#for the death of someone he knew not to be dead

[venusbyline]

Sleep ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 26, oct.

(late post)

— pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x twin sister!reader

— type: smut, dark, Kinktober (House of the Dragon Edition)

— kink: creampie

— summary: Jacaerys was determined to make you his wife, forcing his mother to marry him to you, even against her will. Or against your will too.

— word count: 1.3k

— tags/warnings: kinktober 26th day, female!reader, dark!Jacaerys, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, creampie, Targcest (twin brother/twin sister), dubcon somnophilia, rape/non-con, vaginal sex, breast worship, butt worship, breeding kink, degradation, praise kink, corruption kink, loss of virginity, blood licking, squirting, cum eating, cum swallowing, dacryphilia, crying, watersports, doggy style position, minor Jacaerys Velaryon/Baela Targaryen, Referenced Targaryen/Velaryon Incest (cousins), implied/referenced cheating, underage sex, ambiguous/open ending, non-consensual drug use (herbal tea), drugged sex, forced orgasm, forced pregnancy, marriage of convenience mentioned, butt slapping, biting, hair-pulling, manipulation, sexism, possessive behavior, implied breastfeeding kink, implied lactation kink, implied pregnancy kink, innocent!reader, virgin!reader, dark content, sadism, dom!Jacaerys, sub!reader, canon divergence, porn with plot. no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— tagging list: @baybaybear1 @blessedbymoon @p45510n4f4shi0n @lina-lovebug @moonnicole @badger-reads @dearjardim

— crossposting: AO3

— high valyrian words used: Idaña (twin), Hāedar (younger sister), Lēkia (older brother), Muña (mother).

Jacaerys was fed up with his mother's stubborn and boring behavior. Rhaenyra's refusal to break off his betrothal with Baela and refusing to let him marry you, his twin sister, was only making the fucking war even more stressful. As if the death of his little brother Lucerys was not enough, Jace still had to deal with Baela's constant interference against his angry thoughts and the fact that she did not understand why he hated these stupid Dragonseeds so much. It was easy for someone who was children of a Targaryen King Consort and a Velaryon princess to say he was being too arrogant or spoiled.

Either way, Jacaerys did not want a damn betrothed who was barely fit to support him during the outbursts. Even though she was extremely delightful and an excellent warrior, Jacaerys needed more. He needed a caring wife. And he knew you could play the role very well.

His anger towards Rhaenyra and Daemon was growing, to the point where he sometimes wished that his mother would actually recover her rightfully Iron Throne, but only because then he could rule the Seven Kingdoms soon.

He asked and even begged his mother to change the betrothal, explaining that the bond between the two of you had grown since Luke's murder and he needed you. Unfortunately, Rhaenyra remained a woman of her word, refusing to change the agreement.

Perhaps it was really a spoiled and cruel attitude on Jace's part, but he was determined to make you his wife, forcing his mother to marry him to you, even against her will. Or against your will too.

"Idaña, please..." Your whimper sounded too loud for both of your own good and Jacaerys whispered for you to moan lower, his large hand went straight to your mouth, sticking his index, middle and ring finger there to muffle the sounds that followed as he continued to slowly move his hips back and forth.

Each time he took himself out and put it back in, Jacaerys enjoyed the sight of his cock wet with your juices and also the blood of your innocence, as well as the sight of your voluptuous ass shaking when he fucked you a little rougher than before. He was trying his best to be careful with you, taking advantage of your drowsy dubious consent. Of course he did not want to hurt or scare his little twin sister in any way. He just wanted to left you filled with his seed, making your future heir growing in that soft womb.

"Shhh, Hāedar... You do not want to wake up our mommy, do you?" Jace murmured, pressing his bare sweaty chest against your white satin nightgown-covered back. He really wanted to rip that stupid fabric off and fuck his sister until you barely remember your own name. Until you beg for his cock. Until you were practically brainless. "Mother does not want me to marry you. But you want to marry me, do not you want to, my dear?"

Jace's question made you moan incoherent words around his hand, impossible for him to understand anything, so he took his three fingers out of your lips, wet with your spit and stuck them in your head, pulling your dark wavy hair just like his, despite the difference from length. You were like a reflection of him. The hair, the eyes, the nose... You were like a pure and innocent version of Jacaerys, the version he could never be. You were a true pure soul. You were everything he should have been and he was everything you could become.

He fucked you deeper, slapping your buttocks hard and making you scream softly, while he took the opportunity to pull your hair back, leaving your neck exposed to nibble and kiss. "Answer me, little sister. Do you want to marry me? Do you want to carry the future King or Queen of the Iron Throne inside your belly? Do you want me to turn you into a Muña?"

Perhaps it was your still slightly asleep state, perhaps it was how his cock was fucking you too fast and brutally for your virgin cunt to handle, or perhaps it was the special herbs that Jacaerys had put in your drink during dinner... But you just could not say no to him. You did not even want to say no. All that was going through yourself mind was that Jacaerys needed to keep doing what he was doing, even if it hurt so bad.

"Do you want me to breed you, sister? Beautiful little dark-haired babies sucking milk from your breasts while I sit on the Throne?" His question did not get a verbal response, however, Jace understand it as agreement due to the way your walls tightened around his member. "That is, that is my fucking good little girl... So innocent and obedient." Jace growled between moans, taking his hand out of your head and moving it to the softness of your clothed breast, squeezing roughly over the fabric. "You are taking me so well, Idaña. You are going to look so beautiful pregnant with our children. I am going to fuck my seed into you every year, I will never get tired of that warm and tight little cunt..."

You cried out and felt a sequence of slaps on your ass again, noises so loud that the entire castle was probably already hearing you two. "Lēkia... S-stop... I need to pee!" You suddenly screamed groggily when you felt your lower belly start to ache. You hoped Jacaerys would stop what he was doing and release you, but all he did was chuckle mockingly and grip your hips tighter. "PLEASE, JACE! Brother, please... I really need to pee right now!"

Even though you could not see Jacaerys' face because he was fucking you from behind, but you felt his breath in your ear, his teeth nibbling on your earlobe before he purred. "Then do it." He teased hornily. "I am your twin and some minutes older than you. Also, I am the one who will be the future King, so I am ordering you to do it."

Your eyes widened, coming out a little of your sudden trance and drowsy state when Jace continued holding your hip with one arm, but brought the other to your belly, pressing hard on the place where your bladder was. Tears began to fall desperately from your face and you struggled under your twin brother body, the hot liquid wetting the sheets and both of your legs and the Jace's too. "Well... I thought princesses and big girls did not piss on themselves. Now I guess I was wrong, you are a cute bedwetter, my dear. That was so horny."

The mockery turn everything more shameful and you sobbed, just crying when your cunt began to spasm intensely until you came, a clearer liquid splashing out before you fell face down on the pillow completely, your consciousness fading for a while after the orgasm and something else.

You did not know how long you were unconscious. Probably just for five or ten minutes. When your eyes opened with difficulty, you were still breathing heavily, your face pressed into your soft pillow, hearing Jacaerys growl and feeling him pull his cock out of you after his release, spreading your buttocks to enjoy the view of your bruised ass and reddish and sore cunt, full of cum and drops of your blood and wet with your own pee and your sudden squirt.

"Both of us will hope my seed catches as soon as possible. Right, Hāedar?"

You sniffled and nodded, not protesting when Jace pushed his finger into your sensitive hole and brought it to your lips, forcing you to lick up the disgusting mixture as he smirked, stroking your dark hair too. "My dear little sister. My true future betrothed and wife. You will be such a good mother." He placed a kiss on your shoulder, caressing your sore ass and laying down next to you, ignoring your confused and sleepy cries. "Seven Hells, do not be pathetically dramatic. Just go back to sleep, dear sister. Go back to sleep and then we can rule Westeros together very soon, I promise this to you. Nothing will separate us, not even Mother, Daemon or Baela. Not even you."

HOTD Edition - Masterlist

Criminal Minds Edition - Masterlist

Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist

[help-itrappedmyself]

Dead on Main short

Look, I don't know if you can tell, but I really like soulmate AUs, okay. Also, writing something exactly 500 words is more annoying than I thought it would be, but was a fun experiment.

Lightly inspired by this post.

Danny's parents were never concerned about the words on Danny’s wrist. Given their occupation, they thought Danny would meet someone while studying, or perhaps even lecturing on ghosts, or maybe as part of some other job in the future. Jazz has always been concerned about the words on Danny’s wrist. This is probably the normal reaction, given most people do not surround themselves with the dead. 

Danny himself was concerned about it for a while. But then he died. The amount of death surrounding him at all times, what with his parents’ study of ghosts, practically tripled after that. And suddenly the words ‘Is he dead?’ were a lot less concerning. Because in his life, oftentimes the answer was yes.

Not that he was always around dead bodies or anything. But the company he kept did include a large amount of ghosts and other ectoplasmic beings, that while they were not dead, weren’t technically alive either. 

So, Danny moved on with his life as normal. He knew what his words were, but was never actively listening for them. For a few years there he was barely hanging on to sanity, battling ghosts and trying to graduate high school. 

Eventually, life calmed down. His parents, unfortunately, died in their own lab accident. Danny was in his senior year at the time, and Jazz took a semester off of college to help him graduate and get accepted at university himself. Then they shut the portal down and moved on from Amity Park.

Jazz went back to Yale. Danny, who did not make high enough grades for that, went to Gotham University. It was there that he discovered he actually really liked college. School was a lot easier when he wasn’t fighting for his life all the time, and this time he got to take classes he was actually interested in. 

By the start of his second year, his life was looking up. He was majoring in mechanical engineering, and he loved all his science classes. He had a somewhat decent apartment, and was living without much worries on the money from selling his parents’ house. Gotham is not the best area, but it can be a really cheap place to live. And he didn’t see Sam, Tuck, or Jazz as often as any of them would like, but they were all happy where they were.

Which makes the current moment much more distressing than it would have been in his teenage years. As Danny looks at the now-dead body in front of him, then turns and presses his forehead into the alley wall. He’s seconds away from banging his head against it, but that would only give him a headache and would in no way help the current situation. 

The vigilante standing across the alley, on the other side of the body, did not move for a solid minute upon rounding the corner onto the scene. Then he asks, in a voice distorted by tech, “Is he dead?”.

This is not good.

[neverenoughmarauders]

Lily's meaningless sacrifice

One thing that irks me is when people suggest that in canon, Lily had any idea that Harry would survive (this is merely a canon post, nothing to do with fanfiction). It irks me, partly because it's just incorrect and that's the sort of person I am. More importantly, however, it irks me because Lily not stepping aside when she had nothing to gain from dying is fundamental to the story.

Let's start with JKR own words from an interview in 2005:

MA: Did she know anything about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry? JKR: No - because as I've tried to make clear in the series, it never happened before. No one ever survived before. And no one, therefore, knew that could happen.

Lily knew nothing about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry. Lily was faced with this choice:

Scenario 1: Steps aside, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 2: Be killed, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 1 is (on the surface) objectively better (unless you're a DE and thus want less muggle-borns around). To Voldemort, it's a simple choice: In both scenarios Harry will die, in one, Lily will survive. In fact, this is what makes a lot of people defend Severus' choice to only ask Voldemort to spare Lily. Severus could not save Harry (and apparently it's totally cool not trying to save others if they bullied you).

Lily could not save Harry.

Lily's choice, as far as she is aware, is not whether to save Harry or not, but whether to save herself. And yet, Lily cannot stand aside. As JKR points out earlier in the interview, what Lily did is not that surprising to us readers ("I don't think any mother would stand aside from their child"). Why? Love. Because, as Dumbledore reminds us on multiple occasions: there are worse things than death - most notably in DH:

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."

Love, and life with and without love is an undercurrent in the story. Lily's sacrifice is meaningless when made, and yet it's the biggest and most understandable expression of love anyone can show someone else. Lily cannot, and does not want to, live in a world where she has witnessed her son being murdered - especially when her husband has been murdered too. A world without Harry and James is no world for Lily Potter.

It is also - bear with me - not that different from what it was like to be in the Order at that time:

[Y]ou weren’t in the Order then, you don’t understand, last time we were outnumbered twenty to one by the Death Eaters and they were picking us off one by one...

“He — he was taking over everywhere!” gasped Pettigrew. “Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?”

The Order operated against the odds and were being picked off one by one. As Peter asks - what was there to be gained by refusing him? What was there to be gained from standing (metaphorically or not) in front of Voldemort's victims? I've said this before and I'll say it again, Sirius' answer is powerful:

“What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?” said Black, with a terribly fury in his face. “Only innocent lives, Peter!” “You don’t understand!” whined Pettigrew. “He would have killed me, Sirius!” “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black.

Only innocent lives. They weren't fighting this war because they were winning. In fact they were very much losing. But they were fighting because it was right thing to do. Many Order members chose to die, rather than to step aside and let Voldemort take over. Only in their case it didn't make a difference - or at least, it didn't feel like it at the time. Members were murdered, and Voldemort was just getting stronger and stronger.

What was there to be gained by refusing Voldemort?

I firmly believe this is a theme that is repeated throughout the book: not just love and choice, but the obligation to choose what is right, no matter the odds (the irony that this was written by JKR will never be lost on me), and how love is a powerful motivator to do just that. Doing the right thing might seem hopeless in the moment - wasteful even - but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing, or that in the end, it won't add up.

Imagine what Harry felt like at the end of PS/SS when he risked his life to stop Voldemort, only to realise that Voldemort would keep trying to come back:

“Well, Voldemort’s going to try other ways of coming back, isn’t he? I mean, he hasn’t gone, has he?” “No, Harry, he has not. (...) Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power, it will merely take someone else who is prepared to fight what seems a losing battle next time — and if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power.”

Harry Potter isn't about doing the right thing because it will bring you rewards, but because it is the right thing.

“Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.”

This speech doesn't sit well with a few people because it sounds like you're asked to remember what happened to someone who did do the right thing (spoiler: he died). But that's not the point, of course. Cedric wasn't killed for doing the right thing or making a hard choice - Dumbledore asks the students to remember Cedric because the enemy is willing to kill innocent people indiscriminately. Standing aside will not be good enough against people like Voldemort. There is, as Dumbledore put it, a need to keep fighting what seems a losing battle. Why? Only innocent lives.

Both James and Lily die that evening because they are unwilling to let Voldemort near their innocent son as long as there is breath in their bodies. James had no choice (this irks me because he did, he could have run away - he could have not fought Voldemort in the Order to being with. They all had a choice, but not the point). Lily had a choice. And she chose, like many had before her, to fight what seemed like a losing battle. She died, not knowing that she had saved her son. Her sacrifice was meaningless - like so many before her - and yet her sacrifice changed the world.

In the end, by choosing to do what was right, she was granted the wish she most desired: Her son lived.

[twooftheluckyones]

Cult of the Lamb: Luck of the Lamb Part 4: Reap the Whirlwind

The physical body does not exist within the afterlife, instead the land is inhabited by the souls of the dead or departed. Resurrection repairs the mortal coil, but godly wounds ceaselessly weep. Thus, a god cannot survive death without the healing properties of a conduit crown. Despite this many have tried, though normally its not someone else's power keeping them clinging to the margins of life. A power now bonded through the sheer force of will to share a lonely throne. ~Previous/Next~ ~Start~ ~~~~ Story Segment Under Cut ~~~~

Rage. Betrayal. Vengeance.

Their fight filled the afterlife with destruction and violence. Two gods wrestling for the key to their power. Blade and blood met flame and fury.

Narinder was an old god, powerful beyond measure even in his imprisonment. He had commanded life and death, and weilded curses effortlessly. Una would not be the first god he'd killed.

Yet fate had other plans.

She crackled with divine energy, dancing around his attacks effortlessly.

Lucky.

It felt like ages, and yet before he knew it, it was over. Her blade, made of his crown, plunged into his chest, and his eldritch form crumbled. A god defeated, reduced to nothing.

And then...

