georgia said, winking as she walked into the bathroom. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” i called out as my face had a look of confusion. 

"i don’t know– but just remember, we’re here to bond with everyone. don’t get too distracted by her sexy looks."

i rolled my eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. i stood up from sitting on the floor as i threw myself onto georgia’s bed. "don't worry, i’m here to bond with the entireeeee team. lena’s just–a bonus!"

georgia laughed. inside of my head, the girl from earlier wouldn’t leave my mind. 

maybe this trip got better, before it even started.

----

hours later laying on my beach towel, i watched most of the other girls in the water as i tanned on the sand. the gentle waves were lapping at the shore and the laughter of the girls was in my hearing. 

it was surreal to think that just a few weeks ago, i was anxiously packing my bags in california, wondering what my new life in germany would be like. now, here I am in spain, on a stunning beach, feeling like i already fit in with my new team.

my brown tote bag took my attention and i quickly pulled out my digital camera. photography had always been a passion of mine, a perfect hobby outside of soccer. 

seeing most of the girls out in the water, i started snapping photos of them. 

their carefree smiles, the silly handstands that pernille started doing under the water with her legs poking out the surface, sam giving sydney a piggy back ride, tainara splashing water on georgia– everyone looked so happy.

there were girls on the sand eating snacks, checking their phones, playing volleyball with their feet, and laying peacefully getting a tan. i took pictures of them too. 

"do you want me to take a picture of you?” a voice said behind me after i snapped a picture of madga with her body buried in the sand– except for her head– thanks to ana and lea. 

i turned around and it was lena. she wore a nice black swimsuit that showed her abs. i had abs too, thanks to soccer, but hers just complimented her so well. 

there was something about her that I couldn't get out of my mind, but i ignored those thoughts as i clutched my camera tightly to my body.

"oh no thank you, it's fine, really," I replied, a bit shy. standing in my red swimsuit, i gave her a faint smile as before she shook her head at me. 

"nonsense," lena insisted with a grin, reaching for the camera as she slowly took it out of my hands. "you need to be in some of these pictures too."

lena took a few steps back with the camera, instructing me on acting casual, making me laugh in the process. 

i laid in the sand and grabbed my book, pretending to read as lena stood. she stopped taking pictures for a few seconds and told me to sit up. confused, i raised my eyebrows before she gave me a random white hat– belonging to lea– to wear on my head. 

after a few more shots, she handed the camera back to me.

"see? not so bad," she said, laying back down on a towel– belonging to georgia– next to mine.

"thank you, lena. you're a pretty good photographer," i said, feeling a bit more at ease as i looked through the pictures on the screen of my camera.

"anytime," she replied, her smile softening. "how did you get into photography? we all have a photographer who plays on the german national team as well."

“wait– are you referring to laura?” 

“you know laura?” lena asked. 

“yes i do! she knows a few of my friends that went to penn state with her. we exchanged jerseys back when the united states played you guys in miami. we took pictures together after that game” i said. 

“oh i remember that!” lena says. 

“you were there?!” i asked. lena’s jaw drops in offense– playfully of course– at my question. 

“yes! you don’t remember the small confrontation we had?” lena asks. my eyebrows knit together in confusion. for a few second, my mind goes blink at trying to remember. 

“you nearly scored but i side tackled you by the box. you didn’t like it so you tackled me a few minutes afterwards when i had the ball in midfield.” lena says, helping me recall the memory. 

my eyes widened as i remembered that moment, but i never connected it to lena. 

“you’re number 6 oberdorf?! oh i was very annoyed by that!” i say. lena and i laugh before we looked out at some of the girls who were getting out of the water. 

“anyways, i got my first camera from my sister when i was 12. she can be blamed for why i own many cameras now.” i say. 

“alex?” lena asked. 

“yes. alex was going to the world cup in 2015 and she got me a camera the year before. during that world cup I always took pictures of her from my spot. she let me take pictures of her with the trophy afterwards. it was one of the first moments that made me fall in love with something outside of football.” i say. lena smiled at me as I looked over at her. 

“wooo hooo!!!” i heard georgia yell out as she runs back in the sand from the water. as i placed my digital camera back into my tote bag, i suddenly felt a light amount of water splash on my body. 

my jaw drops as i see georgia laugh. from the looks of her very wet hair, she whipped her hair forward so all of the water hit my body. 

“stop it!” i giggled as i stood up from my towel and started running away from the soaked girls. 

“get her!!” sam laughed as i got chased through the sand by sydney, sam, klara, lena, and georgia. 

(pretend this is you in the picture below)

y/n.morgan

liked by alexmorgan13, lenaoberdorf, and 37,931 others

y/n.morgan ibiza ibiza 🐚

comments

alexmorgan13 No invitation? 🥲

y/n.morgan sorry sister ❤️

malpugh 😍

stanwaygeorgia at least you got the pictures before you got thrown into the water 😊

y/n.morgan thanks to you and obi 😞

lenaoberdorf a good photographer must've taken these pictures for you 😁

y/n.morgan yes they've done a great job!!

sydneylohmann 🙌🌊

leaschuller is that my hat?

stanwaygeorgia yes 🧢

wosofans7 ALL OF THE BAYERN GIRLS IN THE COMMENTS?

wavesnwsl THIS POST I THINK I FAINTED

wosonews most of the bayern girls are in ibiza too, looks like y/n's transfer is basically confirmed

~view all 2,711 comments~

part three here

<3

[guiltymepleasures]

To all the people behind Lovely Runner - directors, writers, staff, crew, make-up artists, stylists, producers, and everyone else - I sincerely thank you for being part of this drama. I have read a lot about how there were many obstacles to even get production going but you all persevered to get this masterpiece to us. Your dedication was translated well on screen.

To the supporting casts, you were all an essential part in the success of this storytelling. Big or small roles, long or short screentimes, you effectively portrayed the characters that love and are loved by our Sol and Sun Jae. The bonds formed seemed genuine and I hope they stand the test of time.

To Byeon Woo Seok, my heartfelt gratitude to you for taking this role when so many others were doubtful. You embodied Ryu Sun Jae in his essence of unconditionally loving Sol with different nuances in the different timelines. When I say you will always be Sun Jae, please see it as a high form of compliment. I am very glad to have witnessed this point in your career.

To my lovely Kim Hye Yoon, I missed you so much and I'm glad that I get to meet you again in this drama. I've always known I would like it the moment I knew you were in it, and true enough, I ended up falling more deeply in love with your acting. The scene that hooked me to this drama was your first hospital scene. I was crying and blaming the people who labeled this a romcom. Sol was a character you were always meant to play. Your love for her has reached the viewers' hearts and I'm so proud of you.

To Hye Yoon and Woo Seok, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for being our Sol and Sun Jae, for making us believe that a love as selfless and unconditional can exist, for making us laugh and cry and hope and look forward to Mondays, for being the promising actors that you are. May your paths be filled with only love and sunshine from here on out.

To the Subeoms, it was a pleasure to be able to enjoy a drama as special as this with you. Your edits, theories, comments, and even delulu, were a welcome source of warmth and strength amidst the rollercoaster ride we were in. We all deserved that happiest happy ending!

A drama like Lovely Runner comes only once and I'm glad I was here for it.

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance (Chapter 10)

Word count: 22.6k

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Jake x OC

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon. Please go show her some love!

STRANGE HORIZONS:NASHVILLE

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

JAKE POV

This is how it always was the day before tour. Josh barking orders at everyone, Sam waiting until the last second to do everything that should have been done weeks ago, Daniel trying to satisfy Josh’s requests, and you, sitting back watching all of it unfold from the comfort of the broken-in leather couch. The office was buzzing with crew and staff working to make sure everything was packed away correctly and not a thing was left behind. Old friends reuniting, anxious for another leg of tour to begin.

Tensions were high, as they so usually were before you left for a show. Packing up an entire band was no small task, and you weren’t sure why they always waited until the day before to do it.  You were especially wound up today, still reeling from the events over the last few days. You still hadn’t made amends with Sam, but you knew you would today. You had to. You couldn’t start tour off on a bad note, right?

You watched until you noticed his tasks being steadily checked off the list one by one, and when he found himself ready to take a break, you knew you had your chance. You grabbed two beers from the cooler and walked back over to meet him on the couch. You extended the bottle out to him, and his eyes met yours as he took it. It’s a start. 

You sat down next to him, twisting the lid off of the bottle as you relaxed into the seat. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes Sammy boy?” you asked, hoping that using his nickname would help soften the mood he was in.

“Looks like you already are…” he replied with a gentle smirk.

You took a pull from the lip of the bottle, letting the cold liquid calm your nerves. 

“Sam… I’m…really sorry about everything I said the other day. I was completely out of line to say those things to you. I’m not trying to make excuses here, I know I fucked up, but after everything with Sophia, I just… unleashed on you. I didn’t mean it. I really am sorry. I get it if you need more time, I just… I’ve been thinking about you the past couple of days and I just want you to know I love you. I don’t think you’re a fuck up. I’m really proud of you. For everything. Really.” you rambled nervously.

He took a sip of his beer, trying to conceal the smile on his lips as he replied, “I missed you too. You had a couple low blows in there, but it's all in the name of brotherhood right? Also, I love you too.” he laughs, placing a forceful hand on your shoulder. “Phew, glad we got our yearly I love you out of the way, huh? Early this year…” he jokes. 

There he is. There's your Sammy.

You held your beer up, clicking the glass bottle with his, “Until next year…” you toast. He laughs and looks over to Daniel, wrapping up some cording with velcro. 

“You’re right, you know,” he adds. 

“About?” you ask.

“Her. You know, if she was… with me and everything. It would have been the biggest fuck up ever. Monumental.” he said, turning to look at you.  “The first time we ever slept together we talked right before…made sure this wasn’t going to turn into something else, because neither of us wanted that. I think really, we just wanted to feel close to each other again. Both of us made it very clear that there weren’t any feelings involved. It was just purely sex with someone we loved and trusted. No feelings involved. That’s all it ever was, Jake. I haven't had feelings like that for her in years. Is she gorgeous? Of course. Have I always wanted to sleep with her? Well, yeah. But I’d never steal your girl Jake... I’ve always known who her heart belongs to.” he says.

You swallow harshly, really taking in everything he’s saying. “It’s just… hard to watch, you know?” you ask.

“I know. But it’s not something I thought we should keep from you. I feel like that would have only made it worse when you did find out.” he replies. “Also… I’m really sorry about Sophia… I can’t believe she was doing that. I can’t believe we saw her. You should have seen Y/N when she spotted her in the restaurant. She was hysteric for a second.”

“I would’ve been, too. Things had been a little rocky between us the past few weeks. She was acting different…And you know what? I’m happy to be free of her, feel like I can breathe again.” you say, swigging your beer. 

“I guess I’m just sorry everything played out the way it did. We just felt like you needed to know, and we wanted to tell you in person. I didn’t expect it to be such a disaster.” he says.

“It’s partially my fault, as soon as she started in on you I should have told her to leave. I am so embarrassed at the things she said to you. To Y/N. I wasn’t sure she was ever going to talk to me again. I wouldn’t blame her.” you sigh. 

“You know she… she listened. Finally.” he said.

What?

“What do you mean? Listened to what?” you asked.

“Our music… did she not tell you?” he asked.

“No, tell me what?” you asked, genuinely confused. 

“Up until about a week ago, she had never listened to any of our recorded music. The last thing she ever heard from us was the Black Smoke EP.” he said.

Shock coursed through your body. “What? Why?”

Had she really never heard? Every song you wrote for her, fell upon ears that wouldn’t understand. The lyrics you wrote to her, begging her to come back to you… she never heard them?

“Well, to put it simply, she couldn’t handle it. Emotionally, mentally… Think about it Jake. Would you want to listen to your ex play love songs about you?” he asked.

“No, but… not one song? Not a single song, in the past what, three, four years?” you asked, trying to wrap your head around it.

“She said she heard Safari Song in the grocery store once, but she turned around and walked out because it struck a nerve she wasn’t ready to tend to yet.” he said.

“So… she listened though… last week? Why now?” you asked.

“She said her boss assigned it to her, since we are under UMG. She listened to everything…she came over to my house after.” he stopped.

“Was she….” you started.

“Was she okay? No…She was a wreck Jake. I think you know that. Practically inconsolable for a while. She had a feeling about one in particular… but she couldn’t even ask.” he said, eyes cast down to the floor as he replayed the memory.

“So…she listened…to it...” you asked.

His eyes flicked up to yours, “Yeah. She did. About killed her I think. She wanted to know… if it was about her.” he paused, pushing his hands through his hair. “How sad is that, Jake? For her to even think for a second that it wasn’t. I told her of course it was about her. I told her they all were. I think she wanted to crawl into a hole and die right there.”

“How could she think they were about anyone else?” you whispered.

“She was pretty bad off there for a while, but I got her through it. Me and a bottle of wine, well almost two. She’s proud of us though, man. She loved it, I could tell she loved it. It spoke to her, just like we always wanted. We actually did it.” he said with a smile.  “I wanted to cry, I was just so relieved she liked it...It felt– felt like it was all worth it. All those years… I missed her a lot. I know it was different for you, but you know, she was my best friend. I needed her too.” he says. 

You were so busy feeling sorry for yourself back then that you never really stopped to consider that Sam lost his best friend. You were so cruel to him, to everyone really. Just a miserable person for a while. If you had known then what you know now….

“Anyways, you should talk to her about it someday. If you can. I know it's still touchy for you.” he adds.

“I will one day Sam. I’ll make it count. Thank you…for… talking to her about it. I know it probably wasn’t easy for you either.” you smiled.

“Anything for you brother,” he replied.

You both finished off your beers as you scrolled through your phones, waiting for Josh to finish up on his tirade about organization. 

“Hey, she will be here in about 10 minutes, so make sure you have your shit done!” Josh called out through the office, everyone agreeing and finishing up their tasks.

“Who?” Danny asked.

“The tour coordinator… someone new this time, I think you’ll like her.” he replied with a smirk.

Fuck. She’s coming? Today? You were not prepared to see her until you absolutely had to, tomorrow.

“You good? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Sam joked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Hey I saw this the other day at a vintage shop, thought of you. Thought you might like it.” you say, opening your camera roll. You scroll through your pictures from that day, trying to find the one you took to show him. An old 60’s Sunburst Fender Acoustic. It had his name written all over it. 

“Hey woah, what was that?” he says, swiping out of your photo.

“What?” you say, pulling your phone away from him.

“I swear I just…” he said, reaching over your arms, tapping on the photo of Y/N you received the other night.

“Oh my god. It is her.” he says, shocked. “How do you have that?” 

You close out of it before anyone else sees, “Will you shut the hell up before one of them comes over here asking questions.”

“Sorry. But seriously… Why do you have that? Did you hack into my phone?” he asks.

“Hack into your phone? What? No? She… sent it to me. The other night. Completely unprompted.” you answer quietly, a smirk on your face. 

“She sent it to you?” he asks, shock written across his face.

“Yes, Sam… for the second time. She sent it to me.” you reply.

“Well that’s interesting because she sent it to me, too.” he said matter-of-factly.

“The same one?” you asked.

“Exact same. We were…talking… it was the natural progression of the conversation but it came late…I thought she fell asleep.” he said. “Wait…what time did she send that to you?”

“Uh….” you said opening your text threads, and checking the time stamp. “10:46pm” you answered. 

He dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and opening his texts, his eyes widening as he reached the photo. “Oh my god. I think…I think she sent it to you instead of me, by accident. Mine didn’t come until 11:26.” he said. “She must have panicked when she realized and sent it to me when she figured it out. Wait, what time did you text her back?” 

“11:24…”

Panic sweeps through your body as you realize what he is saying. Were they…sexting? Was that really meant for him? A chill sweeps through your body as you put the pieces together. It would explain the situation. It was completely unprompted, and her not answering your reply suddenly started to make sense. 

“Well, Sam… Here I was thinking she…No, nevermind. I suppose that explains why she didn’t reply.” you sigh.

“Oh god, she didn’t reply?” he asked.

“No, but she read it. Stayed up late just in case too…Stupid.” you said, shaking your head.

“Has she spoken to you since?” he asked.

“We don’t exactly talk Sam…” you replied.

“Oh it was totally an accident. I bet she is—wow. I will have to ask her about it.” he says.

“No the fuck you will not. Let it go Sam, I am so serious.” you threatened.

“Okay, sheesh…” he says, pulling away from your grip on his arm. “It is a hot pic though isn’t it?” he jokes.

“Shut the fuck up Sam, I will end your life right here.” you say through gritted teeth.

He laughs as you hear the beep of the security system, as someone opens the front door. You both turned to look at the door, and saw her walking in, looking stunning as ever.

“Oh my god, it’s like she heard us talking about her…What is she doing here?” he asks.

Does he not know?

Her eyes meet yours only for a second before quickly looking away. Okay so she is feeling some type of nervousness about being here.

Josh rushes over to greet her, thanking her for coming in at the last minute.

“Hey!” he yells, getting everyone's attention. “I know some of us know each other, but for those of you who don’t this is Y/N. She works with Collective and is going to be our coordinator and liaison for this tour. She’s gonna be on the road with us for a bit. She’s an absolute star and I know you all will love her so make sure you welcome her with open arms and show her how we do things around here!” he says, smiling.

You watch as Sam and Danny shoot looks towards each other, then to Josh as they comprehend what he’s said.

“That being said, I will turn it over to you, I’m sure you have things to tell us to get this party started.” he smiles at her. 

You couldn’t help the chuckle that came from your chest as you watched Josh so happily introduce her. She was beaming. You had to admit, even though part of you wanted to kill Josh for this arrangement, you couldn’t wait to watch her do her thing, but more importantly you couldn’t wait for her to watch you do yours.

She began to pass out paperwork to everyone, her eyes flicking to yours for a millisecond as she handed you your paper, before turning her attention back to the rest of the room.

You could see something behind her eyes. You couldn’t place it, but you knew it. You’d seen it before. 

“Hi everyone! I am really looking forward to working with all of you over the next few months, but before we go over everything I just want you all to know that if you ever have any questions or concerns, or even a request you can ask me, call me, text me… whatever is easiest for you. I will help you the best way that I can.” she says, directing her attention to the group of roadies huddled by the door. 

“The paper I just gave to all of you outlines the accommodations for the Nashville show starting tomorrow. Your transportation, lodging and meal information should all be on there, specific to each one of you. Again, if you have any questions you can come to me.” she says with a smile.

The chattering in the background irks you. Are they even listening to her?

She continues to talk about the schedule for tomorrow, everything laid out right there on paper. As she makes her way through each bullet point you hear the crew still talking behind you.

“Hey boys, let’s listen up.” you say shooting them a stern look.

They quiet down immediately, returning their focus back to her. Her eyes flash over to yours, in a silent thank you. You nod your head ever so slightly.

You listen intently as she talks about the venue set up, soundcheck, and the time tables that will need to be followed, your eyes never leaving her for a second. To be honest you heard every word she said but your mind was elsewhere. Back in Michigan, swimming and laughing. 

Everyone thanking her snapped you from your daydream. Suddenly people were approaching her, meeting her and introducing themselves. She handled the crew and staff like she had done it a thousand times before. Maybe she had? 

“You gonna talk to her, or are you just gonna stare at her?” Sam asks.

You blow a breath out, leaning back into the couch, “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’d say. Just gonna give her some time. If she wants to talk to me, she will.” you reply.

“I cannot believe she is our coordinator.” He says, shaking his head.

“You’ve met Josh right? Meddling son of a bitch.” you laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right.” he laughs. “You pack yet?”

“Fuck no. Gonna do it when we’re done here.” you answer, standing up from the couch.

“Oh my god. We get to play for her.” he says, eyes wide with realization.

“Samuel, I am begging you to not say every thought that goes through your head.” you say with a sigh.

He smirks, walking off to meet her side.

Fuck. Not only will this be your first tour in a few years, but now she will be there watching?

You hadn’t fully considered that yet. You weren’t sure you were ready to think about it. You pushed the thought from your mind as you made your way over to Josh.

“I still can’t believe you did this…” you say with a fake smile.

“Everything is going to be fine. Great even. Watch and see.” he smirks.

“We done here?” you ask.

“I think so, what time do we have to be here in the morning?” he asks.

You pull the folded paper from your back pocket, reading out the travel details, “Says the van will pick us up here at 7:00 am. So… should we just meet at my place and ride over here together? Or Sam’s?” you ask.

“Let’s do yours.” he answers.

“You gonna be on time?” you laugh.

“Of course not.” he laughs, walking away, holding his thumb and pinky up to his ear, indicating he would call you later. 

You shook your head, walking over to Danny, telling him the plans, before you started to make your way out. You clapped him on the back as you stepped away, “Tell Sam, alright?” 

He nods his head as you turn to make your way to the door. 

You scan the room one last time, eyes catching hers for a brief moment before you slipped out into the humid evening.

—

Your suitcase sat packed by the front door ready to go, after sitting for months in the closet practically untouched. Usually you looked forward to tour, the swirling of anxious energy in your stomach just before you left. The bright vibrant energy filling your body just before you took the stage. Playing live in front of a crowd was what kept you going. Recharging your battery each night as you watched them react to the music that flowed from your fingertips. You craved it. You needed it.  But tonight you didn’t have that feeling. You were nervous. Jittery. Anxious. 

You sipped the remnants from the glass in your hand trying to calm those nerves. A lowball glass filled with scotch was sure to do the trick, as you sat back and watched the rain hit the windows in your study. The wet drops rolling down to collect on the sill in large puddles. You placed the now empty glass on the table, grabbing your guitar from the stand as you strummed the old worn in strings. You let your mind drift off as you played, trying to process everything that happened today.

An accident. A mistake. How foolish of you to believe that that photo was meant for you. Of course it was for Sam. She’d never sent you anything like that before... Why would she start now? 

And how stupid of you to reply. You should have known it wasn’t meant for you when she didn’t reply. You stayed up all night waiting for it…There was a reason it never came. As if things weren't awkward enough after the fight with Sam… this just made it worse.

Now you had to spend the next several weeks with her, pretending that it never happened and acting like you don’t remember every detail of the picture... The image of her body burned into your brain.

Was she as embarrassed as you were? You would be working with her in extremely close quarters for weeks…You really didn’t want things to be awkward… Should you talk to her about it? 

No. Just let it go... It will pass, right?

Finally feeling the alcohol settling into your bloodstream, you began to relax. You placed the guitar back on the stand, and made your way to your bedroom. It was late, and you knew you had to be up in a few hours to get ready to go. You pulled your shirt over your head, and kicked your pants to the floor, before crawling into the comfort of your own bed for the last time for the next few weeks. You never did sleep so well in a bed that wasn’t your own.

You set your alarm, and placed your phone on the nightstand, flicking the switch on your lamp, leaving the room completely dark. You let a sigh leave your chest as you relaxed into your pillows, drifting off to sleep quickly with the help of the scotch and the patter of rain on the windows.

—

NIGHT ONE

HER POV

You were already awake when your alarm went off promptly at 6:00 am, your nerves keeping you only half-asleep all night. The first day of tour. You were excited, but the anxiousness was creeping into your bones and making itself at home. You’d gone over the itinerary a hundred times before bed, and a hundred more times while you tried to fall asleep. Meeting times, rider copies, map locations, hotel confirmations…your brain felt fried already, and you hadn’t even left yet. You were thankful Allison had given you everything you needed to have accomplished on a nice organized checklist, making your life a bit easier. 

You drug yourself from your bed and into your bathroom to take a quick shower. You’d already picked out your outfit for the day, some dark wash jeans and a simple top. Cute but professional. You’d be meeting everyone at the office to load the van in exactly one hour.  

While you rushed around your home chugging coffee and gathering essentials, you thought about Jake, and how his eyes had met yours for the briefest of moments yesterday. You were still so embarrassed and ashamed, but you had to keep on a happy face for the sake of your job. This was no time to let your emotions show through. You had a lot to accomplish, and proving yourself was at the top of your list. 

—

You arrived at the office with fifteen minutes to spare, giving you ample time to run over everything again. You grabbed all your things from your trunk, and packed them into the crew van before you checked in with the driver. You brought out your iPad checklist and made yourself a few notes and reminders. Cars began to fill up the lot and roadies and crew members began to unload their things. No one had presented you with questions yet, thank goodness. Deep breaths, all is well so far. You checked the time, 6:55. Perfect. 

After a quick headcount of everyone riding in the van, you finally began to feel a bit more at ease. Thankfully, Allison had given you the tip to always lock in early hotel check-ins. ‘They’re always late for everything...leave yourselves time to spare.’  Fortunately, you’d known that fact since you were kids. 

