#foods toxic to parrots

[tiktokparrot]

How to Know if Your Parrot is Allergic to Certain Foods!

Is your parrot scratching, sneezing, or showing other signs of allergy? Learn how to identify and manage food allergies in your feathered friend. Discover tips for a healthier and happier parrot.

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Reptilia - Psittaciformes

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Our next order of birds are the Psittaciformes, commonly called “psittacines” or “parrots”. Psittaciformes contain the families Cacatuidae (“cockatoos”), Psittacidae (“holotropical parrots”), Psittrichasiidae (“black parrots” and “vasa parrots”), Psittaculidae (“Old World parrots”), and Strigopidae (“New Zealand parrots”).

Parrots are some of the most well known and recognized tropical birds. They have large, strong, sharply downcurved beaks, an upright stance, and clawed, zygodactyl feet (two toes facing forward and two back). They are the only animals that display true tripedalism, using their beak as an extra limb to generate propulsive forces equal to or greater than those generated by the limbs of primates when climbing vertical surfaces. They travel with cyclical tripedal gaits when climbing. Along with corvids, they are considered the most intelligent birds, and are able to use tools, solve puzzles, and mimic human speech; some have been shown to even associate meaning to human words. Most parrots feed on plant material like seeds, nuts, fruit, and buds. Some species eat small animals, eggs, and/or carrion, and lories and lorikeets are specialized for feeding on nectar and fruit juice. Parrots are found on all tropical and subtropical continents and regions including Australia and Oceania, South Asia, Southeast Asia, Central America, South America, and Africa, with the greatest diversity coming from Australasia and South America.

Most parrots are social animals which live in large flocks, and hold no territories other than their nesting sites. All are monogamous, and the pair bonds of the parrots and cockatoos are strong, with a pair remaining close during the nonbreeding season even if they join larger flocks. Almost all parrots nest in cavities such as tree hollows or termite mounds. In most cases, both parents excavate the nest, though in many, only the female incubates the eggs while the male brings her food and guards the nest. Their young are altricial, hatched naked and helpless.

A single 15 mm (0.6 in) fragment from a large lower bill (UCMP 143274), found in deposits from the Lance Creek Formation had been thought to be the oldest parrot fossil, having originated from the Late Cretaceous period. However, this fossil is more likely to have come from a parrot-like caenagnathid oviraptorosaur. It is still generally assumed that the Psittaciformes were present during the K-Pg extinction, 66 million years ago, with modern parrots evolving in the Eocene, around 50 million years ago.

Propaganda under the cut:

A large macaw can have a bite force of 35 kg/cm2 (500 lb/sq in), close to that of a large dog.

Most species are capable of using their feet to manipulate food and other objects with a high degree of dexterity, in a similar manner to a human using their hands. A study conducted with Australian parrots has demonstrated that they exhibit "handedness", a distinct preference with regards to the foot they use to pick up food, with adult parrots being almost exclusively "left-footed" or "right-footed", and with the prevalence of each preference within the population varying by species.

Parrots eat a lot of seeds, and in many cases where they are seen consuming fruit, they are actually just eating the fruit to get at the seed. As seeds often have poisons that protect them, parrots will carefully remove seed coats and other chemically defended fruit parts prior to ingestion. Many species in the Americas, Africa, and Papua New Guinea also consume clay, which releases minerals and absorbs toxic compounds from the gut.

The large, nocturnal, flightless Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus) (see gif above) is the heaviest parrot, weighing around 4.0 kg (8.8 lb). They are world’s only living flightless parrots, having evolved in New Zealand where they did not have to worry about land predators. Today, the Kākāpō is critically endangered, due to the introduction of mammalian predators like domestic cats, rats, domestic ferrets, and stoats. The current total known population of living individuals is 244, with all known individuals being named and tagged.

The Kea (Nestor notabilis) (image 4), also from New Zealand, is the only alpine parrot, living in the forested and alpine regions of the South Island. Kea are known for their intelligence and curiosity, both vital to their survival in a harsh mountain environment. Kea can solve logical puzzles, such as pushing and pulling things in a certain order to get to food, and will work together to achieve objectives. They have been filmed preparing and using tools. Their natural curiosity and urge to explore and investigate makes this bird both a pest for residents and an attraction for tourists, and they are known to play with (and damage) backpacks, boots, skis, snowboards, and cars. They are known to “steal” unguarded items of clothing, car keys, passports, and rubber parts of cars. Unfortunately, this naturally curious and trusting behavior has led to the endangered bird being illegally killed by poachers in some instances.

Some parrots are active predators of other animals. Golden-winged Parakeets (Brotogeris chrysoptera) prey on aquatic snails. The bulk of the Yellow-tailed Black Cockatoo’s (Zanda funerea) diet consists of grubs. While the Kea’s main source of protein is carrion, it also uncommonly preys on Domestic Sheep (Ovis aries), as well as other birds (including shearwater chicks), and small mammals (including rabbits and mice). Another New Zealand parrot, the Antipodes Parakeet (Cyanoramphus unicolor) is known to prey on adult Grey-backed Storm Petrels (Garrodia nereis) by entering their burrows while they incubate their eggs.

Lories, lorikeets (tribe Loriini), Hanging Parrots (genus Loriculus), and Swift Parrots (Lathamus discolor) are primarily nectar and pollen eaters, having adaptations specifically for this diet, including tongues with brush-like tips.

The Carolina Parakeet (Conuropsis carolinensis) is an extinct species of conure that was once native to the Eastern, Midwest, and Plains states of the United States. It was the only indigenous parrot within its range, and one of only three parrot species native to the United States (the only remaining is the Green Parakeet [Psittacara holochlorus] in some parts of Texas, while the Thick-billed Parrot [Rhynchopsitta pachyrhyncha] has since been extirpated from the US). Carolina Parakeets were hunted, both for the decorative use of their colorful feathers in women's hats, and for reduction of crop predation. Deforestation in the 18th and 19th centuries also likely played a significant role. They were also captured for the pet trade and competed for nest sites with the introduced European Honeybee (Apis mellifera). The last confirmed sighting in the wild of a Carolina Parakeet was in 1910. The last known specimen, a male named Incas, died at the age of 33 at the Cincinnati Zoo in 1918, and the species was declared extinct in 1939.

The endangered El Oro Parakeet (Pyrrhura orcesi) is one of the few parrot species known to breed cooperatively. One breeding pair may be accompanied by up to six helpers.

The Golden Parakeet (Guaruba guarouba) (image 3) is the only other parrot known to breed cooperatively, and they may also be polygamous breeders, with multiple females contributing to a clutch.

The Monk Parakeet (Myiopsitta monachus) is one of the very few parrots known to build a nest, and even among them it is unique. Monk Parakeets breed colonially, building a single huge nest, with separate entrances for each pair. These colonies can become quite large, with pairs occupying separate "apartments" in composite nests that can reach the size of a small car. These “apartments” may attract other tenants who will nest alongside the colony, such as pigeons, sparrows, American Kestrels (Falco sparverius), Yellow-billed Teals (Anas flavirostris), and mammals like squirrels.

The Burrowing Parrot (Cyanoliseus patagonus) excavates burrows that can be as much as 3 m deep into a cliff-face, connecting with other tunnels to create a labyrinth, ending in a nesting chamber. They nest in large colonies, some of the largest of any parrots, up to 70,000 strong, creating “cities” in cliff faces during the breeding season.

Parrots do not have vocal cords, so sound is accomplished by expelling air across the mouth of the trachea in the organ called the syrinx. Different sounds are produced by changing the depth and shape of the trachea.

A study by scientist Irene Pepperberg suggested a high learning ability in a Grey Parrot (Psittacus erithacus) named Alex. Alex was trained to use words to identify objects, describe them, count them, and even answer complex questions such as "How many red squares?" with over 80% accuracy. N'kisi, another Grey Parrot, has been shown to have a vocabulary of around a thousand words, and has displayed an ability to invent and use words in context in correct tenses.

As parrots are highly intelligent and social, an absence of stimuli from members of their own kind can delay the development of young birds. This was demonstrated by a group of Vasa Parrots (genus Coracopsis) kept in tiny cages with Domestic Chickens (Gallus gallus domesticus) from the age of three months; at nine months, these birds still behaved in the same way as three-month-olds, but had adopted some chicken behaviour. Parrots kept as pets or in detrimental environments can, if deprived of stimuli, develop stereotyped and harmful behaviours like self-mutilating. Keepers working with parrots often have dedicated environmental enrichment plans to keep parrots stimulated.

One-third of all parrot species are threatened by extinction, with a higher aggregate extinction risk than any other comparable bird group. Parrots are subjected to more exploitation than any other group of wild birds, and their wild populations have been diminished by trapping both adults and chicks for the pet trade. Half of all parrots live in captivity, with the vast majority of these living as pets in people's homes. Despite many breeders existing, parrots are not domesticated, and very few make good pets as they have complex social, dietary, and enrichment needs, they have strong bites and need to chew, and are naturally very loud. They are also long-term commitments as, depending on species, they can live from 15 to 80+ years, all while requiring the same levels of attention, care, and intellectual stimulation akin to that required by a three-year-old child to survive. Parrot rescue groups estimate that most parrots are surrendered and rehomed through at least five homes before reaching their permanent destinations, or before dying prematurely from unintentional or intentional neglect and abuse. If considering a pet parrot, make sure you have the time, money, and emotional energy to devote to these wild animals, know what you’re getting into, and make sure you adopt from a rescue so as not to fuel this unethical pet trade.

[bittencandy]

𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖘𝖎𝖑𝖐

◈ 𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔰𝔣𝔴 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫'𝔰

. toxic relationship themes: controlling behavior, possessiveness, mammon being mammon.

◈ If there was one thing in your relationship with Mammon that you hadn't quite gotten used to yet, it would be how cold he is. Sure, he isn't horridly so. But he's chilly enough that it can surprise you when he touches you when you aren't expecting it. Mostly when he isn't wearing his gloves, the smooth leather working as a buffer between the subtle frost of his palms and your skin. The first time you had felt his bare flesh against your own you had to will yourself not to jerk and move out from underneath his grip from instinct alone. He gets a kick out of it. Seeing how you squirm from the gentle chill. He'll often sneak up behind you, pulling a pair of his gloves off to slip his bare hands underneath your shirt randomly throughout the day and night, reveling in the way that you gasp aloud at their contact. He enjoys it even more when you turn around to scold him. He'll blink at you cluelessly while you glare up at him with insults on your tongue. He loves to play dumb, even when the smile on his face is just a bit too sharp, too big to be truly apologetic or perplexed. 

◈ Due to his chilly body temperature; his body's inability to produce its own heat, he will absolutely use you to steal yours. Any amount of warmth that your body generates, from a lot to a little, it doesn't matter, he will latch onto you like a leech to soak it into his skin. You've practically become a portable heater for the King of Greed at this point, with him toting you around like you're a sack full of feathers, regardless of your height or weight, he will scoop you up with a pair of his arms and secure you to his body. Or he'll have you perched up on his shoulder like some kind of parrot. If you happen to be latched onto him at any point of the day, held within the cradle of his arms or draped along him, he will have you hand feed him food. Whatever he's craving, really. Anything from a bag of potato chips to cupcakes. The healthiest thing he's ever had you feed him was grapes, but you were pretty sure he just did that because you were out in public, and he wanted to "look regal." 

◈ But his desire to hold you also stems from a place of possession as well. It's a silent yet bold way to communicate that you're his without having to say a single word. And his possessive tendencies definitely know no bounds. He absolutely loves it when you wear his colors or anything that could be linked to his image or brand. Anything from diamond and money motifs, shades of green or gold, or if you're bold with it and outright wear his merch and clothing that sports his name or sigil. It strokes his ego like nothing else. Especially if you wear it at your own accord and he doesn't have to convince you to, he'll be so smug about it; practically gloating with that wide smile stretched out across his face and his ego having inflated about ten times bigger than it already is. Like it needs to get any bigger.  

