#for example if you ascend him he uses the “i love you” line

[bhaalsdeepbat]

just to add:

Using Poe rather than any other Dark Romantic writer that was his contemporary to pull a quote from was such a good choice. Of his sotries, "The Tell-Tale Heart" was the perfect one for Astarion, but Poe very specifically believed stories should be written in a circular manner - like a snake biting its tail - which fits so perfectly with all the little ways Astarion's story and romance references itself.

Direct quote from my source:

Poe believed in “fashioning a tale like a kind of ouroboros, with its tail in its mouth, beginning with the final effect and working backwards to that the story’s beginning is a natural derivation of its conclusion.”

It's the setting up of the Romantic Astarion in act 1, finding out he's not as fine as he keeps insisting as the narrative swings into Dark Romantic territory, the paranoia starts to really come out (relating back to tell-tale heart), and then he is literally given a choice: continue the cycle or break free. The cycle of abuse is literally a circle here. He can take up Cazador's place in the ritual and step into his role entirely, reentering the ouroboros I mentioned earlier.

The "Thank you" when he first bites the player being referenced later when they see past his paranoia and how unreliable of a narrator he is about his own feelings and seeing that he doesn't want power. He wants safety in a world that he believes isn't capable of kindness or good.

I love how Astarion quotes The Tell-Tale Heart every once in a while. It's a rarer line, and initially I thought it was out of place (Neil is very well versed in theater, so I assumed it was a riff from him), but since reading an analysis of the work I think it was pretty purposeful.

The piece is all about fear and paranoia, things we know Astarion is plagued by despite how he might act. Similarly, the narrator of the story also tries to convince the reader that they are not as troubled as they seem. In the end, the narrator is consumed by the beating of the heart of the old man he killed and dismembered, the sound growing louder and louder until in a fit of rage he reveals the body to the police to absolve himself from the persistent beating.

Except the police never heard the heart beat, because it wasn't the old man's heart at all. The narrator was consumed by the sound of his own heart beating more and more rapidly in his chest from fear. He was the owner of the thing that forced him to reveal his true nature, he is the owner of the tell-tale heart.

And what happens with Astarion after you romance him? He realizes over time that, while he tried to deny his feelings and was initially only interested in manipulating you for his own means, he actually has grown to care for you. You have done something to his heart that hasn't happened in centuries, you have made it feel as if it has started beating again.

Therefore, his tell-tale heart leads him to admit his transgressions, which were committed out of fear and paranoia for his safety.

So the line is actually very, very apt. His confession during Act 2 is his own version of "Villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!" Except, of course, it is his own heart that he is unearthing for us (and it's not so hideous, after all).

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.28

*just based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Sorry it’s been a minute, I got my time back then I got sick- like same day! I’m good now, thank god, but it was absolutely insane and everything has been going on in the world, my God)

-If your moon opposes your ascendant you may be known for making the wrong impressions on people (especially first impressions) at some point in your life

-Not the first time I said this but I feel like Libra Asc tend to need to balance out aspects of their life more bc of their houses having the opposite signs over them.

-On the other hand I feel like Aries asc have a very straightforward, sometimes less complicated world view bc of their houses lining up with their traditional rulers.

-Mars in determemt and fall (Libra, cancer, 12th house) really gives you a finite amount of stamina

-I feel like cancer venus/moons tend to wax the most poetically and romantically about the nostalgia they feel. Even stronger for Venus.

-Men with cancer placements be like: I didn’t know I was manipulating you into being nice to me until it was already happening (lmao oof)

-I noticed Aries and Scorpio Sun men/masc folks can get romanticized a lot, I think this is bc their identity is ruled by mars traditionally, so they tend to be assigned more masculine traits/act their traits out in a more “traditionally” (or even just comfortably) masculine way

-Aqua Sun/asc/venus usually have some features that makes their face really stand out I noticed (unique brow/nose/head shape etc) (idk why I haven’t seen this with moons as much)

-Signs in your 8th house may come off as mysterious or hard to understand

-You may find it really easy to vibe with people that have Sun conjunct your Asc

-I’ve noticed that a lot of Virgo mars may eat like really spicy or punishing foods (especially if the mars is in a fire house)

-Saturn aspecting your big 3 can help you age really well- depending on how well you take care of yourself (extreme example: dick van dyke, he’s almost 100 and he’s still jumping around with so much energy)

-Pisces placements can be like incredibly intelligent and yet still come off as a bit spacey (one of my favorite YouTubers used to head extra credits and he is SO SMART, like just a seriously huge capacity for knowledge but he sounds spacey when he does his chill gameplays and pieces things together unscripted lol)

-Jupiter square/opposition Sun can make you come off as overly pessimistic, it can also make you come off as optimistic at the wrong times (laughing at serious moments, etc)

-Taurus placements are so motivated by food, it’s so real (the amount of times I’ve had a Taurus sun/moon/mars not hear a word I was saying bc they were scoping out a restaurant? Countless lol)

-I notice a lot of rappers & musicians (especially the innovative ones) have major Pisces placements

-Aries moons get emotional fulfillment by winning what they chase after (Aries in big 6 tends to make you go after things in general too imo)

-I noticed sometimes Leo moon can make you a bit self centered, like in the most literal sense, you may have trouble understanding perspectives outside of your own

-Virgos and Geminis and 3rd/6th house placements have great memory but they tend to forget certain aspects. They tend to forget or mix up details. (My ex took like 3 years to remember my middle name beyond the first initial lol god; also, I always remember zodiac signs but not birthdays lol)

-I love how Joe Pera has a cancer Mercury and his comedy is like the coziest comedy I’ve ever heard, he even got his following bc his helping people fall asleep and just talking through his chill podcast (did not expect him to have like the most fire in his chart tho?? Wouldn’t have guessed lol)- Pisces Mercury and Mercury with hard aspects to Neptune probably have a cozy affect on others when they communicate with them too

[escxelle]

about astarion and love

"astarion would never buy flowers for you like wyll or wax poetry for you like gale" etc. etc. blah blah blah

i hear people say this all the time and they always say it as if that's a bad thing.

like have you considered that not everyone wants traditional grand romantic gestures? astarion doesn't offer a fairytale romance, declaring his love from the rooftops of a burning building but he does offer a loyal companionship, a soft gentle romance that's just as meaningful.

you can yap yap yap all you want but i got the line "i'll be here when you're ready. i'll always be here, my love" in the final camp scenes which, yes, does show his committment and loyalty to you. he doesn't kiss you in the epilogue but he does hold your hand and he says that whatever the future holds, you'll be facing it together.

because astarion needs a companion more than a lover and honestly if you say that he needs a friend more than a lover after he confesses to you in act 2 (before you defeat ketheric in moonrise), his reaction is so much more meaningful than if you select any of the romance options (imo at least). he cares more about your companionship than he does your romance so no, he doesn't do traditional grand romantic gestures that you see in fairytales but that does not mean he cares about you or loves you any less than any of the other companions do.

soft astarion does exist canonically in the game so it's not ooc. his softness isn't like the other companions because astarion's trauma is vastly different to any of the other characters in the game. and no this softness is not infantilising him.

if you choose to romance astarion then you've chosen a lifelong loyal companion, who yes, will sometimes most likely kiss and tease you, flirt and sleep with you but that is not the main takeaway from that relationship. he probably won't even tell you that he loves you that often (like in the actual game itself) but it will be in his actions and his other words.

even in the game, astarion tells you that he wants you to see him as more than sex because he has a very difficult relationship with sex and romance. hence why he will decline having sex with the drow twins, hence why he's fine with you sleeping with halsin and he even asks if it's because the two of you haven't had sex in a while etc. etc. there are so many other examples i can list here. and furthermore, if you do choose the "you need a friend more than a lover" option after his act 2 confession, he says that he's had countless lovers but he cannot remember ever having a single friend.

i personally headcanon astarion as demisexual and demiromantic (yes i'm largely projecting but shhh) maybe even aroace so that your relationship is more of a queer platonic relationship because his post-game scenes are focused more on your companionship than your love or sex life (and because of all the other examples i used). me having this headcanon does not mean that i am infantilising him either by the way, you don't have to have sex to be an adult.

anyway, i'm rambling at this point but astarion is so dear to my heart so it upsets me so much when people just boil his character down to "hot sexy flirty vampire" or say that his romance is boring compared to the others because he doesn't love you like the others do etc. etc.

soft astarion my beloved <3 and yes he does exist (and no for the third time, this is not infantilising!)

