#for fucks sake just let me exist im trying

[the-heaminator]

.

[dream-launch]

My friend always insists on walking me home whether I'm sober or not right cause they worry I get that, tonight their flatmate asked me back to their flat to play twister after going drinking but my friend had had too much to drink and when I was liek hey you good they got so fucking pissy and were like fuckign leave why are you walking me back and I was liek even if I wasn't worried your flatmate asked me over okay don't be so fuckign pressed and they got so fucking annoyed that I was going to their flat cause they thought I was just making sure they got home safe which life they were so fucking drunk if I wasn't there they wouldn't have got home safe but even if they were sober I was going to their flat so like why get so fucking mad

[bulbabutt]

okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

[flagellant]

this might seem dumb and i promise im being genuine here. im just kind of fucking stupid and i would appreciate a little reassurance if you have the time

am i a bad person for not being able to reclaim queer?

i have a lot of trauma with the word and people using it for me without my consent is really triggering. my abusers used it and other words as slurs while they were hurting me. ive been trying really hard to get over it, i promise, but when it's used against me i still like... have panic attacks and flashbacks. other people using it for themselves doesn't do that to me, it's just when it's used toward me.

does not being comfortable with it being used on me make me a TERF? in the past people have taken "please don't call me queer" as "nobody should ever use that word" and even though im trans, theyve told me it's TERFy not to use it? i absolutely support other people reclaiming it and i really am trying to get over myself, but the panic attacks keep happening and now i'm paranoid that im a bad person for not being able to use it

I think the biggest frustration I have with this whole thing is that a narrative has been created where people would tell you yes, Anon, that you are a TERF and so on. And that's just not the case.

Even beyond the fact that words mean things and TERF doesn't just mean "transphobia on tumblr", the fact is that there are always going to be people whose experiences with a word will never be able to be reconciled. I've said throughout this whole thing: Every word we have ever had for ourselves is a slur, because they have all, always, been used as slurs against us.

And what I mean with that is not just "So fighting against queer as a term is therefore transphobic for this and other reasons".

What I also mean is "We need to be aware that there will never be a perfect word. There will never be a word which has been harmless. There is no point in trying to invent new terminologies to escape ongoing oppression, because those terminologies will just be used against us in the same way all others are."

Anon, you aren't a bad person for having traumatic experiences with being called a slur. The idea of that is ridiculous, and I'm as sorry you've been made to feel that way as I am angry at the people who said that to you. Barely better than your traumatizers if at all, all of them.

But I want you to also hear what I am telling you. You have faced experiences which were traumatic for you. This word is one which is a weapon that can always be used against you, right now, and it will never miss its mark. Traumas do not exist in a vacuum: you can't let it keep festering in you.

Because it's like I kept saying as well...if you allow your oppressors to have the language that can harm you, they will use it. Queer is a word you can't use for yourself right now. That's okay. You are not a bad person for that. But traumas can't go untreated. I'd recommend looking into mental health resources for LGBTQ+ people in your area. Therapy works. At its most basic level, therapy would give you the vocabulary you need to express how this is a trauma of yours, and might even be vocabulary which better helps you understand why it remains so harmful for you. I hope for your sake that you can one day make a decision for yourself on this word that isn't being controlled on a traumatic level for you, even if the decision you make is "I still don't like it for me". Hell, especially if that's the decision you make. What matters, Anon, is that you decide what words you want for yourself, and not the people who traumatized you deciding for you.

[aliaology]

WANT ME DEAD

summary: loving and being loved by jack hughes was supposed to feel like a breath of fresh air— but the air was quickly stripped from your lungs when you realized it was never real

pairings: jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: heavy angst, one sided love, bets, death

uhm heavily UNEDITED LOLL she kinda sucks but

you knew jack was the one for you the moment he came up to you after one of his games just to apologize for someone in the crowd accidentally pouring their beer on you— someone who he had no idea existed.

you knew jack was the one for you when he would make an effort to call you every night, always waiting for you to answer before saying, “hey, pretty girl.”

you knew jack was the one for you when he came to your house the night after your brother got into a car crash. he held you tightly— whispered sweet nothings into your ear as his hold never loosened.

you knew jack was the one for you the moment ‘i love you’ slipped through his lips; like little secrets only he wanted you to know.

but, your entire relationship wasn’t private— no it was entirely public. not public in you posting each other, but public in him telling every little detail to his best friends: trevor and cole.

you realized jack was a shitty man the day you overheard him on the phone. his voice; the one you grew to love, was speaking to trevor.

you realized jack was a cruel man the day you heard him admit out loud to his mother how this was all fake. you realized his mother was an admiring woman the moment she started to yell at him. you realized jack would never be a good person the moment he lied to you.

“was any of it real to you?” you whispered as you looked at his back. you watched him tense up before turning to you.

“what—what do you mean?” he was acting oblivious— sinking into it.

“how much of our relationship was fake to you, jack?” you spoke, your eyes held pain in them as you teared up.

“where is this coming from, baby?” he asked.

you let out a scoff mixed with a choked sob. “why are you still performing in front of me? im not stupid jack, ive heard you! you called me stupid for believing this. you just told your mom it was just because you wanted money.”

“baby..” jack spoke lowly. his eyes held guilt, anger.

“were you sent by someone? someone who wanted me dead? because you are fucking killing me, jack. ive been back and forth with myself, trying to convince my head that you were lying; or even just joking. ive tried for defending you against my head for so fucking long, jack.”

you watched as ellen stood there; clearly torn apart by the entire thing. of course she loves her son, but he was ruining you.

“you knew i loved you— you knew that and you still did this? you couldn’t have a fucking heart and just reject me?” you were desperate— desperate for his love, even after this.

“i didnt want to hurt you..” he trailed off.

you let out another scoff. “good fucking riddance”

you had tears running down your cheeks. you turned around, trying to not let him see you cry. you felt his hand touch your shoulder— which you quickly shrugged it away.

“dont you dare— you have no right.. no right to touch me right now.” you were a mess— a full on mess. “you— i let you see all of me, all of it.” you brokenly whispered.

“i let you in— you came to my brothers funeral for fucks sake, jack! i cried on your shoulder— you told me, you said so many things.” you cried out.

jack watched you break down, his brows furrowed as guilt washed over him.

“i took you to my moms grave.” you whimpered out, your lip quivering as you shakily spoke.

ellen came over, her arm wrapping around your shoulders. “come on sweetie, lets get you outside.” she whispered.

you sobbed into your hands as she began to lead you outside. “mom—“ jack tried to speak but was immediately cut off by the look she gave him.

that night, you declared ellen hughes as your savior. that night, you declared jack hughes as the shittiest man to exist. the smallest man who ever lived.

i need to make a new taglist bc i forgot everyone and it was so messy last time 😭😭 lmk if u want tags from now on babes!!

[beenbaanbuun]

emo!mingi

im writing something big rn but for the time being, i can’t get the fact that mingi is a certified! emo off of my mind… like ever….

it’s all i think about and as an emo/metal girlie myself, i can’t help but think about mingi fucking you to his personal horny emo/metal playlist.

bc i can guarantee he has one. like the man said one of his favourite songs was dance dance by fall out boy??? like i can just imagine him taking the lyrics to that song a little too personally, stripping you bare on his mattress, putting you on your front and kissing down your naked spine. pete wentz was sooo right when he wrote that song… mingi does want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with him…

and i’m sorry, if that man ever listens to death of peace of mind by bad omens??? oh that man would be DONE. FINISHED!! because how is he supposed to hear that song without you popping into his head. memories of him folding you in half as he fucks into you, mascara tears streaming down your face as you cry out for him. chanting his name over and over again like a mantra… it’s like that song was written about you.

and that man has eaten you out one too many times to K.M.B by nova twins… he gets so pussy drunk and just goes dumb between your legs while the music degrades him and calls him out for what he really is. there really isn’t much going on between his eyes once he gets even a hint of your pussy juices. literally turns into a pretty puppy that exists solely for your pleasure, and you’re okay with that…

and i just know that this man goes fucking i n s a n e when he hears the first note of a deftones song. imagine him listening to my own summer (shove it) and just ramming into you. he’d have you pinned down as he almost completely loses himself, thrusting hard and sensual, trying so desperately to hold on to his last thread of sanity. trying so hard not to snap completely and let himself go absolutely feral on you. he wants to, so bad actually, but for the sake of you being able to walk the next day, he holds back… barely.

but like, we also know this man is a giggly baby half the time. like he’s such a princess and i refuse to believe that every single time you have sex with him, he’s completely serious. like imagine he’s trying to be but then the playlist switches songs and it’s a fucking limp bizkit song or something. like it just switches the mood entirely because how is he supposed to fuck you when fred durst is singing rollin’ directly in his ear. like you’re not telling me this man won’t collapse on top of you in a fit of giggles, rigid dick still pressed inside of you as he tries to contain his laughter in your ear. and you just slap his shoulder or something because what the fuck is LIMP BIZKIT doing in his sex playlist?!?!?!?

i’m so sorry, but emo mingi DOES THINGS TO ME!!!!! like it’s all i can think about at any given point in time and i need people to understand that this is my roman empire!!!

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut

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i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG

YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME

it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU

like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,

like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.

STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.

like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.

ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot

ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK

and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"

DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh

AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay

it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???

he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...

lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???

and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL

the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT

the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!

some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:

i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional

i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.

see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)

and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.

the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.

yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.

and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.

suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.

the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because

something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.

something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)

and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....

if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {

kyle_betrayal(alicia);

}

this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time

and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE

theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME

apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF

WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB

I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish

the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!

javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH

AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK

ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL

this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.

and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean

SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep

thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji

[ikigaisvt]

Who's the horniest of them all?

in which your boyfriend lets you get a taste of his best friend.

pairing: jeonghan x reader x seungcheol, dom!jeonghan x sub!reader x dom!seungcheol (with a hint of dom!seungcheol x sub!jeonghan) words: 1k content: smut warnings: threesome, dirty talk, begging, slight degradation, slight praising, masturbation (m), cum play, overstimulation, kinda brat reader, brat taming, a little m x m, implied future threesome (again), crush on someone when in a relationship, reader has female parts, tipsy reader (but not drunk sex!), petnames (for reader: angel, attagirl, baby, brat, slut, sweetheart, sweet thing / for jeonghan: baby, brat) note: im sick in the head pt.2... MINORS DNI. you will be blocked. this is the second part of mirror, mirror on the wall but you can read this as a one shot! i thought about writing this part since i posted the first part and here it is,,, i hope everyone likes it!! pls don't forget to reblog and give feedbacks if you want to!

part 1

"Hannie-" you sob, more to yourself than to the two men in the room. You never thought your night would end up like this.

