#for i am bi (lady oriented) and i have no interest

[essentialthyme]

Charming Grace is definitely my favorite, as someone whose favorite romance is Persephone. Charming Grace is understanding, respectful, patient, her approach is different from Calliope, which makes so much sense for my "canon" playthrough:

• She respects Apollo's grief and gently coaches him into moving forward, whereas Calliope pushed him to do things differently and failed. This was the first big moment we see this contrast between Calliope and charming Grace

• Even Pan can't resist her batting eyelashes lmao

• She disarms Persephone by refusing to engage her anger, letting her win the duel Grace never really wanted to participate in, in the first place, and Persephone caughts on, she respects Grace's cleverness and becomes willing to help

• I sided with Persephone, but Grace manages to stay on good terms with Apollo by going to check on him afterwards, and considering he and Calliope used to fight and stay big stretches of time without talking to each other, this must be a breath of fresh air for him

• Aphrodite. I mean!!!! The Ritual - Green Path, I don't need to say anything else

• Persephone is afraid of not seeing Grace for who she is, and only being interested in her because a part of Calliope is alive within Grace, but charming Grace is so very different from Calliope, she handles conflicts in a completely different manner, which means that Persephone's fears are valid, but unfounded

• Despite being upset with Persephone lying to her, she helps her win her throne back, but then, Persephone destroys it, she recognizes she has fundamentally changed, the world has changed, everything has changed, she is willing to let go, and Grace, in all her understanding nature, is willing to be patient and wait until Persephone figures things out

• The Trial! I'm not always a fan of being the bigger person in a conflict, and while punching Athena in the face is something that would have satisfied me a lot in a different game, I feel like Athena is a sympathetic enough character that being compassionate just fits, specially after how Grace helped Persephone in the Underworld, and having Persephone stand up for her, standing beside her in that final conflict and Grace handles it beautifully? Chef's kiss

In the end I like all paths, I prefer the songs with some mix of the colors, but charming Grace romancing Persephone? Perfection, 100%, will play again to commit it to memory

[aro-culture-is]

Hey, I’m still a minor but I’ve been really stressing about this lately. I really want to know if aromantic is the right label for me, since I previously identified as a bisexual.

I’ve, like, NEVER had a crush. I want to. I love romance novels, couples, the idea of romance. But then I talked to my friends and family and realized that what I thought was a crush just…wasn’t.

I didn’t feel butterflies, or nervous, or ANYTHING. I genuinely thought butterflies in your stomach was something that people made up, like getting nosebleeds when something is sexually implicit or shirtless ppl r shown (stupid, I know, but heteronormativity is really ingrained in me). I wasn’t even INTERESTED in the person. Examples, if it would help: first grade, I saw pretty boy, tried to play with him and followed him around at recess, looking back I just wanted a friend and he just happened to be attractive. Third grade, saw pretty boy, literally did not interact with him nor did I want to, but called him my crush bc I thought finding someone attractive=crush. My friend got with him, I wasn’t heartbroken and even tried to set them up and tried to tell them of the other’s feelings (despite the two of them being aware) like I was a little Cupid. Third grade pt 2, saw second most pretty boy imo (notice a theme here?) had dreams of both of my third grade crushes saving me from monkeys and I was a princess and they were in knight armor until the end where they’d take off the helmet n kiss me, but I had to consciously change the face after my friend got w the guy bc I felt bad. BUT I NEVER TALKED TO EITHER OF THEM????? Like, with pretty boy 3, let’s call him C, I didn’t really talk or try to get close with him or even was interested in him, same w the previous two. I thought I had fictional crushes on both boys and girls (hence the bisexuality identification) only to realize finding someone attractive=/= having a crush. And now I’m so confused and devastated????????

I am interested in both romance and sex, but I just don’t have crushes??? I know that, most likely, there is nothing wrong with me, like rationally, but I don’t feel that way???? I’ve always wanted a wedding n kids, but I’ve never imagined it with another person, like having a wedding n there being my partner. I always imagined going solo in my beautiful dress, never stopping to consider that a partner would be there. I also think I want kids, but that might be my parent’s pressures talking. My dad has also said that “there’s only one natural orientation” and says there’s nothing wrong with having a crush (I don’t think he realizes that I genuinely never had a crush) so I’m also really upset on that part. All I want to do is fit in socially, to make my parents happy, to do what I love, and have someone to love. I’m upset and confused and I took a quiz, twice, got cupioromantic, searched up the definition, realized it was me, got scared, so I’m just fishing for validation at this point. I hope I’m at least grey romantic, because I WANT to have romance, and be happy with one person. I don’t want to be a single cat lady (no hate if that’s you, keep slaying). I want someone to love me, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to love them back.

If you read this far, thanks, it means a lot.

So, I have a few thoughts after reading this, and I'm just gonna do my best to lay out some of them

All that introductory section about never having had a crush? Absolutely classic aromantic life story. Completely the sort of thing where if someone told me that IRL, my immediate thoughts would be "oh, they're probably aromantic", and "I want to let them know we're community in some fashion, and I get it."

Secondarily, on the note of finding someone attractive: folks so frequently discover their a-spec identities by starting with "I'm equally or similarly attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan/etc", and then get hit by the phenomena that 0=0. Also, aesthetic and sexual attraction are typically experienced quite differently - despite not being talked about as such, usually because it's not socially acceptable to talk about sex except when shaming others for interacting with the concept from any angle, including not wanting it. Yay society! (/sarcasm)

Next: yeah, cupioromantic absolutely fits what you've described so far. But I have some news for you: you can be aromantic and still have a wonderful, healthy romantic relationship with others. Some of the very, very early first followers of this blog - and i'm talking first 30 out of over 10k - have openly talked about being married as aro people to alloros for longer than I've run this blog. It's possible, it's been done, and if that works for you and any future partners, fantastic!

But. That said, I don't get the impression that your approach to this is coming from a place of necessarily wanting romance? I could absolutely be projecting, and that's on me, but between what your dad said and the desperation in your message, I have to wonder if what you want is a close, healthy relationship where you are able to feel safe discussing yourself, where you feel like your emotions are validated, and you can engage in a kind and mutually open hearted way. And y'know? Especially as a minor, that can be so hard to handle. You deserve to be listened to, for your feelings to be validated, and to know that who you are is as natural as anything.

Side note. natural is such a cop-out word. Speaking as someone in a multidisciplinary STEM field: natural means it happens. Not 'is the norm', not 'comes from plants', not 'works exactly the same way every time'. Consider the platypus is a natural creature, despite being a wild abomination of every 'normal' trait it could fit in its weird little body. Consider that even in humans, sex is not a dichotomy and for the most part, sex is a socially defined set of characteristics. Consider how many birds and fish have 4 or more sexes. Consider the fungi, weep, and learn that defining them by sex is an absolute nightmare of thousands of possible sexes and matches and honestly, what even??? Consider that even if we only look at similarly sexed creatures to us, dolphins, penguins, so many birds, octopuses, dogs, spiders, cats, and more that I can't name in the literal 10 seconds I spent on that list, engage in clear same-sex sexual and romantic bonding. You ever seen a boy dog just jump anything that exists? I don't think Fido gives a shit about "natural orientations". Unless he can eat it and poop it out, and eat that. (/affectionate)

Some final thoughts: you will be okay. Being a minor is so incredibly hard, and the more you grow into adulthood, the more clear it becomes that literally everyone is following all sorts of rules that they learned once upon a time because it's hard to change the system, hard to change your thoughts, and not because it ever made sense to follow those rules. The idea that two people have to love the same way to enjoy each other is bullshit. The idea that you can't just experience all sorts of weird things, even though the human brain is among the most complicated things known to science and does so much we'll never live to know, is wild.

You will be okay. Everything will get better, and I believe you. Teen years are a lovely blend of the worst and best decisions you'll ever make because your brain and body are doing some phenomenally complicated things, and society said "hey, what if we shove all of them into an institution because labor laws say we can't put them in the mines anymore?", and this is understandably a really terrible idea. Promise you, the tigers and lions in the average zoo get better enrichment than teens seem to be allowed.

The longer you have to experience the world and its weird and inconsistent ways, the more you learn to just... be. You don't have to question it every step of the way. Maybe you do get a crush. Maybe you don't. Maybe you find yourself being visited by the cat adoption fairy, and oops, there's another, and suddenly there's several creatures who bring you warmth - and maybe being a crazy cat lady is for you. Adulthood is weird, just to be honest. This has actually happened to several people I know. So many "oops I have a cat now? help?" messages.

[turtleblogatlast]

WHo do you think out of the turtles would be the most likely to be in a relationship/date? Most everyone says Leo, but I'd say Donnie actually, since he's the one who's shown to have the most interest in that kinda of stuff with ex he's comment about the tomato lady in the 'War And Pizza' episode. But what do you think?