(fyi i am only talking about spawn astarion here, ascended astarion can go rot in a coffin for all i care)

[meanbossart]

do you have any thoughts on cazador as a character? personally i really loved the parallels between him and astarion & the way that the master/spawn relationship is used as an allegory for cyclical abuse. the scene with cazador’s master’s skull where you find out that he was once victimized in the exact same way that he later victimized astarion was really a lightbulb moment for me re: what vampirism represents in this game.

BOY DO I, i don't think much of it hasn't already been said, though. He's a tragic character in his own right of course, not that that takes away from the awful man he is.

Me and my boyfriend make fun of him a lot, we call him "the best BG3 character" as a little inside joke between us and come up with ridiculous scenarios of things that might have occurred throughout those 200 miserable years the spawn had under his command lol. Maybe he had a month where he was really specific about the shoes everyone wore, maybe once every other decade he had a weird week where he tried to be "nice" only to become frustrated when his efforts weren't immediately met in kind by the rightfully-terrified spawn, maybe between all the torture and horrific-ness he just did some plain weird shit like making someone crouch by in his fainting couch and wait by open-handed for grapes that he dramatically chewed on and then spat right out since he can't actually eat them lmao

And that's hysterical but I think we also started doing that because when you meet Cazador, when you first hear his voice and see his demeanor in person your immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "THIS is the clown you were so scared of, Astarion?"

And the answer is, of course, yes. This embarrassing little man stuck in a cage of his making instills fear beyond comprehension in Astarion and all his siblings. This man who undoubtedly showed all these spawn, inadvertently, the strangest, most arguably "human" aspects of himself at some point or another during these two centuries they had together is also an absolute monster. And i really like that! I think its far more effective and fitting for his story than if he was, lets say, a Ketheric type.

(this got very long so, more under the cut)

Look at Ascended Astarion in the epilogue now, for example. Everyone agrees that he's an absolute fucking dork - and I think we all also agree that he will go on to destroy the lives of many people beyond repair, especially his own, until the day he is killed.

In the topic of vampirism as an allegory for abuse, I both agree and also don't, at least not exactly - i just think it's deeper than that. I've spoken about this in another post but i find it incredibly refreshing how, to me, it seems like Baldur's Gate 3 has no interest in painting vampirism as sexy or fun past a surface level. It's a curse that nobody asks for unless put in a situation where they feel as if they have no other way out, and it shapes and haunts you for the rest of your undead existence.

Even if you enjoy its benefits at first, that has a time limit. You will see your family and loved ones die, you will see culture evolve while you stay perpetually the same. You will experience so much hurt and pain because the only thing that makes life truly sweet is knowing that it is finite, and eventually it will wear down all of your humanity. And since you can't die unless you are scorched by the sun, staked, or dismembered, you must live with the knowledge that you will never have a peaceful death - and since you won't have a peaceful death, you better not die - and if you don't want to die, you better not be weak - and if you don't want to be weak, you must seek out power at all cost and slash things like love and friendship out of your life.

And what is funny, is that in his attempt to be more like a mortal - to eat, drink, walk the sun, such incredibly simple desires - Cazador (and Astarion, if he ascends) is accidentally only drawing further away from the person he supposedly once was, because that fear of weakness has already utterly corrupted his soul.

That's quite a grim way to look at it, of course. But I genuinely think that it is the natural conclusion of something like immortality.

That's why I quite like that, even after Astarion has found happiness, even after he finds his peace, he still doesn't exactly embrace being a vampire - because It's not something he should be expected to embrace. I think it's a very unique take on the trope.

I also want to leave here this message written by his character writer, which really got me thinking about him on a deeper level since i saw it months ago. It is specifically about the sexual aspect, but I think it branches beyond it too, when you think about it.

[yoonkinii]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Baldurs Gate:

Astarion

We Were Human

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

(Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent Astarion from losing himself once more. The only problem? You don't have a lot of time.)

Theme Song: Vore - Sleep Token

"You have become the voice in my head Only recourse we're left after death Your viscera welcome me in, welcome me in My life is torn, my bones, they bleed My metaphors fall short in the end Your flesh and bone welcome me in, welcome me in Are you in pain like I am?"

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Warning(s): Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended astarion, prepare for the worst. (Will be updated as more parts are released)

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ...

Status: on hold

Note(s):

For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware. You notice many things that were not included in the game but it I ensure that it is on purpose and isn't just there randomly. It should also be noted that when I post, I post the raw draft before I go back and edit the story. I do this so I am able to post consistently without having readers wait. I will go back and edit once I am able so if you notice spelling mistakes, I apologize.

Soulless Soul

Spawn!AstarionxAbsolute!VampyreReader

 Synopsis: There he stands, eyes downcast and shoulders caving in on himself. He does not look weary as he was pricked and prodded to fit the standards of his master. He has no idea why he is here- lined up amongst his siblings in the dining hall. His back aches, scars he knows that have not healed properly catching onto the rough fabric of his shirt. He watched the floor, he knew better not to meet the eyes of the predators that lurked before. He doesn’t even look up when the hem of an emerald green dress stands before him.

“This one. I want this one.” 

He does not allow himself the privilege of hope to blossom in his chest at those words. 

Theme Song: Soulless Creatures - Aurora

All the pieces of my body's gone Look at me now and tell me how I feel inside Every pieces that I lost, I have loved

Warning(s):  mentions of sexual trauma, Physical assault, gore, death, panic attacks, cursing, (more will be added as the story progresses if needed)

Note(s): Redacted in case of spoilers. I will upload notes with the first chapter

Part(s): TBA

Jujutsu Kaisen:

Gojo Satoru

Perfectly Imperfect

Synopsis: Everyone is born with a soulmate. Everyone knows by the time they hit age 18, a different kind of soulmate mark will appear. Some are unable to see color until they meet their soulmates gaze, others have matching tattoos. These are the more common ones; ones that can be tracked down in history but others are rare. So rare that there’s rarely any information available about it. Rare like yours and the only case of this soulmarking was dated decades ago with only two lines describing it.

"Person A and Person B afflicted by this marking will discover themselves to be covered in string-like tattoo markings in certain areas. These areas are what the soulmate A or B deem unworthy of themselves; or rather, what they hate about themself."

This wouldn't be a problem for you if it wasnt for the fact that everything from the collarbone to your ankles was decorated in white string-like lines.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Theme song: Bonfire - wave to earth

What color is my sky painted? What color is your emotion? Close your eyes slowly and feel the wind. The bonfire is fading out. Maybe we are falling Falling down with the rain.

amore mio aiutami- Piero Piccioni (literally the song that plays when M/C looks at him)

Warning(s):

18+, Sub!Gojo (gasp!), cursing, mentions of self-hate, discussion of Self-hate, mentions of minor character death- Will be added as chapters progress but if you see something that I didn’t include here, please let me know!

Note(s):

Expect this to be a short fic. I do not plan on having this over 6 parts and even then it could be less or couple chapters more. Depends on how I write everything.

Part(s): TBA

Ryomen Sukuna

Snippets of Love

Synopsis: Glimpses of your relationship with Sukuna through prompts/questions.