◈ He makes chokers out of his web - collars really and keeps them snuggly secured around your neck at all times. It takes a while for the silk threads to wear down and weaken (typically a few weeks), and as soon as one does it's swiftly being replaced by another, more sturdier string of webbing. But you can't deny that you have a soft spot for the little DIY necklaces. You feel a little sentimental, balmy warmth flutter in your chest every time you catch sight of them in the mirror. And it's an added plus that they're gorgeous in their delicate, silvery glint; reflecting traces of light in a soft green and purple glow with a sort of iridescent shimmer. 

If he's feeling particularly clingy, he may also weave bracelets for both your wrists and ankles for you to wear. He gets upset whenever you wear something may cover them up. Anything that's has long sleeves or a shirt with a high neckline that may keep the choker concealed. The first time you had worn a top that covered up your throat and forgot to slip the webbed necklace out from underneath the fabric he had taken a personal offence to it. Plucking at the fabric of your shirt with his face twisted up in a scowl, the burning chartreuse of his eyes narrowing at the top like its existence was a crime. "What the fuck is this?" He had sneered, eyebrow raising with a curious sort of disdain while he snagged the front of your shirt with the point of his claw; the only thing that kept it from ripping into the material of your top was the glove covering the lethal edge. "You trying to hide our relationship? Does it embarrass you?" An absolute drama queen, really. 

◈ A billionaire he is but a sugar daddy he is not (at least not in the typical sense). Mammon clings to every bit of money he finds, hundred-dollar bills, fives and ones and pennies. He does not care. He's taking it and he won't spend it. Not even on himself. That's the thing with greed, is no matter how much you have, it's never enough. He acts like if he were to spend even a single cent that it would tip him into a financial ruin that he'd never recover from. He cherishes every single ounce of cash that he gets to a concerning degree, but you knew that long before you even started dating him. Regardless, it still was a little disturbing when you walked in on him talking to the bags full of money he had collected after one of his concerts. He was clutching the filled burlap sacks to his chest, breathing in the scent of the bills like they were laced with some sort of drug while he mumbled praises and drooled over them. Even worse was when he caught sight of you watching him and his eyes had turned into slits, zeroing in on you with an animal sort of instinct like you were some kind of threat. "Get the hell out of here!" He snarled, reaching for the bags of cash and the scattered bills that had managed to spill from his fervent hold. "Trying to steal my fucking money! Trying to touch it with your dirty, greedy hands! I dare ya to even fuckin' try it!" You had been quick to back out of the room, slamming the door shut behind you with a confused look pinching your face. You're like, ninety-nine percent sure that he may have gotten off to his stockpile of cash before. 

He also counts it obsessively and he remember every single amount that he had. Down the cent. If so much as a penny goes missing, he absolutely loses his mind. 

◈ You had learned a long time ago not to ask him for money. Case and point when you had asked him for a five-dollar bill, all because you had forgotten your wallet before you left the house and wanted a fountain drink. An otherwise harmless request, but then he had accused you of being a 'gold-digger' while you were standing in front of the soda machine. That little comment had resulted in an argument in the middle of the gas station while the cashier and customers watched in fascination. 

But even with his stingy ways, that's not to say that he doesn't spoil you. But it's done in his own way. If he gifts you something, you know for a fact that he didn't pay for it. Everything that he gets, he obtains by abusing his status as a Sin or by name dropping. Reservations at the most exclusive restaurants and clubs, 'buying' clothes from the most praised shops and designers, trips to the best resorts, they're all achieved simply from his name alone. He doesn't pay a single dime. And if some tries to reject him because he refuses to pay the booking fee for a reservation, or if they claim that he 'stole' from a store - let's be honest, he totally did- they're going to find themselves on the top of the Sin's shitlist. No one gets away with refusing the King of Greed and escapes with their social image or life still intact. He's not above ruining other demons to get what he wants. His shame is nonexistent, so if someone tells him 'no' then their body may be found lying amongst the toxic garbage and ruble in one of the many landfills of the Greed Ring. 

But he does greatly care about how he's perceived by the masses, and considering that you're in a relationship with him, your image must also be presentable at all times. He can't run the risk of you damaging his image. So you learned a long time ago to abuse the usage of his name in order to get what you want. Eventually you didn't even have to mention Mammon. Everyone and the Seven Rings of Hell were quick to catch onto your relationship with the Sin, and by proxy, they learned who you are. If you want something, all you have to do is tell them your name, and what you want is as good yours. It doesn't matter if it's a pair of shoes, a car, or a house. There's only a handful of people that would say no to the Embodiment of Greed, and by extension, you. So yes, you absolutely exploit the privileges of being Mammon's lover, so what? 

◈ He expects you to be at all of his shows. It doesn't matter if the events are back-to-back and they all have the same set and routine, you're supposed to be there. Front row. Every. Single. Night. No excuses. And you get extra points if you're wearing his merch. Not going to lie, he's tried to get you to pay for an admission fee, even though he had asked you - invited you, to be at his show. You're the only demon in the history of Hell who will ever get into these events for free. Because you have always been adamant on telling him no. Even when he practically threw a tantrum the first time, skulking around the house, groaning and sighing and mumbling to himself like you were the most unagreeable person on the planet. And the term "mumbling" is used loosely. It could hardly be addressed that way when he was talking to himself in a way that made it more than apparent that he wanted you to hear. Calling you "ungrateful" and "money hungry" and "cheap." The complete bastard.

After he (quickly) figured out that there was no way in Hell that you were going to spend your hard-earned money on his shows, and once you had officially become exclusive (which didn't take long considering his possessive nature) he had moved you from the front row seats and onto one of the overhanging platforms, constructed from his webbing and stationed at every concert. Always safely seated above the raging, downright feral fans as they all clamor against the edge of the stage to get closer to Mammon while he gloats and preens underneath all of the attention. But even with the majority of his focus on performing and giving the crowd some half-assed speech - a large sum of it never failing to be some means to promote whatever new product he's trying to sell - he always wants you to be in his line of sight at all times. He'll lose his composure if you aren't, struggling to keep himself together on stage while his eyes scan the shifting sea of bodies for you, balling a hand up into a fist while he forces himself to save face as not to alarm his fans to his frazzled, irritated internal state. 

◈ This is where more of his webbing comes into play (this is a headcanon that's been mentioned by a few other writers, and I'm inclined to agree that he'd do it). You know those parents who put their kids on a leash? Yeah, he does that with you. But instead of a leash, he has a thread attached to some part of your person to keep track of you at his Clown Pageants or other shows. It's something usually saved for when the choker around your neck and the bracelets around your wrists aren't enough. This is for scenarios when he needs to find you. When there's a potential of you becoming lost. He also likes the power of being able to pull you back over to him if he feels like you're taking too long on returning back to his side or if he feels that you've wondered too far from him. It annoys you to no end, especially considering that last time you had allowed him to attach his web to you and he had grown impatient with you quickly. You had been in the midst of ordering a funnel cake from the built-in concession stand, and apparently, you had taken just a minute too long because before you could even get your hands on the food, you were being tugged by the waist and dragged through the hallway and the crowd until you were returned back to your place on his web. It was humiliating and stupid, but you had been able to form a simple way to communicate with each other through tugging at the thread. Like one pull indicated that you were leaving for something to eat, two was a bathroom break, and three was a silent way of saying "hold on, give me a minute." He'd learned to be a little bit more patient with the addition. But the best that you'd gotten him to reciprocate is with an insistent, set of tugs on your thread that easily let you know that he's impatient and teetering on the edge of his self-restraint while he waits for you to come back.  He's getting better though. Sort of. 

◈ It's already been stated, Mammon is awfully possessive over you. Most likely something to do with being the incarnation of Greed, but Mammon doesn't share. The very idea of it will have his mood declining; electricity sparking around his body, cracking and snapping across the atmosphere in flashes of burning neon. He'll get scathing and mocking with anyone who he feels is a threat to your relationship, regardless of gender. If he gets the impression that there's even the possibility of them moving your attention from him and onto them, then they're already on the fast track to his blacklist. At best he may just insult and belittle them. That's the absolute best-case scenario. Mammon's made plenty of bodies disappear in his lifetime and he has absolutely no problems with adding another one to that list. 

◈ He's very touchy. He's always in contact with you in some way, at all times, which circles back to the webbing and how he's keen on holding you against his body. It translates to when he's speaking to you as well. Such as nudging your chin with his fingertips to direct you attention onto him; cupping your face with a pair of his hands; pulling you towards him by your waist and arms; lifting you up to move or sit you onto chairs or places that are more convenient for him. It kind of goes hand in hand with how he uses his height to intimidate other demons. Nine times out of ten, he's one of the tallest, if not the tallest person in the room, and so his size is one of his go to means to frighten others, and crowding past their personal boundaries is just another way to force his presence over them. He doesn't do it to scare you, but it's become such an instinctual thing for him that he doesn't even second guess it. It's fully in his nature to do it. It runs along that vein of his greed; the entitlement he feels to other demon's personal space. 

◈ He knows how his presence affects you. How that magnetic thrum that always seems to be pulsing around him like a soft electrical current, prickling at your skin always sends a shiver down your spine. He's aware of how much you like his scent, too. Those warm notes like leather, full with that particular type of musk that wafts from dollar bills, buttery and soft like linen. But he knows that it's his voice in particular that's your favorite. That you especially love the accented lilt that cradles each and every word that comes out of his mouth. It's a particular weakness in your armor that he exploits shamelessly. He knows that all he has to do is dip his voice down into that low coo, all soft with a subtle rumble and you're as good as his. It was a vulnerability that you had tried to hide in the beginning of your relationship, but Mammon being Mammon had noticed your fondness for his voice pretty early on. Mostly because you were absolutely horrid at hiding your affection for his accent. You'd have to physically force yourself from practically melting underneath the sound of that pleasant yet scratchy cadence, pulling your focus onto literally anything else to try and keep from turning into a pile of mush. . . or bursting into laughter. The way that he breaks into a loud string of swears and casual insults never fails to amuse you. Particularly the way that he stresses the word "fuck" so aggressively. Especially the "u" vowel until it almost sounds close to an "a" pronunciation; you have an awful soft spot for it. 

◈ He uses his voice and his eyes to get out of everything. He can be extremely expressive, and if he's done something to anger or irritate you, he will try and use his big eyes to weasel his way back into your good graces. Believe it or not, he's very good at pulling the wounded puppy dog look when he wants to, but you're proud to say that you have gotten better at resisting the adorably pathetic faces he's able to make. Much to his chagrin. He absolutely hates it when you give him the silent treatment, and you try to use it is a kind of last resort. You'd much rather try to have a mature conversation with Mammon and sort out whatever is causing a rift or disagreement between the both of you. But sometimes when it comes to dating someone as egotistical as him, juvenile methods are the only tactic that prove to get through to him. He practically goes through the five stages of grief whenever you ignore him. 

The first being denial: He'll scoff when he realizes that you aren't speaking to him. Almost more amused than he is annoyed. "Are you really going quiet on me? Psshh, whatever. You'll be back to talkin' my fucking ear off in few minutes anyway. You know you can't ignore me for long." 

Anger: Once it finally sinks in that you aren't going to speak to him, he become visibly agitated. His face will twist up into a combination of a pout and a sneer, and he'll start grumbling to himself, huffing swears and complaints under his breath as you go about your day like he doesn't even exist, before his rambling dips into full blown rants. It gets even worse if you chose to leave the house - especially without telling him. That might just be the ultimate insult. He'll pretend that it doesn't bother him at all. That he hardly notices your absence or the fact that you were able to just leave without so much as a backward glance in his direction. It's fine. He doesn't need you. You're the one who needs him. So, when you don't even so much as send him a text or give him a phone call while you're out and ignoring him it has his mood plummeting down into something burning and suffocating.  