I’m late with this reply sorry! But I haven’t thought too hard about romance for the boys tbh! Any time I come across stuff with it in this fandom I’m mainly just like “cute” and move on haha.

That said, I do agree that Donnie is the one who has canonically shown the most interest out of them, and I personally am super tied to the headcanon that he’s bi with a heavy lean to women.

For Leo, I’ve mostly not thought of sexuality headcanons or romance for him, for headcanons and the like I mostly just heavy headcanon him as trans/intersex, but if I had to pick one I honestly adore him also being bi like Donnie, but with a heavier lean to men since I like the thought of them being two sides of the same coin, but different haha. I will say too that I vibe strong with Leo being more on the ace spectrum as well, maybe demi or grey.

That being said, beyond Donnie being bi with a preference for women and Leo being trans/intersex, I’m way more open and nonspecific in regard to headcanons like this, as again I don’t really think about any romances for this fandom much, I’m moreso a fan of family/friend orientated content haha. I like how vast and varied people are with their headcanons though, it’s nice to see people interpreting characters in different ways.

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

Not me rolling my eyes when some members of the fandom screech at me for pairing an “obvious” lesbian like Velma with Shaggy or Fred when at most she is bi.

Is it because she doesn’t look like the conventionally attractive Daphne? Is it because of her glasses and bobbed hair? Is it because she’s smart?

Whatever the reason may be for the most popular fanon interpretation, Velma Dinkley is [also] attracted to men. Nothing wrong with that.

There are at least 10 guys she’s canonically interested in, even if they: turned out to be bad and she changed her mind; were just passing crushes.

(Side note: Admittedly, I’m on the fence on whether or not I approve of Velma x Sam Winchester bc it wasn’t stated in the crossover if the gang were considered teens still or adults, since Dean and Sam are obviously not teens and Sam’s disapproval of Dean’s crush on Daph stemmed from her being implied to be with Fred, and not the age difference, but the episode used is based on their earliest adventures of when they were teens, so yeah. On the fence until further clarification.)

In the Scooby Doo Apocalypse comics, she’s officially together with and happy with Shaggy.

In the Velma + Daphne books, she’s implied to be interested in Fred. (I really hope the author continues her series and explores those avenues further despite what the current movies and series say.)

I don’t see how these adaptations are an “insult” to her sexuality.

My hang up with the “confirmation” that Velma is “canonically a lesbian” I guess is mostly how it was executed and how they try to explain it.

In Mystery Incorporated, Velma’s relationship with Hotdog Water doesn’t reduce her to an babbling idiot. Neither do most of her relationships with the men. At most, she was adorably awkward, but still capable of being objective. Plus, if the male love interest in question was an irredeemable bad guy, no way would she compromise her morals!

With the Coco girl, on the other hand…yeah…Velma pretty much got the canon-character-in-this-medium-who-is-now-the-adoring-love-interest-of-the-mary-sue-self-insert treatment and was practically worshiping the ground this lady walked on on (I will acknowledge that Coco has a cute design; as for how Velma could possibly be attracted to her, I cannot tell you.)

Even her newest TV series doesn’t know what to do with her romantic/sexual orientation.

As a Frelma fan, I am unhappy that she is reduced to being a bitter jerk and that he is reduced to the stupid, self-absorbed and secretly insecure white boy born in privilege template instead of them both being likeable characters equal in intelligence in different areas.

As someone who sees Velma and Daphne as just really close opposites-attract-besties but will be objective for the sake of Delma/Vaphne shippers, it really bugs me when adaptations paint Daphne as mostly at fault for whenever caused their fallout as childhood friends and how they cannot have a civil conversation in their present years but oh-look-not-so-secret-belligerent-sexual-tension-explains-why-they-clash-and-why-now-they-should-be-considered-a-possible-thing instead of having them naturally drift apart for a few years bc school be like that, reconnect after some friendly, albeit awkward “oh how have you been? Oh fine i guess, you?” moments, be besties again, and then maybe lead up to a more natural and less rushed heat-of-the-moment developments. But nope. Suddenly they kiss at the end of episode 2.

As a formerly major and currently neutral Shelma fan, Norville (Shaggy) deserves better. That’s it.

So yeah, I’m annoyed by Trick or Treat, Scooby Doo! for claiming Velma as explicitly a lesbian now when they portrayed her romantic interest as such an insult to her core character, and moreso at the fans claiming it, James Gunn’s initial drafts of his films, and one of Velma’s live actress’s real life sexuality as the “correct interpretation” of Velma’s romantic inclination.

I’m annoyed at Velma the Series because whatever Frelma moments will happen, it will happen between the most negative and superficial interpretations of each character.

I feel like it's a little late to come forward and be like "Velma the Series" is a travesty and forever taints the otherwise fine Scooby-Doo repertoire. That is not a new observation especially with the news of it officially being the lowest rated show on IMDB. I knew from the minute it was announced that I wasn't going to be watching it. I just knew that the people working on this did not care or have a deep understanding of Scooby-Doo and why people like it.

I now feel validated in that initial judgement and can say with full certainty that I would rather watch Mystery Inc. (a show I have well vocalized my hate towards) for the rest of my life than even watch a MINUTE of Velma.

Velma as a character is loved and (although it obviously varies) she has a relatively consistent characterization across every show. She's the brains, she's the voice of reason, she's the skeptic. She acts as the person who keeps everyone down on Earth. And she is a great character but people always forget that she is great IN AN ENSEMBLE. She has the rest of the gang to bounce off of and the charm of SD is in that group chemistry. If you watch the show and think "Wow Velma totally carried this show" it's clear you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the SD franchise as a whole. Again, these observations seem moot at this point. Saying Velma is bad is like saying ice is frozen water.

What I will say is that it's upsetting that every character had their personalities stripped to just fit the very specific self-insert fantasy that Velma is trying to sell. Velma is no longer Velma, Daphne is no longer Daphne, etc. And that is obviously going to do no favors for Frelma at all. In every show (even MI) Fred and Velma are the brains. They're obviously smart in very different ways but anyone paying attention can tell that they are the ones who love to solve mysteries. They are a detective duo and are usually on equal footing. Obviously if you think Velma was the one carrying the team then you can't really portray her on equal ground with anyone.

But if I like Frelma, there is no way I am going to enjoy seeing the scale tipped so high in Velma's favor that Fred might as well not even be there. Their relationship dynamic is why people (me) love them and if that dynamic is done poorly then there's not much point in liking them.

Anytime Velma has shown any romantic interest in someone (male or female) she's typically pretty collected about it. Which makes sense - again she is the logical one in the group. And I suppose that only makes the discrepancies in her current character even more glaring.

I know that being bummed that we won't be getting well done Frelma/Scooby gang representation is a little ridiculous when we're looking at the other complaints made against it. The disappointment from the Indian community at how poorly they feel represented being the most important one (at least to me). Compared to that, this complaint is almost nothing. But it is also a reminder of what happens when people are given the rights to properties they clearly don't have any respect for. Riverdale having no respect for the Archie comics is another good example. I am hoping that all of the bad reception Velma has gotten will show that you can't just take any franchise you want and use it as a skin for your poorly written self-insert fantasy.

[grumpy-limsan-customs-cat]

2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it? specifying characters is hard! otte/fymh/lady legg/croissant/AFI (whoever and however many you want)

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈PRIDE THEMED OC ASK GAME🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

Oh boy, time to do a little list!

Otte is bi, with a strong, very very strong, leaning towards the masculine, both romantically and sexually. While living with his tribe he presumed he merely had no interest in things outside the platonic, but moving away and meeting all kinds of people - all kinds of tall people, made him realise otherwise. He doesn't have much opinion about it, except he would prefer not having any preferences whatsoever.

Fymh is very inexperienced with all things of romance and beyond, and so they're completely oblivious to their own preferences! Even I am not sure what their orientation will turn up to be - only time will tell.

Athell is definitely pan, she is more interested in what is on the inside (the aether, specifically), than on the outside. Maybe she is more aethersexual then? She isn't ashamed of it, either, it's a part of who she is and so she embraces it fully.

Everaux is utterly, completely straight, and has no opinions or questions about the fact. He thinks men are cool, of course, but has no interest towards them romantically or sexually.

Afi is heteroromantic on an asexual spectrum - and he is fine with it. Having no interest towards intimacy made things a little awkward in his youth when siring children was expected and most were eager to do so, but now that those duties are no longer a concern he has completely embraced his indifference towards it.

Teruya is...a mystery. He is fine with taking clients from all genders and walks of life, but doesn't have much interest or attraction towards them on a personal level - he isn't required to sleep with them, after all. There is probably a preference in there, somewhere, but at the moment he hasn't revealed much of that side to me.

