#for ourselves and each other

[teaboot]

Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.

This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.

You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.

For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.

White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.

Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.

Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.

The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.

There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.

The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"

You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.

Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.

Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.

Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.

If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.

If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.

When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".

[real-skel]

I know I draw them being gay and playing tongue guitar all the time but let’s be real they were not always like that

[chronicpaingirlie]

just a small reminder for this disability pride month:

please accommodate yourself in whatever way you can. please accommodate your disabled loved ones in whatever way you can. please accommodate disabled strangers in whatever way you can.

the world is so inaccessible & hostile to disabled people. please make it as gentle for yourself & others as possible, in whatever small ways you can.

[idonthaveacontract]

[maxz-b]

forever thinking about michael schumacher forcing nico rosberg to piss into a bucket anyways this is part 4/???

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Person with no whimsy: Why are you trying to trick g-d with loopholes? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[hadesoftheladies]

it's bleak how most of the things people think will assuage and temper men are the things that embolden them. "prostitutes exist so men don't rape us" the human trafficking industry that is prostitution is an ever-growing industry that produces propaganda that enables men in society to rape MORE not less. by objectifying women and children, it puts all our heads on the chopping block. "he just needs to settle down and get married" most femicide, rape and domestic violence are committed by husbands/boyfriends. "if men just had daughters/sisters they'd see women as human" as a daughter and sister, i can confirm that we're extra caretakers of said men, and that our kindness is taken as proof that "good women" are subservient and domestic helpers.

if you want to de-radicalize men, you have to actually just stop tolerating misogyny in any form no matter what woman it's done against. stop trying to dialogue with men and start socioeconomically punishing them. people want to act like "separatism doesn't solve anything" when governments and companies only started paying attention when they saw birth and marriage rates drop. it is not women's job to save men from themselves and some feminists still don't get that. pandering to men always results in LESS rights for us. we have to become radically INTOLERANT.

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

Maybe it’s my experiences with my culture and having relatives who are immigrants, but the conflict between humanity and the eliksni reads more to me than just a message on xenophobia.

To me, it’s also about how groups who have experienced oppression are often pitted against each other by the circumstances created by their oppressors to keep them stuck in a cycle of violence and mistrust with one other. This cycle keeps groups who share similar pain and plights from extending mercy to each other and joining forces to fight against the systemic forces that brought them both into a hostile state, which is exactly what those forces want as it keeps those groups powerless and unstable.

[polin-erospsyche]

The fact that these two

Are these two:

Are also these two:

And all in the span of one year and a half

Sometimes they just make me laugh maniacally

[kypopkypop]

Growing up the chubby girl and never being able to get a piggy back ride, you were always the one giving them to your friends. 😔

[taradactyls]

Something I love about how Pride and Prejudice is told through an omnipresent narrator, aside from the witty remarks and insight into other characters it allows even though it's usually focused on Elizabeth, is how it plays on the audience's own prejudices and assumptions.

The narrator tells us very early on, chapter 4, that Darcy is "haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting." We've already seen that when we meet him the previous chapter, and will see more of it in those following. But it's the readers, along with Elizabeth, who take that observation as not only a list of flaws (despite only the first actually being negative) but presumes even more damaging flaws must be attached to it. Darcy can be off-putting, especially so in the setting we meet him in: he dismissed Elizabeth within earshot of her, didn't engage with people attempting to converse with him, etc. It's easy to assume the worst of him in a world so driven by social niceties, and because we follow Elizabeth, who is so lively and playful amidst the rules which govern society. Elizabeth thinks he's bad tempered? It would make sense - he hasn't shown consideration for others much socially, why would he care when he's angry? He acted from resentment and jealousy and went against his father's will? That's not such a jump after the conclusion of a bad temper, his own acknowledgement of implacable resentment, and evidence of pride. The awareness of one offensive trait so naturally leads to prejudice against it, that we easily assume still worse qualities must exist. We are as mistaken as Elizabeth.

Even the idea that 'No, Darcy was never haughty or rude, he was just shy and misunderstood, the narrator is wrong' is just magnifying that prejudice. Yes, we do find out later that Darcy is not at ease among strangers, and was always intrinsically good; his morals and core values meant he was never as bad as Elizabeth believed. But that doesn't mean he was without flaws, and it's so fascinating that some analysis of his character seek to completely remove the negative traits which he eventually overcame after acknowledging them in himself. The logic seems to be that they feel if he had them in the start that he isn't actually such a good person. It's just another example of being so prejudiced against certain flaws that it's impossible for some people to reconcile that there doesn't have to be more serious failings attached, and someone can still be a good person despite being arrogant and not always nice. It's, ironically, being prejudiced in the exact same way that Elizabeth was at the start of the novel. It's amazing that Jane Austen was able to tap into that aspect of human nature so deftly, and invoke in both in her main character, and readers to this day.