Paring: Sukuna x Reader

Theme Song: Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco

So I had a late Arrival So, we never saw the start of each others lives heart to heart

Notable tags: ModernAU, slight age gap, Canon/Fanon implements, Sukuna still has his tattoos, CEO Sukuna, uncle Sukuna, college student reader, pierced Sukuna.

Note(s): Inspired to do this series based on Kyarrcha fanart of Sukuna on Instagram! I want this to be mostly based on requests about certain moments such as when Sukuna and you first met, first date, and things like that. This can also include certain scenarios or environments. Feel free to send in requests but I will also add in my own takes.

Requests: Open.

Warnings: will be listed in the sections.

You are not required to read snippets in order, but it is recommended.

How y♡u first met Sukuna!

How y♡u met Sukuna again (and got his number)!

First date with Sukuna!

Sukuna letting y♡u doll him up!

Sukuna with drunk y♡u

Jealous Y♡u

Argument with Sukuna

Choso Kamo

Echos of Love

Synopsis: Choso is one of the few to possess abilities that transcend human limits. His family was taken away from him and he was given to serve the king. He was trained in nothing else but to kill and follow orders. He was a man made weapon. His name whispered in fear- the kingdom's boogeyman. He hates it though. Hates how his freedom was ripped from his hands. Hates how his ‘gift’ is more like a curse. He is offered a deal he can’t deny- transport the princess to safety in a neighboring kingdom. The only problem is, she’s the daughter of the man that took everything from him and she is being hunted down by unknown forces. 

Pairing: Choso x Reader

Theme Song: my love is mine all mine - Mitski

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you? 'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine

Notable tags: FantasyAU, Fanon (I am creating my own world and using some pieces of jjk in it), major character death, (Will be updated as chapters are released)

Note(s): Teehee, I love Choso.

Part(s): TBA

[autistichalsin]

I know I am in the extreme minority, but there hasn't been a single change Larian has made to the game post-release that I have worse than neutral about, and most of them I consider moderate to extreme improvements. There are some added lines I didn't like per se, but I never liked those less than what was (not) there originally. Some examples (most Halsin-focused because those are the ones I pay the most attention to)

Neutral:

Changing Gortash's note

Allowing the Dark Urge to have a flirty line with Gortash (if that has been confirmed)

Changes to certain dismissal lines

Halsin's line if you show him Kagha's letter

Spawn Astarion's response if the player sleeps with Mizora

Some of the new lines for Halsin re: Baldur's Gate, Shadow Druids, etc

Liked:

Additions to the epilogue that let you talk to your (former?) love interest if you went to hell with Avernus, rode dragons with Lae'zel, etc

Other new lines for Halsin re: Baldur's Gate, Shadow Druids, etc

Scenes dealing with Vlaakith path Lae'zel ascending, the implications of this, etc in the end

Loved:

New kisses

Camp idle behaviors

The Halsin-Minthara ultimatum

The epilogue party

Halsin's expanded post-Drow discussion

Halsin's platonic path

The updated lines when spawn Astarion gets burned in the sun

Cuddling cinematic post-Drow foursomes/moresomes

The new bad ending sequence, both in terms of animation, and the fact that now romanced Minthara or Ascended Astarion who encouraged the player to take over are spared by the player (if anything, I feel they could change this bit MORE and give us more of the aftermath of the player thralling their friends and loved ones)

The new note in the epilogue from Archdruid Francesca, mentioning sending Ormn to live with Halsin at his commune

The new Speak With the Dead lines for Halsin if he dies to Orin instead of in the goblin camp

Karlach's ending with Wyll and/or the player in Avernus

The option to tell Halsin you want to join him at his commune

... Etc.

I can think of nothing off the top of my head that I think made the game worse. At worst I might go "strange to add that as it didn't change anything," I.E. Halsin's non-reaction to Kagha's note. I didn't hate it- I just felt it added nothing. (Maybe it's a way of setting flags for the dialogues specific to Halsin knowing about the Shadow Druids in case the player didn't investigate Kagha before finding him?) But I can't think of anything that made the story/my experience worse in any way.

I know people keep complaining that Larian is "listening to some fans over others" and such, but to me, I don't think they have done that? Very few of these seem in any way like they were influenced by fan complaints (and the few that were, were, in my opinion, definite improvements, I.E. the player/Wyll going to Avernus with Karlach, Halsin's additional post-Drow dialogue, etc). And of course, Larian has shown they also have no problem NOT adding things when it goes against their vision- they have repeatedly shut down requests for an expanded evil path, haven't added to Wyll's story despite very loud fan outcry, haven't made Halsin monogamous despite a very vocal group of fans calling for this on the Larian forums and Discord... etc. It clearly isn't number or loudness of the fans influencing 95% of these changes- it's Larian adding things that already fit in their vision.

I guess it is also baffling to me because I'm used to games that are either from series that have been dead for decades or are rushed out just as money grabs (Pokemon) with little attention given after besides minimal bug fixes and content for paid DLCs (cough, Pokemon). To see a game that reflects on their story (or just general experience, like their constantly giving Cazador buffs in tactician mode) and constantly changes what they think should be is, in my opinion, pretty admirable. I truly don't understand all the outrage- to me, it's a sign they care about their story and want it to be the best they can make it, even after people have already paid them for it.

I know i'm in the minority here, but the changes make me respect Larian a lot more than I already did.

[subzeroparade]

*chant* New fic! New fic! New fic!

So excited you’ve posted a new ER fic, and with a teaser for more to come! 🎉🎉🎉

Since it’s been awhile, maybe I poke your brain on what your thoughts on the DLC are (game play, lord, sceneries, anything you’d like to share with us really)? Has it changed your headcanon on any of the characters, or did you find ways to incorporate the new lores into your interpretations? Most importantly, did you have fun?

*tagged for spoilers but just in case - spoilers •‿•*

Did I enjoy it? YES. Did I have qualms with some gameplay bits? YES but I’m a filthy casual on NG+2 or something and generally Not Good at Game. But I beat it. 

As for lore, it’s really a mixed bag. There’s a ton of stuff I’m delighted to have new or expanded lore for - Marika’s origins, Belurat and the entirety of Hornsent culture, Godwyn’s Death Knights, BAYLE???? VILE BAYLE!!!! etc etc (sometimes I listen to Igon’s voice lines just to psych myself up for real life). There are things I need to adjust my headcanon for a little, as well - St Trina, for example, has always been a facet of Miquella himself to me, a sort of alter ego he willingly takes on, which is how I enjoyed writing her in fic. To have her elaborated here as a separate person means taking that a little further if I write him/her/them again, but I think the parallel it draws between Marika/Radagon is hugely interesting as well.  

iirc there are a couple of instances in the base game where lore almost contradicts itself, but I think in some cases the DLC got a little sloppy. The timeline is also way foggier to me now than it was previously. I was a big fan of the idea that Messmer was entirely unknown to his siblings, written out of history after the Crusade (predating Marika ushering in the Golden Age of the Erdtree), but that contradicts the lore we get on Gaius and Radahn as they’re both personally acquainted with Messmer, and makes me wonder which of the other demigods might’ve been aware of him, and under what pretences might they have met. It makes for a lot of fic ideation, but I’m of the opinion that if you’re writing fic, sticking too closely to (the sometimes unhelpful) lore will stultify the work; so I’m trying to pluck little instances of new lore that interest me to bolster the story I want to tell.  