[merlinmyrddin]

Hello!

Can you recommend me some very underatted gay movies? (I prefer comdey or happy ones if it's possible)

I recently came to realize i am a 23 man who happens to be gay. I don't know what took me so long.

Hello! I am sorry for the time it took me to answer you, but your ask has been playing constantly in my head now for weeks and I had to go down nostalgia lane film-wise...!

I'm also sorry for how long this answer is, I got carried away!!!

So first of all, I am damn proud if you. I know it sounds like empty words but whether you're 13, 23, or 45, being able to say you have found your inner truth is always something to be proud of! And what took you so long? It didn't. We are living in times where people want you to believe you are meant to have your sexuality and/or gender figured out by 18 when in reality, I know more people doing their coming out in their 20's/30's. Because when it comes to being gay, lesbian, bi, trans and queer : this last decade has seen some major changes. But it's ok for people born late 80's and 90's to come out "just" now. We grew up in a time where homosexuality was still taboo in most places. And when I say taboo, I mean that "homosexual" was barely pronounced, sometimes only whispered. A time where "gay panic" was a legitimate defense in court. (Talking from a Western European point of view here again. Many places in the world, including the USA still consider the murder of an homosexual or transgender victim as a legitimate act. And these last years has proven that there was not only the "gay/trans panic" crippling our streets, but also a "black panic" and more recently, an "Asian panic". Short aparte here : "gay panic" doesnt mean "omg, that person is making me question my identity!?" nor is it a term used when thirsty over an actor/actress when openly gay such as "[actor name] oh wow...*gay panic intensifies*... this term is a serious concept a murderer can use in court as a defense when taking the life of someone from the community. This is the law enabling hate crimes.)

To any younger people reading this right now : gay marriage has been legal in France since 2013, in the UK since 2014 and, allegedly, in the US since 2015. This is recent history. People who are mid-20's are historically closer to the HIV/AIDs crisis than of the legalisation of same-sex marriage.

As such, we are made to believe than coming out in our twenties or thirties is doing a late coming out. No, it's not. We are a generation who suffered through systemic homophobia in our formative teenage years. When we were trying to figure who we were, people were marching in the streets calling us names, and trying to defend the idea we did not deserve basic humans rights. (As a side note, I am not implying that such issues are not currently happening. This is mostly western European centred again as I am, well, European. This is also targeted towards sexuality orientations, excluding any gender talks as this is still currently a very real societal issue for which the fight has only just begun. Double side note : I'm not yet fully caffeinated. But hopefully you get the general idea despite my flagrant lack of eloquence on this fine morning.)

Alright, let's move on to films then!

I searched for a long time for happy / comedic films but then I realised I was definitly not the right person to answer that. On a general basis, I enjoy dramas. That's my thing.

So instead, I thought I would list you the first LGBTQ+ Films I ever watched, hoping they'll find you well.

-Stonewall (1995). Not my favourite film, but as a kid, it was great first jump into lgbtq+ history. Sad note : The director of this film died of AIDS shortly after.

-Another country (1984) Based in the 1930's in a public school. Starring Rupert Everett (who just a few years ago came to direct "The Happy Prince", a great take on Oscar Wilde and Alfred Douglas, casting himself as Wilde, and Colin Morgan as Bosie...fantastic film, highly recommand), and starring Colin Firth. Teenagers discovering themselves, from homosexuality to politics. (The parralele made is quite interesting as both young men are misfits...one for being gay, one for being Marxist.) Great watch, but a heavy one.

-Maurice. (1987) God, I love this film. It explores not only coming to term with your sexuality but also what it means to be homosexual for the people around you and the impact it can have on your life, depending on your social background. Starring James Wilby, Hugh Grant and Rupert Graves, this is an other drama which leaves you feeling almost raw. I always had an affinity for British film because of how...real they feel. Best example would probably be Danny Boyle himself. You know what I mean... you grow attached and you feel for these characters. And Maurice does just that. Memorable quote : I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort. (And you might think : "Oscar Wilde? Again??" And oh boy, yes. Oscar Wilde again. Yes, he is one of the most well known author, mostly because of The Picture of Dorian Gray, but he is also a major part of Queer history. After all, "queer" has been used as a derogatory term for homosexuals for the time...directed at Wilde during his trial for posing as a somdomite. (No typo there.) Being an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort is an other one of the euphemism like "being a friend of Dorothy") And talking about Wilde...

-Wilde (1997). Biopic, Stephen Fry as Oscar, Jude law as Oscar's lover : Bosie. Incredible. Superb film. I can not find words.

-An Englishman in New-York (not the Sting song. Actually yes, kinda the Sting song. Because both the film and the song are about the same man : Quentin Crisp). Biopic. An artist, writer, actor, Quentin Crisp has always bothered. Painting his nails, wearing make up, criticising the royal family. He was a character. John hurt is magnificent as Crisp, who he had already played in 1975 in The Naked Civil Servant, an other great watch.

- A Single Man (2009). With Nicholas Hoult and Colin Firth. This film was a slap in my face. And it has, in my opinion, one of the greatest speech of all time, during a scene in the classroom :

"[...]Let's leave the Jews out of this just for a moment. Let's think of another minority. One that... One that can go unnoticed if it needs to. There are all sorts of minorities, blondes for example... Or people with freckles. But a minority is only thought of as one when it constitutes some kind of threat to the majority. A real threat or an imagined one. And therein lies the fear. If the minority is somehow invisible, then the fear is much greater. That fear is why the minority is persecuted. So, you see there always is a cause. The cause is fear. Minorities are just people. People like us."

-Pride (2014). [TRAILER] Bloody hell, that film. When we talk about lgbtq+ history, we often thing about the pink triangle and the holocaust, Reagan, Stonewall, AIDS and... fucking Maggie. Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Lady. Again, funny how the past is closer than we think, as I still have friends of mine talking to me about that period in British history that they lived through. The minors strike. The poverty, the crisis of the working class and the HIV crisis. But if you are looking for a film full of hope, from tears to laughter, this is the one. Bread and Roses. Bread, and Roses. And a message, which I believe is the essence of our community to this day : solidarity forever. After all...there is power in a union.

If anybody has other films to add, you are more than welcome to do so.

Love you all xx

[sugar-petals]

Hi Caro. Do you think heteroromantic homosexuality and heteroromantic bisexuality are possible?

yes it is, important distinction. i myself got a bit of the latter going on here and there so you get a bunch of scientifically reliable bi-nsider stats. warning: it's hot and horny in this lab.

my romantic preference goes towards smoochable guys (including yoongi's knitted sweaters) most of the time while the sexual preference goes either way or towards the bi and lesbian ladies most often privately. realistic odds are, the girls have like a 60-80% faster chance to give me the hots.

...but there's still that 20-40% reserved for taemin's 18+ booty shaking, some heated footballer fantasies, and my femdom grind so, not heteroromantic homosexual. even if the percentage is small, it still counts as bi so teehee, we're keeping it pink blue and purple anyway. long story short, with bi people who have a stronger slant/direction going on it may be surprisingly common. this couldn't be any more interesting. the math adds up my binterested (= interested in learning about bi stuff) friends.

all i'm saying is, for me, the pretty boys are truly cute and sexy and the ladies are very hot. literally all it is. guys have a higher chance to charm me and i find a portion of them — ahem, mostly fellow bisexuals, bi guys do it for me who am i kidding — very physically enticing, while the ladies seduce me right away simply because they are lucky. heteromantic bisexuality in a nutshell. as bi as ever, just with an extra dose of sweet guys to squish.

now, the former (heteroromantic homosexuality) from an outside perspective: yes, you'd have to be extremely clear-cut in affection-based vs eroticism-based preference. but it's very possible on the SAM (split attraction model) and it has its own flag, the term would be cross-oriented, or vario. as opposed to, periorientation. which would be say a biromantic bisexual, heteroromantic heterosexual, and so on. TL;DR - yup, it's a thing.

....lab report finished, too much german paperwork in here, back to practicing these sacred formulas yeehaw 🤓

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[laurechevy]

Research, research, research ….

I’ve been reading a lot of article about Lady Gaga and feminism. Trying to wrap up my mind around the notions of « essentialist and post essentialist feminism », « Gaga feminism » and many more. I tried to brainstorm and tried to find a way to enter the subject of Lady Gaga and feminism in pop music : let me tell you, researching in a scholar way is way harder than I thought. I have to question everything I thought I knew about Gaga and more than that, everything I thought I knew about feminism. More than a scholar way to approach a pop star, I feel like this is a process of deconstruction regarding feminism, gender and sexuality.

