#for example if you ascend him he uses the “i love you” line

[bhaalsdeepbat]

just to add:

Using Poe rather than any other Dark Romantic writer that was his contemporary to pull a quote from was such a good choice. Of his sotries, "The Tell-Tale Heart" was the perfect one for Astarion, but Poe very specifically believed stories should be written in a circular manner - like a snake biting its tail - which fits so perfectly with all the little ways Astarion's story and romance references itself.

Direct quote from my source:

Poe believed in “fashioning a tale like a kind of ouroboros, with its tail in its mouth, beginning with the final effect and working backwards to that the story’s beginning is a natural derivation of its conclusion.”

It's the setting up of the Romantic Astarion in act 1, finding out he's not as fine as he keeps insisting as the narrative swings into Dark Romantic territory, the paranoia starts to really come out (relating back to tell-tale heart), and then he is literally given a choice: continue the cycle or break free. The cycle of abuse is literally a circle here. He can take up Cazador's place in the ritual and step into his role entirely, reentering the ouroboros I mentioned earlier.

The "Thank you" when he first bites the player being referenced later when they see past his paranoia and how unreliable of a narrator he is about his own feelings and seeing that he doesn't want power. He wants safety in a world that he believes isn't capable of kindness or good.

I love how Astarion quotes The Tell-Tale Heart every once in a while. It's a rarer line, and initially I thought it was out of place (Neil is very well versed in theater, so I assumed it was a riff from him), but since reading an analysis of the work I think it was pretty purposeful.

The piece is all about fear and paranoia, things we know Astarion is plagued by despite how he might act. Similarly, the narrator of the story also tries to convince the reader that they are not as troubled as they seem. In the end, the narrator is consumed by the beating of the heart of the old man he killed and dismembered, the sound growing louder and louder until in a fit of rage he reveals the body to the police to absolve himself from the persistent beating.

Except the police never heard the heart beat, because it wasn't the old man's heart at all. The narrator was consumed by the sound of his own heart beating more and more rapidly in his chest from fear. He was the owner of the thing that forced him to reveal his true nature, he is the owner of the tell-tale heart.

And what happens with Astarion after you romance him? He realizes over time that, while he tried to deny his feelings and was initially only interested in manipulating you for his own means, he actually has grown to care for you. You have done something to his heart that hasn't happened in centuries, you have made it feel as if it has started beating again.

Therefore, his tell-tale heart leads him to admit his transgressions, which were committed out of fear and paranoia for his safety.

So the line is actually very, very apt. His confession during Act 2 is his own version of "Villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!" Except, of course, it is his own heart that he is unearthing for us (and it's not so hideous, after all).

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.28

*just based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Sorry it’s been a minute, I got my time back then I got sick- like same day! I’m good now, thank god, but it was absolutely insane and everything has been going on in the world, my God)

-If your moon opposes your ascendant you may be known for making the wrong impressions on people (especially first impressions) at some point in your life

-Not the first time I said this but I feel like Libra Asc tend to need to balance out aspects of their life more bc of their houses having the opposite signs over them.

-On the other hand I feel like Aries asc have a very straightforward, sometimes less complicated world view bc of their houses lining up with their traditional rulers.

-Mars in determemt and fall (Libra, cancer, 12th house) really gives you a finite amount of stamina

-I feel like cancer venus/moons tend to wax the most poetically and romantically about the nostalgia they feel. Even stronger for Venus.

-Men with cancer placements be like: I didn’t know I was manipulating you into being nice to me until it was already happening (lmao oof)

-I noticed Aries and Scorpio Sun men/masc folks can get romanticized a lot, I think this is bc their identity is ruled by mars traditionally, so they tend to be assigned more masculine traits/act their traits out in a more “traditionally” (or even just comfortably) masculine way

-Aqua Sun/asc/venus usually have some features that makes their face really stand out I noticed (unique brow/nose/head shape etc) (idk why I haven’t seen this with moons as much)

-Signs in your 8th house may come off as mysterious or hard to understand

-You may find it really easy to vibe with people that have Sun conjunct your Asc

-I’ve noticed that a lot of Virgo mars may eat like really spicy or punishing foods (especially if the mars is in a fire house)

-Saturn aspecting your big 3 can help you age really well- depending on how well you take care of yourself (extreme example: dick van dyke, he’s almost 100 and he’s still jumping around with so much energy)

-Pisces placements can be like incredibly intelligent and yet still come off as a bit spacey (one of my favorite YouTubers used to head extra credits and he is SO SMART, like just a seriously huge capacity for knowledge but he sounds spacey when he does his chill gameplays and pieces things together unscripted lol)

-Jupiter square/opposition Sun can make you come off as overly pessimistic, it can also make you come off as optimistic at the wrong times (laughing at serious moments, etc)

-Taurus placements are so motivated by food, it’s so real (the amount of times I’ve had a Taurus sun/moon/mars not hear a word I was saying bc they were scoping out a restaurant? Countless lol)

-I notice a lot of rappers & musicians (especially the innovative ones) have major Pisces placements

-Aries moons get emotional fulfillment by winning what they chase after (Aries in big 6 tends to make you go after things in general too imo)

-I noticed sometimes Leo moon can make you a bit self centered, like in the most literal sense, you may have trouble understanding perspectives outside of your own

-Virgos and Geminis and 3rd/6th house placements have great memory but they tend to forget certain aspects. They tend to forget or mix up details. (My ex took like 3 years to remember my middle name beyond the first initial lol god; also, I always remember zodiac signs but not birthdays lol)

-I love how Joe Pera has a cancer Mercury and his comedy is like the coziest comedy I’ve ever heard, he even got his following bc his helping people fall asleep and just talking through his chill podcast (did not expect him to have like the most fire in his chart tho?? Wouldn’t have guessed lol)- Pisces Mercury and Mercury with hard aspects to Neptune probably have a cozy affect on others when they communicate with them too

[escxelle]

about astarion and love

"astarion would never buy flowers for you like wyll or wax poetry for you like gale" etc. etc. blah blah blah

i hear people say this all the time and they always say it as if that's a bad thing.

like have you considered that not everyone wants traditional grand romantic gestures? astarion doesn't offer a fairytale romance, declaring his love from the rooftops of a burning building but he does offer a loyal companionship, a soft gentle romance that's just as meaningful.

you can yap yap yap all you want but i got the line "i'll be here when you're ready. i'll always be here, my love" in the final camp scenes which, yes, does show his committment and loyalty to you. he doesn't kiss you in the epilogue but he does hold your hand and he says that whatever the future holds, you'll be facing it together.

because astarion needs a companion more than a lover and honestly if you say that he needs a friend more than a lover after he confesses to you in act 2 (before you defeat ketheric in moonrise), his reaction is so much more meaningful than if you select any of the romance options (imo at least). he cares more about your companionship than he does your romance so no, he doesn't do traditional grand romantic gestures that you see in fairytales but that does not mean he cares about you or loves you any less than any of the other companions do.

soft astarion does exist canonically in the game so it's not ooc. his softness isn't like the other companions because astarion's trauma is vastly different to any of the other characters in the game. and no this softness is not infantilising him.

if you choose to romance astarion then you've chosen a lifelong loyal companion, who yes, will sometimes most likely kiss and tease you, flirt and sleep with you but that is not the main takeaway from that relationship. he probably won't even tell you that he loves you that often (like in the actual game itself) but it will be in his actions and his other words.

even in the game, astarion tells you that he wants you to see him as more than sex because he has a very difficult relationship with sex and romance. hence why he will decline having sex with the drow twins, hence why he's fine with you sleeping with halsin and he even asks if it's because the two of you haven't had sex in a while etc. etc. there are so many other examples i can list here. and furthermore, if you do choose the "you need a friend more than a lover" option after his act 2 confession, he says that he's had countless lovers but he cannot remember ever having a single friend.

i personally headcanon astarion as demisexual and demiromantic (yes i'm largely projecting but shhh) maybe even aroace so that your relationship is more of a queer platonic relationship because his post-game scenes are focused more on your companionship than your love or sex life (and because of all the other examples i used). me having this headcanon does not mean that i am infantilising him either by the way, you don't have to have sex to be an adult.

anyway, i'm rambling at this point but astarion is so dear to my heart so it upsets me so much when people just boil his character down to "hot sexy flirty vampire" or say that his romance is boring compared to the others because he doesn't love you like the others do etc. etc.

soft astarion my beloved <3 and yes he does exist (and no for the third time, this is not infantilising!)

