#for the extra trauma <3< /div>
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vultures-and-scavengers · 3 months ago
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so how long was kinloch under the control of demons?
because depending on how long you think it was taken over, add in the extra horror of the triple combo of dehydration, starvation and lyrium withdrawal to what cullen was going through.
i wonder if his nightmares being worse off lyrium could be influenced by the possibility that his trauma might have a connection to withdrawals.
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broken-heart-raven-queen · 9 months ago
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We all know by now Andrew and Neil are light sleepers because of trauma and being in unsafe places but I just read some of the extras and I picture this scenario:
Andrew wakes up night after night when the cats jump onto the bed the first few months because he is not used to their weight and they didn't learn yet to do get on from Neil's side.
Neil of course gets woken up by Andrew's panic and gets worried (he's also starttled at first) and tries to help and reassure him, but at the end neither of them goes back to sleep.
At the beggining is fine, they are both used to fucked up schedules but they are people and obvious they start to get cranky and fight a lot (more) during the day for silly reasons. Other people is noticing it too and then it affects their performance on the court.
So one night, Andrew decides to "sleep" on the couch (he thinks he could be awake all night binging some show to avoid beeing paranoid) and this is because he saw that Neil really needed to sleep well at least one night. He does not feel guilty, tho, he's just Andrew and cares for Neil way more than he cares about himself.
Ok.
So that night he innevitably falls asleep and is woken up by Sir who is now on his chest curled up as a fluffy ball.
He starts to get mad, but he can't. Not really when he picks the cat up and it is sooooo soft. And then Sir tries to lick his hands (he might be snacking when he passed out) and lets out a quiet "meow" because he can't reach him well.
And Andrew looses it. He starts laughing to the point he cries.
Because everything is fine. It's just a cat. His cat.
And no matter how broken he is, Sir would love him and do it again a million times more. Because he had chosen him.
Just like Neil who's staring at this situation in silence from the livingroom door.
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izloveshorses · 11 months ago
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anya + flinching at loud noises and sudden movements (vs dmitry noticing, adjusting his behavior, and becoming a source of comfort)
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lunarharp · 3 months ago
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago
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Big shout-out to the ocs and lore that depicts physical/appearance changes due to high concentration and uses of magic btw that shit is so cool. Whether your wizard's hair turns blue or straight up grows an extra arm due to the excessive amount of powerful magic they use everyday I eat that shit up. Bonus points if it's a rare/newly discovered condition or if your wizard is just straight up unrecognizable from arc 1 to arc 4. Bonus bonus points if the wizard gains a disability from it and has to learn to adapt to their new condition
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kur4p1k4p1k4 · 4 months ago
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Just finished season 3 of Castlevania and well. My favorite characters are Hector and Alucard so if you know the show you can probably guess how I'm doing.
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baldurs-gate-official · 11 months ago
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Thinking about how Astarion insisted on staying up to keep watch in the beginning of the game
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Yeah, it could be because he needs to go hunt at night without anyone noticing, or because he's keeping an eye out for Cazador/his minions. But... It could also be because he's scared of sleeping/trancing in general?
He's got severe C-PTSD. I have that too. And one of the things I experience from it is a fear of falling asleep.
Sleeping is vulnerability. You're completely defenseless. It's terrifying to fall asleep when you're used to danger! And some abusers will purposefully do things to you when you sleep. I wouldn't put it past Cazador to have done something like that.
It's especially terrifying when you're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, or as out and open as a forest. With strangers.
Add in the elvish reverie (if we assume Astarion still experiences it as he would if he were alive at his current age)... and he might even be reliving horrible memories every time he tries to rest.
(If you're unfamiliar with elvish trancing/dreaming, I made a post about it and some ways it might affect Astarion as a vampire spawn a while ago)
One of the reasons I think this could be the case is actually the other spawn, specifically what I noticed when we first meet Dalyria and Petras. At first I thought Astarion's eye bags were just a product of being undead. But... Petras, the very human looking spawn, doesn't have that. Dalyria is an elf as well, and like Astarion, she's got some of that tired sleep-deprived purple under and around her eyes.
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So all this considered... I think it's very possible that Astarion has a fear of sleeping too. Or at the very least, trouble resting. Him and the other elvish spawn.
It also makes me wonder if he sleeps any better later on in the game. By Act 3 he probably feels more comfortable with you and the group. Sleeping near familiar people (especially people you're very comfortable with, but that's very dependant on your own choices in your game), and having established night time routines can make sleeping feel a little safer.
Plus by that point he's made many new memories he can visit in his reverie. Maybe instead of remembering the terrible things, sometimes he dreams of sun bathing, the first time he bit you or that bear, or any other happy memory he's created since being tadpoled.
Maybe for the first time in centuries, sleeping isn't such a terrible prospect.