You finally saw Jake’s car pulling into the lot a whopping fifteen minutes late. All four of them piling out of the vehicle to unload their bags. 7:15... Not too shabby. They walked over to the vans with sleep still in their eyes, except Josh, of course. He was always a morning person. He took you in an immediate embrace, placing his positive and comforting energy directly onto your skin. How did he always know exactly when to do that? 

“First day, big day! You ready?” He asked in your ear, not letting you go until you answered. He smelled like patchouli with a hint of hibiscus and vanilla. You took a second to breathe, letting his familiar scent calm your nerves.

“I think so, Joshy. I hope.” He released you after a big squeeze, his long curls flowing in the early morning breeze. He gave you a reassuring smile. “Killing it already, hot stuff.” 

You did notice Jake seemed a bit more chipper than he usually was at this hour. He didn’t have his normal dark circles and sullen face…instead he looked bright-eyed and anxious. The rest of the guys made their way over to you. Sam brought his hand to his brow, playfully saluting. 

“Samuel Francis Kiszka, bass and keys, reporting for duty. My name should be first on the list in the VIP section. I’m actually in the band.” He glanced and pointed to your iPad, typing his fingers erratically causing your screen to go wild. 

“Stop it Sam, geez!” You laughed. “Get in the van.”

He clicked his tongue and gave you a wink. 

“Morning sunshine, ready to kick ass today?” Danny said through a warm smile, showing all his teeth. 

“Let’s hope so,” you returned his sweet smile. 

“You got it, no question.” He reassured you. 

Lastly came Jake. He brought his eyes to meet yours, and you felt every nerve ending explode with embarrassment all over again. He gave you a curt half-smile and nodded his head, climbing into the van without a word. His cheeks had pinkened a little, and you were sure yours had done the same. Awkward. So awkward. 

After everyone was loaded up and accounted for, you made sure no one had any questions, and you climbed into the front seat of the crew van. You felt an overwhelming sense of nervousness and relief at the same time. You’d attack this day step by step. These guys were all professionals and had done this song and dance a million times. It was their world, and you were just orchestrating it. 

——

Checking into the hotel proved to be a simpler task than you anticipated, getting everyone their key cards and on their way to their rooms going very smoothly. You knew that you had to get them to the venue for sound check as quickly as possible so once you figured they had enough time to settle, you sent a group text asking them to meet you in the lobby. It was a very short ride to the venue, and you were excited to be behind the scenes and have access to everything that happened backstage. 

You watched as everything was unloaded from the trucks and brought inside the amphitheater. It was amazing to watch the crew work like a well-oiled machine quickly putting up the stage and equipment in record speed. Though this was the first show back in a while, they all worked well as a team setting up the new stage equipment just like the guys envisioned. 

You were rushing around like a crazy person, answering phone calls, replying to tons of texts, checking to make sure the riders were fulfilled, and trying to keep Allison updated with everything. So far, so good. Eight hours until openers. 

“Guys, the stage is set. You wanna come see?” You asked the four of them as they gathered around a makeshift coffee table full of lunch items. Their eyes lit up, ready to see the stage they’d dreamt of for months finally brought to life. 

You led them around the small corridors of the beautiful outdoor venue, and into the pit area. They erupted in astounded cheers seeing it all put together. You grabbed your walkie-talkie and radioed to the light booth. “Randy, can we hit the lights?” You asked. A few seconds later, a voice came over the radio. “Sure thing.”  The main spot lights came on and illuminated the stage in a beautiful and clean white light, showing off the lighted platforms and spires that lined the backdrop. They fell into ‘ooo’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ in unison as they took it all in. 

“Holy shit, it’s perfect!” Josh proclaimed. 

“Yeah guys, yes!” Sam yelled to the crew. They all clapped and cheered, and ran onto the stage to begin checking their sound. Relief. You knew it would be even more perfect once it got dark outside. 

You took a second to run backstage and collect yourself, use the restroom, and grab something to eat as you knew the rest of the day was going to be even more chaotic. You checked in with craft services to see that everything was refilled for the crew, now that they were done with their part. You relaxed on a couch for a free second, ignoring your buzzing phone and nagging notifications. You could hear the low droning sound of their instruments coming together, as they jumped into a song you didn’t quite recognize off the bat. It still sounded beautiful and haunting even from this far away. You closed your eyes and took in the moment, feeling pride overtake your mind as you listened to your best friends fulfill their dream. After a few grounding moments, you decided to check your phone and emails again.

An hour or so passed, and you noticed the music had stopped. You stood up to stretch and checked the time, not realizing how long you’d been lost in your phone. You began to meander around the backstage area again, when you were caught by a pair of familiar hands pulling you behind a trailer, out of sight. 

“Samuel, what are you doing!” You whispered loudly. 

“Nothing, just wanted to say hello properly. I haven’t gotten to tell you how good you look taking care of all of us like this.” He pinned your back to the trailer, and glanced around, checking that the coast was clear. Then he brought his lips to your neck, lightly kissing and nudging you. 

“I love watching you in your element...it’s very attractive.” he whispered in your ear between pecks. 

“Sam…be careful...there’s people everyw-” he cut you off, placing his lips on yours.

“Shhh...there’s no one around. Trust me. Do you trust me?” He glanced around again. 

You nodded, reluctantly. You felt very out of place, letting him do this in such a manner in broad daylight, but god, his lips on your neck and his hands pinning you down was driving you wild. He had a knack for melting you into a puddle, that was for sure. 

He immediately licked into your mouth, hot and sweet with just the tiniest taste of tequila on his lips. He brought his leg up to spread your knees apart, positioning himself so your core rested on his upper thigh. He pressed his body into you, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you, even from the slightest contact. You kissed him back hard, just now realizing how starved you’ve been for him without even noticing it. Your mind had been elsewhere lately. 

“That photo you sent the other night...I can’t get it off my mind. You looked so sexy...God I wanted you so bad...” he trailed off, pressing harder against you. “You want me to send you something?” 

You nodded again. “Mhmm...yes please.” you said into his mouth, biting his lip. 

“I’ll see what I can come up with...” he said, pulling away. He began to back off, adjusting himself in his pants. He glanced around again, making sure the coast was still clear. “Silence my notifications, and change my name in your phone.” He said with a wink, and he was gone. 

What? Change his name? Why? Did he know about the photo accident? 

—

You headed back around to the main gathering area backstage after collecting yourself for a few minutes. Hot and bothered was an understatement. 

“Y/N! Hey, I’d like you to meet someone.” Josh said as you entered the trailer. “This is Summer. She’s going to be our photographer!” 

“Oh my god, hey! It’s so nice to meet you finally! I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet before, things have been chaotic.” You reached out to shake her hand. Summer was gorgeous. Tan, slender, and blonde with cute features and the prettiest blue eyes that hid behind thin wire glasses. She had a bright and friendly smile as she returned your handshake. 

“Hey! So nice to meet you! I’m so excited to be here.” she said. 

“I’ll leave you two to chat.” Josh said, taking off in the other direction.

“Let me show you around?” You asked, walking towards the stage. 

“Yes, let’s go!” She grabbed her camera bag and you were off. You showed her around the venue and made sure she had her all access media and crew pass. 

“The guys will want you to be around basically all the time, backstage and all. They’re really easy to get along with, which I’m sure you noticed meeting Josh.” You said. 

“Yes, actually! He introduced me to the band. Everyone seems really nice! This is my third time going on a tour with a band, so I’m really starting to get my footing I think. I’m really excited to work with you guys!” She admitted. 

“Well, they picked you for a reason. I saw some of your work, it’s fantastic. You’ll do just fine.” You reassured her with a smile, which she returned. You walked her around the grounds a bit more, showing her the areas you’d be occupying most and introducing her to people here and there. By the time you made it back, she had told you her life story in its entirety and you were already beginning to tune out the sound of her voice. She was sweet, but…

“So, this might sound forward but, are all of them…single?” She asked without an ounce of shyness in her voice. It took you by surprise. 

“Umm, well… Sort of. Danny has a girlfriend but, the rest, yeah. Basically. I try not to keep up with their personal lives too much.” 

Lie. 

“Cool okay. I just didn’t want to, you know… Be weird about anything. Spending all this time together and all.” She replied, talking with her hands.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, no I get that. For sure.”

“But, the quieter one with sunglasses, he plays guitar I think?” She rambled. 

“Jake.” You said stoically. 

“Yeah, Jake. He is fine. Made my heart skip a beat when he shook my hand. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked the brooding ones. The type you’d climb like a tre-”

“Summer. I get it... But remember you’re here to take photos and that’s it. Okay?” You felt yourself get an attitude at her lack of professionalism this early in the game. It had only been half an hour and you were already starting to be irked by her presence.

“Jake is very professional and likes to keep himself focused. He doesn’t allow himself much time for things like that.” you add, hoping she would take the hint.

Saved by the bell, your walkie talkie beeped with a request for you to go to the stage. “I’ve gotta go, good luck tonight!” You waved to Summer and left before she could get another nerve-grinding word out. 

You approached the stage and were motioned back to the sound booth technician. 

“Hey! We need our copies of the setlists! Almost forgot.” The woman laughed. 

“Yes! I have them on my hard drive. I will bring them right to you.” You replied, rushing off to backstage, mad at yourself for forgetting to do that before you left the office. Luckily you had a portable printer installed in the crew trailer. 

You printed off ten copies of the list, and read through it on your way back to the sound booth. 

Wow, it was so strange seeing the names of all these songs that you’d just now become familiar with, the songs that were basically their children. You knew they were playing a few of these live for the first time tonight, and a whole new wave of nerves hit you like a freight train. You were so excited for them. So excited for their fans. 

A few more hours passed, and you’d decided to join the guys for a little chat before things got hectic. They were all hanging around outside, warming up on acoustics and pre-gaming with seltzers and shots. They were all beaming with nerves, Josh and Sam hopping around expelling their pent-up agitation while Danny drummed on anything he could find. Jake sat comfortably in a lounge chair, feet up, strumming a quiet tune and watching his brothers in their natural states. He was so…attractive. 

“Josh, why are you dressed already? You’re going to spill something on your suit!” You said, surprised. His outfit for tonight was a white jumpsuit with blue and green applique feathers, and it fit him like a glove. Tiny rhinestones caught the light as he jumped around, causing him to sparkle in the afternoon sun.

“Oh, love. I always do this. Sorry, but I get ready way too early. It’s just a…thing I do.” He threw his hands up, unable to elaborate any more. “But I make it a point to only drink clear liquids! I promise.” 

You nodded nervously, wanting to cover him up with a jacket, a bib…something. 

You peeked around to the front of the venue, seeing that hoards of people had started to gather at the gates. You checked your phone. 

Allison 5:55pm: Almost time to get them dressed! Hope all is going well! 

You 5:59pm: All is great! Thanks!

You took another few minutes, shooting texts to the other coordinators and radioing to check in with security. You couldn’t believe you’d gotten this far in the day without any major hiccups, and you were thankful. Maybe you could do this… You were doing this. 

You glanced toward Jake, who was sitting naturally still strumming along and sipping something from a paper cup. You covertly watched as Summer made her way over to sit beside him, giving him all of her attention as she snapped a few photos, while likely telling him a story about something he cared nothing about. Just from the short time you spent with her, you knew she was going to be a great photographer, but inevitably get on everyone’s nerves. 

Get away from him, he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s trying to get in his zone. 

But to your surprise, you watched as he tilted his head back and laughed a hearty laugh, scrunching his nose up and giggling at whatever she was saying. She laughed too, leaning into him and quickly putting her hand to his thigh. 

Oh really? 

You scoffed under your breath and crossed your arms. She then pointed to his guitar, and began to ask him questions. It looked like he was explaining the guitar parts to her, while she watched him intently, all the while moving closer and closer to him, touching him any chance she got. 

Doesn’t she have photos to take or something?

Suddenly, Sam was in front of your face, “Hey. You gonna nip that in the bud, or should I?” he asked motioning back to Summer and Jake with a head tilt. It shook you from the raging fire of jealousy growing in your chest. 

You stood up quickly, clapping your hands together, “Alright guys, time to get dressed!” You announced, and they all began to excitedly make their way toward the trailer. You saw Summer look back toward you as Jake exited her bubble. 

“You can sit this part out, Summer.” You said. 

“And you get to watch them get changed? Lucky girl…” she said with a smirk. 

You decided to not respond to that, and climbed the steps to the front door, closing it hard behind you. 

—

After a few minutes, they were all dressed and ready to go...7:45 on the dot. Their openers had already begun their sets, filling the arena with sound. You stood in the trailer, and watched their stylist stand back and admire the art of the designer. Their outfits truly were a sight, all custom made to fit their visions.

The crew exited the trailer, leaving just you and the guys. Sam immediately felt comfortable enough to bring you in for a giant hug. “Errghhhh you did so great today! How are you feeling? Ready for the grand finale?” 

You hugged him back, finally feeling alone enough with them to be your true self, “Yes, my job’s almost over. It’s your turn now.” You responded with a giggle. 

Just then, Danny and Josh came and joined the hug, sticking you in the middle as they piled around one another. You glanced over and saw Jake standing off to the side, obviously feeling awkward about joining. You bravely raised your finger to him, motioning for him to join in. He wrapped his arms around his brothers as they all rested their heads on one another, taking a second to relish in the moment. 

“My brothers, are we ready to rock and roll?” Josh asked. 

“Never been more ready…” Danny agreed. They all spoke in little sentences of excitement and reassurance, patting each other on the backs and shaking off nerves. Never once letting their heads separate from touching in their circle, with you still directly in the middle. You stood awkwardly, but happy to be included in their embrace. 

“Six brand new songs tonight, fellas. Do we have it?” Josh asked. 

“Yeah we have it, do you have it?” Jake responded. You giggled. 

“Yeah I fuckin’ have it as long as you keep me where I need to be.” Josh relayed. 

“As long as these two assholes keep me where I need to be…” Jake went on. 

“Don’t we always? Daniel and I are perfect...” Sam spat. 

“Sounds like a plan, then. Let’s go do it.” Josh said. 

Suddenly they hugged one another tighter, smashing their heads into yours and bringing your face impossibly close to Jake’s. You felt heat immediately rush to your face as his eyes flitted to yours, and locked there. He offered you the tiniest of smiles before he spoke. 

“Love you guys?” He asked. 

“Love you guys.” They all responded in unison. Then they all separated, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, drowning in emotional surprise. 

“What was that? What was I just part of? Do you do that before every show?” You asked. 

“Only since 2012, love.” Sam said, shooting you another wink as he descended the stairs, his baby blue suit hugging every curve. You felt a swell of admiration creep into your chest. You had gotten to be a part of their pre-show ritual.  

You waited by the door for the guys to file out one by one, Jake stopping beside you at the very end. You noticed the collar of his beautifully embroidered navy blue suit was flipped up, and you instinctively reached to fix it. Your fingers accidentally brushing his neck in the process, sending an immediate and visible chill through him. You swallowed hard as you pulled your hand away from his collar. 

“How do I look?” He asked in a low and gravelly voice, shyly bringing his eyes from the floor to you.  

Before you could stop yourself, you whispered, “Still just as gorgeous as ever.”

His face softened and a smirk played at his lips, just as he turned to catch up with the rest of the guys. 

—

The time had almost come for the guys to take the stage, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t just as nervous as they most likely were. Brand new tour, brand new songs, brand new era…

You knew they would absolutely kill it no matter what, but you were sure the anxiety was still high. The sound of the crowd was almost deafening even this far away, and at an outdoor venue at that. You never imagined there would be this many people. 

Right before they were to head toward backstage, small plastic shot glasses were passed around to the surrounding crew, while Josh had everyone gather for a toast. You took the cup of what smelled like vodka, and raised it into the air. A familiar presence was suddenly by your side, meeting your extended arm with his own. Jake. 

“Thank you all for being here, and making this happen tonight! To Strange Horizons!” Josh yelled above the lull of the screaming crowd. He held his tiny glass up, and everyone joined in with clanking theirs together before shooting the clear liquor. You turned a little toward Jake, as he held his cup up to yours. 

“Cheers, love.” He said, barely tipping his cup to tap yours, raising his eyebrows with the smallest grin.

“Cheers…” was all you could manage through the thick sound of your heart beating in your ears. Love?

He tilted it back and swallowed its contents, and he was gone without another word. You stood there for a second collecting yourself. 

“That shot’s not gonna take itself, babe!” Sam yelled, guiding your hand to bring it to your lips. You let the chilled liquid coat your insides, hoping that it would calm the storm that was brewing inside you. You heard Josh’s voice on the special intro monologue begin, and the crowd erupted in an explosion of screams. 

“There you go...There she is!” Sam shouted as you finished downing the shot. 

He brought his lips close to your ear, “Checked your phone lately?” He pulled away with a wink and a wide smile, and spoke loudly again. “You ready?!” And then he, too, was gone. 

You felt your radio vibrate with sound, and you brought it close to your ear. “Two minutes, two minutes to stage.” your heart rate immediately picking up.

You looked around to make sure everyone was accounted for, and then rushed everyone toward the stage, security and other coordinators in tow. You could feel the energy radiating off of them. They were electric. 

In seconds you found yourself side stage with the guys as they awaited their cue to walk. They took a second to peek at the ginormous crowd, a sea of raised hands and cell phones ready and waiting to capture the first seconds of their beloved band taking the stage again.  

No one really spoke, not like you could hear anything over the audience anyway. Everyone exchanged looks and shoulder grabs, basking in their excitement together. You looked to Jake, who was pulling his guitar strap over his head, and offered him a genuine smile, silently wishing him ‘good luck’ as you could. He nodded and smiled back, still able to read your expressions even after all these years. 

Suddenly the lights went out, and there was a beat of silence, their cue to storm the stage. You watched as they left your side and found their rightful spots with their instruments. Plugging in, and taking a deep breath. 

As the lights faded up, Sam’s keys began the first song. Filling the arena with beautiful and ethereal sounds in a way that only he could. The crowd exploded into screams and cheers as they recognized the song. You watched on as thousands of people sang the lyrics back to the band, not missing a beat. 

You found yourself having a hard time deciding whether to watch the show or watch the crowd. They held hands, they cried, they swayed as they sang...now you understood why this was so addicting for them. The fans gave so much energy, song after song, an unrelenting celebration with each tempo switch. 

Your eyes carried themselves to Jake as you finally allowed yourself to watch him in his element. You’d been actively ignoring him the whole show so far, not letting yourself see him finally play, for real. You thought back, you hadn’t seen him play since that fateful night at the bar. Years ago. Even then he was a force to be reckoned with, but now, god, he held absolutely nothing back. 

You watched as he pranced around, completely taken with the music he was creating, and even more taken with the effect it had on the audience…absolute madness. You could tell he fed off of it. Lived for it. The way his body moved was so sensual, tilting his head back and rolling his entire body with the sound. His facial expressions matched, too. You felt like falling into a hole when you realized you’d seen him make those faces before, years ago, locked up in his room for two days with nothing better to do than each other. 

You had to force yourself to rip your eyes off of him. You noticed you’d been looking at only him for the past ten minutes or so. He was just so…mesmerizing to watch. The passion he felt while playing and interacting with the crowd and the rest of the band was a show in itself. And he sounded perfect. 

Then you caught a glimpse of his torso…Holy shit…The lights from the stage were bouncing off the sweat dripping down his chest and stomach. The proof of his exertion in the heat of the summer night. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as the sweat dripped in a steady stream from his throat down to the button of his pants. Watching as he would occasionally wipe it between chords. That was a visual you did not need right now. 

You turned around to collect yourself, and grab a drink of water. You checked your phone quickly; you’d completely forgotten Sam had asked you if you had earlier. You’d done what he said to do – silenced his notifications, and changed his contact name. You couldn’t think of a name off the top of your head, so instead you chose to just use ‘Keys’. You had a photo notification from him from a little over an hour ago. You stepped behind some equipment, and opened the attachment.

There it sat. A photo of him in a partially fogged-up mirror, in just a towel hanging low around his hips. He had wiped the fog from the mirror just enough that you could see him. His face, dark with lust. He was holding the towel together right at the top of his bulge, only the light smattering of dark hair visible, leaving almost everything to the imagination. 

He was still dripping from his shower, the water glistening on his tanned skin. His wet hair falling at his shoulders with tiny droplets dripping from the ends, down onto his chest. He looked positively edible. His eyes lured you in, dark and focused, his jaw clenched tight. He wanted you. That much was clear. 

You locked your phone screen and returned your focus to the show, trying to forget the fact that both of them had managed to get you hot within the past two minutes. 

What the hell are they doing to you? 

You watched them intently, the music beginning to slow and the lights growing dim. The spotlight shone on Sam, playing a familiar tune on his piano. Is this greensleeves? Your brow furrowed as you watched him effortlessly play the melody you knew so well. As that came to a close, you watched him fully light and take the first hit from a cigarette, right there on stage. Blowing the smoke from his mouth and watching it dissipate into the light. Oh, he’s surely showing off tonight. 

The music swelled again, and the guitar came in. A haunting sound from Jake that nearly made you stop breathing. This must be one of their new songs. The intro lasted a good bit before they jumped into the full song. You checked your notes. You’d forgotten you kept one of the copies of the setlist. Age of Machine…you remembered listening to this the other night. You watched the crowd go crazy over it, especially as Jake began to go into a solo. Completely captured by his playing again, you felt your head swirling as you watched. It was like he slipped into another dimension and dragged you there with him. But in the moment there was no place you’d rather be. 

The song began to trail into something else, another familiar sound. Was this...? You reached deep into the depths of your memory, trying to remember the garage days. You knew this… this was the song they played at the Groovebox thing… What was the name of it…?

Then it hit you. You made quick eye contact with Sam, “Is this Thunderstomp?!” You mouthed to him. 

He smiled a giant smile, and slowly nodded ‘yes’ as he did so. Wow. You hadn’t heard this in so many years, and they decided to add a snippet in for fun. You suddenly felt all the emotions from the night so far building up. The memories coming back full force of watching them practice for hours in the garage...the day Jake asked Sam to come and play the bass for him. Jake had gotten his first real electric guitar, and fell in love with it. He never set it down. Sam always picking on him for how attached he was. 

You remembered as a kid, your mom and dad would take you over to the Kiszka house while the parents played cards into the early morning hours. Sam would practice the piano for hours on end while you sat and listened, doing homework and watching movies on mute. 

You remembered Sam getting his very own bass guitar for Christmas one year, being surprised and excited, but intimidated nonetheless. 

“Dad this is awesome, but I don’t know how to play it.” He’d said.

“Don’t worry. You’ll pick it up one day.” Kelly winked. 

You remembered the day Jake busted into the living room, carrying Sam’s untouched bass. 

“Hey, come on. We need you to play this.” He said, placing the bass on Sam’s lap. 

“Dude I don’t know how. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Go away.” Sam replied. 

Jake kneeled down next to him, his face softening to match his voice, “Please, Sambo? Try for me. I’ll show you a few chords. I’ll…I’ll teach you.” Jake begged. 

Sam met your eyes, looking for your opinion. All you did was shrug, “Let him teach you. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“You kick ass on the keys, how do you know you won’t kick ass on this too?” Jake pleaded, sending him a warm smile. 

You remembered the visual of Sam reluctantly getting up from the couch and dragging himself to the garage, Jake so excited just to have him there. That he was willing to try, just for him.

Two weeks later, he was a natural. He played it like he’d known how for years. His fingers glided across the strings effortlessly and from then on, you couldn’t drag him away from the garage. 

The memory flashed away as you now watched them on the stage together, sounding as professional as ever, with thousands of fans screaming for them. They had fun together, dancing around and communicating with their eyes. This was their true passion. 

Pride welled up in your chest as you began to cry tears of happiness for them, being so thankful you were there for the beginning of it all, and so sorry you had missed out on the middle. 

—

The show ended on a high note, the encore rounding off the first night perfectly. When the guys flooded off stage, they were full of excitement and exhaustion, searching for drinks and towels, rushing backstage as quickly as possible. Ok, back to work. 

You followed them out, watching as they celebrated together, suppressing your tears and emotions as best you could. You were so proud. 

Everyone was loaded up in the vans, ready to go back to the hotel and clean up from the night. You checked your phone and email one last time, ticking off check marks on your list of post-show tasks. A perfect night, no mishaps whatsoever. You felt so lucky, and truly felt like you had a handle on this job so far. You shot Allison a text letting her know how everything went, and that you were headed back to the hotel for the night.

You sneakily turned your body so your phone was concealed, and opened the photo from Sam again. You felt a wave of nervous excitement flood your system, and you saved the photo to your private album, deleting the one from the text thread. You decided to shoot him a quick text. 

You 11:47 pm: Thank you for that. More where it came from? 

Keys 11:48 pm: You’re very welcome. Absolutely, lots more ;) Come shower with me?

You pondered for a second, not seeing any harm in it. 

You 11:49 pm: I’ll be there.