(fyi i am only talking about spawn astarion here, ascended astarion can go rot in a coffin for all i care)

[meanbossart]

do you have any thoughts on cazador as a character? personally i really loved the parallels between him and astarion & the way that the master/spawn relationship is used as an allegory for cyclical abuse. the scene with cazador’s master’s skull where you find out that he was once victimized in the exact same way that he later victimized astarion was really a lightbulb moment for me re: what vampirism represents in this game.

BOY DO I, i don't think much of it hasn't already been said, though. He's a tragic character in his own right of course, not that that takes away from the awful man he is.

Me and my boyfriend make fun of him a lot, we call him "the best BG3 character" as a little inside joke between us and come up with ridiculous scenarios of things that might have occurred throughout those 200 miserable years the spawn had under his command lol. Maybe he had a month where he was really specific about the shoes everyone wore, maybe once every other decade he had a weird week where he tried to be "nice" only to become frustrated when his efforts weren't immediately met in kind by the rightfully-terrified spawn, maybe between all the torture and horrific-ness he just did some plain weird shit like making someone crouch by in his fainting couch and wait by open-handed for grapes that he dramatically chewed on and then spat right out since he can't actually eat them lmao

And that's hysterical but I think we also started doing that because when you meet Cazador, when you first hear his voice and see his demeanor in person your immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "THIS is the clown you were so scared of, Astarion?"

And the answer is, of course, yes. This embarrassing little man stuck in a cage of his making instills fear beyond comprehension in Astarion and all his siblings. This man who undoubtedly showed all these spawn, inadvertently, the strangest, most arguably "human" aspects of himself at some point or another during these two centuries they had together is also an absolute monster. And i really like that! I think its far more effective and fitting for his story than if he was, lets say, a Ketheric type.

(this got very long so, more under the cut)

Look at Ascended Astarion in the epilogue now, for example. Everyone agrees that he's an absolute fucking dork - and I think we all also agree that he will go on to destroy the lives of many people beyond repair, especially his own, until the day he is killed.

In the topic of vampirism as an allegory for abuse, I both agree and also don't, at least not exactly - i just think it's deeper than that. I've spoken about this in another post but i find it incredibly refreshing how, to me, it seems like Baldur's Gate 3 has no interest in painting vampirism as sexy or fun past a surface level. It's a curse that nobody asks for unless put in a situation where they feel as if they have no other way out, and it shapes and haunts you for the rest of your undead existence.

Even if you enjoy its benefits at first, that has a time limit. You will see your family and loved ones die, you will see culture evolve while you stay perpetually the same. You will experience so much hurt and pain because the only thing that makes life truly sweet is knowing that it is finite, and eventually it will wear down all of your humanity. And since you can't die unless you are scorched by the sun, staked, or dismembered, you must live with the knowledge that you will never have a peaceful death - and since you won't have a peaceful death, you better not die - and if you don't want to die, you better not be weak - and if you don't want to be weak, you must seek out power at all cost and slash things like love and friendship out of your life.

And what is funny, is that in his attempt to be more like a mortal - to eat, drink, walk the sun, such incredibly simple desires - Cazador (and Astarion, if he ascends) is accidentally only drawing further away from the person he supposedly once was, because that fear of weakness has already utterly corrupted his soul.

That's quite a grim way to look at it, of course. But I genuinely think that it is the natural conclusion of something like immortality.

That's why I quite like that, even after Astarion has found happiness, even after he finds his peace, he still doesn't exactly embrace being a vampire - because It's not something he should be expected to embrace. I think it's a very unique take on the trope.

I also want to leave here this message written by his character writer, which really got me thinking about him on a deeper level since i saw it months ago. It is specifically about the sexual aspect, but I think it branches beyond it too, when you think about it.

[yoonkinii]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Baldurs Gate:

Astarion

We Were Human

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

(Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent Astarion from losing himself once more. The only problem? You don't have a lot of time.)

Theme Song: Vore - Sleep Token

"You have become the voice in my head Only recourse we're left after death Your viscera welcome me in, welcome me in My life is torn, my bones, they bleed My metaphors fall short in the end Your flesh and bone welcome me in, welcome me in Are you in pain like I am?"

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Warning(s): Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended astarion, prepare for the worst. (Will be updated as more parts are released)

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ...

Status: on hold

Note(s):

For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware. You notice many things that were not included in the game but it I ensure that it is on purpose and isn't just there randomly. It should also be noted that when I post, I post the raw draft before I go back and edit the story. I do this so I am able to post consistently without having readers wait. I will go back and edit once I am able so if you notice spelling mistakes, I apologize.

Soulless Soul

Spawn!AstarionxAbsolute!VampyreReader

 Synopsis: There he stands, eyes downcast and shoulders caving in on himself. He does not look weary as he was pricked and prodded to fit the standards of his master. He has no idea why he is here- lined up amongst his siblings in the dining hall. His back aches, scars he knows that have not healed properly catching onto the rough fabric of his shirt. He watched the floor, he knew better not to meet the eyes of the predators that lurked before. He doesn’t even look up when the hem of an emerald green dress stands before him.

“This one. I want this one.” 

He does not allow himself the privilege of hope to blossom in his chest at those words. 

Theme Song: Soulless Creatures - Aurora

All the pieces of my body's gone Look at me now and tell me how I feel inside Every pieces that I lost, I have loved

Warning(s):  mentions of sexual trauma, Physical assault, gore, death, panic attacks, cursing, (more will be added as the story progresses if needed)

Note(s): Redacted in case of spoilers. I will upload notes with the first chapter

Part(s): TBA

Jujutsu Kaisen:

Gojo Satoru

Perfectly Imperfect

Synopsis: Everyone is born with a soulmate. Everyone knows by the time they hit age 18, a different kind of soulmate mark will appear. Some are unable to see color until they meet their soulmates gaze, others have matching tattoos. These are the more common ones; ones that can be tracked down in history but others are rare. So rare that there’s rarely any information available about it. Rare like yours and the only case of this soulmarking was dated decades ago with only two lines describing it.

"Person A and Person B afflicted by this marking will discover themselves to be covered in string-like tattoo markings in certain areas. These areas are what the soulmate A or B deem unworthy of themselves; or rather, what they hate about themself."

This wouldn't be a problem for you if it wasnt for the fact that everything from the collarbone to your ankles was decorated in white string-like lines.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Theme song: Bonfire - wave to earth

What color is my sky painted? What color is your emotion? Close your eyes slowly and feel the wind. The bonfire is fading out. Maybe we are falling Falling down with the rain.

amore mio aiutami- Piero Piccioni (literally the song that plays when M/C looks at him)

Warning(s):

18+, Sub!Gojo (gasp!), cursing, mentions of self-hate, discussion of Self-hate, mentions of minor character death- Will be added as chapters progress but if you see something that I didn’t include here, please let me know!

Note(s):

Expect this to be a short fic. I do not plan on having this over 6 parts and even then it could be less or couple chapters more. Depends on how I write everything.

Part(s): TBA

Ryomen Sukuna

Snippets of Love

Synopsis: Glimpses of your relationship with Sukuna through prompts/questions.

Paring: Sukuna x Reader

Theme Song: Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco

So I had a late Arrival So, we never saw the start of each others lives heart to heart

Notable tags: ModernAU, slight age gap, Canon/Fanon implements, Sukuna still has his tattoos, CEO Sukuna, uncle Sukuna, college student reader, pierced Sukuna.