Like most of the fandom I have a huge beef with Promised Consort Radahn, and I’m still struggling with how to work that into my headcanon. To me, there is simply no reason for it. There are no indications of it in the base game, and you have to tie yourself into continuity knots for it to make any sense - and that’s just bad writing. I’m not against retconning things if they serve a purpose, but this was neither useful nor necessary (nor well done), and that’s fundamentally disappointing for a Fromsoft game. The more people aggressively try and justify it, the more I feel like the potential explanations unravel. If we’re going along with the assumption that Miquella *needs* a lord to ascend, we’ve had Candidate #1 since the base game: Godwyn. Half of what we know about base-game Miquella is that he spent time and resources trying to grant Godwyn some form of peace, while his hideous fate hangs over the narrative in perpetuity. And we give Radahn closure literally in the first act of the game. I’m a firm believer in Miquella knowing 100% what he’s about, but in this singular instance blinded by love for Godwyn and an all-consuming desire to *fix this* by resurrecting some nightmarish, malformed version of him. There’s so much juicy story to be told in Miquella refusing to acknowledge the thing he brought back is not his brother, and for all that godhood and remaking the world into utter passivity can do, it can’t retrieve Godwyn’s irretrievable soul. All that to say, I’d even take Malenia as his promised consort - it would made more sense than Radahn, too.

Anyway tldr I don’t have to think about how disappointing that is now, because the fic I’m working on is around Marika’s ascension, and more specifically Messmer and Melina’s upbringing. There’s another on the backburner but I’m on the fence about it since it hasn’t reached an outline stage yet, and I don’t start anything unless I am 100% sure I know how to finish it, and finish it well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Ty for the ask! As is the case with me, the rest of my musings on the lore come through in fic writing, because those are the texts dumps I’m good at. Here’s a little (young) Melina and Messmer wip as thanks. 

[galedekarios]

idk if u posted anything about this before but im really curious what you think about an elf tav with gale.

specifically, what ive been rotation in my mind is what romanced gale says if you use speak with dead on him: that he'll be waiting for you.

but what about an elf tav who still has centuries left to live, who expresses their worry that long after gale's death, whenever that may be, they might find someone to love just as much as they love gale now? would he still wait for them? would it instead motivate him even more to ascend to godhood? would he search for a different method to become immortal/ extend his life span in his good ending so they could grow old together? or would he tell tav that they deserve to live life to the fullest and find love again? and if so would he actually mean it?

i can't really tell what would be more in character for him towards the end of the game so here i am asking you, dear gale expert :)))

thank you for your message, anon. <3

i haven't talked about it on my blog yet, no, but i have thought a lot about it since my main oc altonaufein is a drow, who could live to be several centuries old.

i think what's important to keep in mind with gale is that while he may be human - humans, who of course have a general life expectancy that's considerably less than a drow's might be - he is also a wizard and a powerful one at that. he was an archwizard.

not only are there several spells that extend life in the dnd universe (clone, for instance), but there also endings in which gale regains mystra's favour by returning the crown, either as her chosen, or as someone who carries her blessing.

that status too is something that would extend his lifespan to far longer than what a normal human's lifespan is.

i think we have a good example of that in the game itself with elminster, also a human, who the game tells us is 1300 years old at the time we meet him in the game.

so i'm happy to say that lifespan angst is something that doesn't necessarily need to be an issue with gale and a drow or elf protag, and i think it's likely something that gale would do.

(sort of related: in a conversation with elminster (act ii when he delivers mystra's instructions), there's a devnote saying that gale doesn't expect to grow quite as old as elminster, and the only reason for that is the dangerous life he leads right now. so i do think if the danger had passed, it might be a different topic.)

however, if you are asking me on the principle of the thing if gale would mean it if he said that it's alright for the protag to move on if there was an extreme lifespan disparity with no way to overcome it, my answer would always be yes.

gale never once holds it against the protag in any shape, way or form if they have turned him down respectfully and found a new love, even within the timespan of the events of the game. that is even further reiterated by the devnotes to these specific lines you get from him in this case, which are variations of "sincere/heartfelt/happy for you/etc."

the same wish is reflected in the variations of his epilogues in which he dies. gale's spectre, his letters, all tell the protag one thing: that he wants them to be happy.

also while gale is romantic, he's also pragmatic. if there truly was no way to overcome this, he wouldn't want the protag to grieve for him for centuries/never move on.

so yes. he would mean it.

but like i said, thankfully, the lifespan issue isn't really an issue in this case.

[significant-narratives]

is william nylander a leo rising or anything like that? I feel like he’s leo-adjacent

alas we do not have a birth time for willy (at least, not that i know of) so i can’t say for certain. i am however willing to walk with you on this path as a bit of a thought experiment! also this got really long, sorry i have chronic Can’t Shut The Fuck Up disease

now, a few disclaimers before we get started:

1) i generally don’t love trying to guess rising signs — this isn’t a judgement on anyone who does, i just find it particularly difficult to do lol. so take everything i say here with a grain of salt

2) i subscribe to the belief that a rising does influence/color the rest of an individual’s chart, so keep that in mind as we delve into this.

3) i am by no means an expert when it comes to astrology and don’t claim to be, and i do pull from various sources when needed to supplement my own knowledge. i am here to have a good time and that’s all! if you have any questions about the sources i use feel free to ask.

okay with that out of the way. willy as a leo rising is interesting! if we look at what such a placement would entail we can see a lot of ‘willy-like’ traits: there’s the courage, confidence and protectiveness associated with any leo placement. high charisma, extroversion, directness. as an ascendant the ‘fixed energy’ of leo tends to manifest in a need to achieve success and stability, and then maintain it. body awareness is another one — understanding how you look and move through space (usually linked to a strong sense of personal style).

(more of a side note, but in terms of physical characteristics, leo risings are often described as tall and broad shouldered, with expressive eyes and strong bone structure. i don’t place as much weight on this aspect of a rising sign, but it’s interesting!)

so, from all this, you could make a strong case for willy being a leo rising! however there’s one crucial thing that isn’t clicking for me: an individual’s rising sign tends to be linked with a public mask / a lens through which they see reality. and i don’t think the way willy presents himself to the public, or what glimpses we’ve seen of his worldview, is quite aligned with leo rising energy specifically.

his white knuckle grip on his ‘i am Chill and Calm and Going With The Flow’ attitude is a little out of line with how leo energy tends to manifest (imo). like one thing about a leo — what you see tends to be what you get and they’re not ashamed to show you that. they’re not (in my experience) all too concerned with persona-building or shielding themselves from being seen. they’re picky about who they give their time and energy to, sure, but like. that’s not quite the same thing. you feel me?

so if he did have a leo rising… i feel like in theory we wouldn’t see a lot of willy’s tendency to keep things very close to his chest and generally not Feel Things In Public. like, think about it. how much do we actually know about william nylander. and how much of what we know came from him. half of the off season content we get that features him comes from alex’s gf’s insta! he’s out here posting pictures of lizards and aesthetic topless photos. it took him eight years and finally securing his place in toronto for the foreseeable future for him to be willing to get even a Little vulnerable with the press and admit just how important toronto is too him, how strongly he’s put down roots here. again you could argue this protective quality is a point in favour of a leo rising placement… but he is also a taurus sun… also is this a good time to say i don’t feel like i’m picking up on that ‘leo rising energy’ trickling down into the rest of his chart? i feel like with a leo rising you’d see a very different manifestation of his gemini venus or libra moon, for example, but that’s just speculation on my part.

it’s also possible the general ‘leo adjacent’ energy you’ve mentioned picking up from him is that gemini venus / aries mars combo of his (i will hold my tongue and not say the word that i’m thinking in my head rn).

tl;dr my verdict on willy having a leo rising: it’s possible but not my favourite choice for him personally! to me i’ve always felt like he gave off water rising energy… (op are you saying this because you are a taurus sun scorpio rising you ask. to which i will say: no comment <3)

[brabblesblog]

Hi!!! This might be a super obvious answer to most but I saw your post about Astarion characterization (10/10 btw) and you said you use a mental construct of AA for writing/beta? I have not stopped thinking about this, it's fascinating to me- can you explain that more in depth? I feel like I might do a similar thing whenever I write but I'm not sure I understand it, so I would love if you could clarify/talk about how/why and all that (if you're comfy with it, of course!)

