#for $1000?? by the end of it i was willing to pay $1000 to make the situation disappear

[confinesofmy]

oh my god. 🫨 just got vivid flashbacks to when i was like 17 and one of my mom's friends pressured me into accepting a job opportunity to transcribe one of her friend's 500 page sprawling autobiographical manuscript from handwriting to typeset for $1,000. and my mom encouraged it. meanwhile i was a severely mentally ill dropout who literally could not read cursive handwriting. no history of transcription. what in god's name were they thinking.

[pshcomforts]

➳ afterglow | psh. — requested

non!idolsunghoon x olderfem!reader (feat. mark from nct)

“tell me this love is worth the fight”

synopsis: you forgot a special celebration with sunghoon, leading you guys to argue.

warnings/content: written in third pov. angst to fluff! slightly suggestive at the end (but nothing happens). age gap! (sunghoon’s 21, and reader’s 23). cursing! not proofread. sunghoon doubts himself :(

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.5k

a/n: message request.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: afterglow by taylor swift

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:28 ───────|──────────── -2:14

tick. tick. tick.

the clock ran faster within each minute y/n glanced back at it.

a sigh left her throat as she focused back onto her computer — typing in data to keep the files updated.

the girl worked an office job in her early twenties. it wasn’t as ideal, but for a paid internship, she had to take it.

months had passed since she started the job, and whispers of a promising position had been hinted each day she walked in.

and since then, y/n’s attempted to keep her score of being a trusting employee on a streak by staying past office hours.

she was a workaholic, if you will.

but who could blame her? the pay was good, and the work was her field of interest.

however, today was not one of those days she was willing to stay late for.

it couldn’t.

today marked her 1000 day anniversary with her boyfriend, park sunghoon.

her lovely, patient boyfriend who was younger than her by two years. the boy was in his early twenties, barely getting the hang of life with college.

a few significant dates had already been missed with the internship in the way, so she couldn’t possibly miss this one.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a quick buzz formed in y/n’s pockets, allowing her to take a swift glance at her phone.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 1000 day celebration with hoonie ੈ♡˳ ࿐ྂ

she groaned out a sigh as she felt a sudden pressure weigh in at her heart.

“just a little longer,” her voice mumbled before staring down at the time.

[ 4:37pm ] — it beamed.

just a few hours left and she’d soon be in sunghoon’s forgiving arms.

“hey y/n,” a deep voice called out to her, snapping the girl out of her guilt-eating thoughts.

she turned to her superior, mark, who was wearing a friendly smile.

“yeah?” she tried to sound cheerful.

“i know you get off soon, but with your hard work noticed, i was wondering if you could help out with a little more paper work?” he uttered with puppy eyes. “it’s just.. the way you file and organize suits how i usually go in on it. would it be okay?”

y/n froze in her tracks, conflicted with her options — leave work as planned for the important date with sunghoon, or further impress the manager for a permanent job.

“it wouldn’t take long, would it?” she chewed her cheek, lips almost bleeding with how much she awaited for an answer.

mark gave a light chuckle. “no, i wouldn’t make you stay too late, y/n. you always do that to yourself.”

the girl awkwardly laughed in return, murmuring empty words of how much effort she was willing to put in for the company before he left her with the paperwork.

her original plan of leaving early from such an exhausting shift had taken a pause as she huffed at the amount of files in front of her.

“shouldn’t take too long..,” she tried to reassure under her breath.

in seconds, y/n dove into the piles of paperwork — attempting to finish on time.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[ 6:48pm ]

time was slipping through her fingers and the girl wasn’t even noticing it.

minutes passed within each time she glanced back at the clock, irking her to go quicker.

she had to finish on time, she just had to, at least before 9:30pm.

[ 8:21pm ]

coworkers around were now finishing their shift, leaving their cubicles to clock out for the night — leaving y/n with a few others.

“come on, i’m almost there.” she whispered to herself, sweat nearly dripping down her face with how much work she was powering through.

“good night, y/n!” — a few workers would beam to her, causing her to give a quick wave before going back to her job.

[ 9:18pm ]

the whole building was nearly abandoned now. the only remaining employees were mark, y/n, and about two more workaholics.

she was almost done. almost.

with such little time left, panic began to exude in the girl’s body.

“12 more minutes.. please,” she sighed.

a quick glance to the time was made before she decided to shut down every time displayed in front of her.

it was risky, but looking at the clock would only emit more anxiety to finish.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon enough, the filing job had run its course, and y/n was done.

“finally!” she beamed, stretching out every bone in her body.

her tired eyes glanced everywhere for the time before she realized her method of avoidance from earlier.

“did i make it..?” she questioned, but with every nervous breath she took, it was obvious she had no hope she did.

slowly, the girl lifted her phone to check the time.

[ 10:03pm ]

her fatigued body froze at the bright screen before feeling it defrost with a shiver to the spine.

she felt her breath get heavy as she searched for a message from sunghoon — just anything that may ease the guilty pressure on her heart.

but nothing.

no messages, no calls — nothing.

y/n bit her teeth together, clenching her jaw in regret.

sunghoon had been looking forward to their 1000 day celebration, and she failed him.

a shaky sigh left her throat as her hands fisted in shame.

“hey y/n,” a voice spoke from behind, causing her body to tense.

“oh, hey mark.” she murmured back, mind still flooded with sunghoon.

“you’re still here? i got your files, you’re good to go,” he responded. “by the way, i really appreciate your work here. i hope the ceo considers you here long term.”

y/n sighed in relief as a reply, body taking its final hit of exhaustion from sitting all day.

“you’re a great worker,” mark continued with a polite smile.

a few rewarding compliments remained to run through his mouth, allowing her to get a slight ego boost.

she beamed a smile towards him, truthfully forgetting about how much she had failed sunghoon.

“i hope to see more of this from you soon, y/n. we’re the last here so i gotta lock up.” her superior uttered to her.

the girl nodded her head before gathering her things and leaving for the boy to do as he said.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the drive home from work was quiet.

y/n was worn out from the constant piles of paper work and to be quite frank, all she wanted was some peace and quiet.

the only thing that ran through her mind was how much mark had sweet talked to her about her work skills.

it was promising to hear all of that, and she couldn’t wait to tell it to her boyfriend — her boyfriend who waited hours for her.

but her energy was still wearing thin. every muscle movement she made in the car caused an aching bruise to form.

so when she arrived home, her hands slowly creaked the door open.

a sigh left her throat as she entered in.

everything was quiet and sunghoon couldn’t be found until she glanced to her left. the boy was sitting on the couch in silence, eyes lost in a daze and face blank with no expression presented.

then it hit her.

her blameworthy actions came back to guilt her once she found her person stiffly sitting down.

y/n took a gulp. she was the older one, but she knew how he was during arguments like these. she knew he was one to stay silent just to keep his emotions together.

“hoonie..?” the girl nervously mumbled, almost a whisper to his ears.

sunghoon only stood with a click to the tongue, jaw firmly clenching as he walked to the kitchen.

the atmosphere was quickly filled with tension in how much he ignored her.

“hoon?” she called out once more, only to get a slight glance back as a response.

the boy continued to gulp down some type of beverage, actively letting her presence go unnoticed.

y/n groaned in return, watching his petty efforts become the consequences of her own actions.

but truth be told, she was tired.

she was working all day, back to back with no break whatsoever and all she wanted was to get some sleep.

“sunghoon,” she sighed. “please, i’m sorry. i’m exhausted and work just kept pulling me back. my superior wanted me to file more before my shift ended and i-“

“work this and work that, that’s all we’re gonna talk about isn’t it?” hoon angrily spat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. the boy ignored the mention of mark with how pissed he was.

✩ ‘fighting with a true love’ ✩

all y/n could do was pause at his outburst.

“i’m sorry, sunghoon, i’m tired and-“

“and i was waiting for you all day to come home for our celebration.” he cut off once more, teeth biting down to mush away the heart aches.

✩ ‘is boxing with no gloves’ ✩

sunghoon finally turned after softly slamming the drink down onto the counter. his darkened eyes met hers, burning holes before quickly tearing up.

“i know..,” she bit her lips, shutting her eyes to avoid her heart breaking at his gaze. “i’m so sorry, sunghoon, i am. i just couldn’t leave, staying after hours just promised me a permanent position. please understand, this is what i’ve been working for.”

hoon scoffed. “are you in a relationship with me or your work?”

she exasperated a sigh before walking to the living room and slumping down on the couch. almost instantly, her body felt the soft, cushioned seats that welcomed her — allowing her to feel drained again.

“please, hoon, i’m tired-“

“that’s how our arguments always end, doesn’t it? you forget a date of ours, then you come home and you say you’re tired, then we’re fine the next day.” the male ridiculed, walking to the living room as well. “when is this gonna stop, y/n?”

“sunghoon..,”

“no, you’re saying you’re tired but i’m the tired one.”

y/n sighed as she sat up, body becoming depleted of energy. “i’m sorry but this internship is worth everything right now, and i’m doing so well with making an impression.”

“worth everything?” sunghoon reiterated with a shaky tone. “even our relationship?”

✩ ‘chemistry till it blows up, till there’s no us’ ✩

“what? no, hoon, that’s not what i meant.”

“is that what our relationship means to you?”

she looked up to his eyes that were inflamed with betrayal. “this job defines my future, sunghoon. this job is what i’ve always wanted, can’t you see that?” a hint of irritation was made present in her voice, showing that her sleep deprivation was irking her to be annoyed.

sunghoon sniffled, quickly wiping away a few tears so his girl wouldn’t feel troublesome. “i see that, y/n, i see it very clearly. i feel like i never see you anymore, in fact. you’re barely here.” his tone was firm, hinting that he was reflecting the energy back.

“this job is for our future too, sunghoon. i’m working to get a good position for financial stability.” y/n uttered, feeling her droopy eyes threaten to close. her mind quickly recalled back to their slight age gap as she felt the weigh of carrying it all on her shoulders.

“our future? you really think there’s gonna be a future with us when i never see you anymore?” the boy murmured, fists clenching with every word that left his mouth.

he hated what he was saying, but it was the truth.

however, her heart still dropped when she processed what he had uttered.

“you don’t think there’s a future with us..?” she took a particularly harsh gulp as tears finally streamed down her cheeks.

“you’re never here, y/n. how can there be a relationship if it’s only one person putting effort?” sunghoon responded, tears taking its fall for him as well.

the two stayed quiet.

no more raised voices and no more hushed words.

they both had reasons to be mad at each other, but they couldn’t see the others point.

y/n didn’t know what to say. her reasonings were being constantly repeated, but it seemed like it wasn’t going through his head — same with him.

“hoonie.., i’m sorry that i’m not there a lot but, i.. i’m just trying really hard to impress my superior and it’s-“

“your superior?” his soft voice squeaked. “mark..?”

the girl raised her head to peer up at him, only to find his thick brows slightly scrunched while his lips were molded into a frown.

“yes,” she sighed. “mark.”

“you stayed late on our 1000 day celebration with mark?” he uttered, voice weakening at the thought.

“yes, but mark’s just my superior. he has to be there when i work late.”

sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head with a low chuckle. no words could be formed with how much jealousy was seeping through him.

“sunghoon.”

he turned his body away from hers as a response, jaw tensing with every envy thought that she unintentionally spent their 1000 day celebration with mark.

“park sunghoon,” y/n firmly called, causing him to look at her. “you can not seriously be jealous right now.”

“jealous that he got to have time with you, and i didn’t? ridiculous.” he let a small puff of air slip by his lips before gazing back at her.

at this point, the girl was completely worn out. she wanted silence, and this argument was bringing her to her limit.

“you really can’t be jealous of mark. i’m your girlfriend, he’s a coworker; and i’m only there late because of how hard i’m working to secure this job, to ensure our financial stability.” she repeated, voice slightly raised as her patience wore thin. her body was begging to rest, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this quarrel.

sunghoon stayed quiet, considering his choice of words before mumbling, “how much does he make?”

they locked eye contact and y/n instantly saw his teary, red eyes that begged for reassurance.

“what?” she softly asked, word almost incoherent with how much her heart shattered at his gaze.

the tall male shamed his head away, tears painting his cheeks more as he reluctantly croaked — “nothing, never mind.”

“hoon-“

she stood, body barely standing on its own,

but her boyfriend walked away with a murmur — “good night.., gorgeous.”

he still said her favorite nickname even through all of this.

before y/n could say more, sunghoon had already disappeared from her sight — walking into their bedroom without another word.

she sighed whilst sitting back down onto the couch. her boyfriend had just built a barricade around his feelings, shutting himself out to push her away and she wasn’t sure on what to do.

✩ ‘i blew things out of proportion now you’re blue’ ✩

but if he needed space, then she was gonna give it.

✩ ‘why’d i have to break what i love so much?’ ✩

so she settled down onto the couch, situating between the extra pillows and blankets kept in the closet to not disturb him any further.

it wasn’t as snug as her bed with her favorite boy, but it’d do for now.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[ 12:52am ]

y/n was half asleep on the couch now after having dreaded doubts about their argument.

her body faced away from the opening side, giving her no possible way of catching sunghoon if he were to get up for a bathroom run.

she felt cold and stiff without him. nothing would be able to comfort her as much as his embracing warmth could.

the girl softly sniffled, feeling tears well up in her tired eyes while attempting to go to sleep.

as her heart laid heavy with her, sudden feet movements were heard from her opposing side — hinting that her boyfriend had gotten up.

she figured that it was most likely for a quick bathroom break but when she felt his arms suddenly engulf her into his chest, the weighed feeling was relieved of her.

his soft breaths against her neck only acquired the way he couldn’t sleep without her.

“sunghoon?” y/n faintly whispered against him.

“we’re still mad at each other but i just can’t sleep alone tonight,” he hoarsely said back.

a smile curled onto her lips as she turned her body to face him. the boy’s eyes were closed but she could still find traces of tinted red all around.

✩ ‘it’s on your face, and i’m to blame’ ✩

“hoonie.”