When you come home from being out, either after hanging out with friends or just having a quiet solo night out on the town, he's on you in an instant, crowding into your space with those bright green sparks pulsing around him in a seething magnetic flare. "I don't even have to have you here. You've been gettin' real fuckin' cocky lately, acting like I couldn't find ten other bitches just like you. I could have you replaced in the blink of an eye, and it wouldn't bother me the fucking slightest." 

It's something that should send you running for the hills, or at the very least, get under your skin. But his little tantrums never do. It's just his way of trying to get a rise out of you. To make you just as angry as he is so that you'll break and shout at him; cuss him out to get back at him. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of doing that. You always just level him with a collected stare instead, with a challenge glinting in your eyes. A wordless, "I dare you to." 

He never does. 

Bargaining: This is when the exasperation settles in, though with his inflated sense of pride it usually takes him a bit to get here. But once he finally does, his first instinct is to try and bribe his way back into your good graces. Mammon is very unused to concept of actually having to work for something. His sense of entitlement is as vast as the Seven Rings combined, and the idea of having to make an effort for anything is such a foreign concept. He's so used to getting his way because of his status alone, so whenever you fail to give into his sway it always leaves him a little bit baffled. He tries to tempt you with gifts and dates, and whenever you refuse the proposals, it leaves him utterly lost and infuriated. 

"C'mon. How's about we go to that restaurant ya like so much? " 

"You know, that movie you wanted to see is playing tonight. I could kick everyone out the entire theater if you want. How's that sound? Just you an' me with no one to bother us." 

"You seriously can't still be ignoring me. This shit's gettin old. Let's just put it behind us, yeah?" 

Depression: There will become a change in his physical demeanor once the defeat settles in. Not enough to tip off anyone who doesn't know him well enough. To the untrained eye he's still his usual self. Still just as cheerful and brazen as ever, with his sarcasm and ego just as unaffected as it always is. But even then, you're always able to notice the tension in his shoulders. How the corners of his sharp grin seem just a bit too tight, like he's forcing it on. Whenever he's out of the eye of the public, the fractures in his jovial facade really crumble. Even when he's trying to keep his composure around you, stubbornly trying to pretend that your silence really hasn't affected him. He gets genuinely mopey like this, and the wounded puppy dog expression pulled at his features is actually real this time. But he'll still deny that the heavy frown on his face isn't because of you; he just doesn't feel like smiling, that's all. The irritated way that he's been snapping at everyone as of late; he just woke in a bad mood for an entirely different reason. He's not upset over you, don't flatter yourself. 

Acceptance: Mammon doesn't come to a point of acceptance, per say. He'll never admit "defeat" or apologize for whatever it is that he's done wrong. You're pretty sure that Mammon would combust into a roaring billow of flames and ash before the words "I'm sorry" ever make it past his lips. And when he does apologize, it's done so subtly and in a physical manner, usually with him scooping you up and clutching you to his chest until all of those fuzzy, warm feelings build up within you and drown you from the inside out until you find yourself instinctively reciprocating. Or he'll try another route, such as making you laugh. He is a performer if nothing else, and he knows your sense of humor very well. He'll try to be subtle about it first, mumbling jokes to himself in a way that comes across as organic, like he's ranting to himself about his day while you happen to be in the same room or within the nearby vicinity; close enough to overhear him. He'll try anything, regardless of what type of humor you have. Dark humor, lighthearted jokes, puns, physical comedy, whatever you're suspectable to, he'll get you to crack eventually. 

It's either that, or eventually you'll be the one to give in first. Only able to ignore Mammon for so long before you sucked into your affections and endearment and then you're the one seeking him out. 

◈ He throws parties. All the time. And every single one of them honors him in some type of fashion. He had two separate celebrations for his birthday, twice in a single year. The dates were entirely made up, neither of them lining up with day that he was actually created, but no one so much as batted an eye. There are exclusive parties thrown after his Clown Pageants and concerts. The price of admission is astronomically high, which kills you inside because he doesn't even pay for these events, he has benefactors do it for him. They pay a pretty penny for these parties too, with Mammon hiring contortionists, and fire breathers, and they're always lavishly decorated. But you can't complain too much about it because your birthdays are always insane. Each year is a different theme, and the furnishings and ornaments alone would take ten lifetimes for you to be able to afford.

◈He has several different costumes that he wears for a variety of occasions. One of his most exuberant outfits has to be the one constructed from gold silk. The material is tapestried and what must be thousands of coins threaded into the fabric that chime and jingle with even the slightest movements. How he manages to move around underneath the weight of all that gold is a mystery. But your favorite costume of his has to be the one fashioned from all of the currency in the human world; various and authentic bills that are layered up on top of each other in a variety of colors. From green to purple and orange. It's as gaudy as it is beautiful, but you mostly like it because it makes him look like a rainbow piñata. He's even had similar outfits made for you, so that you'll match. They aren't as loud or opulent as his are, but that works just fine for you. 

◈ His shame knows no limits. He actually had a fundraiser before, for people to donate to him so that he could become richer than he already is. He had even lamented about it in a video online, sharing with the masses that it had been an aspiration of his ever since he was young. That if each one of them donated a single dollar, that he could reach his dream. Honestly, you could hardly even blame him for it because demons had actually donated. 

◈ If there's a snack that you're saving for later, you might as well as expect it to be gone. Nothing is sacred for Mammon, so if he finds your leftovers or a little treat that you've been saving for yourself in the fridge or in the kitchen cabinets, there's 99% chance it's going to be gone by the time you come back for it. You had learned this the hard way when you had walked into the kitchen one night, eager to finish up on some of your favorite candy after a long, exhausting day. When you crossed the threshold, the sight that greeted you had you freezing still. There was Mammon, standing in at the kitchen counter with a familiar bag clutched in one of his hands, cheeks swollen around a big mouthful. His vision was already locked onto you, but he didn't appear to be worried or guilty that he had been caught in the act. His green eyes swept over you, fully relaxed and unbothered before he tilted his head back to pour the remaining scraps from the bag into his mouth, swallowing it down in a single gulp. 

"What?" He asked dumbly. 

The only response he had gotten was you ripping off one of your shoes and hurtling it at him full force. 

You now know to hide all of your meals and snacks from him. But on the flip side, he gets irritated and upset if you happen to do the same thing to him and eat his junk food. Cue an angry tirade about how you're selfish and don't care about hurting his feelings. He'll glare at you with betrayal and outrage if you eat off of his plate or steal a fry from his meal whenever you go out to eat. If looks could kill, you would have doubled over and died from the searing heat glinting in his eyes a long time ago. Does it stop you from doing it? No.

◈He's a bed hog too. When he sleeps, he spreads all six of his limps out like a starfish, covering up nearly every square inch of space with his body. In the very beginning of your relationship, when everything was still new and a little uncertain, you would curl up at the edge of the bed. And the "very beginning" means the first two days. Your patience was quick to go out of the window. You would try to shove him away from you to make room for yourself, but once Mammon fully passes out, he's virtually dead weight. And he won't budge no matter how much you try and get him to shuffle over. Now you just sleep on top of him instead. Not that you can complain about it much. With the feel of him underneath you, sturdy but soft, surrounded by the scent of him and the subtle chill of his body, it usually has you passed out in a matter of seconds. This has a tendency to backfire because whenever you wake up in the morning, he has each arm securely wrapped around your body with his hands gripped onto your clothes like you're some kind of teddy bear. It's impossible to escape from his grip when he's like this and waking him up is a feat all in its own.  Fizz once suggested waking up the Sin by airhorn, claiming that it worked for him. You had seriously thought about it, but knowing your luck Mammon would probably strangle you in his sleep if you did that. 

Oh, yeah, he snores and drools in his sleep too. He also talks every once in a while, as well. "Talk" is generous. He kind of rants in his sleep. You're privy to a lot of gossip and drama because of this little habit of his. 

◈ He uses you as a kind of stress ball. Especially whenever he's carrying you around. You'll find him squeezing various parts of you throughout the day, such as your cheeks, your ass, your chest, regardless of their size, he'll be palming them at some point. It's mostly absentminded, like it's some kind of involuntary urge that he has, and the more stressed he is, the more he'll do it. But he does it on purpose as well. You can always tell when it is based on that mischievous glint he gets in his eyes. You can't hold it against him all that much though, you do the same thing to him plenty. He always pretends to be annoyed whenever you return the gesture by pinching at the swell of his face or groping his chest, but he leans into the attention. Melting underneath the warmth of your palms like a big house cat. 

◈ He isn't the best at picking up gifts and presents. Mostly because whenever he's out with the intent to pick something up for you, such as for your birthday or a holiday or anniversary, he immediately gets sidetracked with things that he'd like to buy for himself. He usually comes home with both pairs of his arms weighed down by bags and boxes and there's a good chance that less than half of them is even meant for you. He's absolute trash when it comes to finding things that you'd actually like. He'll spend a good five minutes squinting down at a set of shoes wondering if you'll like them (even if you have a similar pair for reference) before he eventually calls it quits and just throws them in the cart anyway. If you don't like it, then you can just get them replaced or swap them out. But he does try in his own way. 

◈ A lot of talk circulates around Hell in regard to the Sin's. Anything and everything are discussed. From their personal lives to the clothes they wear, who they associate with and what they had for dinner. It's all under scrutiny from the eye of the masses. So when it was discovered that the King of Green of all demons was in a relationship, it was under evaluation for weeks. No one would have ever guessed that Mammon would ever be the type to find a lover. You had been called a variety of different terms, from a social climber, a gold digger, a prostitute. They were all wondering how royalty managed to fall for someone like you. For a while it didn't bother you. You expected it honestly, but after hearing the same harsh criticisms and gossip day after day, it starts to weigh heavy. You had vented to Mammon, confessed how you worried that you weren't enough, that all of their talk and judgement was starting to crack around the edges. 

He cupped your face in both of his palms, directing your attention on him with a hold that was surprisingly gentle. It grounded you, centered you enough to pull you through the restless emotions and worry spiraling around your mind. The softness in his gaze was just as shocking, rare enough to leave you speechless. "Don't pay those bastards any mind, " he assured you, sweeping his thumbs across the jut of your cheekbones as he drew you closer to him with the tug of his other arms. "I only take the best. They're a useless band of losers anyway, so they can go fuck themselves. You're better than them." 

It wasn't the most eloquent reassurance you've gotten in your life, but coming from Mammon, it made your body burn with a calming, tender warmth. He was right. You didn't need them or their opinions. They didn't matter. And they never would. Not when you have him. 

[rdthoughtdaughter]

Are you a radfem or choice-feminist because at this point you’re libfem leaning.

Women should be able to choose but not when it comes to sex work, and not when it comes to kink, and not when it comes to whatever you don’t like? But when they say women shouldn’t choose men it’s wrong?

I absolutely don’t promote shaming women and blaming them for men’s action. But at this point both sides of this discourse are parroting each other. Yall come with the same defense but with different font. It’s like trans “don’t police sex, what if your soulmate had different sex than you. You’re gay” and conversion therapy “don’t police sex, what if your soulmate had different sex. You’re not gay” in radfem version.

Honestly, “don’t shame women” while shaming women for shaming women is ridiculous. Everyone should be able to have an opinion. About choices women make too.

Whilst I’m personally not okay with blaming women for men being dead in the head, the argument that women often choose toxic partners despite knowing things is true.

Radfem community is about uplifting women yes, but it doesn’t ban you from criticizing them.

‘Are you A or are you B, because at this point you are C leaning’.