You knew, when you first started to fuck (literally) around with your boyfriend, that he was wild. That he was going to pull out a new side of you, a side you never knew existed- even though he likes saying you were the one to make him kinkier. Classic Yoon Jeonghan.

But what you didn't knew, what you think was never going to happen was Jeonghan inviting a third person, one of his best friends at that, into your sex life- even if it is a one-time thing.

The first time you met Seungcheol, you couldn't deny the attraction you felt for him. He is a handsome man and that is a well-known fact from his friends but also from him. He is confident and that somehow, always pull at your heart string. But no matter how attractive you found him, you could never act on it for the sake of your relationship. You were attracted, not in love, and that was enough to let go of the harmless crush. Until that one night.

Until that one night you had a little too much to drink and you were buzzing with excitement. Until that one night you were sticking up to Seungcheol's side while your boyfriend was sending you daggers from across the room. Until that one night when your boyfriend made you beg for his best friend while he was fucking you.

All of these moments led to Seungcheol, sitting in a chair in front of you, dick out and hard, oozing with cum, groaning every time you moan, your boyfriend fucking you open as you sit on his dick.

"No, no, baby, say his name." Jeonghan commands sternly, "Today's about Seungcheol, isn't it?" he says in a provoking tone.

"Jeonghan, baby- I can't-" You whine out, the shyness making you blush all the way down to your chest.

"Why feeling so shy, angel, hm?" Jeonghan teases, "You weren't shy the other night when I told you to beg for him, hm? Why shy now?" he continues as he kisses down your neck.

"I'm not shy- I just-" You lie in a stutter, trying to get out of admitting your attraction to the blonde man in front of you until the last second.

"You know liars don't get what they want, don't you?" your boyfriend asks you as he pounds into you even harder.

"I-I'm not a liar." you fight back, a moan building up in your throat as you lock eyes with Seungcheol.

"Yeah? You can't bring yourself to moan for him when he's right there, huh? That's too much for your little brain, isn't it?" he says in a chuckle.

"Fuck you, Hannie-" you fight back as you close your eyes, feeling the pleasure build in the pit of your stomach.

"Oh, I so am, baby." he answers in a smirk, "And you're loving it. You're so wet baby, fuck-" he says in a breath, "Who is it for, baby, hm? Me or him?"

"F-For both of you," you mumble in a mewl, "Fuck- I need to cum, please."

"You know you can't do that." Seungcheol answers your plea, stopping his movement on his dick as Jeonghan stops slamming into you, a hand on your hip as you whimper, "Seungcheol decides when you get to cum tonight, remember? It's all about him." Jeonghan repeats as if he is trying to rile Seungcheol up.

"Fuck- yeah, okay." you answer, knowing saying no wasn't an option right now. You wanted this night to happen maybe more than the two boys, no matter what you had to give up.

"Yeah angel, I decide tonight," Seungcheol reminds you with his deep voice as he gets up and kneels in front of you, "You okay with that, yeah?" he questions as you nod, "Speak up for me, baby, would you?"

"Y-yeah, sorry- I will," you say as Jeonghan starts moving again, making you moan out.

"That's a good girl," Seungcheol sneers, "You like what Jeonghan's doing, hm? He's treating you right?"

"Hm, hm- yeah- feels so good." you sob as Jeonghan fucks up into you harder, faster, deeper.

"Wanna cum?" Seungcheol asks you in a smirk, his hand finding your clit.

"Yes- please, let me cum, please, please-" you beg, feeling the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter as you feel his thick fingers rubbing you closer to the brim.

"Think you can hold it off for me, hm?" he asks, as you whine at the thought, "I think Jeonghan is gonna cum." he sneers as he locks eyes with your boyfriend, feeling Jeonghan's hand squeeze at your hips.

"N-no, I can't-" you answer, shutting your eyes tightly and resting your head on Jeonghan's shoulder, "I- need to cum with Hannie-"

"Fuck- angel, you're so good to me, aren't you?" your boyfriend asks, his moans getting louder and louder.

"You wanted me to fuck the brattiness out of her, but you're one of a pair, hm? Just two brats wanting to be treated like royalty." Seungcheol chuckles, teasing the both of you, getting you closer and closer to the edge, "Maybe next time I need to tame you." He says, looking straight into Jeonghan's eyes, "Go ahead, you can cum. Both of you." he says, looking back and forth between you two.

You feel like the wave is infinitely coming, the pleasure not stopping for a few minutes even when Jeonghan pulls out, his cum dripping out of you as he sets you on the bed. You're not even able to catch your breath that a set of hands grabs you by the hips and turns you over, ass up.

"fuck- Jeonghan came so much,” Seungcheol says in a breath, “I'm gonna fuck it back into you," you hear Seungcheol whisper, as you open your eyes and reach for your boyfriend's hands as he sits down with his back against the headboard, "Did it felt good, angel?" Seungcheol asks from behind you as you moan out an affirmation, "I'm gonna fuck that pretty pussy so hard."

"Yeah- please-" you sob as you buck your hips up towards him.

"Our slut wants more, Jeonghan." Seungcheol sneers, his hands holding your hips down.

"Then give her more," Jeonghan says, your eyes locking as he smirks, "Hold on tight, attagirl."

“And I’d better hear that pretty mouth moan my name, got it, sweet thing?” Seungcheol says as he thrusts into you.

thank you for reading! i hope you liked it xx don't forget to reblog, please!

[psycho-killer-writer]

Dom!Draco Malfoy smut pls?? (u can ignore ofc)

my first story with smut lets be nice. Also didn't edit it I got lazy so if grammar errors or mistakes... oops.

summary: after accusing draco of cheating, you confront him and realize your were all wrong he must punish you for that ridiculous accusation.

Dom! Draco x fem reader

"THAT STUPID ASSHOLE! I fucking hate him, I'll kill him, how dare he... breath" I say in rushed breath trying to catch my breath. "really breath is that why your like going crazy" I love pansy like a sister but I'm gonna punch her in the fucking throat, "of course not but I'm angry so I can say what I want"

Pansy looked with complete confusion "how about you just tell me the problem". Oh yeah the problem kinda forgot what I was complaining about, that's what men do I guess. "That albino looking mother fucker had the audacity to take Astoria grass green or green glass, whatever who cares what her name is" I sneered.

pansy rolled her eyes giggling "you know what her name is"

"of course I know what her name is, Its fucking Astoria Greengrass for christ sake I have oddly sexually confusing dreams about her" I rant then pause hoping I didn't sound so crazy, pansy's just stares then shrugs "who hasn't".

"anyways like I was saying, he took her to meet his mom! who does that people that date and commit that's who" I was seething I thought what we had was passionate, animalistic, even say love but hey to early to tell.

pansy snorted "what are you gonna do go up to his room and demand he stop seeing Astoria, and tell him to stop existing around her."

I scrunch in disgust "oh god no im not some tacky pick me girl".

------------------------------------------------------------------------

No thoughts just anger and a little bit of delusion I walk up to his stupid door and bang on that stupid door, so loud that it rattles the hallway. Then the stupid door is ripped open and his stupid anger face is in front of me.

"who the he- oh hey" he says in sudden softness once he realizes who is causing the scene. "miss me that much the whole hallway can hear how wet you ar-"

he is suddenly caught off once I slap him across the face his face is suddenly whipped to the side, and he looks ahead past me in shock... then anger.... then he smirks at me and licks the inside of his cheek

I didn't even let him speak when I push past him and turn around to face him while he close the door.

I just start unloading all the crap (mostly insecurities, but pride ) I have been holding in. "how dare you I gave you my virginity, does it look like im one of those people who pass it around letting everyone get in here.. don't answer that. Then you bring that tall drink of water I have dreamt her kissing all over this body, to your mothers house. YOUR MOTHERS HOUSE! I doubt that prude can do the things and I can do and let you do the things to me that are disturbing but weirdly make me horny."

Don't know where I am going with this but I feel this heat and I'm just going to keep yelling and not know where this is going to go.

" so I guess I was nothing but a body to you, im not good enough to be yours, to meet your mother, and maybe in the future I won't be married to you that I sometimes fantasize about, and your mother won't love me so much that she gives me all her clothes in her will, and I'm getting off track again SEE THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO M-"

I don't even get to finish my speech because he yanks me from the back of the neck and kisses me hard on the mouth I almost couldn't breathe

after a while we both gasp for air and he keeps are nose touching "God the things I should do to that mouth". dammit he knows how to make me drip.

I looks at him in confusion and heartache how can he ask for this knowing the pain he is causing me.

"One, I don't know how you found out and I don't want to know, all I know your kinda crazy and to never hide anything from you" he chuckled and I was about to kick him in the ball when that smart son of a bitch block my leg.

"I took Astoria to the manor to tell my mother that we are not going to be committed to each other, since we were kids we were supposed to be married at 20, but I met you and there is no one I would rather be with then the insane girl that turns me on when she giggles, or my heart that skips a beat when you look at me or touch me." we both chuckle and I have a tear going down my eye.

god I feel like an idiot.... I win... wrong moment

"I feel like an idiot" I am embarrassed

he smiles pushing my hair away from my face "don't be it just shows your the one... I love you " he expresses

I gasp I forget ho to breathe, fucking suck it Astoria " you what?"

"I love you" he repeats

"one more time didn't quite catch you"

he chuckles and throws his head back "im gonna take it back"

"to late mister its out there forever"

" as much as I love make up sex I gotta punish you for acting like a spoiled brat" he said gripping the back of my head with my hair "ima fuck you so hard it's gonna feel like I hate you"

he rips my shirt wide open tearing it right down the middle and tearing it to pieces throwing it across the room. Leaving me in just my skirt and white bra.