✩ ‘i need to say’ ✩

slowly, he fluttered his eyes awake with a quiet sniffle in his nose. he raised his brows ever so slightly as a response, shattering her heart in the process.

she leaned in before placing a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.

“let’s talk,” y/n uttered, lifting her drowsy body up to sit.

sunghoon softly groaned. “it’s late, baby.” he said in a low, attractive voice.

“i know, but i want us to talk this out so we can go to sleep without any worry.”

she pulled her boyfriend up so he could sit up as well.

he exhaled a heavy sigh of his before letting the quiet atmosphere take over for a second.

“you deserve someone who can provide more,” he broke out, causing her gaze on him to immediately soften. “someone who isn’t just a lost twenty-one year old figuring out life, someone like mark.”

sunghoon felt tears spark at the rim of his eyes once his confession was let out. “you shouldn’t be..,” he paused, throat closing at his reality check. “you shouldn’t be with someone like me. i’m still a college student and.., you just deserve better.”

y/n instantly felt her heart drop with his worried doubt. she let the boy stream down tears so he could cry it out and once he did so, she muttered — “hoon, please look at me..,”

but he avoided her stare, just for a second so he wouldn’t break down again. and when he finally looked at her, she embraced him into her arms.

she wrapped herself tightly around him, hinting that she wouldn’t ever leave like he said.

the male hugged back, arms clinging around her waist as he quietly sobbed a little more.

when y/n pulled away, her hands quickly cupped his cheeks — making him look at her with his eyes that were sparkled from the tears.

“you’re doing enough, sunghoon.” she confirmed with a sniffle. “everything you’re doing is enough. i don’t need or will ever want mark, i like working like this because it gives me motivation, and i love you.”

✩ ‘i’m the one who burned us down’ ✩

her last three words were emphasized before she contently sighed and continued — “i’m sorry that i stayed late on our anniversary. i shouldn’t have because i know this day was important to you too. i’m really sorry.”

✩ ‘but it’s not what i meant, i’m sorry that i hurt you’ ✩

the boy pressed his lips together to form a bread smile. “i’m sorry too, you’re a hard worker and that’s what i love about you. i shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”

y/n wore a half smile, shaking her head afterwards to say, “i know my work schedule is difficult with yours but we’ll make it through this okay? we always do because nonetheless, this is my life and i love that you’re in it.”

the girl placed a sweet and reassuring kiss on his cheek as she said, “you’re my boyfriend and i intend to keep it that way until we hit another chapter.”

✩ ‘i don’t wanna lose, i don’t wanna lose this with you’ ✩

sunghoon’s last tears dropped for the night as he pulled her into a crying kiss.

his lips touched hers and he immediately felt relieved. a quiet groan slipped by his lips in the process, allowing y/n to smile into their kiss.

his hands firmly cupped her cheeks while hers were entangled into his messy hair.

his thick brows were deliciously scrunched together in satisfaction before they both pulled away.

“another chapter, hm? want to start that right now?” the boy teased with a grin.

“sunghoon!” she shouted back, allowing her boyfriend to chortle out laughter.

“i’m kidding!” he flashed a wide smile at her before murmuring, “i’m tired anyway.”

y/n playfully rolled her eyes before smacking his arm. “sure.., let’s just go to sleep.”

she dragged sunghoon to their bedroom, slumping her body down immediately after.

the male giggled and laid down on his side, pulling her into his chest like he always did. her hands gently rested on him as he placed chaste kisses on her forehead.

“good night, pretty girl.”

“good night, baby.”

✩ ‘meet me in the afterglow’ ✩

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[starryriize]

eunseok delulu thoughts?? ☺️

delulu thoughts | eunseok

a/n: i love him so much😭 he’s so cute and *sighs* very perfect bf !! <3 i hope you love this anon!

❀ bf!eunseok who lets you do anything and simply watches you with a loving gaze! he’s so sweet with you :(

❀ bf!eunseok who has already told his friends and family that he’s going to marry you🫶🏼

 ❀ he strikes me as the type to ask if you want to adopt dogs with him! ends up naming it Tornado or something incredibly unrelated to the dog 😭 (it’s so cute tho)

❀ movie!! nights!! it’s so fun with him too because he makes the popcorn and you choose the movie! ends up with you both cuddled together and asleep 🥹

❀ bf!eunseok who has thought about starting a family with you!! the idea of being a father makes him melt inside 🫠 (idk why but i could see him as a girl dad)

❀ he plans the dates!! holds your hand as you walk through downtown or the zoo! gives you his card to pay for souvenirs! strikes me as the type to want to travel with you

❀ he’s the type to probably tease you when you trip over yourself but the minute you get sad or upset that he’s teasing you, he’s kissing you and saying a million apologies

❀ makes dinner for you before you come home!! wakes you up with coffee and a full breakfast regardless of his schedule🫶🏼

❀ brags to his friends about you!! smirks as he explains how his partner is so smart and talented <3

❀ sings you to sleep! when you can’t sleep, he has a glass of warm milk for you and his honey vocals🥹

❀ he’s a calm bf!!! he has such a gentle aura and never yells at you when he’s upset :( he wants you to feel safe and at ease with him! <3

❀ often says things like “id rather be at home with the love of my life” to his friends 🫶🏼

❀ gets you flowers just because!! he thinks they’re as pretty as you :( could see him putting them into a cute vase in your shared house too

❀ favorite activity with you is going shopping!! it can be groceries or anything that you like! 🥹

❀ 1000% willing to do spa days with you!! he relaxes with you after a long day at the studio <3 probably gives you a little massage too (he enjoys receiving them too)

❀ 10/10 bf!! green flag who raises your standards every day :) he just loves you so much 🫶🏼 you thought kdramas raised your standards? nope! your bf does 😌

[yaymiyas]

Yandere!Jock Introduction

warning: yandere content, manipulation, foul language, boys being…boys!, gn reader

YANDERE!JOCK, whose very name gives you the ick. noah. ew. to his medium length golden hair that frames his face ever so tightly, to his tall frame that makes it almost impossible to miss him, and to especially his a million dollar smile that he wears like the latest fashion trend…why do you hate him again?

why do you avoid him like the spanish flu? not even you knew fully. you contemplate about this very topic for weeks, never really getting a straight answer from yourself. from every instants that you two have crossed paths, he has been nothing but forthcoming with you. nothing but sunshines and rainbows. nothing but absolutely perfect.

Yuck.

you never even wanted to actually know who he was. you and your friends may have joked about him and his friend group a few times, but having noah around you 24/7 was never really on your bucket list. he kind of made it his own mission to make his existence your business.

it all started last semester, when you were walking down the hall. chem and statistic books in one arm, and the other quietly struggling to keep your book bag up. with the current cards not being 1000% in your favor, you didn’t really have time to look up at where exactly you were going. but noah did. trying to maneuver through the busy halls isn’t the easiest task with two shoulders filled and a 6’2, linebacker breaking down your neck. you didnt even see him walking beside you for the last two door frames you seemingly passed. all that was on your mind was to successfully get to the exit quick enough so you can get to your car, but satan had other plans.

“i can help you if you dont mind”

not paying the voice any real attention, you flash a struggling smile trying to use that as a quiet sign to leave you alone. one thing you didn’t bank on, was for noah to not really take no as a real answer. or in this case, an annoyed smile. testing his luck, the taller male fixed your book bag strap releasing a whole 2 pounds of weight off of your shoulder. with this new found feeling, you hesitantly stopped in your tracks and paid the stranger a small glance. looking back was noah, smiling widely like he just won the latto.

YANDERE!JOCK who finds a way to comfort you at all the right times. a random rumor about you started to spread at the speed of light. nobody would tell you where it started, or why they believe it but all you know is that it is messing up your senior year. you wanted to end your high school career better than when you came in, because lets face it, your freshman and sophomore years were ass. not being of bullying or teasing, you just weren’t ready or willing to see that you were in a different environment. things are different from two years ago, well they were supposed to be.

you don’t know how you started crying or when, but you were outside of your ecom class tears soaking your binders. you never allowed the words of others to get to you, always brushed them off. this time around it was different. you were more affected than you thought you would be at things like this. sleeping with a teacher? the same ecom teacher who you deducted points for not citing correctly? the same one who didn’t learn your name until two weeks ago? such a baseless and so easy to be unproven, so why do so many people believe it?

the only reason you were crying outside of your class is because two girls called you a slut to your face. out loud. with grins on their face, like your misery was something that warmed their skin. it was all so disgusting but you couldn’t do anything was cry. why now? why you? why the very last semester of high school? why?

“i heard about what’s going on,”

noah slightly nudges your leg with his foot, forcing your attention solely on him. you didn’t want to look up.

no, you actually wanted to tell him to go away. why was the most annoying, condescending, passive aggressive person in front of you for. the universe and gods must hate you.

“you know,”

he started with a hint of glee in his voice. was this all a joke to him? was he enjoying your tears? was your agony entertainment for him? this sick bastard. if you could, you would pull him by his hair and yank him to the floor. a knee to the stomach wouldn’t do anything to a linebacker right?

“its okay if you slept with him…we all have our low points.”

wow.

oh.

you are a joke to him. his smile never wavered, no it actually got bigger. you turned your head a bit so both of you were staring into the others. his ocean blue eyes seemed to turn into a black hole, sucking you into it with no avail. this is sick. he is sick. was he the one to fucking tell everybody that? how did he even know about the rumor? why was he here? what does he want from you, and how far will he go to get it.

[ms-demeanor]

Since some people might want a Mac, I'll offer a Mac equivalent of your laptop guide from the perspective of a Mac/Linux person.

Even the cheapest Macs cost more than Windows laptops, but part of that is Apple not making anything for the low end of the tech spectrum. There is no equivalent Mac to an Intel i3 with 4 gigabytes of RAM. This makes it a lot easier to find the laptop you need.

That said, it is possible to buy the wrong Mac for you, and the wrong Mac for you is the 13-inch MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Get literally anything else. If it has an M2 chip in it, it's the most recent model and will serve you well for several years. Any new MacBook Air is a good pick.

(You could wait for new Macs with M3, but I wouldn't bother. If you are reading these guides the M3 isn't going to do anything you need done that a M2 couldn't.)

Macs now have integrated storage and memory, so you should be aware that whatever internal storage and RAM you get, you'll be stuck with. But if you would be willing to get a 256 gig SSD in a Windows laptop, the Mac laptop with 256 gigs of storage will be just as good, and if you'd be willing to get 8 gigs of RAM in a Windows laptop the Mac will perform slightly better with the same amount of memory.

Buy a small external hard drive and hook it up so Time Machine can make daily backups of your laptop. Turn on iCloud Drive so your documents are available anywhere you can use a web browser. And get AppleCare because it will almost certainly be a waste of money but wooooooow will you be glad it's there if you need it.

I get that you are trying to help and I am not trying to be mean to you specifically, but people shouldn't buy apple computers. That's why I didn't provide specs for them. Apple is a company that is absolutely terrible to its customers and its customers deserve better than what apple is willing to offer.

Apple charges $800 to upgrade the onboard storage from a 256GB SSD to a 2TB SSD.

A 2TB SSD costs between $75-100.

I maintain that any company that would charge you more than half the cost of a new device to install a $100 part on day one is a company making the wrong computer for you.

The point of being willing to tolerate a 256GB SSD or 8GB RAM in a Windows laptop is that you're deferring some of the cost to save money at the time of purchase so that you can spend a little bit in three years instead of having to replace the entire computer. Because, you see, many people cannot afford to pay $1000 for a computer and need to buy a computer that costs $650 and will add $200 worth of hardware at a later date.

My minimum specs recommendations for a mac would be to configure one with the max possible RAM and SSD, look at the cost, and choose to go buy three i7 windows laptops with the same storage and RAM for less than the sticker price of the macs.

So let's say you want to get a 14" Macbook pro with the lowest-level processor. That's $2000. Now let's bump that from 16GB RAM and a 512GB SSD to 32GB and 2TB. That gets you to $3000. (The SSD is $200 less than on the lower model, and they'll let you put in an 8TB SSD for $1800 on this model; that's not available on the 13" because apple's product development team is entirely staffed by assholes who think you deserve a shitty computer if you can't afford to pay the cost of two 1991 Jeep Cherokee Laredos for a single laptop).

For $3000 you can get 3 Lenovo Workstation laptops with i7 processors, 32GB RAM, and a 2TB SSD.

And look, for just $200 more I could go up to 48GB RAM and get a 4TB SSD - it costs $600 to upgrade the 14" mac from a 2TB SSD to a 4TB SSD so you could still get three laptops with more ram and the same amount of storage for the cost of one macbook.

I get that some people need to use Final Cut and Logic Pro, but hoo boy they sure are charging you through the nose to use products that have become industry standard. The words "capture" and "monopoly" come to mind even though they don't quite apply here.

"Hostile" does, though, especially since Mac users end up locked into the ecosystem through software and cloud services and become uncertain how to leave it behind if they ever decide that a computer should cost less than a month's rent on a shitty studio apartment in LA.

There's a very good reason I didn't give mac advice and that's because my mac advice is "DON'T."

[switch--blades]

Hi all, as I've stated in a previous post June and I have found ourselves in a situation where we unfortunately have less funds than we need.

At very least we need $500 USD by the end of April to pay May rent, however June also has some dental work that needs to be addressed as soon as possible which is an additional $1000 USD needed minimum to get that started.

I can do tarot readings in exchange for any help, and we are both willing to sell content to help us make it through this rough patch, you can DM me here or June @ur-pet-vampcat with any inquiries.

ca

pp

We thank you all for your support during this time, if you're not able to donate please reblog in hopes that more people see this post and have the ability to help.

0/500 USD

do not tag this post, please only reblog to share

[woncherie]

anon asked: Ok but imagine the strawhat pirates trying to prepare luffy for his first date

genre: fluff, gender neutral reader

im currenrly reposting a few old stories i wrote some time ago from my old blog!! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

the strawhat pirates preparing luffy for his first date:

Ok so first things first every single member probably thinks you are nuts for agreeing to go out with their captain, but when they saw how happy you and Luffy were when you agreed to spend some time together they just couldnt help but smile, trying their best since they know how dense their captain can be.