Pain. Nothing but searing hot, agonizing pain. Narinder felt lost in a sea of torment, his body suddenly awash with screaming flesh. Through burning nerves he distantly noticed the world around him felt different, the brittle bone meal landscape of the gateway gone. Instead, he felt stone, grass, and chill air against his skin. His eyes felt like hot coals shoved in their sockets, and even trying to open them felt like a dagger to the skull. The sensations were nothing but a candle to the raging inferno of suffering. In another time, he wondered if this was what the mortals he damned in the afterlife felt like. Perhaps that was his fate now. Eternal pain. Fitting. Yet as he laid there, squirming weakly in the depths of agony, something approached. "Nrdnr?! Hly Shtt!" Muffled words reached his ears, soft hands scrambling over his skin. Some demonic tormentor, come to perpetuate or relish in his state? "Hld Stlll! Fgk Fgk!" It was impossible to think over the agony, and they pushed away his hands as he feebly tried to fend them off. The cold ground under him suddenly felt warm and sticky, the silken robes he wore suddenly wet with something. "Hre! Ths iz phor thg baain." His attacker grabbed his head, shoving some vial of something against his lips. The biter oily fluid hit the back of his throat, a spasm of coughs making his body jerk and flail, each one feeling like barbed wire was being flossed through his bones. This really was hell. Hands yanked his tattered robes off, exposing his skin to the cold air. Some kind of cloth wrapped around his arms, pulled tight against the angry nerves. More on his chest, pushed against the spaces in his ribs where an echo of betrayal now bled. Two betrayals. Twice now he'd trusted and lost for it. At least the last time he hadn't been alive to feel what dying was like. "Hold still! Where did all this blood come from?!" A sudden calmness entered his mind, and the fire of agony faded into a foggy, numb abyss. Narinder opened his eyes. Stars met him, the half moon's pale light shining down. He tilted his head up, the movement feeling like lifting a boulder. Some figure hunched over him, their hands covered in inky black liquid as they quickly unrolled another bandage and began wrapping it around his chest. Almost instantly the white fabric turned black. The fog around his head grew thicker, eyes fluttering heavily as consciousness became fleeting and fickle. The figure glanced at him, red meeting red. Despite his injuries, Narinder still possessed enough strength to recognize them.

"Narinder," Una's voice poured with grief. "I'm so sorry, please just hold on. Its going to be okay."

Another empty deceitful lie. "Una..." he muttered, voice a mere whisper through his scratchy and weak throat. "Narinder?" Her eyes wept a river of tears, the guilt in her words echoed across her face. The traitorous eye of his former crown gazed down from atop her head, watching with unending apathy. Rage bloomed in his oozing chest, a small surge of fury granting him some measure of energy. He summoned all of his remaining power, defiance filling his fading mind. "Fuck you." Darkness.

[bella-goths-wife]

Kiss the barrel of my gun softly: chapter four

Chapter warnings: angst, arguments, sexual tension, stalker vibes, crying, smoking, mentions of brothel, mean Sevika, jealousy, ooc Sevika

“We need to talk” Sevika spits out as she approaches your desk, her eyes landing on the muscular redhead by your side and glaring harshly “alone”

“The Madame doesn’t hold meetings with Silco workers” Ginger states firmly at the side of you before moving slightly in front of you, facing Sevika directly “especially not his second in command, especially not you”

Sevika eyes the woman as she approaches with deadly intent. The woman was in her late thirties, just like Sevika. Sevika couldn't help but compare them both in her mind. While the redhead had many muscles, Sevika had more. While the redhead was quite tall, Sevika was taller. She couldn’t help but to internally gloat at these observations.

That smug attitude quickly disappeared however, when you rose from your seat behind your desk and placed a hand on Ginger's arm, trying to hold her back from attacking. Ugly jealousy rears its head and replaces the victory she had temporarily felt, seeing you be so close with someone else was not something that Sevika assumed she’d enjoy seeing but she didn't expect the very sight of it to make her skin crawl and her teeth clench.

“Well your Madame needs to make an exception unless she wants me to bring more men down and have a much less polite route taken” Sevika growls out with a pointed look towards you 

“It's fine Ginger” you say calmly as she turns to face you with a disapproving expression that you met with a reassuring one “I’ll be fine”

Ginger lets out a sigh before giving the hand on her arm a reassuring squeeze and making her way out the office, making sure to bump her shoulder against Sevika harshly for good measure.

“I’ll wait outside” Ginger states as she exits “Shout if you need me, Madame”

With that Ginger left and closed the door behind her, Sevika turns to look at you with a mocking sneer

“You sure have a type” She spits out, referencing the similar ages, builds and attitudes that she and Ginger shared.

“What do you want, Sevika?” you ask sharply, not rising to her petty comments.

Sevika calms her jealousy with a sigh, reminding herself why she was here. She was here for business, not to ignite old feelings.

“You need to stop this challenging Silco bullshit” she says seriously with an almost pleading expression “He knows you're disrespecting his authority”

“Glad to know my intentions are clear enough for him” you mumble out with a scoff, standing back behind your desk with an uninterested expression.

“Your gonna get yourself killed” she spits out with a frustrated expression, practically glaring holes into the side of your skull “you need to knock it off”

“Silco can’t just kill me” you say with a roll of your eyes “The rest of the Chembarons rely on this brothel too much, and I don’t have a successor to replace me after death yet”

“Your underestimating him” Sevika points out with an annoyed scoff “I can’t keep protecting you from him when you keep pulling shit like this”

“Then don’t protect me” you sneer out as you walk closer “i never asked you to, never wanted you to”

“Well if i didn't you’d be dead by now” Sevika speaks with a raised voice before calming herself with a sigh “look, your young so you won’t-”

“Don’t patronise me” you spit out with a firm tone, she knew your age was a big insecurity for you when the two of you were dating, with you being in your early twenties and her being late thirties, you always thought that deep down she wanted to be with someone her own age instead.

“Pretty hard not to when you're acting like a spoiled child” Sevika yells out as she steps closer so that she’s towering over you.

“I was old enough to fuck” you point out with a yell “so i’m old enough for you to treat me seriously”

“Keep your voice down” She splits out as her hand covers your mouth and head shoots round to look at the closed door that Ginger would presumably be stood behind “do you want the whole building to know”

“Oh, of course not” you say sarcastically as you pull her hand away from your mouth, Sevika instinctively resting it on your cheek instead “Can’t have your precious Silco finding out what he already knows”

Sevika is about to respond when she notices the position the two of you were in with her hand resting on your cheek and her body towering over yours, looking intensely into each other's eyes. She feels the fight leaving your bodies as she lets out a sigh and her gaze softens. She rests her forehead against yours gently and you close your eyes instinctively, melting into her touch and her affection.

“Silco is more dangerous than you understand” Sevika warns with a soft tone “I don’t want you to end up like Madame Emera-”

“Don’t!” you yell out of anger as your eyes snap open and you rip yourself from her hold “Don’t you dare say her name! You have no right to say her name!”

Sevika is stunned for a second as you rip yourself away from her and you face your desk, forcing her to face your back. She lets out a sigh as she collects her thoughts, knowing she’d lost any chance at attempting to reason with you now.

Tough love it is then.

“We’ll be making sure the rest of the Chembarons cut their ties with you until you accept a meeting with Silco to discuss how business will be going down in the future, meaning you will be loosing all profits from each of them” Sevika attempts to keep her tone firm, but it still comes out quietly 

Sevika can see your shoulders shaking and can hear your soft crying, she can feel her heart cracking slowly at the sounds.

“It’s better than the alternative” She says softly, wanting desperately to justify her actions 

“Get out” you command with an exhausted, broken voice as you lean over your desk with your back to her.

She can see the tear drops landing on the desk beneath you, having to stop her hand as it instinctively reaches out to comfort you. Instead she lowers her hand and clenches her fist before she makes her way out the office, leaving you to cry alone.

You had that look on your face, the look of pure hurt and disappointment. She could never handle seeing you with that expression, even the first time she saw it broke something inside her.

———————————past——————————

Sevika roams the dark streets of the undercity with a murderous gaze and a confused head. All she could think about was you, you and your charming little smile, lustrous body and witty little attitude. Her thoughts constantly replayed the moment your lips had met and sealed her fate.

She wasn't used to this, the warm and fuzzy feelings exploding in her chest at the mere thought of you. She was used to screwing whores in brothels or one night stands that she’d fuck in an alleyway and consequentally pretend not to know. 

You're changing her, making her softer and weaker and it's terrifying for her. She’s seeing you in her dreams, smelling your scent wherever she goes, feeling the pressure of your lips against hers whenever she hears anything to do with the gemstone brothel despite not having to go there for weeks, god even now she thinks she hears your voice as she wanders down the desolate alleyways of the undercity.

Wait a second, she actually is hearing your voice….

She follows the sound of your muffled speech and laughter like an obedient dog until she catches sight of you. You're using the back entrance of a popular mechanical shop that leads to the alleyways, laughing and smiling at one of the staff members who blushes and looks away.

Sevika feels a spark of jealousy in her chest as she watches you laugh and smile at the clearly infatuated man until you eventually wave him off and he wanders back into his shop. She then watches you walk further down and follows you the entire time, staying hidden in the shadows.

You eventually stop in a more secluded area, reaching inside your purse and pulling out a pack of cigarettes before placing one between your painted lips. She watches you scramble through your purse looking for a lighter.

“You're out late” you're surprised to hear her voice so suddenly, even more surprised when you feel heat near your face and you look down to see her lighter.

You look up at her for a few moments with wide eyes before leaning in and cupping the flame to light your cigarette, leaning back on the wall behind you to talk to her.

“Had to talk to Tony” you say calmly before blowing the cigarette smoke playfully in her face.

Sevika only responds with a grunt as she leans her shoulder on the wall next to you, leaning down slightly so you don’t have to crane your neck back fully. You bring your hand up close to her face with the cigarette between your two fingers as an offering, she takes your offer and takes a drag from your cigarette even though it's not her usual brand and to her tastes like dogshit, but it has your lipstick on the end to ease the taste.

“Why would you need to talk to Tony?” Sevika asks sceptically as she blows the smoke in your face and makes you giggle, eyeing you almost as if she was inspecting you to see if you had any secret mechanical parts hidden under your clothes.

“One of the girls at work has a really old prosthetic leg and it's been acting up for a while now and making it painful for her to walk” you answer calmly as you smoke “trying to talk to Tony about getting a replacement”

“Your getting her with a prosthetic from Tony” Sevika repeats, slightly surprised “those aren't exactly cheap” 

“It's hard enough living down here missing a limb, she doesn’t need to be in pain as well” you say carelessly with a shrug “I don’t mind helping with the cost if it makes her life a little easier”

You look down at her and your eyes land on the sight of her mechanical arm, you look away with a guilty expression as you realise how careless your words were before muttering a small ‘sorry’

“It's fine sweetheart” Sevika reassures calmly, not looking offended at your mistake one bit “I’ve had it a long time now, I’ve learned to live with it by now”

There's a moment of silence between the two of you before Sevika takes another drag of your cigarette and blows the smoke in your face once again, easing the tension as you let out a small chuckle at her reassuring action.

“Does it hurt?” you ask quietly as you look up at her

“Sometimes” she answers honestly with a shrug “more uncomfortable than anything”

You nod as you look at her slightly guarded expression before standing straight and interlocking your finger with her sharp, claw-like mechanical one, encouraging her to walk with you. She softens slightly at the gesture and walks with you, locking her pinky with yours.

You both stay quiet for a few moments, enjoying the gentle affection as you walk through the desolate alleyways where you wouldn’t run the risk of getting caught.

“Why are you out here anyway?” you ask curiously, ending the peaceful silence 

“Patrolling for a bit before i head to the last drop” she lies, not intending on telling you the real reason was because she’d not stopped thinking of you since the moment you’d kissed and that a part of her had hoped that on the walk to calm down she’d miraculously run into you, which she did.

“Business?” you assume as you look up at her and she simply nods, doubling down on her lie

“Why are you alone out here anyways?” she asks through a grunt “aren’t you worried about all the assholes who roam about here at night?”

“Worried about me?” you ask with a slight chuckle and a raised brow

“Would you be surprised to know I am?” Sevika asks back as she looks away with a slightly bashful face

“Considering we barely know each other” you point out “a little, yes”

Sevika rolls her eyes as she stops walking and uses your interlocked pinkies to pull you back and practically manhandles you against the wall before caging you in with her arms as she’d done so many times and leans down, you let her do all of this with a goofy looking little grin.

“You really have no self preservation skills, do you?” She asks with a scoff, her guard going up again because of your words.

“I didn’t mean it in a nasty way” you reassure her gently which causes her to look taken aback for a moment before she softens again slightly

“Still” she says stoically “your a fool”

“Good to know” you chuckle out

There's another moment of silence as Sevika rolls her eyes and scoffs with a smile as she leans down, your hand lands on her cheek to prevent her lips coming closer to yours.

“Thought I'd told you to stop trying to pursue me?” you say with a small smile.

“Kissing me wasn’t exactly a full proof plan of getting that to happen” Sevika points out with a scoff

“It’s a dead end” you say with a soft tone as you look up at her with hesitant eyes “your not gonna sleep with me”

“Says who?” she asks with a scoff

“Me” you reply firmly

“Maybe i'm not pursuing you just to sleep with you” She declares suddenly, surprising the both of you with the implication.

You stare at each other with wide eyes in silence, Sevika was surprised at herself and you were utterly shocked with Sevika. She pulls away slightly and lets out an awkward cough.

“Madame Emerald and Silco have been having a lot more meetings lately” you point out with a slightly awkward tone, attempting to break the tension.

“What kind of meetings?” Sevika asks curiously

“I’m not sure” you admit with a shrug “Madame has been unusually secretive lately, it's unlike her”

“Unusual for her to keep secrets from her little protege” Sevika agrees with a curious expression

“Do you think they’ll strike a deal and stop being business rivals?” you ask, slightly hopeful at the prospect

“Hard to tell” sevika grunts out with a completive expression “Silco isn’t likely to trust her easily considering the Vander situation”

“Would you like them to make a deal?” you ask carefully, fishing for an answer to see if she was being honest about what she’d said earlier “we wouldn’t be rivals anymore”

Sevika takes one look at your hopeful expression and it almost breaks her heart knowing she’s gonna have to crush it, knowing she can’t afford to show anymore vulnerability after her slip up earlier,

“Why would I care?” she replies purposefully mean and stoic as she raises her guard up once again.

She looks at your taken aback expression before watching you pull away your hand from hers and put your guard back up at the rejection in her words and undertone.

“No reason” you reply as you try and hide your hurt

“No good could come from them working together” Sevika doubles down cruelly as she clenches her fists tightly to stop herself from comforting you.

“Suppose not” you say quietly, lacking the softness from before.

There's a long silence as you stew in your hurt and rejection before you pull away from Sevika.

“I'm gonna head home” you say nonchalantly as you quickly begin walking away, lacking any fondness or warmth in your tone “see you around”

“Yeah…..” Sevika replies to no one in particular as her hand reaches for your figure but makes a fist instead, instantly regretting her words “see you around i guess”

That look on your face keeps replaying in her mind, you looked so hurt and disappointed, she never wants to be the cause of that look again.

—————————-present——————————

“This is bad, Madame” Ginger says as she anxiously paces the floor of your office “really bad”

“I know” you reply with an exhausted tone, your head in your hands sorrowfully as you think of what to do.

“Without those customers we won’t have enough money to keep all the girls fed and housed” Ginger points out anxiously as her pacing increases “we’ll go into debt!”

“It won’t come to that” you say with a sigh as you suddenly sigh “we have another options”

Ginger stops pacing to think for a moment about what your talking about before turning to face you with a mortified expression.

“You can’t be talking about-” she tries to say it but cuts herself off out of disgust “no, absolutely not”

“Ginger” you say gently as you attempt to calm her to no avail

“No” she yells firmly as she walks towards you “go to the meeting with Silco, get more girls in, increase hours, anything but that”

“I can do it” you reassure gently 

“No doing that is only for the most desperate times” She pleads desperately “Madame Emerald wouldn’t want you to-”

“We are desperate ginger, and i would rather do this than ever go to that meeting and let Silco control us�� you say firmly, tears building up in your eyes “Madame would want me to do anything to protect this brothel, and i'm gonna do just that”

Ginger just sighs before gathering you in her arms and holding you tightly and allowing you to sob into her chest, not being able to stand the sight of your tears. She just mumbles “I'm sorry Madame” into your hair as you cry.