The vans pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, and everyone began to unload. Everybody was tired, but still a bit keyed up from the excitement of the night. You checked in with the crew, letting everyone know of the meeting time tomorrow morning. With that, you turned your iPad off, and silenced your phone. 

You entered the hotel lobby, rustling around in your backpack for your key card and making your way to the elevator. 

“Hey!” A familiar voice caught you off guard from down the hall. It was Jake walking toward you. Your heart nearly stopped beating. “You ok? I saw you wiping your eyes getting into the van.” 

Oh shit, he’d seen the after effects of your emotional breakdown. 

“Hey! Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a little…in my feelings watching you guys.” you trailed off, already having said too much. 

“Oh, is that…bad?” He asked, completely misunderstanding your reason for tears. 

You gave him a halfhearted smile as you took a deep breath. “Exactly the opposite, actually.” You offered, not wanting to go into any detail at the moment. 

“Okay, well…I was gonna get changed and go down to the hotel bar. Do you… wanna join?” He asked motioning behind him. His eyes were full of hope. 

Yes. Yes I’ll do whatever you ask of me. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. Take me wherever you want and do whatever you want with me. 

“Ah, that’s okay. You go ahead. Rain check, though?” You answered, going against every ounce of judgment in your brain. 

His face fell, defeated. “Yeah, rain check.” He grinned a little, and turned back the way he was heading. You felt like kicking yourself. 

“Oh, Jake?” He turned back around, now walking backwards away from you, hands in his pockets. “You guys sounded really great tonight. It was perfect.” You offered, wanting to give him more, go into every little detail about his playing, ask him a million questions, drone on for hours about how much you loved everything about the show…About him.

“Thanks for keeping us in line, darlin’.” And with that, he turned the corner, and was gone. That was the second time he’d used a pet name tonight. First love, now darlin? He made you weak in the knees.

You boarded the elevator with a heavy fog clouding your mind. You replayed the encounter over and over. You felt terrible for turning his invitation down, but you already made plans to go to Sam’s room. You pressed the button for your floor, and suddenly felt overwhelmingly confused. 

Should you knock on Jake’s door by accident? 

JAKE POV

You should have known she wouldn’t agree to it. Of course she didn’t want to get a drink with you. You purposefully walked to the opposite end of the building to board a different elevator than she had, suddenly feeling stupid for asking her in the first place. 

‘Let her come to you’, Josh’s words ringing through your head over and over as the elevator doors opened. You stepped inside, pulling your phone from your pocket just as Sam stepped in beside you. 

“You good? You look like someone punched you in the gut.” he jokes.

You smirk, “Mmm, kind of feels that way.” you whisper to yourself.

“Huh?” he questions, not hearing your words.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired. Been a minute since I played like that is all. Hand hurts.” you answer.

“Okay...Well, what floor are you?” he asks.

“Eleven.” you answer stoically.

“Oh, me too!” he says, far too joyfully for your taste.

The elevator dings as you arrive at the eleventh floor, both of you stepping out into the carpeted hallway. You pull your keycard from your wallet as you round the corner.

Sam is not too far behind you, but stopping as he reaches the room next to yours, tapping his key to the lock.

“Night!” he says, nodding his head towards you.

“Later.” you reply, opening your door, and stepping inside.

Kicking off your boots you hobble further into the room, turning on a lamp and depositing your things on the dresser in one fell swoop. 

You make your way into the bathroom, turning the shower on, letting the water get hot as you remove your clothes. The shower is quick, rinsing away the remnants of sweat and letting the scalding water relax your tired muscles. You massage the sting in your hand as you close it into a fist. Will this goddamn thing ever heal? 

As the bathroom fills with steam you let your mind wander. It was so good to be back on the stage finally playing the songs as they were intended to be heard. The crowd seemed to love it, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. Did she actually like it? Her smile as you walked off the stage should have been enough of an indication, but the smile was laced with something else. Her eyes were sad. You could tell she had been crying.  You were feeling really confident mid set, nailing every note with ease, just like you practiced time and time again. 

But the sadness of her demeanor as the show ended had you wondering if maybe you hadn’t done as well as you thought. Maybe she was expecting more? If you were good she would have told you, right? You’d do better tomorrow. You’d show her. All you really want is for her to be proud of you.

You turned the knob on the shower, letting the water trickle from the shower head until it came to a stop. You grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped yourself in the scratchy white fabric. Walking back into the room, you unzipped your suitcase pulling out your sweats and a t-shirt before closing it back up. 

You ran your fingers through your wet hair as you spotted the mini bar near the window. Squatting down in front of the offerings you found 4 mini bottles of Jack Daniel’s. Perfect.

Pulling them from the slot, you stood up and grabbed one of the glasses covered with a paper shield, and twisted the lid on the first bottle of Jack. Hesitating, your eyes flashed to the ice bucket. Yeah, I think so. 

Ice bucket in hand you made your way to the door, grabbing your room key and twisting the lock. As you open the door to step out, you glance down the hallway in search of the vending machines, but what you see is not the sight you were looking for. 

You see Y/N standing in front of Sam’s door, about to walk in. Your eyes meet quickly, as your grip on the ice bucket tightens. This is why she turned you down. For Sam.

Her eyes break from yours, glancing at the ice bucket in your hand and tossing you a sorrowful smile, just as she holds the card to the lock. Her eyes flash back up to yours, and you can still see that same look in them that she had earlier. She is sad. She looks away and steps inside, and as the door shuts behind you, you let out the breath that was caught in your chest at first sight of her. 

When will it be my door she walks through? Will it ever be?

—

HER POV

You landed on your floor, and walked to your room to change out of your more professional outfit and into something a little more comfortable. It was a hot day, and changing out of the clothes you’d spent the day sweating in felt nice. You actually were very excited to shower the day off with Sam, and actually enjoy the shower itself. 

You grabbed a pair of jeans and tshirt for the morning walk of shame, and changed into a loose tank top and shorts for tonight. You headed back to the elevator, and up to Sam’s room. On the ride up, you texted him to let him know you were coming. 

You 12:09pm: Almost there! 

Keys 12:10pm: Shower’s hot. 

You 12:10pm: Good. So am I… 

Keys 12:11pm: Hurry up

The elevator doors opened, and you took off down the hallway toward his room, only to be met with Jake, again, walking back down the hall with an ice bucket in hand. You felt like your skull was full of lightning bolts, thoughts bouncing around in your head of what lie you could tell him to get out of this one. 

When his eyes met yours, his posture dropped. You didn’t need to lie. He knew exactly where you were going. Exactly why you turned down drinks. Neither of you said a word, just held eye contact as you walked slowly toward each other and approached your respective doors. You raised the key card to the handle, and it unlocked. You twisted the knob, and gave Jake one last longing look before slipping into Sam’s room. 

You dropped your things on the couch, and took a deep and cleansing breath. Jake just had to be in the hallway at that exact moment, didn’t he? Why did you keep lining up like this? You decided to shake the thought free, and suppress the vision of the look on his face when he realized where you were going. 

You heard the shower running in the bathroom, so you decided to give Sam a little show. You stripped down to nothing, and quietly opened the bathroom door. The shower glass was fogged up, but you could see the silhouette of his body inside. You pulled the handle on the thin glass of the door, and stepped inside. He wiped his face clean of the residual soap he was washing with, and opened his eyes to meet yours. 

“Hey.” You said with a smile. 

“Hey yourself.” He immediately pulled you into him, skin to skin, standing under the hot streams of the shower. “You killed it today, you know. You’re really a natural.” He began to lay his mouth on your neck. 

“Mmm, I dunno Sam. Everyone pretty much already knows exactly what to do and how to do it. I don’t do much.” You replied, tilting your head back to give him more access. 

“I guess…but you keep us on time and in touch. There’s got to be so much you do behind the scenes that no one ever notices.” He went on, turning you around and pulling his fingers through your hair to wet it. 

“I suppose so, but enough about me. Let’s talk about how you guys made me cry in front of all my new coworkers tonight.” You joked, but not really. 

“Ahh, I thought I saw you get a little emotional over there. Was it the Thunderstomp throwback?” he laughed, continuing to massage your scalp. 

“That’s definitely made it worse… I was already just...in awe of you guys. How you sounded. How you performed...it’s unreal Sam. I’m being serious.” 

“Well thanks, babe. I’m sorry you cried. I think happy tears are good for you, though.” He replied. You didn’t have the guts to tell them that they weren’t all happy tears. 

You finished up washing yourselves, and were left still standing in the shower, taking each other in. You brought your hands up to hold Sam’s face, and placed a genuine kiss to his lips. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around you again. He kissed you back, a bit harder this time. You began fighting each other for dominance through the kiss as it became more heated, and your hands began to search each other’s bodies. 

You felt yourself getting insanely turned on as Sam quickly backed you against the wall of the shower, and lifted one of your legs to rest over his hip. He tightened his jaw as he felt himself pressed against you, growing harder with each passing second. “God I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of how you feel...” he said through his clenched teeth. He began to grind against your now spread lips, and the friction was enough to drive you insane. He held you in place while he teased you with his tip, moving it from your clit to your entrance and back again, never fully pressing in. 

“Please Sam, I need you.” You pleaded, begging him to fill you. 

“Tell me what you need, baby. Talk to me.” He growled. 

“Fuck, I need you inside me. Can you?” You looked up at him, giving him the eyes you knew he couldn’t refuse. 

“Tell me why I should fuck you, hm? Give me a good reason...” he continued grinding hard against your clit, causing you to begin to see stars. 

“Because you did so good tonight...played so perfect…” you whimpered. 

He reached and grabbed your tit with his free hand, giving it a rewarding squeeze. 

“Yeah? You enjoyed yourself tonight? Liked watching me up there?” He twisted your nipple, eliciting a cry from your throat. 

“Yeah Sammy, I did like watching you...playing for all those people. So hot. All those screaming fans wishing they could have you…let you take them back to your room and have your way with them…” you spoke between breaths. 

Suddenly he separated from you and released your leg, spinning you around to lean your arms down on the seat in the shower. You bent in half, and looked back toward him. He laid a loud smack across your right ass cheek, spurring you on. 

“Keep going...” he ordered. 

“But you weren’t going to bring them back to your room, because you knew I would come. And I would fuck you just how you like…right Sammy?” You said, backing yourself against him, teasing him a little now. 

He let out a low growl, bringing his hands to your hips and pulling himself toward you. “Mmmmhm… but you did something you shouldn’t have, didn’t you angel?”

“And what is that?” you ask.

“I happened to see a sexy little picture on Jake’s phone… one that I’ve seen before…” he says, continuing to tease you.

“Mmmm… I may have sent it… Are you jealous Sammy?” you ask, pressing yourself back to him.

“No. Should I remind you who has you bent over in the shower with their cock inside you?” he says, pressing just the tip to your opening.

You decided to keep going. “I opened the photo you sent me during the show tonight…you looked so hot Sam...made me wet just looking at it…couldn’t take my eyes off of you all night.” he was teasing your entrance again. 

“Fuckkkkk me…” he huffed, letting himself enter you just a little bit. 

“Yeah Sam, please. Listen to yourself, falling apart for me, do it.” You stepped your legs apart a little and swayed your hips for him, giving him no choice but to give you what you wanted. Suddenly, you heard the shower turn off. 

You turned to face him, a devilish look painting his features.

“Go get on the bed. Don’t dry off.” He spoke sternly smacking your ass, and you had no choice but to do just that.

JAKE POV

You watch as the ice starts to melt in the glass as you pour over the tiny bottle of warm Jack Daniels. Only giving it just enough time to chill before tossing it back and twisting the lid on the next. 

You listen as the TV drones on in the background, playing some crime investigation show that you haven’t been paying attention to. How could you after that? 

You wish you could silence the thoughts plaguing your mind. Wish you could drown them in the mini bottles of liquor now swirling through your bloodstream. But you can’t.

When the bottles are empty and your mind is fuzzy you retire to the bed, turning off the lamp and lowering the volume on the TV. As you scroll through your phone your eyelids become heavy and start to become harder and harder to hold open. 

Thump.

Your eyes shot open. What was that? 

Thump.

You sat up in your bed, looking around to find the source of the noise. Fucking hotels. The clock read 1:07 am.  You had only been asleep for about 15 minutes. Pushing your hair out of your face you shake your head and lay back down. You grab the remote, turning the TV off, and trying to close your eyes to find the sleep you were disturbed from. 

Thump. Thump.

“What the fuck…” you growl, but thats when you hear it. The muffled groan. 

Your eyes widen as you realize where the noise is coming from. Fuck me.

Then you hear it again, the stifled whine traveling through the wall from Sam’s room. Wait, are they fighting? A pitchy moan floats through the wall. Oh, they are not fighting…God, I should not be listening to this.

Grabbing the remote you turn the TV back on, hoping the noise will drown out the sex seeping in from next door. Fucking Sam, what an asshole. They could have at least gone to her room.

As you lay there staring at the TV screen you watch as the detectives cover a body with a tarp as you hear the repeated moans echoing through the walls. Shit, kill me too while you’re at it.

Turning the volume up further on the TV you placed a pillow over your head, and tried to go back to sleep. Letting the soft feather pillow rest over your face, you feel yourself starting to slip back into that sleepy state. As your eyes begin to shut you hear the headboard as it slams against the wall yet again. Jesus Christ, when did he get so much stamina?

You grab the pillow and throw it to the other side of the bed in frustration and that's when the final straw is snapped. The fucked out moan you can hear clear as day through the paper thin walls, ‘Sam…’ 

You grab your phone off of the nightstand, finding his contact and hitting call. It’s no surprise when it rings through to voicemail. Asshole. You sigh as you set the phone down, seeing the black room phone sitting on the stand next to the lamp. Ha...he can’t ignore that.

Flicking on the lamp you pick up the phone, and call in to the front desk. It rings in for a moment before the woman on the other end asks what she can do to help you. “Hey, this is Jake Kiszka in room 1109, could you please connect me to Sam Kiszka in room 1107?” you ask as politely as possible.

“Sure thing, have a great night.” she replies, transferring the call and letting it ring through. You pull the receiver away from your ear as you listen to hear his phone ringing next door. Got ya bitch.

“Hello?” he answers, voice thick with confusion.

“Good evening Samuel. Do you think you could keep it the fuck down over there?” you ask.

He clears his throat, “You can… hear… over there?” he asks nervously.

“Yeah, I can and if I have to hear one more thing, the next scream to leave your mouth will be the last when I come over there and make you the next victim on this late-night murder investigation show I'm watching.” you say, hanging up the phone. That should do it. 

Turning the lamp back off you adjust your pillows and roll to your side. The noise stopped after that and you found yourself falling back asleep, but it was not lost on you that the noises you were hearing were also coming from her. Does he make her happy? Does she even remember what it felt like to be with you? You wanted to be the reason she made those noises, not him. Would you ever get to do that again? You forced the thoughts out of your head and let the darkness carry your mind away to a place far, far from here.

NIGHT TWO

HER POV

Your alarm goes off right at 7:00, forcing your eyes open in panic. The room is bright, as the sun shines through from the window. The curtains left open in the haste of the evening. 

Turning your head you see Sam, still passed out next to you, clearly unaffected by the sound of the alarm. You smirk as you roll to your side, grabbing your phone and scrolling through your emails, trying to wake up your brain for another insane day of work. 

After a few minutes, you take one last look at Sam, sneak out of the bed and gather your clothes from the floor, sliding them back on as you search for your room key. You shut the door quietly behind you, as you make your way to the elevator pressing the call button to take you to your floor.

It dings as the doors open to reveal none other than Josh standing inside, steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand. 

“Good morning!” he says cheerily, voice still thick with sleep. 

“Hi Josh, looks like I don't need to knock on your door do I?” you laugh, pressing the 4th floor button until it’s illuminated. 

“Knock on my door?” he asks, sipping from the steaming cup.

“Oh, yeah I told Sam and Danny I would come knock on their doors when they needed to get up today. Like a wake up call kinda, but I don't need to wake them up for another hour or so. You guys have an interview at the venue this morning.” you answer. 

“Oh. We do?” he asks, brow furrowed.

You pulled out your phone and looked at the schedule for today. “Uh, yeah, right here. 11:00, it’s for Premier Guitar. Looks like it’s a Sam and Jake interview.”

“Oh, the guy for Rig Rundown?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's what it says in the notes.” you reply.

“Hmm… no one ever wants to hear about what the singer does…” he says dramatically ending with a wink and a smile.

“You and Danny have one later in the day, drama queen.”

The elevator descends slowly and you watch as the numbers start to count down.

“So if you don't have to wake them up for another hour, where were you coming from?” he asks, with a knowing smirk.

You cut your eyes at him, not wanting to answer his question. “Would you look at that, here's my floor...” you say stepping out into the hallway through the open doors. 

“Hey, wait.” he calls, holding the door open with his arm. You turn to look at him, sending him a questioning look.

“Can we… talk later?” he asks.

You swallow nervously as your mind tries to come up with an answer, “About what?”

He tilts his head in response and you know exactly what he wants to talk about. You let a sigh leave your chest as you concede, “Okay... Later.”

He smiles and removes his arm, taking a sip of his coffee and raising his eyebrow as the doors shut in front of him.

Shit.

—

After a long shower and some primping you are feeling good and ready to tackle another day. You check your phone to see that it’s time to go wake up the rest of the guys to make sure they have enough time to get ready and be at the venue on time. 

Pressing the button for the elevator you make your way to Danny’s room first, knocking on the door twice and waiting for some type of confirmation that he was awake. After a minute or two you heard the lock twist and the door open, to see a mess of curls and tired eyes. 

“Good morning…” he groans. “How long do I have? Is there coffee?” he asks.

“You have about an hour until we need to meet downstairs. Yes there is coffee.” you answer.

He drags his hand over his face and groans as he nods his head. “Thank you. Really. I will see you shortly.” he smiles, and you turn on your heels heading back to the elevator. 

Stepping off on floor eleven, you try to decide if you should wake Sam first or Jake first, knowing that both had a very late night, and are not particularly morning people. Picking the lesser of the two evils you head to Sam’s door, tapping the key to the lock and letting it open.

He is almost exactly how you left him, except the blankets have been shoved down to the foot of the bed, the heat of the sun shining in, warming the room. You sit on the edge of the bed, and grab his leg, shaking it gently to try and wake him. “Sammy…” you whisper.

A groan leaves his chest, “Not yet…” he whines, throwing a pillow over his eyes.

“I let you sleep as long as I could…you have to get up or you’re going to be late.” you say softly.

“Ugh… you sound like my mother…” he says.

You stand up and walk to his side of the bed, hovering over top of him as your hands cage in his head. You lean down and press a kiss to the side of his neck, hoping that it would at least get him to open his eyes, and like magic it works.

His dark brown eyes flutter open quickly raking over you as his lips turn into a smile.

“Damn, you look gorgeous, did you do something different to your hair?” he asks, reaching up to run his fingers through the silky smooth locks.

You laugh as you stand up, “I had some time this morning so I gave myself a blowout, why do you like it?” you ask.

“Yeah… you look…hot.” he smiles, sitting up in the bed and grabbing your hand pulling you towards him. “How much time do we have again?” he asks suggestively.

“Not enough…now get up and get in the shower. I’ll see you downstairs in an hour. Please be on time…” you say making your way back to the door. 

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Next door. I have to wake up your brother.” you answer.

Guilt shoots through him as he remembers the events of the evening, “Probably not so sexy of a wake up call for him though, huh?” 

You laugh, “No, probably not Sam. Just you.” you say in a mocking tone, letting the door shut behind you.

You nervously walk the few steps to his door, as the memory of his face last night flashes through your brain. If you had just been 2 minutes earlier he wouldn’t have seen you walking into Sam’s room. You swallow shakily as you lift your hand to knock on the heavy wooden door. 

You stand there anxiously, waiting to see if you can hear any sign of life on the other side. When you hear nothing, you decide to knock again, this time being met with the door being thrown open and an irritated Jake on the other side. 

His face softens as he realizes it’s you and he swallows back the harsh words that were about to leave his lips. 

Your eyes travel up the length of his body as he stands there leaning against the door frame in just his sweats. You cast your eyes to the floor as you try to speak the twenty different thoughts swirling through your brain, “Umm… hey… I just…I woke up the rest of the guys… you have an interview later…just didn’t want you to oversleep. I didn’t mean to bother you…I didn’t even ask you if you wanted a wake up call, did I? You probably didn’t…I’m sorry… I was just next door and I thoug–” you stammered before he stopped you.

“Hey. Relax. It’s fine. Thanks for waking me up. Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed. I’m hungover as fuck, is there coffee downstairs anywhere?” he grumbles, rubbing his face.

You blink blankly at him as your brain searches for any words, “Uhh, yeah. Yes. There is. I can have room service send some up if you want.” you say pulling your phone from your back pocket.

“No, no it’s okay, I can get it. Thank you though. Thanks for waking me. What time do I need to be down there?” he asks.

You check the time on your phone, “Like… 45 minutes.” you answer, biting your lip.

His eyes meet yours, and he smiles softly as he nods his head, “Thank you.” You nod in return, turning to walk back to the elevator, and stepping inside as the doors opened. But as the doors began to close you noticed him still standing in his doorway, watching you leave. Your eyes meeting his and never breaking away until the doors slid shut. 

—

Your foot bounces nervously on the lobby floor as you wait for the guys to begin trickling down stairs. You check the time on your phone as texts and emails continue to pour in. Danny is the first to meet you, taking a seat next to you on the small couch. 

“I’m not surprised you’re the first one down.” you laugh.

“Yeah, I am usually the one doing the wake up calls, it was nice to be the recipient this time.” he smiles.

A few minutes later you see Sam strolling out of the elevator, fresh from the shower, hair still wet and slicked back, just barely touching the collar of his white shirt. 

“My two favorite people!” he says, positioning himself on the chair across from you.

“Ready for your big interview?” you ask.

“Oh, yeah, we have done this with him before, but this time my bass actually has strings.” he laughs. “But, I had an idea and I will need your help…” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

He spends the next ten minutes telling you and Danny about his hairbrained idea involving a tiny table and chairs and a bottle of vodka, both of you erupting in laughter. You shoot a quick text to one of the crew members, trying to coordinate those details for him knowing it will add some comedy to an otherwise monotonous interview. 

Summer is the next one down, sitting next to Danny and immediately starting up an overly animated conversation.

The elevator dings and you all turn your heads to see Josh and Jake walking out of the elevator together, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes meet Jakes.

He looks so…good. Dressed in a black button up, sans buttons, a navy blue blazer, and a pair of loose fitting jeans, he looked perfectly disheveled. Mature. Expensive. Much different from the guy you knew a few years ago in ripped jeans and cut off t-shirts. But as he approached you, you could smell him. His cologne leaving a trail behind him as he walked, spicy and warm and positively intoxicating. You swallowed harshly trying to keep your composure as you let the scent fill your nose. 

“We ready to go?” Josh asked, looking around at the group.

You stood up from the couch, clutching your iPad, “Yeah, the van was here like twenty minutes ago.” you laugh.

“Some of us needed a little extra sleep this morning. Didn’t sleep well last night. Thin walls, you know?” Jake says, tossing a bitter look to Sam.

Sam’s face turns pale as he stands up and walks towards the door heading for the van. Guilt washes through you as you follow the rest of them out the doors and into the bright sun.

You all pile into the van, and thankfully the drive is short, as Summer has not stopped talking since the doors shut. All of the guys were being far too polite and were too hungover to tell her to stop. You spend most of the ride responding to emails and running over the itinerary for the day and before you know it you are pulling into the back of the venue. As you all step out, the guys linger waiting to be told where they need to be. 

“Okay, Jake and Sam, John with Premier Guitar will be here in about 45 minutes to start the interview. Sam I already talked to Mike and he is getting your little table ready. Josh and Daniel, the interviewer from 105.9 will be here at 12:30. After that you’re free to do whatever you need to do. Summer, if you want to just kind of float around and get some photos of the guys, you are good to do your own thing. Any questions?” you ask.

They all nod their heads and break off towards the green room as you and Summer walk towards the stage to check on the progress. 

“Was your room okay last night?” you ask, trying to make small talk.

She holds her camera up to her eye, checking her settings as she turns to you, “Yeah, it was really nice. How about yours?”

“Oh, yeah, the rooms are great. Hoping to get better sleep tonight though. Looking forward to another jam-packed day, first.” you laugh.

Looking over her shoulder she checks her surroundings, “Okay was it just me or was Jake looking extra good this morning? Did you smell him? Ugh, I hope he never buttons his shirts ever again.” she giggles.

You laugh, “He looked pretty hungover to me…”

“But you have to admit he's hot though…” she says, holding the camera up to her eye, snapping the capture button.

“Our boss? Jake?” you say, condescendingly.