After Sanji finally calmed down and stopped crying because Luffy got a date and he didnt, he and Nami are willing to teach him how to fucking eat like a normal person (in case you are going out to eat) because the way Luffy just crams a bunch of food into his mouth is not quite pleasant, no matter if its in front of his crush or in front of them.

But lets be realistic, after one and a half hours both of them would just give up because there is no way Luffy will use a fork or spoon correctly.

Usopp is the one responsible for taking care that Luffy showers properly, even if it means he has to get into that damn shower by himself and scrub his whole body. I think its no secret that Luffy barely showers, because... water? and Luffy? Nope, not gonna happen.

Robin and Zoro are not really interfering, just watching the whole rigmalore in front of them and smiling to themselves. They both think there is no need to change the way their captain behaves since you agreed to go out with the huge dork, not with a forced gentlemen, but instead of calming them down they both just watch the whole crew make a fuss. Its kinda like Luffys friends are more excited about the date then he is.

Franky is already searching for the fake mustaches they wore at dressrosa in order to follow you discreetly, thinking that this will truely disguise them. Plot twist: It doesnt.

Brook and Chopper are trying to convince him to change in some more appropriate clothes, but there is no way Luffy would change. He is comfortable in what he is wearing and he probably doesnt even own anything different than his colored shirts and blue shorts.

At the end of the day every one of his crew members got exhausted because there is no freaking way their captain will change and will become a gentlemen in less then half a day. Thats probably when Robin finally speaks up and calms everyone down.

You are probably in your own room, not noticing how the other members harassed Luffy the whole evening over, just trying to get ready by yourself, already excited to explore the new island you landed on some hours earlier with Luffy. At some point Nami even barges into the room, looking quite exhausted, asking if you are 1000% sure to go out with the gummy boy. And you are just like... Yes?? You are sure. At least you think you are lol.

Nami is giving Luffy some extra money to spend on the island - which is a very very bad idea actually since he will lose it in no matter of time or spend it on complete bullshit. Thats probably the reason why she also gave you a bit more money than usually, knowing that Luffy will throw it out of the window and you have to pay for him, but you dont mind at all.

Five minutes after you both left the ship to go explore the island, Franky showed up with the beards and hats in order to follow you and take care that everything is going smoothly. But no way would Robin let them leave the ship, no matter how much they begged or tried to convince her. She would even use her devil fruit powers in order to keep the other strawhat pirates on their ship. She just wants to respect your and Luffys privacy.

No one of them knows how the date was. They just sat on the Sunny all day, wondering about all the scenarios that could happen.

After some hours they finally hear your and Luffys voices again, even though its just a muffled dialogue since you are currently talking in front of the ship instead of climbing up. Even Zoro became curious on how it went, every single one of them looking down and trying to peek on both of you, reading your faces. The only thing they saw though was how you gave Luffy a big smooch on his red cheeks, and him showing you the biggest gummismile he has, giggling slightly. Even you could tell how the tense atmosphere upstairs left immediately, everyone smiling down on both of you, happy it went well.

☆☆☆

i hope you liked it aaaa english is not my first language so it may be a bit hard to read,, i hope you still enjoyed this small fic <3

[honeybeeofficial]

okay I know your post was about how annoying it is when people make comments about selling your craft and while I certainly can’t speak for other people I would spend mmmmh I’d say $450 on horseshoe crab bag. I have $450 in my bank account right now and would use it to buy a horseshoe crab shaped bag.

This illustrates another piece of the issue that maybe I didn't fully spell out in my post about how badly people underestimate the cost of handmade goods– which is that even when a non-crafter hears "handmade crafts are expensive," they still often don't really grasp the scale we're talking about.

When the same friend I mentioned in the original post found out that I handmade the journal I carry around, he asked if he could pay me to make him one. He said he would happily pay $15–20 for a good journal. I laughed and told him that the labor involved would make it a lot more expensive than that, and he went "oh, like… 30–40? Yeah, that might be more than I'd want to spend." …The actual cost for that journal would likely be around $80–100.

What makes me think you didn't fully comprehend my original post is that in that post, I gave a rough estimated overview of what the cost would be. I said that if I'm charging what my labor is actually worth, $615 is the bare minimum for that item, and that it would likely be more.

After updating my math and factoring in things like packaging + shipping, the "fair price" for a horseshoe crab bag comes out to $780 USD. That's with me charging $25/hr, which is less than I make at my actual job even though leatherworking is more physically taxing. I made a post about how commissions would work if anyone actually wanted to spend that much.

I'm not mad at you, anon (nor am I mad at the friend I've mentioned), but it's clear to me that the original point about how expensive handmade goods are didn't really click for you. Fast fashion and mass industrial production have really degraded our sense of how much things are actually worth, because you can get just about anything almost instantly for a tiny fraction of what it would take an individual to produce.

For the same reason, I've ruled out ever taking my graphic design career in a freelance direction– anytime I've taken a freelance project, or considered it, I get to the point where I calculate what to charge and I just wince and shy away from the project entirely… because I have a gut feeling that something like a logo "should" cost around $100–200… but when I do the math for my time, I would actually have to charge $600–1000 (for a logo! Just a logo!), and I'm just mentally incapable of enforcing that for myself day in and day out to make a living wage.

If you have 5–10 minutes, I'd recommend this exercise to anyone:

Think of a project or task you've done lately. Pick something with measurable start and end points, such as an art project, folding laundry, washing the dishes, writing an essay, etc.

How much do you think you would pay someone else to do that task for you? Write that down. This is "A."

How long did that task take you to do? Write that down (in # of hours). This is "B." Approximate number is fine.

Did that task require any special tools? What about materials? Even basic things like sponges, paint, etc. Roughly estimate the cost of all the tools and materials you used. Because you'd likely get multiple uses out of most tools/materials, divide that number by 5. Write down the new number; this is "C."

What do you think is a fair minimum wage for your area? Many people have been fighting for $15/hr for a long time, but arguably this is still too low. If you're not sure, use $15/hr as a baseline. Write that down. This is "D."

Multiply B by D. Add C. This new number is "E."

How close is E to A? I'd be willing to bet that E is quite a bit higher than A. Remember, the hourly wage you used to calculate this might not even reflect what this work is actually worth. Does this give you a better idea of what you would actually need to pay someone to do that task for you?

Not all work is quantifiable in this way, and modern technology does allow for processes to be combined and optimized in ways that won't be reflected in your process. For example, buying a single bagel would not cost $60, because a bagel shop can make lots of bagels at the same time, using the same materials and equipment. But this absolutely does apply to things like hiring someone to clean your house, do your homework, or– of course– create handmade crafts.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Loumand

Assad was NOT. PLAYING.

Put those village feeders AWAY, sir~! 😍 You look ready to start lactating, omg! Assad NEVER misses a day at the gym!

What happened to y'all being so in sync, fellas?

Armand seems WAY more delusional here than Louis, for once. Which is telling--Armand had long been "failing" to hold onto his coven, and his authority.

Louis reading about Death while his daughter's arguing for her life, I can't.

And this little shrug when Armand punished Claudia, omfg, he is giving weak-willed-mother-who-lets-the-mean-stepfather-run-roughshod-over-her-kids-cuz-the-peen-is-too-good-and-he-pays-all-the-bills.

So we go from Lestat's "the Meat" and Claudia's "Kill Juice" to Armand's "Cattle."

NGL, I'd be pissed if I was the coven, too. How you gon' have this dude sit there not needing to follow the rules, while all of us are stuck wearing clown makeup and having our makers killed cuz of your dumb rules?!

I REALLY like this mutinous angle AMC's using, fleshing out the tension in the coven more, cuz it really makes sense.

I get that Louis would want to be around, but omfg cut the umbilcal already! I agree with the coven: like, WHY are you there exactly? Not even the worst helicopter moms are allowed to sit in class with their kids all day, so wtf? And I agree that Armand needs to draw MUCH thicker lines in the sand. Coven business is coven business--if Louis' not gonna even be allowed to speak up in Claudia's defense, then he shouldn't be there at all. ESPECIALLY if he's gonna flaunt how much he doesn't GAF about their rules--their CULTURE.

Aw crap, you got the homie Estelle mad, too?!

You done effed up, Louis--that's the smile of a psychopath. XD

Oh, he's keeping SOMETHING tight, he ain't lyin! 😜

👀

LOUIS! The ONE time you should've lied, omfg! 🤦 It's called making a UNITED FRONT, ffs!

Louis said Hot Girl Summer--literally.

🔥🕯️ FIRE GIFT LOUIS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ️‍🕯️🔥

Louis said it only works when he's PISSED OFF, OH LAAAWWWWD!

This bit scared the crap out of me--at first I was like the coven's gonna jump y'all in your skivvies!? 😂 Then I was like wait--was that a crew member?! How did y'all not catch that in post!?

And then it all became clear.

*crosses self* HISSSSS.

CLEARLY it's not "great," when your man's man is throwing shade at your whole setup in Louis' head. 😬 Armand, you're barking up the wrong Rebound Tree, my guy.

The face that launched 1000 undead theatre kids into a blazing inferno. THE Louis of Troy, yaaaas~!

MESSY QUEEN.

🔥 FIRE GIFT LOUIS LFG. ️‍🔥

And this is likely why Louis believes what Armand said about him teaching Lestat the Mind Gift, cuz Armand taught Louis the Fire Gift.

Oh trust, we know you do, Armand. But how much does LOUIS know? 👀 ESPECIALLY when he doesn't go on hunts with y'all.

This can only end well.... 😬😈

AMC knows what they're doing--you knooooow that would've hurt Les to his core, if he knew Lou said ILY to Armand after only 1.5 years, when he (allegedly) never said it once to Lestat in 30. U_U Cuz you don't effing deserve it yet, Lestat! It's no skin off Lou's back to say that to Armand, cuz he's not REALLY giving up anything. He's not joining their stupid coven, and he's fine with them killing him. But Lou admitting that he loves Lestat means he'd have to take accountability for his COMPLICITY in everything that went wrong in his life, and that he chose Lestat over his entire family, his religion, his self respect, his sanity, ALL of it, for some heinous blonde Frenchman, lord have mercy. 😔 It's a hard pill to swallow.

And he's REALLY in the deep end now, if he expects his imaginary (boy)friend to start keeping promises. 🤦

[headfulloflettuce]

The Human Who Fooled All of Prythian

16. Open for Business

“Cosette! Are you even listening? Do you realize how irresponsible this decision was?”

Cosette stood patiently, waiting for Ophelia to finish the very much-deserved lecture. Theo and his father stood awkwardly behind Ophelia as she explained why Cosette shouldn’t have given away one thousand gold so easily. 

“Ophelia, I hear you.” Cosette spoke up, taking Ophelia’s short pause as an opportunity to resolve this conflict, “I agree with you, but we had been searching for a week with no luck. No place was willing to sell to us considering we want to open a perfumery.”

“Still…” Ophelia sighed, running a hand through her hair, “What if this business won’t take off? You spent a large sum of our money…”

“It will do well.” Cosette spoke confidently.

At the very least it had to be popular amongst the nobility and upper middle class.

“As for the money, if it had been any other building we would have had to pay twice as much, if not four times that amount; meaning, we would have had to take out a loan. All things considered we got really lucky with this find.”

I'll need to write up a detailed spending plan though. 1000 gold is a lot.

“Which is partially why I am concerned.” Ophelia calmed a bit, hearing Cosette’s reasoning, “Why would those people sell this building to you for so cheap?”

“Well, it’s not in the greatest condition.” The floorboards creaked as Cosette spoke, “And even though it’s near the center it’s not smack-dab in the middle of it.”

The two males tensed, sharing a look.

“Wait, you wish to open a perfumery?” Theo spoke up.

“Yep.” Cosette confirmed.

“See? I told you we should go.” the elder whispered to his son.

“Do you understand how challenging it is to sell perfume?” Theo asked, ignoring his father’s urgency.

“I recognize that, but there is a market for it. The available products aren’t good and I know I can deliver something of much higher quality.” Cosette spun around, taking in the building’s interior.

Despite its older and disheveled appearance, the building was quite nice inside, with various wooden trinkets lining the cabinets and shelves.

“What did you both primarily sell?” Cosette asked, gently examining a small dragon figurine.

“We are both trained craftsmen. We worked with wood to make various tools, furniture, and toys.” Theo explained, staring at the floor as Ophelia, who was still unhappy with the situation, glared at him. 

Located at the end of the room was a counter with two staircases on either side leading up to a mezzanine that wrapped around the second floor, full of disorganized tables.

Good news; no need to buy new furniture!

She was definitely trying to stay on the positive note of things considering the mezzanine looked really messy. Cosette walked deeper into the shop, taking mental note of what they would need to fix or reuse, Ophelia and the two men trailing after her. She carefully hopped behind the counter, entering the backroom area where there was a storage space and what looked like a room dedicated to construction work filled with pieces of wood, and carving materials. A sweet smell hung in the air.

“Do you guys cook here?” Cosette sniffed, trying to pinpoint the scent.

“Oh no, it’s just the soaps.” the elder answered quickly.

“Soaps?”

The older man showed her a cabinet under a small basin filled with various cleaning supplies, “We use these to clean whenever we finished work or polished our creations.”

Cosette nodded.

How did you even clean for it to still look this…unkempt? If I called this clean back in Autumn Court my head would have been put on a spike.

The group moved upstairs, stepping inside the main office.

Oh, it was pretty. Neglected, but pretty.

Large windows behind a desk illuminated the room and presented the view of the street below. Both sides of the office were lined by empty, dusty shelves.

“What was this room used for?”

“Oh, we just stored paperwork here.” Theo pipped in.

“Did you not use it as an office?”

“No, we didn’t need to.” the older man retorted.

‘Didn’t need to’? Ha.

Cosette didn’t push the subject, sensing the older man’s wounded pride.