A very coherent way to explain your thoughts. Apparently I am ‘libfem’ leaning because I don’t believe that heterosexual women having heterosexual healthy relationships shouldn’t be bashed. Apparently I am a ‘libfem’ leaning because I don’t think that it is okay to bash women who choose to have kids. Apparently I am a ‘libfem’ feeling that it is not necessary to be a separatist in order to be a radical feminist. That’s a lot of knowledge and sophistication on your part.

You said so much and yet so little. ‘Sex Work’ is not a choice and it’s most definitely not a work. Most of the women who engage in ‘sw’ are pushed to this by the necessity: of financial stability most likely. You cannot cal it a choice when you are pressured into it by the external forces. It’s called ‘Hobson’s choice’. ‘Sex work’ contributes to the commodification of women. If you can imply that women can sell their bodies, you imply that men can buy female bodies, rent them out. It is not healthy.

Kinks, especially harmful ones are induced by heavy traumas and it shouldn’t be normalised. It is not healthy.

Did you look at what you have written before sending it? Radical feminism is about uplifting women yet you are pro women shaming.

Some food for thought: criticism and shaming are not equivalent.

[the-most-humble-blog]

🚨 Why a Man Who Calls Other Men “Misogynist” in Front of Women Would Have Been Banished to Starve, AND get His Balls Torn Off by Ancient Baboons

💀 You either stand with men, or you get eaten by baboons. No in-between.🚨

📢 First of All, Let’s Get One Thing Straight…

If you are a man who virtue-signals about misogyny in front of women, you would have been:

📌 Exiled from the tribe. 📌 Stripped of your loincloth privileges. 📌 Hunted by predators that smelled the estrogen seeping out of your cowardly, spineless husk. 📌 Eventually found by a pack of baboons who used your testicles as a chew toy.

🚨 And this was not just because ancient men were “toxic” or “patriarchal.” 🚨 It’s because you were a useless liability to the survival of the group.

📌 The Harsh Reality: Weak, Treacherous Men Were Naturally Selected Out of Existence

Let’s Go Back to the Dawn of Man:

Picture it: 📌 The tribe is struggling to survive. 📌 Men are hunting, building, and protecting the group from wild animals and enemy clans. 📌 Women are securing resources, raising young, and ensuring the continuation of the species.

Then there’s you—some weak, self-loathing b*tch of a caveman who doesn’t fight, doesn’t build, and doesn’t contribute. 👉 Instead, you make yourself useful by calling other men “misogynist” in front of the women to score points.

How do you think this played out?

📌 The women, who actually wanted strong men to ensure their survival, looked at you with disgust. 📌 The men, who were actually securing food and defending the group, looked at you with contempt. 📌 The tribe saw you for what you were: a pathetic, backstabbing waste of resources.

And so, you were left behind.

Your last moments were probably spent: ❌ Begging for acceptance as the hunters walked away. ❌ Trying to “reason” with a hungry sabertooth tiger. ❌ Crying about “toxic masculinity” while getting your dick ripped off by prehistoric chimpanzees.

And nobody grieved. Because you didn’t matter.

📌 Fast-Forward to Modern Day: The Exact Same Dynamic Still Exists

🚨 Society has evolved, but human nature hasn’t.

Men instinctively distrust traitors. Women instinctively resent weak men who grovel for approval.

📌 Calling another man “misogynist” in front of women does not make women like you. 📌 It does not make you attractive. 📌 It does not make you respected.

🚨 It makes you a transparent, pathetic, backstabbing worm.

👉 Women know you’re a fraud. The moment you start parroting feminist talking points to get in their good graces, they see right through you. 👉 Men know you’re a traitor. They will never trust you, because they know you’d throw them under the bus for a crumb of female attention.

📌 Translation? You are socially exiling yourself. 📌 And in any other era of history, you would not have survived.

📌 The Scientific, Psychological, and Social Proof That Male Feminists Are a F*cking Joke

Want actual, research-backed proof that men who virtue-signal feminism are full of sh*t?

🔹 Study #1: Male Feminists Are More Likely to Be Sex Predators 📌 A 2020 study from the University of British Columbia found that men who strongly virtue-signal about gender equality are statistically more likely to exhibit sexually coercive behavior. 📌 Translation? The guys calling other men “misogynist” are usually the biggest creeps in the room.

🔹 Study #2: Women Do Not Respect Male Feminists 📌 A 2019 survey by YouGov found that women overwhelmingly prefer men who display traditional masculine traits over self-proclaimed “male feminists.” 📌 Translation? Women see through the act. They don’t want a sniveling lapdog. They want a man, not a mascot.

🔹 Study #3: Weak Men Are a Social Liability 📌 Evolutionary psychology studies have repeatedly shown that men who display weakness are perceived as unreliable and expendable by both men and women. 📌 Translation? If you were in a survival scenario, your as would be left behind.

🚨 The science is in: Weak, backstabbing men get eaten first.

📌 What Happens to Men Who Try to Appease Feminists?

❌ They get friendzoned. ❌ They get zero respect from men OR women. ❌ They become walking jokes. ❌ They inevitably get accused of the same sh*t they preached against.

👉 We’ve seen it over and over again.

Every male feminist who screams about “toxic masculinity” ends up: ✔ Canceled for inappropriate behavior. ✔ Exposed as a serial sex creep. ✔ Publicly humiliated when feminists turn on him anyway.

🚨 Because guess what? Feminists don’t actually respect male feminists either.

📌 You are nothing but a useful idiot to them. 📌 A pawn. A tool. A walking embarrassment.

🚨 FINAL VERDICT: If You Call Other Men “Misogynist” for Female Approval, You Deserve to Be Socially Exiled

🔹 Ancient society would have abandoned you to be eaten. 🔹 Modern society simply lets you embarrass yourself. 🔹 Either way, you are a walking failure of masculinity.

If you are a man, BE a man. 🚀 Stand by your principles. 🚀 Defend masculinity instead of apologizing for it. 🚀 And for the love of God, stop throwing your own gender under the bus like a spineless b*tch.

🚨 Because if the tribe had any common sense? You’d be long gone.

🔥 REBLOG if you’re sick of fake male feminists throwing men under the bus for clout.

🔥 FOLLOW [The Most Humble Blog] for savage truth bombs, unapologetic masculinity, and nuclear takes.

🔥 COMMENT if you’ve ever seen a weak simp try this sh*t in real life because...You either stand with men, or you get eaten by baboons. No in-between.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This post is written for the purpose of artistic expression, cultural commentary, and psychological exploration of social and gender dynamics. It does not condone or encourage violence, harassment, or discrimination of any kind. Any references to power, strength, restraint, or critique are metaphorical, symbolic, and rooted in historical and cultural analysis. This is not a call to action — it’s a cultural mirror. If you feel offended, ask yourself if it’s from actual harm — or from seeing something you hoped no one would say out loud.

✨ TL;DR: If you're mad, it’s probably not because it’s wrong — it’s because you know it’s true.

[extinctionstories]

Carolina Parakeets, #5. Getting into the tougher stuff now.

As I’ve said, I want to use this series to talk about ways in which the Carolina Parakeet was unique. Well, there’s one aspect of this species that I think stands out particularly in the context of avian extinction.

There’s a plant called the cocklebur. Common around the world, you’ve probably met it at least once or twice, its seedpods clinging to your socks after a walk through long grass, or to a pet’s fur. (Once, this happened to an engineer, resulting in the invention of Velcro.)

To most people, the cocklebur is a mere annoyance. To farmers, however, it is a scourge. The cocklebur, you see, is highly toxic. Even an animal as large as a cow or horse may be felled if it consumes enough of the plant. Unchecked by any extant natural predator (with the exception of a few insects), careful management is required to keep pastures clear and livestock safe. Though better equipped to avoid the stuff, birds, too, are susceptible to cocklebur poisoning.

All except one.

When John James Audubon created his portrait of the Carolina Parakeet, he chose to depict the birds among the bristling branches of a cocklebur plant—what better place to pose the parrots, than nestled within the arms of one of their favorite food sources, nibbling happily on its barbed seeds.

Audubon, along with early naturalist Mark Catesby who wrote the first scientific description of the parakeet, noted also that the flesh of the birds seemed to be fatally poisonous to cats, which would quickly die after having killed and eaten a parakeet.

It’s impossible to fully calculate the toll that our domestic felines have taken on the world’s birds. Invasive on every continent to which we’ve carried them, it’s estimated that cats kill a minimum of 2 billion birds per year just in North America. These losses appear again and again in the narratives of extinction, with cats factoring into the disappearance of at least 75 species of bird in the last 300 years.

The Carolina Parakeet was not one of them.

The title of this painting is ‘The Poison of the Cocklebur’. It is gouache on 18x24 watercolor paper.

[splashgal]

Bridgerton Recap- 1x3: 'The Art Of The Swoon'

We open on a very romantic sequence involving wisteria and lanterns and Simon sliding one of Daphne’s opera gloves off as they dance. He leans in to kiss her and she wakes up. Wah wah. She seems very disturbed, as if we haven’t all had that dream about Rege-Jean Page. I wonder if episode three always opens with a Bridger-Sibling dream sequence? Let me know in the comments.

After the title card ( I already miss the theme music), we get shots of men shooting and women shopping as Dame Julie tells us that those that marry in haste must repent in leisure. She gives a shoutout to Daphne, who is fielding proposals out in the streets. What? Who are these guys? Dame Julie continues on that she believes Daphne is still waiting for the Duke to pop the question, hopefully not out on the sidewalk like he’s a pan-handler. Whatever Dame Julie says next is lost on me and Daphne as Simon makes 'Bridgerton' history by establishing the oral fixation this family has by licking the back of his spoon.

Miss Bridgerton gets it together faster than I do, because I have to rewind this section three times to write about it and she is able to snap back to attention after just a few seconds as someone brings her a dish of ice cream.

She reminds Simon (but mostly us) that their ruse is working, but must continue until she finds herself a husband. He agrees and is very charming and calls himself handsome. She looks like she wants to lick the back of him.

Penelope is staring out the window over at Feather-House with a pink dress and some very cute, bouncy curls. Pru and Pippa are expositing that a Prince is on his way as they climb the stairs that Pen is racing down. Together, the three really look like a Lisa Frank TrapperKeeper with the LaffyTaffy- hued dresses. Pen races to the footman who is holding all the new mail on a silver tray. She shuffles through it before sighing and flouncing off cutely with a little sigh.

Marina is in her room (of course) as Pen enters. They establish she didn’t get a single Publisher’s Clearing House letter or credit card offer and Marina flops onto the bed dramatically. Penelope gives her a ‘buck up, lil’ camper’ speech about Sir George writing back and taking a long time to get correspondence to and from him and they’re such a great couple, so much better than she and that stinky Bridgerton boy who was trying to make time with her. What’s his name- Colton?

Portia and her evil henchman Varley burst in and accuse Penelope of ‘cavorting with the expectant’. Ha! Pen tries to defend herself, but her dear mama practically throws her out of the room before turning on Marina and telling her she needs to find a husband asap. Marina doesn’t want to do that. Shockingly, Portia doesn’t care and further threatens Marina that she’s going to start wearing the family colors. Awesome, so she’ll look like a HyperColor shirt in no time!

Across the street as the less toxic Bridger-Home, Violet is already asking Daphne to fill up her dance card for the ball that night as the debutante paces the room. Benedict is sprawled out on a sofa, Anthony is sat at a table reading the newspaper, Colin is eating, and the littles play on the floor. The family group scenes are consistently my faves on this show. Daphne makes Ben move so she can sit next to him as El flops onto an open chair and Greg steals food from Anthony’s plate. Violet asks about Simon and Daphne reminds her that he isn’t one of the guys who has proposed to her. Bridger-Mom notes that Daphne simply needs to marry the person who feels like her dearest friend (drink!). Daphne gets all sarcastic with her mom as Benedict smirks from what has to be an extremely uncomfortable position on the sofa next to her.