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bunny-hare · 7 months ago
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Embeces hay que decir chale y seguir con la vida.
Redraw of a old doodle I made aeons ago before I wrote certain crack fanfic.
OG doodle+few others under cut.
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Also tiny bonus with tiny Ninten and Giegue.
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year ago
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The funny thing about Pharma and the Delphi situation is that that's where the concept of the DJD was first introduced (with the first scene with the DJD at work happening literally the issue afterwards, issue #6) and literally the more you learn about the DJD the more it vindicates Pharma in his paranoia and being convinced that he couldn't ask for help like
In the Delphi issues we learn that the DJD hunts down Decepticon turncoats/traitors/etc and that Ambulon, one of the Delphi staff, was a Decepticon traitor. We also learn that their leader is evidently terrifying in addition to being a t-cog addict, but that's it.
Except in the subsequent issue #6 and all issues with the DJD afterwards, we learn a variety of fun facts about the DJD such as
Several of the members either literally transform into torture equipment or have said torture equipment built into their bodies
Their leader, Tarn, the guy with the t-cog addiction that forced Pharma into blackmail, can kill people with just his VOICE
We later learn that the DJD have a fanatical devotion to the Decepticon cause/Megatron such that they literally worship an idol of Megatron
Even later on, we learn that Tarn's kill-you-with-his-voice powers work both over the phone and via recordings of his voice
Tarn is also very talkative during torture sessions and he seems to find pleasure in his stupid, smug-smart guy persona where he likes to describe to victims what's happening to them and why. And there's no reason he wouldn't apply this to Autobots just as much as he does to Decepticon traitors
The DJD have access to signal jamming technologies that make it so that even if their victim can get a help signal out, no one will receive it until weeks after the fact
Their entire system of hunting people down is based on pursuing them no matter what, isolating them from any help, driving them mad with psychological terror, etc
They're capable enough warriors to slaughter an entire ships' worth of people, apparently without sustaining any meaningful casualties
They're drug addicts that are prone to overdosing and/or losing control and slaughtering people while they're under the influence
So like???
If Pharma was only privy to HALF of the things that we as the audience know about the DJD, it's perfectly reasonable to assume that Pharma probably wanted to call for help at some point, but was convinced that doing so would lead to 1. the signal being jammed/blocked so no one would help anyways 2. him and everyone else at Delphi (including the TRAITOR WHO IS ONE OF THEIR EMPLOYEES) would be horribly tortured to death by fanatical Decepticon torturer freaks.
Like I get that in the text Pharma only says that he did the Red Rust stuff so that he wouldn't be caught/blamed for the t-cog deal and is prideful about how he stopped the DJD from murdering Delphi, but like...... there's no fucking way that Pharma going "oh I didn't want to get in trouble and also I'm better than everyone" was his PRIMARY reason for everything on Delphi. Pharma didn't go from perfectly normal/sane Autobot doctor to raving egotistical maniac because he was always an asshole and he decided to solve the DJD issue in an asshole way. It's bc according to all canon evidence we have of the DJD and the way they react to traitors/Autobots, Pharma had every reason to fear for his life and believe that no aid would come to him.
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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When I want to think about a happy Jason I think about my Never Robin AU... He's still adopted by Bruce, but just never becomes a Robin, and therefore never dies either. He purposefully keeps out of the Caped community, and is going to college. And because he was never put into the Lazarus Pit, he never got big, so he's like, 5'1 at most. Someone asks if he wants to be a vigilante/hero like the rest of his family and he goes "ew why would I 🤨"
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ayyponine · 4 months ago
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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cherrysnax · 7 months ago
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havin the weirdest crisis of my life
#this is like. did related so im gonna sound completely uh#what’s the word. odd and shit for a sec okay? okay#so I’ve been here. hi im cheri silver yknow me for about 20 years total but jay used to front for years when we were in middle school#im not the. original host I guess but I’ve been around since#we were in the early single digits and never left#so im the host right? I existed to go thru the Trauma#but. it’s been my life for so long. my parents don’t know Her#they’ve only known me#but like. we’re finally starting to let go of that trauma#errr not let go but make peace with it. and we’ve been holding onto it for so long. I’ve been holding on to it for so long#but.. who am I without it? like yes that’s my trauma but also. is my purpose over?? is that why we haven’t been able to draw?#I’ve been the host for 20 years this is my life#my friends my gf my life my hobbies it’s mine not anyone else’s#I let others take the wheel when I can’t (or they forcibly do it for me) and jays been gone for like 3 years he only came back because I’ve#been being traumatized everyday recently. but like. will I have to go too??#reintergration is not really our goal. never has been but like#if we do. will I be here or will She come back? we’ve had false alarms before but it’s mostly been decided that it’s my front my life#maybe im just triggered all the time and that’s why I feel extra out of it#less myself#New Traumas are happening to us everyday#but yeah. I dont talk abt this aspect of my life much but it’s so scary to think about#I’ll talk to Chevy when they get off of work tomorrow abt it if it’s still like. freaking me out#I am me. we are a bunch of niggas but I am me.#did niggas when the identity disorder makes them dissociate smh#😫