If one doesn’t have a properly functioning center of management, nothing will get done. 

She eyed the scattered paperwork, running her finger along the oak desk, the three fae watching her quietly.

I wouldn’t be surprised if their lack of organization was part of the reason for their business’s downfall.

“Well then.” she smiled at the group, “We better get started.”

“Do we really have to clean the whole store?” Theo was borderline whining as he scrubbed the floor clean, dust and paint slowly coming away to reveal the beautiful cherry wood flooring beneath.

“Yes, we do.” Cosette wiped down the windows from the inside, while Ophelia cleaned them from the outside. The elder fae was tasked with unloading the paperwork from cabinets and drawers into boxes, since Theo insisted that he couldn’t do hard, physical labor, “Right now it looks like an abandoned haunted house. People don’t tend to want to shop in those.”

Theo sighed dramatically, scrubbing the floor harder. 

Cosette and Ophelia finished cleaning the windows, moving onto the shelves and cabinets.

“We’ll need to get a long stick to clean the top part of the porch.” Ophelia said, throwing away a dirty rag, disgusted by the collected grime.

“There is a broom in the back.” the elder said.

“That should work.” Ophelia disappeared into the back, returning with a broom, using it to clean the porch and ridges of the building.

“I am done.” the older fae put the last piece of paper into a box.

“Perfect, can you take them upstairs?” Cosette smiled.

“I’ve got it father.” Theo quickly grabbed the boxes instead, taking them upstairs.

The elder smiled fondly, watching his son go upstairs. Ophelia gave Cosette a small look, assigning the elder more paperwork to sort through and catalog away.

The man sighed, “Is this necessary? Can’t we just throw all this out?”

You want to throw away years worth of evidence of your hard work?

“Well, we can throw them out later. For now it’s best to gather them all into boxes for easy transport.” Cosette explained calmly.

Also, if I'm being completely honest, I want to see what went wrong with your business.

“Hmpf.” the elder nodded, reluctantly continuing his work.

“Alright, good work team.” Cosette smiled. The shop was no longer filled with dust, the tables and floors looking usable, “Tomorrow we’ll meet up here at 8 am to continue cleaning.”

“That early?!” Theo exclaimed.

Ophelia glared murder at the man.

Remind me to never whine in front of Ophelia.

“Yes, that early.”

Cosette was starting to see why these two were in so much debt.

“I want to be working on perfume production by the end of the week, so tomorrow we will clean out the back two rooms and continue to gather all your documents and supplies for record keeping.”

The two men nodded hesitantly, remaining at the shop, in the two rooms accessible through the mezzanine near the main office. Meanwhile, Cosette and Ophelia walked back to the inn in silence. Cosette hesitantly glanced at her friend.

“I am sorry.”

Ophelia looked at her.

“I should have asked you before buying the building. I just…” Cosette looked down at the ground, “We weren’t getting anywhere, and when the perfect opportunity presented itself I couldn’t let it go.”

Ophelia sighed, pulling Cosette into a side hug, “I get it. I am sorry for going off on you like that. It’s not even my money, you’re the one who…accumulated it”

Is that what we’re calling stealing now?

“That’s not fair.” Cosette shook her head. She wasn’t about to make Ophelia financially dependent on her in that way. It would be cruel.

“We survived this far together, I didn’t mean to undermine that.”

Ophelia laughed, “Oh…if more fae had your decency and kindness.” she looked down at her Cosette, “Are you going to try and help those two pay off their debt?”

“I am hoping that once we start selling perfumes I can pay them a salary which can cover that. You’re also going to get paid. Obviously.”

“Well gee I would hope so.” Ophelia laughed, bumping into Cosette playfully.

When they got back to the inn Blanche was serving the inn’s guests dinner. Ophelia dug into the food while Cosette slowly nibbled, staring at the parchment before her.

The main issue was money; they only had about four hundred and fifty silvers left.

I still needed to purchase the necessary equipment and glass vials for perfume production. We could save money on renovations by not using the building immediately and instead selling the perfumes outside in the fresh air. 

While they were exploring the city Cosette had recorded the most lucrative places to purchase glassware and materials for perfumes. A huge cost saving benefit came from the fact that perfumes in Winter Court traditionally were made to be so strong that all the materials sold for them were highly concentrated. Meaning, Cosette could save money by purchasing the necessary supplies and then diluting to achieve a more gentle version of the scent. 

I’ll begin with creating non-alcohol based perfumes as that permits me to reach a wider audience thus earning a larger profit.

Cosette frowned.

Despite all this, we’re barely fitting into the budget. Unless…I don’t eat breakfast and dinner. That way I could give the spending margin some wiggle room.

Cosette nodded approvingly, looking over her work.

“Don’t forget to eat.” Ophelia reminded her between mouthfuls of the soup.

“Right..”

Cosette savored the broth’s taste while she could.

Cosette had begun looking through the paperwork Theo and his father had filed while running their business, slowly discovering all the reasons why their business fell apart. First off, some of the first goods they had been trying to sell were considered luxury items that had high quality competition in the area with better marketing. Second, their turn out time for tools and toys was extremely low if she was to trust the listed dates on production records. Even if fae liked their products, there was too little being produced in too long a time frame.

A small knock pulled Cosette out of her thoughts.

“Yes?”

Theo opened the door to the office, giving her a small smile, “Ophelia brought lunch.” 

“Oh thank you.”

Theo walked over, putting a small sandwich down on the desk, turning to leave.

“Wait.”

He stopped, looking back at her, “Yes?” The man looked much better than his first day here. Not clean, but properly groomed hair and tucked-in clothes.

“I wanted to ask, how much debt do you still owe those men?” Cosette put her face into her hands, watching Theo closely.

“Ah…” Theo rubbed the back of his head nervously, “May I ask why you want to know?”

I need to know how high to price the perfumes and how much to pay you two so that you can pay off your debts at the end of this. That way I won’t feel as bad for stealing your home away…

“I want to help you. To do that I need to know how much money you owe.”

“Oh.” Theo stared at her with wide eyes, “It’s um…6000 gold.”

Okay damn.

“Do you have any money saved already?”

“Um…I haven’t told my father yet, because I wanted to surprise him, but I have saved up 2,500.”

Oh, not as bad.

“I can work with that.” Cosette jotted down the information.

“Aren’t you…going to ask why we owe so much?”

“Isn’t it because of your business?” Cosette looked at him.

“Yes…that’s what it started off with but it steadily got worse because of my father’s sickness.”

“He’s sick? What is he sick with?”

“The doctors haven’t been able to diagnose him, but the medicine the men provided him with helped.”

“Are they doctors?” Cosette raised her eyebrows.

They didn't look like they worked in the medical business.

“They’re not, but a healer who works for them said it was good for him.”

“I see. Is your father alright right now?”

Safe to assume he hasn't been getting his medication due to the situation.

“We have a small supply, so he will be alright for a while.”

Cosette nodded, “Oh by the way, what was the stuff the group took out of your building?”

“Uh…I am not sure actually. My father said that as part of the deal the men we borrowed money from would use a part of the backroom as storage space for their own business.”

“You don't know what you stored in your own home?” Cosette's voice was a bit harsher than she intended, but she was shocked by the lack of awareness this man was exhibiting, “Do you know what business they run?”

“From what I know, the central company they all work for does something related to shipping.” Theo paused, his voice turning insisting, “I trust my father. He can tell you the details.”

Something tells me your father won’t want to tell me those details.

Cosette smiled, “I'll ask him.”

Theo shifted awkwardly, looking like he wanted to say something.

“Yes?” Cosette looked at him

“I…wanted to say thank you.”

“Pardon?‘

“Thank you for helping us.”

Cosette laughed softly, “Thank me once we both get out of this situation.”

“No. I mean it.” Theo’s face turned serious, “We were about to be left without a home yet you saved me and my father. Now you're offering us a way to pay off our debt. It truly means the world to me.”

Cosette was taken aback. Considering this man's complaining over the past couple days, she had prepared herself to only hope for an amicable parting once this ordeal ended.

“Yeah, don't mention it.”

Just don't do anything that would jeopardize mine or Ophelia's life and we're Gucci.

Theo smiled, “Oh also, I cleared out some more of the equipment in the back and I found some glassware and bottles you mighty find useful.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Yay! Saving money!

Cosette turned back to the paperwork before her, stacking a few of the ledgers she looked over and moving them to the side. She looked through some of the papers listing off all owned materials. Since she wanted to start off selling perfumes outside she would need to set up a stand of sorts. Lucky for her there were plenty of tables in the catalog she could use.

It wasn’t anything fancy but it would do. 

Cosette put away the catalog with her list of renovation plans for the store once they could afford it. The first thing she would change was the flooring of the mezzanine, and the shelves there. Downstairs she wanted to reuse some of the older cabinets in the back for storage and replace them with updated versions. She also wanted to repaint most of the walls, or get some proper wallpaper as she had found peeling paint. Cosette really didn’t want to work in the 2.0 version of Miss Havisham’s house.

She paused suddenly.

What was this?

The ledger she picked up looked completely different from the other ones. Cosette flipped back to the previous one. 

Yep, definitely different. From the paper type to the handwriting.

She compared the two closely. On the surface level it didn’t seem like there was much of a difference, but certain terms kept getting repeated in the new ledger that weren’t present in the other one.

Rosewood, lilac and soaps.

Attached to every other strange ledger was a small list describing the number of shipments to be received.

‘Make room for five boxes of soaps.’

‘Shipment of seven boxes coming this Tuesday.’

‘Store three containers on the left side of the room.’

Cosette had decided to keep the majority of the ledgers she looked through filed within the office and pocket the stack of papers that stuck out the most. 

Just in case they ever came in handy.

“What do you mean no dinner?” Ophelia put her arms on her hips, staring down Cosette.

“I want to make sure we have enough money to start producing perfumes. In order to do that I am skipping breakfast and dinner.”

“Cosette, if anyone should be skipping meals here it’s me. As a fae my body can heal and recover much faster than yours.”

“Ophelia I can’t ask that of you.”

Not after you were denied proper food for so long, or when I threw us head first into this situation.

Ophelia groaned from frustration, stomping downstairs. Cosette continued working on the documents before her, humming gently as she looked over their progress that week. Everything was set up to begin perfume produ-

“Cosette!” Blanche burst into the room.

Uh-oh.

“Yes miss Blanche?” Cosette looked at her bewildered.

“Why is Ophelia telling me that you’re not coming down for dinner?”

“Because we need to save money?”

Blanche huffed, storming away. Ophelia looked sheepish.

“Did you snitch on me?”

“No!” Ophelia waved her hands, a small smile on her lips, “I just told her the truth!”

Cosette sighed.

Blanche quickly returned with an overflowing plate, and an empty one.

“Miss Blanche, really this isn’t necessary.” Cosette protested.

I don’t want to owe you!

“Nonsense.” Blanche placed the plate before Cosette, motioning Ophelia over, “I am giving you one plate of food as requested.”

Cosette looked at the plate. It was obvious the serving size was for two people.

“Miss Bla-”

“And stop it with the ‘miss’ title, just call me Blanche.” The woman looked frustrated.

“Thank you Blanche.” Ophelia dug into the food.

Cosette looked at the food, her stomach growling.

“Eat dear.” Blanche gave Cosette a look similar to the one she gave Fermin when he refused to eat his breakfast.

“Okay.” Cosette reluctantly ate.

I don’t want to owe you…

Cosette glanced back as Blanche left the room, returning to her duties.

Why sacrifice food for us when prices were only rising?

Reading the question on Cosette’s expression Ophelia smiled, “Perhaps she’s just a good person, like someone else I know.” she winked.

“What is that?”

“Glassware for extraction.”

“What’s that?”

“A pot for combining oils and solutions.”

“What’s that?”

“Tubes for diluting substances.”

Cosette had finished cleaning out the back area of the store, turning it into a miniature chemistry lab. The small shelves lining the tables no longer contained tools for carving, but instead beakers and vials.

Theo stared over her shoulder in wonder as she adjusted and examined the simple glasses and tubes. Cosette carefully set up a miniature pot to begin boiling, testing if the equipment worked.

“Do you use any magic to make the perfume?” the elder leaned over as well.

“No.”

“No?”

“No, there is no need.” Cosette replied, smiling slightly at the elder’s shocked expression. The pot’s water began boiling.

Good, everything was working well.

“I rely on alternative methods to produce perfumes.”

“Huh.” the older fae examined the equipment, “I am unsure if that will work well, Winter fae like high quality products. This just seems like a fast way to ruin ingredients.”

“I am not ruining the ingredients, I am extracting the most out of them.” Cosette clarified, concentrating on organizing the glass vials. She would need to be careful with these as she couldn’t afford to replace them at the moment.

Meaning I have only so many chances to get the scents just right.

Theo stared at the set up in wonder, “How many bottles of perfume can you make with this?”

“I’ll need to test the exact amount but I estimate around 20 small bottles per run.” Cosette adjusted a funnel and the improvised filtration paper, pouring some dirty water through it to test its effectiveness.

“We don’t need too many though for the first test run.”

Theo perked up, “You mentioned wanting to sell the perfumes outside since the store isn’t in working condition; have you thought of how you want to set the whole thing up?”

“Hmm, well I was thinking of just setting out a table with some nice cloth on it. Maybe design some signs for it too.” Cosette answered.

“I can build a stand if you want.”

“Sorry?”

“A stand.” he repeated, “Somewhere to store your items and goods to show off to the people outside.”

“You can build that?”

“Of course.” Theo smiled cockily, “I am a woodworker, I can build anything you ask me to!”

“Ha!” the elder man laughed, “Don't even think about bothering with it son. A table is more than enough.”

I am willing to bet money you are responsible for the below product output of your previous business.

Theo deflated slightly, clearly having been excited about the project.

“But I want to. Cosette has been working hard to prepare, it would be good to do something besides cleaning the shop.”