I learned quite a few things by now or at least I have multiple way of considering the subject :

Born this way is considered an anthem for the LGBT+ community but a huge part of lyrics, are also focusing on racial matters : « Don't be a drag, just be a queen / Whether you're broke or evergreen / You're Black, white, beige, chola descent / You're Lebanese, you're Orient' / Whether life's disabilities left you outcast, bullied, or teased / Rejoice and love yourself today / 'Cause, baby, you were born this way / No matter gay, straight, or bi', lesbian, transgender life / I'm on the right track, baby, I was born to survive / No matter Black, white or beige, chola, or Orient' made / I'm on the right track, baby, I was born to be brave »

What does it tells us about both Lady Gaga.s intentions and idea of representation ?

No answers yet … still need to think through it especially through the prism of the song �� Video Phone » by Beyoncé (ft Lady Gaga). Song about which the scholar Juliet Williams said : «  Lady Gaga’s almost comically absurd attempt to “do” Beyonce ́ in the video has the effect of aligning Beyonce ́ with the natural and Gaga with the performative. In contrast, Beyonce ́’s racialized body appears as a sign of the decidedly un-queer, functioning as the backdrop against which a feminist politics of self-fashioning struts to the fore. »

Lady Gaga rejected the label of « feminist » in an interview posted on YouTube named « double standard and feminity » in 2009 BUT in an interview in 2010 she claimed « I put out music videos, and I do performances, and I am 79 percent of the time shocked by how people respond, because I don’t really think it’s particularly groundbreaking or shocking. I think it’s just me and who I am, and I’m a feminist »

What does that means ?

McClary attributes this distancing to the media’s dismal portrayal of the archetypal feminist, and more specifically to the “feel-good, folk-based repertory that circulated at 1970s music festivals”. It made me think about Jimi Hendrix’s performance of the national anthem in Woodstock. He claimed nothing was political about it, and the idea that many pop singers didn’t wanted and still don.t want to be associated with politic.

Meghan Vicks claimed that «  Lady Gaga’s intent clearly is not to disavow feminism, but instead to challenge the reductive view of feminism as opposing men, rather than male privilege »

The whole Jack Halberstam’s theory of Gaga feminism is also interesting to take into account. Professor in the Department of English and Comparative Literature and the Institute for Research on Women, Gender, and Sexuality at NYC stated about his theory « To be clear, what I am calling ‘gaga’ here certainly derives from Lady Gaga and has everything to do with Lady Gaga but is not limited to Lady Gaga. In other words, just as Andy Warhol was a channel for a set of new relations between culture, visibility, marketability, and queerness, so the genius of gaga allows Lady Gaga to become the vehicle for performing the very particular arrangement of bodies, genders, desire, communication, race, affect, and flow that we might now want to call gaga feminism »

What does that means ?

It seems to imply that a pop star, that wasn’t even considering herself « feminist » back in 2009 has influenced a whole new way of considering feminism, gender and social « norms »

I have still a lot of things to read, a lot of things to understand I guess and obviously a lot of things to say. This post is really messy but I guess it shows how wide the subject is and how seriously the subject of popular music as a site for feminist inquiry. I hope I’ll be able to present you my subject this week and that I’ll be able to hear your suggestions and remarks !

[olderthannetfic]

hi hi history-non again, sorry I know it's a very

ahem wide and girthy ahem

ask, and i'm sorry for not narrowing it down farther my brain is smooth as butter and the dart board, so to speak, is. big. i feel like im throwing my dart in the ocean of 'what i don't know' and trying to spear a fish who might speak to me like the queer elder i never ha d ;lkasjd;flkas damn you small conservative town ANYWAYS

i guess okay maybe do you have any favourite figureheads? whats your fave pieces of lgbtqa+ media (like books or shows?)

thanks again and sorry for.

uh.

big.

--

Lolololol. Yes.... it’s so... big...

In the 90s, the writers of nonfiction who I found really inspirational were Susie Bright and Kate Bornstein. My Gender Workbook was a classic. I gather there’s a new edition.

I was a massive, massive nerd, so my actual favorite queer book as a 14-year-old is one that will be a bit... uh... much if you’re not feeling very intellectual. It’s Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. This thing is a massive doorstop of a book that collects academic journal articles on third gender roles from various cultures. I was obsessed with this thing. Again, it’s academic journal articles, not popular nonfiction, so expect that level of impenetrable prose.

I was also a giant weeb, so I read a bunch of books on the history of gay sex in Japan. It’s pretty interesting how much people assume the “m/m sex = sin” shit was worldwide and how much it just was not.

In terms of fiction, I’ve always struggled to find f/f media I relate to. I really like the tv adaptations of Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. Lots of fucked up problematicness and gorgeous visuals. Gotta love the lady with the strap-on and the gold body paint!

For other queer media, I was a big fan of Velvet Goldmine and of Pedro Almodóvar’s older films, which are full of every problematic kink you can think of. They also have a lot of het I like, like the lady being coerced into sex (that she enjoys) by the drag queen who impersonates her famous mother she has a lot of mommy issues about... except said drag queen is really an undercover police officer. Just... whut. (All the “straight” stuff in Almodóvar’s films is also bugfuck nuts and often kind of queer.)

I really, really, really loved Crash. Not the shitty one that won an oscar: the car crash perverts one full of weird UST. There’s a ton of straight sex in this too, along with every gender combo and a laundry list of upsetting kinks. It’s just every kind of weird perv thing. (”Weird art film full of sex and problematicness” is pretty much the defining feature of movies I liked as a teen. I loved Kissed, that het necrophilia movie too.)

Stage Beauty is probably my favorite film for bi vibes. It’s this meditation on identity as the English stage was changing over from having men play women to having actual actresses. It ends in f/m, but it’s definitely a very queer film.

If you want slice of life stuff, I guess you could try Dykes to Watch Out For (the comic that’s the source of the bechdel test) or the Tales of the City novel series. These will both give you a sense of what was going on in certain queer communities in the late 20thC. If you want something relatively fluffy, Maurice is a historical costume drama with a happy ending. I found it awfully slow as a college student, but it does have naked Rupert Graves (Lestrade from Sherlock), so...

----

See, this is hard to answer because I came of age and did all of my reading of that kind a long time ago. I pretty quickly moved on to fangirl media, which I have always liked a lot better than other arguably queer stuff. Back in the 90s, that meant Japanese stuff and fic. Later, I had access to more flavors of by-fujoshi-for-fujoshi media.

So my actual favorite m/m books are a bunch of “m/m romance” (i.e. American BL being sold as ebooks on amazon). If you want live action TV and fandomy vibes, you’re better off with Trapped (hot cop/mobster action!) or one of those Thai series about schoolboys or something than stuff made by cis gay men in the US.

I also came of age in an era when “queer” media was very Cis Gay Men And Sometimes Cis Lesbians with an occasional nod to bi people existing... maybe. Kate Bornstein and a few others were raising the profile of MtF transsexuals (the term in use at the time) who wanted surgery or even, gasp, maybe didn’t want bottom surgery in some cases. Anything about FtMs or nb/agender/etc. identities was practically invisible. I saw the term ‘genderqueer’ around a bit, but it was mostly in contexts that were very tryhard and unappealing to me.

(You haven’t given any details, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re like much of tumblr and the flavors of queerness you relate to aren’t so much the Cis Gay Men Only culture that makes up quite a bit of queer history and older queer media.)

I can tell you what I liked as a teen, but not everybody is into fucked up art films that may not have happy endings. I can try to rec things about queer culture in the 90s, but I probably don’t have great recs for way earlier or later than that... unless it’s so much earlier that I’ve researched it while writing fic of some historical canon or other. A lot of how I learned about queer culture myself was from magazines or from reading soc.bi on usenet or just from living through the 90s--not typically from books that are easy to unearth and just hand to someone now.

I tend to just not like anything in the contemporary romance or slice of life genres, regardless of gender and orientation, so while I’ve watched/read a bit more queer stuff like this, especially in the past when I had less access to queer media, it’s not a space I’m great at reccing in. And that’s unfortunate because a lot of that type of art gives you a better sense of what other queer people were like in other eras and/or it’s a safer rec than some bananas crazy BDSM film.

I was, and am, very kinky (though pretty lazy in terms of actual practice), so a lot of my reading and media interest was bound up in that also. Obviously, I was quite interested in the drawings of Tom of Finland or the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe, but are you going to be into photos of some guy shoving a whip handle in his ass? I love the movie Cruising... it’s about serial killers and leather and homophobia and is every bit as potentially traumatizing as that sounds.

I feel you on the problem of finding queer elders. There isn’t really an obvious way to go about this.

[paxtoon]

-ˏˋ⋆ about me ⋆ˊˎ-

Hello ladies, laddies and enbyody outside the binary! I'm the artist, get to know me a little!!