We cut to the ball, where the string ensemble is rocking out some Billie Eilish. I listen to this cover way too often, you guys. There’s Skip-To-My-Lou dancing and peacocks, so you know this party is fancy. Oh, there’s also parrots. Daphne has a hair feather and- STOP THE PRESSES! You guys!!! Simon is wearing a cravat! This must be the most formal event we have seen, save for the square dance that is going on. Lord Weaver comes over to add his name to Daphne’s dance card and Simon raises his voice theatrically to bemoan the fact that she doesn’t give him every ounce of her attention. She flirts that he must want a promotion before wandering away.

Oh wait, she’s already dancing with this guy now. They are waltzing (off the beat, which drives me a bit nuts) as she tries to make conversation and Simon prowls the perimeter of the room. She spins away from Weaver and I guess we are in one of those ‘terrible speed dating’ montages from romcoms now. One guy loves to talk about all the land he owns, one is a mama’s boy. She makes crazy eyes at Simon as Ladies Bridgerton and Danbury stand near a birdcage and gossip about how in luuurrrve those two are. What is the theme of this ball? Daphne jokes that she would rather hook up with Genevieve DeLaCroix than any of those dudes. Same, girl.

The Queen enters in a Scary Spice wig and with a cute blonde dude on her arm. Thankfully, the Feather-Sisters are here to let us know that this is the Prince. Pen is in the background near another birdcage, and while I don’t think we saw her doing that in episode two, I will try to be better about noting it, since it is an excellent choice that Nicola has made in the past. Saphne flirt adorably and watch as Cressida, in an inexplicable hairstyle, bows to the Prince and gets a kiss on the hand. Simon mentions that he can tell the Prince just told Cressida that her gown is exquisite and Daphne questions him as the Prince moves away from her. A moment later, the Queen is introducing Prince Fredrick to Daphne herself, ‘the diamond’. He tells Daphne her gown is exquisite and Daphne snort-laughs at him. Hee. The Queen leads Fredrick away as Daphne and Simon get right back to flirting. A dude who I think is Lord Cho comes over and asks her to dance before leading her away with a side eye toward Simon.

Across town, Genevieve is closing up her shop for the night when she hears a noise in the back. She picks up a pair of scissors (good girl!) and calls out before seeing it’s just Anthony’s opera-singin’ lovah, Sienna. Gen immediately drops her French accent (hee!) and scolds Sienna for scaring her. They start drinking and talking shit about Anthony and how Sienna will have a new sugar daddy soon enough. They then talk shit about Cressida, and I could get down with the idea of these two just getting drunk and ragging on every main character once an episode I think. Gen offers to make Sienna a dress out of the same fabric as Cruella’s Cressida’s, but Sienna instantly goes the ‘I’m a whore, so I can only wear black or red’ route. She’s not. That. Innocent. She will find a rich man who will let her spend his money on black dresses and never cares about his family like that stinky Bridgerton boy who was making time with her. What’s his name- Andrew?

We cut to approximately seventy-three men crowded around a card table playing a dice game. Dang, the desperation to not be around women for a couple hours is intense I guess. Anthony, Simon, and Feather-Baron are all there. Archie thinks Anthony is cheating and Anthony calls Archie out on his gambling addiction (foreshadow!) as the Feather-Baron glowers at them. Simon is happy that Anthony isn’t being an insufferable prick at the moment. They argue back and forth a bit about Simon’s intentions towards Daphne, which he says are respectful. A secret bookcase door opens (I’ve always wanted one of those!) and in parade a bunch of courtesans, including Sienna, who’s dressed in red. Wait, is this at the party? I assumed because Simon is still wearing a cravat, but maybe it isn’t. I don’t know, but Anthony makes like Snagglepuss and exits stage right just as Sienna saunters over to the Duke. They openly flirt while Ant watches on. She basically tells Simon that if he watches her sing tomorrow night, she will fuck him. Oops, she did it again!

Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think Anthony will be very calm and level-headed about this.

Daphne is tossing and turning and thinking about spoon-licking. Or maybe that’s just me? She makes her way downstairs and is spotted by Anthony. She invites him to join her in the kitchen for some warm milk. It’s unfair to say this, because Jonathan Bailey has chemistry with everyone, but these two are so good together.

Cut to them both staring at the stove, not having any friggin’ idea of how to operate it at all, as Daphne stands there with two little jugs of milk. Hee. They argue back and forth over which one of them should know how to do this, when they are obviously both proper ladies who don’t know nothin’ bout starting no burners. They will instead drink it cold. Way to problem solve, Daph!

She asks Ant to hum a few bars with regard to Simon, so that she may pick out the tune of ‘Hot Duke With Daddy Issues In C Minor’ the next time she hears it. Anthony first tries to tell her that her sweet little virginal ears can’t hear why he won’t marry, but he relents pretty quickly and tells her about the Douchke and Sarah, his dead mom who died. Daphne proclaims it’s very sad (word), but Anthony insists Simon prefers to have no on in his life and to not worry her pretty little crimpy-looking head about it. Sometimes people are not meant to be together, as much as they may wish otherwise. He almost made it through a whole conversation without making it about him. Oh Ant, it may seem like a crush. But it doesn’t mean she’s serious.

Dame Julie voiceovers that appreciation of the arts is what lifts humans above animals. Well, that and an appreciation for Kendrick Lamar. Julie tells us there’s a new wing opening at a museum and then tells us that Marina will be there, recovered from her mysterious illness. On rewatch, it becomes so obvious that this is Penelope. Who was talking about her being sick? Even Colin barely noticed that, and he is trying to sail his vessel in.

Oh, ew. Sorry ‘bout that.

Gen is measuring Marina at Feather-House and mentions her measurements may have been off as she tries to truss her up like a Thanksgiving bird. Portia mentions that Marina loves cake ( I bet she does), and it occurs to me I should maybe have a Cake As Sex metaphor counter. I think I will start one! Feather-Mom says Marina is going on a diet.

We swoop over to the art gallery thing. Her comes the Feather-Clan. Pen’s in yellow (she says hello, come sit next to me ya fine fellow) and looks adorable. Portia pushes Pip and Pru in front of the visiting Prussian Prince and they promptly prostrate themselves as he barely passes glances at them. Here comes the Ladies Cowper in their intricate braids and even more intricate social etiquette as Cressida steps on a purple-dyed pump and practically throws an elbow in order to get to the Permed Prussian Prince. Dame Julie tells us a language tutor has been hanging out at Cowper house, implying that it is so Cressida can learn German. Viel durst!

We are inside with the Bridger-Fam now! There’s little Greg! I love him so much, you guys. Violet is arm in arm with Anthony, and immediately starts calling out qualifications for passing ladies like she’s on QVC and needs to sell something in the next ten minutes. Anthony brushes her off as his brothers giggle behind their backs. As soon as he walks off, Vi tries to grab Benedict and then Colin in succession, because those grandbabies aren’t going to birth themselves, boys!

That was a cute scene, and it leads into a cute scene transition as Anthony walks past Pen and El staring up at a large painting of naked ladies. Pen calls it familiar, and El points out that is because all paintings are about naked ladies because men blah blah blah. Penelope turns and sees Marina being dragged by and mouthing for help. Pen excuses herself to attempt to go help her as Portia presents Miss Thompson to an old Lord who is chatting with the Feather-Baron. This guy looks like a cross between Jim Broadbent and Jeffrey Jones. How unfortunate. Marina snaps at him pretty quickly and Penelope quickly insinuates herself into the mix. Portia tries to distract Pen, but Marina holds onto her and continues snapping at Lord Broadbent who is currently trying to purchase her. Said Lord huffs and puffs and wanders off to find another young girl whose mouth has already been sewn shut but whose vagina is still open for business. Portia calls Penelope a meddlesome little wench (ooh, avast ye matey!), and tells Marina she doesn’t understand that she will be pushing a baby out of her in a pretty short time period. She stomps off.

Benedict is giving a rather withering look to a painting before turning to Lady Danbury. Yay! Aga-dict lives on! And I might need to work on that ship name. Ben and his blue velvet coat announce that the work is cold and lacking spirit. There’s another man just on the other side of Lady Danbury, so you know where this scene is going. Benedict continues that the painting should have been skyed, which Google tells me is a regency-era tradition of hanging art work floor to ceiling, the top ones being the hardest to see. Thanks, Google! Lady Danbury turns directly to the other man and asks him why his crappy painting isn’t higher on the wall and therefore easier to ignore. Benedict sputters and Agatha giggles and Mr. Granville runs off to find his wife. Sure, buddy. Ben calls Lady Danbury diabolical. Just kiss already! She says that was hilarious and saunters off.

Elsewhere, Prince Frederick is extricating himself from conversation with Cressida and her mom to follow Daphne. He tells her the art is not the only beautiful thing on display. Dude, take it down a notch. He tries talking to her about travel and music, but she spots Simon out of the corner of her eye and gets completely distracted. She blows off the Prince to follow Simon. She checks her hair at the last moment, which is great. Daphne saunters in and opens with a crack about Lady Whistledown as she stands next to him but facing the other wall. This scene is so well shot and choreographed.

They talk more about how they have everyone fooled into thinking they are a thang. He openly flirts with her as she turns to face the same painting he has been looking at. She is surprised to see this was donated by him. Simon tells her the other things he loaned out were the Douchke’s, but this one was Dead Lady Sarah’s. Daphne talks about how it feels like the best part of waking up (not Folgers in your cup, apparently), and then we get the famous shot of their hands inching toward each other. Wait, she was wearing gloves when she came into this room. The gloves are gone now! They touch hands, and the way Daphne reacts you would think his fingers went under her dress. They hear a noise in another room and pull apart and go to investigate.

Cressida has swooned and is now on the floor, with the Prince holding her. Pru and Pip are there expositing about how romantic it is as Anthony, Pen and El all look on, clearly thinking otherwise. Simon leans in to Daphne and says they need to up their game, which makes her laugh.

Outside, Simon is in a full-on stride to his carriage, where the footman reminds him about the opera. Simon looks back towards Daphne and decides to go home and make an appointment with his hand instead. Later that evening, a man comes into Sienna’s dressing room and informs her he’s locking the doors. She questions whether there is anyone loitering around and that’s a no. She sits at her vanity in her red dressing gown. Oh, he made her believe they’re more than just friends.

Dame Julie voiceovers that debutantes need to all be muti-talented; witty, musical, chatty, and an expert in ‘the art of the swoon’. Roll credits! We see Cressida walking arm in arm with the Prince as her mom herself swoons over Lady Whistledown’s paper. We cut over to the palace, where Charlotte and Frederick are eating breakfast outside as Julie continues that Daphne doesn’t seem to give a crap about the Prince. Charlotte is pissed, and tells Frederick that it needs to be Daphne, because she’s the diamond. ‘Charm her!’ she orders.

Daphne is playing the piano as Benedict draws (yay!) and tears a sheet out of his sketch pad and crumples it up. El begs her sister to stop playing the same four notes over and over again. Daphne needles her, saying she will need to be better soon since she will need to find a husband before too long and El snaps that she should keep playing and scare away all the boys. Daphne correctly tells El she can go read outside, but El ate her bran flakes this morning, because her ass is twitching. Is reading bad? Because it will not get her a husband? Why is it bad that she wants to nurture her mind, huh?! Can someone get Eloise a gummy please? She’s stressing me out. Daphne finally snaps back at El for being self-involved and having no empathy. Word. El rolls her eyes, but attempts to make conversation about the tune Daphne has been picking out (the one from her dream sequence by the way), but even then she gives an order that she needs to name it if she’s going to play it. I want Daphne to smack her.