You've made your decision and she knows its final, she knows that you're doing your best to protect the brothel. She just wished that it didn’t lead you to this path.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 35

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,090ish

Summary: You and Logan fight to save Mariko.

Warnings: wounds, fighting, near death experiences

Notes: I have loved all the reactions I've received! Please keep them coming. They all mean so much to me! This is the last chapter before we start on the two different endings! Ending 1 will come out before ending 2. Also, before the ending 1 starts coming out, I'm going to post the one-shot for this series about their everyday lives from the ten year gap.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

You gasped as you woke up naked on the medical bed you had died on. Looking around, you could tell that you were alone. Meaning that Logan had followed through with going to save Mariko, which was what you had asked of him. You were honestly surprised that you had risen from the dead again, but you couldn't waste any more time. You needed to get to Logan.

You quickly found some clothes to wear and the location of Yashida’s birthplace. Thankfully, rich people always had a few cars lying around, and you were off. Racing to get to Logan before he did anything incredibly stupid.

~~~

Logan’s anger was fueling him forward. He needed to rescue Mariko and finish off Dr. Green. He needed to get his revenge for you. When Logan arrived at the town, he was met with Harada, waiting in the streets for him. Logan could sense that there were others nearby, hiding in the shadows.

“I see you’ve come to fight,” Harada stated, coming towards Logan. “It’s pointless. You’re outnumbered. The Black Clan has protected the House of Yashida for 700 years.”

The Black Clan began emerging from the shadows, from the alleys and the rooftops.

“Is that all the men you brought?” Logan challenged. “I’m going to get to Mariko.”

“We are grateful for your protection of Mariko. But there is one more sacrifice you must make for her family.”

“Go fuck yourself, pretty boy.”

Harada yelled, and the fighting began. It didn’t take long for the other Black Clan members to jump down and join, with more continuing to appear on the rooftops. Hard ordered them to begin firing arrows as Logan started to run through the streets. Logan got halfway through town before the arrows began to have heavy wires attached. Logan grunted as he tried to continue on despite the resistance of the wires. He groaned as a poisoned arrow hit the middle of his back. His vision began to blur, but Logan continued to move forward. The Black Clan continued to shoot wired arrows into his back until Logan collapsed face-first into the snow.

~~~

You followed the tracks of a fight in the snow once you reached the town. Your heart clenched at the sight of the clear marks of someone being dragged. You knew it had to be Logan. You continued to follow the tracks, slipping into the large house on the hill. With your powers fully restored, it was easy to take down the Black Clan members in your way. Eventually, you reached the center of the building, revealing to be a large, open lab spanning the whole building. 

Glancing down, you saw Logan locked up in some machine that kept his hands facing outward. You could see him moving slightly and groaning like he was waking up. With a sudden tug, you could see Logan trying to free himself. Slowly and quietly, you began to sneak down.

“Stand back," Dr. Green ordered the nearby Black Clan members as she waltzed up. “There is no need.”

“Where’s Mariko?” Logan demanded. “Where is she?”

“Are you pinning for someone who is not your wife? For shame. Where is your wife anyway?” Logan simply growled. “Did she not make it? Too weak?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Dr. Green smirked before looking away at the giant samurai nearby. “Impressive, no? He is made of adamantium, just like you.” Logan continued to try to break free. “Oh, Logan, you know what, I get it. You’re frustrated.” 

She pressed some buttons, moving the machine that Logan was stuck in forward. The machine pulled his arms forward, away from his body. Logan kept heaving breaths as the machine kept him still, drilling into him and inflicting pain.

“I know Mariko is here,” Logan panted. “I want to see her.”

"You want answers,” Dr. Green stated.

“Yes, I want answers!”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could say more, but I was hired in part for my discretion.” Dr. Green leaned forward, up against the machine, taunting Logan. 

“I’m sure you were."

“That and a certain talent for combining biochemistry and metaphysics. High-grade toxins are my specialty. It helps to be genetically immune to every poison known to man, as I am. And immune to the toxin of man himself… as I am.”

“I’ll tell you what, you twisted mutant bitch, why don’t you open these bracelets, and we'll see who’s made of what?” Logan released his claws. Almost as soon as he did, the machine clamped down further around his fists, preventing his claws from retracting.

“The claws,” Dr. Green smiled. "Now we can begin. The suppressant bug you found inside of you and your wife was mine. You took it out on your own. I didn’t see that coming. Did you take your wife's out, too? Is that why she’s not here?”

“You don’t deserve to talk about her!”

“You are strong. You have courage. Real courage. But that won’t help much now.”

The giant metal samurai ripped itself free from the wires it was connected to. It stomped over to Logan, going around him, before stopping in front. You arrived on the same floor they were on in time to see the giant samurai pull a huge sword out and line it up with Logan’s claws. Your eyes widened as you noticed the sword heat up as it lifted. You rushed over and threw yourself between Logan and the samurai.

“Stop!” You shouted. 

The samurai lost its concentration, hitting the back of the machine Logan was in, throwing you, Logan, and Dr. Green around while the samurai fell back. Logan grunted as he landed on his knees.

“Y/N!” He yelled.

You looked up and over at him, shooting him a smile. “Hey, handsome,” you breathed out. “Miss me?”

Logan opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, he noticed the samurai getting back up. Slamming the leftover wrist clamp against the stairs, it came clattering off. He ran over to you and grabbed your hand, tugging you up harshly to stumble against his chest. His lips quickly captured yours for a brief kiss.

“You gotta stop doing that, sweetheart,” he whispered. 

“Gotta keep you on your toes somehow, honey,” you replied with a smirk.

He smirked back. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” The samurai stomping closer caused Logan to start to drag you in the opposite direction. “Run! Go!”

You and Logan ran side-by-side. You noticed Dr. Green rushing to cut you off. You threw your hands out, launching her over the railing and down a few floors in a ball of flames. Harada and Mariko rushed out of a room a few floors up.

“Go!” Logan urged, waving them off. “Run!”

The two of you began running down the stairs. The giant samurai jumped down to the level you had reached. Logan let out a roar as he flung himself at the samurai, causing himself and the samurai to fall down a few levels.

“Logan!” You screamed, looking over the railing to see him squaring up with the samurai. 

You spun around and tried to take the stairs two at a time to get to Logan. You could hear him groaning, straining to keep the samurai’s sword still as he used his claws as a shield. You reached the floor in time to see the samurai pull out a second sword that was quickly heating up. Using the railing, you launched yourself onto the back of the samurai and took hold of the heated sword with one of your hands. You focused on heating the sword up further, causing it to begin to lose its shape. It dropped the melting sword and reached back. It grabbed you and threw you over the railing.

“Y/N!” Logan roared.

You cried out in pain as you harshly landed a few floors down. You could hear Logan and the samurai fighting for a few moments before you heard a thud close by. Logan was quickly kneeling beside you, checking you over.

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyes still frantically searching you over. He carefully helped you sit up.

“Honestly, I’m ready to go home,” you responded.

He let out a hearty chuckle. “Me, too, darling.”

The samurai dropped down onto the level the two of you were on. Logan pulled you up and dragged you over to the electrical boxes. Using his claws, he ruined the boxes, turning off most of the lights in the building. You and Logan quietly hid behind nearby posts as the samurai searched for the two of you. The samurai passed the two of you, allowing Logan to jump on its back and retrieve another sword it had. 

“Y/N!” Logan shouted. 

He tossed you the sword, and you caught it. Holding it with both hands, you began to heat it up. The samurai spun around, kicking Logan down, allowing you to cut the head off the samurai. Logan launched himself at the samurai again, forcing him and the metal monster down to the bottom floor. The samurai slammed against the wall, breaking a hole into it that Logan was launched through.

“Logan!” You yelled.

You ran down the flights of stairs as Logan climbed back into the building. You dropped to your knees in front of him, the two of you quickly wrapping your arms around each other. In a blink of an eye, the samurai grabbed your ankles and tore you from Logan’s grasp.

“No!” Logan shouted, hands barely brushing against your arms as you’re torn out of reach.

The samurai spun you around and grasped onto your hands. The metal clamped against your wrists, and three drills from each of the metal hands appeared and began drilling into your fists, right into your bones. You screamed out in pain.

“Let her go!” Logan demanded.

The middle of the samurai opened up to reveal Yashida.

“Logan-san,” he greeted. “Don't look so shocked. With you at my side, I survived Nagasaki. Surely, I could survive this.” You let out another scream as the drills pushed further into you. “It’s alright. It won’t take long.”

“What are you doing to her?!” Logan didn't know what move to make without hurting you.

“Dr. Green and I have been waiting. It’s only this armor that's kept me alive. We built it to make me strong so I can take what you would not give. And transfer your unwanted healing to my body. It’s only by mere coincidence that your wife could also provide what you would not give. My legacy must be preserved. Your mistake was to believe that a life without end can have no meaning. It is the only life that can.”

Logan was watching as the life slowly drained from your body. You were growing older while Yashida was growing younger. He couldn’t get his eyes to look away from you. He couldn’t force himself to move.

“Logan!” Yukio shouted, throwing one of the large swords in his direction.

Logan caught it, gripping it with both hands, causing it to heat up. He stood up and, with a shout, threw the sword into Yashida’s head. The metal hands retracted the drills and let you go. Logan caught you before you could collapse onto the ground. Yashida stumbled back, gasping for breath, before falling out of the building to his death.

“Sweetheart,” Logan shook you, trying to get you to gain consciousness. “Wake up… I really can’t handle this again… I need you to wake up.” Yukio slowly came over, watching the scene. “Come on, honey.” 

The only hope Logan had was the fact that you were still breathing. You had to wake up. Yukio placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder.

“We need to get her some medical attention,” Yukio said.

Logan nodded, hoisting you further up into his arms before standing up. Yukio led the way out, where Mariko and Harada were waiting safely.

“Logan! Y/N!” Mariko exclaimed, rushing towards Logan. “Oh my gosh!” Mariko looked you over, immediately seeing your increase in age. “We need to get her to a hospital.”

“No,” Logan pulled you closer. “Too dangerous.”

“Logan, I have my grandfather’s business under my control. I have resources. The two of you have helped me so much. Please let me return the favor.”

“Mariko can help,” Harada agreed.

Logan scoffed. “Not really caring for your word right now, bub,” he muttered.

“Trust me,” Mariko pressed. “I won’t let any happen to either of you anymore.”

~~~

Logan snarled at anyone who tried to pry you from his arms the moment Mariko had the group escorted to a private wing of a nearby hospital. Yukio and Mariko had to work together to coax him into setting you on the bed. He insisted on staying near you the entire time. 

The doctor Mariko had called in specialized in mutants, giving Logan hope and making him even more cautious. Logan’s eyes created a rotation going from your rising chest, your face, to the monitors and back. He wanted to know everything and not miss a second of anything. He stood on the edge of every room you were brought into, like a constant guarding shadow. Mariko and Yukio took turns trying to get Logan to rest, but he couldn’t leave you.

It took a few hours for the doctor to get any results from the tests they had run. The doctor informed the group that you were slowly healing and de-aging. They said that you’d be fine in a day or two and would most likely sleep the entire time. The doctor encouraged the group to keep you there until you woke up, and Logan reluctantly agreed. 

“There's one other thing,” the doctor added, after updating the group. “I talked to Dr. McCoy on the phone, and he informed me of the incident that happened ten years ago when Y/N returned from the dead like a Phoenix.”

“What about it?” Logan asked. 

“Was that the only time?”

“No. She did it about a day ago.”

“That would explain what we saw in the blood we took.”

Logan took a protective step closer. “What did you see, doc?”

“Mr. Howlett, your wife is a powerful mutant, but when she rises from the dead like that, it sucks away at some of her abilities. The tests we ran and compared to previous tests that Dr. McCoy had run, show that her mutation is slowly decaying.”

“Are you saying that she’s dying?”

“Not exactly. She could still live another hundred years as long as she is careful. The more she rises from the dead, the faster her mutation will decay, meaning the faster—“

“She’ll die… Can she use the other parts of her mutant?”

“Of course. But I would be wary of bringing her into any more life-threatening situations. I have sent our findings to Dr. McCoy for his records, and so that he can keep track of Y/N himself.”

Logan clenched his jaw as he stared at you, processing the information. Mariko stepped forward and placed a hand on Logan’s back.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Mariko said.

“Of course,” the doctor replied. “I’ll be around if there’s anything you need.” 

The doctor left as Logan walked over to your bedside. You were slowly returning to the woman he knew. But, even if you hadn’t, Logan would have loved you anyway.

“I need to take her home,” Logan murmured.

“I’ll have the plane ready for as soon as she wakes,” Mariko said.

“No,” Logan shook his head. “I need to get her home now.”

“Logan—“

“I appreciate what you’ve done. But it’s my duty to take care of her and the best way I can manage that is at home.”

“If you’re sure.” Logan nodded, causing Mariko to sigh. “I’ll go make the calls.”

Mariko left to go to as she said. Logan gently took your hand and lifted it up, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“We’re going home, sweetheart,” Logan whispered. “And we’ll never leave again.”

~~~

You needed to move, but you were trapped. The familiar weight of Logan’s arms around your waist was comforting, with his head resting on your shoulder. But you felt like you hadn’t moved in days; your muscles were stiff. As you slowly opened your eyes, you quickly realized that you were no longer in Japan. You were home. Logan’s head was on your shoulder, with his arms around you, keeping you against his bare chest. You lifted your arm and began scratching Logan’s arm. He groaned as he began to wake.

“Sweetheart?” He mumbled into your neck.

“It’s me,” you whispered.

Logan’s head lifted to fully look at you as his arms tightened around you. “You have to stop worrying me… I can’t take anymore.”

“I'm sorry. I’ll try hard not to.” Logan leaned down and kissed you softly. “When did we get home?”

“Last night. The doctor cleared you, and I wanted you home.”

You reached up and cupped Logan’s cheek. You could tell that the concern was still lingering. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I know, darling.” Logan grabbed your wrist and turned his head to kiss the palm of his hand. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Logan then explained what the doctor had found out about your ability to rise from the dead. You could feel Logan trembling as he spoke, like he was finally letting all his concerns out. Once he was finished, you pulled him to lay on top of you. Logan was careful not to fully put his whole weight on you but appreciated you holding him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you quietly promised Logan.

“No more danger,” Logan muttered. “No more missions.” He pulled back enough to allow your eyes to meet. “I need you safe. I need you here.”

“I won’t promise that unless you can promise the same thing… I can't lose you either.”

“I’m not the one with the habit of dying.”

“I promise I don't try to.”

“I know, sweetheart… Alright, no missions. No danger. For either of us.” He leaned down and gave you a brief kiss. “I never asked, how are you feeling?”

You smiled up at him. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll let you know if it changes, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I do have one thing, though.”

“Anything.”

“Can we stay in bed all day?”

Logan gave a hardy laugh as he wrapped you in his arms and rolled over so you were on top of him. “Sounds like a plan, sweetheart.”