“Ugh… objectively then. Just as a man.” she says.

“Yes, objectively as a man he is attractive, but he’s still our boss and has the ability to fire us for any reason he sees fit. I think it would be smart to keep that in mind, you know?” you quip.

“Yeah, yeah… I hear you.” she smiles, before scurrying off to the soundbooth.

You shake your head as you climb the stairs to the stage, looking to make sure the table and chairs are set in the back for Sam. When you see the tiny table and the drinks you laugh, ready to see how his little vision will play out later. 

Walking back down the steps you thank the crew for assisting with the last minute addition before making your way to the green room. You check the time on your phone, seeing that the interviewer will be here any minute. Jake and Sam were lounging on the couch, nursing their hangovers with none other than more alcohol.

You shake your head as you address them, “Are you two ready?”

Sam stands up and slides his black loafers back on, as he tries to crack his knuckles, “Yeah I’m ready if he is.” he says motioning to Jake, who is sipping from his paper cup, sunglasses sitting low on his nose.

“Alright alright���Yes, I’m ready.” he says, pushing his sunglasses up and tossing back the rest of his drink. He stands to meet Sam and fixes his blazer and shirt, making himself look less hungover and more presentable. 

A knock at the door has your head snapping to meet it, as you reach for the handle. You’re met with the sight of an older man, who you’re assuming was here to interview them, with a bag full of mics and a camera team.

“Hey, I’m John with Premier Guitar. You guys ready!?” he asks excitedly.

Suddenly Jake steps forward, his entire demeanor changing as he becomes a more polished and clean version of himself, shaking hands with the man like they were old friends. Jake led him and his crew out to the stage, as you and Sam followed closely behind. 

“Geeze, that was weird, he just…turned on.” you say to Sam.

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, he does that… Mr. Popularity… I tell ya…” he says. “Alright, see you in a bit.” he says, squeezing your hand before climbing up the stairs to the stage.

You watch from the side stage, as Jake talks intently about his passion, explaining the ins and outs of his set up, the ideas he came up with for the sound and the way he intends things to be heard. It’s incredibly addicting watching him speak so passionately about what he loves. You have a hard time tearing your eyes away from him as you watch him demonstrate the different pedals and effects, pouring his soul into every note. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed as you watched, but when a gentle hand made its way to your shoulder you were snapped from your moment of weakness.

“Oh, hi.” you say, turning to see Josh.

“Having fun?” he asks with a knowing tone.

“Just… making sure everything is running smoothly.” you answer.

“Right, right. That's all, hmm?” he asks with a wink.

You shake your head, “What’s up?” 

“Come walk with me, wanna talk to you.” he says, gesturing to follow him.

“Right now? They are right in the middl–” you start.

“Exactly, let’s go.” he says, raising his eyebrows.

With a huff, you follow after him, meeting his stride as you head back towards the dressing rooms. 

He steps inside, shutting the door behind you and taking a seat on the couch. You place your iPad on the table and sit down across from him. 

“Okay, what’s up, are you firing me?” you laugh.

He laughs his genuine laugh, “No, of course not. You’re doing spectacular. No, I want to talk about… something else.”

You feel your palms start to sweat, and suddenly you know what he wants to talk about.

“Okay…” you reply nervously.

“How long are you two going to do this?” he asks.

“Do what?” you ask.

He tilts his head, “Come on Y/N, you know what. The back and forth, the subtle glances, the longing for each other from across the room…”

You let out a sigh,“I don’t think it’s like that between us anymore…I don’t think he feels… the same way anymore.” you offer.

A scoff leaves his chest, “Open your eyes Y/N. That man is deeply, deeply in love with you. Has been since he was sixteen years old. I think it’s safe to say he feels the same way as he always has.”

“He just broke up with Sophia, and… I don’t know, I thought maybe we would talk after all of that happened, but… we haven’t and… I’m just… waiting. I don’t know what for…I guess I just don’t want to mess things up. Tour just started. I don’t know Josh, everything is a mess. And really, truly he hasn’t really given me any indication that he wants to talk. Although… I guess he did ask to get drinks last night…”

“And… did you?” he asks, shocked.

“No.” you say looking at the floor.

“What? Why not?” he asks.

“Well… I had already made plans with Sam.” you reply.

He drags his hand across his face, “Shit Y/N…”

“Do you love him?” he asks.

“Who Sam!?” you ask, looking at him like he's crazy.

“No, Jake.” he replies.

You pause for a moment, your eyes searching his as you answer, “Of course I do, Josh. I never stopped.”

“So what are you waiting for? Go to him!” he urges.

“I can’t! It’s not that simple!” you say, raising your voice.

“It is! Cut things off with Sam and go talk to Jake! He needs you, and you’re torturing him. He is waiting for you!” he begs.

“He’s waiting for me? I’ve been waiting for him.” you breathe, almost a whisper.

“Yeah. He is. And in the meantime it’s killing him to watch you with Sam.” he says.

“He saw me…last night. I turned him down in the lobby. I really wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t just ditch Sam. He’s been there for me a lot lately, he means a lot to me, you know? Anyways, I felt terrible. Awful actually. But I went to Sam’s room, and as I was unlocking the door, Jake coming out of his room at the exact moment. He knew I turned him down for Sam. I wanted to disintegrate.” you say.

“I know. He texted me about it…Drank half of the mini bar because of it. Like I said, you’re torturing him.” he quipped. “You two need to talk. Seriously.”

“I know. I’m just scared Josh.” you admit.

“Don’t be scared, all he wants to do is love you.” he says.

“I’m not the same person I used to be. What if he doesn’t like who I am now?” you ask.

“He has loved every version of you he’s ever met, Y/N.” he offers.

You nod your head as you try to blink away the tears forming in your eyes. 

“You are the only thing he has ever wanted, apart from this.” he says motioning around him. “Now he has it, but what is all of this without you? This will never be enough for him. He needs you.”

A single tear streaks down your face, as your walkie talkie beeps on your shoulder. ‘Y/N can you meet us at the soundbooth?’

“I have to go.” you say standing up and wiping away the tear.

“Okay, please, just think about what I said. Just talk to him.” he begs.

You swallow back the lump in your throat, “I will. Promise.” and with that you’re out the door. 

As you hear it slam behind you, a shaky breath releases from your chest, just as Sam and Jake come barreling down the hallway. You do your best to put on a happy face as you see them, but you can see Jake’s smile drop as he meets your gaze. 

Sam tries to stop you but you push past, “I have to go to the soundbooth but I’ll be right back okay?” Sam tosses you a concerned look but you ignore it, knowing if you turned around you would break down completely. 

—

With only five minutes until the show began, you started to run through your final checklist, making sure everyone was dressed and ready, and had everything they needed. Again tonight you got to stand by and watch their pre show ritual, your heart instantly flooded with pride, just the same as last night. 

You stand by the door as they file out one by one, checking to make sure their outfits are perfect. Josh first, then Danny, followed by Sam.

“Spin, let me see you.” you say, causing Sam to twirl in a circle with his topo chico in hand. 

“Oh, let me fix your pants.” you say squatting down to smooth out the baby blue fabric on his leg. 

“There. Off you go.” you say, swatting his butt with the iPad in your hand. 

Finally, Jake walks out of the door, and as you check his outfit you see his collar flipped up again. “Hey, wait...” you say, the crowd roaring in the distance.

He turns to face you, swallowing as his eyes meet yours. “Your collar…again.” you smile, focusing on the fabric, folding it into place, letting your hand slide down his lapel ever so slightly. He turns and repositions his jacket, throwing his hair over his shoulders before turning back to you “Am I good?” he asks innocently, eyes searching yours.

Your eyes flick back up to meet his, “You’re perfect.” you breathe.

You watch as the sides of his lips turn upwards, as he tries to stifle back a smile.

He turns to catch up with the guys, looking over his shoulder at you once more before climbing the stairs to the stage.

You toss your head back onto the wall and sigh, continuing to think about what Josh said earlier. He was right, you really didn’t know what you were waiting for. 

You would talk to him. Tonight. 

—

Somehow the show tonight was even better than the night before. While you’re sure it had something to do with the show being recorded tonight, part of you wants to believe they will just get better and better with every show under their belt. Josh’s vocals were incredible, nailing each note with perfect precision, and making it look easy.

Your eyes were once again drawn to Jake as he played through the set putting every ounce of effort he had into the performance. He lived for this, and it was very apparent in the passion he poured into each show. Every so often you would peel your eyes away from his hands working the strings, and focus on Sam, vying for the attention of the girls on the barricade screaming his name. You shook your head and smiled at the looks he would give them. He is such a flirt. 

When the guys rushed off stage before the encore, it was a flurry of hands, towels and water flying past your face as they all ran to the bathrooms. Quickly they returned one by one, preparing for the last 20 minutes of the show. 

Pulling his jacket back over his arms, you watched the sweat continue to pour down Jake's stomach meeting the top of his pants. As you watched it drip you caught yourself, forcing your eyes back up to his face, only to be caught in the act. 

A sly smile crossed his lips as he repositioned his guitar over his body, raising his eyebrows at you quickly before striding back onto the stage.

Shit. What was that?

The rest of the show was magnetic and you positively could not pull your eyes away from Josh as he gave the crowd everything he had. As the last notes rang through the venue you stood to the side, watching the guys rush past you one by one with haste as they made their way back to the green room. 

You left the crew to do their thing and begin breaking down the set, as you start to run through the inventory checklist backstage, checking off each item as it was placed into its case. As you make your way towards the dressing rooms, you instruct the crew to hang their white coveralls in the travel case to be dry cleaned. Stepping into the main green room you see everyone standing around enjoying a much deserved drink, talking and laughing over the success of the show. 

“Hey guys, you sounded amazing tonight! The van should be here in about 15 minutes to take you back to the hotel, so if you will just hang your suits in the case outside the door, I will send them off to be dry cleaned.”

They all nod in agreement, turning back to their conversations. Sam walks over to you, throwing his arm over your shoulder planting a kiss on your cheek. “You did it! Your first shows are done and dusted.” he smiles.

You wrap your arm around his waist, and laugh, “Well, I still have to make sure the rest of the crew gets the stage and everything packed up before I am done, but you guys are free to go when the van gets here. No need to wait on me.” you smile.

“Nonsense. We’re staying, right guys?” he asks, pulling you closer into his side.

“Yeah, we don’t have anywhere to be, as long as there is alcohol we are set.” Josh answers with a laugh. 

“Okay, it shouldn't be too long I don’t think…” you say, releasing yourself from Sam's grip. “I’ll go check and see what the progress looks like and report back.”

You excuse yourself from the room, mind a blur as the image of Jake’s still sweaty body sat lounging on the leather couch. Shit, will I ever get used to that?

Returning to the stage you see that the crew is practically finished, just loading the pieces into the semi. You talk with the crew, releasing them for the night once they are finished, and telling them you would send them the schedule for tomorrow as soon as you could.

About twenty minutes later you are walking back into the green room to see that everyone had changed into their normal clothes, hanging their suits just like you asked. As you took a survey of the room you saw Sam and Danny chatting in the corner, Josh looking at his phone and Jake talking intently to Summer, who was practically perched in his lap as she spoke to him.

Your brow furrowed as you watched them, deeply engrossed in what each other was saying. You couldn’t fully hear their conversation, but you could see the pink in Jake’s cheeks as he laughed and smiled at her words. You could see the twinkle in her eyes as she continued to flirt with him, starting a fire in your chest. Maybe he does like her…

You turn your attention to Josh, “You ready to get out of here?” you ask.

He turns his head to look at Jake and Summer before answering you. “Yeah, probably should. Give any thought to what I said earlier?”

“Yeah, I did… I thought maybe I would talk to him tonight but now I don't know… He seems a little… preoccupied.” you respond.

“Ahh…He’s just being nice, don’t worry about her. He only has eyes for you.” he smiles as he stands up. “Alright boys, let's go!” he says, getting the attention of the other guys.

You make your way over to Sam, letting him pull you into his lap wrapping his arms around your waist as you laugh. You see Jake's eyes flash over to yours, connecting briefly as Sam whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he continues his conversation with Danny. Jake’s face drops, the sudden rosy quality of his face draining away to a pale shade that made you feel sick. 

You didn’t want Summer to see the interaction between you and Sam so you quickly stood up, and made your way over to the door, opening it for everyone as they started to gather their things. Summer was the first out, camera bag in hand and completely oblivious to your moment with Sam. Jake followed after her, stopping to let Danny and Josh walk out before him.

As they filed out you shut the door behind yourself, wondering if Josh was actually right about Jake. Was he really still in love with you? He looked awfully cozy with Summer… 

No. No more excuses. You were going to talk to him. You didn’t know how, but you knew you had to.

JAKE POV

Walking to catch up with Josh you leaned closer to whisper into his ear, “Did you see that shit Sam pulled? Why does he do that right in front of me? Does he think this is some kind of game?” you asked.

“Ahh… he probably saw how comfortable you looked with Summer and thought you wouldn’t mind.” he answers, raising his eyebrow.

“She came to talk to me… what was I supposed to do?” you ask.

“She did not come to talk to you Jacob. She was flirting with you. Even Y/N noticed.” he says.

What?

“She did?” you asked, rubbing your jaw nervously.

“Yeah…Hey listen I talked to her today…” he starts just as you arrive at the van. 

“And… what? What did she say?” you beg, turning him to face you.

The van driver begins to talk to him and he gets distracted from your conversation, “Josh. What did she say?” you demand.

He looks around, not making eye contact with you, “Now isn’t a good time. I will tell you later. Promise.” he says, stepping into the van.

Fucker.

You climb in after him, pulling your phone from your pocket to distract yourself from the sight of her and Sam sitting in front of you. Summer climbs in taking the seat next to you and smiling at you as she settles her camera bag onto her lap. As the van begins to drive away she pulls her camera from its case and starts to flip through the photos from the night. You peer over her shoulder as you see shot after shot of yourself playing.

Damn, those are kinda good…

Every few photos she would pat your thigh to get your attention, sending a shiver up your spine as she would show you a particularly good shot. Much of the van ride was silent, apart from the few ‘ooo’s’ that would leave her mouth as she looked through her shots. 

As the van pulled up outside the hotel you all filed out, you and Josh being the last ones out. Summer walked ahead as you stayed back to try and get Josh to finish what he was trying to tell you earlier.

“Okay, tell me. What did you two talk about.” you ask.

He sighs as he answers, “Well… you.” 

You look ahead to find her, and see her walking into the elevator. “Yeah, and…” you urge.

The doors shut, leaving the two of you waiting for the next elevator. 

“I think it would be better if you heard it from her. She wants to talk, Jake. She told me.” he says.

The doors open to the elevator, and the both of you walk in, pressing the buttons for your respective floors, as the doors shut once again. 

“Okay but when?” you ask desperately. 

“I don't know Jake, but I think it will be soon.” he says, as the doors open on his floor. “Just be patient. Call me if you need me.” he says, stepping out and walking away.

God damnit. You were done being patient. Should you go to her? Should you wait for her to come to you?

Tapping your key card to your door you step inside and throw yourself onto the bed with a sigh. Fucking hell what an exhausting day.

As you lay there running your hands over your face you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Removing a hand from your face you reach into the pocket and retrieve your phone.

Summer 11:48pm : Some of us are going to the bar downstairs, wanna come?

You practically drained the mini bar last night, why not? Maybe Y/N will be there.

You 11:50pm: Sure, be there shortly.

Summer 11:51pm: :)

After a few minutes freshening up in the bathroom you make your way back down to the lobby and over into the bar. You see Danny and Summer sitting at the bar chatting and walk over to join them.

“Hey man, didn’t think you were gonna make it.” Danny says facetiously.

“Ahh Daniel… You know I can’t turn down a good stiff drink after a long show.” you laugh.

You take a seat next to Summer, and order a Glenlivet on the rocks, sipping the spicy liquid from the rim of the glass.

After a little rundown of the show the conversation quickly turns into Danny telling Summer every embarrassing story about you that he can come up with. Summer is full of laughter, patting your knee and smiling as she listens intently to Danny’s stories. 

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or exhaustion but, the more you got to talk to her and get to know her, you were starting to enjoy her company. She is kind of pretty…she has a great smile. 

You found yourself listening closer as she spoke, and genuinely laughing at her jokes. After two more scotch’s Daniel retired to bed, leaving you and Summer at the bar, still sipping away as the conversation flowed. 

As she grabbed her glass from the bar top, the condensation pooling under her fingers causing her glass to slip, spilling the mojito all over herself.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, grabbing the tiny cocktail napkins from the counter and pressing them to her now soaked shirt.

“Here let me grab you some more napkins.” you say reaching over the bartop.

“Actually, want me to run up and grab you a dry shirt? I have a few spares.” you offer.

Her eyes flash over to yours, “Are you sure you don't mind?”

“No, not at all.” you say, standing a little too quickly, causing your head to spin. 

“Actually, do you mind if I come with you? I’d love to be able to wash this off a little bit.” she asks.

“Uh, sure, no problem.” you say, leading the way.

She follows you into the elevator, her wet shirt clinging to her body, and you find that you’re having a hard time peeling your eyes away from her chest.

You swallow heavily as the doors open, and you let her walk out in front of you, telling her the room number as you make your way to the door. You tap your card to the lock, letting it open and guiding her inside. 

“Bathroom is right there, use anything you need.” you offer, walking over to your suitcase looking for a shirt. 

Finding the one you were looking for you turn around to see her stepping back out of the bathroom, but the wet shirt is gone, and she’s approaching you in just her bra. 

Fuck…

You quickly turn around, trying to give her privacy, only to be met with a giggle from across the room. 

“You don’t have to turn around Jake…I’m not shy…” she says.

“Just trying to give you some privacy.” you stammer.

“It’s just a bra, it’s not like I’m naked…” she laughs. “It’s okay, really. You can turn around. I know you want to…”

You press your lips together, biting them between your teeth as you turn to face her. She’s right. You do want to turn around. You hand her the t-shirt and like magnets, your eyes are drawn to her chest and the curve of her breasts spilling over her black bra. 

She watches you as you take her in, finding your mind wandering to a place you least expected it to. She slides the shirt over her head, never breaking eye contact with you as you step closer to her. 

“Well, how does it look?” she asks, stepping closer to you. 

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as you slide your hands around her waist. 

Her hands come to rest at the opening of your shirt, sliding up your chest and behind your neck.

“A perfect fit, I’d say. But I almost liked it better, off. ” you say, voice thick with lust.

She reaches down, grabbing the hem of the shirt, tossing it onto the bed behind you leaving her in just her bra in front of you.

Your thumbs circle the smooth skin of her stomach as she repositions herself in front of you, pulling your face closer to hers. 

“Better?” she whispered against your lips.

“Yeah, I think so.” you answer confidently, pressing your lips to hers, tasting the mint from her mojitos on her lips. You pull away quickly, testing the waters before kissing her again, this time a little harder. 

The kiss becomes more furious, your tongue tangling with hers as her hands wind into your hair. She steps backwards pulling you towards the bed, as you trail sloppy kisses down her neck and chest, pushing her towards the bed. 

“Did you like the pictures I took of you tonight, Jake?” she asked, voice thick with lust.

“Mmmmhm…” you groaned, as she fell beneath you.

She falls backwards as you kneel over her, trailing kisses over the curve of her breasts.

“You looked so good. So sexy. I couldn’t stop…” she breathes. 

She grabs your hand to place it over the cup of her bra, guiding you to grab at her curvy flesh. You return your mouth to hers, deepening the kiss, as your fingers slide the strap of her bra down her shoulder. 

“Do you want to fuck me Jake?” she asks in a breathy tone. 

Just as you go to answer her you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket again and you pull away from her and kneel on the bed, quickly looking to see who it was. 

Shit.

You look back to Summer, waiting for you to return your lips to hers, and answer her question. Right then you felt a pang in your chest. What are you doing? You are making a huge mistake. You stand up from the bed, adjusting your pants as you open the message. 

LD 12:03am : Hey, are you still up? Can we talk?

Your heart sinks into your stomach as you read it. No…Fuck. What shit timing. 

Your eyes flick back to Summer. She has to leave, right now.

Leaning away from her, you push yourself up off of the bed, fixing your shirt and wiping your lips. 

“I’m sorry, we can’t do this.” you say stepping back and pacing across the room. 

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“We work together, we can’t hook up. We shouldn’t have done this.” you answer. 

“What’s the big deal Jake? It doesn’t have to turn into anything. No one has to know. Can be our little secret.” she smirks.

“No. It can’t. You’re here to do your job, and I am here to do mine. If you’re not capable of that, I will find someone else to do it.” you say sternly.

She sits up, pulling the t-shirt over her head, covering herself back up as she stands up from the bed. “Damn I guess Y/N was right…did you turn her down too?” she asks sarcastically. 

“What?” you ask.

“Y/N told me not to bother with you, that you only cared about work. I thought she was just trying to scare me off… Guess she was right afterall. What a shame…” she says, grabbing her purse from the chair. 

She does care…

“Summer, you are a beautiful girl but this just can’t happen between us. I really am sorry, okay? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, I just think we need to keep things professional for the sake of the tour.” you say, trying your best to calm the fire. 

“Sure Jake…whatever you say… I’ll see you in the morning.” she says, shutting the door behind her. 

Oh my god, what a nightmare. 

How could you be so stupid? Worst of all you weren’t even enjoying it. 

You open the message reading it again. ‘Can we talk?’ Your mind was reeling. You were in no shape to try and talk to her, even though that’s all you wanted to do. The scotch was still working its way through your system, and you knew she deserved more than your half drunk confession. 

You needed to text her back. At least tell her you wanted to, just not tonight. You walked over to the mini bar, pulling out the only remaining bottles. Tequila. 

You walked over to the door, flipping the lock and kicking off your shoes. You stripped down to your boxers and made your way into the bed, mini bottles in tow. You twisted the lid on the first tossing it down as you reopened the text. What should you say?

Typing in the message you hover over the send button, but quickly delete the thought. No. That’s not right. 

You shoot down the next bottle and place it on the nightstand, turning off the lamp. You settle down into the pillows and push your hair from your face. Okay. Let’s try again. 

The screen was starting to become blurry as the tequila entered your bloodstream. You were having a hard time focusing and you could feel the sleep creeping into your body. Your eyes began to close as your thumb hovered over the button. 

Just send the message Jake. 

Just hit send. 

—

HER POV

The next morning, everyone began piling into the vans to head back home bright and early. Light chatter filled the cabin, everyone still feeling the effects of the long few days. Exhausted, you begin looking around to do another head count. It was starting to feel like you were a preschool teacher counting your students every 5 minutes. 

Most of the crew was accounted for…but of course, only ¾ of the actual band members. “Where is Jake?” You asked, walking over to them standing by the door of the van. 

“He’ll be here, you know how he is.” Josh said, not looking up from his phone. You glanced at the time, with a sigh.

“We don’t have time for that, we’re leaving in 15 minutes. I have to get the crew home, they have other places to be.” You spat, aggravated. You stood for another minute or two, and decided to take matters into your own hands. 

“Fine. I will go get him myself.” you said, making your way back inside. Luckily, you hadn’t turned in the keycards to the front desk. 

You make the trek up to his room, suddenly feeling anxious again as you approach the door. ‘Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed’ running through your mind. 

Well, I need him to get out of bed. You pressed the key to the lock, hearing it release. You closed your eyes, and took a breath. You put just your face inside the door, trying not to look around. 

“Jake? Hey… We gotta go, it’s time.” You said softly. 

Silence. 

You peeked inside a little more, seeing his hair splayed out on the bed. Still asleep, of course. 

You decided to walk in a little further, closing the door softly behind you. He had his back to the door, laying on his side. His body was wrapped around two or three pillows and he was in nothing but his black boxers. Your chest tightened at the sight. It felt strange seeing him this way, asleep and completely vulnerable. 

“Jake…” You tried again. Dead asleep. 

You walked around the other side of the bed, still feeling like you were intruding, but also taking in the sight of him. You had always loved watching him sleep, his features even more relaxed than they usually were. His eyelids jumping back and forth while he dreamed, his lips parted slightly as he breathed. You wondered what he was dreaming about, secretly wishing it was you. 

You would admit that you were upset that he didn’t text you back last night, but it was late, and he had to have been completely drained. But still you held out hope.

You came around to face his front, seeing that he still had his phone in his hand. He fell asleep reading my text? Maybe he had seen it? As you grabbed it from his hand you placed it on the nightstand, but it was then that you really took in the state of his room. Clothes everywhere, and tons of empty bottles lying scattered across the bedside table and floor. As realization hit you, your mood shifted leaving you angry and confused. What is wrong with him?

“JACOB!” You yelled, finally feeling bold enough to shake him physically on the arm. “Wake up! We’ve got to go!” 