Note(s): Inspired to do this series based on Kyarrcha fanart of Sukuna on Instagram! I want this to be mostly based on requests about certain moments such as when Sukuna and you first met, first date, and things like that. This can also include certain scenarios or environments. Feel free to send in requests but I will also add in my own takes.

Requests: Open.

Warnings: will be listed in the sections.

You are not required to read snippets in order, but it is recommended.

How y♡u first met Sukuna!

How y♡u met Sukuna again (and got his number)!

First date with Sukuna!

Sukuna letting y♡u doll him up!

Sukuna with drunk y♡u

Jealous Y♡u

Argument with Sukuna

Choso Kamo

Echos of Desire

Synopsis: Choso is one of the few to possess abilities that transcend human limits. His family was taken away from him and he was given to serve the king. He was trained in nothing else but to kill and follow orders. He was a man made weapon. His name whispered in fear- the kingdom's boogeyman. He hates it though. Hates how his freedom was ripped from his hands. Hates how his ‘gift’ is more like a curse. He is offered a deal he can’t deny- transport the princess to safety in a neighboring kingdom. The only problem is, she’s the daughter of the man that took everything from him and she is being hunted down by unknown forces. 

Pairing: Choso x Reader

Theme Song: my love is mine all mine - Mitski

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you? 'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine

Notable tags: FantasyAU, Fanon (I am creating my own world and using some pieces of jjk in it), major character death, burning alive, abuse, gore, blood, mentions of self loathing, anger. (Will be updated as more parts come out)

Note(s): Just a little something.

Part(s): 1 |

[subzeroparade]

*chant* New fic! New fic! New fic!

So excited you’ve posted a new ER fic, and with a teaser for more to come! 🎉🎉🎉

Since it’s been awhile, maybe I poke your brain on what your thoughts on the DLC are (game play, lord, sceneries, anything you’d like to share with us really)? Has it changed your headcanon on any of the characters, or did you find ways to incorporate the new lores into your interpretations? Most importantly, did you have fun?

*tagged for spoilers but just in case - spoilers •‿•*

Did I enjoy it? YES. Did I have qualms with some gameplay bits? YES but I’m a filthy casual on NG+2 or something and generally Not Good at Game. But I beat it. 

As for lore, it’s really a mixed bag. There’s a ton of stuff I’m delighted to have new or expanded lore for - Marika’s origins, Belurat and the entirety of Hornsent culture, Godwyn’s Death Knights, BAYLE???? VILE BAYLE!!!! etc etc (sometimes I listen to Igon’s voice lines just to psych myself up for real life). There are things I need to adjust my headcanon for a little, as well - St Trina, for example, has always been a facet of Miquella himself to me, a sort of alter ego he willingly takes on, which is how I enjoyed writing her in fic. To have her elaborated here as a separate person means taking that a little further if I write him/her/them again, but I think the parallel it draws between Marika/Radagon is hugely interesting as well.  

iirc there are a couple of instances in the base game where lore almost contradicts itself, but I think in some cases the DLC got a little sloppy. The timeline is also way foggier to me now than it was previously. I was a big fan of the idea that Messmer was entirely unknown to his siblings, written out of history after the Crusade (predating Marika ushering in the Golden Age of the Erdtree), but that contradicts the lore we get on Gaius and Radahn as they’re both personally acquainted with Messmer, and makes me wonder which of the other demigods might’ve been aware of him, and under what pretences might they have met. It makes for a lot of fic ideation, but I’m of the opinion that if you’re writing fic, sticking too closely to (the sometimes unhelpful) lore will stultify the work; so I’m trying to pluck little instances of new lore that interest me to bolster the story I want to tell.  

Like most of the fandom I have a huge beef with Promised Consort Radahn, and I’m still struggling with how to work that into my headcanon. To me, there is simply no reason for it. There are no indications of it in the base game, and you have to tie yourself into continuity knots for it to make any sense - and that’s just bad writing. I’m not against retconning things if they serve a purpose, but this was neither useful nor necessary (nor well done), and that’s fundamentally disappointing for a Fromsoft game. The more people aggressively try and justify it, the more I feel like the potential explanations unravel. If we’re going along with the assumption that Miquella *needs* a lord to ascend, we’ve had Candidate #1 since the base game: Godwyn. Half of what we know about base-game Miquella is that he spent time and resources trying to grant Godwyn some form of peace, while his hideous fate hangs over the narrative in perpetuity. And we give Radahn closure literally in the first act of the game. I’m a firm believer in Miquella knowing 100% what he’s about, but in this singular instance blinded by love for Godwyn and an all-consuming desire to *fix this* by resurrecting some nightmarish, malformed version of him. There’s so much juicy story to be told in Miquella refusing to acknowledge the thing he brought back is not his brother, and for all that godhood and remaking the world into utter passivity can do, it can’t retrieve Godwyn’s irretrievable soul. All that to say, I’d even take Malenia as his promised consort - it would made more sense than Radahn, too.

Anyway tldr I don’t have to think about how disappointing that is now, because the fic I’m working on is around Marika’s ascension, and more specifically Messmer and Melina’s upbringing. There’s another on the backburner but I’m on the fence about it since it hasn’t reached an outline stage yet, and I don’t start anything unless I am 100% sure I know how to finish it, and finish it well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Ty for the ask! As is the case with me, the rest of my musings on the lore come through in fic writing, because those are the texts dumps I’m good at. Here’s a little (young) Melina and Messmer wip as thanks. 

[galedekarios]

idk if u posted anything about this before but im really curious what you think about an elf tav with gale.

specifically, what ive been rotation in my mind is what romanced gale says if you use speak with dead on him: that he'll be waiting for you.

but what about an elf tav who still has centuries left to live, who expresses their worry that long after gale's death, whenever that may be, they might find someone to love just as much as they love gale now? would he still wait for them? would it instead motivate him even more to ascend to godhood? would he search for a different method to become immortal/ extend his life span in his good ending so they could grow old together? or would he tell tav that they deserve to live life to the fullest and find love again? and if so would he actually mean it?

i can't really tell what would be more in character for him towards the end of the game so here i am asking you, dear gale expert :)))

thank you for your message, anon. <3

i haven't talked about it on my blog yet, no, but i have thought a lot about it since my main oc altonaufein is a drow, who could live to be several centuries old.

i think what's important to keep in mind with gale is that while he may be human - humans, who of course have a general life expectancy that's considerably less than a drow's might be - he is also a wizard and a powerful one at that. he was an archwizard.

not only are there several spells that extend life in the dnd universe (clone, for instance), but there also endings in which gale regains mystra's favour by returning the crown, either as her chosen, or as someone who carries her blessing.

that status too is something that would extend his lifespan to far longer than what a normal human's lifespan is.

i think we have a good example of that in the game itself with elminster, also a human, who the game tells us is 1300 years old at the time we meet him in the game.

so i'm happy to say that lifespan angst is something that doesn't necessarily need to be an issue with gale and a drow or elf protag, and i think it's likely something that gale would do.

(sort of related: in a conversation with elminster (act ii when he delivers mystra's instructions), there's a devnote saying that gale doesn't expect to grow quite as old as elminster, and the only reason for that is the dangerous life he leads right now. so i do think if the danger had passed, it might be a different topic.)

however, if you are asking me on the principle of the thing if gale would mean it if he said that it's alright for the protag to move on if there was an extreme lifespan disparity with no way to overcome it, my answer would always be yes.

gale never once holds it against the protag in any shape, way or form if they have turned him down respectfully and found a new love, even within the timespan of the events of the game. that is even further reiterated by the devnotes to these specific lines you get from him in this case, which are variations of "sincere/heartfelt/happy for you/etc."

the same wish is reflected in the variations of his epilogues in which he dies. gale's spectre, his letters, all tell the protag one thing: that he wants them to be happy.

also while gale is romantic, he's also pragmatic. if there truly was no way to overcome this, he wouldn't want the protag to grieve for him for centuries/never move on.

so yes. he would mean it.

but like i said, thankfully, the lifespan issue isn't really an issue in this case.

[quinloki]

I'd love to hear more about The Dragon's Clause if you'd like to share - especially around the world building (if you wish).