Ending 1 next chapter >

Ending 2 next chapter >

[waywardmaslow]

The Epic Codependency of Sam and Dean Winchester

• Dean went and got Sam from Stanford not because he needed Sam’s help finding John but simply because he wanted Sam with him 1.01

• Dean threw himself off a bridge just because that’s what Sam appeared to be doing 1.01

• Sam knew immediately when Dean was really a shifter 1.06

• “We accept homeowners of any race, religion, color… or sexuality.” -Larry and Lynda @ Sam & Dean 1.08

• Sam felt no guilt over someone having to die in order for Dean’s life to be saved 1.12

• “A king or two queens?” -Michael “Two queens.” -Dean “Yeah, I’ll bet.” -Michael 1.18

• Dean no longer wanted to hunt down the thing that killed Mary if it meant Sam dying 1.21

• Dean wasted one of the 3 remaining bullets for the colt on a low-level demon who was attacking Sam 1.22

• Sam blindly trusts Dean when he says John is possessed 1.22

• Sam and Dean coming up with identical cover stories and coming to the same conclusion re: “Dana Schulps” clue while separated during a hunt 2.07

• Dean gave Baby to a stranger and locked himself in with a Croatoan-infected Sam, ready to kill Sam then himself once Sam went rabid(or let rabid!Sam infect him too so they’d be monsters together) 2.09

• “So, uh, ..king-sized bed?” -Susan “No no, we’re uh.. 2 singles. We’re just brothers.” -Sam 2.11

• “Bonny to your Clyde” -Hendrickson @ Dean about Sam 2.12

• Dean was willing to cover up a murder Sam may have committed 2.14

• “You two are bickering like an old married couple.” -Bobby @ Sam & Dean 2.15

• Dean’s current relationship with Sam was more important to him than the normal life he could’ve had if Mary never died 2.20

• Dean cared more about Sam going to law school and marrying Jess than he did about any of what he had purely for himself(his job and gf) in his Djinn fantasy 2.20

• When Lily opened up to Sam about accidentally killing her girlfriend, Sam empathized with her by bringing up how Dean might be dead(for all he knew) instead of bringing up Jessica’s death(which he canonically blamed himself for) 2.21

• “Something big’s going down, Dean. End-of-the-world big.” -Bobby “Well then, let it end!” -Dean after Sam died 2.22

• Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead (which lead to him breaking the first seal kicking off the apocalypse) 2.22

• Ruby used Sam’s fear of losing Dean then grief after his death to manipulate him 3.02/3.16/4.09

• Sam was willing to bleed an innocent human dry in order to summon the trickster to bring Dean back 3.11

• Sam was willing to become an organ-harvesting immortal to keep Dean from dying and going to hell 3.15

• “Whatever the magic pill is, I’ll take it too!” -Sam “What is this, Sid and Nancy?” -Dean 3.15

• “Sammy, all I’m saying is you’re my weak spot. You are. And I’m yours.” -Dean 3.16

• Sam tried to open the gate to hell (risking letting more demons into the world) to save Dean 4.01

• Sam tried to sell his soul multiple times to get Dean back from hell 4.01/4.09

• “Are you two like…together?” -Ruby 4.01

• “You don’t need me. You and Ruby go hunt demons.” -Dean being more jealous of Ruby than suspicious 4.04

• Dean willingly handed Anna over to the angels who wanted to kill her because they threatened to send Sam to hell if he didn’t 4.10

• Dean’s siren was an idealized version of Sam 4.14

• Sam consumed more demon blood than normal to kill Alistair and save Dean (it’s likely that this was the turning point when Sam became addicted) 4.16

• Dean knows Sam’s habits so well that he’s able to track him down even when Sam’s trying to do the opposite of what he thinks Dean would expect him to do 4.21

• Sam hunted down Lilith to avenge Dean (which lead to breaking the final seal releasing Lucifer) 4.09/4.22

• “Whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever it is..” -Dean to Sam 5.04

• future!Dean was willing to sacrifice all his friends (including Cass) to avenge Sam 5.04

• Dean prevented the endverse future simply by reconnecting with Sam 5.04

• “We’re all we’ve got. More than that, we keep each other human.” -Dean to Sam 5.04

• “The relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent.” -Dr. Fuller to Dean 5.11

• Sam and Dean are soulmates with a shared heaven 5.16

• “Sam and Dean are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other” -Zachariah 5.18

• Dean decided against saying yes to Michael because he didn’t want to let Sam down 5.18

• Dean prioritized helping Sam over Adam in the beautiful room and it led to Michael taking Adam as his vessel 5.18

• Dean was ready to die with Sam/let Lucifer beat him to death if Sam couldn’t regain control of his body 5.22

• Sam’s love for Dean gave him the strength to overcome Lucifer 5.22

• “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back.” -Chuck voiceover 5.22

• Having a normal apple-pie life means nothing to Dean if Sam isn’t alive to be part of it. -> “I wanted my brother! Alive!” -Dean / “Had I shown up, Dean, you would have just run off(away from Lisa and Ben).” -Sam 6.01

• “That woman and that kid; I only went to them because you asked me too!” & “I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out.” -Dean to Sam 6.01

• Dean chose hunting full-time with Sam over staying with Lisa and Ben 6.02

• “The minute Sam walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I’ve ever seen.” -Lisa about Dean and Sam 6.06

• “Mallory to your Micky” -Veritas to Sam about Dean 6.06

• Dean died to make a deal with Death to save Sam’s soul from the cage and in doing so chose Sam over Adam 6.11

• Sam took on his cage memories so Dean wouldn’t be left alone 6.22

• Dean became Sam’s stone number 1 when he was having trouble telling what was real 7.02

• Sam and Dean each quickly recognized each others leviathan doppelgängers 7.06

• Sam’s grief over losing Dean is paralleled to Amelia’s grief over losing her husband, both believe their loved one is dead, both get their loved one back. s8 Flashbacks

• “Is it just me or are you getting a workplace-romance vibe from those two?” -Michael & “Dude, they just sat and talked about how they have been apart for a year. You were probably right about that whole office-romance thing.” -Brian about Sam and Dean 8.04

• Sam chooses Dean over Amelia 8.10

• Dean chooses to take on the 3 trials mainly because he doesn’t want Sam to do it and risk his life, he wants Sam to reap the benefits of a demon free world 8.14

• Dean’s perfect ending is simply for Sam to get out of hunting and lead a normal apple-pie life till he’s old and grey 8.14

• “Cass, you got your ears on? Listen, you know I am not one for praying, 'cause in my book it's... it's the same as begging. But this is about Sam, so I need you to hear me.” -Dean 8.16

• Dean killed Benny so Sam could be saved from Purgatory 8.19

• “You two fight like an old married couple.” Charlie to Sam & Dean 8.20

• Dean chose a world with demons over a demon-free world without Sam 8.23

• “You know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It’s how many times I’ve let you down. I can’t do that again.” -Sam to Dean 8.23

• “Don’t you dare think that there’s anything past or present that I would put in front of you.” -Dean to Sam 8.23

• Dean violated Sam’s trust and autonomy via tricking him into an Angel possession to save his life 9.01

• “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you!” -Dean to Sam 9.01

• Dean kicked human!Cass -who was being hunted by angels- out of the bunker rendering him homeless so his mere presence wouldn’t drive away the Angel keeping Sam alive 9.03

• Young!Dean gave up a chance at a normal life so he could continue being there for Sam 9.07

• Dean gave Crowley permission to use one of the brothers’ code words to warn Sam about Gadreel 9.10

• Dean didn’t regret letting an Angel into Sam, even though it had resulted in Kevin being killed 9.13

• Sam could break through the MOC hold on Dean like Collette was able to do for Cain 9.16/9.21/10.23

• “You’re lying to Sam like he’s your wife.” - Crowley 9.17

• Sam tricked a man into selling his soul so he could torture the demon for info on where demon!Dean was 10.02/10.03

• “Right now I’m doing all I can not to come over there and rip your throat out…with my teeth.” -Demon!Dean to Sam 10.02

• “What did Sam say? He wanna divorce?” -Dean 10.03

• “I tried to kill him, Cass.” -Dean “It would take a lot more than trying to kill your brother with a hammer to make Sam want to walk away.” -Cass 10.03

• “Homosexual murderers!” -Bev “Like Leopold and Loeb!” -Hetty 10.06

• “Then would come the murder you'd never survive, the one that would finally turn you into as much of a savage as it did me. Your brother, Sam.” -Cain to Dean 10.14

• Sam was willing to bleed himself to death to unlock the Werther Box to get the codex so a cure for Dean could be found in the Book of the Damned 10.19

• Death wanted Sam to be killed because he knew Sam would never stop looking for a way to free Dean from the MOC regardless of the consequences 10.23

• Sam was willing to let Dean kill him so Death would send Dean somewhere he wouldn’t be a danger to anyone due to the MOC 10.23

• Dean killed Death because he couldn’t go through with killing Sam and Death had threatened to do it if he couldn’t 10.23

• Sam’s efforts to get the MOC off Dean result in the Darkness being released 10.23

• “I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it to save you. And I’d do it again, in a second I’d do it again.” -Sam to Dean 11.01

• Dean: “Where’s Sam?” Crowley: “Don’t worry about Sam.” Dean: “I’m sorry; have you met me?” 11.10

• Dean chose comforting/looking after Sam over helping Cass fight Lucifer in the cage 11.10

• Dean saw a manifestation of dead!Sam(part of his soul in distress) in the soul-eater’s nest 11.16

• Dean killed himself so he could bargain with a reaper to bring Sam back from the dead 11.17

• Because Dean thought Sam was dead, he was ready to let himself (and the couple they were trying to save) be killed by the werewolf pack they’d been hunting 11.17

• Michelle: “I just watched the man I love die; there’s no normal after that.” Dean: *thinking about how he’s just experienced the same thing with Sam except with a different outcome* 11.17

• “You fight like brothers; you’re almost as bad as [me and Sam].” -Dean “Actually, it’s more like an old married couple.” -Caesar 11.19

• Sam got infected by the Darkness fog and Dean abandoned the people they were trying to protect and instead tried to infect himself so he could die with Sam 11.20

• Dean used his relationship with Sam to relate to Amara and get her to reconcile with Chuck 11.23

• Amara in 11.09: *kisses Dean* -> Dean in 11.23 to Amara: “You simply need your brother. I mean, hell, maybe that’s why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn’t really want me…cuz I’m not him.”

• Sam and Mary: *trapped in Asa’s house by a demon* -> Dean: *stuck outside* “Sam! Sammy! Hey!” *after breaking in* “Where’s my brother?” 12.06

• “We’re like the American Oasis.” -Dean comparing himself & Sam to Liam & Noel Gallagher 12.07

• Sam and Dean were each willing to die so the other could escape the federal prison and live on 12.09

• “You know, sometimes me and Sam have got so much going on that…we forget about everyone else.” -Dean to Cass 12.23

• Dean began to warm up to Jack because he saved Sam’s life 13.04

• Sam and Dean were unfazed by being stuck in the Bad Place because they had each other 13.10

• “I don’t care what happens to me. I never really have. But I do care about what happens to my brother.” -Dean 13.20

• “And if we die? We’ll do that together too.” -Sam to Dean 13.20

• Dean went mute after Sam was killed and later set off on a suicide mission to retrieve Sam’s body or die trying 13.21

• Dean said yes to AU!Michael to save Sam from Lucifer 13.23

• Dean knows Bert and Ernie are gay 5.03 and suggests he and Sam dress as them for Halloween 14.04

• Though Dean was unable to take back control or cast Michael out, his resistance due to his attachment to Sam made him enough of a nuisance to Michael that he willingly let Dean go(temporarily) 14.09

• Sam was able to figure out where Michael had Dean trapped in his mind via knowing how Dean could be best subdued/distracted 14.10

• Sam broke through Michael’s hold on Dean with just one word: “Poughkeepsie” 14.10

• Sam was the only one who could talk Dean out of locking himself in the Ma’lak box with Michael for all eternity at the bottom of the ocean 14.12

• The thought of letting Dean down broke Sam free of Chip Harrington’s mind control 14.15

• “We have lost way, way too much. And it’s hard not to feel like just… cashing out. I felt like that. After Chuck, back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back? You did. By sayin’ that what we do still matters.” -Dean to Sam 15.04

• Dean was willing to abandon Cass in Purgatory, so he could get back home before the portal closed and save Sam from Chuck (that’s the only reason he sent up that prayer to Cass) 15.09

• Dean was willing to sacrifice Jack so he and Sam could have a life free of Chuck’s influence/control 15.17

• Dean was willing to trade everyone(who’d be collateral damage if Billie became the new god) except Sam for a shot at getting rid of Chuck 15.17

• Sam broke through Dean’s desperation to be rid of Chuck no matter what the cost, thwarting not just Billie’s plan but also Chuck’s brother-kills-brother endgame 15.17

• Dean stood outside Sam’s Stanford dorm for hours because he was so afraid of Sam possibly rejecting him, he didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t have Sam 15.20

• “It’s always been you… and me.” “I love you so much..my baby brother.” -Dean to Sam 15.20

• Dean wouldn’t let go till Sam told him it was ok, he wanted to be sure Sam would be ok without him 15.20

• Sam spent the rest of his life mourning Dean and honoring his memory, named his son after him 15.20

• Dean’s heaven was not perfect till Sam got there 15.20

[thatshadowgastwhore]

Why demigods have certain powers: a theory (long post)

I have this theory that the reason demigods have specific strengths, or display one aspect of their parents powers over others is due in large part to what aspect their godly parent visited their mortal parent in AND how their mortal parent perceived them. TLDR at the end. Idk if this is a common theory, but I’ve never seen it written out before.

Half of this is pretty much so canon, in the way we know that Greek vs Roman demigods are different because they aren’t the same exact gods. The best example of this is Nico vs Hazel, where Nico is a child of Hades, who is the god if the Dead where Hazel is a child of Pluto, the god of the Underworld and Wealth. This affects their powers. We will come back to them.

However, we also know that demigods don’t necessarily inherit all of their parents dominions. For example, Will, Kayla, and Austin are all children of Apollo, but each have very different specialties. Will has power over healing and light, Kayla over archery, and Austin over music. Apollo is god of all three, but they all have very defined areas of interest and talent.

I think what powers come to a demigod naturally will be determined by their mortal parent, not their godly parent. The best example of this is Hazel.

Marie Levesque very specifically summoned Pluto because he was a god of wealth. It’s how she perceived him, not as a god of the underworld, the dead, or shadows, but as a god if riches and jewels. This explains why Hazel’s abilities are focused on riches. (I’m aware Pluto grants Marie a wish, and that part of that is that Hazels jewels are all cursed. However. Even after they stop being cursed (kind of) at the end of SoN she doesn’t lose the ability to summon them. SHE is the gift Pluto granted Marie, not the gems themselves) This doesn’t mean that she can’t access other abilities associated with children of Pluto/Hades, as is obvious in HoH when she assists Nico in shadow traveling everyone out of the House of Hades, or that the dead don’t sense her as a child of the Underworld and defer to her, like the Leres at CJ, but that isn’t how her powers naturally manifest.

Sticking with Hades, Nico (and Bianca) are a good comparison: they have (kind of) the same father as Hazel, but their abilities are very different. Looking at Maria, we don’t know too much, but I am going to assume something based on the fact that she’s from Italy in the 30s and her name is Maria: she was probably Catholic. Now, as someone who was raised Catholic, I feel qualified to say that Catholics are, while not as a whole superstitious, they are quite obsessed with death. Not in a Rapture sort of way the way some denominations are but more in a…they care A LOT about the Saints and Heaven and judgement, and because of that they’re more than willing to accept things happening because of intercession of a Saint or a dead loved one guiding them. I am not Italian in the 30s, so I can’t speak to that. But because of that, and the fact we KNOW that Maria knew the father of her children was Hades, Lord of the Dead (he offered to keep her safe in the Underworld, she knew about the prophecy, she knew Zeus wanted her dead) we can see how these things about her are reflected in her children.

Nico is known as the Ghost King, because his powers mostly manifest in his ability to summon and control the dead. He also has powers related to shadows, but he really has to practice to get good at it and not pass out. Affecting the dead is the first thing we see him do as a Hades power (dismissing the skeletons attacking Percy at the end of TC, and again all through BotL with Minos) before we ever see him shadow travel, which isn’t introduced until tLO, two books after his introduction. While Bianca’s page time is limited, the only real Hades power we see her demonstrate is when she destroys the skeleton. Maria saw Hades as the king of the dead more than any of his other powers. She obviously RECOGNIZED he had dominion over darkness and shadows (she says so when she tells him she won’t raise her children in the darkness of the Underworld) but that isn’t the part of him that she sees and values and fell in love with. She had kids with the god of the dead, so her children primarily manifest their powers over that domain. I also think that the fact she knew she was dating a god made her children more powerful, if that makes sense. Nico and Hazel are some of the most powerful demigods in the series, even apart from being big three kids.

But Mags, Mags! I hear you cry, what about kids like Annabeth? Athena kids don’t have obvious powers, how is that relevant here?

There aren’t a ton of good comparisons for Annabeth to see how her abilities compare to her siblings besides maybe Malcolm. However, I’ll do my best.