His eyes finally began to open as he woke up. When he saw that it was you waking him up, the smallest smile formed on his face, melting you into a puddle. 

He finally opened his eyes all the way, and stretched his muscles, straightening his legs down the length of the bed revealing more of him than you ever thought you’d see this morning. 

“Mmm” he groaned, his face stretching into a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you, but we’re running really late. I need you to get downstairs and loaded up.” you say.

His eyes widen, and he searches for his phone. “Shit, I’m sorry. I must’ve slept through my alarm.” He said, rolling off the other side of the bed and walking into the bathroom.

“You probably didn’t even set one, seeing as how you killed the mini bar again last night, hmm?” You said with bitterness in your voice. 

He breathed a sigh of agitation, with himself or with you, you weren’t sure. 

You gave him a second of privacy in the bathroom, and he stumbled back out into the room, holding his head. 

“Hungover?” You asked, already knowing the answer. You could spot hungover Jake a mile away. Definitely. 

“A little I suppose.” He spoke quietly, suddenly looking defeated. 

“Jake, I know everything’s...not really…okay right now. You just went through a bad breakup and...nothing’s ideal but, you seem off, and it’s only the start of the tour. I don’t want to interject, but I...I really don’t like seeing you like this. We all need you to take care of yourself, you know? This thing doesn’t work without you.” You said, speaking in white lies, but needing something to get him to talk a little. After all, you didn’t get to last night. 

He scoffed, picking up various items and throwing them in his suitcase while you stood watching. “Look, I had every intention of talking to you last night. But by the time you texted, I had already drank way too much…I was halfway asleep, and I…I don’t know. It felt...” he trailed off.

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for the rest. 

He conceded, “I don’t really know it just felt like the wrong time. I was…” he stalled. 

“Just one word, Jake. That’s all I need.” You spoke quietly. 

He hesitated hard, until he finally spoke, “Scared, I guess? Nervous?” 

You were lost for words. Why was he scared to talk to me? Had we really fallen that far away from each other? 

Your eyes met his for a second and your heartbeat began to race. “I don’t know. We can…talk about it later? Can you…can you just help me throw some of this shit in my bag so we can get out of here?” He asked, still rushing around in slow motion. 

You snapped away from your thoughts. “Yeah, sure.” 

You began picking up various clothing items from the floor, and as you made your way around the bed, you spotted something that looked out of place. Is that? You picked up a woman’s shirt from the floor, holding it up to inspect it. Your gut sank. This is what Summer was wearing last night. 

“This yours?” You asked, dangling the shirt from your finger. 

He turned around to see you holding it up, and he immediately let his head fall back as he sighed. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.” You tossed the shirt onto the bed, and felt your head become fuzzy with rage. Was anything he just said true? “I guess I see why you were scared to come and talk to me last night.”

He slowly walks over to you, “No…Y/N, I swear it’s not what it-”

“It’s not what it looks like?” you say cutting him off.  “Seeing your photographer’s shirt on your floor? I think it’s exactly what it looks like, Jake.” You were spitting fire towards him. You decided you needed to get out of that room as quickly as you could. 

“I’m sorry I interrupted your night.” You said with your back turned to him. “We’re leaving here in five minutes, with or without you.” and with that, you slammed the door shut behind you. 

JAKE POV

Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Oh fuck, what did I do? Do I go after her? Do I let her go? What the fuck was I thinking?

You quickly shove everything into your suitcase, cursing yourself with every movement. God damnit I have fucked up. 

Looking around the room to make sure you had everything you really took in the mess. The entire trash can was filled with mini bottles and they were scattered across every open surface. Shit. Maybe she was right. I do need to get my life together. 

You won her heart once, you knew you could do it again, and that's exactly what you were going to do. You had to.

Quickly pulling on whatever clean clothes you could find you zipped your suitcase and were rushing out the door, and downstairs to the van. 

As you made your way to the door, Josh threw it open and jumped out, helping you load your suitcase into the back. 

“The fuck man?” he asks.

“Didn’t set an alarm. My mistake.” you answer.

“Well, all the good seats are taken, so you’re in the back with me now.” he says, closing the back door. 

You slide into the van, eyes searching for Y/N, and finding her next to Sam in the middle row. She doesn’t look at you, or even acknowledge your presence, but you deserve it. You can’t even imagine what she’s thinking. As you settle into your seat you close your eyes trying to process the events of the morning. How it felt waking up to see her face. How normal it felt to have her there. How everything quickly shattered as she realized how messed up you were. How it got even worse when she found Summer’s shirt.

You wished you could go back. You wished you never went to the bar last night. If you had just waited, this morning could have been completely different…

“Hey Jake?” you hear the sound of Summer’s voice echo through the van. You were so lost in your head you didn’t even notice she was up front. Your heart sinks as you wait to hear what she has to say. 

You flick your eyes up to meet hers, raising your eyebrow. 

“Thanks for letting me borrow this last night.” she says, pulling the folded shirt from her bag. You practically stop breathing as you watch her hand it to Y/N. “Can you pass this back there?” she asks her. 

She hesitates as she grabs the shirt, turning back to you in what felt like slow motion.

Your eyes met hers, pleading with her as she spoke, “From Summer.”

Your arms don't even move to grab it as you stare at her. The thoughts in your brain are moving a mile a minute and you can't seem to catch even one. 

Josh grabs the shirt for you, throwing it into your lap. “Thanks.” he says, as Y/N turns back around, leaning her head on the van window. 

Could things get any fucking worse? Why the fuck did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she just give it to me later?

God. Y/N…Her face…she probably thinks we–

Fuck, I have to text her.

You quickly pull your phone from your pocket, bringing up her name, and opening the thread. Shock pulsing through your body as you look at the message you typed out last night, as it waited to be sent.

I never hit send. Oh she fucking hates me… I will never be able to explain this to her now.

You look up into the rearview mirror hoping to catch her eyes, but all you see is her staring blankly out of the window. You can tell she is in her head.

You 8:27am: It looks bad. I know it looks so bad. I can explain everything. All of it. Can we please talk when we get back?

You look back up watching her in the mirror as she glances down at her phone reading the message. You see the little crease in her eyebrows as she reads. The pain setting into her features. She sets her phone down and turns back to the window. 

Fuck.

You: 8:28am: Please don’t shut me out again. 

Your phone buzzes in your lap and you eagerly grab it hoping to see her name, but it's not her. It’s Josh.

Josh 8:29am: What the fuck did you do Jake?

You turned to look at him shaking your head as you replied. 

You 8:30am: Made the biggest mistake of my life.

Josh 8:30am: Did you fuck her?

You 8:31am: Fuck no. Of course not. It just looks like it. Y/N wont answer me. I don’t know what to do.

Josh 8:32am: For once I don’t know what to tell you.

You 8:32am: Do you think I blew it?

You watch him type, before quickly deleting it. He locks his phone and places it on his knee, sending you a sympathetic look. You knew what he was going to say. You could practically hear it in your own head. 

You reopen your thread with her, looking at your messages, marked as read. At least she is reading them. Taking a moment you collect your thoughts the best you can, giving it one last shot. 

You 8:40am: I get it. I wouldn’t answer me either. But I want you to know that I fell asleep last night alone, thinking about you. Trying to text you back. I typed it over and over, but I couldn't get it right.  I swear I’ve fallen asleep thinking about you every single night for the past 4 years, Y/N. Please, just give me a chance to explain.

You hit send delivering the message, and watching her in the rearview to see if she would read it. Lifting her head from the window you watch as her eyes look down, reading the message. You see her expression drop yet again, and her hand come up to her face trying to discreetly wipe away the tear slipping from her lash line. But you saw it. Even worse, you caused it.

You’re sure you felt your heart crack wide open at the sight. It was a pain you’d felt before. Similar to the day she left. A pain you swore you’d never let yourself feel again. But here you were, watching her in the rearview, begging for a chance to be hurt again. You’d rather be hurt by her, than not at all.

You could feel your own eyes welling with tears, and just as you were about to look away, her eyes met yours, bloodshot and full of tears. It was as if your world had momentarily stopped turning. You both sat there, eyes locked on each other, with not a word uttered between the two of you. Pure silence. The deafening kind. 

You didn’t have to say anything. You both knew how this ended.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 11

Taglist:

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@eyelinerjake @misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123

[littleraccooncarl]

The Philadelphia Inquirer published an article about Carl the Collector's Pennsylvania influence!

A new character is making his big debut — and children’s television history — this week on PBS Kids.

Carl happens to be the Collector, a bighearted little raccoon on the autism spectrum, who along with one of his animated furry friends, will be the network’s first neurodiverse central characters in a series created for children ages 4 to 8. The creators behind the show hope real children will see themselves in Carl and his friends.

For local viewers, Fuzzytown — the home of Carl and his crew — may look familiar.

That’s because it’s Narberth.

“Narberth is a big part of it,” said Zachariah OHora, creator of Carl the Collector and an award-winning author and illustrator of children’s books.

OHora, who’s lived in the Montgomery County borough for the past 16 years, basically mapped out Narberth for the show’s animators, from its houses to its downtown, the regional rail station, the library, even the iconic old clock. “Anybody who’s been here, if they see the show, they’ll recognize right away that’s where it is.”

OHora is well-known to some parents for his beloved kids’ books, like My Cousin Momo. Originally from New Hampshire, he lives in Narberth with his wife , their two teen sons, and a dog named Waffles.

Some of the seeds for Carl the Collector were sown about a decade ago when OHora’s sons attended Belmont Hills Elementary, a Lower Merion school where children with special needs get additional services and help but attend class with their general education peers as much as possible.

“It was just a lightbulb moment for me,” said OHora. “My kids were just friends with everybody right out of the gate. It took away any kind of stigma or mystery and normalized that people are different, operate differently, and think differently.”

It was very different from the schools he grew up with.

“I was like, ‘This is the way it should be.’”

Around that time, Carl the character had begun stirring in OHora’s imagination. And then a contact he had made at PBS approached the children’s author to see if he might have any interesting program ideas.

The series, premiering Thursday, breaks new ground for the children’s network. While other shows have had neurodivergent characters, PBS Kids officials say this is the first time they are the stars.

“Representation is critical to our mission, and we’re proud to debut the PBS Kids series to feature central characters on the autism spectrum,” said Sara DeWitt, senior vice president and general manager of PBS Kids. “We always say we want our content to be both a mirror and a window: showcasing characters who reflect their lived experiences and introducing audiences to kids who are different from them.

“Carl the Collector builds on this commitment by portraying a close group of neurodivergent and neurotypical friends, modeling how all of us can be helpful, supportive, and appreciative of each other’s ways of thinking, and importantly, how we can all sow seeds of empathy and understanding for one another.”

The show puts that into practice both on and off the screen. In addition to Carl the raccoon and Lotta the fox, both on the autism spectrum like an estimated one in 36 children, according to the CDC, the series has a character with ADHD and others with their own unique challenges.

Meanwhile, the show’s production team includes neurodiverse writers, animators, advisers, and others. The voices for Carl and Lotta are provided by two children on the autism spectrum. Some of the staff have contributed their own experiences in the making of the show.

For Lisa Whittick, the series director and mother of a son on the spectrum, working on Carl the Collector has brought her professional and personal lives together in a meaningful way. She said it would have been helpful if a show like this was around when her son was younger.

“If a show like this had been out back then when he was growing up, I think he would have been diagnosed a lot earlier because we would have seen some of the traits that we are reflecting in Carl and Lotta,” Whittick said. “It also would have alleviated a lot of the stress and unknown around what the diagnosis meant and not be scared of it.”

She thinks the show will help children both on the spectrum and those who are not.

“I think this series is going to go a long way in teaching kids who are neurotypical empathy and learning what autism looks like,” she said. “I absolutely think my son would have benefited greatly from a show like this, and he would have loved it because it’s actually very funny and fun as well.”

And, of course, there is the Philadelphia-area angle in all of this. And what’s Philly without a cool, weird mascot?

“There’s a pizza place that the kids always eat in, and it’s called Pyramid Pizza,” OHora said. “An arm comes out and it’s a pizza yeti, who is one of my favorite characters in there that fans of Gritty and the Phanatic will love.”

Philadelphia gets its props, too.

Carl lives with his mom in Fuzzytown, but he also spends part of his time with his dad, who lives in an apartment in a nearby city that will seem a whole lot like Philly, with perhaps a whiff of Brooklyn, another city where OHora has lived.

Carl’s mom and dad, who aren’t married, are great co-parents, OHora said. Having two rooms in different homes can be a challenge for a youngster on the spectrum like Carl, he added, as it can also require adjustment for neurotypical kids. It’s just another way children may see themselves or kids they know in the series.

That’s one of OHora’s hopes for the show.

“I hope people love it and they love Carl,” he said. “I hope it spreads empathy for neurodiversity, and I hope that neurodiverse kids and caretakers see themselves in it, and that neurotypical people can understand a little bit more.”

(Looks like I was wrong, Carl's parents ARE divorced, not just separated)

[itsnotzka]

Fancy reading my original story? ;)

Without revealing too much, it's a very character-driven, slow-burn(ish), bitter-sweet romance story centered around self-discovery, with music and movies playing a significant role in the background :)

If you want to give it a go, you can read The Higher We Soar here (I'm currently sharing it on Wattpad, as I, unfortunately, haven't found a better alternative...). The first three chapters are already published (and it always will be free :))

You can also read the prologue below ⬇︎

You should never expect too much from Tuesdays. They're like the middle children of the week—less demanding than Mondays, less depressing than Wednesdays, but definitely not as fun as Fridays. Tuesdays quietly go about their business, neither imposing nor exhilarating.

As usual, I didn't have high hopes for that particular Tuesday either. It was one of those days that seemed to slip from memory almost as soon as it happened, no matter how much I wracked my brain to recall it.

The weather? If someone had told me there was the worst snowstorm of the century on that day, I would have readily accepted their claim without a single question. If I had read somewhere that it was the hottest day of the year, I would have simply nodded in agreement. I couldn't even tell you whether I decided to take a bus, a tram, or maybe I just, quite merrily, took a walk to the studio.

All those details somehow simply left my mind, overshadowed by one seemingly insignificant, and quite short encounter. Nothing remained the same after that fateful, yet somehow very ordinary, casual Tuesday morning.

Like a clueless fool, I failed to sense the impending, monumental shift in my life—a weird, terrifying, passionate avalanche that, in retrospect, seemed glaringly obvious and impossible to miss from the beginning, no matter how hard you might try... Yet, I did.

Before I delve further, you should know that I've never really liked interns.

It's not a sentiment I'm particularly proud of, as I despise prejudice in any form. My dislike isn't rooted in any of my antisocial tendencies; in fact, I generally find it quite easy to connect with people, especially in the music industry. 

But I never really liked interns.

Their enthusiasm often comes across as superficial, and I can't stand it when they ask what to do, only to neglect the tasks I give them. I don't don't like when they think they have it all, believing they are more knowledgeable than anyone else around the studio, despite never having composed a single piece of music in their lives. I don't like how, before I can even properly learn their names or discover their strengths, they vanish without a trace, leaving behind a mess of equipment they weren't supposed to touch in the first place.

I also don't like when interns assume I'm just one of them.

It's a frustrating realization, mainly because, begrudgingly, they have the right to do that. After all, most of them are just a tad younger than me. Who could blame them?

That seemed to be the case with most interns. Except for one notable exception.

It didn't take long for me to notice that one individual stood out from the rest of the pack. Slightly older than the typical interns we usually had, he possessed a remarkable ability to effortlessly connect with people of all ages and ranks—spanning from the youngest staff members to seasoned audio engineers and even the senior employees of our cleaning crew. He had this certain level of cheerfulness and genuine interest that set him apart, a stark contrast to the usual ennui seen among interns I knew.

Right. First things first, though.

The scene: Early spring. A typical Tuesday morning just a little past ten o'clock.

I found myself in the live room, brimming with anticipation to finally record the first version of my demo, or at least my initial idea for one. But as luck would have it, nothing seemed to align with my plans. True to form, the interns had left a chaotic mess in their wake, leaving me with the arduous task of tidying up before I could even begin to think about diving into my creative process.

I let out a sigh of frustration, futilely rummaging through the clutter in search of a balanced cable before all my inspiration gone to waste. And that's precisely when the blonde intern came into the room, flashing his straight, pearly white teeth at me.

"Oh, hey. Hand me that boom stand, eh?" I gestured towards the stand, hoping to deal the cleanup process faster.

Weirdly enough, he sauntered over to me joyfully, yet his hands were conspicuously empty. It took a few moments for the realization to dawn on me, and when I turned my head to him, there he was, meeting my gaze with a cheerful twinkle in his light brown eyes, smiling at me with the sincerity of a five-year-old child.

"Hello? The boom stand, please?" I reiterated, juggling a handful of cables, none of them the balanced one I desperately needed, and gesturing towards the frustratingly out-of-reach metal stand.

"Oh, you're talking about this thing!" he exclaimed, as if my words had just registered. With a sudden burst of energy, he hastily retrieved the boom stand and brought it over to me. "Here you go."

I shot him a skeptical look as he nonchalantly slipped his hands into the pockets of his well-worn cardigan—a piece of clothing that might have been deemed unwearable by most, yet it somehow suited him perfectly. In an oddly charming way, it emitted a subtle bohemian vibe, and I couldn't help but imagine it gracing the runway of some avant-garde fashion show, although my knowledge of fashion was rather limited.

"Do you want to tell me you didn't know what a boom stand is?" I dared to ask, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yeah, sorry..." he prudishly feigned embarrassment, though it was evident that he didn't feel particularly bad about it. "I had no clue what you were talking about."

I eyed him inquisitively, suspecting the worst but needing confirmation. "What about a shock mount? Can you pass me that, then?"

He tilted his head and subtly pursed his lips, as if I had switched to an entirely different, foreign language he couldn't comprehend. Utterly astonished, I pointed to the nearby, star-shaped object, and his eyes widened in realization.

"Oh... that's a shock mount? Well, I had no idea about that, either," he admitted, seemingly unfazed by his lack of knowledge, with no intention of handing me the item. In response, I spread my hands and cast him a puzzled, inquisitive look, to which he simply responded with another chuckle.

"Let me be honest with you, okay?" he shrugged once more, entirely at ease. "I know nothing about making music or any of this equipment..."

"Are you shitting me?" I blurted out, dropping the cables from my hands in sheer disbelief. "In that case, I have no idea why you're even here. How on earth did you manage to land this internship in a scoring studio?"

The smirk never left his lips, his eyes twinkling with joy, as if he wasn't even aware that I considered firing him during his very first week on the job. Well, I couldn't actually fire him. I could ask someone else to do it for me.

"What can I say?" he offered another smile, his eyes mirroring the same cheerfulness. Even his bohemian gray cardigan seemed uncharacteristically cheerful as he spoke. "I aced the job interview. Sophie, that gal who interviewed me, seemed to really like me. She was very sure I'd be a great fit here!"

"That gal?" I repeated with a scoff... and a smile. "You mean Sophie, the producer? One of the most important people around here? If not the most important one?"

He nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "The very same."

"Right. Sophie and her desire to change the whole world for the better..." I remarked, my tone laced with sarcasm that he simply chose to ignore.

There. My proof. 

That was the reason why I never really liked interns. He should have said something to make me believe he was taking it seriously, shouldn't he? He should have been embarrassed, he should have shown me his willingness to learn everything as quickly as possible, he should have tried to help me set everything up faster. But he didn't. Instead, he didn't take his eyes off me for a second, making me uncomfortable. It was as if looking at me like that was the most normal and ordinary thing in the world for him — as if it was our hundredth talk. No shyness. No awkwardness on his part. No guilt whatsoever.

"I don't know if I have time for your incompetence, then. I have things to do here, and they have to be done well," I finally stated, trying hard to maintain eye contact.

After all, I was supposed to be the more competent one, not him. Yet, inexplicably, I suddenly felt as though I were the intern, and he was the one showing me the ropes, not the other way around.

He hummed, faintly amused, as if I had cracked a half-hearted joke. "Come on... you only need to be more specific about what you want me to do. I can handle anything with clear instructions. I'm a very quick learner, you know?"

I found myself smiling as he began to lecture me on how to handle an intern like him. In fact, I burst into unexpected laughter—not at his expense, but because I couldn't believe his extraordinary gullibility.

No, gullibility was definitely not the right word. It was more like... certainty. An unwavering, absolute conviction that everything, always, would unfold just as he anticipated, with ease, enjoyment, and no difficulties whatsoever. There was no room for doubt. Moreover, it felt as if it wasn't because he wanted it to be that way, but because the universe, it seemed, had an uncanny knack for bending space and time just to make him smile.

"Let's see. Do you even know what I do here?" I asked, not with impatience anymore, but with genuine curiosity.

"Hey, I'm not that dense," he scoffed, then added a bit unsure, "You're a composer, right? Or am I mixing something up..."

I laughed and nodded in confirmation. His smile held a touch of embarrassment, a genuine one this time.

"You're not. I am a composer. So tell me one more thing, if you don't know anything about making music, why do you even want to work here?" I asked, finally bringing the shock mount closer and starting to set the microphone next to the piano.

He sighed, falling into deep thought for a brief moment before finally responding, "I think you're asking the wrong questions here. Why wouldn't I want to give it a try? It's fascinating. Besides, I'm a huge movie buff and you're making scores. I feel like I can rest my case here."

"Oh, yeah? Your love for movies? You think that's enough?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded, casually picking up the cables I dropped before, "Well, that would be more than enough if we were in an actual movie, wouldn't it?"

"Well, we're not, though," I chuckled, "We're not even in some poorly written novel. Life's quite different from the movies, especially if you know how they're made."

He hummed once more, a quiet laugh escaping his throat as he gave me another intrigued look.

"You think so? I think it all depends on your point of view..." he said with such conviction, as if everything really depended solely on that.

I shook my head in amusement and, unintentionally, found myself agreeing with him.

"Hey, I think I didn't catch your name before..." I said, a little troubled by the fact that despite Sophie repeating the names of all five interns for a week, I couldn't remember any of them.

"Oh, I'm Maddox. At your service!" he replied, his smile widening even further. "People usually call me Maddie, though."

"Really? Do they ever call you Madd?" I quipped. "Maybe that suits you better?"

A spark flickered in his eyes, then chuckled, "I've heard that one before... But sure. I can be Madd for you."

By then, I was laughing opelny, and I forgot about the mess around us.

It surprised me that he didn't ask for my name, and I decided not to give it away. I wasn't sure if he already knew it; he hadn't mentioned it even once that day. It seemed my name just... didn't matter to him back then. He struck me as someone very curious about the world and everything around him, yet for some reason, I didn't really seem to be one of those matters.

Like many things, it didn't bother me much, though.

After that Tuesday morning, marked by a string of mishaps that he effortlessly remedied with a perfect blend of enthusiasm, interest, and clever comments, a tad too clever for just an intern, we didn't teally talk for a few weeks.

Throughout the initial month of his three-month internship, our encounters were fleeting, lacking any real depth or substanc. Yet, I knew, there was an unspoken acknowledgment of each other's presence that hung in the air, like a perfectly fitting soundtrack playing in the background—barely noticeable, yet undeniably there.

I was busy with my projects that weren't going as well as I wanted them to. He, on the other hand, was busy surpassing almost all expectations, learning things at an astonishing pace, and effortlessly charming everyone he encountered. At least that's what I had heard from my co-workers, and from Sophie. He worked mainly under her, after all.

Every now and then though, I'd catch a glimpse of his eyes, squarely directed at me, particularly when I was on my way to the break room in search of my caffeine salvation. Sometimes, amidst the chaos of the studio, I'd hear his laughter, his rather melodic voice rising above the cacophony of others, as I struggled to maintain my focus on the stubborn music sheets in front of me. I quickly noticed he was quite the conversationalist, engaging in lively discussions with anyone willing to participate. Yet, our interactions rarely extended beyond a simple exchange of greetings, such as a casual 'hello' or 'how are you?'

That didn't bother me, either. Well, it didn't bother me at the beginning.

Everything always seems different at the beginning, doesn't it?

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 80- Taking Things A Little Further

Chapter Summary: Jennie returns to Korea as BTS prepares for their Festa. Jennie hangs with Big Bang. Jennie comforts Jungkook and calls out the Flower Crew cast for how they mistreated him during filming. JenKook start a Twitch gaming channel together. 

Words: 7,000+

-------

With the guys back in Seoul, they were shooked and happy to see Jennie take so many photos with several celebs.

“Aw~! Munchkin finally got to meet him.” Hobi pointed out the photos with her and Shawn.

"Did he have to hug her so tightly?" Jungkook grumbled, frowning at the hug while the guys laughed and teased him. 

“Look at how big she’s smiling!” Taehyung giggled.

“She’s cheesing, huh?” Yoongi chuckled.