🤩

OKAY, SO

you know what? No, I'm not going to put it under a cut.

I made a map!

(I drew the basic idea and then @mamaalpha made it absolutely stunningly beautiful and now I have an AWESOME MAP \o/ )

In the Dragon's Clause there are five six continents. Each continent has an Empire, kingdoms, and Wilds.

Each Empire is headed by one of the Elders from One Piece (Nusjiro in this case). The Empire offers protections to the Kingdoms that pay homage (celestial tribute) back to the Empire. This "protection" makes the other kingdoms play nice - you can't just go declaring war on a kingdom protected by the Empire, even if you are also protected by them.

The Wilds are areas of land (northern and southern borders on this continent, but it's different on each one) that are untamed/overrun areas full of magical beasts and monsters and outlaws, etc. Border kingdoms have elite guards who protect their borders and harvest the goods from the monster they slay. Alongside agriculture, metals, gems, and other trade goods, these hides, hearts, bones, etc. add to a kingdom's wealth and economic capacity.

For Example: Lulusia is a relatively small kingdom, but the lands are rich in minerals and their northern border is one of the most lucrative.

Tidbits about each Kingdom because I can:

Lulusia: The reader's kingdom of origin. Her father was the king's younger brother. He was an exceptional border guard until he passed away. The reader - a princess by the thinnest of lines - is sent off to the Goa kingdom to be married to their crown prince in place of her cousin (the king's actual daughter).

Goa: Crown Prince Sterry... >.> Sabo is the Grand Duke here.

Dawn: Ace is effectively the ruler. He's adopted (by Garp the current king), but Luffy refused to be crown prince so hard, him and Garp nearly leveled the castle fighting over it.) Having the largest northern border, Dawn is renown for its border guard. Their economy is almost entire monster trade.

Germa: Just wrapped up civil war. Sanji came out on top. \o/ The central Academy for all surrounding kingdoms exists here. Sabo, Luffy, Ace, Sanji and Vivi went to school together. Marco's the headmaster, currently.

Alabasta: Recently became a Queendom as Vivi ascended the throne.

The Queendom Kingdom: Darling you know who runs this island and you can be sure he doesn't pay tribute. But The King Queen Bon-chan does have a lot of really good treaties in place with Dawn and Alabasta.

Wano: Doesn't pay tribute. Not much is known. Rumors of internal strife.

FINALLY - how devil fruits ✨magic✨ works:

Weapon auras are a thing (Armament Haki, effectively)

Observation Haki is a thing but most people consider it like magical awareness, because the concept of haki isn't really understood that way.

Basic magic is “fairly” common, in that most soldiers can light campfires with it, don and doff armor, and protect themselves against some elements (making time in the desert easier, for example.) Some commoners will have solid enough control of it to make living a little easier, but basic magic does little more than cantrip levels worth of magic.

It makes life easier, but you can't really fight/defend with it.

Advanced magic is more destructive/useful - traveling magic, fireball, etc. This is considerably more rare and requires lots of education and practice. Natural talent doesn’t hurt either.

Commoners won't know this level of magic with a few exceptions. Most get conscripted into service if found out.

Advance magic leaves markers that can be detected by other magic users. These traces of "magic was used here" fade over time, but can linger up to weeks if you're not careful.

Specialized magic is person to person, and is either something you see in Grand Mages and Top Tier Knights or the most dangerous of magical beasts. Often times it might not even seem like magic, but the use is tailored to the person who has it so completely, that specializations are rarely duplicated.

Notable exception: Ace and Sabo are both considered to be fire specialists

Luffy has his rubber body and all it's uses - no one is really sure what to call his specialization.

Effectively devil fruit abilities have been translated as Specialized Magic in this AU.

Ask about WIPs game

[significant-narratives]

is william nylander a leo rising or anything like that? I feel like he’s leo-adjacent

alas we do not have a birth time for willy (at least, not that i know of) so i can’t say for certain. i am however willing to walk with you on this path as a bit of a thought experiment! also this got really long, sorry i have chronic Can’t Shut The Fuck Up disease

now, a few disclaimers before we get started:

1) i generally don’t love trying to guess rising signs — this isn’t a judgement on anyone who does, i just find it particularly difficult to do lol. so take everything i say here with a grain of salt

2) i subscribe to the belief that a rising does influence/color the rest of an individual’s chart, so keep that in mind as we delve into this.

3) i am by no means an expert when it comes to astrology and don’t claim to be, and i do pull from various sources when needed to supplement my own knowledge. i am here to have a good time and that’s all! if you have any questions about the sources i use feel free to ask.

okay with that out of the way. willy as a leo rising is interesting! if we look at what such a placement would entail we can see a lot of ‘willy-like’ traits: there’s the courage, confidence and protectiveness associated with any leo placement. high charisma, extroversion, directness. as an ascendant the ‘fixed energy’ of leo tends to manifest in a need to achieve success and stability, and then maintain it. body awareness is another one — understanding how you look and move through space (usually linked to a strong sense of personal style).

(more of a side note, but in terms of physical characteristics, leo risings are often described as tall and broad shouldered, with expressive eyes and strong bone structure. i don’t place as much weight on this aspect of a rising sign, but it’s interesting!)

so, from all this, you could make a strong case for willy being a leo rising! however there’s one crucial thing that isn’t clicking for me: an individual’s rising sign tends to be linked with a public mask / a lens through which they see reality. and i don’t think the way willy presents himself to the public, or what glimpses we’ve seen of his worldview, is quite aligned with leo rising energy specifically.

his white knuckle grip on his ‘i am Chill and Calm and Going With The Flow’ attitude is a little out of line with how leo energy tends to manifest (imo). like one thing about a leo — what you see tends to be what you get and they’re not ashamed to show you that. they’re not (in my experience) all too concerned with persona-building or shielding themselves from being seen. they’re picky about who they give their time and energy to, sure, but like. that’s not quite the same thing. you feel me?

so if he did have a leo rising… i feel like in theory we wouldn’t see a lot of willy’s tendency to keep things very close to his chest and generally not Feel Things In Public. like, think about it. how much do we actually know about william nylander. and how much of what we know came from him. half of the off season content we get that features him comes from alex’s gf’s insta! he’s out here posting pictures of lizards and aesthetic topless photos. it took him eight years and finally securing his place in toronto for the foreseeable future for him to be willing to get even a Little vulnerable with the press and admit just how important toronto is to him, how strongly he’s put down roots here. again you could argue this protective quality is a point in favour of a leo rising placement… but he is also a taurus sun… also is this a good time to say i don’t feel like i’m picking up on that ‘leo rising energy’ trickling down into the rest of his chart? i feel like with a leo rising you’d see a very different manifestation of his gemini venus or libra moon, for example, but that’s just speculation on my part.

it’s also possible the general ‘leo adjacent’ energy you’ve mentioned picking up from him is that gemini venus / aries mars combo of his (i will hold my tongue and not say the word that i’m thinking in my head rn).

tl;dr my verdict on willy having a leo rising: it’s possible but not my favourite choice for him personally! to me i’ve always felt like he gave off water rising energy… (op are you saying this because you are a taurus sun scorpio rising you ask. to which i will say: no comment <3)

[brabblesblog]

Hi!!! This might be a super obvious answer to most but I saw your post about Astarion characterization (10/10 btw) and you said you use a mental construct of AA for writing/beta? I have not stopped thinking about this, it's fascinating to me- can you explain that more in depth? I feel like I might do a similar thing whenever I write but I'm not sure I understand it, so I would love if you could clarify/talk about how/why and all that (if you're comfy with it, of course!)

Hi! This is a very good (and relevant) question nowadays, and I realize I didn't expound clearly about this method in my characterization post.

So this method is likely to be uncommon. My beta does not do this, nor do any of the other great writers in the fandom I've encountered. More of them sort of get into the character's headspace.