Hi! This is a very good (and relevant) question nowadays, and I realize I didn't expound clearly about this method in my characterization post.

So this method is likely to be uncommon. My beta does not do this, nor do any of the other great writers in the fandom I've encountered. More of them sort of get into the character's headspace.

EDIT: Apparently so does @pursuitseternal! OMG ILY now I know why we're both on the same brainwave LOLOL What I do have, is a sort of imaginary friend, if you will. An AA, lounging around in his throne inside my head. When I write, I will look to him and wait for the message I want to impart to be spoken from his mouth, in his voice. If it sounds weird, or off, then I know that I need to tweak the line, and do so, then let him reread. For spawn (when I beta, and when/if I ever write for spawn), what I do is dress him up in clothes that are distinctly spawn (so either origin armor, or epilogue out fit) and then let him do the same thing, asking him to consciously act like spawn.

The reason why Ascendant dialogue is easier for me to kind of figure out is because I have been writing Ascendant stuff for quite some time know so it's kind of stuck. But this also works for other than dialogue. I try to figure out whether he would do something. This helps with small character moments that flesh him out further; for example in a yet unpublished piece of work I actually have him reconsider sitting on a chair because it's dirty. To get that like idea I just imagine him in a dingy location, with chair in question. Would he sit? Would he sort of refuse, because no way are his expensive clothes getting fucked by whatever's on that chair? A lot of bringing a character to life, especially for fics that are heavily character driven are these tiny details, because they make them seem more real on page. I hope this answers your questions, and feel free to ask more.

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Round 5

[image ID: the first image is of Oopsy Bear, a green care bear. on his stomach is a drawing of a red heart, a smiling yellow star, and several colorful lines behind the star implying it's soaring through the "sky". the second image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. end ID]

Oopsy Bear

HE IS MY FAVORITE CARE BEAR AND NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS ONLY IN ONE ITERATION OF THE FRANCHISE AND THEN THEY NEVER SHOWED HIM AGAIN. I love him so much it’s unreal he’s just a sweet little guy he’s clumsy and doesn’t have any belly badge powers like the other bears… His tummy is blank and he DRAWS ON IT he will give himself different silly belly badges. He’s also besties with a robot that used to be working for the villain. Please. Please. Please. Please 

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

[raptorific]

Okay but I was just saying today how bad I want a spinoff about how Tigress Snow become who she became. Which is why I'm offering an open question to you: I'd love to hear any theories you have on the trajectory of her life that lead her where it did.

I can always count on you for good stuff like this--

So, the fun thing about Tigris is that when I first read Songbirds, they mention she's Snow's cousin on the very first page, and I literally had to put the book down and go paw through my copy of Mockingjay to see if they'd ever actually referenced that before. It didn't feel like a reveal, because it just made so much sense that she'd be his cousin that I assumed I must've already known it.

So, the thing that's clear to me after Songbirds is that Tigris and Coriolanus have very different priorities with regards to the games. Tigris thinks they're monstrous and over-the-line, and feels for the tributes, Coriolanus thinks they're necessary and that the tributes (and in fact all human beings) are inherently brutal and need dramatic examples like the games to keep them in line

I think this is reflected in their diverging, parallel paths in their participation in the games. Tigris is a stylist, a role which allows her to work directly with the Tributes, maybe even give them more of a fighting chance to survive, while Snow worked as a mentor and gamemaker, and orchestrated ways to make the brutality of the games even more effective

You also see, towards the end of the book and movie, that Tigris has begun to feel fear and disgust towards her cousin, but she is still effectively dependent on him financially, and doesn't want to alienate him entirely. This was a reversal of their positions at the beginning of the book, when Coriolanus was entirely dependent on Tigris' pawn shop savvy, arts and crafts skills, and implied sex work to keep afloat, and she put almost every resource she had towards making sure he could succeed so their family could regain its old prestige

So at the end of the book, Snow is back on top, they've got the fortune back, the people standing in the way of his return to high society are eliminated, and he's been taken under the wing of one of the most powerful people in the Capitol. Of course he used his connections to get Tigris a job, in his mind that's only fair, he did for her what she'd always done for him.

The crucial thing, for me, is that eventually, Coriolanus screwed her over the same way he screwed over Sejanus and Lucy Gray and everyone else who ever got close to him who became an obstacle or liability to his ascendancy. When her furry-ism got to be embarrassing to the family name, she was canned from that job and shoved out of the way somewhere she couldn't get in the way of his political prospects

The thing is, based on Songbirds, I don't think Tigris was necessarily surprised by this. I think she took the job while it was an option for her, because she'd seen her cousin's true colors through the Tenth Games and his time in District 12, and knew eventually she'd be cast aside as well. She was dependent on him, and that wouldn't last forever, and so she needed to take advantage of it while she could.

I think her body modifications were probably similar in motivation to the rest of the Capitol's insane cosmetic procedures, but I also think they come from a place of desperately wanting control over her own life. She spent her whole adolescence serving the needs of her cousin, and then she ended up entirely dependent on her cousin and unable to do anything that would embarrass his standing in high society. I think transforming herself into a human cat was an attempt at feeling like she was, in some small way, in control of herself.

I hope there was a solid answer somewhere in all that rambling! I find Tigris to be such a fascinating character

[ugh-yoongi]

Which personality of each member do you think fits their sign and which doesn’t?

oh, fun!! while i can crack a joke every now and then, @hot-soop is the true astrology queen, so i hope you don't mind that i tag teamed this with her.

i think the prevailing thought is that sun signs are kind of... not useless on their own, but definitely don't tell the whole story. i definitely do not feel like i fit my sun sign and relate much more to some of my other placements.

(also hard to say because we don't have a confirmed birth time for anyone other than jungkook and, speaking for myself, i feel my rising says a lot more about me than my sun sign.)

anyway!! let's speculate bc nothing matters!!

members i feel fit their sun sign:

seokjin

yoongi

hobi

jk

other placements i feel they might fit more:

namjoon — (suspected) scorpio rising. i joked about it in awfos but i really do think it fits namjoon perfectly: people with scorpio on the ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life. for some, this power can also come from within, in the form of jealousy, envy or lust for power. the dark and hidden things in the soul must come out. it can be reflected in artwork, for example (cr). we know namjoon is sort of this tortured poet type of creative; the type to destroy himself in order to create.

seokjin — cancer mars. sometimes, mars in cancer likes to heighten molehills just to psyche themselves out. they like to make small issues larger because it feels safer to fight in the small than the large. they can be incredibly forthright on the smallest of things but shy away from bringing up larger life decisions (cr). we see this with jin a lot—the exaggerating and larger than life personality to hide how sensitive he is.

yoongi — yoongi's chart is interesting because it's half "i don't give a fuck what you think about me" energy and half calm, gentle placements. i think he embodies his entire chart, tbh. we know young yoongi was really angry. we know he's grown a lot. we know he's not the super grumpy, cold personality people like to pigeonhole him as.

hobi — he has three placements in pisces (mercury, venus, saturn) so it doesn't really matter which placement i pick bc i think he embodies all of them. there are a ton of writers with pisces in mercury, and while yes, hobi is obviously a writer, i think it speaks to communicating in other ways, too. for hobi, it might be through writing, through dance, or through ideas/pictures. look at any of his solo mvs, especially from hope world. they are so much more vibrant than the rest. i urge you to read all of this in regards to pisces venus and find a line that doesn't fit him (except maybe the one about eating in bed, lol).

jimin — definitely fits the stereotypical characteristics of his sun sign. he's charming, social, peace-seeking. but, if the rumors are to believed, he's also a cancer rising, and as a fellow libra sun-cancer rising, this is just... peak him. i've seen this placement described as the "i'm baby" ascendant and it's so true. they're nurturing, sensitive, and gentle. all of bts loves one another, but i don't think anyone loves bts more than jimin. he's the one who will show up for and take care of you without you needing to ask.

taehyung — aries moon. jin has an aries moon, too, but i think it's more evident with tae. most everyone describes this placement as "cannot be tamed," and i think that's especially true with him. i've talked about it before, but while other members may not fit the idol image perfectly, taehyung seems to be the only one who actively rebels against it. there aren't many other idols posting threatening messages on weverse, lol. we know namjoon has said he knew taehyung wouldn't listen to him, but as someone who also has an aries moon, there is this innate flashbang of anger whenever anyone tries to exert control over us.

jungkook — virgo mercury. the "if there is a problem, then i will find a solution" placement. there is nothing he cannot do or figure out. if he decides he's going to do something, he'll become the best at it, and that's all there is to it, but a lot of this is done internally. all those "jungkook spacing out for 5 hours" compilations? he's doing virgo things in there.

