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#for fucks sake I need TO SLEEP
shatterthefragments · 1 month
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I’m being overdramatic I know, but maybe I’m just meant to be miserable.
(“Well maybe you shouldn’t do these sailing trips if you get so sick after” IM TOO OLD NOW ANYWAY. IM DONE WHETHER I WANT TO BE OR NOT. IVE SPENT A MONTH AT SEA TOTAL NOW. AND I REALLY FUCKING HOPED THAT I WOULDNT GET SICK THIS TIME. and I didn’t the first time (you know when Everyone still was asked to mask and we tested before boarding)) and I booked the rest of the week off to recover. That I have to call in sick for at least a little bit now too. Yeah. That sucks for all of us. Nothing I can do but not die or whatever)
#for fucks sake I need TO SLEEP#I need to get better#I need to be able to go back to work#I need to FUCKING SLEEP#but I need to brush my teeth#and you’re in there AS FUCKING ALWAYS#and I said to go first so it can ventilate after in case I do have Covid#but FUCKING SHIT ITS BEEN HALF AN HOIR AND IM SO TORED I COULD CRY#which isn’t going to help my breathing bc my nose is starting to get involved#and my body is so fucking exhausted from coughing#like shit I’m going to need a second dinner if I’m awake much longer#get OUT please#and I had my vitamin packet so it can absorb better as I go to bed#BUT I CANT FUCKING GO TO BED CAN I???#have taken the risk to cry out asking her to hurry it up#(I can’t hear her in return over my air purifier and fan but anyway)#like my half coughs sound more like sobs all day if I can’t do a full cough right now#and I think it’s so fucking fitting#too exhausted and miserable. can’t even cough properly just cough sobbing without the tears#except I still. can cough. can cough myself into puking actually 😭 I hate this so much#shattered fragments#sick posting#I just want to sleep#somebody just put me down and let me sleep UNINTERRUPTED for a full night please#if it wouldn’t hurt my throat so much more I would be sobbing right now#god I feel like crying#I just want to be well again#FUCK#haven’t even played Stardew bc I have to use two hands for it#and my shoulder still hurts (a little less after laying on the wand but not a ton less)
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spineless-lobster · 6 months
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Alexander the great and hephaestion are so patrochilles coded it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach like how the fuck did they make the iliad in real life what the actual hell this is so fucked up
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jaimeski · 8 months
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superhero mike and merc fit are arch enemies pac is mike’s civilian sidekick and he told mike he’s been seeing this guy for months mike couldn’t give less shit and when pac finally introduced his boyfriend to him over a dinner both mike and fit are both shocked and are fighting every time pac turns around
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tiredmetalenthusiast · 10 months
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And for no particular reason other than to be an asshole😑, my brain has decided to torture me with fantasizing about werewolf!Price! He's so pent up for years of not having a mate that during a rut, in werewolf form of course, he's whining in pain and along comes this pretty little thing that smells so sweet and offers to help him out. Proceeds to get railed within an inch of her life on the forest floor.
I should be asleep! I have work early tomorrow and yet here I am! Fantasizing about this🫠!
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sensoryserenity · 14 days
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every now and then i get really in my own head about like, the Content on this blog, this worry that i don't make my own gifs often enough or consistently enough or when i do it's not the right stuff, that my content is repetitive or too simple or etc etc etc. and then i remember that the invisible metrics i hold myself to mean literally nothing to anyone else, and that even if other people did give a shit it's my blog and i can post whatever i want to whenever i want to. i'm not a Content Maker im just some silly billy with a blog where i post stims i like
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sirtouchstarved · 1 year
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*Screams in horror*
ISTFG AO3 NO! BABY HUNNY DARLING LIGHT OF MY LIFE I NEED YOU. I WAS SETTLING DOWN INTO MY BED SNUGGLED UP READY TO READ SOME FANFICS MY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS DARLING AO3 *WHY*
fucking sobbing what the hell am i supposed to do with my life now
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crimeronan · 1 year
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i'm now in the part of the autoimmune cycle where i stop being distracted by newfound knowledge and simply become annoyed that my symptoms are still present. what do you MEAN the """immeasurable antibodies wreaking havoc in every part of my body""" haven't taken a vacation just because i have proof they're there now and also that i haven't been cured of all ailments because i'm """not on medication yet""" come onnnn. we're in the getting better phase who cares that we have zero meds that actually stop autoimmune disease rn. cmon body yip yip!
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orcelito · 10 months
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Ok so I was wondering like
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Top 0.005% of listeners. That's Pretty Damn Small. But I was wondering Just how small...
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357.1k monthly listeners
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0.005% of 357.1k is... just under 18...