EDIT: Apparently so does @pursuitseternal! OMG ILY now I know why we're both on the same brainwave LOLOL What I do have, is a sort of imaginary friend, if you will. An AA, lounging around in his throne inside my head. When I write, I will look to him and wait for the message I want to impart to be spoken from his mouth, in his voice. If it sounds weird, or off, then I know that I need to tweak the line, and do so, then let him reread. For spawn (when I beta, and when/if I ever write for spawn), what I do is dress him up in clothes that are distinctly spawn (so either origin armor, or epilogue out fit) and then let him do the same thing, asking him to consciously act like spawn.

The reason why Ascendant dialogue is easier for me to kind of figure out is because I have been writing Ascendant stuff for quite some time know so it's kind of stuck. But this also works for other than dialogue. I try to figure out whether he would do something. This helps with small character moments that flesh him out further; for example in a yet unpublished piece of work I actually have him reconsider sitting on a chair because it's dirty. To get that like idea I just imagine him in a dingy location, with chair in question. Would he sit? Would he sort of refuse, because no way are his expensive clothes getting fucked by whatever's on that chair? A lot of bringing a character to life, especially for fics that are heavily character driven are these tiny details, because they make them seem more real on page. I hope this answers your questions, and feel free to ask more.

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Round 5

[image ID: the first image is of Oopsy Bear, a green care bear. on his stomach is a drawing of a red heart, a smiling yellow star, and several colorful lines behind the star implying it's soaring through the "sky". the second image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. end ID]

Oopsy Bear

HE IS MY FAVORITE CARE BEAR AND NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS ONLY IN ONE ITERATION OF THE FRANCHISE AND THEN THEY NEVER SHOWED HIM AGAIN. I love him so much it’s unreal he’s just a sweet little guy he’s clumsy and doesn’t have any belly badge powers like the other bears… His tummy is blank and he DRAWS ON IT he will give himself different silly belly badges. He’s also besties with a robot that used to be working for the villain. Please. Please. Please. Please 

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

[raptorific]

Okay but I was just saying today how bad I want a spinoff about how Tigress Snow become who she became. Which is why I'm offering an open question to you: I'd love to hear any theories you have on the trajectory of her life that lead her where it did.

I can always count on you for good stuff like this--

So, the fun thing about Tigris is that when I first read Songbirds, they mention she's Snow's cousin on the very first page, and I literally had to put the book down and go paw through my copy of Mockingjay to see if they'd ever actually referenced that before. It didn't feel like a reveal, because it just made so much sense that she'd be his cousin that I assumed I must've already known it.

So, the thing that's clear to me after Songbirds is that Tigris and Coriolanus have very different priorities with regards to the games. Tigris thinks they're monstrous and over-the-line, and feels for the tributes, Coriolanus thinks they're necessary and that the tributes (and in fact all human beings) are inherently brutal and need dramatic examples like the games to keep them in line

I think this is reflected in their diverging, parallel paths in their participation in the games. Tigris is a stylist, a role which allows her to work directly with the Tributes, maybe even give them more of a fighting chance to survive, while Snow worked as a mentor and gamemaker, and orchestrated ways to make the brutality of the games even more effective

You also see, towards the end of the book and movie, that Tigris has begun to feel fear and disgust towards her cousin, but she is still effectively dependent on him financially, and doesn't want to alienate him entirely. This was a reversal of their positions at the beginning of the book, when Coriolanus was entirely dependent on Tigris' pawn shop savvy, arts and crafts skills, and implied sex work to keep afloat, and she put almost every resource she had towards making sure he could succeed so their family could regain its old prestige

So at the end of the book, Snow is back on top, they've got the fortune back, the people standing in the way of his return to high society are eliminated, and he's been taken under the wing of one of the most powerful people in the Capitol. Of course he used his connections to get Tigris a job, in his mind that's only fair, he did for her what she'd always done for him.

The crucial thing, for me, is that eventually, Coriolanus screwed her over the same way he screwed over Sejanus and Lucy Gray and everyone else who ever got close to him who became an obstacle or liability to his ascendancy. When her furry-ism got to be embarrassing to the family name, she was canned from that job and shoved out of the way somewhere she couldn't get in the way of his political prospects

The thing is, based on Songbirds, I don't think Tigris was necessarily surprised by this. I think she took the job while it was an option for her, because she'd seen her cousin's true colors through the Tenth Games and his time in District 12, and knew eventually she'd be cast aside as well. She was dependent on him, and that wouldn't last forever, and so she needed to take advantage of it while she could.

I think her body modifications were probably similar in motivation to the rest of the Capitol's insane cosmetic procedures, but I also think they come from a place of desperately wanting control over her own life. She spent her whole adolescence serving the needs of her cousin, and then she ended up entirely dependent on her cousin and unable to do anything that would embarrass his standing in high society. I think transforming herself into a human cat was an attempt at feeling like she was, in some small way, in control of herself.

I hope there was a solid answer somewhere in all that rambling! I find Tigris to be such a fascinating character

[100vern]

Which personality of each member do you think fits their sign and which doesn’t?

oh, fun!! while i can crack a joke every now and then, @hot-soop is the true astrology queen, so i hope you don't mind that i tag teamed this with her.

i think the prevailing thought is that sun signs are kind of... not useless on their own, but definitely don't tell the whole story. i definitely do not feel like i fit my sun sign and relate much more to some of my other placements.

(also hard to say because we don't have a confirmed birth time for anyone other than jungkook and, speaking for myself, i feel my rising says a lot more about me than my sun sign.)

anyway!! let's speculate bc nothing matters!!

members i feel fit their sun sign:

seokjin

yoongi

hobi

jk

other placements i feel they might fit more:

namjoon — (suspected) scorpio rising. i joked about it in awfos but i really do think it fits namjoon perfectly: people with scorpio on the ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life. for some, this power can also come from within, in the form of jealousy, envy or lust for power. the dark and hidden things in the soul must come out. it can be reflected in artwork, for example (cr). we know namjoon is sort of this tortured poet type of creative; the type to destroy himself in order to create.

seokjin — cancer mars. sometimes, mars in cancer likes to heighten molehills just to psyche themselves out. they like to make small issues larger because it feels safer to fight in the small than the large. they can be incredibly forthright on the smallest of things but shy away from bringing up larger life decisions (cr). we see this with jin a lot—the exaggerating and larger than life personality to hide how sensitive he is.

yoongi — yoongi's chart is interesting because it's half "i don't give a fuck what you think about me" energy and half calm, gentle placements. i think he embodies his entire chart, tbh. we know young yoongi was really angry. we know he's grown a lot. we know he's not the super grumpy, cold personality people like to pigeonhole him as.

hobi — he has three placements in pisces (mercury, venus, saturn) so it doesn't really matter which placement i pick bc i think he embodies all of them. there are a ton of writers with pisces in mercury, and while yes, hobi is obviously a writer, i think it speaks to communicating in other ways, too. for hobi, it might be through writing, through dance, or through ideas/pictures. look at any of his solo mvs, especially from hope world. they are so much more vibrant than the rest. i urge you to read all of this in regards to pisces venus and find a line that doesn't fit him (except maybe the one about eating in bed, lol).

jimin — definitely fits the stereotypical characteristics of his sun sign. he's charming, social, peace-seeking. but, if the rumors are to believed, he's also a cancer rising, and as a fellow libra sun-cancer rising, this is just... peak him. i've seen this placement described as the "i'm baby" ascendant and it's so true. they're nurturing, sensitive, and gentle. all of bts loves one another, but i don't think anyone loves bts more than jimin. he's the one who will show up for and take care of you without you needing to ask.

taehyung — aries moon. jin has an aries moon, too, but i think it's more evident with tae. most everyone describes this placement as "cannot be tamed," and i think that's especially true with him. i've talked about it before, but while other members may not fit the idol image perfectly, taehyung seems to be the only one who actively rebels against it. there aren't many other idols posting threatening messages on weverse, lol. we know namjoon has said he knew taehyung wouldn't listen to him, but as someone who also has an aries moon, there is this innate flashbang of anger whenever anyone tries to exert control over us.

jungkook — virgo mercury. the "if there is a problem, then i will find a solution" placement. there is nothing he cannot do or figure out. if he decides he's going to do something, he'll become the best at it, and that's all there is to it, but a lot of this is done internally. all those "jungkook spacing out for 5 hours" compilations? he's doing virgo things in there.