“She hasn’t even begun making the perfumes! It’s all a waste until she has an actual finished product.” the elder stomped out of the back area, muttering under his breath, “Seriously, younglings, always ignoring their elders’ advice.”

Cosette watched the fae leave with narrowed eyes, turning back to Theo.

“If you’re willing to build a stand, I would greatly appreciate it.”

Theo dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand, “You heard what my father said, it won’t make much of a difference.”

“Presentation does matter.” Cosette corrected.

Sometimes it was a matter between life and death.

“The fact that you thought of it is a sign you understand good business practices.”

“Thanks, I am sorry about him. He’s always been a little bit skeptical of change. He really cares about the business we had before and it’s hard for him to let go.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Cosette smiled, “You haven’t done anything.”

Theo stared at her, blushing slightly, “I’ll um, get started on designing the stand.”

“I look forward to seeing what you create.”

“Cosette…get in bed.” Ophelia murmured sleepily, turning off the lights.

“I will in a bit.” Cosette poured over paperwork filled with chemical equations and formulas.

I haven’t done synthetic organic chemistry in a while.

Cosette scrunched her nose, drawing out the necessary chemical reactions she would need to recreate to produce the selected scents. She had settled on cinnamon and vanilla as her launching points. She was having to simplify certain parts, simply because she didn’t have access to technology of Earth, but it would still produce the required effect.

Her other concern was her own scent. 

How was I supposed to make a scent that acted as a void? One that could mask my humanity?

Cosette stared at the papers before her, words and letters beginning to warp together. She flinched, feeling two hands gently wrap around her in a hug. The arms stopped, pulling back.

“Sorry.” Ophelia said softly, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t do anything.”

You weren’t the one to hurt me.

Cosette let Ophelia lead her over to the bed, snuggling close as Ophelia blew out the last candle.

Cosette lay there, engulfed by the darkness. She didn’t feel happy, but she didn’t feel sad either.

Yeah…this is okay.

“This is boring.”

“It’s necessary.”

Oh my Lord, like father, like son.

Cosette took a deep breath to remain calm. She had tried to be understanding of Theo’s initial reactions to repetitive work, but the fact that a grown-ass man couldn’t put together that sometimes success requires doing something less ‘fun’ was crazy.

No wonder Theo was the way he was, his father is no better.

She glanced at Theo who was working on unpacking glassware with no complaints.

“What should I do once I get these put away?” 

He even looked different. Gone was the unhappy expression, replaced with a small burning passion. Theo had shown Cosette his designs for the stand he wanted to build which she quickly approved. The display looked inviting and well structured to contain many bottles of perfumes.

She had to insist Theo keep the designs as they were after his father tried to critique and correct them.

“Can you bring over the bottles on the right?” Cosette examined the boiling cinnamon sticks and powder, taking the pot off at the appropriate time.

The elder sighed heavily, continuing to write out labels. Theo quickly did what she asked, rushing over to the older man.

“Here father, I can take care of this. You go take a break.”

“Oh, thank you, boy.” the elder smiled, quickly leaving the room.

Cosette narrowed her eyes. She had always been taught to respect her elders. To treat those who are weaker with kindness and compassion. However, as far she could see…this man did not deserve the same treatment.

What kind of parent shoves work onto their child? What kind of man actively puts down their son’s good ideas?

Suddenly the elder coughed, stumbling slightly.

“Father?” Theo practically flew over to his parent’s side.

“I am alright boy.”

“You haven’t forgotten to take your medicine, right?”

“I’ll go do that now.”

Cosette shook her head. How could she think that way about a sick person?

He was trying his best.

Cosette forced her judgmental thoughts under.

It was wrong of me to think that.

Yes still, Cosette shivered. She couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was off.

“Cosette, are you ready to go?” Ophelia entered the back room, pulling on her cloak.

“Almost.”

Ophelia smiled fondly, joining Cosette on another stool, “What are you working on?”

“I am finishing up the first perfume samples.”

“Wait, seriously?”

Ophelia leaned in, watching curiously as Cosette mixed solutions together, pouring the two finalized liquids into two separate vials.

“They look gorgeous.”

“Thank you. Which one do you want to try first?”

Ophelia shyly pointed to the yellow toned perfume.

“Vanilla it is.” Cosette handed her the vial, letting Ophelia apply it to herself.

Ophelia carefully spritzed the air, taking a careful sniff.

“Oh wow!”

That was a good reaction.

“If I found this in the store I would totally buy it!” Ophelia fangirled.

“I do think I made it a bit too sweet, so I am going to try diluting or countering it by adding musk or citrus oils to it.”

Ophelia nodded in approval, “Can I try the newer versions once you make them?”

“Absolutely, who else would I trust to test the products?”

Cosette began cleaning up her equipment, washing the vials carefully. Ophelia assisted by drying them off, eager to get home.

“What do I smell like?”

“Eh?” Ophelia was taken aback by the question.

“What do I smell like?”

“Like that atrocious perfume you bought from that damned street.”

“No, I mean after I bathe in the evenings. What is my human scent like?”

“Oh, you smell like magnolias. It’s quite wonderful, perhaps even my favorite smell.” Ophelia winked, setting aside the cleaned vials and glasses into their appropriate shelves.

“I appreciate the compliment, but how do you know it’s human?”

“There’s this…subtle undertone of mortality to it?”

“Uh-huh, okay.”

Not the most helpful but it’s a start. What does mortality even smell like?

“Why do you ask?”

“I am making a perfume that can cover my human smell. I don’t want to keep smelling like spoiled fruits and rotting flowers.”

Granted, that was better than smelling like mud.

“You know Cosette, you never cease to amaze me.” Ophelia murmured softly.

“I haven’t even done anything impressive yet.”

Ophelia leaned against her, “‘Yet’? Now I am scared for the fate of Prythian.”

Cosette laughed, “No need to fear. I don’t plan on doing anything too bad.”

“Hm, yeah. You’re too good to do any real damage.”

“Oi!”

The two quickly left the shop, saying their goodbyes to Theo.

Outside darkness had already fallen yet the city was still brimming with life. Cosette took a deep breath, letting her senses overflow with the various smells of foods and spices.

Cosette paused.

What if…instead of masking or nullifying a scent, she could attempt to compliment it? Create a perfume that when added to her existing scent created something new - something that didn’t smell human?

“Ophelia, Blanche, I have a request.” Cosette smiled, holding two small bottles. After spending the whole week perfecting the scents, she was finally satisfied with the end result.

“What is it dear?” Blanche looked up from her food, Forrest trying to force broccoli down Fermin’s throat while Ophelia sipped her tea.

“I want you two to wear these perfumes for the next week.”

Blanche’s expression fell, turning hesitant, “Perfume dear?”

“Ooo, is this the final product?” Ophelia leaned over, looking at the two vials.

“Yeah. Take your pick Ophelia; cinnamon or vanilla?”

“I want the vanilla one! ” Ophelia took the vial, aiming it to spritz on her hand.

“Wait! Spray it outsi-” Blanche and Forrest both moved in a slight panic to stop Ophelia as a gentle scent of cinnamon and nature filled the air.

“Oh.” Blanche said simply.

“I adore this one.” Ophelia smiled.

“Blanche?” Cosette smiled at the woman shyly, “Would you be willing?”

Blanche tentatively took the small bottle, spritzing her wrist once, her eyes widening as a soft cinnamon smell filled the room.

“Oh.” she repeated.

“It’s good right?” Ophelia beamed, excited, returning to her food.

“I want you two to wear it over the course of this week, and if people ask where you got the scent from, tell them it’s from our store.”

“You got it girl!” Ophelia gave Cosette a thumbs up, “I’ll visit all the most popular places!”

“I’ll make sure to let them know.” Blanche agreed, moving closer to her husband to let him smell the perfume.

Forrest nodded in approval, “It’s a delicate smell.”

“Thank you.” Cosette blushed slightly.

The group quickly finished their dinner, dispersing to their rooms.

“Alright Ophelia.” Cosette took a deep breath, “Let me know if you can still smell the mortality on me.”

Cosette had gone out on a limb here - Ophelia said she smelled of magnolias with a hint of ‘mortality’, what if she created a perfume that smelled of eternity?

It was a lot of effort to find dahlias, but she managed to find a couple for a reasonable price. 

Reasonable as in I stole them.

A part of Cosette hated how easily she relied on such skills to survive. The other part of her understood that it was necessary.

It’s okay, I’ll return and pay the person back once I can.

Cosette sprayed some of the perfume on herself.

Ophelia shook her head, “No Cosette…I can still smell your humanity.”

“Hm.”

Should have guessed it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Perfumery street ‘perfumes’ it is for now then.”

“I truly feel terrible for Blanche.” Ophelia smiled.

“Me too. I haven’t scared off all the customers yet have I?”

“Miraculously no.”

“Cosette stop fussing, the stand looks perfect.” Ophelia chidded.

Cosette looked up at her friend, “I am just double checking everything is in order.”

“You already triple-checked everything. Just breathe for me, okay?”

The fateful opening day had arrived after four weeks of grueling, nonstop work. 

Cosette nodded, taking a deep breath of the crisp air. She had been standing outside for only a minute and already felt like she was about to freeze.

The stand Theo built was perfect, its structure reminiscent of a vanity. Its shelves and sides had vines and snowflakes carved into it, with the shelves and holders being modeled exactly for the perfume bottles they were using.

I’ll need to thank him again for his work later.

Faes had begun walking down the street in the early morning, most trying to get to work, others going to get breakfast. Quite a few faes crossed the street, avoiding their little stand.

Hmm, this wasn’t going well. These people were too scared to even try the perfumes in fear of being bombed by a stench.

Cosette picked up a sample bottle of the vanilla scent, spritzing the air a couple times.

Let’s try to convince them we weren’t biohazard waste disguised as a business. 

One fae female paused, turning back to look at their stand, tilting her head as she smelled the air.

Cosette maintained a calm aura as the woman approached, curiosity etched into her features.

“Excuse me, are these perfumes?”

“Yes miss.” Cosette smiled, her joy bubbling to the surface slightly, “We have two new scents, would you like to try them?”

“What’s the scent in the air?”

“Ah, that’s our cinnamon perfume.”

She nodded hesitantly, picking up the bottle, looking at it closely, “Did you make these?”

Cosette nodded, “I did miss.”

The fae looked impressed, examining the vanilla bottle too.

“This would make a good gift for the Winter Solstice.” The woman looked at the bottles thoughtfully, “How much is it?”

“5 gold pieces.”

“Hmm, affordable compared to the prices in those stores.” the fae nodded to herself, “I’ll take the cinnamon one.”

A couple other faes approached the stand, drawn in by the sweet gentle smell. Others arrived due to Ophelia’s and Blanche’s marketing efforts.

It was by midday that the stand became full of customers. Cosette was for once thankful for the Winter faes’ colder, calmer demeanors as they formed actual lines, rather than all crowding around her and Ophelia all at once.

“What is this?” a male shoved his way through the line.

“Hello sir, can we help you?” Ophelia quickly moved to put herself between the fae and Cosette.

“Like hell you can, what do you think you’re doing? Stealing business away from us good folk?”

“Stealing?” Ophelia laughed, “All we’re doing is selling perfume.”

“You have no right!” the man practically spat, an unpleasant odor, a clear marker of the perfumery street, made everyone around him pinch their noses in displeasure.

“All we did was set up a stand in front of a building we own, we very much have the right to do that.” Cosette spoke up, looking at the man.

The fae laughed, waving his arms as if that was going to strengthen his argument, “Oh so you think you’re all that huh? Coming in with this new perfume or whatever? Trying to steal business away from the professionals?”

The faes around them glanced at each other, their concern growing.

“If you truly were a professional these people wouldn’t be shopping here.” Cosette pointed out.

That was the man's breaking point as he charged at Ophelia, Cosette pulling her to the side as the man ran into the stand, knocking it over, and smashing the perfume bottles. The faes around them cried out, quickly rushing away from the violence, some running to call for the royal guard.

Cosette tried to take a step forward, rage filling her veins, but Ophelia pulled her back.

“Don’t stop him.” she whispered.

“What do you mean ‘don’t stop him’ he’s going to destroy all our hard work!”

“And destroy you in the process.” Ophelia looked at her with a serious expression, “You don’t stand a chance in a physical brawl against him.”

Cosette hated to admit it, but Ophelia was right. So, she swallowed her pride, watching her hard work get broken into smithereens.

The fae eventually stopped, looking at the two women gleefully, “Now what are you gonna do huh? Got no more perfumes left to sell, haha! ”

Good thing I didn’t bring out all the perfumes, though it was a shame to lose that many bottles.

“What got nothing to say?” the man taunted.

The two of them remained silent as he strutted away, making both women, and bystanders cringe.

Theo, having heard the commotion, rushed out of the store. 

“By the Cauldron, what happened?!”

Ophelia carefully approached the shards, picking them and placing them into a pile on the snowy pavement. 

“A perfumer from that stupid street showed up, angry that we were stealing his sales.”

“That bastard.” Theo muttered, pushing the stand into an upright position, assessing the damage.

Cosette kneeled down, helping Ophelia collect pieces of glass and broken off chunks of the stand.

A couple faes approached the group.

“Is anyone hurt?” the woman to make the first purchase asked, her tone worried.

“No, everyone is okay. Except for the stand.” Cosette joked lightly.

“That’s good to hear.” another fae spoke, “We notified the authorities what that man did. Absolutely unacceptable behavior.”

The winter faes around them nodded in agreement - violence of such sort was not to be tolerated.

“Thank you for your assistance.” Cosette smiled.

Really, I should be thanking him. This man has just given us free, good marketing, and the evidence I needed to confirm that we were a worthy competitor. 

Next: Chapter 17 - All Things Magic and Mystic

Back: Chapter 15 - A Sweet Stench

Masterlist

Tag list: @rcarbo1

[nanowrimo]

5 Steps to Get Your Novel Ready to Self-Publish

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Kindle Direct Publishing, a 2022 NaNo sponsor, helps you self-publish eBooks and paperbacks for free. Today, author Denise Grover Swank shares some tips to help you get your novel ready to publish:

Congrats on completing NaNoWriMo! I completed my first book with NaNoWriMo in 2009, and was thrilled when I’d finished, but I wasn’t ready to hit publish just yet!