Annabeth’s power from Athena is her intellect and her cunning. Let’s look at how Athena and Fred met: Annabeth tells us that without Athena’s help, he wouldn’t have graduated his doctoral program. So when Fred met, we can assume he met Athena in her aspect of being a scholar. We know is that this is not Athena’s only mythic role, she is also a strategist and a patroness of useful crafts like weaving among other things.

I believe that Annabeth’s intellect really does manifest more as a scholar than anything else. For example, she has no formal schooling between the ages of 7 and 12, when she is at camp full time. Those are some formative years when a child creates a foundation for their future learning, and Annabeth has ADHD and dyslexia. School should not be a walk in the park for her. And yet, she doesn’t really struggle to reenter school, and she’s constantly referenced as doing essentially independent studying, whether it’s reading books in Ancient Greek or working on Daedalus’s laptop. Studying and researching is her hobby because it comes incredibly naturally to her, which matches up with how Fred would have seen Athena. And yes, we see her weave to get across the cavern in MoA, but that’s kind of a one off. Annabeth herself realizes in the moment that, “oh yeah, Athena’s the goddess of useful crafts,” like it’s never occurred to her to even attempt such a thing before. The only time we see her bring this talent back is at the beginning of BoO when Jason is stabbed (iirc - I could be wrong on this reference. I didn’t open a single book to write this essay)

Comparing that to Malcolm, we don’t know a ton about his powers or his parent. All I can recall is a single short story in which Athena sends him a dream requesting he reinstate a festival of hers, and he leads the Athena cabin in setting everything up, and I think weaves the Athena Parthenos a cool robe? Fact check me here, that’s as memory serves.

So why wouldn’t Athena ask Annabeth to do that? She’s the one who found the statue after all. I’m willing to bet it’s because whomever Malcolm’s father is, he met Athena in her aspect as a craftswoman. The skills that Malcolm inherited are primarily to do with crafting because of his mortal parent.

You can also see why some aspects of gods aren’t really seen in their children. For example, Dionysus is a god of wine but also notably mania. Of his two children we see + the one child of Bacchus we see, (Castor, Pollux, and Dakota) all three only have affinities towards the former. (There are vague allusions to the twins assisting the Demeter cabin with the strawberries because fruit bearing plants do well with them, although grapes are best, and Dakota has his kool aid addiction) but none ever display an ability to induce mania. Dionysus does, in TC when Percy Iris Messages him, but his kids don’t. Why? I’m willing to bet that less people are attracted to the manic aspect of Dionysus than the party side, especially because it requires wanting to make a baby with the guy. Not everyone, I’m sure at some point there’s been a Dionysus demigod who could, but it’s be rarer.

So what about Percy? He has like ALL his dad’s powers. Eh - kind of? Walk with me here:

We know quite a bit about Sally and Poseidons relationship, that they were together for an entire summer, that they met at Montauk, and that Sally knew she was dating the King of the Ocean. (Poseidon also offers her a palace under the sea to keep her safe from Zeus. Now he’s 2/2 on having his brothers offering to keep their lovers safe from him and thus revealing their identities to them and making their kids even more powerful)

We know that she associates Poseidon with the sea very strongly, but more so that she thinks he is powerful but GENTLE. I posit that because of that, it explains why water is healing to Percy. Zeus kids don’t get magically better when they stick a finger in an outlet. Demeter kids aren’t healed by plants. This is kind of unique to Percy and I think it’s because of Sally and Poseidon’s relationship. I would also assume that at some point, Poseidon showed her that he could communicate with sea life and horses, and those then became part of her idea of him, which is why water, equestrians, and fish are the parts of Percy’s power that comes most naturally.

You know what Poseidon’s the god of that isn’t in Percy’s primary powered? Earthquakes. He’s done it once: Mt St Helen’s in BotL and he did so while he was actively dying and the mountain was already erupting a little bit, he just made it worse. But he’s never actively tried to do so. It feels kind of like Hazels shadow travel: he probably could, with a lot of effort and maybe some help because his dad IS Poseidon, but it’s not his thing.

It’s also why he can kind of mess with ice. The only real time we see him do so is in SoN when he collapses the glacier CJ in Alaska, but for the most part, if water isn’t in its liquid form, he doesn’t really mess with it. No steam either. He probably COULD, but Sally met Poseidon by an ocean, so that’s their basis.

The poison in HoH reads similar to the earthquake. He probably could control any water based liquid but it would take more effort and he doesn’t want to. For what it’s worth, yes, Percy could blood bend, easier than he could poison bend because blood is salt water. But he won’t. Because it disturbed him.

Moving on.

Mags! That’s all well and good, but what about Thalia and Jason? Don’t they kind of disprove your theory? They have the exact same mortal parent, why do they have such different powers?

Well, for what it’s worth, they DON’T have the exact same parents. Zeus and Jupiter are not the same god. So they’re technically half siblings through Beryl. Swerve. But I see your point - if I’m suggesting that the powers one inherits from their godly parent are determined by one’s mortal parent, then Thalia and Jason should be basically the same.

Well, they are pretty similar, all things considered, but a key part of that is what there really is to inherit from their godly parent. This gets more into classical theory that I am not an expert in, but from my understanding: you can generally state that of the two, Zeus was more impulsive and wrathful and might smite you for anything, and Jupiter filled the father/king of the gods role more. And we already agreed at the bringing with Nico and Hazel that Roman and Greek gods aren’t the same.

And. When we’re looking at the relationship between Beryl and Zeus, it’s a wild starlet having a wild fling, she has no children, she parties, she’s here and there and everywhere, she can’t be tied down. And it’s implied that she knew he was a god, because being able to catch the attention of Zeus apparently made her go off the deep end when he left. And she wanted very badly to see Olympus but Zeus refused (with good reason. The reason being Hera) Thus, Thalia’s powers pick from the ones matching those traits. She’s got power over lightning, but not necessarily the sky. She probably could fly if she ever tried. And also: she doesn’t have to ask permission to call down lightning. She just does. She makes her own lightning.

Jason on the other hand, is the result of Beryl and Jupiter. The relationship was a smidge more stable. Beryl was calmer when Jupiter was around and Jupiter presented himself to her in a more…grand? aspect. It makes sense then that Jason can fly but he’s not really a lightning guy. Like. Yes. He caaaan, but pretty much so any time it counts there’s a mention that he like, petitions his dad to let him summon a bolt. But he controls the winds with ease, because Jupiter is a king, and that’s how he presented himself to Beryl.

Which brings me to a straight up theory I have about May Castellan. I think that she was either a politician or a political correspondent. Someone who was on the news a lot, someone with a sharp tongue, an excellent debtor, and an orator extraordinaire. All we know about her in canon is that she had Luke, and she was special enough to Hermes that he continued to visit her after Luke was born, and that he told her about the Oracle, and how that turned out.

Hermes is the god of a metric ton of stuff. Thieves, travelers, tricksters, merchants, athletes, gymnasiums, orators, communication, gambling, the list goes on. A lot of his kids are described as speedy: their mortal parents probably caught his eye due to being athletes. We know Luke to be very charismatic and the best swordsman the camp had seen in years. I think that indicates that May attracted Hermes as someone with a sharp wit, who could verbally spar anyone into submission (unless she was legit into swordplay) and she caught peoples attention and could convince them of anything. It also explains why she’d have been so insistent on becoming Oracle, besides being clear sighted. If she was an elected official or a media correspondent, it would suggest an interest in conveying messages, and being the voice for others, like being the voice of Delphi.

But Mags, that’s all well and good but Will’s mom is a musician. Why is his only gift on that front that horrible dog whistle?

Eh…? This one is tricky, however, it might be that she attracted Apollo because of her music, but he attracted her because he exudes warmth and light, thus her child gained healing and light powers and not music. It’s a weaker explanation. Sorry.

There is one other very notable exception to this theory, and I do have an answer to that. Leo’s fire ability had very little to do with Esperanza, and everything to do with the prophecy.

I think that Leo was fated to have power over fire, as the fire in “to storm or fire the world must fall.” That being said, I don’t think Leo’s crafting skills were fated. Those I feel were passed down from Hephaestus through Esperanza’s association with engineering and crafting with him, but the fire wasn’t. The fates wove that power in.

TLDR: Which powers a demigod inherits from their godly parent isn’t random, it’s determined by how their mortal parent perceived the god and their domains.

[srslylini]

okay in all honesty Sevika's character is so interesting and one of the things I loved the most about season 2 is watching her.

We see her character as soon as act 1 in season 1 and we also know that she used to be loyal to Vander, but because she is a character who rightfully wants to fight she sees Vander as someone who she can't continue to be loyal to

"Vander had his chance"

she hands the people she follows/gives her loyalty to chances. We see it time and time again with Silco. We see her loyalty waver but we also see it strengthen. She is extremely smart and cunning. She knew immediately what kind of powerplay Finn wanted to start and played along with it, so he wouldn't catch on (letting him light her cigar, dusting of his place before he sits down during that scene with Silco where Finn then gets killed)

But she also made a display infront of Silco to show him her patience is running thin. One of the reasons she went along with Finn is to show Silco that, while Finn isn't the one, there is always others. This also shows how damn respected she actually is, like lets imagine basically any other character having such a severe power play with Silco, she knew that he knew that there was a possibility she could kill him.

Her patience for Silco is also mostly running thin because of Jinx. Not because she genuinely just hates Jinx but more so because Jinx is in fact a disaster (sorry sorry) and DOES get in between her missions. And well Silco basically shrugs and goes your fault have fun cleaning that mess up. If we go and only take season 1 it's actually easy to think that Sevika really dislikes Jinx but with context from season 2 I just don't think that was the case and it was moreso frustration.

and now Silco is dead and she has placed her hope in him and his nation of Zaun. That talk with Jinx in season 2 is genuinely one of the best, if not the best, scenes out of that season. Her and Jinx begrudgingly get closer. She is still loyal to Zaun and well they don't give up their people and Jinx is one of them.

As early as act one she is shown to literally be ready to jump to death if necessary to be of use and like??? they utilized her character perfectly in season 2 before they decided to write her out of act 2 for what ever reason (still salty about that)

Their little found family coming because Sevika is admirably loyal and extremely smart but also just unwilling to relent to anyone and still always the fighter is the best the writers could have done.

edit: lol dumb thing to forget, genuinely I'm tired but the continuity of her gambling addiction and it also being a thing Jinx and her bond over in season 2 because Jinx gifted her a gambling arm was genuinely peak writing. Also there is something to be said how she also gambles with the lives of others (Silco in that scene, cause he HAD no idea if he would survive "where you tempted" "not for a worm like him but there will be others" like OKAY DAMN) and how she ALSO uses her own experiences to guide others, sometimes subtle, sometimes not so much.

just in general, I appreciate her character so much and I hope they don't disappoint in act 3

[asongofstarkandtargaryen]

There are some heavy anti parallels between Daenerys Targaryen and Joffrey Baratheon/Cersei Lannister as monarchs in the way they treat Ser Barristan Selmy.

Joffrey dismisses Barristan Selmy from the Kingsguard because he needed someone to blame for his father's (Robert's) death. Of course, Joffrey is in reality his mother's puppet King, who considers dismissing Ser Barristan Selmy a great decision, as it would clear the way for Jaime to become the commander of the Kingsguard and give his a seat on the Small Council ( and Lannisters are all for nepotism in the way they run things). Plus, with Ser Barristan Selmy gone, Joffrey could make his personal guard Sandor, a member of the Kingsguard, something that Cersei also considered a winning situation.

Cersei sighed. "Joff wanted someone to blame for Robert's death. Varys suggested Ser Barristan. Why not? It gave Jaime command of the Kingsguard and a seat on the small council, and allowed Joff to throw a bone to his dog. He is very fond of Sandor Clegane. We were prepared to offer Selmy some land and a towerhouse, more than the useless old fool deserved."

Tyrion I, ACOK

The above passage not only reveals that Joffrey is his mother's puppet King but also that Cersei isn't the most clever person when it comes to ruling. Not only she fell for Varys' plan but she is also a very bad judge of other people. She considers Barristan Selmy an "useless old fool" when he's a great fighter and an asset due to his experience and strength for any ruler to have by their side. She also considers a great exchange to have Sandor in Barristan Selmy's place and we saw how that worked for the Lannisters at the end of ACOK.

Another passage on this specific incident that shows Cersei's myopic way of thinking:

"Ser Barristan was the Lord Commander of Robert Baratheon's Kingsguard," Tyrion reminded her pointedly. "He and Jaime are the only survivors of Aerys Targaryen's seven. The smallfolk talk of him in the same way they talk of Serwyn of the Mirror Shield and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight. What do you imagine they'll think when they see Barristan the Bold riding beside Robb Stark or Stannis Baratheon?"

Cersei glanced away. "I had not considered that.

Tyrion I, ACOK

Let's compare it with Daenerys, who finds out that Ser Barristan Selmy was lying to her about his identity. What is more, she realises that the man she trusted as her advisor was serving Robert Baratheon for years. Ser Jorah, in a move that closely reflects Varys' manipulation of Cersei/Joffrey, offers to kill Barristan Selmy for Daenerys. But Dany, needs to first listen Barristan's story before she decides what she'll do with him:

"Why are you here?" Dany demanded of him. "If Robert sent you to kill me, why did you save my life?" He served the Usurper. He betrayed Rhaegar's memory, and abandoned Viserys to live and die in exile. Yet if he wanted me dead, he need only have stood aside . . . "I want the whole truth now, on your honor as a knight. Are you the Usurper's man, or mine?"

"Yours, if you will have me." Ser Barristan had tears in his eyes. "I took Robert's pardon, aye. I served him in Kingsguard and council. Served with the Kingslayer and others near as bad, who soiled the white cloak I wore. Nothing will excuse that. I might be serving in King's Landing still if the vile boy upon the Iron Throne had not cast me aside, it shames me to admit. But when he took the cloak that the White Bull had draped about my shoulders, and sent men to kill me that selfsame day, it was as though he'd ripped a caul off my eyes. That was when I knew I must find my true king, and die in his service—"

"I can grant that wish," Ser Jorah said darkly.

"Quiet," said Dany. "I'll hear him out."

Daenerys V, ASOS

Daenerys, unlike Cersei, won't allow any advisor of hers to cloud her judgement. She knew beforehand that Ser Jorah was antagonistic towards Ser Barristan so even if she doesn't fully know the reason yet ( the revelation that Jorah was a traitor happens right after that passage) she won't allow him to interfere while she gets Barristan's confession.

Of course, after she finds out that not only one but two close advisors of hers have betrayed her she has a strong reaction. It's only natural for her to do so. And yet, despite that antis always accuse her of being merciless, she shows mercy while dealing with them. Another ruler would execute them both for treason and no one would bat an eye. In fact, everyone would say that their action was justified while treating with two traitors. But Dany admits on her inner monologue that she can't do that:

Go, go away forever, both of you, the next time I see your faces I'll have your traitors' heads off. She could not say the words, though. They betrayed me. But they saved me. But they lied. "You go . . ." My bear, my fierce strong bear, what will I do without him? And the old man, my brother's friend. "You go . . . go . . ." Where?

And then she knew.

Daenerys V, ASOS

When they both return successful from their mission to help the capturing of the city of Mereen, it's time for her to decide what she'll do with each of them.

Even while she has every right to be angry with them - and she is- she is still fair towards them and admits twice that they helped her to win Mereen.

Before she makes her decision, she opts to listen to Barristan's story once again, to understand better the reasons why he acted the way he did. It's a good move for a leader because someone who leads needs to know all the facts in order to make a fair judgement on someone. And that's what Dany does.

Barristan doesn't sugarcoat his opinion. He tells her that he considered Robert a good man and that's why he followed him instead of Viserys who he thought to be unfit to rule. He even tells Dany that he lied about his identity because he wanted to make sure she was - unlike her father and brother Viserys- fit to rule before he pledged his sword to her.

Once again, another ruler would be offended by the knight's words. He insulted her dead relatives by calling them unworthy to rule,which are true facts but how many rulers or even mere noble do you know besides Dany that would accept hard truths about their families? And then he proceed to tell her that he didn't automatically choose to follow her because she's the rightful ruler - remember both Dany and Barristan live in a world where they believe in ruling by birthright- but first he had to test her abilities to rule. And Dany was okay with that! How many rulers or again mere nobles do you know that would be okay with someone questioning their birthright and telling them that they need to prove their worth before they claim it? I really believe that as a fandom we don't give Dany the recognition she deserves for being more humble than most while dealing with these subjects.