ೃ⁀➷ Name; Paxton (main one), June, Faz, Otiis/Ottiz

ೃ⁀➷ Age; minor in high school

ೃ⁀➷ Pronouns; he/shey/paw/mew

ೃ⁀➷ Gender; trans(neumasc) nonbinary boygirl + xenos

ೃ⁀➷ Orientation; bi oriented aroace achillean

ೃ⁀➷ Race; white

ೃ⁀➷ Nationality; Italian

ೃ⁀➷ Language; bilingual (English and Italian)

ೃ⁀➷ Extra stuff; abled and a singlet, prob nd

ೃ⁀➷ Extra identity stuff; futch, gnc (roseboy), t4t, polyam/ambiamorous

ೃ⁀➷ Interests;

In bold are my current interests, in cursive are past brainrots that are still relevant to this day!! N the pink is just to help ppl read,,

Shows: ok ko let's be heroes!, my little pony (g4), toilet bound: hanako kun, good omens, bee and puppy cat, blueycapsules, we bare bears

Games: cookie run, omori, Detroit become humans, Friday night funkin, undertale, deltarune, fnaf

Musicals: mean girls, the guy who didn't like musicals, six, falsettos, hamilton

Films: who framed roger rabbit (Jessica Rabbit be,,lo,be,d), luca (pixar), encanto

Misc: retro swing, asmr, romance, musicals, hermitcraft s7, 3rd life (the first season), singing, gore, funky looking owls, italian food, voice acting n creepycute aesthetics as a whole

That's it really!! Enjoy your time here, this is a safe space so hate will be ignored (or I'll show it on my side acc instead who knows)

If you want some trivia + fun facts abt me click read more !

ೃ⁀➷ Trivia;

I have A LOT of sideblogs (20) please dont go assuming that an account with my info on it is an imposter, tell me first

I dont do discourse but please know I identify as a critical inclusionist, If you disagree with that this isn't the place for you to start debate

I'm in a queerplatonic relationship with @andewdrop and we do gay crimes together *making out sounds*, here's a little carrd I made for keeping track of how long we've been dating for <33

I'm an age regressor, I regress from ages 3-8/10

I usually represent myself with strawberries, kinda see them as my brand? It's mostly cause my boyfriend nicknamed my acne as "strawberry freckles" slowly becoming "strawberry boy" and it stuck ever since

Speaking of strawberries! The symbol in my banner represents me and Andrew's relationship as the stem is a clover (one of his names) and the strawberry represents me

I lived in a multicultural setting most of my life as I grew up in Romania for a good chunk of my childhood

I kiss men

I like men boobs

I feel very connected to succubuses,,,dont ask why cause idk myself

My favorite animals are bats, bunnies and lambs

I do a lot of Christians jokes (example; "can I get an amen" or "In the year of our lord 2022" also I say god bless ironically alot) but I am an agnostic/atheist exploring paganism!

Cw for food; I love food!! I love eating!! My favourite dish is "meat cannelloni" and "meat dumplings! As a whole I love Chinese and Italian cuisine!! Very passionately against British f,,food,,,

[entity9silvergen]

My Oriented Aroace Headcanons From 8 Fandoms

Oriented Aroace is an aspec identity where someone does not experience sexual or romantic attraction but experience other forms of attraction in a way that causes another nonaspec label describing sexuality to feel significant enough to have a place alongside one’s aroace identity. For more information on this term, here is the info page on the oriented aroace subreddit and here is the wiki page on it.

Headcanon is a subbranch of fanon, meaning headcanon is something generally not accepted as canon but some fans choose to believe about the original content. In the queer community, it is common to headcanon characters as queer. Sometimes it’s with good reason, sometimes it’s just because we like the characters, sometimes it’s because we see something of ourselves within the characters. 

Here are some of my oriented aroace headcanons.

1. Sai (Naruto)

This is by far my favorite aroace headcanon but I don’t talk about it much because I don’t want to support the stereotype that aromantics are heartless or that asexuals are traumatized. In Naruto Shippuden, Sai is a character who does not experience emotions after an illegal black ops organization killed his brother and brain washed him. He does, however, recover his emotions and learns to be very in touch with them. In Boruto, he is married to Ino and has a son named Inojin.

I headcanon Sai as pan-oriented aroace, possibly demialterous as well, but he experiences some degree of internalized homophobia and aphobia which leads him to pursue a romantic relationship with Ino. I don’t doubt that he loves her, he definitely does but I don’t think he loves her in the same way that she loves him. I wrote about this for Aromantic Writing Month. I believe that Sai initially started courting Ino because that was what was expected of him. Ino went along with it because she is attracted to him. At some point she probably realized Sai doesn’t quite feel the same way as her but they talked about it and continued their relationship as a allo-aspec qpr.

2. Rook Blonko (Ben 10) 

Rook Blonko is Ben’s (work) partner in Ben 10: Omniverse. He is an alien from the planet Revonnah. When we see his homeplanet, we learn that he is very attractive by Revonnahgander and all the local girls are interested in him but he is bothered by it, only showing affection for one girl named Rayona. They end up dating later in the series. A couple villains show interest in Rook as well and he is usually bothered by it or has mixed feelings with no desire for reciprocation. 

I headcanon him as hetero-angled aroace, specifically gray/ frayromantic and acespike. Gray romanticism means that someone is aromantic but can experience some kind of limited romantic attraction or experiences romantic attraction under specific circumstances. Frayromantic is essentially the opposite of demiromantic. Someone may experience romantic attraction that fades as they get to know the other person. Acespike means that someone is asexual but can sometimes experience spikes of sexual attraction. 

If you have seen the show, you may know where my thoughts are coming from. Rook mostly shows romantic interest in Rayona before they start dating. Once they’re in a relationship, their feelings seem very platonic and their relationship is much like a qpr. This may be because of their age, lack of experience, or their culture but I’d like to imagine that Rayona feels the same way as Rook and they are in a qpr.

The only other character Rook has shown interest in is Isosceles Vreedle. He is briefly attracted her during a battle but doesn’t seem to have any intent on acting on his feelings (presumably because he is in a relationship). He seems to be aware that this is out of character for him, which leads me to believe that he is acespike. 

3. Alain (Pokémon)

Alain is the star of the Mega Evolution specials and Ash’s main rival in the Kalos League. I headcanon him as gay-oriented aroace.

I don’t have much of a reason for this. Headcanons don’t necessarily need reasons but I’m still going to try to explain this one.

He never has any romantic interests in the show, probably because we don’t see much of him and his story is very focused on his Pokémon training. There are many characters who are solely focused on Pokemon training and that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re aroace but with Alain, I can’t really see him ever wanting to settle down or pursue a relationship though and he doesn’t seem like a women’s man. 

His perfect life is retiring young from a decent battle career on a Pokemon ranch where he works as a Pokemon professor, giving out starter pokemon and providing a place for trainers to send their pokemon when their parties are full. He won’t have many visitors but maybe he’ll have a close companion to keep him company and help out with any projects he’s working on.

4. Toph (Avatar: The Last Airbender/ The Legend Of Korra)

Toph is Aang’s earthbending teacher in ATLA, the founder of metalbending in the comics, and Lin and Suyin’s mother in TLOK. I headcanon her as sapphic or trixic-oriented aroace.

Sapphic and trixic are both non-exclusive terms for attraction to women but sapphic is specifically for women and trixic is for non-binary people. Canonically, Toph is a girl but she is very free spirited and independent and I feel like she wouldn’t let something like gender limit her.

In TLOK, Toph does mention that she tried to have relationships with Lin and Suyin’s fathers but it didn’t really work out. I imagine that Toph is sex favorable and likes sex as kind of a fun way to enjoy herself but does not experience sexual attraction nor does she feel a need to have regular partners. Similar goes for romance. She is romance-indifferent but does not like it much.

The lesbian Toph headcanon is a popular one. Not really sure why but Toph seems like a ladies’ woman. She likes to have her fun and she just finds women to be better companions than men in these aspects. She doesn’t get attatched easily though and she’s not really into the commitment. 

5. Korvo (Solar Opposites)

Again, I feel like this plays into a stereotype that I don’t want to support but these are my headcanons and I will do with them as I want. Korvo is an alien who is having a hard time adjusting to living on Earth. We know that his species has no biological sex and do not reproduce sexually but many of them choose genders, enjoy sexual activity, and pursue romantic relationships. I headcanon Korvo as bi-oriented aroace, possibly bi-electio aroace.

I have not seen the most recent season but in season 1, Korvo is mostly uninterested in anything outside of returning the ship. We have seen him in real no romantic contexts but he and Terry are co-parents of sorts. We also see him in a couple of sexual contexts. When he got zapped by a ray that removed his intelligence, he tried humping Terry and when he and Terry tried going to college, he remained on his side of his and Terry’s shared bed when Terry brought home sexual partners.