He places his hands on my breast and squeezes with suck adoration "God these thing are so beautiful, and so goddamn sexy" he grips them tight then reaches behind and break the clip. Ripping of my bra

" that was my favorite one " I whimper, your so lucky i'm turned on jerkface

" what did i just fucking say" he seethed grabbing my jaw "you wanna run your mouth, then I wanna hear you scream"

He yanks my head toward him and kisses me with such love and anger at the same time. "Get on the bed and turn around on your hands and knees."

Fucking finally... holy shit i'm such a slut

I climb on the bed sightly nervous and very excited for what he is about to unleash on me. there I sit only in a skirt and my garter stockings, my boobs completely open and sensitive.

ready to be used

I feel his presence right behind me and his cold deadly hand riding up my leg to the ends of my skirt pushing it up to mu hips, only to reveal that I 'forgot' my underwear.

"ohh fuck" he seethed and gripping my flesh tightly "you knew what you were doing, you wanted to be in this position didn't you, you filthy little slut" feeling his grip tighten only shows how wet he is making me.

"oh sorry, I guess I left my underwear in Potters room after he fucked my brains out... oops" I look over my shoulder and give him a sadistic smile. Of course im lying I just like to poke the dragon a little bit.. or the ferret if we are getting technical.

I don't even get the chance to to process before he gathers all his strength and completely rips the skirt off of me

dam he is on a roll, my big mouth is going to make me run out of clothes

"please keep fucking talking let me punish you more, cause after this you won't be able to even speak."

i'm to fucking insane for this to turn me on

"oh fuck yes please punish me, I dererve it im a bad girl" I whimper. He simply smiles and groans out "oh yeah baby you are I say the punishment fits the crime"

He then slaps my ass, and I let out a slight gasp. "fuck your practically dripping, you like that don't you" he demands while slapping the other cheek.

"Count slut" he says while he spanks my right bum.

"one"

Smack

"two"

Smack

"three" I whimper how can pain fee; so good

Smack

"four"

Smack

"five" im tearing up from the intense feeling

Smack!

"six"

Draco put all his force in the last one I couldn't help but cry out and moan at the same time.

he messages my red flesh and leans down to kiss it "fuck baby you did so good, you take my punishment like a good girl.

he then proceeds to reach down my heat and feels how wet I am I let out an involuntary moan and my thighs tremble lightly .

all of a sudden im flipped on my back and he then proceeds to kiss me, we are both turned on we are making out without a care in the world its messy and hot and we don't care, I gasp for air and he then starts to kiss done my body while kissing each breast with such determination, I forget how to breath. "Draco please, I can't I need to feel you" I gasp

"you will baby soon, I gotta make sure your nice and prepped" he says while kissing the inside of my thighs

he grips my my thighs that are placed over his shoulders and I can see the dents in my skin his long fingers are doing.

I feel a long wet lick going up making me shiver and right when he licks my clit and sucks hard, so roughly nibbling on it. Giving me a sense of pain and pleasure at the same time not able to control myself I let out shrieks and moan; trying so hard to keep it in.

he can easily charm the room, but something about someone hearing the sounds of pleasure rattles Draco in a way that challenges him to challenge me. I can't take the pleasure the way his lips suck my clit then enters his tongue in and out of my pussy makes me gasp.

"yes, yess, ohhhhh fuck " I moaned out in high pitch

ohh yes, yes don't stop, ohh fuuu-" I became inherent too focused on my pleasure to even

next thing I know he enters his long cold fingers once again and curls them which makes me gasp and wither . "ahhhhh yess, fuck yes" I can't stop screaming

he looks up with is cold grey eyes and smiles.

" you like that dont you. oh fuck yes look at you its like your begging for it. ima fuck you so good, for that little stunt you pulled" he seethed

I couldn't take it anymore I couldn't hold it I came so hard. "ohhh fuccc, ahhhhh" i couldn't control it my juices sprayed Dracos hands, he would stop he kept curling his fingers in me. I was so sensitive my legs were shaking I was shivering with over stimulation.

he crawls up toward me looking into my eyes and smiles and kisses me hard with love and compassion, we break apart nose touching.

he keeps eye contact and tells me " your such a good fucking girl you know that, merlin you come too good." he exhales with such satisfaction.

"you know I love you right" he looks at me with adoration

"of course, I made you repeat it like three times" I giggled

"good because im going to fuck you like I hate you" he says dropping his smile into something sadistic

he quickly pulls away and flips me on my stomach again picking up my legs to balance myself. He slaps my ass and enters me slow to accommodate his huge size and after a while he pulls out and and pounds into to me with no mercy.

my eyes cross as the sudden intrusion draco grabs my hips and continues to pound me from behind the room filling with skin slapping and moaning. thrusting into me with such determination and ruthlessness I can't stop screaming

"holy fucking shit take my cock you dirty girl" he tells me groping my hips hard where my skin starts to tingle and pound into me relentlessly.

"ohh yes , yes fuck me I deserve it" I grip him so hard having his cock enter my pussy nonstop.

draco then grabs my hair by the roots and pulls my head back and puts his face above mine "you like being treated this way being used like some possession a slut just for me, now open that goddamn mouth" as I obeyed his order he spat in my mouth and I swallowed it with delight then kissed me it was messy and wet but we didn't care all we focused on is the pleasure of him fucking me roughly.

"holy fuck i'm gonna come, i'm so close" I screamed he then spared me hard and pulled away. I shivered from the emptiness

"you better hold it cause i'm not done" he whispered in my ear, suddenly he flips me on my back and grabs me by my thighs and hooks his hand under by leg onto hip and enters me again with more passion and fill me up all the way I can feel the warmth of his cock invading me while he controls me moving ui and down due to his hands moving me on his cock he groans and huffs from the squeezing of my walls.

"yes- yes -yes" I say in high voice small tears forming my eyes from the pleasure and I can't handle it "hell yeah baby cry those happy tears for me milk me like a good girl". h go forward and puts his weight on his hand on my throat and goes at a faster pace pounding me while squeezing my throat I couldn't handle this amount of pleasure

"fuck mee yesss ahhhhh" I come hard around his cock I can't take it y eyes roll to the back of my head while he lowers his pace but takes deep thrust while he comes in me.

"look at me while I come in you dirty girl, fuck yes you like that, me filling your pussy take it like a good girl" he says as he empties out inside me as I calm down from my high .

he pulls out and I whimper from the emptiness he kisses the side of my calf and sides at me as he relaxes my legs and joins me next to the bed and we look up at the ceiling in exhaustion.

draco is the first to look at me he Tuens his head "you should slap me more often" I laugh at his comment "the way you act there would probably be plenty" I say turning my body and lean top to look down at his beautiful face "I guess its only fair that I should apologize to you"

"uhh yeah sounds reasonable" he smiles at me twirling the end of my hair

"good then"

"waiting for my apology"he looks at me with a smug face, and I look at him confused "I just did, didn't you hear me."

"what you said you should apologize but you didn't do the action" he says smugly

" take it or leave it ferret" I say and I wrinkle my nose in his face and he does it back reaches up and kisses me. "oh you love testing my patience don't you babygirl"

"all joking aside I really am sorry for invading your privacy and going all phyco" I admit with guilt and embarrassment

"I will admit it was kinda a turn on especially your little rant about us getting married" he snickered

"please forget about that I was seething I don't know why I was saying all that.... out loud" I added and he pulled me down to lay on his chest underneath the covers and made me look in his eyes "that all I think about and dream every night darling, because I love you" he confessed and I swear to merlin I came a third time.

"good because I love you too" I respond and all was right I put my head on his chest and basked in each others company

" So in this vision do we have a dog: draco asked and you always loved his soft spot for animals and remembered he was never allowed to have a pet.

" No, but there is a ferret" and si felt a smack on my ass I laughed " of Course there is a dog, you couldn't pick one so you chose both"

"good" he said and smiled pecked my lips and held me as we fell into the night slumber.

[vitzi9]

Patience is the key to success (2)

Masterlist if you want to read my others things. Part 1 here.

CW/TW: yandere-manipulative-obsessive-stalker-ethan, fem reader, smut, no p in v, depressed reader(but really), suicidal thoughts

i'm trying to post this quick because I crave attention, whatever its insults, compliments, likes or repost, idc. I want ppl to know i'm existing. i have a big oral test tomorrow and im really bad at speaking before someone (hence why im writing instead) so i just need to know im not totally useless in the society and that im, at the very least, making people enjoy my things. sorry for the rant, i have a big headhache, probably gonna die ✌️😚

the smut is really bad btw but like really but im bad at writing them but i need to to improve (26/06/2023) (5226 words)

"Let's just finish watching the movie now." you say and Ethan doesn't make you repeat as he goes straight to the couch.

You felt much better after that little talk. Ethan did not say much but in his words, there was a lot more. He was planning to be with you a long time. He does not want to ruin things. It made you so happy. Every fiber in you was warm thinking of it. You were at peace.

Ethan was calm after that, albeit moving uncomfortably sometimes. (maybe because of his boner?) He was just as cuddly as when you arrived. His head laid flat on your chest, rising up and down with each one of your breath. Your fingers brush his curl slowly as you hear his breathing slacken. You were giddy thinking about him being at peace with you, too.

His arms were closed tightly around your body, never letting you go. The movie was really advanced by now, the end was coming soon. It probably was something towards 11AM. Usually, you would have gone knock at your friend's house but there was no need now as you already saw her earlier.

When the movie fatefully ended, the credits start to roll but none of you moved an inch. Ethan rubs his cheeks against your chest before sighing happily. His eyes were closed. Was he asleep ? No, certainly not. He loves horror movie. He wouldn't fall asleep when one is ongoing.

He was cute here. You were delighted to think he trusted you enough to let his guards down and sleep with you. You were his safeplace. And he was yours. Your fingers trail down on his back where you draw small patterns dreamily. You write things, that cross your mind. You simply scratch him. His sudden speaking startle you. Your hand stopping evey movements.

"Are you sleeping far from here, today ? Every movements of his jaw hitting slightly on your chest. 'today' because he knew about your frequent change of home.

Relaxing, you continue to caress his back lovingly.

-No, not really. But I don't sleep there anymore.

The hotel too was starting to worry you. Like the building was shrieking on you. You don't know what was scarier, to be alone or to never be. And now that you found such a warm place, you don't want to leave. Ever.

-Why ?

-Scare me, s'all.

-You can sleep here tonight, if you want.