[poketdmpro]

The Spy and the Liar is a Shuake song. Yes, I know I've said it before, but I'm going a lot more in depth here. I've listened to it over and over, and have noticed just how much of the song can relate to Joker and Akechi. I will be explaining my thoughts processes here today.

"From the spotlight

I can see you"

This line works so well, As both the start of the song and their relationship. It's their first meeting, With Joker in the crowd and Akechi up on the stage, and yet Joker still catches his eye.

"Play your cards right

Kill your stage fright

This could be you"

This one might be a bit of a stretch, but this line symbolizes what Joker could have become. He didn't have to help people. He didn't have to become a phantom thief. He had the same powers as Akechi, he could've done the same thing. If he had played his cards right, he could've been up on that stage alongside him.

"If the whole worlds a stage

Let’s set it on fire"

This line I don't really have much for, but I'd love to hear what anyone else has!

"So you be the spy

And I’ll be the liar"

While there is a lot here, I feel it fits a lot better with another line, so I'll save that explanation for then

"From the background

You can hear me"

This is another line I don't have much for.

"Highest billing

Makes a killing

They revere me"

This line helps to represent just what Akechi is doing with with his gift. He's using it for fame, popularity. Something he has over Joker. People know his name, Know who he is. He isn't just some nobody like Joker.

"That beautiful mask you wear

Is all I desire

So you be the spy

And I’ll be the liar"

Here we are. The chorus. Let's start with the first two lines. It helps to represent just what Akechi wants to do. He wants to tear Jokers mask away. He's supposed to be this great detective prince, So why can't he figure out some kid with fake glasses? It infuriates him, He just wants to figure it out. To tear away the mask and see who Joker really is. But in the end, he just can't. Like a spy, Joker seems to always be one step ahead of him. No matter how much Akechi lies, how many masks he wears, Joker seems to see right through him.

"Face to face to face again

And through the camera lens we ascend"

Another line I don't have much for.

"You’re a minor part

I’m the major star

Ha!

The credits arе more than just the end"

This one is a bit obvious. It's a bit more on how Joker is basically nothing compared to him. Jokers but a mere stepping stone in Akechis path, at least in his eyes. As well as he's telling Joker to not call things too early. Like Okumura for example. They thought they were done, the credits rolled... But Akechi got the last laugh.

"‘Causе the truth is

I despise you

I will tear apart

All these works of art

That disguise you"

Here it is. The big reveal. He hates Joker. He wants to tear off their mask. To see who they really are. To destroy the person who has been ahead of them time and time again.

"I’m makin’ the final cut

It’s down to the wire"

Another line I don't have much for. This is the last of those though.

"So you’ll be the spy

And I’ll be the liar

And I’ll be the liar

And I’ll be the liar

And I'll be the liar!"

The final line. The chorus one final time. And the repetition. We've already been over Joker being the spy. But Akechi. He's confessed everything. His hatred. His rage. How he truly feels. And yet, He's still lying. All he really wants is one final game of chess.

There it is! That's everything! This is the first time I've done anything like this, so if it's bad, that's completely understandable! I hope at least one person ends up enjoying my take on this though!

[yoonkinii]

We Were Human

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Part 3:

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent ascended Astarion from losing himself the only problem? You don’t have a lot of time.

-

Warnings: Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended astarion, prepare for the worse.

Note(s): For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware.

Thank You.

-

“Soldier, are you sure about this? I can always come with you.”

Karlachs pouty face watched me as I looked over at all the supplies we packed for the hundredth time. I mentally went down the list of essentials we would need for this trip. Dammon grins over at Karlach and I, popping his head out from the canvas covered wagon.

“Karlach, you and I both know she can handle herself. Plus, she’ll have an Ascended Vampire with her.” Dammon waggled his brows at Karlach. I rolled my eyes playfully, handing Dammon the final essential we would need- our tent. 

Our plan was simple, we would set up camp at a safe distance away from the goblin camps. Once that was done we would scout the camps and try to locate the generals that run the place. Once they are out, everything will fall apart. Or so as Minthara stated. 

“Karlach, sweetie, my dear, the light of my life-” The more cheesy names that flew out of my mouth, the wider her grin stretched, thinning out the worried lines on her forehead. “I’ll be fine.” I said sincerely, taking her hands into and I prayed that my eyes conveyed what I said. She would never let me leave if she found out that I was beyond scared. I only had one chance to save Astarion from his own death but I had no idea how to stop it. I only knew something occurred while he was out and nothing more. I had no idea what to look for or how to even stop it. 

Karlach sighed, shoulders slumping slightly, “You’re right.” She said with a small nod of her head. She released my hands, taking a step back to look at me like this was our final farewell. Only the subtle flicker of her eyes looking behind me gave me any warning. A cool cheek was pressed against my own, tufts of hair tickling the skin. Arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against a chest. 

“Is there a reason why you are making heart eyes at Karlach, my dear?”

The low rumble of his voice sent shivers down my spine. I pretended to be in thought, drawing out a hum as my pointer finger tapped against my chin, “Probably cause she has my heart.”

Astarions grip tightened around my waist, almost trying to keep me from going to Karlach. Karlach laughed, her hands resting on her hips and head tilted to the sky. After calming down from her fit of giggles, she shook her head, “You’re asking for trouble, soldier. Fancy pants looks like he is going to skin me alive right now.”

I feign confusion, placing my hand over my heart in dramatics, “You do not believe me? I am devoted to you, my beautiful lady-” I suddenly yelped as a white hot pain pinched against the left side of my neck. My mouth fell open as the pain turned into something else- something sensual. I wanted to curse Astarion out for doing this to me; for making heat pool low in my stomach. The nails of my fingers dug into the skin of his forearm, his arms still wrapped around my waist and keeping me from moving away. I don’t know how I didn’t feel the absence of his cheek against mine as he angled it to get near my neck. I wanted to curse him out but not only did I deserve it- I could not formulate the words I wanted to speak. Just when I thought it was going to become unbearable, his lips released from my neck. I shuddered as his tongue trailed against my skin, running over the two wounds- not only closing the wound with his saliva that could do just that but also lick up the droplets of blood that ran across my skin. I knew my face was flush beyond belief even if my skin was always pale, my ears burned and my cheeks felt like they were the color of apples. 

Astarion pressed a kiss on the wounds, unwrapping his arms around my waist and pulling away. 

“Know who you belong to, Pet.” was all he said as he left me to feel like my body was overheating with Karlach who was grinning at me like a fool. Swiveling on my heel, I watched as Astarion headed to the front of the wagon, checking on the mules that would be dragging the wagon. 

A hand slapped in between my shoulder blades suddenly causing me to jolt forward a step before I regained my balance. I looked over my shoulder to glare at Karlach, nose wrinkling in distaste. 