Daenerys decides to allow Ser Barristan Selmy to remain by her side and that shows her political genius - which again is hardly recognised in the asoiaf fandom. She set aside her hurt pride by the knight's words and saw the bigger picture: someone who decided to follow her not simply because of her birthright but because he considers her a component leader is gonna be forever loyal to her. And Barristan Selmy is an asset for a ruler to have by their side, something that Tyrion had pointed out on his own chapter while he was dealing with the knight's dismissal by his nephew/sister.

And Dany made the right decision because we can see how much loyal Ser Barristan is to her on the fifth book of the series. He remains loyal to her even after Dany goes missing towards to the end of the book.

[invisible-pink-toast]

yellowjackets season 3 teaser let's fucking goooo lesbians!!

rip coach ben i mean we knew it was coming but i truly don't think he will survive this season

lottie's still wearing laura lee's dress 😭

also girl just can't catch a break. still - is this an attack? is it a ritual? is it a sex thing? with this show who knows? (probably an attack)

so who is the attacker? maybe travis, who has every reason to go ballistic. still, trav and lottie were on good terms last we saw them, in fact lottie was the only one to not be a part of hunting javi. guess we'll have to wait and see.

we are getting WINTER this season! they've got sharpened spears, they've got fur pelts! the hunts are coming

who are these two? i talked in my flash forward analysis that the girl in the pink hood is shauna (which i still stand by). except that is further on in the story... this could be someone else wearing that outfit here.

also what's up with the masks they're wearing? is this more ritualism or just part of staying warm?

speaking of shauna! here she is! screaming.

this seems more like the primal scream she gave when she was beating lottie then the more devastated one's after jackie and the baby's deaths. is this during or after a hunt?

shauna appears twice!

and she's wearing jackie's shirt 😭 she and lottie will not let go of their dead girlfriends.

here she seems more confused/afraid. she's not ready for a hunt, she's pulling the knife out in reaction to something. maybe whoever is choking lottie?

and just in case you were thinking everything was gonna be fine, here's the blood covered knife!

get ready for valentine's day ❤️

[cryptid-killjoy]

Everything was going wild. Everything seemed fun and pretty typical until they couldn't decide if they should try and cover up the body or not. The Laveaus weren't the types to let a little crash and burn disrupt their fun. It was all part of it. Anywhere else they understood the usual rules though. They knew the aftermath murder code. Autopilot had a way of taking over. Still, if they could get away with not doing things the methodical way they'd take the out.

Scout was focused on her phone waiting her dad's answer out. Grinding someone down and eating them up was a messy and time consuming task. If they could get out of it they'd like to know for sure. Logic was telling them maybe in Feral where rules were lax it might just be okay to not go through the usual precautions. They also didn't want to do anything wrong and upset their hosts either. They just weren't used to the Feral rules, if there were any.

While all these converstions were going on between Koda, Chip, and Dale, and Jetsam not giving two shits all hovered over the stranger digging one of their eyes right out of it's sockets. Old habits died hard. He might have been dead but he noticed they were a cool color and couldn't help but want to harvest them as if he might add them to the collection he didn't have anymore. Maybe he'd start a new one?

"Weenie-balls." He was laughing. "That's the name of my new collection. I'll get a new set every Halloween. Keep 'em at your place, Chipper."

Scout broke in, "I can do it. I can keep them for you, Dad." She was trying so hard to be a part of it still wanting to be a part of his life as she watched Jet shove the wet thing into Chip's hand.

Then there was Koda who was trying to hold up under Chip's arm since he'd just been through a wreck. Chip was also still in slow-mode. Zombie-ish mode. His reflexes weren't back. He was looking at Scout like he wanted to respond but nothing was coming out. Jetsam took his silence as a yes because his hand held onto the eyeball unable to do much more quite yet.

Then there was GoGo. She came in and Dale was gazing at the sky when she came in out of nowhere and Smack!

Incoming.

Thack!

"Hey?!"

GoGo went off. She was practically barking at him. She kept going.

Dale's sore arms went up trying to protect himself but it was too late. She'd already hit him before he managed to sheild himself at all. A bloody third WOMP.

"Damn it!" Dale's body rolled and cringed away ready to jump up and ... and do... do something... he wasn't sure what... stop her he supposed but she stopped herself as he managed to roll over onto his side.

Scout stared at her as Dale managed to push himself off the ground holding his ribs, covered in the dismembered arm's splattered blood, and got his feet. It happened so fast. It had every hair on the back of her neck standing straight up. Then GoGo even yelled it out. Something about loss. It was bone chilling.

Once Dale was on his feet he limped over, red faced, wide eyed.

Dale's initial reaction was anger. Pain and anger.

Then he saw her face.

Okay, maybe he was still angry, but fuck. Then he just pushed through the pain, stormed through it actually. He hadn't wanted to move at all. The adrenaline had made him jump up and next when he saw her face, he rushed forward and forced a hug on her.

"Fuck you. Are you trying to finish me off, GoGo?"

Damn, the hug hurt. Yelling hurt. Breathing hurt. He didn't care. He squeezed her in.

"Fuck you so hard."

He groaned over her shoulder, "You push me away. I'll squeeze harder. So fuck right off. I'm staying here."

All Scout could see was the fragility of human life, something she wasn't anymore. It was scarier than it used to be. It was the sort of subject she never thought about until her family fell apart. They used to feel so indestructible. Thomas built it back up so strong. She wasn't sure what this feeling was watching her brother and GoGo. Next to them was her zombie bit brother touched by death who caused the crash. Next to them was her actually dead parental who she'd been dying to see for years now, missing him, and conflicted feelings were still stirring. She watched him not pay attention fully focused on gouging out that second retina from the socket.

Before she could get much deeper in those thoughts her phone went off and Thomas's text came in. It shook her back to the present.

"Okay guys. Dad says it's not a big deal to just dump it here. GoGo's probably right. We can just blame it on a zombie. Looks like we don't have to take the time out for disposal here. We're good guys." She said taking the lead on the situation which under normal circumstances would have been a much bigger situation had they been anywhere else.

Jetsam stood up with his second eyeball in his hand grinning, "Told ya guys. Fuck it all." Then he kicked the corpse's eyeball-less head.

She saw Koda looking behind him and she gave him a little peace sign with her fingers, bursting the bubble with her tongue. She watched her own rearview mirror and playfully moved to swerve next to the VW, her open window meaning that she could reach across and ruffle Dale’s curls.

After that, GoGo sped on ahead, feeling her groove the same way that Kuzco did when he had a guitar in hand, the same way that Valerie did with a microphone, the same way that Delta did when she had her wings out, the same way Frank did as he kicked at a suspended reporter, making his body sway on the hooks while he read.

GoGo had been a girl who fell in love with cars, a real engine geek, and didn’t have much love left over for people. Not even her family. Once it was clear that they weren’t going to understand her, that they were going to try to dictate her life as if she was anyone else, she had given up on them. They became roommates. They didn’t do family dinners, or going out together, or even celebrations of birthdays.

It had taken a while for the Laveaus to permeate through that. It wasn’t even as if Go-Go had big walls up, the way that Elsa did, trying to protect herself or thinking that she was protecting others. She just hadn’t even realized that there was a door that they could even knock on. But it had opened and - now, she couldn’t imagine a world without them, the same way she couldn’t imagine a world without cars.

Loud music coming out of stereos, the noises blending together during the split seconds that they were near one another. Her eyes would dart over to see who it was, and would make faces over at Scout if it was her, and then would chuckle to herself. Her heart was beating with the engine, almost feeling like they were one. As she went up in speed, plowing through a zombie or two, only flipping on the windshield wipers as her reaction, she thought to herself, ‘This is better than masturbating.’

Unlimited speed. No cops. No sirens. No one telling her to slow down. If someone got in the way, hit them. This is just what the Autobahn must be like.

The sounds of gunshots weren’t even unwelcome. They echoed through the empty streets, with no one looking out windows, or running for cover. They would be heard up from the tower, where Frank and Delta were busy, but weren’t bothering them much either. As long as it wasn’t pointed towards them, or their people, Frank didn’t give a fuck. He was too deep in … well, a fuck.

She would have kept going when Dale was out of the window, but realized a moment or two later when there weren’t any more headlights in her rearview mirrors. Curiously, she turned her own car around and encroached on the scene. She had her own window down and climbed out through her window, exactly like Dale had been sitting when he had been ejected.

It was rough seeing Dale laying on the ground, like a piece of roadkill. It was rough seeing Chip behind the crumpled hood of the car, the windshield broken, pieces of glass. It triggered something in her. She couldn’t move for a moment. It felt like she was underwater. She could just about hear the garbled voice of Dale talking to Scout, and Chip’s eyes being open as Koda got him out of the car.

Tadashi. The outline of him, the silhouette, against the fire as he had run in like he thought that he was fireproof. Like he was immortal. Like he was a goddamn hero. The situations were different but the feelings were the same in that moment, a clenching around her heart and her stomach, a sense of loss. Everyone was, thankfully, preoccupied with the twins and the body and texting while she had her moment or two of panic before she felt like she was able to breathe again.

She wasn’t thinking the clearest though. She climbed off of the car door, walking around the glass-littered ground, the blood-soaked asphalt in her bare feet, and approached Dale, still on the ground. The panic was still in her eyes, the tenseness of her bones, all of it. And what she did was lean down and gave Dale’s head a smack.

“You don’t get to come close to dying, do you hear me?” She said, and then realized that her own little hand was barely going to do anything to Dale’s head, not through those curls anyway. She took a short march towards the dead body, picked up an arm that had been driven over, detatched at the shoulder, and then used that arm to hit Dale again. “You stupid, egg-headed shitpuddle!”

After hitting him a third time with the arm, she threw it down and then ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it out of her face to try to calm herself, taking deep breaths. “I’m not losing another friend,” She said in a quieter tone this time. It was only then that she seemed to realize what she had done. That there was a detatched arm beside her that had been attached to a body only seconds ago. She leaned down and then wiped her hand on Dale’s shirt because she wasn’t going to do it to her own dress.

While this was happening, Scout’s phone would get a text. Thomas was paying attention to his drunk wife, but also to his phone because he had meant what he had said when he offered to pick Ches up, all she had to do was text. Same with Scout, but that went without saying.

‘If Chip doesn’t want to eat it, I’m sure just tossing it into a sewer or something is fine? Just don’t leave a big mess.’

Go-Go was coming down from that short-lived panic attack. It hadn’t gone full blown, just enough for her to go full-throttle rather than her more subdued self. She was a bit embarrassed so decided to gloss over what she had just done rather than address it, and move onto the next topic.

“If anyone asks, zombies did it?”

[jane-morgendorffer]

He’s sixteen years old when his cousin introduces him to the thing that will eventually kill him. His mum, usually overly protective (and in his somewhat expert opinion, absolutely too paranoid for her own good), doesn’t even try to stop him. It’s a good thing she doesn’t, because he’s already caused her a lifetime of stress in that decade-and-a-half he’s been alive so far and it’ll only get worse when she finds out he’s fallen so deeply in love with his own killer that he’ll lie to everyone -her included- for the chance of getting there quicker.

He’s eighteen when he finally gets there. He’s spent the past two years working hard, but it’s not enough to just work hard. He’s also got to be better. Better than the guy behind him. Better than the guy in front of him. Better than himself. It’s brutal. A slow death that kills him with every day he grinds himself into the ground. But he carries on anyway. Because it’s something you either have or you don’t and he’s had it since the moment he was born. He was made for this. Has been since long before he even knew what this was. When his mum calls (which she does every week), he makes sure to tell her about the progress he’s making. How quick he is. How strong he’s getting. She doesn’t understand, always eager to change the subject to something pointless like what he’s going to do on his days off or if he’s eating well, but he thinks she’s proud. Secretly, he doesn’t mind if she isn’t. He loves her anyway and, in return, she doesn’t bring up the worry that has replaced the space he’s left behind.

He’s twenty-one when people finally start to realise what he’s known for years. He’s the youngest candidate to pass selection. An asset to not only his team but his country as well. A man destined for bigger and brighter things. He calls his mum. She says the right things, but the pride doesn’t flow as easily as it used to. Instead, she rattled on about Christmas plans and pointedly avoids the fact that he has achieved something most people could only dream of. He tells her that. Loudly. She says the only dreams she’s having these days are having him come home in a casket. (She apologises straight afterwards. She always does. And it’s easy to accept the apology when she’s there on the other end of the line, but they both know the damage is already done.)

He’s twenty-five when he starts to enjoy it. If he was good at what he did before, he’s godly at it now. Which should be the hubris talking, but he knows it isn’t. It’s not just him. He’d say the same about anyone in the 141. Not just because he loves them, which he does, but because they truly are the best people he’s ever known. It’s twisted, in a way, how easily he finds talking to them while the calls from his mum go unanswered. How easily he’d replaced one family with another. But they understand him in a way no one else ever could. And, yeah, he loves some of them differently (in a thick, cloying way that he’ll need another decade to fully understand) but it’s not more. But he still loves his mum. The same way he loves old films and the memory of his childhood bedroom. He just doesn’t go home for Christmas as much anymore. Though, the more he thinks, the less he’s sure about whose benefit that was really for.

He’s twenty-eight when he’s shot in the head while doing exactly what he was made for. It’s funny, really, in the same way that the lieutenant’s jokes are funny. Which, is to say, not really funny at all. But that’s what he thinks of in that flash of a second between being alive and being dead. The jokes. ‘Hey! What do they call a brilliant sergeant who died in the afterthought of someone else’s fight?’ He doesn’t hear the punchline, but he thinks he might hear his name being called in the distance.

He’s still twenty-eight when three men spread his ashes from his favourite spot. It’s a private affair. Words lost under the weight of what had been and what never would. They don’t invite his mum. She wouldn’t understand their grief anymore than she had all those years ago when his cousin had brought him home with a fire in his eyes.

He’s still twenty-eight when his mum buries the idea of him in their local graveyard. His teammates don’t attend this funeral. Call it same. Call it respect. It doesn’t matter either way. She’s happier without them there. If she knows the casket is empty, she doesn’t show it. It’s better that she doesn’t. It’s a nice ceremony. His favourite flowers at the graveside. His favourite food at the wake. Guests are gentle with her in a way he never was. It’s an honour they say. But she doesn’t understand that any more than she understands why this had to be what he was made for. And maybe that’s better. It’s too late for her to convince him of anything else now anyway.

[maxdibert]

Sirius Black, the firstborn. The aristocrat. The one raised in a disgustingly rich, respected, and feared family. Sirius Black, the rebel without a cause, who forged his identity by opposing the values of that family. The tall guy, so handsome that girls couldn’t even concentrate on their exams. The popular one, the one who had it all. The one who didn’t have to worry about running away from home because the loving parents of his also-rich best friend took him in. Sirius Black, the one at the top, the one who did whatever he wanted to those beneath him. The one who spent seven years torturing a poor half-blood just out of boredom, for fun, because he could.

Sirius Black, who looked at that poor half-blood as a representation of everything he hated, everything that disgusted him. Despising him for wanting to go to his family’s house, for wanting to gain power that he—let’s be honest—had possessed from birth. Sirius Black, constantly laughing at Severus Snape, calling him Snivellus, mocking his appearance, ridiculing his poor, downtrodden look, encouraging him to go somewhere he’d likely end up dead. Sirius Black, convinced he was doing nothing wrong because Severus Snape was a piece of shit who followed the Death Eaters, and hurting him was completely justified.

Sirius Black, the brave one, the one who would’ve given his life for the good cause, the one who was on the right side from the beginning, who always knew where he belonged, who went to war and gave it his all—so much that he ended up in prison.

Sirius Black, who escapes Azkaban only to end up in another prison. The one who, locked in his family home, starts to see things for what they are. The one who is no longer a help but a hindrance. The one who is just a ticking time bomb for a Dumbledore who never gave a damn about his zeal for the fight. Sirius Black, who suddenly finds himself facing that same half-blood he used to insult, to hit, to hunt down like a predator after its daily meal. There he is, with them. Severus Snape, the Dark Arts freak, the greasy-haired, Malfoy’s lapdog, the one who followed the pureblood supremacists and bears the Dark Mark. The same Severus Snape who was a Death Eater and followed Voldemort, now stands as Dumbledore’s right-hand man.