[poketdmpro]

The Spy and the Liar is a Shuake song. Yes, I know I've said it before, but I'm going a lot more in depth here. I've listened to it over and over, and have noticed just how much of the song can relate to Joker and Akechi. I will be explaining my thoughts processes here today.

"From the spotlight

I can see you"

This line works so well, As both the start of the song and their relationship. It's their first meeting, With Joker in the crowd and Akechi up on the stage, and yet Joker still catches his eye.

"Play your cards right

Kill your stage fright

This could be you"

This one might be a bit of a stretch, but this line symbolizes what Joker could have become. He didn't have to help people. He didn't have to become a phantom thief. He had the same powers as Akechi, he could've done the same thing. If he had played his cards right, he could've been up on that stage alongside him.

"If the whole worlds a stage

Let’s set it on fire"

This line I don't really have much for, but I'd love to hear what anyone else has!

"So you be the spy

And I’ll be the liar"

While there is a lot here, I feel it fits a lot better with another line, so I'll save that explanation for then

"From the background

You can hear me"

This is another line I don't have much for.

"Highest billing

Makes a killing

They revere me"

This line helps to represent just what Akechi is doing with with his gift. He's using it for fame, popularity. Something he has over Joker. People know his name, Know who he is. He isn't just some nobody like Joker.

"That beautiful mask you wear

Is all I desire

So you be the spy

And I’ll be the liar"

Here we are. The chorus. Let's start with the first two lines. It helps to represent just what Akechi wants to do. He wants to tear Jokers mask away. He's supposed to be this great detective prince, So why can't he figure out some kid with fake glasses? It infuriates him, He just wants to figure it out. To tear away the mask and see who Joker really is. But in the end, he just can't. Like a spy, Joker seems to always be one step ahead of him. No matter how much Akechi lies, how many masks he wears, Joker seems to see right through him.

"Face to face to face again

And through the camera lens we ascend"

Another line I don't have much for.

"You’re a minor part

I’m the major star

Ha!

The credits arе more than just the end"

This one is a bit obvious. It's a bit more on how Joker is basically nothing compared to him. Jokers but a mere stepping stone in Akechis path, at least in his eyes. As well as he's telling Joker to not call things too early. Like Okumura for example. They thought they were done, the credits rolled... But Akechi got the last laugh.

"‘Causе the truth is

I despise you

I will tear apart

All these works of art

That disguise you"

Here it is. The big reveal. He hates Joker. He wants to tear off their mask. To see who they really are. To destroy the person who has been ahead of them time and time again.

"I’m makin’ the final cut

It’s down to the wire"

Another line I don't have much for. This is the last of those though.

"So you’ll be the spy

And I’ll be the liar

And I’ll be the liar

And I’ll be the liar

And I'll be the liar!"

The final line. The chorus one final time. And the repetition. We've already been over Joker being the spy. But Akechi. He's confessed everything. His hatred. His rage. How he truly feels. And yet, He's still lying. All he really wants is one final game of chess.

There it is! That's everything! This is the first time I've done anything like this, so if it's bad, that's completely understandable! I hope at least one person ends up enjoying my take on this though!

[thereader-radhika]

Uttama Cholan Maduranthaka Thevar - Possibilities

When Maduranthaka Thevar makes an appearance in Book 3, he is introduced as

At the beginning of this story, we met Maduranthaka Thevar, one of the important characters, in Kadambur fort. On a later occasion, we met him as he was going through the subterranean passage of the dungeon into the Pazhuvettarayar palace at midnight. Both times, the famous Prince, who was to occupy the Chozha throne one day as Parakesari Uthama Chozhar, was not properly introduced to our readers. We now wish to make amends for this.

It is evident that it is about "fake Maduranthakan" himself, not Senthan Amudan. Senthan is nowhere in the chapter. Also the author goes on to explain Maduranthakan's ambitions,

But ever since he married the daughter of Chinna Pazhuvettarayar, two years before this story begins, he began to have a change of mind. A small spark of desire, fanned in its first stages by the Pazhuvoor Ilaya Rani, soon grew into a raging forest fire.

Why was this changed? In my opinion, Kalki realised that Arulmozhi's "sacrifice" won't have the desired impact if he lets Maduranthakan continue as a grey character with a positive character arc. In historical records, Rajaraja Cholan comes across as an insufferable boaster (how do so many people know about the shankhu and chakram inside his palm, lol) which is tolerated only because he was successful.

"Arunmolivarman who understood the essence of royal conduct, desired not the kingdom for himself even in (his) mind, while his paternal uncle coveted his (i.e., Arunmolivarmanan's) dominions" (Thiruvalangadu copper plates)

It was Arinjayan's line that usurped the rightful position of Kandarathithan's son. Maduranthakan might have been young, but that wasn't a valid reason. Arinjayan and Sundara Cholan could have served as the regents of the boy king.

I think Kalki got feedback from discerning readers and relatives asking why can't Maduranthakan ascend the throne. Many people didn't find Rajaraja Cholan's actions a "Thiyaga Sigaram" (Pinnacle of Sacrifice) because Maduranthakan was more eligible than him. Even after making Arulmozhi Varman too nice and magnanimous, Kalki struggles a bit to explain why people like him.

"Some do great things in this world and steal the hearts of people. Some sing, dance, compose poetry, paint, make sculptures and earn the praise of people. But some others are simply born great. Without any specific reason they earn the love and praise of all the people they come in contact with. That exactly is charisma which is a gift Nature has conferred on them. The finest example of a person in this class is Ponniyin Selvan."

Kalki didn't want to say bad things about Emperor Uttama Cholan either. So there is a seperate nice Emperor Uttama Cholan/Sendhan Amudan and Arulmozhi Varman's renunciation is a real sacrifice because he elevates an impoverished commoner to the position of the Emperor.

Two historical events need to happen

• Aditha Karikalan's death • Uttama Cholan's coronation

If this ambitious Maduranthakan was originally supposed to become the Emperor, how would have Kalki shaped his character?

Some possibilities

• Maduranthakan just looks beautiful. He isn't Nandini's twin or Mandakini's son. • Maduranthakan and Nandini are Kandharadithar's illegitimate children. • They are Sundara Cholan's children and Karikalan commits suicide for the sin of having incestuous desires about his sister. • Maduranthakan realises the truth and removes himself from the line of succession. Arulmozhi crowns him anyway.

What do you think? Let us discuss all crazy possibilities. Please tag your friends too.

@willkatfanfromasia @celestesinsight @vibishalakshman @nspwriteups @thelekhikawrites @whippersnappersbookworm @aakhyaayikaa @harinishivaa

[yoonkinii]

We Were Human

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Part 2:

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent ascended Astarion from losing himself the only problem? You don’t have a lot of time.

-

Masterlist

Warnings: Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended astarion, prepare for the worse.

Note(s): For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware.

Thank You.

-

The water was warm against my skin, chasing away the chill that coated my flesh like second skin. After my whole breakdown with Astarion, he had to step out to assist Gale with Wyll. If I was remembering correctly, the city was being rebuilt by everyone still left alive and Wyll had taken on the position of Duke. Everyone in my little team ended up with a high ranking position, each controlling a certain decision when it came to rebuilding the city. Karlach was paired with Damon with rebuilding homes and stores. Shadowheart and Halsin took care of the injured. Lae’zel looked over people working so they don’t fall out of line. Jaheira and Minsc left the city looking for survivors that may have found misfortune. Gale was sort of Wylls advisor, using his vast amount of intellect when Wyll need it. And Astarion was the Lord of Szaars place, an already powerful figure just by title. Even more powerful when the very first ascended vampyre owned it.