“Oh don’t look at me like that, not when your face is as red as mine and that's saying a lot since you’re usually pale as a ghost.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes as I walked away to busy myself with anything. The echoing sound of Karlacks laugh followed me as I walked away. 

-

The setting sun was beautiful but blinding. It’s warm and bright hues creating a view I have forgotten about. It was simple things like that that I forgot about- the sun's rays bouncing off water, bleeding through the openings of tree leaves, colors painting the sky. It all seemed so new to me even though the sun had always been around. 

“I think this is a good place to set up camp.” The voice of Astarion tore my eyes away from the sky. We had been riding for a good few hours, out pace slow but necessary so we didn’t tire out the mules. I had been sitting beside Astarion the whole time on the seats of the wagon, our thighs pressed close together. We spoke to each other the whole way, only stopping every now and then to relieve ourselves before continuing on. We talked about anything and everything, even about the things we knew about each other. It was almost surreal hearing him speak so freely to me, to not look at me with disdain or as if I was an object. Seeing him be and treat me so normally was almost scary to see only because the lingering thought of how I could lose him lurked in the back of my mind. 

Astarion looked up from the map he was holding that marked where we should stop and set up camp- a gift from Wyll that he handed us right before we left the city gates. Astarions brows knitted together, a question forming on his lips just as I snapped back to reality and pushed myself up from sitting on the wagon. 

“Thank the gods!” I sighed with relief, stretching my arms over my head. Astarions lip quirked up into a smile, standing from his seat and stepping off the wagon. He didn’t wait for me as he took out the supplies we needed to set up camp. I only watched him for a moment before setting out to help him by unhooking the mules from their wagon harness and leading them to graze the area. I wasn’t worried about losing them, they were trained to not stray too far. I mentally thanked Halsin for speaking with the mules to ensure they wouldn’t run away from us as we did this mission. 

Only after making sure the mules weren’t hurt or anything, I rounded the wagon to find that Astarion had finished pulling out what we needed and was already setting up the tent. I rushed over to help him, 

“You could have waited for me. You didn’t need to do this yourself.” I softly complained, my hands making quick work of setting up the tent; trained from the various times I had to set up my own tent before helping others. 

“I know I didn’t have too but the sooner it gets done, the better I can lay down to rest.” Astarion replied with a yawn. I raised a brow at the action. Astarion being a high elf didn’t mean he had to sleep and in my ‘previous’ life he rarely ever slept, not that I saw him long enough. 

“You don’t sleep though?” I questioned, lips pursed together. Astarion looked up from where he was squatting, securing the tent to the ground, 

“My dear, do you not remember the habit I had started before I ascended?”

My brows knitted together in thought, searching Astarions gaze for an answer he would not give. He tilted his head, giving me a knowing look. It suddenly clicked. My mouth fell into the shape of an ‘O’ as I remembered a small but sweet fact about Astarion. It started before he ascended and turned me into his consort. When we weren’t sure about our future together and clung to every moment we had together. Since I was human, I needed to sleep which killed Astarion since he had no need to sleep and felt like the hours that I slept was precious time wasted. I once mentioned to him that he could always try to sleep with me even though there were no benefits with doing so. After multiple times of sleeping beside me, it became a habit his body got used too. Even though it didn’t benefit him, his body was so used to it that he would even feel tired when in reality, it was just his body wanting him to stop moving for a while. 

“I take it you remembered?”

I nodded sheepishly, avoiding eye contact as I finished setting up the tent. It was just in time as the sky had gotten a lot darker since we started. The enclave we were in was surrounded by trees and various bushes, almost creating a barrier between us and the outside wildlife. Which was ridiculous to think because we were in the wild but the flat land padded with grass contrasted greatly against the heavily wooded surrounding areas. 

“How about you go wash up? I hear a river nearby.”

Glancing at Astarion, I nodded. He had peeled open the tent flap and was setting up our bedding for the night. I raced off to the stream after pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, which resulted in him grabbing me in order to kiss me directly on the lips before releasing me to go wash up. 

I had promised him that I would hurry and wash up since he hated the feeling of being dirty. I tried my best to hurry, using the moonlight to guide me to the stream and to wash up quickly. I was sure that I didn’t take too long but as I returned to our camp, the tent flaps were closed and only the soft glow of a lantern shined through the tent fabric. 

Gingerly pulling back the flap of the entrance, Astarions name dying in my throat as I saw him already laying on the ground, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. I blinked in surprise- he really was tired. I quietly laid beside him after putting my soiled clothes in a burlap sack, pressing my chest against his as I nestled close. His body seemingly reacted on its own as his arm came to rest across my waist, my leg hooking across his own. I laid there for a while, listening to his breathing and the sounds of nature until keeping my eyes open and straining my hearing to detect anything amiss became too much and the familiar embrace of sleep overtook me. 

-

Pain bloomed in streaks across my back, the crack of the whip blending in with my pleas. I didn’t need to look in order to know that the back of my dress was in scraps, hanging loosely off my shoulders. I heaved a shaky breath, tears falling off my face and to the floor. Another broken sobbed racked through my lungs as I was struck again, and again, again, again, and again. My own blood pooled on the floor, soaking my garments. 

The assault stopped and I tensed, afraid of the silence. Silence was worse than the air of pain, I had no idea what to expect with silence. 

Hands harshly grabbed my cheeks, jerking my head up so I wasn’t looking at the dirty floor stained with my bile, tears, and blood. Instead, I looked at him- there was no remorse on his face, only pure annoyance with me as if hurting me beyond belief was troubling him. 

He tutted his lips as he frowned at me, “Oh pet,” He said in such a soft tone would’ve caused anyone to believe he actually loved me. “Your face is ruined.” He complained, his grip on my cheeks tightening, digging into the bruises and cuts that littered my skin. I knew I looked horrible; he always made sure I knew. I wasn’t allowed the ignorance of my appearance from the lack of my reflection, he always told me how I looked to him. 

“No matter,” He continued, letting go of my face but not without pushing it away like I was the one forcing him to hold my face. “It is not your face that matters to me but beauty would’ve been a bonus.” 

I stood in silence, pretending that his words weren’t as painful knives. Pretending that his words didn’t leave invisible scars on my skin. He used to tell me I was the most brilliant thing he ever set his eyes on. He used to kiss the skin of my body when it felt clouded by others' judgment. 

“Lucinda,” He called. Lucinda appeared immediately, most likely standing in the hall and listening to my cries of pain. 

“Yes, my Lord?” Her voice was filled with confidence she didn’t have before. 

“Assist my dear concort with stripping her bare.” His voice litled as my title left his lips, mocking me even further. . 

“Of course.” 

I couldn’t fight her off even if I had the chance to do so. My body pulsed with pain, vibrating through my whole body. I didn’t know where the pain began and my body ended. I was almost lifeless as hands guided me to strip, obeying while fear coursed through my veins, mixing with the pain. 

My skin pimpled as it became exposed to the cold air of the punishment room. I stood bare before him, my scar covered body decorated with blood open to him. I couldn’t read his face as he store at my body, his eyes racking up and down my flesh, bile rising in my throat as he met my gaze and recognized the look he had in his eyes. 

“On your knees.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please no. 

I must’ve lost my mind as I chanted that single phrase over again. There wasn’t any other explanation as my head shook in disagreement as these thoughts raced through my mind. I didn’t have a chance to bed for forgiveness before pain shot through my face so hard that I collapsed to the floor. Perhaps there was a time when a slap across the face was nothing but with my mind and body weak, I crumbled. 

“No?” He questioned, my head snapping up to his direction, eyes blown wide in fear. “How dare you? You are ungrateful. I provide everything for you. Everything!” He yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls. “You are my consort. You live to serve me, to please me. Your very existence is to ensure I am satisfied. You kiss the ground I walk on. You gulp down the air I breathe out. You sit there and look pretty for my gaze. You are nothing more than that.”