“That smile is so wide. She must’ve been blushing.” Jimin pointed out.

"You think you're gonna lose your girlfriend?" Namjoon teased while the members played along.

"Shut up!" Jungkook whined, trying to hit the guys while they laughed.

“Wow, she met Ludacris and 50 Cent!” Hobi said in awe, pointing at the photos she had taken backstage with all these celebs.

They watched a video of Jennie teaching Ludacris Korean backstage on Billboard’s Twitter.

“So, how do you say it?” Ludacris asked as he tried to say hello in Korean after Jennie repeated the word slowly for him.

The boys laughed at the video and liked his pronunciation of the word.

It seemed like BTS’ name was traveling fast because Jennie was in a lot of videos with several celebs and Billboard staff as she talked about Korean Pop. Which was a great thing as she put out the idea of having K-Pop groups attend Billboard one day.

----

As soon as she arrived back in Korea, she had to go straight to work. Arriving at Big Hit’s building, she went to her studio, quickly changing into her outfit for dance practice. Turning to her desk, she saw smarties and a cute note connected to it. 

Smiling softly, she examined it to see that it was from Jungkook, who drew a small doodle of a bunny and a hamster.

‘I missed you! I hope you had a great flight. Enjoy these. See you at practice. I love you’ – JK

Walking into the dance studio with her gym bag, posing dramatically at the door, she announced, “I’m back~!”

The guys stopped talking and turned to her with bright smiles on their faces. “Jennie~! Yay~!” the members happily cheered and rushed over to her as she laughed.

“Ennie’s back! Ennie’s back!” Taehyung beamed.

“How was the show? We saw all your pictures. It’s like you met everybody,” Namjoon exclaimed.

“How’s Shawn?” Jungkook asked with jealousy, crossing his arms, and making the guys laugh. “You seemed to have a lot of fun with him. Even baked for him, too. When was the last time you baked for me? I’m always up for your baking.”

“Someone’s jealous,” Hobi teased, nudging Jungkook as he playfully hit him back.

"Yeah, Jungkook was complaining a lot when he saw the photos and videos of you and Shawn Mendes," Jimin laughed, throwing him under the bus.

"They have a cute ship name, too!" Jin brought up in a fit of giggles while Jungkook glared at him.

“Oh, would you relax?" Jen giggled at Jungkook. "Shawn has a girlfriend. He told me they're dating privately which is what we're doing. Shawn and I are friends. I think we're going to be the best musical partners going forward when we start collaborating. Anyway, he's great. Everything is great. I'm so glad I went to the show,"

“Angelina was amazing. I had to watch her perform a couple of times. Just wow. Blown away.” Namjoon added.

“Right?! I am so proud of her! She deserves everything!” she went to hug Jungkook who leaned down to kiss her. “So, Silver Spoon, right? And then rehearsing for our Festa?”

“Right on. We’re being filmed for a Bangtan Bomb for this dance practice too,” Hobi added. 

“All right, let’s do this.”

“Let’s have someone take over Hoseok’s dance part at the end of Crow-tit.” Yoongi suggested. 

Hobi agreed since he always did the dance break. After a game of Rock, paper, scissors, Yoongi was the one to lose and would have to do the dance break. As soon as he realized he lost, he dropped to his knees while everyone laughed.

“Yoongi Hyung’s got it!” Jimin cackled.

“I’m glad it ain’t me!” Jen high fived Jimin, celebrating.

After pulling themselves together, they got in position to dance. Jen stood next to Jungkook as their backs were facing the camera and the music came on. Quickly turning around, they shimmy on the beat. As they walked towards the camera, Jen put up three fingers and counted down just before Rapmon began his verse.

They call me baepsae

yokbwatji i sedae

ppalli chase ’em

hwangsae deoge nae garangin taengtaeng

Her weak pelvic thrusts caught the attention of those around her as they laughed at her while she stuck her tongue out. If they don’t leave her alone. Perhaps she’ll just freestyle and shake her ass instead next time.

So call me baepsae

yokbwatji i sedae

ppalli chase ’em

geumsujeoro taeeonan nae seonsaengnim

Moving out of the shot, she watched as Hobi, Jimin, and Jungkook danced. She stood in the background with V and decided to dance with him as they both started to dab and laugh.

alba gamyeon yeoljeongpei

hakgyo gamyeon seonsaengnim

sangsadeureun haengpae

eolloneseon maennal myeot po sedae

Once Rapmon was about to rap, she came back into the picture with him.

rul bakkwo change change

She stood in between Jimin and Rapmon and as she kicked, she put a little bit more fierceness into it as she thrusted her shoulder forward.

hwangsaedeureun wonhae wonhae maintain

geureogeneun an doeji BANG BANG

As they moved around, she stood behind a kneeling Jimin, while Jungkook was next to her as they put up gun signs. Then, she started bodyrolling in sync with him.

igeon jeongsangi anya

igeon jeongsangi anya

Grabbing Jimin’s cap, she took it off his head and placed it on hers instead as he stood up and gave her a playful glare. She stuck her tongue out in response.

ah noryeoknoryeok taryeong jom geumandwo

ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo

ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok

ah noraguna ssaksuga

yeoksi hwangsae!

noryeoktaryeong jom geumandwo

ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo

ah noryeok noryeok

She froze with the rest of the members until Jungkook low fived Hobi and they all leaned back in sync.

ah noryeok noryeok

ah noraguna ssaksuga

Standing in the middle while the guys were dancing around, Jen began doing the shmoney dance for fun.

yeoksi hwangsaeya

“silmang an sikyeo.” she lipsynced with Jimin

yeoksi hwangsaeya

“ireum gabt hane.”

Jimin took his cap back and placed it on his head as they danced with each other, rocking to the beat. Then he got to the front as she stood behind him while they all moved their leg up coolly.

yeoksi hwangsaeya

“da haemeogeora.”

yeoksi hwangsaeya

Hwangsaeya

Jumping to the front, J-Hope continued the chorus as Jen put her own flavor into the leaning to the side dance move by looking extra and having a surprised expression on her face.

They call me baepsae

yokbwatji i sedae

ppalli chase ’em

hwangsae deoge nae garangin taengtaeng

Instead of the pelvic thrusting, she decided to shake her ass, which she felt much better doing as she turned around for her butt to face the camera. She got a kick in the butt in response by Jin who wasn’t too happy, which made her laugh.

So call me baebsae

yokbwatji i sedae

ppalli chase ’em

geumsujeoro taeeonan nae seonsaengnim

Swiping Jimin’s cap off his head again, he laughed as he walked out of the shot while Jen stayed to dance around Suga with Rapmon. She decided to copy Rapmon’s moves as he laughed at her.

nan baepsaedari neon hwangsaedari

gyaenen malhaji ‘nae darin baekman buljjari’

nae ge jjarbeunde eojji gateun jongmok hani?

They say ‘ttokgateun chowonimyeon gwaenchanjanhni!’

Never Never Never

rul bakkwo change change

hwangsaedeureun wonhae wonhae maintain

geureogeneun an doeji BANG BANG

igeon jeongsangi anya

igeon jeongsangi anya

Walking over to the front, she adjusted Jimin’s cap on her head and started to lipsync, “ah noryeoknoryeok taryeong jom geumandwo. ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo.”

Tapping the side of her shoe, she smoothly leaned back while the rest of the members froze until it was their cue.

“ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok. ah noraguna ssaksuga.”

yeoksi hwangsae!

She pointed to Jungkook, who lifted up his leg and arms, pretending to be a bird, with the guys. Jimin started to move past her to the front as they made eye contact and laughed again. She then placed his cap back on his head.

noryeoktaryeong jom geumandwo

ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo

ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok

ah noraguna ssaksuga

yeoksi hwangsaeya

Jungkook started doing one of his meme dances which made Jennie laugh as she continued the choreography.

nae tasirani neo nongdamiji

gongpyeonghadani oh are you crazy

ige jeonguirani you mu be kiddin’ me!

You mu be kiddin’ me

you you mu be kiddin’ me!

After he finished lipsyncing, Taehyung jumped on his back and slapped his butt as he walked back to his position.

ah noryeoknoryeok taryeong jom geumandwo

ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo

ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok

Being extra, she decided to lean back farther than usual, which would be a big rewind moment for reactors on YouTube.

ah noraguna ssaksuga

yeoksi hwangsae!

noryeoktaryeong jom geumandwo

ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo

ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok

ah noraguna ssaksuga

urin baepsaeya

“silmang an sikyeo.” Jen and Jimin lipsync again. Jimin decided to copy her shmoney dance as she laughed and did it with him.

urin baepsaeya

“ireumgabthane.”

Afterwards, it was Yoongi’s time to shine as he started twerking with everyone hyping him up.

“WORK!” Jen cheered, laughing with Jimin while Rapmon covered his mouth.

So call me baepsae

yokbwatji i sedae

ppalli chase ’em

geumsujeoro taeeonan nae seonsaengnim

After the ending pose, Taehyung kicked Hobi’s butt and the recording ended as everyone caught their breath.

Now it was on to practicing for the Festa. The practice room was filled with Hobi’s “Ba bams” and music as he helped Jin with his solo dance while Jimin helped Rapmon with his. V walked around rapping for Cypher Part 3, and Jennie walked around to go over the lyrics for Sunmi’s Full Moon since she’ll be singing and dancing. Including rapping Lena’s part.

Yoongi was with her as he listened closely to her rapping.

“Perfect weather, can get no better,” she rapped smoothly as he nodded. “Everything around us so so real yo. Tonight, it’s the night, boreumdareul jomyeong sama, sarangeul soksagigi ttak joheun bam.”

“geudae soneul japgo Walking on the moon, gutge dachin mun ppajimeobsi yeoreo, oraetdongan gidaryeo watdeon kkum.” she messed up on transitioning back to Sunmi’s verse and stopped singing altogether.

“You sound good, smartie,” Yoongi praised. “Let’s just work on how to control your breathing,”

She needed to make sure her transition from the rap to the chorus wasn’t sloppy as she worked hard on her breath control and timing. Maybe breathing through her nose will help. 

After working on the lyrics, she focused on practicing with Jimin and Jungkook for the Coming of Age Ceremony cover. She swiped Jimin's hat off his head again to wear as they rehearsed. At one point she slut dropped all extra, making the boys laugh at her randomness. 

As the song continued to play, she listened closely to the lyrics. ‘I’m not a little innocent girl anymore, you don’t need to hesitate any longer,’

“Wow, a relatable song to me,” she commented, making Jin stop working on his Festa project.

“What do you mean relatable!?” he called out.

“I was joking,” she quickly replied.

“You better be,” he pointed to her, narrowing his eyes, and making her giggle.

“SKRT!” V shouted on the mic as Cypher pt 3 came on. “SKRT SKRT! SKRT!”

‘This man is a character,’ she thought with a chuckle.

“Hi, Kim Taehyung, I’m so happy I get to rap like this,” he rapped.

On camera, Jennie was standing in the background, smirking at her phone in amusement while nodding her head to his flow. She was going over the lyrics for her performance. 

Jimin’s hat was taken off her head and she looked up to see Jungkook placing his hat on hers instead. It looked like he was a little jealous to see her wearing Jimin’s hat. He planned on leaning down for a kiss but then remembered the camera was on them since Taehyung was rapping in front of them for a Bangtan Bomb. Although it could just be edited, he decided not to take the risk. Instead, he stood with her as they watched him rap.

“Hyung, you really shouldn’t rap,” Jungkook immediately chuckled after he finished the song

“Jungkook.” Jen scolded and turned to V, “Don’t listen to him. I’m your biggest supporter on this no matter what. You killed it. Just keep practicing. Army is going to be excited over it,”

A boxy smile came across V’s face as he looked at her with appreciation.

Later, Jen stared at Yoongi and Hobi wide-eyed and started laughing as they sang dramatically, practicing their cover of Homme’s I Ate Well.

“It’s a big mistake to ask them to do this. I’m extremely good at harmonizing. We should’ve done it together. It’s such a pity.” Rapmon complained.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH~!” Hobi screamed out while singing, causing Jennie to look up from her lyrics, furrowing her eyebrows. The camera caught her reaction and it was sure to become the next K-pop meme as Jungkook and Jin laughed at them.

“Oh yeaaaaaaaaah oooooooohhhhhhhhhh~!” Yoongi sang out

While the guys were doing their own thing, Jennie finally started to practice Sunmi’s Full Moon dance. There was a couch against the wall that she used as she put on the song to practice. Concentration was on her face as she drowned out all distractions to make sure she got this choreography and sensuality right. But Yoongi and Hobi decided to mess with her by sitting next to her on the couch to try to copy her moves. She suppressed a laugh as she continued to dance.

geudaeyeo boreumdari tteuneun nal, nal boreowayo

i bami gagi jeone hae tteugi jeone seodulleojwoyo

As she danced to the chorus, angling her arms up in the air like a moon, Jungkook, Yoongi, and Hobi copied her and pretended to be her backup dancers.

She slowly kneeled and rubbed her hands together.

Eh eh eh eh eh

Eh eh eh eh eh

Eh eh eh eh eh

---------

After practice, Jennie went to meet up with Big Bang as G-Dragon invited her to go eat with them. The excitement in her was building as she made her way to a private section of the restaurant where he was waiting for her.

“Jennie,” his eyes lit up as she went to hug him.

“I missed you! What’s been going on?”

“Touring has been fun. Just enjoying every day. So, does BTS know you’re going to be hanging out with Big Bang?”

She smiled sheepishly, “Not...yet.”

They both laughed.

“I’ll let you be my little secret for a little while longer,” she added. “It’ll be nice if we can all hang out one day. I’m sure the guys would flip.”

As they walked over to the table, Jennie was met by excited smiles from the members.

“Here she is. Miss Jennifer.” G-Dragon announced

“Hey!” she waved excitedly.

“Jennie! Welcome!” Seungri happily greeted which caught her by surprise.

“So, you’re the precious Jennie hyung is always blabbing on about. Nice to finally meet you!” Taeyang smiled.

Jen’s face immediately heated up by the way he was smiling so charmingly. It was surprising to her that they knew her name. Like Big Bang knows who she is!? That’s amazing.

When her eyes met TOP's, she almost fainted.

He smiled softly. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jennie,"

"Oh my gosh, hi~!" she giggled, making the guys laugh at her enthusiasm towards him. 

Taking a seat next to G-Dragon and Seungri, she was welcomed with open arms. She watched the group bicker and crack jokes which made her laugh. It made her think of her bond with BTS and she hoped it would remain as strong as theirs.

“I baked some cookies for you guys! I hope you like them. Thanks for having me here.” she took out her bag and placed it on the table to reveal a big container of various chewy cookies. They immediately thanked her as they looked at the cookies happily.

“I like her even more,” Daesung called out with a laugh, making her smile.

“Oh wow, thank you!” Seungri happily took the container of cookies.

“It’s for all of us,” TOP called out, grabbing a hold of it, and pulling it to him.

“Yeah, bring it to the middle of the table so we can all share,” Taeyang added, bringing it to the table which made Seungri pout. “Jennie, BTS’ fire comeback is very impressive.”

“Thank you, that means so much coming from you. The guys will be stoked to hear about you liking the comeback,” she said. “I have to give thanks to G-Dragon for helping me.”

“Seeing your hard work pay off is great to see. You’re doing well,” G-Dragon praised.

“Speaking of fire, TOP caught me making a dance video about it,” Seungri laughed.

“Oh really?! You have the video?” she eagerly asked while G-Dragon and Daesung snickered at the memory, shaking their heads.

“Way ahead of you,” TOP took out his phone to show the video of him secretly filming Seungri in a dance room, making everyone at the table laugh.

“We should make a dance cover video of fire,” Jen suggested.

Seungri seemed to enjoy the idea and wanted to make plans to film a cover with her for fire soon. 

“How is the idol life for you? Any questions?” Daesung asked.

“Yes. I hate to kill the mood but I feel like you guys are the best to ask about this. Um, how do you guys deal with sasaengs? Because I think I was followed by a few when I went to the billboard awards.” she frowned.

“What happened at Billboard?”

“I just always feel eyes on me. It’s crazy about the idea of being followed. And I hope it doesn’t get worse with family being involved.”

“That’s the worst when they start following our families.” TOP sighed and rubbed his temples. “One thing I recommend is speaking up about it. Call them out. Be stern about it. Enough is enough. Stand up for yourself. And keep Big Hit informed,”

“I will. I've been taking self defense classes, too. So, I do feel good about defending myself if anything comes to that.

“You hear that, hyung? Don’t make her upset or she’ll beat you up,” Seungri teased.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jen reassured TOP, as the members laughed.

“You know with me, I had to move at one point because some crazy girls were hiding around my apartment at night. It was shocking. So, I moved to a more private apartment.” G-Dragon mentioned.

“There are times I can’t even get in,” Taeyang added.

“Just let me know when you visit,”

“I do!” Taeyang turned to Jennie and joked, “I feel like he just doesn’t want to see me,”

“You guys are about to celebrate ten years as a group,” Jen brought up in amazement. “Right now Bangtan and I are focusing on our annual Festa. We’re celebrating three years. Time is flying so fast. I hope that we can last a long time like you. Ten years is astonishing. So much hard work and dedication. It’s inspiring,”

“You will,” G-Dragon predicted. “I can see that BTS has a bond like no other. No matter the hardships, teamwork is how to do it. You made it this far. You’re going to soar.”

“Namjoon always told me teamwork makes the dream work as our fans work with us to be the best that we can be,”

After their lunch, the members posted photos from their outing. Seungri posted a selfie of him gobbling up Jen’s cookies while she pretended to look at him like he was crazy and captioned it, ‘Nice to meet u, Jennie! I’m keeping the cookies hyungs!’

Daesung posted a cute photo of them hugging, 'Nice to meet you, Jennie! Thanks for the cookies! You are going to do well in the industry,'

G-Dragon posted a group photo that they took during the lunch with the caption, ‘Big Bang X JW.’

Taeyang had posted a cute selfie with Jen with the caption, ‘Dope Meeting, congratz’

TOP posted a photo of him and Jennie looking cool for the camera. With the caption, ‘W Jennie’

--------

'God...give me the strength. Because I’m trying my hardest to mature and keep in this frustration. But people keep trying me. #Jen’ Jen tweeted as ARMY commented on asking her if it had something to do with Flower Crew.

Earlier today, she had checked out the first episode of Jungkook staring on Flower Crew while taking a break from shopping. He had been talking about it for weeks and was extremely excited to be able to be on a variety show by himself. She thought it would be an amazing experience for him.

But when she watched the show, things started to go downhill as her blood began to boil. Jungkook bought burgers for the cast and then Jo Se Ho decided to act like an asshole and claim they were leftovers, making Jungkook upset and embarrassed.

An irate Jennie had to go on Twitter to tweet and then begin to type out her rant on her notes to post as photos for Twitter. She knew some would most likely criticize her for speaking about someone older than her in Korea like this but this needed to be said. You shouldn’t treat someone any type of way regardless of age. Her heart ached to watch Jungkook look so bummed and uncomfortable during the show. He did not deserve that.

When she brought it up to the members via text, they immediately went to Jungkook to get him to explain what happened as they all went into full protection mode.

“Why didn’t you tell us about this?” Namjoon asked.

Jungkook cringed at the memory and looked down. “It was embarrassing...”

The guys had sat him down to give him a pep talk and to make him feel better, they went out to treat him to lamb skewers.

Jungkook scrolled through Twitter and noticed a series of new tweets from their account, including Jen’s photos of her rant through her notes. He started to read:

‘With all due respect, what made you think your actions towards my best friend were OK? He’s on his first variety show alone, so excited, and took time out of his day and money to treat you and the rest of the cast to burgers. And you say they’re leftovers? You’ve got to be joking me! That’s not cool, Jo Se Ho. Jungkook is one of the kindest, sweetest souls in this world and for you to treat him like that is revolting. Apologize. Immediately. You lucky I wasn’t on the show because I probably would’ve been criticized and asked to leave after what I would’ve said to you on TV. This is unacceptable behavior. The heck is wrong with you acting like this on TV to someone? Grow up. Encourage us young people, not berate and embarrass us. ARMY, stay away from the cast's social media. This is the first and last time I’m giving this joke of a man the time of day. Don’t attack him online or the rest of the cast. It’s going to give a bad rep. You’re better than this. You do not need to attack anyone on social media, so please chill out, and let’s focus on more positive matters. Let us continue to give Jungkook love and support. Kookie, my Marvel bestie, your banana milk is waiting for you.’

Fans tweeted:

'OMGGG’

'Miss Bangtan said to not attack him online! Respect her request. We are better than this’

'Jennie snapped!’

'Can they date?’

'JenKook RISE! She said what she said!’

'And she’s giving him banana milk. Awwww. Thank you for speaking up Jennie’

'DRAG HIM!’

'Miss Bangtan has spoken! Thank you for being a great friend to Jungkook’

'THIS is friendship. She’s giving him banana milk!’

'I really want them to date. Because that last part was cute af.’

When Jen arrived back at the dorm, she had placed five bottles of banana milk down for Jungkook as he smiled appreciatively. He was then met with a tight hug from her and they stayed like that for a while.

“How are you feeling?” she asked with her head against his chest.

“I’m feeling much better now. Thank you,”

She looked up at him as he looked down with a smile. “Don’t mention it. Don’t let people take advantage of your kindness like that. And don’t let this ruin your variety show experience. He was a big jerk.“

“I won’t. I prefer Running Man. Especially when it’s with you,”

"We’ll be on another episode of Running Man, soon enough, okay?”

“Okay.”

The next morning, Jennie felt like she was about to die as she stayed in bed, clenching her stomach due to the most deadly cramps of the century. Every time she got her period, it was the worst for the first two days and she became a different person. If you say something wrong or look at her the wrong way results may vary when it was that time of the month.

Jungkook had been educating himself on periods and to get somewhat of an understanding of what women go through when it is that time of the month. Lately, he had started to track her period to prepare himself and buy things for her in advance such as a heating pad for her stomach. He even spoke to Jin about it.

The first sign that it was that time of the month was when she was bedridden and irritable. She doesn’t want anyone to bother her, always snaps at people, and tends to pass the time by playing games on her phone and napping. Jungkook didn’t take her irritation to heart, no matter how many times she snapped at him. Although she can be a little scary, he knows she doesn’t mean it. If anything, all he wants to do is cuddle her.

“I don’t care, go away!” she placed a pillow over her head.

Next was her weird food cravings. He would always ask what she wanted to eat. For some reason, she enjoyed eating potatoes and bananas the most while on her period. So, he always made sure to stock up.

One time he had given her smarties since he knew that was her favorite snack. But when she rejected them, that made him Jungshooked.

“Ew, I hate smarties. They’re disgusting. Throw them all way!” she complained.

“Wh-what? But you love smarties!” Jungkook tried to reason.

“Who lied? They’re gross. Throw all of it away. I don’t even want to look at them,”

“O-okay,”

Biggest mistake ever.

Because once she was off her period, she almost tore the entire dorm apart, trying to find her favorite candy.

“B-but you said to throw them away-“

“YOU THREW THEM AWAY!?” Jennie screamed, making him flinch. Jimin, J-Hope and V yelped and took cover, getting as far away from her as possible while Rapmon sat on the couch with his headphones on, oblivious. “WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO ME!? THAT WASN’T ME TALKING!"

He assumed everything she said was literal when she was on her cycle and decided to do whatever she said. But now he knew that if she said to throw away smarties, don’t do it. It was just her crazy hormones talking.

Today, during the first day of her period, Jen was lying in her bed, with a heating pad on her stomach given by Jungkook which had started to help.

“I hate everything...I hate my life. This is the worst. Why? What did we do to deserve this pain?” she complained, hissing at the sharp abdominal pain in her stomach.

She then felt herself get pulled back into a warm chest, getting closely held.

“Go awaaaaaaay~!” she whined, trying to get out of Jungkook’s arms.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Go play video games with the guys or something.”

“I want to be with you,”

“Well, I don’t right now. I look like shit. I feel like shit. I am shit. Leave.”

“No.” he simply answered.

She sighed and decided to just deal with it, making him smile victoriously. As much as she hated to admit it with her stubborn attitude during her period, lying with him helped tremendously. She hoped he would stay after she woke from her nap.

--------

A few days later, playing video games in her room, Jungkook tried to focus on Overwatch while playing through his aching back. He had strained it when he danced too hard during the fire promotions. He had tried his best to hide it from Jennie. But this time, he got caught as Jen had been observing him for days.

“So, how long are you going to hide that from me?” she called him out.

“Hide what?” he asked innocently.

“Your back. You look like you’re uncomfortable. What happened?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry,”

“Kookie, you’re never going to perform your best with that much tension. Stop playing the game for 30 minutes, come here, and lie down on my bed.”