Now, of course, the story is so well known it's rare for anyone to read it blind, so it's less likely anyone will be unaware of Darcy's good qualities despite first seeing his worst. Even if they do, Pride and Prejudice has become so genre defining that new readers who are the slightest bit genre savvy will be more aware than contemporary audiences were. But even if we know the story it's still so understandable why Elizabeth feels the way she does. We see what she sees and feel her conclusions make sense. Just as, even though the narrator tells us Darcy is starting to catch feelings for Elizabeth, we fully comprehend her not noticing and believing there's a mutual dislike. And though that is concrete evidence of Elizabeth not reading Darcy and his motives correctly, we are still so sympathetic of the basis of her prejudice that her continued belief in Darcy's lack of virtues makes sense from her point of view. We can see, as she later will, that she takes it too far, and should have noticed evidence to the contrary, but her prejudice against him based on his early behaviour and her pride at reading people correctly is so understandable.

Basically, in a story about the characters' pride and prejudices, I love, love, LOVE how the narrator's voice brings out those same traits in readers the exact same way we see it presenting in Elizabeth. We're all on that journey with her, and we can likewise learn the same lessons about ourselves as she does. Pride and Prejudice feels timeless, because even though society and thus the nuance changes, the book is about human nature, and that remains essentially the same.

[dearreader]

i love our little corner of the fandom cause it’s all the same people. and even if we aren’t mutuals we at least know of each other’s existence and that feels a lot more welcoming than other sides of swiftie fandoms

[wintergrofyuri]

guys shut up. we have to think about cold and contrarian right now. all of us. everyone. we must all give up every cubic meter of brain space to thinking about contrarian and cold interacting. it has to happen. We have To

[thatsmybook]

Some of my thoughts since the last episode of Agatha All Along:

The most earnest show of religion in an MCU property is being done through a queer kid. I like that the wider world is learning about the intersectionality of identity. I believe that Billy is as Jewish as William because a) the only family he knows has 'raised' him Jewish and b) his love of witchcraft and ritual and finding ways to explain his world intersect with the rituals and traditions of his faith. Even William was deeply fascinated with magic and witchcraft and journeys of discovery.

Marvel fans are aware that Wiccan is a strong character. The fact that this symbol of masculine strength can be found in a witch boy who is raised to be strong in his sense of self by women in his coven, is awesome. He is drawn to feminine strength as inspiring instead of looking for male heroes. He is attracting feminine forms of protection (Alice), feminine disruptors of the status quo and stereotypes (Lilia), strength in the feminine aesthetic and belief in your innate power (Jen), feminine quest for knowledge and ambition (Agatha). He is being shadowed by death (Rio), but even death gives life in its reincarnation (as we return to earth and feed the earth with our life-force to continue on in new forms).

I believe that Wiccan is/can be as important to the MCU as Spiderman is. Spiderman is a teenager who could be any and everyone. Spiderman looks up to Iron Man, especially but also seeks male role models and approval. (A big part of Iron Man's humanity and softness came from mentoring Peter Parker - I see parallels between Agatha Harkness and Iron Man in this way too).

I believe Wiccan is a version of masculinity to teens that can see that women hold the depth of knowledge and power that he is more interested in unlocking and that their experiences with adversity will be better guides for him as he grows to be the most powerful magic user in the MCU. He is also chosen as a witch and not a sorcerer/wizard/warlock.

Will we be getting little boys and girls and theys aspiring to be wiccans and spidermen equally?

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something about how Fire & Ice give up on going after Pearl directly, and instead both arrow in on dissing Marina-

Something about, Pearl having no shame at all, outright telling Frye right off that Off the Hook is here to “take control” and then literally talking over Frye’s turn. Frye’s snarking on how Pearl isn’t the boss here and no one’s cheering for her, ignored. How she goes after both Frye and Shiver asking where Frye’s big friend is to help her pass this test, moving right on to saying they’re both just goons making a mess anyway, little fish who should stay in they're bowl, but

that seems to give Frye the idea of hitting back with the “who’s backing you? Imaginary friends?” line… like Marina doesn’t even count as a music partner- or a friend?

Pearl literally yaps about Marina being divine, one of a kind, voice so fine, big mind- raps the lines off her cuff and the heart that's proudly pinned there

And Frye and Shiver go TARGET DETECTED. They lock onto Marina.

Shiver doesn’t bother trying to needle Marina about Pearl, the way their partners were each doing- if Pearl has no shame then at least she DOES still have a weakness, a soft spot, a thing she openly cares about- something they can try riling her up over

(problem: Pearl actually has all the confidence in Marina as a musician, partner, and performer. She's WATCHED Marina be all those things for YEARS now)

In the end Frye and Shiver just rile up the gay feels. Because Marina’s been living with a rapper who LOVES hyping her up even when they’re not on stage- Pearl who said she’d cut a fish for Marina. And if you don’t come to Inkopolis with a lot of self confidence, well then getting some from your girlfriend is fine too  

But it’s cute that Pearl’s still so obvious about being Marina's no. 1 fan that Fire & Ice thought they could use it against her XD