-Why ? Your decision was already made; you'd sleep here. You knew it the second he offered you to stay the night. But you wanted to see his arguments to convince you.

"Let me be with you." his sentence made a shiver run down your back.

Did that stalker fucked you up so hard you had chill even thinking about them? It was just a damn sentence. Everyone can say it. For god's sake, it's Ethan saying it of all people. Even if he awoke this uneasy feeling back, you couldn't blame him. He didn't know about the sign the criminal had shown you. You didn't tell him that much detail, only saying they had indeed brought creepy signs but omitting what was written on it. And Ethan said it so prettily, too. Yes, of course you'd be with him.

He told you you never slept here before and that you'd be safe anyway since he's here and don't plan on leaving you. So you accepted. It was really early in the day but the both of you were getting sleepy because of the calm and comfort of the situation. He offered you to go to his room which you accepted. After guiding you to there, he tells you he has to go grab something and that he'd be back really quick.

And he did, in fact, came back really quick.

By then, you were already sprawled out on his bed. You had time to see the mess he had scattered everywhere. The carboard, the books, the drawings, some letters, too. And you even found out about his second phone. The lockscreen was a generic one, the one you have by default, as if he just got it recently. But the phone wasn't new, it seems in contrary really old as it was broken at some area.

Ethan arrives in the room with a small plastic blue square packaging, you don't have time to see what it was that he throws it under the bed. You don't pay it too much attention. Playing mindlessly with his other phone in hand, you take off and put back the phone case of it to entertain yourself.

"You got two phones ? you ask even though you kind of knew the answer already.

-Oh, yes. One is for games only, the other is the one I'm really using. Did you went on it ?

-No, don't worry, I won't frisk into your secret criminal life."

He smiles before taking the phone out of your hand. He places it in the drawer of his nightstand. Ethan falls on top of you, taking your breath away for a moment. You laugh and hit his back for him to get away from you and he just laugh heartly before letting himself fall beside you.

He lays down, setting his head on his arm, looking up at you with stars in eyes. Sometimes, he's so pretty it hurt physically to look at him. Starting to get embarrassed by his insistent look, you find something to say.

-Why do you have so much pieces of cardboard anyway ?

-I make placards out of them.

With a fond smile, Ethan stares straight at your eyes. As if waiting for you to say something. You would have ask questions about his 'placards ' if not for the sudden interest he was displaying in you, which, instead, made you change subject without really noticing it. A nervous laugh escaping you.

-Why are you looking at me like that ? Is there an undertone ? Am I supposed to understand something ?"

He shakes his head negatively, displaying a small mischievous smile. He could be such a goblin at times ! Wanting to make him swallow his pride, you lean towards him and kiss his lips. Ethan smiles and moves his lips with yours.

Your arm set down on his waist and soon the kiss get heated. Ethan's body is burning, his breath is too. You don't let each other breath, as soon as you separate from each other, you plunge back in. Physically needing the contact.

You rise on your knee, arching your back to kiss him still laying flat on the bed. Soon, he joins you by rising as well. Both of you on your knees, face to face, eating each other's face. Ethan's hand are mahandling you to sit on his thights. Then, with his surprising strenght, he starts sliding you on them. Your heating pussy rubbing directly on the fabric of his pant. Your hand instinctivly goes to rub the growing tent in his trousers. The area was hot, when you slide your fingers on it, it would budge.

Ethan whimpers, thrusting his hips against yours. You straddle him completly, framing his his body with your legs. You rub his tent against your clit for some frictions. It was aching and growing more desperate by seconds.

"I... I wanna have sex with you." Ethan says softly.

You kiss his cheek, going for his neck. You answer with a meek 'me too' before sucking the skin of his neck. Ethan backs his head, already out of breath. He gives you full access to his body, still rutting desperatly his hips into yours.

But you were growing impatient. You lift your body from him, making him whine at the contact loss, before sliding your fingers behind the elastic of his pants. You slip it down to his knees before you start salivating at the sight of his hard cock already drooling for you.

He didn't have any underwear. That's why you could feel him so close to your core.

Your hand touch his thight, caressing gently his body. Making sure to avoid the area he need you the most. Ethan try to touch himself, tired of your teasing, but you slap his hand away. He whines and looks up at you with teary eyes. Silently begging you to do something. It was impossible for you to resist him.

Your hand grabs his cock in one motion, you could feel it pulse and its warmth propagate in your hand. It was already so so wet because of all his precum, your hand was sliding so easily you could have thought he came multiple times already. Gently, you start to move your hand on all its lenght slowly. The boy props himself on his elbows and look at the scene before him. Ethan sighs happily, eyes closing and head backing. He's in heaven, he thinks. But not entirely, as he looks at you still clothed.

"Want to... Want to finger you..." he pleas.

In front of a boy so desperate, and being incredibly horny, you slide your pant down, making sure your underwear went with it. Ethan lose every one of his braincells when he sees your bare pussy glistening with your love juice. He wanted to lick it bad. That's the only one fanstam he ever had that help him getting off so hard he can't move for a whole minute. He wants to drown himself in your juice. But you have others projects.

You guide his pointer finger to your lips. Ethan starts caressing it and smear your juice everywhere. His lift up another finger and start passing both of them on your lips.

"Here, you have to touch here." you say, pointing to your clit.

You move briefly to bring your genitals closer. You could feel each other's warmth emanating from your core. Seeing him try to touch you was so hot. He was listening to everything you said.

Soon getting the hang of it, he starts circling your clit, applying different pressure on it to see which one were you reacting the most to. Slowly, you quicken your pace on his hard cock. As if to reward him for being such a good boy. He was in a trance, eyes closing and opening. And when they opened, they were staring with a utmost care at your moving breast throught your shirt. Your nipples were hard and were poking through the fabric.

His eyes were glued to it. Understanding his want, you lift your shirt above your collarbone with your free hand. Ethan can't seem to take off his eyes of you. They're probably the first pair of breasts he sees in real life after all.

"Fuck... You're so pretty, love." you speed up on his shaft at his praise. "Fuck, fuck...

-You can touch baby.

-I can?"

He stops all movements to your pussy, your frown but let him discover his needs. It was his first time, you needed to let him have a little fun. His free hand touch one of your breast, massaging it then weighten it in the palm of his hand. He smiles like an idiot, an idiot so cute you let him do what he wants with you. His other, wet, hand pinch lightly your sensitive bud.

Your free hand slap his arm to make him understand he did it too hard. He sends you an apologatic smile.

"They're like stress ball."

Amused by the weird comparison, your chuckle. Still impatient to come, you guide your hand higher on his cock to caress his tip and rub it. His face contorts in pleasure, browns frows and mouth ajar. His forehead fall on your shoulder while his fingers go back down near your entrance. His hips were thrusting into nothing but your hand. Obscene wet noises were resulted. You were hot, terrribly hot but so was he.

Ethan's small puff of breath sends chill in your body. His whimpers couldn't be replaced with anyone else. Your hand was all wet and sticky, as was his. Ethan decides to enter once again two of his digits in you. Your head falls back and you sigh happily at finally scratching that itch in you.

"Curl your fingers, E." you whisper.

He hums and do as told. Curling his fingers in you, he starts to thrust them in and out at a slow pace, adopting the same sensuality you used to jerk him off. You accelerate, your hand no longer lingering on the entire shaft. Sometimes, you'd stop completly to hear him whine. Your thumb caressing his cock's veins.

"Baby please..." he pleas.

Ethan starts kissing sloppily your shoulder, your neck. You, on the other hand, take his hand to guide the thrust of his fingers, angling them correctly for them to touch that spongy spot inside. His fingers were long and thin, that was a part of him you absolutly loved. You always had a thing for pretty hands and his were beautiful.

"What do you want, love? you ask tenderly.

-Tell me you love me..."

You nudge his hair with your nose and he looks up. Staring at his eyes, you see them wet with tears. You kiss him instantly. Playing with his tongue with yours, your hand moving faster and faster. You stop the kiss to tell him you love him and he bites his lips, eyes closing.

His breath is jerky, uneven. You press his palm against your clit, rubbing it while you push his fingers inside you again. You feel a knot tighten. You won't last long.

"Tell me you love me.

-I love you E, you're doing so good.

-Again..."

You said it as many times as he needed to feel better. His hips stuttters, his cock quivers. His words are slurred to each other, resulting in incomprehensible blabbering. You don't lose the rythm, keeping the same pace until he'd eventually come.

-Love you so..." he whines.

His body tense, his breath stops. You can only hear the wet sounds your hand is producing. He doesn't utter a sound until spurts of cum smear on your hand and belly. Feeling at ease, he moans a last time from relief and breath again.

You're not far behind. Ethan being pratically knocked out, you grind on his hand. You close your thighs around it, ensuring it stay inside. Your legs are shaking, wave of hot and cold invade you. You plunge his fingers inside but, to your surprise, Ethan regains control and start pounding into you to get you to your end.

He kisses your neck while you finally come on his fingers, sweaty and disvesheled. You swear one last time when he withdraws his fingers. You stay here for a while, just hugging , breathing and basking in each other's presence.

After some minutes, you decide to go shower together. You end up finally getting a good night of sleep, cuddled in his strong arms.

The next day, Ethan and you had a stupid satisfied smile on your face. Both happy to be here. You kissed and confessed your love to each other all morning until eventually he had to leave for work. Sadly, you had things to do, too. Ethan offered you to stay and sleep here for a few nights because he wanted to stay close to you.

You liked this idea. Of course you liked it, you love Ethan. And to convince you further, he told you his roomate wouldn't mind. So naturally you accepted. You were embarassed at the idea of bothering his roomate but you decided you would just sleep here, and the day, you'd let the apartment free. It was his too, after all. Not only Ethan's. There is no way you'd let someone feel excluded in their own house.

Grabbing your phone, you click on your friend's number. You call her, the ringing echoes three times and no one answer. Somehow begrudgingly, you resume yourself at simply sending a text. Just for you to instantly forgetting your sorrow as she answers. The discussion was quite simple, she was telling you she was at her grandma right now. She was bored and wanted to know how you were doing.

'I'm going back to my dear haunted apartment, probably gonna die. Wish me luck.' you texted. She put a little more time answering this one. It's possible it triggered something in her. After everything she endured. 'nobody will hurt you as long as i'm alive' she said. She simply changed subjects after that. Asking you about the cute guy you told her about in the letters. And so you explained everything. Every time you tried to offer to call her, she'd decline. You were still sad she didn't want to talk to you but you were telling yourself you needed to be patient.