Guys. I'm within the top 20 listeners for IAMX. Period. 🫣
#speculation nation#16K MINUTES OF MY 59K TOTAL MINUTES FOR THE YEAR...#A LITERAL 27% OF ***ALL*** MUSIC I LISTENED TO THIS YEAR........#cant help gettin emo i guess#like i knew he'd be indisputably my top artist but. holy fuck.#THIS ALSO ISNT INCLUDING THE SNEAKER PIMPS ALBUM... which ive listened to obsessively too#as an extension of the obsession with his music. bc he sings in it.#SOMETIMES AN ARTIST HITS U LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN and ur left like. yeah. yeah .#helps that hes got so many albums so i spent Months slowly making my way through them all.#but then i just kept listening to him bc his music just... scratches an itch in my brain idk.#in part it's the grief. Metanoia was a crutch of an album after my uncle died.#and also with my cat... it was just. nonstop IAMX. for Months.#ive been branching out more again recently bc i do like some variety in the music i listen to#but if i want music but dont know what to play it just always ends up going back to IAMX#because it's dependable. it's enjoyable. it's Comfortable.#his music feels like a reset button for me. like returning to a dark room to sleep at night.#it's not dark for the sake of darkness. but for the comfort of it. existing honestly. existing without fear of judgement.#and bringing the analogy together i really have listened to his music to help me sleep a few times#not often just bc i usually dont listen to music as i sleep. im a light sleeper so i need white noise.#but there were a few times i found myself without a working fan. so i turned to his music to act as white noise instead.#not actual white noise of course. but the function of it. the Comfort. the familiarity.#pick one of his lowkey albums and just let it keep going. and it works. it does.#so like. it makes sense. it does. i understand entirely why i rank so high in his monthly listeners.#it's just a bit mind boggling to actually see the tangible numerical value hfkshdjd bc. man. man...
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altruistic-meme · 1 year
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me: *existing*
my brain: hey heres another fic idea!!! and another!!!! oh wouldn't it be so cool if you wrote this??? wouldn't you LOVE to plan this fic out??? you should definitely plan this one, i promise you don't even have to write it ;) [<- is lying, knows that i'll want to write it even more if i plan it]
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outlaw-monarch · 8 months
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Welp.
Officially so fucking tired I forgot the word for 'stopped having a blog' and said
"They're, uh... you know- when someone's?? unblogged?"
Wife, kind but incredulous: "...deactivated? "
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camgirlkaminari · 2 years
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scum villain makes me SO INSANE like it's the funniest book I've ever read and also if I think too hard about one character in particular my brain shorts out shies away from the thoughts like a slug might shy away from salt I will POSITIVELY DIE if I think too long about tlj JUST trying to understand people being betrayed by someone who he thought loved him losing everyone who was ever close to him BECAUSE of him I think too hard about yqy and how he will never get closure there will be no happiness for him zzl my little boy my big cheese my funtime guy who JUST wanted to be liked he was trying so hard to do good he's like that poem from the point of view of a cat that can't figure out what he did wrong why do his family keep leaving the house why can he never grow big like his brothers sqq never seeing his family again never acknowledging he had a family except in passing never being able to tell his husband about his first life having to keep that secret for the rest of his life to always have this weird terrible pain between them forever the sacrifices he made for luo binghe how he'll never be able to truly know og sqq's motivations how he just woke up and immediately took up the mantel of sqq despite knowing his fate WHAT was his life as shen yuan like to make him so quick to alter his whole identity WHY is he so good at acting and lying to everyone including himself just refers to himself as a listless pretty boy like he doesn't have the cleverest mind in the whole book!!!!! og sqq in the cave what must he have felt when he realized he wasn't strong enough to save lqg and knowing what people were going to say and being too proud and miserable to clear his own name binghe's "I hate! I hate myself!" scene I am SCREAMING binghe being unhealthily manipulative from DAY ONE up to the point where sqq realizes what he's done with xin mo the CAVE SEX SCENE??????????? don't get me STARTED on shang qinghua!!!!!!!! liu qingge!!!!!! BINGGE?????? it's like a wormhole in my head if I think too hard past sqq being the funniest mother fucker in two different universes and the premise of haha big demon hot for teacher mommy kink :))) I will DIE I will PERISH i am rabid I am biting and tearing and rending and howling!!!!!!
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cptnbeefheart · 9 months
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crazy eyes bc i got sick of having this ITYSL summer lovin’ skit painting on my floor. didn’t really finish it so much as i gave up but thats okay i think. happy new year more details in the tags :]
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alloutshirt · 4 months
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fuuuuuuck my lifeeeee
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ruralreligion · 1 year
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christ-like
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holylottie · 8 months
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My need to create is actually killing me, I write nonstop for hours, my ideas flow from my head to my lungs, making me out of breath, I'm drowning in art and i love being wet and I'm also afraid of water and I love to create but I hate to feel so much, my fingers keep aching every single moment of my days, I'm tired of it, im tired of having so much to say
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love-too · 8 months
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Just made a fool out of myself
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