“I-it’s okay. Really,”

“Really? You always ask me for massages. And lately, you haven’t been asking. Why? What’s the problem?”

He started to feel a little fidgety.

‘Because I don’t know if I can control myself with the way you touch me,’ he thought.

Lately, it seemed like his body was reacting much more to her. It was getting to the point where almost every time they made out, his lower region began to have a mind of its own. Sure they did some things during Prom Weekend but he had been trying his best to avoid being extra touchy these days until he could work on his hormones that were running all over the place. And with them not being alone like they were during Prom Weekend, it was getting harder.

Having enough, Jen rolled her eyes and took the controller out of his hands.

“Goodness gracious.” she huffed, exiting out the game

“H-hey! I was in the middle of the game,”

“I don’t care. Lie down. Now. I’m done watching you in pain like this.” she set the controller down and made him lay on his stomach on her bed after taking his shirt off.

“I told you, I’m okay.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she sat on his behind, rubbing massage oil on her hands, and began working on his back. 

While massaging him, she proceeded to nag him, which he always thought was cute. He had to admit her hands were doing magic as he immediately felt relief from her touch. But his mind started to drift elsewhere as it started to make him feel fidgety again. Once he felt her nails lightly rake his back, his struggle to keep himself together worsened.

His mind went to a suggestive place, as he thought about her underneath him. He didn’t mean for these dirty thoughts to happen but he couldn’t control it. He knew her massaging him was a bad idea.

Did she know how much of an effect she had on him?

How much he was starting to want her?

However, Jennie was starting to feel the same way. His back was so broad as she thought about him pinning her down against the bed. How nice his lips would be against her neck and even lower.

'No, stop.’ she thought, shaking her head as she tried to block the suggestive thoughts out of her mind.

They weren’t alone in the dorm so maybe making out wasn’t the best idea as she thought of the possibility of being walked in on.

After massaging him, she went into her bathroom to wash off the massage oil from her hands.

“See how easy that was? And you feel much better, right? Next time just tell me to massage you. No more waiting that long to be massaged,” she stated. "I hate when you don't tell me that you're in pain. You worry me,"

As soon as she walked out of her bathroom, she was met with his arms pulling her to him for a kiss out of nowhere. It made her stumble back into the bathroom as she kissed back, pulling him closer.

This kiss felt...different.

More frenzied and passionate.

It made her body feel flush as she was backed up to her sink with his hands on it to trap her. 

‘You’re not alone!’ reality hit her which made her reluctantly break the kiss.

“The guys are here,” she reminded him.

“Just for a little bit,” he whispered, ignoring her warning, and leaned back for another smooch.

“Jungkook,” she warned again.

But he kept getting handsy which started to almost make her forget about the guys being here. But clinging onto the last resistance she had, she gently pushed him back.

“I want to. But one of them may walk in. Let’s make out later. Like when everyone is sleeping or something,” she suggested, walking out of the bathroom.

Remaining persistent, Jungkook walked out of her bathroom and shut her door, locking it.

“There, no abrupt interruptions on our alone time,” he shrugged like it was no big deal.

She stared at him in disbelief. He was getting bolder these days. The intense stare coming from him was making her go a little crazy.

“And what if they hear me? I don’t feel like dealing with them teasing us about it for a couple of weeks,”

“I won’t let that happen,”

“Easier said than done with your unpredictability. We shouldn’t.”

He reached out for her but she turned around to avoid another kiss. One more kiss and it was over for her. She needed to stand her ground. There’ll be plenty of more times to make out. 

But her avoidance was short lived when she felt a pair of warm lips on her shoulder blade. Trapped in his arms, she began to feel her legs weaken as she shivered in pleasure when he began to slowly travel up to her neck.

This was so dangerous.

Her eyes closed and she leaned back into him as her breathing quickened.

‘We should stop but this feels so good,’ she thought as she felt a gentle bite on her neck.

“Just five minutes. And then I’ll stop,” he whispered, gently biting her ear.

'Who taught him this?’ she thought, enjoying what he was doing.

Five minutes he said. Maybe five minutes won’t hurt.

Turning around, she wrapped her arms around his neck for a heated kiss, as her desire for him took over. She felt herself being lifted up and moved to her bed as he sat on the edge of it, allowing her to straddle him. Cupping his face, their slow, passionate kisses left her breathless as their need for each other grew. Gripping her hips, he felt her move against his hardness, making him moan out her name.

"Keep your voice down," she whispered.

"I'm trying...you’ve been driving me crazy these past few weeks, you know that?” 

When he said that, she felt this need for him that she couldn’t quite explain. She wanted to go further.

Securely holding her, Jungkook turned them over to place her on the bed as he hovered over her and kissed her again. He then slowly moved down to her neck making her breathing quicken. 

This felt so good. Everything. The way he was touching her. She wanted more.

“You want me to stop?” he whispered in her ear, making her shiver.

Five minutes passed already? She didn’t want this to end. Can’t he keep going and ignore that the time passed?

“I can keep going,” he said like he read her mind. The way she was looking at him gave it away. “But you’re going to have to say it, baby girl,”

'Oh my God, who taught him this? Who is teaching him to say these things? Because this was new and I love it,' she thought.

“Keeping going,” she responded breathlessly as he went back down to her neck.

Suddenly, she let out an unexpected moan when he found a sensitive spot on her neck. She quickly covered her mouth, making him chuckle.

“They definitely heard that,” she exclaimed. “We gonna get caught,”

“No, we won’t, relax. It wasn’t even that loud,”

“To you.”

“It was for my ears only and I’d like to hear it again. Can I try something?”

“Okay,”

“Trust me.” he leaned down to kiss her again, making her forget about her worries. 

He began grinding his hips into hers, making her whimper. She lightly scratched his back in response as she let out another sound. 

Okay, screw it. If they get caught, they get caught. This was feeling all too good right now, it was worth getting caught. She didn’t want to stop as she felt comfortable with him. She can only imagine how it will be when they’re ready to go all the way.

“Jeon Jungkook! I know you're in there!” Jin called out, knocking on the door, and tried to open it but it was locked. "Stop hiding in Jennie's room! I know you pranked me!"

Jungkook sighed out of annoyance, turning his head to the door. He looked down at Jennie to see her chuckling.

“It was nice when it lasted,” she said while he got off her and put his shirt back on. "What did you do to Jin?"

"I put eggs in his laundry. I guess he figured out it was me. I'm gonna hide from him. Don't tell him I'm here," he went under the bed.

That caused Jennie to laugh. She went to open the door to see Jin marching in, looking around.

"Where is this brat?"

"Jungkook isn't here,"

"Are you lying to me?" he crossed his arms.

"No, I haven't seen him all day. Have you checked the laundry room? I did hear him say he was going to wash clothes,"

-------

During the week of the Festa, JenKook had set up everything for the start of their Twitch Stream for Army. They had the equipment set up, everything was recording fine and they sat next to each other in front of the camera. They were located in Jennie’s Smartie factory for the stream.

Jennie tweeted the link, ‘Guess who is streaming!? JenKook’s first episode is here! Click on the link and watch! Let’s have some fun!’

“It’s on~!” she said excitedly

“How many people should we wait for until we start the stream?” he asked, spinning around in his chair.

“W-wow. We already have over 20k.” she looked on in amazement as she peered closely at the viewer count on the screen.

“It’s still growing. Now 70k. Might as well start now.”

Looking at the camera, Jennie smiled, “Yo yo yo! It’s your one and only Miss Bangtan!” she turned to Jungkook, waiting for him to speak but he missed his cue and they ended up laughing. “We’ll work on our intro.”

“Yeah.” he turned to the camera and waved, “Hello! Jungkook here!”

“And we are The Golden Duo! Welcome to our first Twitch stream. You excited?!” she asked the fans who rapidly replied in the comments positively.

“I am. I can’t wait to win,” the Golden Maknae said confidently

“If you win,” she shrugged.

“I will. I win everything,”

“Well, perhaps today is the big day when you lose, my good friend.” she ignored his glare which made viewers laugh and respond with ‘hahas’ and ‘LOLs’. “Today we’re playing...”

“The Impossible Game!” Jungkook announced in English as the game was happily on the screen, waiting to be played.

“How ready are you to get this going?”

“I got this. Let’s play,”

They played a quick game of rock, papers, scissors to determine who would play first. Jungkook managed to win and they launched the game. The music began as the orange square moved at a steady pace. Jungkook effortlessly pressed the spacebar as it jumped over the first triangle. But automatically died when he failed to jump over the second. He paused the game while Jen let out a laugh.

“I got this. I win everything,” she mocked in a deep voice.

“I’m just warming up,” he said, brushing it off.

“Oh, okay. Try it again.” she turned to the camera, “He’s warming guys.”

He tried it again and this time got further as she watched closely. Once the music intensified, the orange square kept moving up the blocks. Jennie danced to the beat, making him laugh and distracting him as he hit a triangle.

“Stop distracting me,”

“What? I didn’t do anything,”

“Stop being cute,” he murmured and tried again.

“Hop...hop...hop...hop again. And again. Hop. Hop. Hop-hop-hop-hop-hop,” she said, following the square’s movements while he concentrated.

He got even farther as he tried again but still couldn’t make it past the part when the beat got higher pitched.

“Okay, my turn!”

“I bet you can’t beat that,” he said confidently.

“I really hope I win so I can see how salty you’re going to look,” she started the game. She made it just before the beat dropped as she felt accomplished. 

Hearing him laugh at her error, she responded, “Okay but I still made it farther than you on my first attempt,”

As she continued, for some reason, she couldn’t get much farther as she kept hitting the spikes. Meanwhile, fans were amused to see Jungkook grinning at her failure.

“CAN YOU JUMP!?” she shouted at the screen after dying again, making him laugh loudly. “Look I’m just-“

PHEW!

“I’m just not concentr-“

PHEW!

“Can I finish my sentence without dying, damn!”

PHEW!

She sighed loudly and paused the game to rub her temples.

Jungkook glanced at her and the screen as a moment of silence occurred.

“You okay?” he teased.

“Shut up. Leave me alone,”

“Let the professionals take over,” he unpaused the game and began to play while she rolled her eyes and watched him. “It’s okay to lose to me. It’s fine. It’s normal.”

“I’m seconds away from hitting you,”

He giggled as he progressed, jumping up the blocks. But then he suddenly died.

“No!” he shouted.

“Let the professionals take over,” she mocked. “It’s okay to lose to me.”

“The keyboard is just glitching,”

“Oh! Blame it on the keyboard. What’s next?”

“Me beating the game before you,” he replied as he got back to the section he stopped at but died again...and again...and again.

The intensity of the game increased as Jungkook began to look more serious while playing, determined to beat the game. Poking the inside of his cheek, his frustration was more visible since he wasn’t progressing further.

He threw his head back and let out a frustrated sigh. “This game is rigged!”

“Is it now?”

“Yeah! I barely touched the triangle and it made me die! It could have let me go by it,” he whined as she let out a giggle. “Is something funny?”

“Yeah, you. My turn,”

She went to play, making the orange cube hop over the dark boxes and triangles with ease. As the beat dropped, the cube continued to make it up to the top without any errors. Jungkook’s smile fell as she progressed past where he stopped and stared at the screen in disbelief. She kept going as he turned to her and then back at the screen.

He went to read the comments:

'Omg look at his face! He’s shooked’

'I love how cute she looks when she’s concentrating,’

The cube hit a triangle and it was back to the beginning as she tried again.

“How!?” Jungkook exclaimed.

“That was luck. I was trying not to freak out as I progressed.”

As she tried it again many more times, she and Jungkook started bouncing in sync to the beat. The block fell down for a moment but then she didn’t notice as it hit the spike and it was back to the beginning, making Jungkook cackle and clap his hands.

“NO~!” she screamed, “NO! ARE YOU-ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”

“Welp,“

"I’m done. I don’t want to play this anymore. It took me forever to get back to where I was,”

“Yeah, I think we both had enough,” Jungkook chuckled. “Well, it looks like we can’t beat the impossible game today. But we’ll just have to replay it on another stream in the future for round 2,”

Jen went to the stream chat to read a comment, “What game are we playing next? The next game we’re going to check out is Overwatch!”

“We don’t have a date yet for our next stream but just know when we do, we’ll tweet the link,”

“Yeah, so keep a lookout. It can happen any day, any time. All right, that’s all the time we have!” she paused and glanced at Jungkook. “We need to think of an outro too, don’t we?”

“We should think of something cool. Something catchy.”

“Let’s think of ideas later. So for now, we’ll simply say goodbye.”

----

With Matt Rife who lounged backstage before the show of Wild N' Out, he scrolled through Instagram to see the latest post on Wild N' Out's page. There it had Jennie announcing that she was excited to be a guest on the show in August with Desiigner & Angelina and hoped to take Nick Cannon's belt. 

"Damn..." Matt said as he scrolled through her Instagram page. "This girl is going to be on the show?"

He continued to lurk through her page, liking tons of posts.

“Damn...she is cute,” he said and followed her. 

On Instagram’s following tab where you can see the activity of the people you follow, BTS fans who watch Wild ’n’ Out and check who Jennie is following and who is following her noticed that Matt had followed her.

Mattrife started following JJennie_JW

They even noticed his comment on her recent photo. A simple eye emoji with a smirking emoji.

Fans immediately jumped on the situation and began commenting and making Twitter threads to bring awareness to who he was and the whole Zendaya situation back in 2015.

‘GUYS! WE HAVE A SITUATION!’

‘Matt Rife followed Jennie!’

'They can never make me hate Matt. Shoot your shot!'

'White boys be loving some Jennie I swear lmfaoooo'

'Oh God...Jennie run. Run now run fast’

'Ew wtf he better unfollow her!’

'Stay away from her!’

'He bet not be trying to make a move because Jennie belongs to Bam Bam’

'He is not ruining my ship.’

'That is Shawn Mendes' future girlfriend! He better stop!'

‘Omgg lmaooo she’s going to turn you down’

'I don’t blame him for trying to shoot his shot’

‘Oh, he is handsome! Who is he!?’

'Get in line pal! A lot of people want her’

'He outta pocket for that comment ctfuu’

'Lol goofy’

'Jennie is single! So why not? He’s cute!’

'She single Matt! Make a move!’

‘Date!!’

'I honestly would not turn him down.’

“Whatever you thinking, don’t do it, man,” Nick Cannon warned with an amused voice.

“Do what? I’m not going to do anything,” Matt replied with a shrug.

“Nah dawg, you going to do some stupid shit on the day they come to the show,” Conceited joined in.

“What he tryna do?” Justina asked, interested in the conversation.

“He drooling over one of our upcoming guests’ IG page,” Nick informed her.

Justina rolled her eyes, “Here he goes,”

“What? I just wanna get her number. Come on! You guys can’t deny we’d make a great couple. She is fine as hell. Look at her. Look at them lips. It would fit perfectly on mine,” Matt rambled which made his cast members laugh at him. “You guys are some haters,”

“This is Zendaya all over again,” D.C Young Fly cackled.

“Matt, there is no way in hell Jennie is going to give you the time of day,” Nick guaranteed.

“You don’t know that,” Matt denied.

“Come on, Jen ain’t going to fall for just some white boy looks and so-called charm from yo ass,”

“Ain’t she in some Korean group?” Chicobean pointed out.

“Yeah, I heard that. What they called?” Justina asked.

“Bangtang or somethin’?” D.C called out.

“No, BTS,” Nick answered. “Seven guys and her in that group. Matt, do you really want to get yo’ ass beat by them boys if you try to make a move on her during the show?"

“They ain’t gonna touch me. I ain’t scared of them,” Matt said confidently, “Look I'ma make my move. I got this. You’ll see. I’ll definitely be getting her number. August can't get here fast enough,"

“He a lost cause. He gonna get embarrassed,” Chicobean laughed with D.C.

“Yeah, I know. And watch them Korean boys pop up on the show and say it’s on sight,“ Conceited predicted. "We ain’t helping you out. You on your own,”

Ignoring everyone, Matt went back on Instagram to look through her page and slid in her DMs.

[justaghostingon]

When History Forgets, I Will Remember

There are few true humans left in the galaxy. Askeladd would know, his mother was one of them.

While helping a young Thorfinn with his homework, Askeladd reflects on the nature of history.

There is no greater struggle in life than the task of helping with homework. Wrestling with a kid for hours to grasp the concept of a topic sentence; racking your brain to remember math you've long since forgotten; staying up late to help a kid glue a diarama together for a science fair they were absolutly going to lose; it was enough to make a person to take a short walk into the void of space.

Askeladd was half considering just locking the next person they needed tortured in a room with Thorfinn before a big math test for a few hours, and seeing how long it took for them to crack. The only thing holding him back from enacting his plan was that Thorfinn would probably refuse to let the prisoner help out of spite and then Askeladd would be stuck dealing with the fallout.

"Alright what's it today," Askeladd clapped his hands, looking down at the scowling face of his youngest crew member. "Need me to hold your hand through basic addition?" He laughed at his own joke.

Thorfinn's face tightened like he'd been sucking a limon, but he managed to grunt out, "History test."

Huh. It must be more serious than Askeladd thought. Usually Thorfinn put up way more of a fight before accepting Askeladd's help. A better man would stop teasing the boy and get straight to work.

But Askeladd was not a better man.

"What's this? Thorfinn is struggling with history? After deliberately ignoring me every time I tried to teach it to him? It's almost like he's experiencing consequences to his actions!"

"Shut up! Your teaching is shit. Nothing you talk about comes up on tests."

"Well that's just rude." Askeladd sighed. "Makes me wonder why I put in all the effort. Maybe you should go run to Bjorn instead."

"Maybe I will!" Thorfinn snapped back, jumping to his feet. This effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he was not much taller than when he'd been sitting down. Ever the scrawny runt.

Askeladd raised an eyebrow and waited. They both knew Thorfinn wasn't going anywhere. Not for history.

Askeladd had not, initally, helped Thorfinn with his homework. In fact when Thorfinn was first enrolled in school, as per the laws of the Galactic empire, he'd hoped it's uncompromising schedule would keep Thorfinn off of his ship. Missing the first and last part of the year to join the summer raiding party wouldn't go over with any school, and they'd doubtlessly insisted he stay on Planet Gorm. He'd be free one murder happy kitten getting underfoot, and Thorfinn would be trapped in Gorm's School system learning his ABCs. Or so he thought.

But being the nephew of the leader of an entire planet had its downsides. Namely that certain kissup teachers and staff might decide to adjust Thorfinn's schedule so he could spend his time in the late spring and early fall online, and transition to in-person in the winter months when the crew rested in the village. Anything for the kid Askeladd was enrolling.

Sometimes he was just too popular.

The result of this had been Thorfinn going to school on the ship. Which meant when he'd had problems with said school work on the ship, there was nowhere to go to avoid the tantrums that would follow. It didn't help that Thorfinn was far to stubborn, keeping at a problem he didn't understand while letting out frustrated yells long into the night.

Eventually in the interest of his crew's functionality, he'd had to step in and try to tutor the kid. It had been an uphill battle, but after four years, Askeladd had to admit he was a little proud.

Of himself. For surviving it.

"What time period is the test over?" Askeladd asked after Thorfinn calmed down.

"First Space Age." Thorfinn grunted.

"That's not hard," Askeladd said, flipping open the review sheet, "Everyone knows about the First Space Age." Or thought they did. Funny how much propaganda the Danes could shove into their history classes. Anything to justify their betrayal.

"Here's an easy one." Askeladd's finger stopped on a line. "What does DANE stand for in the DANE Project?"

"Durability, Agility, and Neuroility Evolution Project."

"Neurological Evolution Project." Askeladd corrected. "And do you know why they chose to use this term for our empire even to this day?"

His mother had told him it was because the scientist who first created the DANEs was Danish himself, and wanted the project's name to reflect his homeland. But that detail, along with the entire planet it hailed from, was long destroyed. No one bothered to remember the names of the insignificant countries on the long forgotten planet of Earth.

As if to prove his point, Thorfinn answered, "because they were the first to go to space," with a roll of his eyes. Not a thought to the world that came before. "Can we move on now?"

"Maybe if you could get the answer right." Askeladd said. Technically, it was good enough for a test, but Askeladd was overcome with a longing to speak the truth, forgotten though it was. That someone might hear and remember it. "DANEs weren't the first to go to space. Humans were. DANEs were only the first synthetics sent out to explore the galaxy."

A foolish move. Creating a race of beings stronger than them and then sending them out to explore, believing they'd remain loyal. Oh how his ancestors had paid for that naivety.

Thorfinn looked unimpressed. "Humans don't count. They didn't colonize the planets. And they're not around anymore besides. The DANEs were the real ones who conquered the galaxy for our use."

There was pride in Thorfinn's voice, back straight, synthetic eyes shining and far to detailed to be anything but unnerving to look into. You'd never tell he wasn't human. Not really. But then again, in this age who was? In this vast universe, only a handful of true humans remained.

Askeladd would know. His mother was one.

"Wrong again," he crowed, feeling petty. "The terraformers went first. You'd know them as the people of the Anglo and Saxon systems. They made the galaxy livable for all lifeforms. the Dane may have found the new locations, but it was they who made those locations livable."

Their alliance had not been long. Soon the DANEs would covet the land the terraformers had created and turn on their kin, synthetic vs synthetic, seeking their wealth for themselves. But it still lasted long enough to colonize the galaxy.

Long enough to turn on the humans.

"That's not what the textbook says," Thorfinn frowned, looking from his review sheet to his open history book. "It just talks about how DANE strength led to our victory over the galaxy."

"Textbooks aren't always right," Askeladd placed a hand on Thorfinn's shoulder. "You've got to learn to read between the lines of propaganda."

He doubted even textbooks in the Anglo or Saxon systems would reference the war against humanity, where the created turned on their creator. To much bloodshed for a people group that identified themselves as humble followers of the Gentle Shepherd God.

No, it was only the humans who remembered, the last survivors of the slaughter, eeking out a living atop the backs of the Great Space Whales who were their only shelter. They'd made it work, even raising kingdoms upon the different whale's backs. But the great works of science and art they'd accomplished were far behind them.

Only record keepers like his mother remembered them, spending their whole lives devoted to learning one important piece of the old knowledge so that it might be passed on. Living time capsules, each and every one of them.

Not that knowledge of Earth's legends did his mother any good while enslaved.

"I'm being tested on the textbook, not what's between the lines," Thorfinn said, breaking Askeladd from his thoughts. "I don't need to know what it's not saying. I just need to pass."

Typical Danish answer. Askeladd's upper lip curled into a sneer. Keeping himself blind to the truth, content to live believing himself a superior being, when he was only the descendant of a lab experiment that turned on its makers. Just the same as the rest of the Vikings, whose synthetic hearts longed only for destruction. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered.

"It's important you brat. You need to be able to think! To know when they're manipulating you!"

"Whatever." Thorfinn rolled his eyes, looking away from Askeladd. In a quieter voice he said. "It won't change anything anyways."

Those words froze Askeladd in place, pulling him back to cold garages and stables filled with exotic creatures but never enough food, and most of all his mother's voice, still reciting to him the truth she guarded, even when her mind was long gone.

Hadn't he thought the same, when she told him the truth of this universe? That the last humans escaped earth on the grand ship Artorius. How they built synthetics in their image with a technology so advanced they were indistinguishable from people, and how they were betrayed. A truth erased by history. One no one but his mother and her people bothered to remember.

It did them no good, knowing these things. His mother's status as a true human did not save her from the cold, if anything it made her more vulnerable. No one was coming to save them as the great ship Artorius saved the last of humanity. It was only him, a misshapen, half human, half synthetic atrocity left to defend them both.

Knowing changed nothing, and yet when his mother passed he kept her words alive in his mind. Telling her stories to himself over and over again in the dead of night for fear he'd forget them. Even as he led a very band of the DANEs he hated, as he watched with indifference of the synthetic on synthetic violence they waged (but not against humans, never against humans, not as long as he was captain).

A hopeless legacy, a pointless endeavor. And yet all he had left of his only true parent.

"So cynical," Askeladd clicked his tongue at Thorfinn. "I take it this means you're forfeiting our next duel? Since your loss is predetermined after all."

"What? NO!" Thorfinn wipped his head back to turn his burning glare at Askeladd. "I'll kill you this time! Don't you dare back out!"

"No ten year old is ever going to beat a grown man in a duel." Askeladd sniffs. "But if you really still want it, you'd better stop your yapping and start listening. Failing your test will lower your grades after all, and then you won't get your fight."

"Nuh-uh!" Thorfinn snapped, turning back to his review sheet with new zeal. "I'm getting that duel, just you watch!" Pulling at his text book, he began frantically flipping the pages to find the answers.

"Kids," Askeladd laughed to himself as he watched. So easy to motivate. But at least it looked like Thorfinn had it under control now. Askeladd was free to leave.