On a happier note, you decided to leave the place to go to your own apartment.

To one point, you should have known better than be too happy about your improving situation. Of course, it was well too soon for you to consider everything better. But you were probably stupid because the fall hit you much harder than you could've prepared yourself for. Oh, the pain you felt when reality had finally caught you. You thought you were going to die when you came back home to simply grab some clothes. (Ethan told you to do so.)

Your door was ajar. But it wasn't your doing. No, of course it wasn't you. Your apartement terrified you, why would you come here more ofthen than needed ? You felt your body freeze but you quickly overcame the feeling. That's it. You needed it to end. This fucking stalker had ruined you. You and your life. You sent a text to Ethan, telling him that if you do not call him after twenty minutes, he needed to call the cops. He didn't answer. He was at work. It was well past eleven by now.

Your heart was beating so hard you thought it was going to collapse on the ground, and you with it. Slowly, aware of every sound around you, you push the door. Your livingroom was as messy as you had left it. At one difference, the wall. Every frame you had put up on the walls were thrown away. Most of them on the ground and broken, with shattered glasses everywhere.

Why would the creep empty the walls ? To write on it. Of course they would write on it. You laugh bitterly for yourself. You couldn't see their stupids fucking signs anymore, so they had to improve. To force you to read their creepy obsessive text. You hear the crushing of a broken piece of glass, as if someone had stepped on it. But it wasn't you.

You're on alert. Every one of your senses on crisis. Was your mind playing tricks on you ? It was possible in this hellish house who did nothing but give you nightmares recently. You don't realize how you stopped breathing. Only calming when three long minutes had gone without another sound to be heard.

Nothing is here. You're alone, you think. Everything is good. You'll just grab your stuff and leave. Regaining your breath, you bring your attention back on the wall. Words were written on it in deep crimson red. Is that blood ? No, it can't be. Probably paint to give a creepy look that'll catch your attention. You approach the wall to better understand the message.

'She's not here anymore'

The need to throw up almost won. A dark feeling in your guts was telling you 'she' was your friend. But you didn't know. She responded to you, after all. You talked to her. So she had to be okay. She had to. You put your hand on your belly to soothe that want to vomit. You take big breath before finally leaving the livingroom. You quickly make your way to your room where you meet your bare bed. Where are your sheets ? What the hell ? But you don't want to stay longer so you throw clothes in your bag in a hurry.

The front door slam shut. And you know it's the end.

You already feel the tears drowning your sight. Trying to stay silent, you hide in your closet almost empty with how many times you came here to grab clothes. Your hand clasp against your mouth to avoid doing any noise.

Slow footsteps can be heard in the empty apartment. With your shaky hands, you fail to unlock your phone. Your vision is blurry, you can't touch the correct keys. The worst is that you can't see where the creep is. If they stay silent, they can enter the room you're in without you even noticing. And this idea is horrifying. But on another side, you'd preferred them to kill you by surprise so you don't have to affront them.

Your cries intensify, in your despair, you drop your phone straight on the ground. The footsteps stops abrutly. Three distincts knocks are echoing on the corridor's wall. They are coming toward you. You're fucked. They're coming ! What do you do ? What did you do ? Why is this happening ?

Kneeling like you could in the closed space, you reach your hand to grab your phone. As soon as your finger grazes it, the phone vibrate and your ringtone start playing for the whole building to hear. No, no, no, no, no ! Ethan. Ethan is calling you. You pick up despite everything but as soon as you do so, the call is cut short. Fuck E, why would you do that !

The criminal's footsteps are louder, quicker, heavier. They're running. They're running here ! You hold the closet door shut with your both hands, praying for your life. You only have knives in your kitchen, but it's too late now. If you go out, they'll see you. You realized at that moment that whatever you were doing, you couldn't win. That you never even stood a chance against them.

Everything was illusion.

Nothing was improving, you knew it, in fact. You were lying to yourself, searching comfort in a man that don't even understand the dept of the problem. Of your problem. And your friend ? You don't want to talk about her. You don't want to open your eyes just yet. You just want to live in your nice little lies you made up for yourself. You're nice with them, in fact, you like them. Nobody wanted to help you anyway. They could have saved you, you and her, but nobody listened.

Now, it's too late.

The closet start to shake. Widening your eyes, you realize that the creep had start to punch it with their bare fist. You don't give a fuck about being heard anymore, you're bailing your eyes out. Begging for them to let you go, screaming, yelling, calling for help. Holding the door for dear life as if it was going to save you, because in your head it was. But the door didn't last long.

A hole is quickly created in the door. You thought you'd see someone's face, wether it be a man, a woman, whatever. But you saw a white plastic mask instead.

Ghostface.

Why was a damn Ghostface chasing after you? Was it all a sick joke from the start ? You swear you were seeing his eyes boring into yours through the mask. You swore you already saw them somewhere. Ghostface tilts their face to the side, as if mocking you. They were telling you that you were stuck, that it was the end. You hoped they'd kill you.

You couldn't live like this anymore.

In the hole of the closet, Ghostface pass his gloved hand. The latter lay on your shaky face, on your cheek to be exact. You feel the fabric against your skin and think of biting his fingers off. No, you'll angry him. If he's going to kill you, that it be in the least painful way.

"Ethan, right ? Does he treat you so well you forgot about me?" his changed voice said. A weird and creepy robotic voice, one you knew you'd never forget.

You were moving your head left to right. You didn't know why. Probably to tell you didn't want to die, probably to avoid looking into his eyes. He laughs, sounding like a rumbling.

"Ending things right now would be such a waste."

No ! You thought you were finally free ! Why would he chases you down for so long without acting on it !? His gloved hand retract and the door slowly open in an acute creaking. The man is finally revealed before you. He was wearing the whole outfit, the big black robe and the hood.

"It was fun. I give you a gift to reward you for these beautiful screams."

And the knife.

He had a knife in hand. And it was tinged red. Something in you told you it was her. Suddenly, the red writings on your wall had a different meaning.

"I hope you like it, I worked extra hard for it."

Out of nowhere, Ghostface takes your hand, force it open, and lay in it something before forcing it closed. He laughs deeply. One of his hand pat your head mockingly before moving up.

"See you later." he said, swinging his knife in a playful manner.

You were absolutely paralyzed. You didn't know what happened. You stayed up without moving for whoever say how long. When your legs finally stopped shaking, you decided to look what the killer had gave you. Slowly opening your hand, your knee buckle and you fall to the ground crying silently at the sight of a nip of your friend's hair.

You curled up on yourself before completly laying down on the ground, tightening the hairs in your hand close to your heart. She was not here anymore. You wanted to fucking die.

Ever since, Ethan was forgotten. He had tried to call you so many times you had blocked his number. You spent the rest of the day crying in your hotel's room. You resented him. So hard. He didn't answer, he was the one calling and giving your position to a fucking criminal, to a murderer! And he didn't answer. He didn't help, like everyone else.

One day later, neighbors complained about a smell coming from an apartment. You didn't cry when they found your friend's dead body. You didn't cry when cops came to interrogate you. The caretaker having told them about you. Your eyes contained so much hatred in them when looking at him the cops had to let him leave to get him away from you. You didn't cry telling the cops how many times you went to see them to ask for help, nor how many times did they reject you. You didn't cry when they told you she was dead for at least a week, and that her boyfriend was missing. You had no tears left in you. It had simply ended you.

All your lies, every single one of them, destroyed. But you needed them. Of course you weren't talking to her by text, you never did. And fuck, you don't even want to know who was answering instead of her. It was so obvious how she never wanted to call, how she was never leaving her house. But the eye you saw at the peephole. The fucking eye...

You don't want to think about it.

Ethan tried to talk to you. He went to your hotel and found you. You didn't bother to move this time as you were done with your life. He fell to his knee and started begging and crying for your forgivness. Did you even love him ? Or were you, are you, just lonely ? Unfortunately, you decided to forgot the anger you had against him when you realized he was the only thing you had. Your only support. The only one knowing you were a victim. You spent the days crying in his arms.

"Shhh, shhh, I'm here, love. It's okay." he reassured you, again.

It was a routine, now. You'd sleep the days away and when you'd wake up, you'd find yourself crying inconsolably. Everything was your fault, you kept repeating in your head. She's fucking dead because of you.

You wanted to end it all but Ethan wanted you alive at every cost. He was brushing your hair, feeding, washing and changing you. You were a lifeless doll. Sometimes, his roomate would come and talk to you. Most of the times, you don't even realize he's talking to you, too lost in your thought to proceed his presence.

"It's okay, everything's okay."

Ethan hugs you firmly. Kissing your hairline. His t-shirt was damped. Your eyes were burning. Every time you closed them, the picture of your friend would come and haunt you, a new nightmare coming. You weren't able to think about something else anymore. But it was your fault. You put her in danger, you got her killed. It was you Ghostface wanted, not her. You got her killed.

"I want to leave..." you whispered in a voice so hoarse, so weak, it didn't sound like yours. His hand goes on the back of your head to pull you towards him.

"No, no my love. It's okay. I'll protect you. You won't be alone anymore." his leg goes over yours and crushes them to prevents you from moving.

Alone.

Have you ever been alone in your life ? No, he was here all along. He was watching you all along. You never were truly alone. He had your adress, your friend's adress, your number and even Ethan's name. No, he's always here. Lurking.

"Just... Stay with me, I'll protect you. Please, don't leave me." he begs.

He looked calm, surprisingly calm being given the situation. But you needed it, in a way. If he doesn't freak out, you don't need to. (you coudn't, even if you wanted to) He probably know what to do. It was too late for you but he could do something. Maybe. His behaviour was slightly comforting. It was dangerous, mostly for him. He probably didn't even know what he was doing, he probably didn't know what he was getting himself into, in fact.

But once, just for once, you wanted to be helped. You wanted someone to listen to your pleas. He was going to die, it was a fact. And yeah, maybe you were selfish, you were condamning him after all.

"I feel like I'm using you. Like I manipulated you. you say, mostly for your own conscience than for his safety.

-Use me, love. I don't care. Manipulate me, whatever. I swore I'd help you. And if I have to risk my life doing it, I'll do it. I love you. You don't know the things I'd do for you.