1. Have someone else read your novel.

Every book needs revising and editing. Trust me, I’ve written over seventy books at this point and still need to revise books. 

You’ll either need to find a developmental editor or alpha readers. Alpha readers—well-read readers and/or other authors—are great for writers on a budget and are usually free. You can find them in writers’ groups or your friends who are readers. Just be careful if you’re using friends and family: they’re going to be biased. (Unless they’re my aunt who read my paranormal thriller and told me I should write children’s books.) 

2. Invest in copy editing.

You’ve revised and edited your book, now what? Copy editing is where you may want to invest if you can. Copy editors look at your book line by line and correct grammatical mistakes. Please, please, please don’t try to do this yourself. You’ve read you book countless times and will miss things. Trust me. I know. (If you need a proofreader, here’s where your friends who can spot a typo a mile away come in handy.)

3. Get a good cover.

Let’s talk covers! Study the market and find out what’s selling in your genre, then find a cover designer who fits the trends. You can spend anywhere from $100 to $1000 or more, but you can get by on the lower end. Just don’t try to make one yourself unless you’re really good at graphic design. 

4. Get the formatting right.

You’re almost ready to publish, but first you need to format your eBook and print book—You can do this by using the free templates available on Kindle Direct Publishing, you can pay someone to do it, or there are several programs less than $200 that will do this for you. 

5. Now you’re ready! 

There are multiple places to publish, but KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) is super easy to use! Be sure to claim your books on Amazon Author Central, create an author page, then ask readers to follow you. Amazon will let your readers know about preorders and releases. Kindle Unlimited is great for newer authors who are still finding an audience, and readers in KU are more willing to take a chance on new-to-them authors. And finally, use the gifting option on your product page for giveaways on social media. Readers who love your book will tell their friends—never underestimate word of mouth marketing!

New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author Denise Grover Swank lives in Kansas City, Missouri. You can find out more about Denise at www.denisegroverswank.com.

Top photo by Nong V on Unsplash. 

[compusever]

Hi there! Bit of a weird question, and I’m not sure if this is the right blog for this, but… best laptop for privacy? I’m going to go to uni in a year and my parents have said that they’re going to buy me a laptop, which is awesome, except— I don’t know which one to chose? I’ve never had a laptop before but I try to take being private online as seriously as I can, and so I don’t really care… well, like, I do care that the laptop has good storage and works and stuff, but I care mostly about how private it is. Which one supports adding privacy-related stuff the best? Which one steals your data the least? I… am actually not sure what kind of questions I should be asking, since… again, never had a laptop before, and I don’t know what about its make makes it private (other than like general online privacy practices across all devices), so I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for me? Tldr: don’t care about fancy features, just want a laptop that more or less works, but would love privacy to be the main focus. This can sort of come at the expense of convenience - I don’t care it if’s harder to set up, use, etc., so long as I can connect to the internet with it.

So the hardware is pretty agnostic on this, the place where privacy is going to become an issue is in the software.

Windows loves to track you and send your data back to homebase; Apple is a walled garden that doesn't let people get deep into configurations; linux is intimidating for a lot of people.

Your actual best bet on privacy would be to get a laptop with no OS and install a linux distro on it, but it sounds like that's probably not something that's terribly approachable for you. So in that case I'd recommend getting a Windows laptop (mac prices aren't worth it) and going through this list to change the settings to ensure better privacy.

HOWEVER please note that you should be getting a laptop with a full OS. Windows has an option for "windows 11s" or "windows 10s" and first off you should be going with 11 at this point but second that "s" means that there are pretty strict limitations on what you can do as a user in terms of configuration and installation.

If you are willing to pay a bit more for Windows 11 Pro instead of windows 11 Home, the pro license cuts off some of the more annoying tracking that Windows does automatically, but I'd say you're better off simply getting the home license and really digging into the settings and getting to know it and setting it up for yourself.

BUT if it's at all possible, honestly I'd say get a bare metal laptop (that means it's just the hardware, no software, you need to install an operating system before you do anything) and install linux. HOWEVER keep in mind that there are some significant downsides to using linux as a student, mostly that you'll likely run into software at some point that you won't be able to install. Also if you're not already pretty good with computers it can be difficult to keep a linux machine running (but very easy to make it private; that's the tradeoff - you can make it more secure more easily, but you really have to know how to fix your own computer if something goes wrong.)

For your situation, again, I think a Windows 11 Home laptop with the settings adjusted is your best bet.

Absolutely positively don't get a chromebook (you've got no control of the settings on a chromebook and the thing is made to feed information to google) and don't get a mac (you can get better specs on a PC at a lower cost).

For an idea of budget on this, I'd say you can probably get something from Dell, Lenovo, or HP for around $650-1000 dollars that's got decent specs (12th gen or newer i5 processor, 16gb RAM, 512GB SSD) and maybe something more like $500-800 from acer, asus, or samsung. Whatever computer you end up getting, you should get the added drop protection warranty because that means the manufacturer will fix your laptop if you drop it, something that is a bigger deal for college students than most people (because of your environment you're more likely to end up with drop damage than a lot of people AND because you're a college student you probably won't be able to afford to fix or replace the computer)

Good luck!

[everydayfrimmel]

May 31, 2024

The L Word (Love and/or Leaking Roofs and/or Late-Night Cable Television)

1000 words, roommate AU, part 2/?

In university, Frieren wasn't allowed to have a roommate.

Flamme said she was the kind of person who needed a solitary place to return to at the end of the day. She'd been more than happy to cover the increase in rent for Frieren to have a single, although, looking back, this is sort of ironic, because Flamme was also the person who most frequently chewed her out for isolating herself when she was a student. Nevertheless, she had been so strongly dissuaded from trying to live with anyone her own age that she'd never considered it until she was out on her own.

But then she had found a nice, well-paid, people-free post as the head engineer on a wind turbine farm in the absolute middle of nowhere. And then she had needed a place in the middle of nowhere to live. And then the man who's renting the other half of this house had been offering such a good price that she'd thought it was worth the risk of having to share her precious space with someone else.

"Absolutely not," Flamme had said when she pitched the idea, "you have no idea what that guy is like," but she'd changed her tune once she met him the day she helped Frieren move in. Now it practically seems to be her life's mission to make Frieren talk to her roommate.

There's nothing wrong with Himmel, but she doesn't intend to take that advice.

She gathers details, though. He's a teacher, though she doesn't know what grade he teaches. He came out here on some kind of fellowship from the government that pays the living expenses of teachers who are willing to move out into the sticks and teach in rural schools that pay badly. He likes yard work and going for runs, he falls asleep with the TV on, he only knows how to cook three different things, and every time she walks into a room, he looks at her like he's waiting for her to say something. The night after she moved in, he'd bought them both takeout as an attempt at getting to know her, but she can't say that it was the start of anything promising. He's a decent guy who says more than she wants to respond to. That is all.

But she cannot avoid him forever, living in the same house. The decision to watch television even though he's already asleep in the living room with informercials going in the background is one that takes deliberation, but she ultimately decides that it must be worthwhile.

When he wakes, Himmel watches her snake documentary with what seems like rapt fascination. This scores him points.

"Do you, uh, like snakes a lot?" he asks her.

"Not really, but it's the best thing on." She shrugs. "I have always wanted to have a lizard, though."

"A lizard...?"

"A really big one," she specifies.

"Oh. Uh. Cool."

"Have you ever seen an Asian water monitor?"

"Is that a job title...?"

"No, it's a kind of lizard."

"Oh. Uh. Well. No, I can't say I have, then."

"They're really long." She pulls out her phone so she can provide examples of this, at which Himmel nods appreciatively. (Good. At least she's living with somebody who knows and perceives the truth.) "And I wanna get one some day."

"You know, most people want a dog or a cat."

"Sure. I want an Asian water monitor."

"That'd be, uh, that'd be something."

"I want to walk it through town on a leash so people would know to tremble in fear before me."

This is the kind of thing she says that makes Flamme lecture her about needing to stop pushing people away by being strange on purpose. She means no offense to Flamme, who is probably right about her pushing people away and all, but she doesn't think that's a reason to stop enjoying the baffled looks on people's faces when she opens her mouth and says something that makes her sound medically insane.

Poor Flamme was always going to lose that battle. Frieren's favorite response to her own inability to understand how people's brains work, after all, has always been to confuse them right back.

"Sounds like a plan," Himmel replies.

"Eh?"

"I said it sounds like a plan." He smiles, the haze of bewilderment starting to clear from his face. "At least, I mean, I think that'd be pretty funny, what with how tiny you are."

Oh, she thinks, almost in awe, he does get it.

"His name is going to be Megatron."

"Sick name."

"Right?"

"I don't mean to brag or anything, but I think our plot for world domination is pretty good."

"Sure thing." He's really smiling now, and she can't tell whether that's because he's so confused or just because he thinks this is as amusing as she does. She hopes, for reasons currently unascertainable, that it's the latter. "Any chance I could get in on that?"

"Eh?"

"The whole world-domination plot. You got an opening for a minor bureaucrat somewhere in there?" Himmel's laugh is easy, carefree. "I'd be a great minor bureaucrat."

"Why would I take over the world just to make a bureaucracy?" Frieren wrinkles her nose. "Not even a dark overlord could come up with the Vehicular Certification Agency."

Himmel's easy chuckle is quickly turning into something that sounds like an asthma attack. Concerned, and not entirely sure if anything in the world is truly that funny, Frieren stiffly pats his back.

"Sorry," he wheezes. "I just would never have guessed."

"Guessed what?"

"Nothin', nothin'."

"No, what?"

"I dunno, I guess I just thought you were shy."

"I'm not shy, I'm a misanthrope," she informs him. "...is what Flamme says."

"You call your mom by her first name?"

"She's not my mom."

"Eh?"

"She's my legal guardian. So yes, first names are appropriate."

"Oh."

"And she doesn't actually mean I'm a misanthrope, she just jokes about it."

"I, uh, I see."

"She's where I get my megalomania and comic timing."

He doubles over wheezing all over again at that. This guy really needs to get a handle on himself or he's going to end up blowing out a lung.

But, even when he can't stop laughing, she does not hate the sound of it.

[fayeandknight]

Buying a car is bullshit

I am very seriously trying to buy a new (to me) car.

I need a bigger car to fit crates in since that will allow me to transport more dogs for boarding. I have opted to go the used route for a number of reasons.

After much research, input from some super helpful dogblr folks as well as coworkers, and some dragging my feet - I'm ready. I'm looking to buy a 2018 Toyota RAV4 XLE.

I found one being sold at a fair price given the low mileage and went to see it last Saturday. It was a trade in at a BMW dealership. When they brought it out I was a little taken back because it's pretty dinged up. Not to the point of hindering functionally but there are dents and scrapes on every panel and fixing it would $1000 in body work easily, if not more.

Honestly, I don't give a shit about cosmetics. This car is for hauling dogs around. But it would be silly to pretend it doesn't change the value of the car.

I noticed that the front tires were different from the rear tires and asked about it. Sales dude tells me they replaced the front ones because the originals were dry rotted. I asked if the mechanic measured the new vs the old because AWD can be sensitive and different widths can fuck it up. Sales dude tells yes, it's all on paper. Cool.

I take it for a test drive and notice the brakes are a little rough. I ask if the brake pads were inspected to see how worn they are. Sales dude assures me yes, the car passed inspection and they're fine. Am told, again, it's all on paper.

Once we're back at the dealership I ask him to please get me the info on the tires and brakes cause I'm ready to make a deal and buy the car. Sales dude asks for my price and I tell him my offer is contingent on the information so please get it. Guy comes back with a manager and oops, they don't actually have that info.

Which honestly really pissed me off. You lied to my face and what? Didn't think you'd get caught not having the very specific information I'm asking for? I don't know why I expected slightly less car sales bullshit from a higher end dealership but the jokes on me.

I leave with the agreement that on Monday (today) they'll have the mechanic get the info and call me promptly at X time. An hour and a half later, I ended up leaving them a voicemail.

Finally got on the phone with them, tires are fine but the brake pads are just this side of passing and I'll need to change them fairly quickly. Fine. Given the body work and brakes, not to mention all the fluid changes I'll need to do, I put in my offer - a little less than $1000 off listed price. This puts the car at just my side of a good deal rather than fair, but honestly not by much.

They eventually accept my offer. Awesome. I am ready to pay over the phone. No. They won't take the payment over the phone or even a deposit. I have to come buy it in person.

In an ideal world, I'd go Thursday morning and get it done before work since that's my late day. But I'm concerned about the time wasting tactics dealerships use to try to get people to "upgrade" packages. I am trialing Friday and Saturday.

That leaves my only actual day with time to spare next Monday. During the in between they will not hold the car for me or pull it from their listings.

It so fucking frustrating that a high end, fancy ass BMW dealership is giving me the run around for a busted up six year old Toyota that I am willing to pay for right now!

So, fingers crossed it's still there next week and I'm able to buy it. If not, oh well I guess. There's really not anything else I can do at this point. It's just annoying because if they had the information they said they did I'd have bought the car right then.

Anyway, let this be your reminder to not take car sales folks word for anything and make them show you on paper. They will lie right to your face and blame you for holding up the sale.

[addictedtostorytelling]

Greetings! You can call me the cheesy anonymous, after watching too many romantic movies today I have a question about GSR, do you think that if Sara had taken the leave of absence Grissom would eventually go after her, or do you think that Sara would simply end up married to someone else? Eugene Onegin style (I don't know if you know the book or the movie but I recommend both lol)

hi cheesy anon!

i love pushkin!

so my short answers to your questions are: a) i think grissom's willingness to go after sara if she left town would depend on whether or not he had reason to believe she, despite her hurt feelings, still ultimately wanted him in her life or not, and, b) i don't think sara would be likely to marry anyone besides grissom, even if she did leave town and he never chased after her.

my much longer (and more rambling) answers are after the "keep reading," if you're interested.