And Dumbledore trusts him more than anyone. Trusts him so much that, although neither Lupin, Tonks, nor Moody like having him among their ranks, no one dares say a word against him. Only Sirius speaks up, and when he does, everyone scolds him. Because he’s no longer Snivellus; now he’s Snape. He’s a double agent. He’s someone important. He’s a rook, a bishop, a knight, while the others are mere pawns.

Sirius Black wonders why. Why, if he did everything right, if he stood up to his family, if he always defended what was right, he’s now reduced to a broken toy confined to isolation while that piece of shit who did everything wrong is the one who has Dumbledore’s favor. Because Sirius was always one of the good ones, and Severus was one of the bad ones. Because tormenting and mistreating him was justified. But then he realizes it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who’s good or bad in a war; what matters is how useful you are to those who wage them.

And he has become useless, while Severus is a key piece. And that is the best revenge Severus could have had for all the years of abuse he endured: for Sirius to realize, in the last months of his life, that all his efforts to rebel had meant nothing. In a war against power structures, the aristocratic boy never has a place.*

[calypsocolada]

THE MEAN ONE | i. yoichi

synopsis: you're against love, deemed the mean one of the school but someone seems to think differently... authors note: this was such a blast to write. getting the creative juices flowing. I'll attribute that to imogen heap and the fact i listened to the walk by imogen probably fifty times while writing this. anyways this is the final part in my little soccer trio series. i hope you all enjoy! wc: 5.2k cw: angst, fem reader, not proofread click here for my masterlist!

-----------------------------------------

You had a nickname in school. You’d heard it a few times from your friend's boyfriend, a few times in passing, maybe once or twice at a soccer game. The mean one. The mean friend. The mean girl. Mean. Sure… most people might’ve thought an assertive woman was a mean woman. But… to be honest… You were a bit mean. You had to be. For the longest time you’d been ignored. Your parents in and out of the house on work trips. They were busy people. Too busy for their mean little daughter. Not that they caused it or anything by practically treating you like a specter. You never wanted things to be like that at school. You never wanted to be walked all over and ignored. You were tired of feeling like a ghost. So when something was wrong, or your feelings were hurt you didn’t bottle them up like you did back at home. So sure… maybe your words came out a bit sharper than anticipated. Coupled with the fact that a scowl fits better on your face than a smile. 

To be honest it didn’t really bother you much. The people closest to you knew your heart.

What did bother you was a loud mouthed know-it-all ball kicker named Isagi Yoichi that would not or simply could not leave you alone. It was like he was addicted to raising your blood pressure. Addicted to hearing you huff and call him names. Genuinely you were starting to wonder if there was something really truly wrong with him. But also… you didn’t like to think about him too much so you chalked it up to him being an idiot with a death wish. 

“It’s just… you talk about him so passionately. One has to wonder.” Your friend cut in the middle of your Isagi rant. You stopped dead in your tracks, your friend bumping into you. You thought she was a safe person to talk to about him since all your other friends banned you from complaining about him. You turned, a possibly manic look in your eyes as your friend stepped back, amused fear on her face as she bumped into Nagi. He’d been walking silently behind your friend, blushing.They’d gotten together last week and had been inseparable since. To your dismay. You didn’t believe in love, let alone ever felt the feelings associated with crushing on someone. You weren’t sure you were even capable of that. So sure you and your pessimistic self probably weren't the best to be around right now for your friend who was practically glowing. 

“It’s true, Y/n.” Nagi yawned, throwing an arm around your friend. “One has to wonder.”

“Who the hell asked you, sloth?” You hissed, eyes sharp as Nagi pouted. Your friend gave you a look, ruffling Nagi’s hair. 

“Be nice. And if Isagi bugs you so much, stop talking to him.”

“He talks to me!” You threw your hands up dramatically. “He seeks me out!”

“He likes you.” Nagi adds as your eyes cut to his like daggers. He froze under your stare. “Or not?” He shrugged as you gathered yourself. 

“You’re no help.” You pointed at your friend as she blushed, giggling. 

“And you called me dramatic!” She called after you as you halfheartedly waved to her as you walked to your car. You spotted the devil himself pulling his soccer bag out of the back of his car. Your guys' assigned parking spots just happened to be directly next to each other so no matter what you had to see him at least twice a day. And then sometimes you had to go to his practices for student council purposes, to make sure the club was running smoothly and what not.

You fished your key’s from your bag as you approached your car, clicking the button to unlock your doors. Isagi straightened at the sound, glancing over his shoulder as his eyes landed on you. You paid him no mind as you neared your car. 

“Headed home?” He asked casually. You didn’t answer. Just pulled your trunk open and tossed your backpack inside. “Thought you were coming to practice?” He asked.

“I was there yesterday.” You argued then silently cursed yourself for answering.

“You were?” Isagi questioned, tilting his head to the side, black hair falling over his forehead.

“Yes.” You answered shortly, slamming your trunk shut. 

“Must’ve missed you.” He said, gently shutting his own trunk, his eyes glued to your every movement. You met his eyes and wrinkled your brows at him.

“What?” You huffed. A crooked smile fitted to his lips as he leisurely leaned against his trunk. 

“You come to the practices but never the actual games.”

“Why would I come to the games?” You ask as Isagi raises his brows.

“To see me in action.” He says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. You stared at him for a long moment. 

“Why the fuck would I wanna watch you in action?” You ask sharply as Isagi just laughs. There’s this thing about Isagi. No matter how annoyed or short you got with him it was like water off a duck's back. He never returned your anger, never bickered with you or huffed.

“Don’t you wanna see hard work pay off?”

“Your hardwork?” You ask as he nods his head and at that you shake your head. “Nope.”

“Come to a game.” Isagi asks as you shake your head. 

“No thanks.”

“Y/n… come on. Just one?”

“No.” You replied exasperatedly walking around towards the driver seat of your car as Isagi pushes off his car, following you.

“I’ll owe you.” He throws out as you pull your car door open.

“What?”

“I’ll owe you. Whatever you want in exchange for you coming to one of my games.” 

“Why the hell does it matter to you so much?” You hiss, turning around. Isagi looks at a loss for words for a moment.

“One game. That’s all I’m asking for.” He asks and there is this hopeful look in his eyes. You’d never been more confused in your life than this moment. Why did it matter to him if you came? 

“Did someone put you up to this?” You ask incredibly suspicious. Isagi shakes his head.

“No.”

“No?” You echo, your eyes insatiable as they dance across his face, trying and failing to read his expression. 

“No one put me up to anything.”

“Why ask me? We’re not friends. I don’t like you.”

“You don’t like me?” Isagi asks, a small knowing smirk on his lips.

“Isagi,” You cautioned as he scoffed out a laugh.

“It’s just one game. It won’t kill you. Plus I know your friend will be there, supporting Nagi.” Isagi points out as you scrunch up your face. 

“I don’t get you.”

“You don’t need to.” Isagi shrugs. “Just one game.” 

“Will you leave me alone for the rest of the school year if I go and watch you lose?” You ask sort of offhandedly with an exasperated sigh. You found yourself giving in. Isagi looks at you, there’s a strange expression on his face for a moment.

“You want that?” He asks and his voice is almost softlike, almost… hurt? But his expression changed in an instant and you wondered if you’d even heard him right in the first place. He laughed a breathy laugh, cocking his head to the side. “If that’s what you want then sure.” He sounded amused but he wasn’t meeting your eyes.

“Fine. One game.” You say cautiously, your face in a confused scowl.

“I’ll see you Friday night then.” He smirks, pushing off your car, tossing his soccer bag back over his shoulder. You watched him go, watching his wave down Nagi as they stalked off towards the field.

What the fuck just happened?

~

Friday came quickly. The week passed in a blur of cramming for tests and a whirlwind of student council projects. You barely had any time to think about your parking lot moment with Isagi. Him bargaining for you to come to one game. As your friend brushed and fixed her hair your mind wandered. It had tried to wander many times this week but you were able to block it out. Now that it was friday and barely half an hour before the game you couldn’t block it out anymore. You started thinking about Isagi. His motives. Did he want to embarrass you? 

Haha look who showed up to the game just cause I asked her!

Although you had a seemingly one sided dislike of the boy he was never outwardly cruel to you. In fact… you had always been the one starting things. You just… had a hard time believing someone would want to talk to you so goddamn much without a secret motive. As you pondered all this your friend pinched you. You yelped, rubbing your arm as she smirked at you.

“Why the sudden interest in coming to a game?” She asks as you shoot her a sharp look.

“There’s no interest, I’m just coming with you.” You shrugged. There was absolutely no way you were going to tell her about Isagi asking and you actually agreeing. 

“Right… So,” She turns you. “Did you hear about Rin and that new girl?” You couldn’t care less but you just shook your head as she rambled on about Rin Itoshi dating some girl who just moved to town a few months ago.

“Jealous?” You asked as your friend shook her head and smiled softly, a dreamy look in her eyes. She had Nagi, there was nothing for her to be jealous about. 

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” You hummed as you pulled your unruly hair back out of your face.

“Do you like anyone in school?” She asked, walking behind you and helping you braid your hair back out of your face. You scoffed a laugh and she tugged your hair slightly. “Don’t be like that. It’s not as embarrassing as you think it is.” She scolds you as you pout slightly. It was embarrassing. Saying you liked someone felt like a peak into your brain you just weren’t comfortable with letting happen. That and… you didn’t have a crush to mention anyways. 

“I don’t like anyone.” You say after a moment. “I’m the mean one remember.” You tease. Your friend must’ve heard something in your tone as she walks around to face you. 

“You aren’t mean. Did Nagi call you that recently? I told him to stop that shit.” She says protectively as you roll your eyes with a laugh.

“He hasn’t.” You amend. “But they all think so. And what do I care? That just means people will leave me be.”

“No one wants to be left alone all the time.” Your friend says, booping your nose, a small thing that has you cheering up a bit.

“I have friends. I have you. I’m good.” You wave her off, pushing to your feet. 

“That’s right, you have me.” She smirks. “Who cares about some ’know-it-all ball kicker’ you're obviously going to the game to watch.”

“You ruined a perfectly good moment.” You blush, pushing past her. “I’m not even dignifying that with a response.”

The game was just about starting by the time you and your friends arrived. You sat near the side of the field. You had watched plenty of practices. Watched drills and scrimmages and you never really considered yourself a sports person.

That’s because you’d never been to an actual live game.

“Come on! A fucking yellow flag!” You hissed, tossing your popcorn in anger. Your friend beside you looked at you with a mixture of horror and amusement. You ignored her. This other team was clearly getting special treatment from the referees. Every single thing the boys did seemed to earn them a flag. It was frustrating.

“They’re winning… by like a lot.” Your friend points out as you give her a sharp look.

“So what? Doesn’t change the fact that these refs are idiots!” You yell as a ref on the field turns, pouting. Your friend calls out sorry to him as you give him the death stare. 

“You’re way into this-”

“Hush,” You wave her off. Your eyes glued to Isagi as he sneaks up the side of the field, you watch him barely raise his head to Nagi who passes him the ball towards the left side of the goal. You grip your friend's arm hard as Isagi smashes the ball into the goal. You're on your feet in seconds as the crowd erupts in cheers, your poorly placed popcorn spilling onto the ground. You clap and cheer along with the crowd. They won 7-2. Your friend laughs hard at you, a knowing look in her eyes. 

Later you follow your friend as she pulls you through the crowd, the only time she lets go is when she spots Nagi. You watch as she takes off in a run, Nagi catching her midrun, spinning her around as she congratulates him. You watch them for a moment, a part of you feels strange. You watch your friend smile, you watch Nagi blush. Their secret moments on the crowded field. You swallowed something down, a sadness over something you didn’t understand. 

“I can’t believe it… you actually came.” A warm voice calls out to your right, you turn as Isagi pushes through the crowd over to you. His face is flushed from the game, hair pushed back off his forehead. He has this look on his face, a smile that makes your stomach twist. 

“I’m upholding my end of the deal.” You say back to him as he smiles, a soft laugh escaping him. You cross your hands defensively as something bubbles within you. “That was… a good game.”

“Just good? You seemed pretty passionate in those stands.” He smirks. You blush suddenly. Ah, he heard that. 

“Well… those refs were idiots. I stand by that.” You double down as he laughs again, fuller this time. He… had a nice laugh. A warm laugh that heated your insides. “And that final goal was… impressive. I guess.” You shrug, trying for nonchalant. 

“You guess?” Isagi echos, a beaming smile on his lips, it almost makes you smile. Almost. 

“Hey, Y/n!” Your friend calls out to you, you turn as she slams into you with a hug. “Nagi and I are gonna go get dinner. You can give her a ride home right, Isagi?” Your friend asks as you turn to her, brows furrowed, half formed curses on your lips.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Isagi agrees easily. 

“Hey! What-”

“Great!” Your friend interrupts. “Thanks Isagi. We’ll talk later, Y/n.” Your friend beams, running towards Nagi.

“What the hell! Hey!” You call after her but she’s in Nagi’s embrace as they walk off towards the parking lot. “Bitch!” Isagi scoffs a laugh at that as you turn to him. 

“I don’t mind.” He says, his eyes easy on yours. What the hell! Your friend knew everything, knew you disliked this boy… most of the time. And she left you with him. Left you as his problem to deal with. What a traitor. 

“Forget it. I don’t live too far. I can walk.” You wave off. You weren’t anyone’s problem. You’d gone to Isagi’s house before, for student council purposes, and taking you home would be out of his way.

“No.” Isagi shakes his head as he grabs his bag, tossing it over his shoulder. “It’s night time, Y/n, you can’t walk.”

“It’s out of your way though.” You point out and he gives you a look with a raised brow.

“So what?” He appealed.

“So… it’s a waste of gas.” You try to reason and he just laughs, shaking his head but when he goes to respond he’s interrupted. A girl from your class calls out to him. He turns as she beams up at him. You feel a twist in your gut at the interaction. She congratulates him on the win and blushes when he thanks her, a winning smile on his lips. The girl glances your direction, she blinks. 

“Y/n? I didn’t know you’d be here.” She greets as you shrug.

“Me neither.” You say as she looks between you and Isagi before looking you up and down. She pouts at something when she looks back at Isagi and when you turn to look at him he’s looking at you, a strange almost… soft expression on his face. You look away instantly.   

“Well… that last goal was something.” The girl directs the attention back to her as she reaches out, barely touching Isagi’s arm. “You’re really good at soccer, Isagi… you must practice a whole lot.” She bats her eyes and you're suddenly very aware that you don’t want to be a part of this conversation anymore. When she starts talking again you slowly slink away, weaving through the crowd back towards the parking lot, your knee jerk reaction winning. 

You couldn’t stand there another moment. For some reason that girl infuriated you. For some reason you felt warm and red and annoyed. These were feelings you didn’t understand and that freaked you out. When it came to fight or flight this time you chose flight. 

You passed the gate of the field and wrapped your arms closer to your body, shivering from the cold. You did not live close by whatsoever, it’d easily take you an hour to walk home. You supposed you could try and jog the whole way but who were you kidding, you read more than you moved. You pulled out your phone, looking through your contacts. Both your parents were out for the rest of the week. You couldn’t call your traitorous friend who caused all this in the first place and your other two friends you didn’t want to bother. You heaved a sigh. Walking it was…

“Y/n!” Isagi called, you heard his cleats slamming against the pavement as he searched for you. Embarrassment flooded your system and you were half tempted to duck and hide. But instead you stopped as he finally caught sight of you. A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he made his way to you, bobbing and weaving through the cars.

“You were seriously going to leave and walk home without saying anything?” He asked as you shrugged.

“You were… flirting so I thought i’d just-”

“Flirting?” Isagi echoes, shaking his head in a resolute way. “Not with her, no.” He leaves no room for discussion, no room for doubt in his steady tone.