-Now, you're the one manipulating me...

It was true. He was forcing you to think you had a chance in getting out of this situation when you knew there were none.

-Oh baby, you have no idea how manipulative I can be to obtain what I want.

-If you say so." you whisper, drifting to sleep once again, knowing you'd wake up hours later in the same position, in the same problem and knowing you killed your friend.

[a-fuckin-husk]

Husker was in a foul mood. "Grumpy" didn't cut it. From the moment he wandered down into the lobby, he snapped at anybody who dared come near and pressed him for anything more than an early-morning drink—which was no one. Literally nobody drank at 8 AM except for- ANYWAYS! It didn't matter.

Every once and a while, he would glance at the staircase, as if waiting for—

He picked listlessly at his breakfast. He was agitated, hardly paying attention to anything anybody had to say. He even snapped at Alastor, who was so taken aback that he merely narrowed his eyes but, luckily, didn't say anything else. For fuck's sake, he even told Pen to "shut the fuck up!" which was completely uncharacteristic because, even though he thought the snake demon's drivel was asenine, it was usually tolerable.

He couldn't stop glancing at the staircase.

It was nearly 3 in the afternoon when Angel Dust finally wandered downstairs. Husk could hardly begrudge him the late awakening, he hadn't even returned home to the hotel until nearly 6 AM.

But when he did finally make an appearance, the barcat's attitude shifted completely. Instead of irritable and distracted, he was suddenly anxious and restless. He did his very best to seem casual—he even went as far as to avoid Angel until the sinner approached his bar. And when the spider finally sat down, Husk turned his back to him, reaching, almost frantically, for a glass to polish.

"What d'ya want?" Husk asked. His tone was harsher than he meant it, but he was so focused on trying to stop his hands from shaking, that he almost didn't notice.

Honestly? Whatever Angel said, whatever he'd ordered, Husk didn't hear it. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Instead, he fixed Angel's usual, passed it to him, and said, "Listen, I went out gamblin' last night with some buddies of mine and they... Alright, so, don't read too much into this, okay?"

Christ, his heart was pounding so rapidly he could hardly think straight.

"I was playing poker with some buddies last night and one of 'em could play the tab, see? Well, it was late and we were all wasted, so we decided to let 'im bet whatever he wanted just 'cause we wanted to keep playin'. So he bets- look. It doesn't matter, okay?" He snapped, cutting himself off abruptly.

Husk only rambled when he was telling tall tails, and he seemed to remember that when his story suddenly stopped.

"Listen, just... Fuckin'... Fuck. Shut the fuck up, okay? Don't fuckin' say anything," he grumbled, before stooping under his bar to retrieve two boxes—a flat, rectangular box made of white cardboard, and a small, square jewelry box covered in black velvet.

"My point is: I won this shit in the poker game last night, but it isn't my style so I figured I'd give it to you. Take it or leave it, I don't give a shit,"

Except, of course, he did give a shit. Inside of the larger box was a gorgeous, rich blue, silk dress. Blue dye was extraordinarily difficult to find in hell—think Tyrian purple... But blue—so the dress was obviously expensive. And inside of the jewelry box was a pair of dangling gold earrings with sapphires. The earrings matched the dress and the color of the dress perfectly matched Angel's white and pink fur.

Obviously, there had been no poker game. Husker had saved up money and bought Angel a very nice dress and matching earrings... Just because. Angel deserved nice things—things that weren't tainted by Valentino. And these things? They were no-strings-attached, Husk emphasized as much with the sheer commitment to his stupid little lie about a non-existent poker game. After all, if he presented them as gifts that he'd painstakingly picked out, Angel might feel like he owed husk something, and the barcat didn't want that. So, it was better to pretend like all of this was a coincidence, like the lovely silk dress and the gold earrings were nothing more than ha d-me-downs that Husk didn't know the true value of. That way, Angel wouldn't feel obligated him. That way, Angel could have something nice, like he deserved, no strings attached.

"Sorry it isn't pink or whatever," he said, even though he knew that Angel would know the value of the color. "If you hate it, just toss it in the dumpster put back, I don't give a shit,"

Oh dear, his voice was shaking, as were his hands. In fact, he had to turn his back to Angel once again, just to hide the heat creeping across his face.

[hikarry]

There should be more Good Omens x Supernatural crossovers

Fanart, fanfics, idc

Just

Castiel and Aziraphale's relationship would be fucking bomb! Hell, even Sam and Aziraphale's! They could be fucking nerds together

And don't get me stared on Crowley and Dean's dynamic! I just know they would absolutely annoy the fuck out of each other but become fast friends that just, ya know, thrive over fucking roasting each other but they would geek out over the other's car and music together. Just 🤌🏻 Crowley taking the shit out of Dean for him not only being American, but from bloody Texas of all places and Dean making a fake atupid British accent to annoy the shit out of Crowley because

Dean: "Look at me. Im a stupid demon that of all places in the world chose to become a fucking honorary Brit. How I love myself my stupid little tea at noon and pretend like I'm better than everybody else"

Crowley; "Listen here, you bloody Yankee, first off, tea is not my thing. Good whiskey, me. And I'm not bloody British! I'm a demon!"

Dean: "You sure act like one, posh bastard"

Crowley; "Posh? It's called having bloody manners! You fucking Americans must have lost them when you killed all the bloody natives and then came up with a stupid arse of a holiday to pretend you are the good guys"

Dean: "Says the Brit. Just the guys that enslaved half of the world and killed the other half."

Crowley: "I am not fucking British!"

Aziraphale: "He's right, Dean, dear. Technically we are not British. We don't have any nationality. We can speak every language and are nationless. Besides, we weren't involved with Britain's colonization. Actually, I believe Crowley spent most of his time in Iceland back in that century."

Crowley: "Oh yeah. We can speak every language but French, eh?"

Aziraphale: "We don't talk about that."

Castiel: "What's the problem with French?"

Crowley: "The problem is Aziraphale is absolute shit at it. It almost got him discorporated back in the French Revolution. Heavens, he can barely order a crepe when we go to Paris."

Castiel: "Why? It's in our nature to speak every language"

Aziraphale: "Oh for the love of all that's holy....I just decided to learn it the hard way, yes? Thought it might be fun."

Crowley: "Yeah. Just like the magic lessons you took. Which you are also shit at, by the way."

Sam: "Can't you like, do real magic?"

Crowley: "Precisely. But angel over here decided human magic was fun."

Aziraphale: "And I am correct! It's not my fault you are a cinic!"

Crowley: "You mean realistic. Every time I've seen you try to perform magic it's an absolute disaster. Embarrassing even."

Aziraphale: "Ah yes? What about my photo trick back in the 40s? Saved us, did it not?"

Crowley: "You did good there, yes. But, fucking Heavens angel-"

Dean: "Okay whatever. Let the fucking Brits have their little fight. We have work to do. Sammy, did you manage to locate the demon?"

Sam: "Actually, Aziraphale did."

Aziraphale: "It was quite easy, really. Crowley and I have dealt with them before"

Crowley: "You mean I saved your arse from them before"

Dean: "Oh for fucks sake, just let's go. Sammy, Cas, cmon."

Aziraphale: "Are you sure you don't want us to go? We could help."

Dean: "No. You both stay. Make up and makeout or whatever it is you do in your free time. We don't need you in the way"

Crowley: "Aziraphale, let's go. We gonna try and find some decent restaurant in this bloody city. Let them screw themselves. They will come begging for help before you know it"

Dean: "We've been dealing with demons for years, you pretentious fuck. We dunnot need your fucking help."

Crowley: "We've been alive for all the existence of humanity and have saved the world twice now."

Dean: "Big thing. We do that every other week. Open your mouth when you fight fucking God and then we will talk."

Sam: "Okay, okay, enough. You two go and do whatever it is that you want to do. We will reach out if we need help."

Aziraphale: "Jolly good. Come on, my dear. I've seen an amazing sushi restaurant down the street that looks decent enough."

[imaginesforeveryone]

Arranged (Part 1)

Pairing: Finn Shelby x Y/N Warnings: Swearing, slight angst, drinking, some racist comments summary: You were the youngest child of you fathers, being part of a mob family in the heart of New York, your family had many enemies in the city, and even further away, and your life was about to change after a Peaky Boy barged into your life.

Finn’s POV

“Finn! get a move on it. We have to be at the church in 30 minutes!” Finn heard his Aunt Pol yell from the hotel door. This was the day that he so much dreaded. The day where his big brother married him away to a family that he needed to become alliance with. He had no idea who his bride was. He had no clue what she looked like. All he knew is that she is a Gotti. One of the most notorious mob families in New York. He finished up getting ready, grabbing his suit jacket and pushing past his Aunt Pol. 

“Hey.” Pol said following behind him. 

“Finn. I’m speaking to you.” She said grabbing his arm. 

“What aunt Pol?” He said turning towards her with a whole bunch of sassy. 

“I’m going to need you to tone down that sass with me boy.” Pol said looking up at him with daggers. 

“Sorry Aunt Pol.” He said breathing out a deep breath. 

“What is wrong child?” She asked. 

“Pol. Im being married off to a fucking wop for one and for two its the fucking Gotti’s. I also have no clue who this women is. So excuse me for being nervous.” He spoke before turning to keep walking. 

“Finn, you had to know the day would be coming that you would be married off to someone. You’re a fucking gypsy for christ sakes. It only comes with time.” Pol said following next to him. 

“Yeah, Pol I get it.” He said not arguing with her anymore because there was no point. 

“You never know she could be the most beautiful women you laid your eyes on. Don’t be a little sissy. You’re a Shelby, and us Shelby’s can make anything work.” She spoke pinching his cheek before getting on the elevator.

Y/N POV

“Suck it in.” The maid that was behind you holding the strings of your corset to began pulling it tight on you. As she did so, you had to catch your breathe quickly. 

“Fuck Amy. ” You breathed out to her. 

“Beauty is pain love, I’m sorry.” She said as she did up the corset. Women stood all around you making your hair perfect, and making sure your make up was on perfectly. It was just about time to get your dress on, but you mother wasn’t there yet. Starting to freak out a bit, you paced around the room in just your corset, heels, panties, stocking, and a garter. 