I don’t think Terry and Korvo are in a relationship or a qpr but am not completely opposed to the idea. My point was just that we know he isn’t repulsed by the idea of doing traditionally romantic or sexual things with someone who is masculine in nature. I think he could also appreciate what a woman brings to the table, as seen when he built a robot to fulfill the role of wife and mother in the house.

I don’t think Korvo is interested in a relationship but he does value the companionship and wouldn’t be unhappy with a partner. He may struggle to maintain a partnership but I don’t think gender would be much of a factor.

6. Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman)

Todd is BoJack’s off-and-on best friend/ roommate. Canonically, he is asexual and heteroromantic (presumably, all we know for sure is that he is alloromantic). I headcanon him as straight-oriented aroace, specifically heteroqueerpatonic and panplatonic.

I love that Todd is canonically asexual and I appreciate that they showed an asexual character who is not aromantic. But, all of Todd’s relationships have that queerplatonic vibe. When he described the kind of relationship he wanted with Emily, it didn’t sound like a romantic relationship. What he had with Yolanda certainly wasn’t romantic. Maybe it was just the writing but Todd seemed most happy when his relationship resembled a qpr. When he was dating Maude, the lines between romance and friendship were blurry and they seemed very happy, and that included not doing traditionally romantic things like getting married.

I could also see Todd as greyromantic. For him, I feel like having a label isn’t really that big of a deal. Being able to say he was asexual was a big deal for him but he just wants to be himself and find whatever makes him happy. Sex and a traditional romantic relationship don’t really seem to be a part of that.

7. Silver Surfer (Marvel Comics)

Again, this isn’t one I talk about much because I don’t want to support the stereotype that aromantics or asexuals are inhuman or lacking emotion. Before becoming the Silver Surfer, Norrin Radd is in a relationship on his home planet and he does express interest in a few women after becoming the Silver Surfer. I headcanon him as straight-oriented aroace.

Some of it may have to do with Galactus’s interference. Maybe not. The Surfer doesn’t need sex or romance (no one does but you catch my drift) but he doesn’t really want it either. Sometimes it is portrayed from a sense of duty but we don’t really know what he’s feeling. He’s been one of my favorite characters for years so I may just be projecting but it feels right.

He can get lonely. He wants a companion but I don’t think he’d want a romantic one or even a queerplatonic partner. He’d be most happy with a friend and he’d get all the fulfillment he needs from one. A romantic partner might be a bit too much.

8. Gina Linetti (Brooklyn 99)

Gina is Jake’s childhood friend, Captain Holt’s assistant, and Boyle’s... something. I’ve seen a lot of headcanons that she is pansexual but I headcanon her as heteroflexible-oriented aroace.

Gina, like Toph, is just kind of doing her own thing. I feel like she’d be sex favorable and romance indifferent. Sex is fun, relationships are alright, she’s just living her best life. Men are nice, women are too. She’s just living life and rocking with whatever rolls her way.

When she has her daughter, she does want to settle down a bit but not with a man. She loves the kid and steps up to her new responsibility but she doesn’t let it change her. She’s still as wild and free and she doesn’t want or need anyone.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

When I first met my husband, Neal, I thought he was gay. Maybe that's because he told me he was gay. So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend. Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts. In fact, he seemed more comfortable with my body than plenty of straight men I'd dated had been. And after a hot-and-heavy weekend, I knew a lot more about Neal than "gay" had hinted at: He'd been married before (to a woman), and he was (still is) attracted to both sexes. Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual. I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed.

However, I did have some concerns. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. (Maybe you've heard the joke? A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous. Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men and women mean that I was competing against everyone in the world for his attention?

I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys. Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual. When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men. But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

Plus, I must admit I wondered whether all the stuff people say about bisexuals might actually turn out to be true—that they're untrustworthy, just going through a phase, or slutty; that they'll break your heart or give you STDs and probably cooties too.

Dating a bi guy, even one as great and as honest as Neal, was daunting to think about.

The sliding scale of sexuality explained

Understanding the basic science of bisexuality helped me a lot. Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. "So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. His orientation is bi, but his sexual behavior is straight." Conversely, if someone is having sex with both women and men, then he is behaviorally bisexual, regardless of what he says his orientation is.

What many women struggle with is not the fear that a guy is bi but the fear that he's temporarily bi and will eventually identify as gay. It's not a weird thing to worry about (I worried about it!), since many men have done exactly that. "Before homosexuality was as accepted as it is now," says Allen Rosenthal, a researcher at Northwestern University, "homosexual men often identified as bi in the process of coming out, like getting their feet wet. But it was a disservice to genuinely bisexual men because it left a lot of people with the impression that bi is a transitional orientation." The good news is that the reasons the bi-to-gay move used to be so prevalent—societal and family pressures, fears of being openly gay—are lessening. These days, it's more OK to be gay, and that's making it more OK to be bi. Progress!

So Could You, Should You? We asked glamour.com readers if they'd date a bi guy. The results:

__I'd have a lot of questions,

but maybe.……………………………16%

No way.………………………………..36%

Totally, why not?…………………….48%

In other words, two out of three of you would consider it. Explained one commenter: "If he's into me, he's into me. If he happens to be into guys too, well…we only have more in common!"__

Our little nonsecret

Neal assuaged my anxieties by being so enthusiastic about me that I had no reason to doubt his attraction. I was impressed by his self-awareness too. He realized he was bisexual when he was 20, and he still considers himself attracted to both sexes, at a ratio of about 80:20, women to men. My friends said he was an improvement over more macho guys I'd brought home in the past, and no one really made a big deal about the bi thing. They'd already seen him with men and with women, and we run with a pretty arty crowd. Bottom line: I was in love. As the years passed, I saw that Neal had more integrity and self-knowledge than anyone I'd ever known. And so, reader, I married him. We've been together and monogamous for 12 years, married for eight.

Neal is comfortable with his sexuality. He's "straightish," in the terminology of a gay friend of ours. But he is kind of "gayish" too. He is a performance artist, eccentric, and has—true to stereotype—better style than I do. And if I'm like, "Wow, Mike is superhot," he doesn't stare blankly but says, "Totally. Because of the way he plays guitar, right?"

Generally, we don't tell the world about Neal's orientation (well, until now!). Not everyone is as supportive as our circle, and to be honest, I have zero interest in talking with someone who thinks I'm in a sham marriage just because my guy doesn't go, "Ewww!" when Channing Tatum takes off his shirt.

There have been a few bumps along the road. Early on, Neal confessed that he had a crush on someone else. In the moment before he told me who it was, as my heart sank, I thought: Oh God, it's a man. He's gay. He's going to leave me for a man. I am a fool. How did I not see it coming? How stupid could I be?

Then he told me who it was: a woman. And we worked through it. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man. In the years since, we've weathered crushes I've developed too, and a million other surprising and not-so-surprising things. I don't think we're any more open-minded than most couples—but the amount of honesty required at the beginning of our relationship has served us well.

Talk, then talk some more

So how do you make it work with a bi guy? "If I were a woman involved with a bisexual man," says Savin-Williams, "I would have very honest communication with him about what he means when he uses the term." Trust me, I asked Neal a lot of questions about what he was into and what to expect as our relationship deepened. Would he commit to monogamy? What kind of boundaries did we need to set up? Be clear about what you're asking, warns Lisa Diamond, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah. "The question Are you attracted to men?' is different from Would you want to have a sexual relationship with a man?'" she points out. "Many men might say, It's a hot fantasy, but not one I would act on.'" At that point the question becomes whether or not you're OK with the fantasy. On the other hand, if he says he wants more than a fantasy when it comes to men…then he might not be the guy for you.

No matter whom you're dating, part of love is taking that leap into the unknown. "The only way to be truly sure," says Barbara Hernandez, a family and marriage therapist, "is over time. It depends on the values of the person, and the strength of commitment, and whether both partners work hard at it." Good advice for any couple, even a straight-as-an-arrow one.

At some point, if you're still freaking out about whether your bi guy is really bi, you might need to acknowledge that what you're worried about is whether he's really yours. "We all need to be honest with ourselves," says Diamond. "I wonder if the underlying concern isn't the same one we always have: Does he really want me? Is he going to leave me? That's a concern as old as the hills." With Neal, I came to look at it this way: If he was choosing to be with me, then he was choosing me over all men and women everywhere. And that felt kind of awesome.

Believe it or not, Neal's sexuality doesn't come up that often in our daily lives. My failure to close drawers, his inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing disagreement on who is the more lenient parent are all topics that cause more strife than his sometimes thinking men are hot. Really, who can blame him? Men are hot, especially ones who are honest and confident. Especially ones who, even though they may be attracted to lots of people, pick you.

[theworldasiveseenit]

Autism asks 1-50. For 50, what do you look like?