Astarion left with Gale, muttering something alone the lines of ‘mortals can’t do anything’ but agreed to help regardless. It was a little strange to be back in the position of the hero of Baldurs Gate and not confined to one room. I can’t help but find myself waiting to wake up, to open my eyes and be greeted with the same dark ceiling. I wait and wait but I never wake up. None of it felt real and I was scared it wasn’t real; that I somehow died in my sleep and was just replaying my memories.

That was an absurd notion. He would never let me die. Not when my life was controlled by him in every aspect.

The door to the bathroom opened gently, a familiar face entering. She paused in front of the now closed door, eyes trained to the floor as she bowed slightly at the waist. Her green wide eyes glanced up at me nervously, orange hair pinned back with some clips.

“Lucinda.” I greeted her with a smile, singling her to come in with a nod.

Lucinda was one of the first servants we ever hired to serve in the palace. She lost her entire family in the final battle and was lost without a loved one or home. She was also the first spawn Astarion made- minus me.

Flashes of tangled limbs, Lucinda’s hair, and his dark gaze watching me flashed in my mind. I couldn’t help but grimace at the memory. I had walked into our shared room without a second thought only to be faced with him bedded with Lucinda. Even in the darkened room, I could see the love filled gaze Lucinda gaze into him while he watched me with a raised brow as if I was the one in the wrong. I sobbed my heart out that day- or my figurative heart out.

Lucinda tried to smile back at me but it looked strained- like her skin wasn’t used to moving like that. That was how she usually was. She was quiet but efficient and half the time she felt like a ghost, silently walking around the palace and doing what was expected of her without a single complaint.

Even as she got closer to me, I didn’t feel any hatred towards her. I knew she was one of his victims, knew that she fell for the false promises and loveless lyrics that danced on his tongue. I also fell for them.

Lucinda wordlessly assisted bathing me, gentle and nimble fingers making sure every part of my body was clean before offering me a towel to dry off. We were both silent even as she fit me into my gown for the evening. She tightened the bodice, pinned my hair up in a crown of braids, and dangled silver jewlery from my ears and neck. I stood before a mirror, eyes slightly widened as I looked back at my reflection. My reflection ws another privilege I had lost from him. It was so simple for him, taking things away from me without a second thought. He could give but he could also take. My throat tightened as I recalled how I was able to stand in the sun and now I could even see my reflection.

My eyes trailed over my gown and I had to admit that Lucinda picked something splendid for today. The maroon dress was made from rich, luxurious fabric that had a subtle sheen to it, adding a touch of opulence to the overall appearance. The bodice of the dress was tailored to perfection, creating a flattering and regal appearance for my body. Intricate silver thread adorned the neckline and cuffs, depicting carefully crafted whirls of life on the fabric.

The neckline of the dress was boat shaped, covering most of my chest but still exposing my collarbones. The sleeves were long and flowy, the cuffs of my sleeves almost creating maroon waves; swishing with every movement of my hands. The skirt of the dress was full and cascaded to the floor and even though it was long, I could still move freely. Just like the neckline and cuffs, the hem of the dress was adorned with the same intricate threading.

My lips were painted with color and my eyes lined with kohl to accentuate my features. Lucinda gingerly placed black heels before me- offering her hand to help me balance as I put on the heels. Once done, I looked at my reflection once, nodding with acceptance.

“Astarion is with Wyll still, correct?”

“Yes, My Lady.” Lucinda replied so softly that if there was any other sort of noise in the room, I would’ve missed her response. “Lord Astarion has not returned from the Dukes.”

“Thank you, Lucinda. I will be heading over there now.”

She nodded her head, bowing at the waist as I turned to leave the bathroom. Exiting the bathroom, I walked down the halls I had been locked away in. I noticed that some decorations were missing- we must have not gotten them yet. The palace was made up of two stories. Upon entering, a grand foyer awaits, featuring double sweeping staircases parallel from each other. The staircases were carpeted with a dark red runner leading to the second floor before continuing down the halls of the second floor. The walls were decorated with various tapestries purchased from various merchants. The double staircases create a sort of entryway to the reception room appointed with fine furniture and gilded fixtures.

After accessing the second floor via that staircase, it branches out left and right. The halls create a sort of square shape, if someone was to walk left and follow down the hall, they would end up at the opposite of the staircase they used to get up. The whole palace had dark wooden floors in every room and dark walls that constantly casted the palace in a permanent shadow, even with the windows open. The halls are lined with a series of private chambers and living quarters. The servants quarters take up most of the left side of the second floor, various rooms provided from them- even if Lucinda is the only current servant. Towards the second floor, in the middle of the two halls, lies Astarions study. An exquisite study with towering bookshelves and the same exquisite furniture that can be found around the house. The back wall of his study, across from the entrance to it, is made out of pure glass. Differing window panes were used to create a floor to ceiling window-wall that showcased the city below.

Our shared bedroom is down the hall from his office. If someone was to exit his study, take a left and walk down the hall until they turned the corner, the first door on the left would lead to our chambers. Upon entering, the canopied bed is pressed against the middle of the wall, black lace curtains offering privacy whenever needed. To the left of the bed, there were doors that lead to a private balcony that was large enough to adorn a small table and two chairs. I usually found Astarion reading there when he had enough free time. There wasn’t much in our room, other than the usual litter of Astarions book collection and a small work desk pressed against the corner of the wall next to the balcony doors. Astarion rarely ever used it, choosing to do his work in his studies. The walls were adorned with artwork but the most notable one was the portrait of not only Astarion and I but everyone in our small little team. All of us were wearing smiles on our faces, even Lae’zel who seemed to have a permanent frown etched onto her skin. That portrait hung above the work desk and there were a few times I had caught Astarion looking at it as he sat at that desk.

I finished climbing down the staircase, heels clicking against the wooden floor that was exposed from the lack of carpet covering it. I exited the palace and was greeted with the same scene I saw the first time I stepped out but less people were out. This wasn’t surprising since the sun was already starting to set. I followed the familiar path to where I knew Astarion would be, weaving and dodging people that were too busy to notice me passing by. A few did notice me, waving and calling out to me. I could only offer a small wave and smile back as I passed down various streets. The city looked almost unrecognizable with all the decimated buildings and death clinging to the air.

Finally reaching the building I was looking for, I opened the doors and was created with a long hallway with many doors lining the walls. It was somehow even busier inside than outside. People were walking to and from between rooms, carrying various things. Some were even running, expertly dodging those that weren’t in such a hurry. Voices merged, creating a muddle of echoes bouncing off the walls. I was only able to catch glimpses of conversation as I walked down the hall to the large wooden double doors at the end of the hall.

“No, no, we can’t use that material because…”

“What are we going to do about the limited space in the cemetery…”

“...funds are not being included when it should be you imbecile…”

Pushing the doors open, the hinges made no sound as I slipped through. Immediately, I was greeted with five males crowding around a large oval shaped table placed in the middle of the room. I only recognized three of them; Gale, Wyll, and Astarion. In my, I guess, other life, I had never stepped foot into this building when Astarion was called upon. I was too busy documenting expenses and checking who needed what in order to rebuild.

Wyll glanced up from where him and everyone else in the room was looking down at the parchment on the table. He smiled, tilting his head to the side- offering me to stand next to Astarion. Taking him up on his offer, I walked to where my husband stood, his back facing me. He didn’t bother looking behind himself to see who entered the room, he probably thought it was a servant coming in with new documents.

Gale spoke up from his position beside Wyll, his hand once again rubbing along his jaw in thought. His eyes flickered to me as I stood across from him next to Astarion. He nodded in regard before continuing with that was being discussed before I walked in,

“They have to be dealt with now before they are able to turn into something worse.”

A simple glance down at the table was all I needed to know what was going on. It was a map of Faerûn, several circles drawn indicating different camps strung out along where the shadow cursed lands were. Well, former shadow cursed lands were at since the land was cured because of Halsin and some of my help.

“What do you mean?” I ask, leaning slightly over the table to catch a batter look at the map. A hand trailed down the small of my back before resting on the right side of my waist. A soft kiss was pressed to my head as Astarion pressed his body against my left side of my own body- like being away from me was hard for him to do.