__

so the thing about sara’s request for the leave of absence in episode 02x15 “burden of proof” is it 1000% blindsides grissom.

ever since sara’s move to vegas, he has been under the impression they are on the same page regarding the reality of their situation—namely, he believes they both understand that for as long as he is her boss and she his subordinate, the feelings they both have for each other by necessity must go on the backburner, the consolation being they still get to work together and enjoy each other’s company professionally, even though they cannot share a private life outside of the lab.

because he believes they are both similarly resigned to (and even somewhat contented with) their status quo, until sara’s request shows up on his desk, grissom has no idea she is even contemplating leaving las vegas. then, even once he receives her request, until she comes into his office to talk with him, he has no notion of what might have caused her to want to leave.

the twin revelations she makes to him—i.e., she wants to leave and the reason why she feels the need to is because of him—deliver double blows to grissom’s entire understanding of his world.

not only is sara unhappy in vegas, but she is specifically unhappy because of him!

he had no clue.

as i talk about here,

[during the early seasons of the show, despite his desire to be with her in a more traditional way,] grissom contents himself with only having sara’s company at work and even treating their professional relationship like a quasi-dating situation while otherwise keeping her at arm’s length.  sara is, essentially, his work girlfriend, and that arrangement works for him.  he can flirt with her when he likes (as long as things don’t get too personal); he can occasionally walk arm-in-arm with her around their crime scenes; they can trade trivia and jokes; he can pay attention to her and make her smile; she can emotionally support him and calm him down when he’s upset (see episodes 01x19 “gentle, gentle” and 02x05 “scuba doobie-doo”); he can show her off to his superiors (see episode 03x02 “the accused is entitled”); they can share weirdly intimate moments (see episode 01x10 “sex, lies, & larvae”); etc.; etc. really, they can do everything short of going home together.  but whenever things get too intense, he can also shut their interactions down at a moment’s notice. he can maintain his space, go off by himself, even turn his attentions—fleetingly and superficially—to other women, like teri miller (see here).  nothing he’s willing to do with sara endangers his career. they toe that line between coworkers and significant others, and they keep everything relatively clean that way. furthermore, he’s able to (to some extent) “have her” without fear he will lose her. if he never lets her get too close to him, she won’t see his flaws, and she won’t reject him; she’ll stay with him, almost happily, forever.  sure, in his heart of hearts, grissom very much yearns to extend his and sara’s relationship to all spheres of his life (see his original scripted monologue from episode 04x12 “butterflied”), and, certainly, on a subconscious level, he realizes he is dissatisfied with the status quo between himself and sara, particularly when she dates hank peddigrew during s2 and s3.  in a better world, in a better life, where grissom could be sure sara would love him forever and he could know he was actually good enough for her, he would want to be the man she came home to after shift. he would want them to share everything. to be everything for each other. but in this world, their arrangement mostly works for him. it mostly meets his needs. —and, because it does, he remains generally oblivious to the fact that things aren’t working out this way for sara…  [before sara puts in her request for a leave of absence,] grissom thinks he and sara have a fine thing going on, but, apparently, she is unhappy. this realization affronts grissom and also heightens his insecurities. it never occurred to him sara might actively search out something more than what he was offering her; the fact she has scares him, because it means there is a possibility he might lose her.

—which is an assumption he’s not at all wrong in making.

as i talk about here, sara’s request for the leave of absence has little to actually do with her wanting to pursue other career opportunities, and it also is never intended to be a temporary thing, even for all her hedging to grissom about “six months” or “a year”:

honestly, when sara puts in the request for the leave of absence, it isn’t even really that she wants to work for the fbi*; it’s that she is upset by the current state of her and grissom’s relationship. * maybe at some point before she started working for the lvpd, she might have been interested in perhaps working in the federal system. but afterward, not really. she’s just saying that she is because she doesn’t know what else to do re: her impasse with grissom. she moved to vegas with the expectation they would be a couple, but after a year and a half living there and working under him, not only are they not in a romantic relationship but he is acting more aloof from her than ever. as i talk about here, for him, the hamburger is just hamburger, but for her, it’s more. he’s looking at their conflict, thinking, “okay, so i’m working on an experiment involving raw hamburger, and sara comes in when i’m already mostly done with it. i don’t have time to slow down because the case is hot, so i ask her to handle the clean-up so i can move on to the next thing, which is something 100% within my purview to do, as i am her supervisor, and she’s my subordinate. she gets upset about the assignment i’ve given her because it disagrees with her personal sensibilities, which—okay, whatever. i don’t really get it, because to me science is science, but not touching raw meat if she doesn’t want to is her prerogative, i guess, so i tell her she can have nick deal with the clean-up instead. to me, that’s the long and short of the matter, but to her, it must not be, because the next thing i know, she’s putting in a request for a leave of absence, accusing me of not respecting her. did the hamburger really offend her that badly? i don’t understand why she’s so upset.” meanwhile, she’s looking at it, thinking, “i moved to las vegas believing when i got here, grissom and i would be a couple. obviously, things haven’t panned out that way, though. since i’m a big girl, i’ve tried to deal with the disappointment—to play by grissom’s rules and respect his boundaries, holding out hope maybe someday he’ll change his mind, yes, but not pushing him into anything or giving voice to my heartache. i get why he has trepidations, of course. i get what’s at stake for him. and that’s why i don’t lobby for more than he’s willing to give. i feel like so far i’ve been pretty good about adapting to the reality of our situation. still. that’s not to say it doesn’t hurt when he’s callous with me—when he treats me like there was never anything between us, even though we both know that’s not true. for a year and a half now, i’ve stood by, making the best of his mood swings. some days, he treats me like i annoy the hell out of him, to the point where i wonder why he even keeps me on the team. but other days, he’s back to being prince charming, giving me all sorts of reasons to hope. honestly, the whole runaround is exhausting, and i wish he would come down one way or the other all of the time. this raw hamburger debacle is just the latest and worst in a string of slaps in the face from him. we shared that night watching over the pig carcass together last year, and i thought it was a big deal, that it meant something to both of us. but now he can’t even be assed to remember it, and he can’t be assed to even respect me as a person. i memorize and analyze and overanalyze and pore over every little exchange that passes between us. i live and die by how he treats me, weathering the bad days, living for the good. but obviously that’s not how things are for him. obviously, i’m not that important in his eyes. it’s probably time for me to recognize that discrepancy. i can’t keep waiting around for him to figure things out. i’ve got to do something to clear my head and get over him once and for all.”

so.

she originally claims she wants to get away for six months or a year, but, honestly, she only says so in the hopes of avoiding a confrontation.

the real truth comes out when grissom confronts her anyhow, pushing back against her stated reasons for her request. backed up into the proverbial corner, she reveals she isn’t actually leaving to pursue federal employment; she’s trying to run away from him because being in his presence is just too painful for her to handle anymore. eventually, she lets slip: it doesn’t matter if he either lets her go or doesn’t; she will leave either with his permission or without, and once she does so she has no intention of coming back.

she's trying to make a clean break here—which is exactly what she cannot do so long as she is “trapped in grissom’s gravity” in vegas.

for almost two years now, he’s refused to make a clear-cut decision on them, so she’s making it for him.

of course, the difficulty with this conversation—and, indeed, with all gsr communication pre-s5—is grissom and sara aren’t fully at liberty to come out and say exactly what they mean, on a practical level because they’re at work and can’t risk being overheard and on a personal one because they both fear giving voice to their deepest feelings, lest they be rejected.

instead, they have to hedge around the issue, avoiding any talk of their pre-vegas relationship (in whatever form it may have taken), their mutual feelings, their hopes and their fears regarding each other, etc., couching their every exchange in professional language. they cannot call a spade a spade—or in this case, a romantic connection a romantic connection. though they’re talking about deeply personal issues, they can’t directly refer to just how personal they are.

the number one rule is they can’t say the l-word.

even though sara is essentially trying to tell grissom his capricious behavior with her is tying her heart up in knots, she can’t use those exact words or even any words adjacent to them. rather, she is left to stammer and hem about how she needs a work environment with communication and respect and remind grissom (obliquely) the problem “isn’t just about [her].”

and in the wake of her revelation, grissom can’t beg her to stay because he needs her; instead, he is forced to substitute the safer but less emotionally honest “the lab.”

so without sara being able to come out and say directly how she feels grissom has been jerking her around by the heart for the last year and half, all she can do is vaguely gesture to her confusion and upset and hope grissom understands.

and he does, to some extent—obviously enough to later see the sense in catherine’s advice and send out the olive branch green plant.

but that’s not necessarily to say he understands the full nuance of sara’s feelings.

how could he, when she isn’t able to articulate them?

while he gets the gist, there is likely a lot still lost on him—especially because he is only now for the first time realizing what an untenable position he has put her in and how miserable she is.

all of the above so, i tend to believe in any situation where sara were to ask for a leave of absence, grissom, in his shock at her request, would try to ascertain her motivations for seeking such a leave.

and if he did so, she would always end up leveling the same (veiled) accusations at him she does in the canon episode—admitting she feels disrespected by him, the problem isn’t just some one-off thing but rather is indicative of a larger pattern of behavior over time, she needs to get away from him, etc.

as in canon, grissom would always be blindsided by these revelations and not know how to respond to sara in the moment, and she would always storm off, issuing her “either grant me the leave or i'll quit” ultimatum.

at that point, grissom would always understand he was in danger not just of losing her to the fbi for six months to a year but of losing her to his own romantic ineptitude forever.

in the canonical episode, within hours of his and sara’s confrontation in his office, catherine drunkenly nudges grissom into figuring out a way to show sara he cares. right away, he gifts sara the green plant, thereby proving to her he does pay attention to her and have feelings for her beyond just their working relationship. the gesture flies with her. she opts to remain at the lab. grissom then spends the rest of s2 doting on her (albeit still solely at work).

seriously, the tail end of s2 is like a full gsr romcom.

however, even if catherine hadn’t intervened, i still think grissom would’ve realized what hot water he was in and would have tried—however clumsily—to “win sara back,” if he could.

maybe he wouldn’t have sent her a green plant, but he would have tried to do something to convince her not to go.

i don’t think he would have full-on confessed his feelings to her—because at that point, he wasn’t ready to face the consequences for them, either professionally or personally—but he would have done something to show her he was not indifferent to her or their relationship, and in so doing, he would have continued what is a very common pattern of behavior for him during the early seasons of the show.

as i talk about here:

we see a situation during s1 and s2 where grissom perpetuates a kind of cycle with sara, over and over again:

1. first he gets close to her (because that’s what his heart and his instincts are telling him to do). 2. then once he becomes cognizant of how close he actually is to her—which is something that tends to happen when sara makes some kind of move or gesture in acknowledgment of and/or response to their closeness—he panics, realizing that he is coming up against a line he dares not cross. 3. at that point, he retracts from sara emotionally/socially, trying desperately to reassert professional boundaries between them. 4. however, seldom does he manage to do so gracefully, and so he typically ends up hurting her feelings in the process. 5. of course, since he’s still in love with her, once he realizes he’s hurt her feelings, he can’t stand to leave things that way, so then he attempts to make amends, acting very sweet and attentive to her to cheer her up and win back her affections. 6. from that point, one thing leads to another, and pretty soon, he’s getting close to her again (because that’s what his heart and his instincts tell him is right). 7. the cycle then repeats again from there.

now, whether or not sara would have ultimately forgiven grissom and chosen to remain in vegas due to whatever gesture he made toward her (see step #5 of the pattern) would largely depend on whatever that gesture were and how genuine she felt he was in making it.

in canon, the green plant gesture does the trick, not only because of what it signifies (i.e., grissom does actually pay close attention to her and her needs, despite occasional appearances to the contrary) but also because it is made so promptly, before sara can actually pack up her apartment and move to virginia.

so let’s say in this au grissom doesn’t send sara a plant just hours after she puts in her request but instead does something somewhat less demonstrative somewhat later.

maybe in such a case, a weaker gesture so late in coming might not soothe sara’s hurt feelings.

maybe then she might still feel the need to leave.

grissom would then be posed with a not-actually-a-choice choice, per sara’s ultimatum: to either grant her leave request, knowing despite its trappings of temporariness, it would nevertheless be a permanent development; or to have her flat-out quit, admitting the permanency of the situation from the get-go.

and, of course, for as socially obtuse as grissom may sometimes be, i don’t think the bottom line of the situation would be lost on him.

even without fully understanding all of the ins and outs of sara’s upset, he could infer well enough her leaving was never actually about pursuing other career opportunities; it was always about getting away from him.

now.

eventually, from the end of s4 to mid-s5, grissom finds himself facing a similar “either prove to sara you love her once and for all or risk losing her forever” type of situation—which begins when he recognizes her downward spiral during the events of episode 04x23 “bloodlines” and comes to a head in episode 05x13 “nesting dolls,” when he comes under pressure to fire her due to her insubordinate workplace behavior—and, in that case, he is able to finally summon his courage, make the grand gesture, and, in sara’s own words, “just be there for [her].”

so the question then becomes: could he do the same thing three seasons earlier, during the events of episode 02x15 “burden of proof,” were he faced with the prospect of sara leaving vegas permanently?

i mean, his love for her is the same in both circumstances, right?

however, one variable which differs considerably is his level of confidence in sara’s desire to have him.

in s5, the grissom who shows up at sara’s apartment, wearing his heart on his sleeve, ready to take on ecklie and catherine for her sake, in episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” is also a grissom who, one month earlier in show time, has sara more or less tell him (in so many words) she is still in love with him and open to a relationship with him in episode 05x12 “snakes.”

and the same is not true of the grissom in episode 02x15 “burden of proof.”

that grissom is one who has just had the love of his life confront him with accusations of poor communication and disrespect, to the point where she wants to move across the country to get away from him.

her words echo many of his deepest fears concerning himself: i.e., he is “insufficiently human,” harmful to the people he cares about due to his social ineptitudes, innately selfish, etc.

that so, i tend to think, in this situation, unlike in s5, grissom might be more inclined to just let sara go—not because he wanted to but because he felt he didn’t have the right to try to stop her.

while he might not have a full view of what exactly he had done to hurt her, he can sense he has hurt her—and because he can, he would be disposed to believe sara probably wants nothing to do with him going forward.

she's come into his office and told him she feels he has mistreated her and she needs to get away from him.

and his inclination in the absence of reassurance from her to the contrary would be to take her at her word—to let her go, because that’s obviously what she wants from him at this point (after he’s so wounded her), right?

of course, the irony is, sara doesn’t actually want to leave and never see grissom again.

what she would prefer is he simply change his behavior and embrace his love for her, becoming transparent in his feelings. she's only “running away” because she believes that possibility is off the table.

we can deduce as much from the fact that, in canon, the second grissom does something to prove he actually cares for her (i.e., sends her the green plant), she stops trying to leave vegas immediately—and, in fact, her leave of absence never gets mentioned again.

all she truly needs from grissom in order to feel secure is some sign from him that she’s not just imagining his feelings for her.