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teafiend · 11 months ago
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GIFs credited to @Nungchae (Twitter/X)
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nerdie-faerie · 7 months ago
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Seeing what presents my baby sister gets and realising I really drew the short straw by being the firstborn
#Demon Spawn#+Extras#tell me why this three year old got a pet budgie for her birthday? she cant even spell yet#none of my siblings have ever had personal pets i wasnt allowed a hamster when i was 12 and neither was anyone else but the 3 year old??#she got her own heat pool for her birthday as well and a barbie dream house taller than her for Christmas#and what did i get childhood trauma perfectionism a fear of failure and anxiety#my mum always goes over the top with the youngest girl it happened with my middle sister in that 5 year gap before my mum got pregnant again#i didnt even make it 2 before my mum was pregnant so i never really got to reap the rewards of being the youngest#the lil ones get spoiled to hell and they get a mum with a fully developed frontal lobe and chiller parents#being the oldest sucks there are no benefits to it only responsibilities#btw im not mad at my sister or whatever its nice for her that she gets to have these things#but what do you mean i got the shtty childhood parents and i still have to argue to be allowed to bare minimal at 23 when the 3 year old#gets special treatment that the rest of us wouldnt even bother asking for cus we dont have all the things that came before that point#my issue is that the preferential treatment she gets is useless to her. she didnt ask for a barbie dreamhouse and she cant even play with it#because shes too short whe doesnt need her own pool because she cant even swim yet she doesnt need her own tablet she cant read yet#she shouldnt have her own pet when she cant understand what it means to own a living creature#especially when we dont currently have any other pets in the house#my issue is that the spoiling doesnt even make sense for her age she cant enjoy it cus it doesnt make sense yet doesnt mean anything to her#my mum wants to spoil her cus shes her littlest girl but shes had 7 kids before this she knows whats age appropriate and this isnt
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katanation · 7 months ago
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not to be back on the song recommendation text posts again but !!!! if you are a fan of onewaybroadcast (one-sided radiostatic) and staticmoth, consider!!!! headfirst by sir sly (vox has an inner monologue about whether or not to be with valentino, plagued by anxiety about alastor's rejection)
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hearts401 · 3 months ago
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raises my hand i actually like the concept of a shitty parent getting better i just hate when its used to be like "im good now so you should forgive me."
people grow and change and hurt people!!! and those hurt people deserve to move on without having to forgive their abuser!!!
#this is why i get defensive when ppl make all sorts of reasons why rhinedottir did what she did#if she killed dorian for being imperfect then whatever!! i hate her for that but you dont have to#not only does it go with her little mental break that she 100% had lets be honest#it also fits the “Perfectionist” thing that the sinners were trying so hard to achieve#it MAKES SENSE#even if its nuanced that doesnt make it ok!!! but at the same time i dont think shes 100% stuck to being a terrible person nor do i think++#shes always been a bad mother#i think she was a great mother before everything went downhill and honestly if she gained a sense of apathy towards her kids itd MAKE SENSE#ofc im not saying this is true. im just saying its possible and it doesnt take away from her as a character#elynas is just as reliable a source as albedo dare i say!!! he was not in a strange mindset bc he wasnt corrupt like durin#the way he described her was valid. so was albedos when he said she threatened to leave him.#if the trauma from the cataclysm is what caused everything#that makes sense#but its not an excuse and it doenst mean she had some extra hidden reason for what she did. sometimes people are bad people!!! clearly she+#did SOMETHING right with albedo because he has a sense of morality. but even so you can TELL shes not a good mom EVEN TO HIM#i dont know where im going with this im getting turned around UHM#TLDR; shes a terrible mother. and a pretty bad person. but that doesnt mean im saying shes evil without nuance#it just means what it sounds like#plenty of parents fucking SUCK without meaning to. whether she cared or not she was still a pretty bad mother. thats all im saying#im willing ot talk about her but im NOT willing to have people argue that any of her children deserved what they got.#not albedo and NOT dorian.#elynas to dorian to albedo is a great pipeline for her as a character. which is why i like to believe elynas came first;#alfisol and dorian came close to last#and then albedo came last long after the others#every character has nuance however i am allowed to dislike them despite that#tzu rambles#that said i understand how it comes off as biased when i only talk about her children but unfortunately her children are the only reason i+#know about her at all. thye are my favorites and my content centers around them </3
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