“Love calm down. It will be okay.” You heard the soothing sound of your mothers voice behind you. You smiled turning around and giving her a huge hug. 

“I’m going to miss you.” You whispered to her trying not to cry so you didn’t mess up your make up. 

“I’ll see you, don’t you worry your pretty little head. Now let’s not mess up this beautiful masterpiece with tears and smoothering.” She said taking a step back looking at your hair and make up. 

“Now come.” She said walking towards the big windows that overlooked New York City, and where your dress hung. It was nothing too crazy, simply white, silk, with small beading on the side to complement your already existing curves. You stood as your mother opened the dress so you could step into it. Shimmying it up your body and it laying so perfect upon every part of you, with an open back showing off the family crest tattoo you had directly on the top of you neck. She grabbed your veil that fell way longer than your dress, but brought the whole thing together. 

“Mom.” You almost whispered. 

“Yes darling.” She said as she fluffed out the veil to see how it will look when you walked down the aisle. 

“I’m marrying a Peaky boy right?” You asked her. 

“Yes darling.” She said little chocked up. 

“Will I be safe?” You asked. She took a few steps to round to the front of you. 

“You will be more than safe with them. As much as I’d love for you to stay in New York, sadly thats not how this arrangement works. But, they have agreed for us to come to England to visit you, and for you and your husband to travel here. This day is a cause for a big alliance in our families history.” She said gently caressing your face. You smiled at her. 

“What if he’s ugly?” You asked with a slight giggle. 

“I don’t think a Shelby boy can be ugly love. Its just not in their genes. But hey, it might be your luck.” She said with a pinch of your cheek and a giggle. 

“Alright, lets getting going.” She said rounding behind you to pick up your veil and follow you down the stairs of the church, to meet your father, who stood behind a closed door that you would enter in moments time to your new life. New husband. New family. 

“Hi, Daddy.” You said from behind him and holding your bouquet in your hands. 

“Oh, la mia bellissima figlia.” He spoked with a slight tear in his eyes. Which was weird for you to see because he was the most feared man in New York. 

“Come on love, let’s get your out there.” He said pulling your veil of your face.

“Don’t let me fall daddy.” You spoke quietly.

“Never, neonata.” He said with a smirk. As the piano sounded, and the doors began to open slowly, your stomach became in knots.

wow, that’s a long walk

You thought to yourself looking down the aisle. Everyone stood up around you, as you got closer you could see the face of the man you were about to marry. Definitely not ugly, definitely looks so innocent. Him being a Shelby it came to a surprise to you. 

Finn’s POV

“Arthur fuck off.” He spoke to his best man, who stood next to him at the alter trying to make him more nervous than he already was. 

“I’m just messing little brother. But really what if she’s ugly. What if she has big man feet that could trample you over.” Arthur whispered to him. He looked over at Thomas who sat the closest to the aisle and closest to the alter. 

“Look at all these fucking wops man. We waited long enough once, now look at us, waiting again. Full circle aye?” Arthur said nudging him to help calm him. 

“You’ll be fine brother. It will be great.” He spoke out once more. 

“Arthur shut up.” Finn heard Thomas say as he bent over the railing that separated them from the aisle. As he sat down Finn heard the piano begin, and everyone rise. He fixed his tie a bit, and the single flower that was pinned to his tux jacket, and making sure his hair was slicked back perfectly. Watching as the doors slowly opened, and seeing a very tall Italian man, arm in arm with a very short, women who had a veil covering her face. Clearing his throat he watched as she moved down the aisle. As she neared the end, her father lifts the veil and gave a kiss on either side of her face. Which he was in awe about. Looking over at Arthur for confirmation as to what he thought. He gave confirming face to him. 

Y/N POV

Finally walked down the whole length of the aisle, feeling like it just took you 20 minutes to do so. Your dad lifted your veil and kissed both cheeks before taking your hand and the man taking a step down off the two stairs you had to get up and putting his hand out to help you up. Causing a small smile to spread across your face, and also one spreading across his freckled cheeks. Hand in hand you looked at each other as the priest read from the Bible and having you say the words to the man that stood in front of you. 

“Do you Finn Shelby, take Y/N Gotti, to be wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health?” He asked looking over at Finn. 

“I do.” He said as he slipped the most beautiful ring on your small finger. 

“Do you Y/N Gotti, take Finn Shelby to be you husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health?” The priest asked motioning to you. 

“I do.” You said with a smile and taking Finn’s hand in yours and sliding the gold band around his thick finger and taking his hands into yours. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” He said as he closed the Bible and stepped back. You smirked up at him as he towered over you to lean down and kiss you. The whole place erupted. More from his side then yours, but that’s okay. As you kissed him, it felt, right? He was soft, not what you expected of a Shelby boy. Pulling away from you he smiled and took your hand in his leading you down the aisle once more as everyone threw bird seed at the two of you. You giggled and finally making it out and into the car that sat waiting for the newlyweds to enter the car.

I think this might work. You thought to your self as you look at Finn.

[ohbo-ohno]

Rereading that noncon Ghoap puppy walk fic bc it makes me go insane. And I have so many questions. How can Johnny even breathe? What did they do beforehand that the others just immediately incorporate it into their routine? Did Gaz encounter puppy!Soap before? What are Price and Gaz thoughts on all this (Bc fuck, their commentary killed me - asking about belly rubs and giving advise on punishment)? Do they think this is completely consensual? Or do they suspect that there is more going on? Do they hope that there is more going on? Are they getting off on the thought of participating even in the smallest of ways in breaking down Soap? If ever Soap got his brains together enough to ask for help, would they give it to him or would they push him to his knees and take him like they always dreamed of doing and then return him to Ghost?

ahhh day 11 kinktober. my longest and least popular drabble from that month LMAO. tysm for asking about it!

i actually mapped quite a bit of that fic out in my head! but because it's entirely from soap's perspective, there are questions that you just can't answer yk?

first of all - it's pure erotica, so it exists in that kind of limbo that all semi-public/public erotica exists in - you've got to suspend your disbelief a bit, just for the sake of horniness lmao

1 - johnny can breathe (through his nose, because the hood isn't sealed shut), but not well. he's breathing heavily throughout the entire fic because of both his panic and the fact that he can only breathe through his nose

2 - i think i said this in another ask but! it was supposed to be that when ghost left johnny tied up at the beginning of the fic, he was going around and making sure only certain people were on base (hence price asking why he didn't come sign his paperwork). no rookies, since they could potentially lose all respect for soap, and no people who he knew were going to be shitty about it. the people he was okay with seeing johnny, he'd go up and say basically "i'm going to be doing public kink here later. either go or don't complain later". there probably aren't all that many people actually still on base, just lots of people looping around the building to watch

3 - gaz has probably caught the Vibe before, just from the way that ghost treats soap (and neither of them are subtle). price probably knows the extent of it just because he's their captain and he knows everything about all of them, but he's content to let them be. also gaz is probably just a kinky as them lmao, he doesn't care

4 - im soooo mixed on the "do price and gaz know it's not entirely consensual" thing. my gut says that price knows that ghost is manipulating soap, and gaz suspects. i think gaz might get a little worried, try and ask soap about it, and be mollified when soap near aggressively defends ghost. but price? he knows everything about them, doesn't he? but i think price also knows that sometimes the best thing for someone isn't always the nicest... and soap seems better with ghost, seems better after his training. as long as ghost isn't destroying him, he'll let them be

(i looooved their commentary too. i very very rarely dabble in public humiliation, and it's got to be sooo specific for it to work for me, but i love it in that fic)

5 - they both 100000% get off on being involved. if they didn't, they'd step back a bit. price is always gonna get off on being in control (and im a big fan of some light priceghost... maybe price taught ghost how to control a wild boy, and he enjoys watching his student grow into a master) and i think gaz is probably kinda into puppy play himself lmao, he's just there to get hard and have fun

i think if soap went to price for help, he'd get his mouth fucked, his ass whipped with a belt, and get locked in his cage until ghost got back. but im really not sure about gaz....

part of me says gaz is a sweetheart, he'd help soap. i could see him taking soap to price for help, and then the above following (right after price "explains" what soap needs to gaz, does a little manipulation and gaslighting of his own)

thanks for your questions! hope my answers are satisfactory lol

[trauma-bot]

ouuuu i need the lore... i love selfships so much.... nuze lore please.... if you want..........

YAY YAY YAY. im gonna try so hard to keep this somewhat brief to leave room for any more questions but we'll see how that goes <3

so to preface this E does have a toyhouse bio that you can look at if you're curious! it has a more in-depth look at his personality and whole deal. you can also look at his gallery if you'd like; thats where his references and other artwork for him are stored!

ALRIGHT. RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT

a lot of it is very much to fulfill my weird convoluted fantasy of "what if i lost all hope for a future that i exist in and was convinced that i was going to succumb to the claws of my trauma and rot there forever (basically dooming myself in my own narrative) thus becoming the absolute worst version of myself in what i believe to be my final moments only for someone (two someones in this case) to love and believe in me so much that, despite it all and despite everything that was done to me and that ive done myself, gives me enough hope to undoom myself". i'm normal i swear.

also just generally im a big big sucker for stories about survivors of trauma being there for each other, and in that way i get a lot of comfort from nuze.