How old were you when you found out you were autistic? 27

Do you have any other autistic people in your family? Or are you the only one? Probably but no clear diagnosis

Do you have any comorbidities? Or just autism? I probably have adhd, more to come diagnosis in progres.

Are you LGBTQIA+? Bi and Non-Binary... so yes.

What do you wish more people knew about autism? That we can speak for ourselves about our sexual orientation and gender identity (specifically the autigender piece!)

Have you ever been in a relationship? Yes

Do you find it hard to make friends? not casual friends, but I don't make close friends.

If you have any, what are your special interests? Star Wars (specifically the bad ass ladies of Star Wars like Princess Leia), Rubik's cubes, Legend of Zelda, Twin Peaks, and Horror Movies

What was your first special interest? Star Wars

What are your most common stims? "The Calculator" whenever I think hard, my right hand moves like it is on a keyboard. Odd head movements. And a noticeable handshake

If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be? You are autistic, and stimming is awesome!

Do you headcanon any characters as autistic? If you want, tell us why you headcanon them as autistic. Uhhhh, Barney Stinson from How I met your Mother and Archer from Archer

Tell us an autistic person that you really look up to. I don't really have one. I don't look up to people.

Are you currently in school? Nope (Thank the Goddess)

Have you ever received any accommodations for your autism in either school or work? I am allowed to wear noise-canceling headphones or ear defenders at work and to work from home when needed.

Do you have any autistic friends? Yes, quite a few.

Do you own any stim toys? Which is your favorite? SOOOO MANY!!!! Rubik's cubes are my go to.

Do you find it easier to get along with other autistic people? I find I like them better, but I get along fine with allistics because I was raised as one.

What kinds of things are sensory hell for you? Loud noises, touches with people I don't know, screechy sounds, and wet cloths (even like a few drops of liquid on clothes and I have to change)

What kinds of things are good sensory wise? Being in water, controlled sounds (like tv shows I've seen a billion times), the smell of a book, the feel of skin of someone I like (not romantically but like as a human person)

How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic? Well, I presented my autistic experience at work to my coworkers and started a whole ablism employee resource group so I guess a little open?

Would you say you're proud to be autistic? Fuck yeah!

What's the longest you've ever had a special interest for? My whole life basically, Star Wars!

Do you have meltdowns? Yes.

What about shutdowns? Also Yes.

Do you avoid eye contact? I want to but I reflexively don't because of being hit a lot while growing up for not doing it. I'm getting better at not making eye contact for my comfort.

Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia? Yeah, I like to sing specific songs (Happy Ending from Ana and the Apocolypse and I don't want to be an Asshole Anymore by the Menzingers(

How long do your special interests usually last for? About 2 years

Are your friends and/or family accepting of your autism? Friends yes, family not really.

Favorite canon autistic character? Uhhhhh, none.

Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us. My Lucky little Chicken. He is a little stuffed animal that goes everywhere with me.

What are your same foods? Pepsi and Cheerios (not together though)

Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)? Peppers, not the flavor but the texture. I cook with them in the food but I can't eat them. Onions if they are too smooth. Tomatoes. Oh man, this list goes on for a while so I'll just say if it feels smooth in my mouth, It is the end of the meal.

Do you enjoy hugs? Or are they sensory hell? I love hugs, but only if I know you.

Have you ever used a weighted blanket? Yeah, I love it.

Do you have routines that you have to follow? What's in your routine? Everything is routine. Wake up at 5:15 AM, get out of bet at 7:30 AM, work at 8:00 AM. Everything is scheduled I'm not going to keep going here.

Do you enjoy holidays or are they sensory hell to you? Holidays are the best... but then I'm Wiccan and my coven celebrates in ritual that is very structured and controlled.

How good are you at detecting sarcasm? Is this sarcasm? Because no.

What's the most comfortable/sensory friendly outfit you own? I have about 2 dozen black Calvin Cline shallow v-neck black shirts and 6 pairs of perfectly cut Lucky Jeans. Stretch fit Columbia belt. and slippers.

Do you collect anything related to your special interest? Rubiks cubes, I have so many.

If you date people then would you prefer to date other autistic people? I prefer people with ADHD, the Autistic status is unimportant.

Tell us something about your special interest. My best Ao5 (average of five) 3x3 rubiks cube time is 13 seconds. It was a good day and I doubt I'll ever get that fast again

If you could have any item related to your special interest what would it be? The new Moyu AI cube

Who are your favorite autistic bloggers? Say something nice about them. I don't really have any. Don't have time for that.

Favorite autistic celebrity? The guy from Prison Break and DC legends of tomorrow. Wentworth Miller.

Are you generally a loud or quiet person? Both? Yes Both.

Do you happy flap? Yes, but I'm still working on not holding it back reflexively.

What is your favorite special interest related item you own? Show it to us if you want. My X-man Tornado V2, its a cube you don't need a picture

What's something you find hard to do because of autism? Connecting with people.

Free question. Ask anything you want! Any topic at all! Right now my hair is really short because it was bothering me and the clothes are listed above. I'm white, and just generic I guess.

[a-libra-writes]

GOT MEN: Write down things you find attractive about each of them? (I saw this at Underrated Character Imagines and wanted to ask if you could do the same?)

oh, I saw that too!! Khat has good taste 😏 im including some girls bc I am a Giant Bi

Ned: 150% HUSBAND MATERIAL. I love how broody he is. Love his POVs in the book. his love for his family & siblings is 🥺🥺 10/10 would live in domestic bliss with this man, his nice hair and 10 kids.

Robb: idk he’s real cute and honorable and i wanna pinch his cheeks. love his bond w Jon and ofc w Grey Wind is awesome.

Jon: sorry Kit is too baby-faced for me but i really love Jon’s chapters, he’s such a broody considerate sad lil butt, & loyal to his friends!! love his partnership w ghost, the goodest boi

Benjen: THAT VOICE AND FACE AND SMIRK I JUST 1500% 👌👌👌 AND THAT HAIR! damn Starks and their perfect-ass hair. damn his smile and cute nose.

Jory: sweet loyal boy with a perfect smile i will always protecc. JORY NEVER HURT ANYBODY

Edd: i love his dumb face and nose and his personality is great thanks. i think his actor is perf. 

Tormund: im not super attracted but hes got a great heart and TREATS HIS WOMEN LIKE QUEENS

Mance: fuckin chaotic-ass bard int he books why did they take away his singing and lute. big sweetie too 

Theon: ill be real hes kind of a giant fuckboy and i love Alfie but I dont think he fits Theon well BUT fuckin fantastic character arc 10/10

Yara: pleaSE STEP ON ME I LOVE BADASS PIRATE LADIES SHES SO SASSY AND COOL SFJDSJDFJSD

Jorah: THOSE EYES!! THAT SMILE!! THOSE SAD LINGERING LOOKS FSLDFD I love Jorah sO MUCH 😭😭 This seems silly but i LOVE his whispy blonde hair and the armor+blue/tan outfit he wears a lot, IDK WHY HEsS SO HANDSOME!?

Missandei: gorgeous queen who knows all the languages and is hella wise I love her pretty outfits too

Grey Worm: big ole sweetheart who will also throttle a man and rip out his heart for u. a smile i must protect.

Tywin: first of all charles dance is 💕💕 bc THOSE EYES AND THAT NOSE aND THAT VOICE and i just love dominating assholes who only have a soft spot for a love interest like hes an awful person but we dont judge on this blog ok. also love me some sneaky intrigue characters

Tyrion: just as much sneaky intrigue as Tywin except he actually has a moral compass, also a heart lmao. 10/10 would marry 

Jaime: problematic fave bc Nikolaj is a dreamboat. also his devotion to those he loves is really frickin sweet even if its misguided as hell lol. ultimate tsundere, prove me wrong

Sandor: GRUMPY! 👏 BUTTHEAD! 👏 WITH A BIG SOFT SPOT HE DENIES!! 👏👏 also like jorah he has that “lady and knight” trope that im a HUGE sucker for. fuckin handsome-ass giant cant decide if i wanna cuddle or get railed by him 

Bronn: he has pretty eyes and i like his voice but that’s moreso the actor lol. Im not super into him but i really like his interactions w Tyrion and his personality

Petyr: not super into him but i really love his manipulative nature and his actor is fuckin A++. say what you want about him but he PLAYS THE LOOOONG GAME you know he’s faithful AF. probs the only legit yandere in GoT lets be real

Stannis: MY ONE TRUE KING AND HUSBAND 😭😭💕💕 I love him soooo much, the show ruined it but his character arc in the books is just SKFKSFK AGH i really love justice-oriented, unyielding & stubborn characters and he has such a big soft spot for Davos and Shireen and he’s such a frickin butthead but also just wants love and has all these insecurities bc of his brothers. I love him. Absolute fav. I really like his actor too, his voice is 💕

Davos: I LOOOOVE LIAM CUNNINGHAM his sweet eyes and voice just fit Davos so well and that beard!! 💖 also great devoted husband and wonderful dad i jsut sfkdkfsl i also want to settle down on a seaside home and have several kiddos or just like 5 dogs with this man. love his relationship w stannis, most iconic duo

Margaery: marg in the books is kinda meehh for me so i really love natalie’s take on her, i love how gorgeous and sassy she is!!! if we dated we’d have unstoppable double femme energy

Brynden: AAaAAAA HES SO TALL AND CUTE AND HIS VOICE AND HE’S A BADASS KNIGHT I JUST SKDFKSDL 💕🐟🐟💕 and he’s so sweet to Cat and just a stubborn butthead to his brother I WILL NOT BE SHAMED FOR MY LOVE OF OLDER MEN

Edmure: idk why he’s an idiot in the show but i really like him in the books haha, he’s just likable? damn tobias menzies is a cutie tho. doesn’t look like my image of edmure but i love his smile!