—it’s just in s2, in a situation where grissom would feel fairly certain he had already ruined everything with sara by disrespecting her and failing to communicate with her at work, i think grissom would be disinclined to call her bluff, again, not because he wanted to see her go, but because he was too scared to chase after her, fearing she would reject him.

in episode 05x13 “nesting dolls,” he is able to do the brave thing both because his care for sara’s needs supersedes his fears AND because he feels confident she does actually want him to pursue her (despite their to that point tumultuous history).

in mid-s2, the same might not be true.

so.

in all likelihood, if things got to the point where whatever initial gesture he had made had failed to pacify her and she really was ready to leave town, without some intervention—like drunken catherine telling him to get off his ass and do something, a la canon—grissom might just let sara quit after all.

and if he did?

it would probably take some kind of act of god to make him go to her after she left town—again, not because he wouldn’t miss her desperately, be heartbroken over his loss of her, want to be with her, etc., but because he would feel unwanted.

he would reason, “well, she wanted to leave and she left. she told me she didn’t want to be around me anymore. who am i to impose on her? she’s trying to make a clean break, and the least i can do is let her do so, given the way i've so obviously mistreated her.”

the only way he might wise up and change his mind is if something happened to make him realize sara did still want him after all—like with the classic romcom fourth act trope, he found some proof of her lingering feelings for him, which incontrovertibly established she had only ever skipped town because she felt rejected by him, not because she had been rejecting him herself.

think sara watching the exit interview tape at the end of “immortality,” but reversed.

then he might get on a plane.

then he might make the grand gesture.

and at that point, it would have to be grand—not just a green plant but an invitation to finally live “the beautiful life” they both had always dreamed of, to return to vegas not just as his employee but as his girlfriend.

now.

as for the second half of your question, with regards to sara, i don’t think she would likely be married to someone else, no matter how long it had been since she and grissom had parted ways.

to my mind, the only person sara sidle would ever even consider marrying is gil grissom.

otherwise, given her family history and views on the transactive nature of weddings, i don’t think she would ever be open to tying the knot with anyone else.

he is the one exception to what is otherwise a hard rule for her.

and once her "experiment" of opening her heart to him and considering a marital commitment had, in her eyes, failed, she would be disinclined to ever try again with someone else; not when making herself vulnerable that way had so badly backfired on her before.

that said, if enough time had passed since she had left vegas before grissom wised up and went after her, she could theoretically be in a relationship (and even a long-term one) with someone else.

i mean, after all, she does canonically date hank peddigrew—for over a year!—in an effort to get over grissom, so it stands to reason she might do the same in a scenario where she had moved away from vegas expressly to romantically “start anew.”

if she did end up with the fbi, maybe she might meet some nice hunky agent and hit it off with him.

and maybe if he were uninquisitive regarding her past—more on that point below—she might even stay with him for a long while.

even so.

i don’t think it’d be the kind of deal where she’d be at all torn about dumping her boyfriend to go back to nevada with grissom when and if he turned up, just given the way she tends to operate.

see, the thing about sara is she has intimacy issues of her own. prior to her confession to grissom in episode 05x13 “nesting dolls,” she has literally never told anyone about her family history, and she never really intends to. the fact that she doesn’t—and, moreover, won’t even discuss anything even remotely adjacent to her family history at all, including anything to do with the first 18+ years of her life—makes for some ~weirdness~ in her romantic relationships.

as i talk about here,

outside of with grissom, sara tends to form shallow—mostly physical—relationships with good-looking guys to whom she does not very deeply relate, either on an intellectual level or a personal one. her mo seems to be “find somebody who’s pretty to look at and not altogether intolerable. stay with him until he disappoints you, and then move on. wash, rinse, repeat.” one might look at this pattern and say that sara simply has poor relationship skills (or, as warrick quips in episode 07x17 “fallen idols,” bad taste in men), but while that observation isn’t untrue, i think there’s more to the issue than perhaps first meets the eye. in episode 05x13 “nesting dolls,” sara mentions that she tends to “choose men who are emotionally unavailable”—and my thought is that she does so in order to protect herself from having to be vulnerable with them, and specifically so she won’t have to talk about her past... not just with hank, but with her college boyfriend, doug wilson, and taylor wynard, as well, sara chooses men who are emotionally unavailable as a safeguard against having to become emotionally intimate and/or disclose her past. she so fears anyone who were to learn the truth about her childhood and family history would reject and think badly of her she preemptively prevents this from happening by choosing to partner with men who are only too happy to keep their relationships with her at the surface level and based mostly on sex. grissom is where sara deviates from this pattern—first of all, in that her relationship with him, for a long time, isn’t sexual and yet is almost weirdly emotionally intimate, even without the sex; secondly, in that she eventually comes to trust grissom enough she is willing to disclose to him and tell him all of her secrets in a way she never has with anyone else, even at a time before they are technically dating, when their relationship is still nebulous.

because outside of her relationship with grissom, sara tends to purposefully initiate romantic relationships which are inherently shallow and remains purposefully evasive with her romantic partners regarding her past, i tend to think it would be difficult for her to form a serious relationship of the kind she would be reluctant to part ways from, were grissom to suddenly become a viable romantic option for her.

she might be dating a guy she liked when grissom came to town.

but loved? doubtful.

and loved enough to choose over grissom? no way.

grissom is really the only person she ever feels compelled to tell her full life story to—and she only does so with him because they have such an instantaneous, soul-deep connection; i.e., because she falls in love with him so immediately and completely she feels compelled to break what are otherwise some very unbreakable rules for her.

just as sara is the one person who could ever motivate grissom to deviate from his comfortable patterns, placing his career and his heart on the line, grissom is the one person who could ever motivate sara to tell the truth about her past.

he's really her only exception.

her one in seven billion.

so the likelihood she would ever even consider staying with mr. virginia would just be incredibly low—not if gil grissom turned up at her door, apologizing for his past missteps and demonstrating he was really, truly ready to be with her in the way she had always dreamt of.

now.

if grissom never wised up and came looking for her, could she in theory stay with mr. virginia—or whatever state she ended up settling in—in the long term, even if she might not marry him?

honestly, it would depend on how much space he gave her within their relationship.

if he was content never to know any biographical details about her prior to when she was college-age and never pushed to meet her parents or got curious about some of her particular personality quirks (like why she gets so cagey after working domestic violence cases, say), then she could probably stay with him contented-ishly for quite some time, settling because why the hell not? as long as the sex was good and he wasn’t an ass, he’d be better than nothing, right? even if he weren’t grissom.

true, she would never likely love him, and she would have no intention to ever open up to him of her own volition. but she could make do for a long time, insofar as he made no attempts to “break down her walls” or catch glimpse of all those parts of her she would prefer to keep secret.

of course, few people—aside from manipulators like hank peddigrew—are willing to remain in long-term relationships with people they know next to nothing about, and especially not with the relationship itself remaining largely superficial, based more on sex and shared activities than actual emotional connections.

most booty calls (even glorified ones) come with expiration dates.

as grissom and sara themselves discuss in episode 09x02 “the happy place,” relationships in stasis wither.

at some point, there has to be forward motion.

so most likely, at some point, this boyfriend would start asking sara to tell him more about how she grew up or would push her to take him “home” to meet mom and dad or would realize how seriously traumatized she was and would want to know by what.

and, like i said, i just tend to think sara would only ever be disposed to unveil herself to someone she was already in love with.

and in a world where she had already met grissom, loved grissom, and lost him, well—

even in his absence, i don’t know she would ever have it in her to fall in love with anyone else again, no matter how nice the guy were or how genuine his feelings for her.

hell, i don't even think she would ever actually get over grissom; she would still be in love with him, even given how he had broken her heart.

so if her boyfriend tried to get her to talk, she’d probably break up with him or else do something to sabotage the relationship.

and that would be the end of things.

she might then move on to someone else.

but the same pattern would play out again and again; her refusal to share the intimate details of herself would limit the viability of her long-term romantic relationships.

so ultimately if grissom never came looking for her, i think she’d end up alone.

of course, the good news is, i tend to think the likelihood of things ever getting to this point—of grissom “allowing” sara to leave vegas and then never going after her—is incredibly low.

once he realized sara’s seriousness about leaving (and her reasons for wanting to do so), grissom was always going to at least make an attempt to keep her from leaving.

and just like in canon with the green plant, i think if he could just find it in himself to show care for her (even without an admission of love or entry into a committed relationship), he could earn her forgiveness and convince her to stay.

because that’s the thing: ultimately, sara never wants to leave.

she wants a reason to stay.

and all he has to do is give one to her.

anyway.

i'm rambling now.

i hope i at least somewhat answered your question.

please feel welcome to send another one any time!

[sloanerisette]

Sloane Writes It - Writing Commissions

Hi everyone!

I'm currently going through some rough financial struggles because of medical stuff and insurance, so I'm opening up writing commissions! Have you enjoyed my work and want me to write something for you? Do you want some smut and need someone to manifest it for you? Good news! I'm here to do that for YOU!

Here are all the details you need to know!

All prices are in USD

Rate is 1.2 cents per word. This totals out to $12 for 1000 words, $24 for 2000 words, $60 for 5000 words, and so on.

Original fiction and series/fandoms I am unfamiliar with work at a rate of 1.5 cents per word.

For something I am unfamiliar with, I promise I will research characters, relationships, and dynamics to the best of my ability, but as a result, it may take longer to get your story to you.

All commissions may take anywhere from 1 week to 1 month.

Payment will happen after I finish your story. I will reach out with an invoice with the exact word count, and upon receiving payment, I will send you your story as a PDF.

Commissions can be kept private on request, otherwise are permitted to be posted on my AO3 or elsewhere.

When reaching out, please pitch your idea (setting, characters, upper range of words you would want, and general idea). As a note, a particularly dense story idea might need to have a longer word count, be split into multiple parts, or pared down in scale if you want a specific word count.

If I don’t feel comfortable with an idea for any reason, I will turn it down. However, you’re free to send another idea my way! While I am pretty open there are still some things I might not want to write, but that does not mean I’ll turn down all ideas from you!

All of these apply to SFW and N*S*F*W stories

If you want something other than a story (maybe help conceptualizing a character or setting, or writing a oneshot for a tabletop campaign as examples), I will be able/willing to work with you still, but it might require more time or a different pay rate.

Writing Specifics

Here’s just a few noted specifics in terms of genres, fandoms, and other things that I prefer to write or am best at writing (by no means should you let these limit you when commissioning)!

Fandoms: Digimon, Pokemon, Marvel (please ask regarding specific characters, settings, etc.), TWEWY, Persona (3-5), Fire Emblem (7, 8, Awakening, Three Houses, Engage), Danganronpa (1 & 2), G-Witch, Life is Strange 1, Dungeon Meshi, Sound! Euphonium, Armored Core 6

Genres: Romance, Slice of Life, Action, Science Fiction, Fantasy

If inquiring about a N*S*F*W story, please let me know whether you want a focus on plot or not. With plot will lead to a longer word count, but a bigger buildup to the acts, alongside a greater focus on the characters and their relationship/dynamic, while without plot will be much shorter, to the point, and with more of a focus on the act than the characters.

I will write M/F, F/F, and M/M stories. Trans characters are ALWAYS open to be written, as well as making characters trans.

Examples

Emblazoned With Divinity: Fire Emblem: Awakening smutfic focused on Chrom and Olivia. Set before the end of the Gangrel arc, this fic explores the whirlwind romance between the two, including carriage breaking sex and character accurate awkwardness.

Chimera Eggs/Elf With Semen Glaze: Dungeon Meshi smutfic focused on Marcille and Chimera!Falin. An AU from the series itself, trans!Falin takes her girlfriend away from the party, going into heat, and impregnating her with eggs.

At The End Of The Day: Post-series Gundam: The Witch From Mercury fic focused on Suletta, Miorine, and Eri. While at home, Eri relentlessly teases Miorine, leading to frustration from her and laughter from her wife.

You Never Forget Your First Time: AU Life is Strange smutfic focused on Max and Chloe. During an afternoon alone, trans!Max and Chloe decide to share their first time together, and have intense oral sex.

Take Back The True Mask: Persona 5 AU fic with Joker as a trans woman. This fic is part of a series recontextualizing Persona 5 through the lens of Joker being a trans woman, while this fic in particular focuses on the Third Semester arc with Joker being the one pulled into Maruki’s reality.

What You Are To Me: Digimon fic set between Last Evolution Kizuna and The Beginning focused on Kari and Yolei. With her best friend frequently away from Japan while studying abroad, Kari feels herself losing the connection they hold dear, and Yolei shows her there’s nothing to worry about.

A Voice On The Ice: Armored Core 6 fic set during the Ice Worm mission, focused on C-621/Raven and Ayre. During the mission to take down the Ice Worm, Raven speaks her first words in a long time, and Ayre loves the sound of her voice, no matter how rough it is.