My mouth opened to say something, anything to calm him down but it never came- not when a metal tipped shoe collided with my stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs. I curled around myself, arms covering my head as I was kicked harshly repeatedly. His voice seemed blurred and muffled in my ears, my own eyes releasing tears that become more common to me than anything else. I couldn’t do anything other than squeeze my eyes shut and not cry too loud. He would become angrier if I did.

Please. Someone help me. Please. Please. Please. Please. Ple-

My body snapped up straight, choking on air I couldn’t get enough of. Sweat coated my skin, my hair sticking to my neck as I took in heaving breaths. Darkness greeted me, the buzzing of insects and chirps of crickets pulling me back to reality. 

A dream. It was just a dream. Well more a memory than a dream. I felt sick to my stomach as the memory flooded my head without permission. Things happening like that were a norm for me but to wake up in the past and dream about my old life was mind numbing. 

I inhaled deeply, letting the night air cool my nerves. The pounding of my heart subsided after a few breaths and I laid to close my eyes and try to grasp onto much needed rest. Laying on my back, I was greeted with the sounds of mumbling. Sitting up again, I reached over to turn the lantern on again, the light immediately brightening the tent. 

My heart seized in my chest as I looked at Astarion. His entire being was shaking as though he was unbearably cold. He was laying on his back, hands clutching at his own skin, nails digging as if he was trying to tear it off. His face was scrunched in pain, brows pinched and lips curled into a snarl, his fangs peaking out. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, his voice too low. I flinched as he suddenly bit down on his bottom lip, fangs puncturing the skin and blood immediately budding. 

“Astarion.” I said, shaking his form slightly in hopes of waking him. I repeated his name, shaking him harder when my first attempt failed. My brows furrowed as he still laid asleep. 

“Astarion!” I yelled, desperation digging its hands into me. Both of my hands shook his form harshly. “Astarion ple-” 

It happened suddenly. His eyes snapped open and one moment I was shaking him awake, the next I was pinned under him. My chest heaved as my gaze met with Astarions- no his eyes. The ruby red was darker, clouded by something I could never understand. His lips pulled back into a snarl, a low rumble sounding from his chest. 

“Astarion-” I began, rallying up the courage I didn’t truly feel, “Please, stop.” I begged but my pleas fell on deaf ears. My whole body tensed and shook as he leaned in closer. He had me pinned to the ground by the shoulders, his nails dug into them as he leaned in. 

I winced at the pain, “Astarion! You’re hurting me!”

It was as if those words were magic themselves. He blinked and his gaze was no longer clouded, the anger falling away from his face. He stood frozen, wide eyes darting all over as he took me in and what was going on. 

“Oh Gods,” His voice cracked at the same time mine did. “Oh Gods,” he repeated, quickly getting off of me like touching my burned him. He sat beside me, breathing deeply. His hands fisted tightly into his hair, tugging harshly at the white strands. His chest raised and fell way too fast to be considered normal, the sound of wheezing escaping his lips. 

“Astarion-” I called out, reaching for him. He flinched away from my hand freezing in the air, a mere couple of inches away from him. “Astarion.” my voice was soft against the tense air, “Look at me please.”

He didn’t answer, his chest heaving- weighed down by panic he didn’t know how to get rid of. His gaze flickered over to me, his mouth slightly parted as puffs of laced filled panic left his lips. Since he turned, my hands were now grazing over her skin. Seeing that he didn’t flinch I gently cupped his cheek in my palm. I was slow, patient to see if there was any hesitation in his eyes. When he didn’t pull away, his eyes holding my own, blown wide in fear, I cupped both of his cheeks. His breath grazed my wrists, alerting me just how fast he was breathing. 

“It’s okay.” I mumbled, guiding him closer and closer until I laid back, his face pressed against my chest. “Breath with me.” I instructed, running my hands through his hair soothingly as I inhaled and exhaled deeply. He followed, his chest stuttering a little in the beginning before smoothing out. His arms came to wrap around, pulling himself impossibly closer as he calmed down. The air was silent but my thoughts raced. 

Just how long has this been happening to him? Why hasn’t he told me about them? How have I never noticed this before? Is this the first step to Astarion becoming  him? 

Panic seized my heart as a thought entered my head, 

Am I already too late?

[thereader-radhika]

Uttama Cholan Maduranthaka Thevar - Possibilities

When Maduranthaka Thevar makes an appearance in Book 3, he is introduced as

At the beginning of this story, we met Maduranthaka Thevar, one of the important characters, in Kadambur fort. On a later occasion, we met him as he was going through the subterranean passage of the dungeon into the Pazhuvettarayar palace at midnight. Both times, the famous Prince, who was to occupy the Chozha throne one day as Parakesari Uthama Chozhar, was not properly introduced to our readers. We now wish to make amends for this.

It is evident that it is about "fake Maduranthakan" himself, not Senthan Amudan. Senthan is nowhere in the chapter. Also the author goes on to explain Maduranthakan's ambitions,

But ever since he married the daughter of Chinna Pazhuvettarayar, two years before this story begins, he began to have a change of mind. A small spark of desire, fanned in its first stages by the Pazhuvoor Ilaya Rani, soon grew into a raging forest fire.

Why was this changed? In my opinion, Kalki realised that Arulmozhi's "sacrifice" won't have the desired impact if he lets Maduranthakan continue as a grey character with a positive character arc. In historical records, Rajaraja Cholan comes across as an insufferable boaster (how do so many people know about the shankhu and chakram inside his palm, lol) which is tolerated only because he was successful.

"Arunmolivarman who understood the essence of royal conduct, desired not the kingdom for himself even in (his) mind, while his paternal uncle coveted his (i.e., Arunmolivarmanan's) dominions" (Thiruvalangadu copper plates)

It was Arinjayan's line that usurped the rightful position of Kandarathithan's son. Maduranthakan might have been young, but that wasn't a valid reason. Arinjayan and Sundara Cholan could have served as the regents of the boy king.

I think Kalki got feedback from discerning readers and relatives asking why can't Maduranthakan ascend the throne. Many people didn't find Rajaraja Cholan's actions a "Thiyaga Sigaram" (Pinnacle of Sacrifice) because Maduranthakan was more eligible than him. Even after making Arulmozhi Varman too nice and magnanimous, Kalki struggles a bit to explain why people like him.

"Some do great things in this world and steal the hearts of people. Some sing, dance, compose poetry, paint, make sculptures and earn the praise of people. But some others are simply born great. Without any specific reason they earn the love and praise of all the people they come in contact with. That exactly is charisma which is a gift Nature has conferred on them. The finest example of a person in this class is Ponniyin Selvan."

Kalki didn't want to say bad things about Emperor Uttama Cholan either. So there is a seperate nice Emperor Uttama Cholan/Sendhan Amudan and Arulmozhi Varman's renunciation is a real sacrifice because he elevates an impoverished commoner to the position of the Emperor.

Two historical events need to happen

• Aditha Karikalan's death • Uttama Cholan's coronation

If this ambitious Maduranthakan was originally supposed to become the Emperor, how would have Kalki shaped his character?

Some possibilities

• Maduranthakan just looks beautiful. He isn't Nandini's twin or Mandakini's son. • Maduranthakan and Nandini are Kandharadithar's illegitimate children. • They are Sundara Cholan's children and Karikalan commits suicide for the sin of having incestuous desires about his sister. • Maduranthakan realises the truth and removes himself from the line of succession. Arulmozhi crowns him anyway.

What do you think? Let us discuss all crazy possibilities. Please tag your friends too.

@willkatfanfromasia @celestesinsight @vibishalakshman @nspwriteups @thelekhikawrites @whippersnappersbookworm @aakhyaayikaa @harinishivaa