“Nothing too dreary. Just some Goblin camps that keep sprouting about the shadowed lands.” Astarion replied, sounding like there was nothing to worry about. I could hear the smile he wore on his face as he spoke. Rolling my eyes, a knowing smile took over my face as I crossed my arms, “Yes. Goblins congregating. Nothing serious.”

Wyll cleared his throat, “I know we have to deal with this situation soon but we don’t have any manpower to spare. Not with everything still in shambles. I am only suggesting to hold off until we have more able hands.”

“If we wait any longer, these damn things will already be in the city, wreaking havoc!” a deep and gruff voice cried out. I looked to the owner of the voice, his bright red hair contrasting against his olive toned skin. He was lithe and a little shorter than Astarion. His brown eyes almost feline like as he glared down at the table, his lips curled in a snarl. The manner and tone of his voice did not suit someone who appeared like him but then again, many things in this world didn’t suit it.

“Then what do you suggest, Doran?” Astarion replied, his voice laced with venom as he said Dorans name. Astarion eyed the younger male, raising a brow towards him mockingly.

Doran glowared, mumbling under his breath as he looked away from Astarion, fists clenching at his sides. A deep sigh resulted from the interaction, causing me to look at the final man in the room. He appeared older than the rest of us, graying beard lining his jaw, grayed hair sitting close to his skull, wrinkles from age sagging against his skin. He was shorter than all of us, his bear bell sticking out from under his clothes and thick arms massaged his temples in annoyance. I regarded him with a tilt to my head, wondering who he was and why he was here. I wondered the same thing about Doran but I knew they were meant to be here as well.

I cleared my throat, drawing everyone’s attention towards me. Licking my bottom lip, my gaze met Wylls, “They are right. These Goblins need to be handled immediately.”

Wyll opened his lips to retort but it died in his throat as I raised my hand to continue speaking, “I understand we don’t have the resources for this currently and that is why I am going to be handling this myself.” As I spoke, my mind flashed to what I knew from the future. I can only remember small glimpses of this situation and that’s because when it happened in my true life, I took no part in it.

The goblins were a problem, we didn’t have resources to deal with them and as a solution, Astarion went by himself to handle them. When he came back, he smiled less.

If I am here back in the past with a second chance, I was going to take advantage of it. If this is the first instance where Astarion took a step toward becoming him then I would do something I didn’t do in my time. I was going to go along with him.

“What?” Astarions voice rang out in the room, the hand on my waist tensing. “What do you mean?”

I looked up at him, brows pinching together in thought, “Well, it makes sense” I continued, “We don’t have enough people to spare to send out so why not spare me? I’m sure my skills are equivalent to at least ten soldiers.” I looked over at Wyll, brow raised in question. Wyll was in thought for a few moments, a breath being released from his pursed lips,

“Well-” He drawled, “It’s not a bad idea.”

I clasped my hands together in glee, before anyone could say anything else, “Then it’s settled!”

“Hold on. You must be a lunatic for thinking I am just going to let you go alone.” Astarion argued, his hand gone from my waist and now placed on his hip as he looked at me like I really was a lunatic.

I cooed, stepping closer to him so we were chest to chest, “And you are so cute for thinking I was going to go alone to begin with.” I pinched his cheek teasingly, nose wrinkly in delight, “You’re coming with me.” I said as I walked past him to the exit. A few seconds ticked by before he exploded in curses and whining about getting dirt under his nails.

-

“Darling, are you sure about this?”

Astarions voice questioned from across the room as he stood in front of a mirror hanging on the wall, fusing over his hair. The room was illuminated by several candles placed on wall mounted holders, the sun had gone an hour ago and casted the world in darkness.

I huffed out a small laugh, combing through my hair as I sat on the edge of the bed, “What do you mean? Of course I am sure. I thought you would jump for joy at the chance of leaving the city.”

Astarion eyes narrowed at me as he finally stepped away from the mirror and made his way towards me. “Me?” He placed his palm against his chest, “Be excited about leaving the city and all the comforts it has to offer. Oh, Yes, I am very excited.” His tone was filled with sarcasm as he sat beside me on the bed, my body bouncing slightly from his sudden weight being applied. He wordlessly grabbed the brush from my hand, gently running it through my locks and running his fingers through it every so often.

A slight pout formed on my lips, “What’s the big problem? You don’t want to spend quality time with me?”

He snorted, something only he would ever do with me, “Love, I would be chained to you if I was able. I just don’t find the whole ‘natures delight’ very appealing after being in it for so long.” I turned to face him, beaming at him with a smile,

“That’s what makes it fun! It will be just like old times, only this time you aren’t holding a knife to my throat.”

He gasped in mock shock, “How dare you bring that up? I needed help against an admirable foe and you told me to handle it myself. I was very hurt.” His chin lowered, accentuating the pout on his lips as he looked at me through his white lashes.

“It was a boar! Not an Illithid. You flat out lied to me.”

“Yes but that is beside the point. I needed help and you didn’t give it to me. I thought you were a kind soul.”

“I am a kind soul. I was just preoccupied with a whole worm in my skull.” I reasoned, refusing to look at him. I can’t lie, I may have come off a little rude when we first met. Sometimes even Shadowheart teases me for it since she just stood by and watched. My hair was pushed behind my shoulder, revealing the skin exposed from the new nightgown I had on. It was simply, just white satin that stopped mid thigh, the straps thin like most of my nightwear.

Soft lips pressed against my bare shoulder and my heart swelled. It was things like this that I missed most of all, the little things he would do to me. How he would reach over towards whenever I was near, the random kisses pressed softly against my skin like a butterflies touch, catching my gaze from across the room only to smile at me, to just be near me.

His lips were then pressed against my cheek before breaking away and going to his side of the bed. The sheets rustled under his movement as he peeled back the bedding and slipped under it. I moved to get under the sheets as well but froze as I turned. It somehow slipped my mind about his sleeping habits and how he used to sleep in only nightwear pants that hung low on his hips. His back was turned towards me as he reached over to place his shirt on a nightstand beside the table.

Silently getting other the covers and laying down, I couldn't help but reach over and have my fingertips graze over the abused flesh. He flinched like I hurt him and I flinched back in return.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out, keeping my hands close to my chest.

He looked over his shoulder at me, ruby eyes dimly lit against the warm light. His features seemed warmer as well, he almost seemed to be kissed by the sun and not the pale vampire people are used to. I looked away from him, ashamed by my actions as I focused on watching the ceiling. My gaze snapped back to him as his fingers brushed against my cheekbone. He was now on his back, propped up by his forearms,

“It’s okay. You can touch it.”

That was all he said before he turned and exposed his back to me once more. I stared at his back wide eyed, not believing what was happening. Even in my true life, I had never dared to touch his scars. They told a story that I believe he would rather hide and ignore cause they serve as a reminder. Only a few people know about the scars and even then, they never bring it up so I didn’t either.

Shifting closer to him, I was meer inches away from his back as the tips of my fingers gently traced the part of a ritual carved onto his delicate skin. Mysterious word that I could not read regardless of knowing the purpose it served. A few minutes of silence passed as I traced his past with such a gentle touch. I was afraid that touching too hard would break him even when his tormentor was gone, he never really left. He lurked in the shadows of the halls, taunting Astarion. There were a handful of times I could remember Astarion breaking out into a cold sweat from seeing a figure in the corner of his eye, a scent that was too familiar, a phrase being said came from the mouth of a ghost. During those times, Astarion would lock himself away from the world and it was only once that I was able to enter the room and what I had found broke me into a million pieces.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the memory to fade away into the recesses of my mind. I sighed through my nose, pressing my forehead to his back as my hand draped around his waist. In an instant, his hand laid atop mine, squeezing it. Perhaps he was imagining a life without the freedom he has obtained, a life where he was never captured by the absolute, a life where he never pressed a knife to my throat, a life where none of this ever happened. Perhaps he imagined all that and squeezed my hand to remember that this was all real.

Perhaps I should’ve said something to him but I didn’t. Not as sleep dug its claws into my skin and pulled me under.

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