It had been a while since he recited his mother's stories, he thought as he turned towards his captain's quarters. He should do it again now he had a space all to himself.

And maybe, one day, he'd tell them to Thorfinn. The boy already carried one hopeless legacy on his back, what was one more?

[svtdarlingbby]

Let's Start Some Rumors- The8xidol!Reader - Part 1

pairing: The8 x reader genre: idol au warnings: occasional cursing word count: 1,189

Summary: You and Minghao are both releasing singles the same month. Competing for the spotlight is hard, but how about sharing the spotlight?

The past few weeks have been busy to say the least. It was the first comeback after your debut as a soloist; while your debut was even more successful than predicted you knew that meant you had to make your comeback even better. Running between the dance studio, music video set, and recording studio with occasional stops to get your makeup and costume done has been hectic. Even though you couldn't have asked for more, living the dream had you busy.

Through it all however your friend Minghao aka The8 from Seventeen had your back through it all. He was just as busy as you since he was also releasing his solo this month however he made time to review your performance and give you tips. Even the smiles you exchanged while passing by him in the halls as you two attended your respective sessions was enough to reassure you through the comeback process. In fact, he even found the time to watch you perform the final scene for your music video.

You finished the final note of your comeback song, smiling even brighter as you realized this was the last of the comeback prep you had to complete. The cheers from the staff also elevated your mood!

"Great job Y/N!" cheered your manager as she hugged you as soon as the camera cut.

"Thank you manager Lina!" you smiled as you hugged her back.

"I'll get in contact with the editor ASAP. Thanks for your hard work!" she said and scurried off before you could interject.

Looking off to where your manager ran off to, you were surprised to be suddenly faced with Minghao.

"Hey Y/N, don't forget about me! You did great! Your comeback is gonna be so successful!" he said as he held up a fist to you.

"Yo Minghao! I could never! Thank you for coming!" you said, fist bumping him back. "By the way, are you done preparing for your comeback?"

"I've just gotta review the music video with the crew and edit anything before it's published!" he said handing you a bottle of water which you appreciated. The set lights are hot as hell.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you too Hao! Although it's kinda weird that you're more prepared for your comeback even though mine is first," you mentioned as you two walked through the pastel set.

"Eh maybe it's just me who wants to get stuff done early as possible," he shrugged. "But you got this. I'm gonna make the boys stream your song"

"Oh my gosh they don't have too!" you laughed and playfully pushed his shoulder.

"Hey, don't think I don't have any conditions. You better be streaming my song 13 times more!" he smirked.

"Xu Minghao I cannot with you" you playfully rolled your eyes and walked away from him.

"Y/N come back!" he whined teasingly.

"My comback's not until next Friday!" you joked, picking up your pace.

"GODDAMMIT Y/N YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!"

You and Minghao's childish antics had the two of you erupting in laughter that echoed across the pastel music video set. You guys were just like teenagers, so full of life. That did not go unnoticed by your manager Lina and Minghao's manager.

Friday arrived faster than you expected and you felt all of the emotions. Your heart beat in excitement, nervousness, fear, and anticipation. How you wished your fans and listeners in general would fall in love with your new song you worked so hard to accomplish.

However, your hopes were shattered by the end of the day. You were thankful to have so many loyal fans buy your album and watch your music video, however numbers were still low. Lower than your debut. You found yourself glued to your phone screen that day, scrolling through various social media platforms to see what everyone had to say.

@Y/NsSmile: Y/N's comeback is sooo good! C'mon guys let’s stream their song!

@hater239: why would we stream a mediocre queen? yeah the song's okay but like her company sucked at promotion

@592luvY/N: first of all, fuck you. second of all I hate that I'm agreeing with you that HYBE could've done a better job at promoting Y/N :\

@Y/NsSmile: yeah I think the numbers would've been higher with better promotions like her debut but come on guys keep streaming!

@kpopstanrocks1244: wait Y/N had a comeback??

Interactions like these were pretty consistent through all of the social media platforms. Even the haters saw what was wrong. You weren't being promoted as much as your debut. Maybe HYBE thought the hype from your debut would carry over into your comeback? It looks like the complete opposite was happening. Feeling bummed out, you kind of isolated yourself aside from Tweeting your fans your genuine thanks for their consistent support. Just as you were about to try and sleep this feeling off, you received a text from Minghao.

Minghao: Hey Y/N, I'm so proud of you. Numbers aren't everything. Quality artists and their songs are more worth it, just like you

Despite your unhopeful mood, you felt yourself smile at his kind message.

Y/N: Hey Minghao, don't worry about it! Thank you so much for the support seriously. I hope your comeback doesn't flop lol

Minghao: bruh you're not gonna flop. it'll be fine. please take care!

Y/N: ur too kind Minghao, thank you

The short conversation ended there before you went to bed. You'd have to wake up early for some meetings and some more attempts to promote your song later tomorrow.

The next morning came quickly and you still felt groggy. The euphoria from your debut did not transfer to your comeback. Begrudgingly, you made it to the meeting room where your manager Lina told you to meet her and the higher ups. In all honesty, you wanted this meeting to end quickly since you knew you might be berated for the low numbers despite having no control over pre-comeback promotion.

"Hello-" you said as you entered the room but cut yourself off at the sight of Minghao in the meeting room.

"Good morning Y/N, take a seat" said manager Lina.

You sat down and the meeting began.

"So as we all know, Y/N's comeback did not perform as planned," said the head manager.

"Sheesh, isn't that the elephant in the room?" you thought but nonetheless tried to pay attention, averting Minghao's gaze.

"These numbers are appalling, however the comeback is still salvageable," said the head manager.

"How, sir?" asked manager Lina knowingly.

"Well, we know that Minghao's comeback in next week and we don't want the same happening to him. And we don't want to lose profit on Y/N's poor comeback. So we need publicity," said the head manager.

"Right, so Lina and the head manager have devised a plan involving both Minghao and Y/N," said Minghao's manager.

"What does the plan involve?" you asked as you glanced over at Minghao who seemed just as confused.

"We're going to create a dating scandal between Y/N and Minghao"

"WHAT?!!??"

part 2

[lgcbk]

⸻ NEWKIDSNEWDREAMS ( MISSION001 / newkids profile ; © )

Byeongkwan enters the room with a two-finger salute, beaming as he greets each staff member and makes his way to the seat placed before a plain backdrop. He faces the camera with his usual relaxed confidence, a half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Ready? the PD asks from behind the crew. "Always."

'Between dancing, singing, rapping, producing and lyrics writing, which skill do you want to be recognized for?'

"Rapping." He answers without hesitation. "In a way I think it embodies all of the skills I would want to be recognized for. Lyric writing, stage presence, performance... The way I see it it's a full package in one." He sits back in his chair with a pensive hum. "I also used to dream of being recognized for my KOMCA writing credits - and make no mistake, I still want that - but... I really want to be the kind of rookie people can't forget after first listen, or first watch. I want my lines to be stuck in a loop in everyone's head, that kind of thing, you know? I put a lot of myself into this and... I'm really hoping to hone my craft, make a name for myself, and all that... But as a rapper in this group." He nods, drumming a beat on his knees with his hands.

'Which role would you ideally like to have in the final lineup?'

"Main rapper." Another quick answer, blurted before the PD could even finish asking the question. "I don't mean to sound..." Conceited? Overconfident? Cocky? Maybe all of the above. "It's what I've been striving towards. I think I've had a lot of opportunities in the past year to show off some of my skill, but in the final lineup I'd really like to prove that I'm deserving of the main role."

'On which other youtube show would you like to appear?'

"I'm already on the best one, aren't I?" he fires back with a cheeky grin. "Just kidding - I've been on a few shows through Legacy Studios and it was a great experience. Maybe my own one day...?" he chuckles, bashfully prodding at the back of his neck. "If I had to choose... Maybe MMTG? I'm a big fan of Jaejae-nim and I think it would be fun to appear on her show as a group. Oh, Jaefriends, too. I've been a fan of Jaejoong sunbaenim for the longest too, so - Ah, and GYM JONGKOOK, for sure. I've been training, check it - " He rolls up his sweatshirt sleeve and flexes his arm, giving the camera a wink.

'What's your ideal concept?'

"Two words? Cool and fun," emphasized with a flick of the sunglasses he'd been sporting at his hair line onto his face. "I really want to do a concept that has that high energy, get-up-and-dance, nothing but good vibes kind of feel." He grins, taking off his shades and tucking them onto his collar. "A concept where we're having so much fun up on stage that anyone watching us can't help but jump out of their seat and have fun too, you know? Bonus if we can get some laughs in there."

'Is there a concept that wouldn't suit you?'

"Ah..." he trails off, clicking his tongue as he racks his brain for the best way to say - "Anything too cute. I - " hate aegyo. "I'm not too good with cute concepts... And I think I'd - " look fuckin' ridiculous. "I don't think I would suit that kind of concept very well."

'As an idol, what do you want to achieve?'

"Greatness." He's silent for a beat before letting out a chuckle. "I don't know... There's so much that I want to achieve? I guess first, a successful debut. Rookie of the year is always on my mind, so that's definitely something I want us to gun for. Personally? I want - " For the first time since the interview has begun he finds himself at a loss for words. To make them proud, sounds in his mind. For once. Impossible, it seems. He clears his throat, cracking another smile. "I'd really want to perform a song live that I played a major role in producing... Doing that and having it recognized by an award? I'll feel like I've made it."

'Is there anything you would like your group to be known for?'

"Known for? ...No filter rookies." He shoots the camera a cheeky grin before quickly raising his hands to wave them dismissively at the camera. Before this gets cut - "What I mean is, I want us to be idols that don't hold back and show our true selves. I feel like each member of NKND will have their own charms - quirks - and I want us to be able to express ourselves freely with each other and with our fans... Show the world it's okay to be a little loud, a little different. We still make great music, put on great performances, and can become a group that our fans are proud of while coming as we are each and every time."

[outrunningthedark]

That worked out well for tarlos’ wedding lets see if they get the ratings they neeed (I doubt it cause if people dont like the first hour theres a chance they could turn it off even though its tarlos wedding)

See, my thing is that Tarlos hasn't drawn in the viewers all season (not like the beginning of s3 where we were :o because those first four episodes had even better numbers than OG in 5A), so I *would* be surprised if more people suddenly tuned in because the canon gay couple - that's been there the whole time - is finally getting married. But I could be wrong! Since we're talking about the Tarlos wedding...am I the only one who (at times) feels like the more promo Tarlos gets, the more OG's intentions with Buddie can't really be debated? Tim & the writing staff - some of the same people who have worked on OG after Eddie was introduced - are clearly proud of what they've created with Tarlos because it's a ship that gets A LOT of attention on social media and in regular media (magazine articles, award shows). Yet we're six years into Buck's story, five with Eddie, and those bi "jokes" are still just that, jokes, and Kristen is revisiting Eddie and Shannon's relationship to be like "He really did love her and what they had!" which goes against fandom consensus re: his feelings about his attraction to her changing over time. (Ftr, I'm not trying to turn this into an "Eddie isn't bi" discussion because I honestly don't care what he identifies as if he were written as queer. What *I* take away from those choices, though, is a reinforcing of his heterosexuality. *shrug*) The fact that the OG crew goes out of their way not to quote-on-quote queerbait aka promote the friendship and then be able to have the last laugh by making them canon...does nothing (IMO) to support the belief (the hope, really) that putting them in a romantic relationship is a serious consideration at the moment. If the show runners know they're not baiting anybody because there WILL be progress at a later date...why so afraid of what we're saying in the interim, right?

[an-organized-confusion]

Okay so this is a random question but I’m curious. If the sanders sides gymrat au had pride outfits, what would they look like? You can go into much detail as you want. This is just something that popped into my head

Good question (especially since I'm not actually the most fashion oriented, pffft)... hmmm.

Roman

Cis Man

Aromantic (Bellusromantic) Gay

Probably the most flaming of the group - but it’s stiff competition with his brother and Janus. So. Much. (Food-safe/bio-degradable/hypoallergenic) Glitter. In fact the three make that part of things an actual competition, things get as hilariously heated as one may expect. Also can be seen with a rainbow ball gag on his person, sometimes wearing it, courtesy of Jan. Of course.

Remus

Transmasc Nonbinary (AFAB)

Polyamorous Gay (Bellusexual) Ace

He will look like he crawled out of a waste bin a bunch of unicorns threw up inside. He will look like the most genderfucked punk he possibly can. He will be the most disgusting about the PDA with Virgil possible (up for interpretation there, but it will also be kinky.)

Janus

Genderfluid (AMAB)

Aroflux Pan

Would probably have to hope he’s saved up a lot spoons, but damn it. They will go all out and be the most extravagant femme domme at the scene. Yes, they will parade Roman around with at least a collar. Thank fuck they’re rich enough to afford make-up artists who can work with their skin sensitivities. (Why yes, I’m still completely not over that Dimitrescu-inspired photo shoot, glad you asked.)

Virgil

Gender-Questioning (AMAB)

Polyamorous Biromantic Demi

He's kinda stealth about it. His favorite color scheme is purple anyways. He’s more out and proud in selective situations (the gym crew, queer-friendly joints like the gym they go to, and Pride events.) It’s more because security in numbers and his baseline anxiety issues under other circumstances (doesn’t want to get harassed at the Wendy’s over it). He does get those butterflies hanging out with Remus during these events.

Patton

Cis Man

Panromantic Gay

He'd probably be a bit over the top with the "wearing your faith on your sleeve" spiel. Esp given how much of the queer community has trauma from the Christian apparatus... but he will LOUDLY roast the likes of a certain Baptist Church that starts with a W and ends with an O. So he tries to rep the parts of [the] religion that isn't Completely Awful. (And given his past as a combat medic - he also regularly signs on as one of the medical volunteer staff at events/protests.)

Logan

Trans Man

Polyamorous Aroace

I think he'd be the most understated about it, wearing his usual attire with a few pins on his shirt (like the sketch I drew of the guy.) He's proud but just isn't "in your face" about it. (More just his mode of comfortable expression than pulling respectability nonsense over it. He is a software and infosec specialist... he has his ways of doing The Activism.)

[lgcsoyoun]

Congratulations

Never in a million years did Soyoun ever think that her sense of humor would get her anywhere in life. She always thought it is just a nice bonus to whatever personality she already has. However, being nominated for a variety award in her rookie year says otherwise. Soyoun supposes that maybe making a fool of herself and being game for anything the PDs throw at her has its merits. As long as the cast, crew, and audience are all happy with her, she’ll take whatever she can get. 

However, there are others in possible contention for the Variety Star Award, and Soyoun can’t help but convince herself to manage expectations. After all, just because she’s from Legacy doesn’t guarantee that she’ll get it. If she doesn’t get it this year, she’ll just have to work harder to do even better. 

Even then, Crystallis have won three awards so far as a group, and her group mates have also won individual awards. Soyoun can’t help but want one, too. After all, she still craves for validation. It’ll suck if she doesn’t get one, but it’s not the end of the world if that happens. 

They all worked hard, Soyoun thinks to herself as she politely claps for all the other celebrities nominated in her category. It’s easy to maintain a bright expression on her face. After all, it’s still exciting to be here. Win or lose, she  made it this far. Half of Soyoun dares to hope that maybe she might have a chance. 

And then, the presenter finally calls it. “Crystallis’ Astrid!” Despite all the applause around them, Soyoun smiles and blinks as she takes it all in. She just won her first individual award as a debuted idol. Her brand of messing around has some merit after all... It takes one of the other members prodding her to get a move on toward the stage. She makes a mental note to thank them for it later. It is only at that moment when she realizes that “Holy shit. This is for real.” She snaps out of her stupor as she walks on stage with a bright smile, making sure to bow to the seniors and other artists she passes along the way.

She hadn’t cried when Crystallis won any of the awards, preferring to be the smiling face in the team. She hadn’t cried when she got the award as LGC Girls more than two years ago. Now, all she feels is a big smile on her face as she walks up the stage. It’s this big bubble of happiness that’s probably visible in her eyes as she bows to and shakes hands with everyone she meets along the way.  She supposes she’ll cry when she gets home to talk to her family tomorrow morning, but that can wait. 

As she accepts the award and thanks the presenters, Soyoun then steps up to the podium where she’s supposed to give a short speech. 

“It’s an honor to receive this award. Thank you to CEO Park Jeongan, teachers Kim Hyuncheol, Lee Iseul, Roe Kangdae, for taking a chance on a girl with big dreams but had no idea how to achieve them. I hope to do better and make you proud. To our other teachers and coaches, thank you for not giving up on me despite all my shortcomings. To all the stylists, hairstylists, road managers, and the rest of the staff who made this possible.” 

She thanks her past self for actually coming up with a speech. Otherwise, she would have been stuttering on TV a lot. “To the PDs, thank you for giving me a chance to be part of your variety shows. It is an honor and pleasure to work with you all. I hope this isn’t the end of our working relationship and more shows are in store, yes?” She playfully winks at the cameras. 

“To my seniors and fellow guests, thank you for making me more comfortable to be myself and have fun,” she continues. “I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself without your guidance.” 

She takes a deep breath. “To the Crystallis members, thank you for being so understanding when I had to leave for my filming schedules. I hope I made you proud to have me as part of the team.”   

“To my parents, maybe you guys were onto something when you said I made people laugh. Well, look where all those years of making fun of me have brought us.” Soyoun lifts her trophy for emphasis. She lets out a breath, “To Junhwan and Max, I hope to my antics on TV made you proud to have me as an older sister. Finally, to the fans, thank you for your constant support and unconditional love! I hope to be an Astrid you are all proud of. I love you. Skrrrt skrrrt!”  

[severingt]

Eulogy for Steve (12th October 2001)

When I was asked to say a few words today, I was very proud to accept. I’d hoped to get this opportunity. Steve and I have within months, the same length of service, 10 years. Within months of being the same age, my youngest son sharing Steve’s birthday We worked very closely together on staff training and previously on inmate Pre-Release Training and have shared similar formative life experiences

So, I thought about how to tackle it, what angle should I take? Then I thought: ‘Why not ask Steve?’ After all, I know him better than most, at the prison anyway. So I did. The first thing I think he’d say would be ‘You got a poison chalice there, bud’ (one of his favourite sayings)

Then I think he’d say what he always said to me regarding presenting training ‘I have confidence in your judgement and trust that you’ll come up with the goods’

Someone once wrote: ‘Shall I mourn your decline with some thunderbird wine and a black handkerchief?’ I don’t think so, that’s not what Steve would want I think Steve would want us to celebrate his life.

I asked for people’s thoughts about Steve and some felt that he believed in what he was doing, others felt that he was very focused. Some felt that he would always try to do right by people. The Samaritans group, and Rachel in particular, will remember him for his constant support.

Within the Prison Service cynicism can easily develop, bearing in mind the nature of the business. Steve rose above this being always both caring and supportive (and I certainly know this to be true). His approach was both individual and unique. Perhaps the nail was hit on the head when someone remarked that Steve was too nice to be a Prison Officer?

My own thoughts are of him being very generous and self-deprecating. For example, he asked me to help him create some computer generated overhead projector slides for his Senior Officer promotion board presentations. He applied for three posts and got offered all three. Even though my contribution was minimal, Steve very generously suggested that my help with the presentation slides contributed to his success. But it wasn’t that, at all. We all knew that he was offered the jobs because he was the best man for each of the jobs.

In his role as training manager at HMP Ford, as with all areas that Steve was involved with, he always tried to go that extra inch to make your experience more rewarding. I would like to relay an anecdote that reinforces this. One of the officers at Ford wrote this for me to use and I think it’s fitting as it involves the Prison Service, the Fire Brigade and this chapel.

An officer at Ford asked Steve if it would be possible for himself and his teenaged son to take a look around Chichester fire station. Steve asked them to come along on a Wednesday parade night. They arrived and Steve started to show them round. After about 10 minutes the alarm went and Steve ran off.

A couple of minutes passed and he returned and said they should cross the road as the church opposite was on fire. They spent the next hour watching Steve and two crews tackle the fire. When the firemen had all packed up, the Prison Officer said to Steve, there was no need to set fire to the church to give us a practical demonstration as well, you know. Typical Steve.

That’s all I have to say apart from to say thank you to Steve for being the best mate anyone could wish for and I (or we) shall miss him very much. -Glenn

(c) 2009 GT

[lgcjisoo]

XANDER: OFF THE RUNWAY ⇀ EPISODE 012

it amuses him how jisoo hasn't thought of doing anything related to food on his channel before. he didn't want to overlap too much with the others who might have done mukbang related or food related channels, but it wasn't going to be a regular occurrence. and of course, while he hates that he couldn't get his mother to be the teacher on the show as a guest, he would rather not disclose anything too private from their home life and her location for his family's safety so he'd much rather keep them out of the public eye.

in which, he finds himself at a hole in the wall restaurant, one where he's rather good friends with the owner, so they allowed him the chance to have a behind the scenes shot at the cookery and teaching him how to cook some of the easier meals. the restaurant specializes in gopchang but he's not necessarily keen on eating that, so they compromise on making the basics instead, and showing snippets of each area without revealing the chef's secrets.

"this place is known for their gopchang! it's been a trending food lately, and i am sure it tastes good. we'll try a bit later in the soup, but since the gopchang is already cleaned and prepared, and only needs to be cooked, we'll show more of how to make the broth and assemble the bowl instead. i hope that doesn't disappoint you but, most of us don't readily buy gopchang to eat... or do you? is that a thing nowadays?" jisoo will admit, he's gotten better at interacting with the camera crew and staff in comparison to his first few episodes. he's quite proud of it, but they're not on episode 12 for no reason, with some scrapped episodes that never even made it to the channel. the restaurant staff clarifies that it is possible to cook at home, but it can be difficult because it's easy to cook it wrong, which makes people say that it's different at home in comparison to a restaurant. "the important thing is to clean it properly, but also cooking it properly. so a lot can go wrong. which is why i am in their capable hands... but let me stop talking and we'll show you a bit of some that are in the middle of being boiled, having already been cleaned. look, there's a lot of ginger in there. i think this is actually a necessary step."

"oh no, apparently while that is cleaning,i am going to have to start with the vegetables so we can compile all of the ingredients for the soup. you're going to see how badly i cook onion. hopefully i don't tear up, but if i still look good while tearing up, maybe i can make that an angle for an audition... i'm kidding, but if you see me in a show again, maybe i am not..."

[cyanoscarlet]

I’d better write down last night’s dream before I forget it.

I was offered a gig as a standby medic for a late night shoot. My parents didn’t approve of it until I convinced them the client would provide transport to and from the location. Also the pay was pretty good and would cover the cost of something I’d been saving up for a while now.

10pm: I was picked up by a car in front of the church plaza; it was a nondescript blue car, and a staff member was driving it. The main road was being repaired at that time so we had to pass through several shortcuts through the inner roads. All throughout people in the night market were being unruly and wouldn’t let us pass. We thought we were gonna be late.

We arrived at the location around 11pm. It was in a high-rise five-star hotel, one I’d always dreamed of going to someday. We were escorted up to the top floor, where the bar/club and pool were located. The shoot had already begun, they said. As we passed through the throngs of partygoers, I spied a few of my medical colleagues living up the evening, but I paid them no mind.

We arrived at the pool, which was closed off like a crime scene. Turns out it was part of the set design, and the words were stylized versions of the artist’s name, besides the typical Warning and Keep Out ones. In the pool were several crew members surrounding two people practicing how to dive and rise from the pool in-character. I recognized the artist at once: Hwasa.

I could barely believe my eyes. Why was she shooting in Manila, of all places? Didn’t Seoul have enough studios for this kind of thing? Or maybe I was actually in Seoul and was just confused? At this point maybe I should’ve realized it was not real, but everything was too vivid to be one.

They did a practice run with cameras rolling. I was seated at the poolside in the medical tent. Hwasa danced the chorus part of the song, occasionally turning her head to face my direction. I was dumbstruck at how beautiful she was. I put a hand over my heart, almost in tears.

I think I dropped my phone at some point due to shock, then had to look for it along the poolside gutter, but it still worked 100% fine when I found it. Another sign that this was just a dream, but I refused to believe it.

An hour-long break was declared later, and the staff member who came with me sidled up to Hwasa’s crew; soon enough, I was also being pulled to a midnight snack at the hotel’s restaurant, and I was walking behind Hwasa herself.

Dinner was fun overall, albeit with the occasional tension between Hwasa’s management amd the production team. Hwasa’s brows were furrowed, but she kept on eating her fill as she listened. She needed all the energy to last the entire night.

I can no longer remember what exactly happened after that, but suffice to say that the shoot pulled out all the stops it needed and exceeded expectations. I was so proud to have been part of that production, and eternally grateful to have been given the opportunity. Hope this kind of dream happens again. :)