Over on the set of ‘Les Miserables’, Portia is getting out of a carriage in head-to-toe teal crushed velvet. Yeah, that won’t draw attention at all. She looks particularly like Belle Watling here. Pat yourself on the back if you got that reference. Marina climbs out after her, and we all know where this scene is going too, don’t we? Lady Featherington says this will be Marina’s future. A woman throws a bucket of water, there are trash cans fires, kids are sprawled out on the uneven cobblestone. Come on captain, you can wear your shoes. Marina spits that she ain’t scared of these day players and their Cockney accents. She mentions George, and says she has written to him. Portia points out that men are idiots and don’t understand how babies are made, and Marina stomps back to the carriage.

Back over in the technicolor side of London, Cressida sits under a tent at the park, sipping tea with the Prince. Ladies Danbury and Bridgerton are walking along the serpentine, and Violet calls Lady Cowper horrid. Word. Then we notice that Simon and Daphne are ambling behind them. I’m going to give him credit for wearing a cravat here I think. It’s borderline, at least. Daphne is laughing about Anthony letting a farm animal into their dormitory at school. Did I not call this in the first episode? It always comes down to pig-fucking. Daphne mentions that Violet told her one should marry their dearest friend (drink!) Simon makes a pitch for Santhony, which I’m not opposed to. She asks if marriage is about friendship, as if he knows. The Duke says it is a good start and they wade into a war metaphor that goes on for a while and then they spot a herd of Top Hatters. He makes a show of giving her a rose, but she’s still wanting to know about marriage. Sweetie, he hasn’t been married. Why are you asking him? Although we know why. Let us roll right into The Masturbation Scene, shall we?

Simon says marriage has elements that are physical and intangible, but Daphne knows her vocabulary and says that can’t be. He laughs and she whacks him with her flower and calls him beastly. He rightly says girls should be allowed to know what married couples get up to. Daphne says moms don’t tell them anything and Simon says he can’t, which she challenges. She uses the out of ‘they aren’t really courting, so this isn’t scandalous’ to get him to spill the beans. He continues to say he can’t tell her and then she finally gets in his face and calls him Simon and he relents. He says that what happens between a husband and a wife is a continuation of what happens at night, when she is alone. When she’s sleeping? No, when she touches herself. Daphne stares at him blankly, and he leans in closer and tells her that when she is alone, she can touch herself. When she finds something she likes, she should keep doing it until she reaches ‘a pinnacle’. She looks stricken. He turns. ‘Come’, he instructs and wanders off. Yes, sir.

Now he’s in a carriage with Lady Danbury, who promptly hits him with her cane. She wants to know the 411 on him and Daphne. He demurs and Danbury points out that the Prince is now into Daphne too and if he fucks that up for her, Agatha will be pissed. He argues that Daphne is not an idiot, and Lady Danbury says he’s being cruel and she taught him better than that. He sits with that.

We cut to El, smoking on the swings again. Here comes Ben. He sits next to her and she hands her cigarette over. She says she found his art in the fireplace and he accuses her of spying. She calls him too boring to spy on. He says his drawings suck and she immediately makes it about her. He is a man and he can hire someone to teach him how to draw. She points out that Lady Whistledown is a great writer, but needs to hide herself. Ben correctly points out it’s for self-preservation, since Whistledown says things about the Queen.

El says women have nothing and men have everything, so Ben should be bold so she can live vicariously through him. He asks if she’s Lady Whistledown, and she says no, but she wouldn’t admit it even if she was. I wanted to like that scene more than I did. El is correct, but she just needs to take it down a notch, please. I don’t like the real world feelings of anxiety and dread slipping into my cute, escapist sex drama, thank you very much.

Daphne is majorly fidgety as she locks her bedroom door and climbs onto the bed. She looks at her flower and thinks about Simon and her hand wanders. She seems to finish pretty fast, all things considered. Then, she’s at the piano and is playing her same Simon piece from before. Violet waits until she stops and then says ‘You finished, how lovely’. A-hyuck a-hyuck.

Then we are outside the ice cream shop, where Simon is waiting for her. She joins him and starts excitedely making plans for their day when he cuts her off. He is done. Man, Lady Danbury really got to him. He is a rake and she has a Prince on the line now. She appeals to their friendship and he looks at her. ‘We were never friends. I do not believe there could be a more ridiculous notion than that of us ever being friends’. Ouch. He calls her a pretty convenience, but they both need to move on. Oh, he White Fanged her! She is sad.

Simon stomps into his house and tells the assembled staff that they need to leave quickly as Daphne runs up the Bridger-Home staircase in tears with Rose trailing behind her.

Then we are over with Sienna lip-synching her little whoreish heart out at the concert hall. Everyone is literally chatting over the top of her. That seems a bit rude. She sings loud enough to get everyone to finally shut up and watch her. Her dress is pretty. I wonder if it’s the one Gen made her. After the performance, the same guy from earlier comes into her dressing room to tell her she has a visitor and in trots Anthony. I forgot he was in this show! She is instantly icy toward him, and you can tell she means it, because she’s back in red again. He says he wanted to see her and she correctly says he sees her to escape his own life. She has plans to go dance in a space station. Anthony says she’s trying to use Simon to make him jealous. Does she know about Santhony? Hmm. She says the Duke is way awesomer than Anthony, but he hasn’t been by to see her. Anthony misses her. He gets all up in her personal space and kisses her before she pushes him away and says she’s not falling for that one again. She stomps upstairs, leaving him behind.

We are over at Feather-House, where Pen is once again watching for the mail. Wonder why she’s so invested in Marina and George. Funny, that. She seems pretty despondent, but then perks up at one of the envelopes on the silver tray and bounds up the stairs as well as a four-eleven human can. She bursts into Marina’s room and holds the letter up. Marina reads it to herself as Pen stands in front of her, begging her to share what it says. A moment later, Marina crumples the letter up and falls to the bed. Pen guesses he’s been wounded, but Marina says he wrote that George wants nothing to do with her. She’s very snotty in this scene. As in full of mucus, not as in being a brat. Although she is kind of always that, too. She wails as Pen picks up the letter. We cut over to Portia and Varley, who seem quite pleased. We get a sepia-toned flashback of Mrs. Varley forging the letter. This woman is so talented, you guys. She can do everything. Back in the present, Portia says Marina was going to have to learn that men are scum and George will never come collect her. She then tells Varley to re-draw her eyebrows, or she will look surprised all day long. Hee!

We are at the modiste with Daphne and Violet. Lady Cowper and Cressida are in the front room, watchin’ the swatches. Lady Cowper comes in and wants to talk about how it is so great about Daphne and the Duke, because that means Cressida can have the Prince, saying Cressida may have a fortune, but Daphne has the face. Did she just call her daughter an uggo? Both Vi and Daph look rather ill.

Daphne strides into her room with Rose on her heels again, and she is ready to steal Cressida’s man out from under her now. She’s wearing the white dress and the flowers in her hair.

We are with Anthony in his study, as Violet comes in and asks if he is going to the ball. He is. She gives him a list of women. I guess she’s moved from QVC to more of a catalog situation. He blows her off. She asks after the pocket watch he was looking at a second ago. You know, the one that was his father’s? The Viscount? He cottons on pretty quickly and tells her it’s quarter to. She says it’s quite late (get it?) and then says time is of the essence. Why, exactly?

Then we are at the ball, which is very flowery. The Queen looks bored in a lilac-colored wig as Cressida dances with the Prince. Cressida is in another painful-looking hairstyle as her mother calls her a Princess from the sidelines.

The Feather-Clan descends the staircase to the party, where Marina is immediately asked to dance. Simon and Lady Danbury stand nearby and she calls him out on being quiet. Guys, he’s wearing a cravat again! He’s leaving England early. She calls him foolish. Maybe if you hadn’t spooked him like a horse, Agatha…

And then here is Daphne, in all her glittery, curly glory. Violet asks if she feels okay, and Daphne lies that she feels exceptional. She goes out to the staircase, where everyone looks up at her. Her fan is very feathery, and she starts using it as she descends. The Prince is staring at her and leaves poor Cressida in the dust to go attend to Daphne. There’s Pen again, right behind him. Simon is watching. The Prince asks for her first dance and she says it would be an honor and then oh so delicately drops her fan. She’s very good, you guys. Frederick bends to retrieve it as everyone looks on. Dame Julie comes back to tell us that the diamond might be added to the crown jewels and that Simon is soo jelly. Simon walks out as Lady Danbury and Penelope watch with worry. Julie asks why Daphne should settle for a Duke when she can have a Prince?

Why indeed.

gifs are from: https://dailybridgerton.tumblr.com/post/738545077503377408

[ryn-loves-cheese]

Hi! ৻(•̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)⊹｡ Welcome to my tumblr page! I’m Ryn I go by they/them! And I’m pansexual/demiromantic

fandoms I draw for:

•demon slayer

•jujutsu Kaisen

•spyxfamily

•sk8 infinity

•Tokyo revengers(haven’t finished the show yet)

•httyd

•the owl house

•mincraft

•the Magnus archives(haven’t finished the podcast yet)

•DND

•hazbin hotel

•sky: children of light

•Ramshackle

•bungo stray dogs

•Sanrio

•Luigi’s mansion

•Pokémon

•Kirby

•Arcane

•splatoon

•doctor who

•the apocathary diaries (haven’t finished the show yet)

•yaeklore

•castle

•house MD

•bones

•gravity falls

•the outsiders

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN, no ocs right now sorry]

☀️I TAKE ART REQUESTS☀️I can’t promise I’ll get to them but if you have any do send bc my ass always has art block- ill be doing two at a time at most

I will draw your ocs or any characters I’m okay with ships but i can say no if I’m uncomfortable with the ship that also goes for any other drawing I can refuse if I’m uncomfortable

Things I’m ok with:

oc x oc

oc x canon character (no minor x adults)

Canon character x canon character (DEPENDING ON THE SHIP)

Chibi characters

Regular animals: parrots, cats, dogs, lizards, snakes, fish, tigers, chickens, anything like that

food

mild gore or candy gore

any of the things on that list I will draw :]

Things I’M NOT OKAY with drawing! You will be blocked if you ask for some of these things! (Also this is a DNI list for some things):

proshipping(minor x adult) -immediate block don’t bother following me

racist or homophobic or transphobic don’t follow me istg

NSFW

heavy and graphic gore

Anthro/furries (i don’t have a issue with them i just don’t know how to draw them)

mechanical or mecha stuff (idk how to draw this)

any depiction of ‘Yandere’ or unhealthy toxic relationships that shits not welcome here

‼️this should also be clarified i will NOT draw ANY nsfw or suggestive material i may make jokes but don’t ask it of me i don’t mind blogs with mildly suggestive material follow me along as its not straight up nsfw. I’ve seen a few blogs like that follow me but general rule of thumb here DNI if you are a blog that has graphic nsfw art or material it’s just weird I’m a minor it’s not hard to understand you’ll be blocked :3 Ty for reading‼️

this is my oc ryn!

my moots/freinds :]

@bin-s0 (lovely artist and very sweet :] and my bf they are literally one of my favourite people 🩷🩷🩷)

@boo-simplified (also a banger artist and a very wonderful friend i know them irl and they are so goddamn nice✨)

@mercurymaceo ( EDIBLE ART. Need I say more! And a very close friend ⭐️✨)

@kimetsu-chan (LITERALLY SO SWEET OMG 💖💖very pretty art and a good writer)

@thesilliersakura (ART IS VERY SILLY AND ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS and very silly freind)

@swisscheeselovers-blog (he is another close irl friend of mine dose some silly doodles once and a while. SO FUNNY ONG very goofy and silly friend 🫶💖)

@shycroissanti (some more edible art has one of the silliest ocs ever and is so nice!)