“Oh I thought…” You trail off, clearing your throat, shivering from the cold. Isagi notices in an instant, pulling off his own jacket. He steps in your space, he’s taller than you, just barely. He throws the jacket over your shoulders, his hands still on the jacket as it’s on you. You two are close and when you tilt your head up your eyes meet his. There’s a spark of tension, it starts when he chances a touch. His hands just barely glide over your upper forearms, rubbing up and down to warm you. It ignites through you like a lit match, lighting you up from the point of contact all throughout your body. It makes you lightheaded and speechless, something you never were. You always had a quip, something to say, something to hide behind. But that spark, that fire had dismantled any coherent thought. It dulled your sharp tongue. 

“Come on, it’s cold out.” Isagi persuades softly and only when he pulls away do you find your wits. You blink a few times. How the hell does a short lingering touch have you in such a way? You blamed it on your lack of romance, you reasoned in a short amount of time that lack of attention clearly had you starving for any bone thrown your way.

Yeah.

Yeah. That’s it. You reasoned.

You followed Isagi, paused as he tossed his bag in the trunk and blushed when he opened the passenger door for you.

“I can open my own door.” You said but your words lacked their usual bite. 

“I know you can.” Isagi says. You slid inside and cringed at yourself. You wanted to smack yourself as your heart sped in your chest. You argue with this boy day after day but he gives you his jacket and suddenly you blush like a schoolgirl? You needed to get home quickly and also never speak to your friend ever again. Isagi jumps into the driver's seat, turning over his car as he fiddles with the heat. “Better?” He asks as you look at him sharply.

“It’s fine.” You answer curtly but if you sound annoyed he doesn’t pretend to notice. He smiles, putting the car in reverse as he backs out of the spot, one handed. You watch him and hate the fact that your eyes linger on his hands on the wheel. You tear your eyes away. What got you in this seat? Your friend left you… probably purposefully. You went to the game because Isagi asked? No, he made a deal… “I showed up to your game. Are you gonna hold up your side of the deal?” You asked. He promised not to talk to you the rest of the year and to be honest… you hoped he would because you felt something shift tonight. That strong feeling you claimed to feel for him for so long didn’t seem to fit anymore. That strong dislike was melting and the defensive measures built within you were reaching out pushing that wall back up with all its might. You couldn’t let him in. Your parents hated each other, they claimed it to be love. You had made a choice long ago that if that’s what love was then that’s not something you ever wanted to feel. Love was a sickness. You were lonely. It wasn’t going to be your cure. Some stupid boy wasn’t going to wreck you in one stupid night. This meant nothing. It couldn’t mean anything. As much as you didn’t want to be a ghost floating about life… you weren’t exactly ready to be seen like that. 

“The deal, huh?” Isagi asks lightheartedly. “And what was that again?”

“You’ll leave me alone… for the rest of the year.” You answer, your eyes flicking to the side of his face. He’s amused, you can see it in the curve of his mouth. He drums his fingers on the wheel.

“Ah. That…” He trails off. “You know… I seem to recall a little clause in that deal.”

“Hm?” 

“Well… when you made the deal you specifically said I’d have to stop talking with you if you came along and…”

“And?”

“Watch me lose.” He says, turning onto a main street. You furrowed your brows… that’s right… you did say that. Isagi stops at a red light, looking over at you. “Clearly… I didn’t lose.”

“That… that’s silly.” You shake your head, meeting his smirking look. “I just added that part to be a bitch, clearly.”

“Regardless of intention I don’t need to hold up my side of the deal, Y/n.”

“What? Y-you can’t just decide that! I came to the game and I stayed the whole time.” You argued back only half joking.

“Staying the entire time wasn’t a part of the deal. Now you're just adding things.” Isagi bantered as you huffed in your seat. All that prior spiraling out about love was put on hold, you had a bit of your mojo back.

“My choice words about losing was a caveat, a warning. That’s all. It wasn’t a part of the deal.”

“Ah… trying to use fancy words to confuse the jock, that’s below you.” Isagi jests, shaking his head as a bark of laughter escapes your lips. 

“I defined the word in the same sentence, Isagi.” You refuted.

“I’m sorry, this is out of your hands, Y/n. I’ve decided not to uphold my end.”

“You’re a man without honor!” You groaned, slumping in your chair. Isagi glances over at you, your eyes meet for a second before he descends into that same warm laughter like before. You watch him unashamedly, feel that same warmth bloom inside you. You can’t look away, can’t look away from his soft jawline, his bobbing adam's apple. He meets your eyes again as he pulls into your driveway, all the lights in your house are out, your home like a haunted house on the hill, no warmth. Isagi looks out at it.

“Your parents' home?” He asks in the quiet of the car.

“They’re on work trips.” You answer, he rolls his eyes back to you. You feel the weight of his stare, feel the warmth again and again and wonder if it’s going to burn you and leave scars. Would he trace your scars? You flinched at that thought. 

“When will they be back?”

“Next week sometime… I… I’m not actually sure.” You try for a lighthearted tone but your laugh falls flat as Isagi’s eyes search your face for answers you wouldn’t give willingly. 

“Y/n?” 

“Hm?” You hum and when you meet his eyes you suck in a breath at the intimateness of the moment. 

“Do you… really dislike me? Because…” Isagi asks and you hold your breath.

“Because?” You prompt. Isagi turns a bit in his seat, to face you better.

“Nagi thinks you mean it. That you hate me. That I’m… ruining my chance.”

“Your chance?” You can’t help but echo the words and watch Isagi’s face flush like back on the field as he shifts slightly uncomfortable in his seat. 

“Do I have one, Y/n? Or do you really hate me… It’s hard to tell sometimes.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You sigh, staring out at your empty house. “I know I can be mean.”

“You’re not mean, Y/n. I think you just don’t want too many people poking around your life.” Isagi points out and suddenly and dizzyingly you realize… maybe it’d be okay for Isagi to… poke around your life in his own words.

“Right,” You nod your head, tucking your hair back out of your face.

“So? Y/n do I have a chance with you? Because… I would really fucking like one.” A fierce blush spreads across your face at his words. 

“Why? Why would you want that?” You ask, insecure and shaken.

“I like you. I like talking with you. I think you're incredibly smart and driven. You’re pretty… really really pretty. And scary too.” He laughs. “Most of the guys at school are terrified of you.”

“For good reason.” You reckon, voice shaky from his confession.

“I’m glad they stay away from you. I don’t want the competition.” He says and his words pull a laugh from you as you meet his eyes again. 

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy to shy from a little competition.” You return as he shrugs.

“I said I didn’t want the competition, not that I’d shy away from you. When it comes to you I’d participate and I’d win. It’s what I do.” He smirks. You can’t help but roll your eyes. 

“What an ego.” You sigh. 

“You don’t have to answer me right now. Or ever if that’s what you decide.” He turns off the car. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your door.” You push open the door and he meets you around the front of his car. When you turn he stops you, a gentle hand on your forearm. You pause and he steps close to you, reaching. For a dizzying moment you think he’s going to make a move. But with a gentle hand he pulls the sides of his jacket that you're wearing together and he zips it up for you. You swallow dryly, eyes drifting shamelessly to his lips. You wanted him to kiss you. You want to kiss him. So damn badly. “My jacket looks good on you.” He smiles and you want to hit him because the flip your heart does is almost painful.

“You’re gonna freeze.” You reply.

“That’s a problem… What should I do?” He asks, a smirk on his lips. You meet his eyes. “Maybe you should share the warmth?” You think maybe you stopped breathing a while ago. 

“Maybe you should take some.” You force out. He looks in your eyes, his eyes dipping to your lips, they stay there for a few seconds.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” You reply in an instant and in another instant he’s leaning into your space, invading it with permission. One of his hands is sliding around your hip, he’s tugging you a step closer. Your hands are useless at your sides. You’ve never been kissed before. You didn’t know what to do. But Isagi made up for the lack of experience. His fingers spread apart in the small of your back as his other hand reached and softly cupped your face. He slid the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip and licked his own. You sucked in a breath. This moment all hands and shared breaths. “I don't…. Know what to do with my hands.” You whisper in the small dwindling space between your lips. He pauses, a hair's breadth away from your lips and you almost regret talking and pausing the moment. But he pulls back just a bit and he guides your cold hands with his warm hands up towards his neck. 

“Wrap your arms around me.” He speaks and his breath ghosts over your lips. Your arms wrap around his neck and he ducks down slightly, his hands slide over your hips as he doesn’t waste another second dipping his head and meeting your lips with his own. It’s a soft press at first. But that desperate hunger takes over and you're kissing as though he’d just arrived back from world war one. He’s pulling you impossibly closer; he's kissing you with a fervent need that makes you weak in the knees. He’s backing you up until the backs of your legs bump into his car and then he’s pulling you up and placing you on the hood of his car so the kiss isn’t interrupted for even a single moment. You shiver at the heightened moment, your skin hot beneath his warm jacket. “This means I have a chance, right?” He asks against your lips, eliciting a laugh as he kisses and kisses you again and again. “God… I have to get you inside.” He groans against your lips and you know he’s saying that because you're shivering from the cold. You miss the warmth of his kisses when he pulls back and pulls you from the hood of his car. “Come on.” He guides you to the front door. You fish your keys out and pause, turning back towards him. 

“You have a chance. If that wasn’t completely obvious.” You say and Isagi’s serious face softens. His hands are on you again, he’s pulling you in and you decide if thoughts of love make you spiral you’ll let this be something else. 

[outlaw-apologist]

Home For The Holidays (Logan x Reader) Holiday Hurt Comfort

Summary: Haunted by what was and what could've been, this time of year is always really hard for you. Logan knows this feeling all too well and he's not shy about reminding you where you belong. Tags: Hurt with comfort, fluff, seasonal depression, Thanksgiving at the X-Mansion Note: If you enjoy this please consider re-blogging! Likes are appreciated but doesn't show other people the story. Thank youuu xoxo

As the weather grew bleaker, so did your mood. It wasn’t on purpose, of course. Seasonal depression? Maybe… Or perhaps it was the fact that you, like most of the other X-Men, had ghosts. You had stood outside in the same spot every morning for the last few weeks, watching the leaves turn from green to a crisp gold, feeling the cool air lick at your cheeks until it grew bitter and whipped with an icy sting strong enough to cast a rosiness upon your skin. The leaves browned, curling in on themselves before laying bare the skeletons of trees. You understood how nature felt. Wanting to wither away yourself. Wanting to find a nice burrow to spend a long slumber in until spring. To escape the faces that haunt you, the memories that plague your dreams with their sneering reminders that you are alone. Nothing ever lasts. You’ve had family. You’ve lost family. You’ve had friends; you’ve lost friends. Death was a fickle mistress, as they say. But what is worse? Knowing the laughter of the one you love will never ring out in existence again? Or the fact that they could be laughing with anyone but you? It was an internal struggle you could never decide on. Did you miss your lost loved ones more, or the ones who decided to go through life without you?

It had been days since most of the students had packed up and left, excitedly chattering about their trips home, the families they'd be seeing, the familiar places they'd return to. You'd watched them go with a tight, forced smile, the kind that didn't quite reach your eyes. Now, with Thanksgiving just around the corner, the empty halls of the X-Mansion felt quieter than ever. And that silence only made the weight in your chest heavier.

This is my new home, you thought. These people… they’re my family now. You wanted to convince yourself of that, but fear gripped you like a starving snake, desperate to squeeze any light out of its victim before consuming it. They’ll leave too. They always do. And if they don’t leave, they could die. Being a mutant was dangerous, and everyone here had lost someone precious to them. You hated it. It made you sick to your stomach—to want to be loved so badly yet know the consequences were worse than the prize.

“There you are.” Heavy, musky words filled the silence of the wind. You felt a familiar presence make its way to your side, radiating warmth. “Turnin’ purple, I see.”

Your lips twitched up as you spared Logan a glance. “I haven’t been out here that long.”

“With that look in your eyes, I’d say you don’t even know how long it’s been.” Following Logan to a nearby bench, you reveled in the warmth of his company. “I can see you from my window, standin’ out here like a damn statue,” he continued. “What’s got you upset?”

You gave a small shrug. “Life.” Of course, Logan simply laughed. He knew all too well what you meant. Despite his rough exterior, Logan had always been quite soft with you. There had always been a silent kinship between you—a knowing that life was full of hurt and daggers. Or, in Logan’s case, claws. “Holiday blues, huh?” He eyed the twirling branches of the same tree you had been admiring day by day. “If it makes you feel any better, Canada’s Thanksgiving was last month and nobody said a damn word about it.” There was humor in his words. Logan didn’t really give a damn. He’d lived in America long enough to celebrate their Thanksgiving, but it went beyond that. Logan was born before Canada even celebrated a Thanksgiving. His original family long dead, buried by history and heavy snow.

“I know it’s stupid.” You licked your cold, chapped lips. “You’d think by now I’d be used to this. Being alone… Thanksgiving is a dogshit holiday anyway.”

“In my experience, most holidays are dogshit holidays. But that doesn’t stop you from missin’ what they could’ve been. Or the people who should be here right now. Commercialism be damned. We just wanna come together during the bleak months. It’s mutant nature. It’s a way to survive.”

Something in Logan’s words moved you. Hot tears stung your frosty cheeks. “I hate this so much, Logan. I hate how I miss them. How I’ll never get that back. It’s gone forever, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Logan hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, but you don’t wanna live in their past, sweetheart. Trust me, it only destroys you.”

“I know. But I can’t help but feel like it’ll happen again.”

“In our world, it will,” Logan admitted. “And it never gets easier. But you gotta choose what’s gonna make you happiest now. No sense in worrying about a future you don’t know about, or a past that’s let you down.”

Logan had a point. The last few days, you’d been so caught up in your own misery that you’d turned into a ghost yourself. The hours passed by in a blur, and you hardly remembered if you’d eaten or what you’d accomplished. You were lost to the sands of time. What was the point in that?

“I know I ain’t worth two pennies, but I’ll be here. I’ve lived this long. I reckon I’d make it another hundred years.” Wrapping an arm around you, Logan pulled you close, and you snuggled against him, resting your head on his shoulder.

“You’re right.” The sigh escaped your lips. “I don’t wanna get so caught up in missing everyone else that I don’t appreciate having you here now.”

You felt a gentle kiss pressed to your hair. “You don’t gotta appreciate me, darlin’. But the others… They care about you too.”

Charles, Ororo, Jean, Scott, and Hank… Your new family was odd, but they were warm and welcoming.

“C’mon. I originally came out here to tell you dinner’s ready.” As he stood, he reached out a large, paw-like hand. No was not an option.

You became aware of just how frigid your ears and face felt once inside the cozy mansion. Glorious scents of cranberry, mashed potatoes, and turkey wafted through the halls, decorated with leaves and other seasonal touches.

“There you are!” Ororo beamed, her warmth filling the room as she opened her arms in welcome. “We didn’t want to start without you.”

A long table stretched across the dining hall, covered in dishes of every kind, steaming and glistening under the soft golden light. Platters of roasted turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes topped with toasted marshmallows, and freshly baked rolls still warm from the oven filled every available inch. Bowls of cranberry sauce sat like jewels among the spread, and there were even dishes you’d never seen at any holiday meal before: rich, savory casseroles from Hank’s family recipes, and an assortment of pies lined up along the table's edge, waiting to be sliced.

The sight was almost overwhelming. Your eyes widened, your heart swelling with a strange mix of awe and gratitude as you took it all in. Never had you seen a holiday table so full—so abundant and brimming with care. Each dish seemed like a personal invitation, lovingly prepared and carefully placed. And gathered around it all, eager to share it with you, was your new family.

Logan caught your gaze, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. He stepped forward and pulled out a chair, nodding for you to sit. His hand lingered on the back of the chair, silently making sure you were comfortable where you were.

“Who would like to share what they’re thankful for?” Kurt asked, his voice gentle yet bright, his eyes flickering with the light of the candles.

A soft murmur rose around the table as everyone shifted in their seats, and for the first time in a long time, you felt something different settle in your chest. It wasn’t the emptiness you’d known for so long—it was hope. Taking a breath, you allowed a small smile to spread across your lips, feeling the warmth of their gazes surrounding you like a soft embrace.

Chest tightening with warm emotion, you couldn't help but to say: “I’ll go first."