SO. NUZE LORE... (once again shout outs to my bestie night for coining their ship name lol)

i guess ill break it down like this, starting with N/E. (alt. ship name being pupE love (coined by another bestie of mine charlie)) E knew N back at the manor and they were close friends then, N was the first person E came out as trans to (by that i mean. N helped E work through his tumultuous robo gender feelings in real time) and N was the only one E really felt comfortable around. (other than tessa! E was also friendly with V back then as well<3)

however, E was also badly traumatized by his time in the manor, and of course Canon Events happen. E, as a disassembly drone, is now much more muted, detached, numbed, and devoted completely to their directive. he's very very very repressed and his specific brand of memory issues as well as the fucked up memory dreams causes him to dissociate and spiral a lot. he also distanced himself a lot from N for reasons even he isn't entirely privy to. something in his hardwiring just told him that N would be safer the less E stayed with him. and N is!!! really saddened by that!!! its normal! E has to learn to not be an emotionless object and actually let himself feel and need and yearn, and N is a big help with that (uzi is as well ofc!!)

i have to skip past a lot of things for the sake of not making this post so many words long but regardless; N/E is really special to me because they are two people who are in a very similar and scary situation and have had to see each other get hurt or even killed in many clone instances in many reset memory files. and its the just. the willingness to love despite knowing what happened to you and even witnessing it at times, to say "this is not all we are" and break free from those iron chains despite knowing how much it'll hurt and how dire everything is. E is so convinced that its all worthless and he couldn't be anything more than what he's used for, while N desperately wants a better life for himself and those he loves, and he's gonna drag E kicking and screaming to hope and healing. <3

NOW. UZIE :3 (alt. ship name is angelfangz)

E is MIA from the squad until like right after episode 3 canonically happens and is found by uzi and N. uzi does not trust E at first not one bit LMFAO. she doesn't hate him but like. her only frame of reference for murder drones besides N is V and J. and also E is like. he's weird and says weird cryptic things and is not exactly the easiest to talk to due to how off-putting and repressed he is. at first E is like "why is there a worker drone. in the spire. and we're all okay with this" but after actually getting more context behind Everything he's curious about her more than anything. he has to be swayed into betraying his initial directive (kill all worker drones. yknow) only because thats like all he knows how to do and would feel aimless without it, but once he is he's loyal to his new directive (help uzi figure out what the hell is going on with this solver business). yeah he treats himself like an object that can only find worth in being ordered around but we dont have time to unpack all of that right now. he unlearns it later i prommy.

uzi is like. spitefully resistant to getting to know E on a deeper lever, but this is uzi "no bonding thing" doorman and she cannot help but care about E and be concerned about his behavior. she will notttt admit that however and stubbornly holds her ground. it isnt until post-episode 4 when E and uzi are fully vulnerable around each other.

uziE is. so so very important to me. uzi has been outcasted and isolated for so much of her life, she's been treated as a weirdo freak monster by her classmates and becomes outwardly prickly and aggressive to cope with how little affection and reassurance she's been given. i know she's internalized it to mean there is something wrong with her that everyone else can see, and its only a matter of time before those who actually care for her see it too and leave her. and i know that the events of episode 4 confirmed it in her mind, that she is a freak monster and everyone was right to avoid and hate her, even though she never asked for any of this. thats a very familar feeling to me- and by extension E. E recognizes the feeling of being made into a monster against your will, of fearing and being unable to trust yourself, and of feeling like its best for everyone's safety to hide away. E and uzi find solace and comfort in each other for that. they dont see each other as broken irredeemable monsters, so maybe they aren't.

im stopping here because holy shit this got long but THERES A LOT MORE LOLL. tldr nuze altogether is very very important to me and i could talk about them forever and ever. they love each other all so much and they grow and heal and forgive and aaaaughhhgh<3 im normal.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

more incorrect wednesday quotes bc im a heathen and clinically obsessed 

these are both wyler and wenclair friendly :) im sorry wavier you will get ur turn I promise. 

\\

Enid: you should treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Wednesday: killed without hesitation

Enid: nO-

/

Tyler: If I died, how much would you miss me?

Wednesday: It’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship .

/

Wednesday: My middle name is danger.

Enid: Wrong, your middle name is cutie-pie.

/

Bianca: You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?

Wednesday: As defending champion, are you nervous?

\

Tyler: i would die for you

Wednesday: i would die for you too

Tyler, suddenly very emotional: please don’t do that

/

Enid: I won.

Wednesday: [raising an eyebrow] I have you pinned to the ground.

Enid: I know.

/ 

Tyler: Wednesday you listen to me 

Tyler: I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed

Tyler: But that’s why blunt force trauma exists /

Ajax: I love how unproblematic firefighters are. They just want to put out the fires.

Bianca, gazing darkly into the distance: I used to think that.

Ajax: That was so ominous? What the fuck did firefighters do to you?

\ 

Tyler: Wednessay, please, we need to take you to the hospital

Wednesday: Oh, I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?

Tyler: ......

Wednesday: No? I didn't think so, stay out of it. 

/ 

Xavier: What should I be for Halloween?

Bianca: A better person.

Xavier: Fuck you

/

*The squad is playing a team sport*

Bianca: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Enid?

Wednesday: Have you ever played a team sport with Enid?

Bianca: No…

Wednesday: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*

Enid, chasing Tyler around the field: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

/ 

Wednesday: I have no respect for Santa. Don't sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents.

Wednesday: Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

/

Bianca: You're all losers

Ajax, Xavier, Yoko and Kent: Well then why do you hang out with us?

Bianca: Because I don't have any other friends

\

Ajax: I'm a firm believer in, "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly" 

Enid: ...that doesn't answer my question. Why are you covered in custard and glitter? 

Ajax: Because I failed spectacularly Enid 

Enid: ...okay then

/

Wednesday: I've never had a best friend before

Enid: I'll be your best friend!

Wednesday: .........

Wednesday: I've also never had a girlf-

\

Enid: Try thinking postive for a change!

Wednesday: We're all gonna die one day

Enid: N-

Wednesday: Hopefully soon

Enid:

/

Yoko: Who accidentally drops their cellphone into soup?

Kent: It wasn't an accident, I wanted to see if it would float.

\

Yoko: If somebody wants coal for Christmas, but they’ve been bad, does Santa give them a gift, or do they win either way?

Bianca: Oh, for fuck's sake.

Xavier: Hold on, hold on, she has a point.

/ 

Tyler: Are you mad?

Wednesday: No.

Tyler: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Wednesday: Yes.

\

Xavier: if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

*silenece*

Xavier: Man, y’all depressed as f*ck.

Bianca: You didn’t clap either.

Xavier: Shut up.

/

Ajax: what did you guys do? 

The group: .....

Ajax: you're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again

\

Tyler: I've been expecting you, Wednesday

Wednesday *surprised*: How did you know that it was me?

Tyler: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people that came in weren't you

/ 

Xavier: If being hot was a crime I’d be serving a life sentence.

Bianca: For a crime you didn’t even commit?

\

Bianca: You look happy. Let me guess, your egg salad sandwich fell on the floor and they gave it to you for free

Kent: No, can you do that? Why doesn’t everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?

Bianca: I was trying to insult you

Kent: Instead you gave me an amazing life hack

/

Wednesday: What do you mean a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress me out?

\

Tyler: I wanna get run over. 

Enid: Oh come on, it’s Christmas! Get in the spirit! 

Tyler: I wanna get run over by a reindeer. 

Enid: …

Enid: Not what I meant, but I’ll take it!

\

Enid: Do you really have to blackmail me?

Wednesday: How do you expect me to get your attention?

Enid: Uh, ask?

Wednesday: And risk judgment and rejection? God no

/

Tyler: I seriously get so embarrassed doing anything. i wear sunglasses when it's sunny and i'm like "this is so humiliating"

Tyler: Walking downhill? embarrassing too. like ooooh look at me doing a little trot like a stupid horse

Enid: are you okay?

Tyler: I wish i was dead

\

Tyler: Did Wednesday just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Enid: Yeah, she did.

Tyler: And did I just do finger guns back?

Enid: Yeah, you did.

/

Enid: *calls Tyler*

Tyler, answering the phone: hello?

Enid: i'll call you back later okay?

Enid: *hangs up*

Tyler: ?????

\ 

Enid: [About Wednesday] Look at her with her stupid  straight leg pants and dumb tight fitting button up shirts. 

Enid: I have to have her.

/

Tyler, sweating: Wednesday, there’s something I need to ask you-

Wednesday: Finally! You’re proposing!

Tyler: How’d you know?

Wednesday: Tyler, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Wednesday: I even picked it up once.

\

Wednesday: I’m still trying to figure out why you guys are so desperate to hang out with me.

Enid: Because you’re so sweet and funny, duh.

Wednesday: Well, Bianca told me that I’m spiteful and incredibly annoying, so one of you is lying to me.

/

Wednesday, holding a piece of paper: hey, what’s this? 

Tyler: my to-do list. 

Wednesday: it just has my name on it? 

Tyler: …yes. 

\

Ajax: I never had a brother, but I know four guys who did. And they would have fights and squabbles, but in the end? They would always have each other’s shells.

Yoko:

Yoko: Are you talking about the Ninja Turtles?

Ajax: Of course I’m talking about the Ninja Turtles!

/

Enid: It looks like you've got a plan. 

Wednesday: Yep. 

Tyler: ...Have you got a plan? 

Wednesday: Nope.

\

Wednesday: I told Enid that her ears turn red when she lies.

Ajax: Do they?

Wednesday: No.

Ajax: Then why did you tell her that?

Wednesday: Because I can do this.

Wednesday: Hey Enid! Do you love us?

Enid, with her hands over her ears: No.

/

Doctor: *holds up a spine model* This is your spine--

Ajax, looking absolutel terrified: Put it back in, what the fuck?

\

Eugene: What would Enid think?

Wednesday: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told her?

\

Wednesday: We're alive!

Enid: Good! 

Enid: Because now… I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! 

/

Enid: Did you know that when you suddenly jerk awake while falling asleep, another version of you from a different timeline just died.

Tyler: No...

Wednesday: It’s actually because your heart rate decreased so quickly that your brain jerks awake to make sure you’re still alive.

Tyler: I don’t know which one is worse!

\

Kent: *Hits Wednesday on the head with a ball*

All of nevermore hours later, trying to coax him down from a tree: It’s ok she’s gone you can come down now -

Kent, still shaking: She’s not gone, she’s waiting.

/

Xavier: Money absolutely does not buy happiness

Bianca: You’re probably just spending it wrong. Give it to me and I’ll show you how it’s done

\

Enid: I’m gonna stop being so nice all the time!

Wednesday: How are you gonna do that?

Enid: Well to start, I ate all your candy last night.

Wednesday: Wow, Enid, that’s so cold I’ll need a sweater.

Enid: I’ll knit you a scarf to apologise. 

/

Kent: Can I have some?

Yoko, blank faced with a mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

\

Kent: You guys, this can't be happening. Maybe we're all in a coma?

Bianca: Together? We're all in a coma together?

/

Enid: Hey, do you wanna get lunch?

Wednesday: Oh, I already ate with Tyler, but what do you want?

Enid: 

Enid: Loyalty. 

\

Wednesday: I am so small and bitter, I’m like a human espresso.

//

Okay thats it :0 this one is even longer than the last one so well done if u made it to the end