Brienne: AAAHHH PLZ BE MY KNIGHT AND CARRY ME AND FIGHT IN MY HONOR akfksdkf I adore her idealism and honor, even if it tends to backfire on her, and she’s just wholesome and kind!!! SHE DESERVES THE WORLD!

Ramsay: hes the worst so WHY IS IWAN RHEON SO ATTRACTIVE LIKE?? those eyes?? that fucking smile? hIS cANINES ARE SO PRONOUNCED WHY IS IT CUTE??? damn him. damn him for making ramsay attractive. i am shamed.

Roose: hooooo buddy okay i cant help it, its like tywin all over again except Roose gives off those yandere vibes and his voice is just 💦💦💦 I LOVE THE ACTOR THEY PICKED. I will not apologize for him being a fave lol, id post my writing for him but shaaaaame

Oberyn: so i binged Narcos before GoT and i had no idea Pedro was in this show, lost my shit lol. Ahhh I love the swagger Oberyn has, he’s such a chaotic bi 😆😆 a very passionate man, not my type at all but his stupid charisma makes me swoon anyway

Beric: i love his actor!!! such a big soft sweetie with THE MOST RADIANT SMILE OMG how does he do this. love him!

Gendry: eehh hes too young for me but i love his friendship w Arya and hes a big cute dork in the book. 

Edit: no one asked but i think lord commander mormont's actor is p cuuuuute.... 👀 even without his talking bird

[a-s-levynn]

5, 1, 80, 22, 84, 47, 53, 18, 94, 48

*I totally used a pseudo random number generator :p *

Thank you so much for asking this many!! I love this list so much. Also random number generators are valid with a long list like this.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? I just answered it!

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Well it atually was yours here on tumblr. But other than that: “It is really delicious” from my brother

18: Do you believe in karma? Oh i do. Well i usually don’t call it that but the idea is the same. I think the world balances itself out in it’s own way.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I did, it was fun but i don’t know if that was the company or that i was really far from being sober. It’s kind of a miracle non of us drowned that night really. Also that lake is just... okay it wasn’t that bad back then but now i wouldn’t put my hand in it even in a rubber glove. I’d probably wouldn’t do it again, definitely not while sober and i try to stay that way these days. But it was fun.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Douxie. I don’t think i have to say more than that.

80: What size shoes do you wear? US             UK             EU 8.5             6.5            39             Which is funny given that i’m not that tall (160cm)

84: What is a saying you say a lot? Uuhh... i don’t know? Maybe that “I’m not a smart kid” or “I probably can’t say anything smart about this/that” or something along these lines. Oh yeah i used to say that “For everybody their own fate is the hardest” but i don’t think i said it in a while to anyone.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Oh come on... i want to hear their music not have sex with them. Okay i probably wouldn’t kick quite a few of them out of my bed but i have no idea? Most of them whom i like have family and kids and it is just weird to think about this? Can i trade the sex to a drink of their choice and an hour of conversation?

I’ll put the rest under the cut, because it’s starting to get long. Also the next two questions are a bit more personal and i’m more comfortable with them this way.. Well i could have chickened out of them with way shorter answers but than what’s the point doing these ‘ask me’ things? One of them is about my sexual orientation, it’s long, it contains somewhat stronger language and it mentions sex? I have minors among my followers now so i’m trying to be considerate okay? If you are small don’t read it!! Or whatever. Who am i to talk?

53: Do you save money or spend it? The thing is that my mom can’t really send me money for quite some time now so now i have to manage to stay above water somehow by myself. I save money when i can and rarely spend it on anything else but essentials. Well i pay for one game monthly but that’s it. Sometimes yeah i buy small things but i have to keep a strict check on my balance. I just don’t make enough at the moment to save and spend as well. There are months i barely get out above or at least on zero. All depending on how many days i can work the given month and how many discounts i can catch. So yeah. I’m actually too broke to spend money most of the time.  

48: What’s your sexual orientation? Uuh now this is a hard one. I don’t even like to talk much about it that often but i can be a little bit open sometimes about things like this. I don’t really like labeling myself as this or that because i’m not exactly well versed in the terminologies especially these days. And they are limited in meaning and i really don’t feel like looking it up all of them because ultimately it as important as what i ate for breakfast. Meaning it’s not important at all. At least for me. I know it is important for some and i respect that. You do you, let me do me. We are cool. I get that people need short codes to absorb information easier. Or triy to identify themselfs easier. I’m people too. I just don’t consider myself a person sometimes. I’m just me.

But i talked about enough nonsense already so i’ll try to give you a brief picture why i was and still am a little bit confused with sexuality for time to time. Mind you it really doesn’t bother me that much, it is what it is, it’s a part of me and it will stay that way. And it isn’t a big part of my everyday life anyway. But maybe some of my followers feel similarly, and this can assure them that they are not alone or something? I don’t know. I just feel like i’m at a point in my life when i can somewhat coherently write this down, because i know some key points.

In addition, i’m born female, but i really couldn’t care less about my gender. I don’t mind being called ‘sir’ wich happens on occasion, i don’t care if i’m considered along with the guys in a group or if i’m treated as a lady for that matter. I go as a female in general because of simplicitiy’s sake but i really don’t care.

So first as an unassuming wee teenager i thought i’m bi because i didn’t make a differenc between girls or boys. But then not much later i realized i practically could sleep around with anyone if i’m in the mood which comes and goes like a tidal wave. Just not as often. So then i though i must be pan obviously. But to be perfectly honest i really do not care about the person i’m with or if i’m with anyone at all or just by myself. It’s more like: my body needs a release but that’s pretty much it. Sex doesn’t really gives me emotional satisfaction, but almost exculisvely physical. I do not have an actual emotional respose to sex. I don’t mind it, far from it but it just... it’s almost like eating a toast or something? If that makes any sense?

And then there is on side of the swing with the fact that i’m really not getting romantic feelings for anyone. I tried so hard when i was younger but it’s just not there. I thought i had crushes in like elementary and highschool but later i had to realize it was just like... either some innocent form of admiration or purely physically sexual interest? I mean i can see when a person is handome/pretty or nice; funny and charming and all, and i realize i like that in people but that’s it. No butterflies in my stomach or whatever. But i intellectually do understand romance, i get why people like “romantic” things and such. I get it, they are nice but.. i don’t know, i don’t feel it. And then back to the other side of the swing. It happens that i look at someone and go hell yeah you look nice, i’d gladly let you fuck me or i’d fuck you without a second guess for that matter. And act upon these thoughts have been known to happen. But then again i always have this weird feeling afterward that i should feel something about the person i was with but.. it’s missing? Like completely. It doesn’t matter if it’s a complete stranger or someone i know. And it makes me feel weird, a little sad and a tad disgusted about myself. In addition i actually really do enjoy flirting with people regardless of the outcome. If something comes out of it then why not if i have a mind for it at the time but if it’s just almost inncoent fun, even better. That way i’m not going to feel weird about myself. And then there are times when i can’t even think about people in that regard without feeling nausea. I mean these periods can last for months or even years. And at times like this i just don’t want to be tuched in a way like that or tuched at all. I just want to be left alone.

So i just adapt to whatever my brain and body negotiates for the next period of time and act and behave accordingly of course within reason. Maybe this is why i’m out of the dating and partner finding scene for years now. I don’t care about having a partner right now. I have a few friends and that seems enough for now. I might be somewhere on the A spectrum in some regards but i wouldn’t dare to outright say that either because reasons above. I don’t know, you guys can label it if you feel like it but i’m okay with it as it is.

So put it simply: it’s just really fucking confusing sometimes, but hey this is how i am, to my knowledge i never actually harmed anyone with it, so it’s all good, you know.