@clownpalette (ART IS SO SILLY AND CUTE!!!)

@aceofstars0 (so sweet makes some SCRUMPTIOUS ART- I wanna eat it please follow them :] )

@rion-isnot-an-ai (yet another underrated artist who is also very nice! Makes lovely art!)

@silas-png (bro im bouta eat your art if you’re not careful THE RENDERING THEY DO IS JUST 😭💖✨🤌)

@pearlymoonn (OMG they are so nice iv spoke with them before and they’re lovely fncndhshchvu they make very cute art!)

@scrimblyscrorblo (very silly doodles iv spoken with them a couple of times and i absolutely adore they’re art its so goofy and cute and are also very nice 🫶)

@delirious-dan (THE ART <3 so good and they are very silly and cool)

ANYWAY VERY SILLY MOOTS GO FOLLOW EM :D

thanks for reading and welcome to my blog :]

divider creds to:

@cafekitsune

my art tag is #Ryn’s art 💜

[fruitless-vain]

Oooooookay here comes the rant post

What happened: jacks old coworker had a series of unfortunate events happen that resulted in them being homeless and jobless. We offered a place to stay first month rent free while they get a job, $200 a month after the fact just to cover absolutely bare bones basics so they can save up and move out quickly. Started out with him putting on a great people pleasing act and quickly turned in to a nightmare.

Ye animal related rant list:

Given explicit instructions not to do xyz with Yoshis because she is a service dog that cannot get in to these bad habits. One moment I see him telling her to eat something off the floor, I pick up the item and politely tell him she’s not allowed to do that since scavenging while she’s on the job at a restaurant would get us kicked out. I reward her for not eating the thing, turn my back for two minutes just to hear him whispering “eat it, take it, you can have it” once again encouraging her to eat off the floor

Initially I was letting her follow him downstairs, whatever, dudes going through a bad time and a happy dog makes anyone better. Until I learned he had been feeding her HUGE doses of food off his plate I’m talking larger than her entire meal and was feeding things that are outright toxic for dogs. I only found that out because Yoshi would throw up in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. Asked him and sure as shit feeding her toxic things.

Repeatedly got in the way of Yoshi retrieving medications as well as actively trying to distract her while she was doing DPT for a medical episode.

On the first day I told him it’s hormone season for the parrots they are aggressive and sensitive right now please just ignore them, don’t interact with them at all, it will make things so much worse and someone will get bit. A couple days later he taunts Newt by wagging his fingers in front of him deliberately trying to set him off, I immediately tell him to stop in a very stern sharp tone, he blatantly ignores me, I have to raise my voice to get this grown ass man to stop harassing Newt. This disregard resulted in Newt flipping so bad he is now totally unhandleable I have to wear bulky headphones a loose sweater and a hood because he will launch to bite anyone to moves right now. Thanks for that genius.

Explained how scents will kill the birds, please smoke outside away from any open windows, wash your hands// air off before going near the bird room so the smoke residual doesn’t kill my pets. Does a mostly okay job at smoking away from windows, for whatever reason thinks smoking outside open doors is fine though? No attempt to ensure he doesn’t reek of cigarette before going down near the bird room. No effort not to kill my animals.

All my animals are clean and well maintained to the best extent an animal can be. He will pet sham then immediately make a snarky statement about him being gross or having to wash his hands now bc gross, smell his hands and huff away to wash his hands before resuming something dramatically. Just don’t pet him then? He’s a dog.

Finances:

We paid for everything for the first chunk with 0 need for payback because we wanted to help him out. Get some new clothes, the basic hygiene stuff, cover one tank of gas so he can hand out resumes. A startup base to get back on your feet with. Anything past that point that he asks for from us was agreed upon to be paid back whenever possible. He owes us over $1000 currently and has paid us $10 to take off of that debt. It’s been two months, he got a job within the first week. The only other payment has been the $200 rent agreed upon for the second month. Anything else he has ever “attempted” to pay us back with he would ask for it back within 8 hours.

Which wouldn’t be the biggest issue if not for the fact that: he has gone out drinking at bars every weekend, got a new girlfriend and has been buying her stuff/ giving her gas money/ paying her bills just for funsies, he started eating out and refusing to make food with the Free Stuff We Supply. He has the money to spend and pay us back. He just won’t.

Wasting, Everything. He showers twice a day every day. Our water bill has gone up $150 on his water usage alone. He will make a huge plate of food then just leave it sitting out all night and throw it away. He will cook 6 eggs at a time for himself then not finish it consistently. Make Less Next Time or USE THE FRIDGE.

He leaves every single light on and I don’t mean oops I left it on when I came upstairs and forgot. I mean he will leave at night to go to the bar and leave four lights on, the computer running and everything on high to go out for 4-6 hours. I am now acting like the parent of a child having to listen for his car driving away to go down the stairs and shut everything off god forbid my hydro bill pay the price and the birds be stuck with lights blaring keeping them awake.

We are flat broke right now, we have run ourselves dry, we made it very clear that past the first batch of purchases we got for him his expenses were his responsibility. He has asked for gas money every week since the start. He will make up some story about his car just burning through gas “it must be broke !” “Just filled it now sure how this happened???” For the first bit we went along with it adding it to list he owes us for but it quickly became a clear habit so we stopped. IMMEDIATELY started guilt tripped and being manipulative about it. Sending pictures of a car on E on the road after we said no, going “well where’d that 10$ I gave you go?????” Being super pushy and not taking No I don’t have money to give You as an answer.

Keeps wanting to do the grocery shop with this undertone of “I want to do the shop without you there so I can over buy things we don’t need and you’ll have to foot the bill for it” constantly mentioning things like expensive meats he wants to eat, buying excess of things we already have in the house, brands and things we cannot afford. Initially I interpreted his offers as kind like oh this is a hard task for me he wants to help! But this one day he was supposed to do it but we were out of pizza sauce and I was literally in the middle of prepping the dough so I just ran out and did it. He was So Mad that he didn’t get to do it like sir? Wtf was so important about groceries that I’ve foiled your plans here? What the HELL were you going to do?

Jack also smokes, if you buy x amount of cartons you get them cheaper so they were going to buy x amount and split the bill together. Dude smoked like 5/6 cartons all by himself. To add to this I have found his cigarettes all over my front yard from him smoking in his car and throwing it in to the grass, also some left at the side door instead of the ashtray that’s right the fuck there. On top of that half of these are still like full cigarettes? Just completely wasting shit that’s already a chaotic price for a habit he certainly can’t afford.

Habits:

We’ve had alcohol sitting in our house since our wedding. We don’t drink much but every now and then we celebrate something and have a nice night together. It’s nice having the booze sitting there for those random times we can have some fun without spending any money cause it’s already here. He drank a full bottle of vodka, rum, gin, kahlua, and wine within the second week of being here. It was all gone in a night.

He is incapable of flushing his own toilet. Every morning after he leaves for work I have to do the round shutting off the lights and discovered that he just leaves his shit to ferment all day long. There is piss splash all along the seat and surrounding floor. It reeks like a porta potty. It’s fucking disgusting.

Lies about it every tiny little thing, pretended I just didn’t buy two chocolate bars I mustve only gotten one and that’s why only one is in the pantry now. I found the wrapper on the floor of his room for that bar. Says he’s staying in this weekend doesn’t want to go out drinking can’t afford it then immediately goes out. Says he has no money for gas he can’t be doing anything then goes to drive to a fro around town for no reason other than to just drive.

Gotta love the casual bragging about all the “chores” he’s done so we should be grateful (he washed his own frying pan he used and the whole house needed to know about it)

Weaponized incompetence. Ohh I didn’t know the dishwasher was clean! There’s a giant sign on the front that says clean. Deliberately messing up cookies he wanted to make four times for his coworkers so that I would have to do it for him (that didn’t work, enjoy bringing gross cookies in, magically he made them perfectly the next time)

My all time favourite of “I think I’ll do X!” And then standing in the kitchen staring at me waiting for me to get up and do it for him. Boy does he every huff and puff when I do not move and just go “enjoy” when he starts asking 20 questions back to back to trigger me to just do it myself it’ll be easier I instead just go “idk” “try asking google”. Suddenly he’s capable of doing the thing with no further questions.

Claims to be a neat freak, will make an underhanded comment about dog fur or a bird poop on the couch or some other very small not a big deal thing then fails to even keep his bedroom clean. I have had to clean up sticky coffee spills from the hallway, deep clean the stair he covered in mud and clay, his room has no visible floor, need I mention the state of that bathroom again? Neat freak my ass you just want to complain and talk shit without sounding rude?

Dramatic gagging sounds whenever he sees a bird poop. Pretended to “help” by picking up a dog poop (which we didn’t ask him to do it’s our dog we’ll clean it) and then dramatically fake vomiting the entire time until one of us walked over took the bag from him and did it. Our dogs are on raw, the poops are small and have very minimal smell. No one asked him to do this if you were truly this bothered by poop you would just not. You just wanted to make a scene. About how Gross our animals are cause that seems to be all you do in a day.

Keeps going out the side door to smoke in the middle of the night then not locking the door when he comes back in.

Goes out every night drinking then spends all day bitching about not getting enough sleep

OH MY GOD I can only take Advil for my migraines bc of my heart medication. We have Tylenol for everyone else. HE TOOK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF ADVIL IN ONE FUCKING NIGHT. So I’ve been stuck with debilitating pain and no pain relief because it’s expensive as fuck. The bottle of Tylenol was also half chugged down by the next weekend. We will not be buying more.

Any and all leftovers I have from cooking for myself and Jack (I cook meals for all of us if he’s home but if he’s not I won’t bc who knows what time he’ll show up) he just eats without even asking. Most of the time the leftovers are for my flare up days so I can eat when I’m in pain. He’s been told this. He doesn’t care. If there is food pre made he will consume all of it it doesn’t matter if it’s way too much for one person to eat. He’ll just leave it out all night for a week to rot in the basement. Otherwise the only thing he will cook for himself is eggs. Expensive. We no longer buy eggs he can buy his own to feed that expensive diet choice.

Common sense not to use metal on things like frying pans and baking sheets. I inform him of this anyways, do not cut directly on my pizza pans. It will make them rust and no longer be non stick. These are new. Don’t damage them. He was supposed to be home for home made pizza, didn’t show until like 2am. I left cooking instructions with the dough pre set up for him just need to put on toppings bake and serve. I left a note saying “do NOT cut on tray” he cut on the tray. This was the second time. Both trays are permanently damaged. My notes were found in the oven burnt. Thanks for the fire hazard.

Complains about there being insects in the basement (there’s the occasional spider and we’ve had some rain so the occasional little wood bug is piping up the escape the rain) it just needs to dry and they’ll be gone. It’s a basement. There’s gonna be some spiders n shit. Bitched about there being ants. I’ve never had ants in this house anywhere, lo and behold leaving his food out all over the damn room attracted them. Told him this fact. He goes no it couldn’t possibly be that and demands to use chemicals (bird death so NO). Eventually got him to bring up his dishes and BEHOLD the ants are all gone.

Bitched about it being cold in the basement, (it’s warm enough for my tropical parrots?) we bought a second space heater for him. Yet he doesn’t use the spare blankets down there at all, still complains about it being cold. It’s the pit of summer. I’m not turning the central heating on??? Use the damn blankets????? Move the space heater closer to you????? Close your bedroom door??????????? This space heater has been left too close to flammable objects on no less than four occasions so far. It’s like he wants my house to burn down.

He kept wanting to be involved and help the house so we were having a bbq and asked him to pick up some small things we needed like a case of beer and some buns. He left and never showed back up. He then ate the leftovers of five burger patties and seven hotdogs which we were hoping to eat after pride all in one sitting for breakfast.

Ah yes, continuously eating the last of something and informing no one that it’s gone. Had no pickles for the bbq cause he ate them without telling anyone, numerous times I’ve been ready to do something just to find out there’s no cheese in the fridge bc he failed to notice it used the last of it and replace it with one we have in the freezer, eating all the prepped ingredients and putting empty containers in the fridge. It’s not hard to tell someone something is getting low, add it to the list, write it down, or literally anything other than eat the last of it and make it someone else’s problem later

Anywho this whole setup is shit, if we don’t get money by his next check we’ll be cutting ties and telling him to find a new place by the end of the month. This is getting ridiculous. Every day he’s asking for money while talking down to us and talking shit about our pets or our home all the while making no effort to pay what’s owed.

[flock-talk]

I have been trying to find pellet food brands for budgies, but in my country there are two brands of pelleted bird food: Versele laga Nutribird and a brand called Nutripro Bird. The issue with the budgie food of nutribird is that it uses coloured pellets, which can be damaging for the birds' kidneys. The issue with Nutripro Bird is that it apparently contains garlic according to the ingredients and I've read on multiple websites that this is toxic and can cause anemia in budgies. So, I'm conflicted. It's not common here to feed birds pellet food, but apparently feeding only seeds, veggies, and fruits isn't a complete diet and they need pellets, but the available pellet options don't look very good. I'm thinking of going ahead and buying coloured pellet option anyway, but I'm also worrying about it giving birds kidney damage.

If I was in your position and those pellets were my only choices I would opt to make my own seed mix instead. Budgies in particular are very heavy grass seed foragers to begin with which makes it more likely that they can thrive on seed based diets in comparison to other parrot species.

You’ll have to do a bit of research in to healthy seeds, ones that are high in nutrients and lowest in fats, and curate your own mix. There are quite a few resources online about doing that and a vet should be able to review your mix and give input to help you out.

Along with that you will need to provide ample sprouted seeds and fresh produce to ensure you’re meeting their nutritional bases. A vet may also recommend a supplement that can be mixed with the produce to add more reliability to the nutrition they’re getting since parrots are selective eaters who won’t consume foods based on the nutrients their body is missing.

It takes a good amount of work in the beginning but once you get it all sorted out and find places to source your seeds from it’ll be pretty smooth sailing

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

Would it make any sense that humanoid looking aliens to be herbivores but still be the dominant species?

Tex: What is your personal definition of humanoid? How much of it depends on physiology similar to humans? Why is it important for you, plotwise or otherwise, to have herbivores as dominant species? How would an herbivore be a dominant species, when trophic levels rely upon carnivores, omnivores, and detritivores? A lot of these questions are interconnected, as something like bipedalism isn’t the sole cornerstone of what makes a human human-shaped (nor is opposable thumbs, speech, or other aspects).

Wootzel: It’s probably a bit less likely than having omnivorous sophonts, but wouldn’t seem implausible.

When designing a plausible intelligent species, you’ll want to think about what evolutionary pressures made such a high degree of intelligence successful. Big, hard-working brains are REALLY expensive, energy-wise. The main reason why a species will need to develop high levels of intelligence is to take advantage of a variety of food sources in a complex environment. Think of parrots and corvids--they’re not sapient, but they are very intelligent, and both have varied diets. They both take advantage of food sources that are high in protein and energy.

So, if your sapient species are herbivorous, they’ll need to have a diet of mainly high-energy food that takes brains to acquire. This will probably mean whatever their planet’s equivalent of fruits and nuts is.

Most herbivores on Earth can digest animal proteins in some form, and often will take advantage of carrion and/or opportunities to eat small animals or insects, even if they don’t hunt. It’s possible that your aliens wouldn’t, but you might want to think of some reason for them to avoid it--maybe there’s something toxic to them in most animal species? Maybe they’re evolved to eat toxins in plants to the point of relying on them, and can’t function well without specific nutrients as a result?

An herbivorous diet tends to require a longer digestive tract, so your humanoid aliens are likely to look somewhat pot-bellied by human standards, or just be built thicker in the torso to make room for more guts! This is less dramatic with a fruit/seed sort of diet, but it’s still likely to be an attribute.

Addy: Intelligent herbivores do exist - just look at gorillas! They may eat insects or snails occasionally, but most of their diet is straight plant material. Chimpanzees also mostly eat plants - they might snack on other animals when they get the chance, but that’s a very, very small portion of their diet. An extinct human relative, paranthropus robustus, was also predominantly a plant eater (https://www.ucl.ac.uk/human-evolution/news/2022/may/palaeoanthropologists-discuss-diet-paranthropus), and had a brain roughly the size of a chimpanzee’s brain. Nothing specific there, mostly pointing out another calibration point from hominid history.

So if it’s a matter of straight intelligence, then it’s certainly possible. Some of our closest living relatives eat mostly plants, after all. Parrots, too, are intelligent and incredibly social creatures that… mostly eat fruit. As Wootzel said, large brains are very energy-intensive, but that doesn’t make them impossible. Human brains take up around 19-24% of our energy expenditure, while a chimpanzee brain takes up around 9-13% of their energy expenditure (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11019715/). So roughly double, by percentages. With a fruit-based diet, I’d say that it’s doable. We also have brains that are around 3x the size of a chimpanzee or gorilla brain (1400cc vs ~400-500cc)

The big thing, I think, would be the development of adductors and gluteal muscles. To put it frankly, the human butt is quite unusual amongst primates. It’s crucial in allowing us to walk upright, keeping our torso stable and steady while our hips rotate while walking. Watch a video of a chimp walking - they kind of waddle, no?

Humans are persistence predators. We are optimized for walking long distances with little rest (lack of fur, sweat, achilles tendon, etc). That’s the hunter part of hunter-gatherer. If you’ve got a group that’s mostly just gathering, then they likely won’t have that evolutionary pressure. You can have them walk upright anyways (nature has done stranger things), but a bit of a waddle could be an interesting touch.

[nolantan]

Nolantan

Chapter 7: The jungle

They fly for a while

Slor is getting a bit restless “ Are we there yet?”

“ For the third time, no.” Said an annoyed Aurora.

" Hmmm oh look! Dense jungle straight ahead." Dponá points. She lands just outside of it. Dyani looks at the map “ We just need to go southeast for a bit then we’ll find the parrots.” He points in a direction and Dponá walks, Slor hops down from her back and stretches.

“ Maybe we should rest before we continue?” Jnoque suggests. 

Aurora disagrees “ It’s best to get there as quickly as possible we can rest when we get there.” 

“ Well one thing is for sure..” Dponá’s stomach rumbles “ I am hungry.” 

“ Same.”

“ We should have asked Diana if we could have taken some food..”

Slor looks around and sees a fern with brown leaves leaving a smoky aroma. “ What’s this? It smells good?” She touches it.

Dyani notices “ Wait, don't touch that!” 

Too late Slor’s fingers get a rash on them that stings “ Ow! Ow!” She scratches the rash.

Dyani grabs her hand “ Stop that will make it worse.” He looks to the others “ We need to find a dome-like mushroom. It's tan and usually grows on trees.” They nod and get looking.

“ What was that?!” Slor asks.

“ That as a falseflame fern touching the leaves will cause a stinging rash. The dew from the mushrooms will help soothe the irritation and help it heal faster.”

Jnoque brings a mushroom over “ Is this it?” He looks at it “ No, that's a shimmercap that is toxic.”

Aurora comes back with a mushroom. “ That’s it good job Aurora.” Aurora blushes a lot at the complement as Dyani takes the mushroom and dabs the dew on Slor’s fingers. 

“ That feels a little better.” She holds it on her fingers.

“ You know a lot about plants.” Dponá points out “ I read a lot. We also have some of these plants at home so it’s important for us to know what can be eaten or not.” He answered. “ I can help collect food.” He offers and brings out his bag to put stuff in.

The others let Dyani do his thing as he goes around collecting and inspecting plants Aurora watches in awe as he's so smart and cool she blinks and blushes a bit before shaking her head.

Jnoque is next to Slor “ How is your finger?” “ It’s feeling better.” She sighs and looks at him. “ How have you been?” “ Good, my throat is a bit sore from that white fire though.” “ Really even with your dragon form?” He nods “ Still half human I don’t really like breathing fire much…” He goes quiet being reminded of bad memories. “ I.. haven’t been back to the human village since they kicked me out..” He looks down. “ I think I remember that day. I was with my mom in the market..” She thinks. “ If it makes you feel any better, your brother lived.” Jnoque perks up and looks at her, so does Dponá “ R-Really!” Slor nods “ I see him around the village sometimes the doctors gave him a wooden arm. I haven't really talked to him, so that’s all I know.” He hugs her “ Thank you. I’m just happy he's alive.”      

Dyani comes back with lots of berries and other edible stuff. “ This is all edible, some are better cooked than others.” “ Good work Dyani!” Aurora praises. He smiles and looks at the sky “ It looks like the sun is setting. We should stop for the night, we won't be able to see much soon.” 

They stop and get sticks for a fire Dyani tries to rub two sticks together then Dponá just lights it for him. 

They rost some of the plants over the fire. Ignis and Solaris pop out “ The land is a lot different now.” “ Makes sense it has been two thousand years for you two.” Aurora points out.

“ It’s just so surreal for us. Last thing we all remember is turning into the Emberstar parts and sealing the Frostbite then blacking out and waking up like this.” Solaris nods in agreement.

 Dyani looks at the map “ I think we’ll be getting the Phoenix Feather next.” Solaris thinks “ That should be Emberion Torrent, he was a skilled archer, really loyal too.” Ignis smiles “ Ah Emberion he was one of the first to join our group, nice guy too.” He smiles at the thought. “ Whoever gets the feather will probably have archery related powers.”

“ Oh yeah we should try to use our new powers.” Jnoque looks to Aurora. “ I guess so.” They get up. “ How do we do this?” Aurora questions. “ we’re not really sure we’ve never had to do this.” Ignis thinks “ Maybe try to focus and imagine your power working.” He shrugs

Jnoque tries to focus and summons a fire sword “ Woah?! Cool!” Dponá claps. Aurora creates a black shield around herself. “ Ooo” She touches it and tries to make it bigger but struggles to and the shield falls. Jnoque tries to summon another sword but can’t and the other one flickers out.

“ Looks like you need more practice but that was a good first attempt.” Solaris smiles. Aurora yawns, “ that was a lot of energy.” “ We should turn in for the night.

Dponá snuggles with Jnoque and the others lay down and close their eyes.

>

[dr-docktor]

I'm actually really committed to this ace attorney saf crossover thing now. So I've been plaything through a couple cases to feed the obsession and I always forget how INSANE this franchise is.

one of the things I have added to this list didn't actually happen. Good luck!

Phoenix cross-examines a parrot and this somehow leads to him winning.

His assistant, Maya, can summon ghosts but she and Phoenix only use this power to summon a smarter, better lawyer.

The best assassin in the world is named SHELLY DE KILLER

Phoenix has been framed for murder by toxic partners a grand total of twice

In one such chase he ate the evidence that would've proven him innocent. Said evidence was a glass bottle necklace that contained trace amounts of poison.

Someone accidentally killed themselves by eating food THEY poisoned that was meant to kill someone else

The prosecutors get away with regularly physically harming/attacking the defense in court.

The judge doesn't know what nail polish is

The single most ironic screenshot in the whole franchise:

Phoenix's main motivation in the first game feels like he watched Legally Blonde and internalized the wrong message (quit his pursuit in an artistic field and go to law school to chase a boy)

The amount of times Miles Edgeworth gets involved in an international incident is more than one!

Franziska von Karma. End of statement.

Phoenix reveals decisive evidence to the culprit to rub it in their faces three different times. They always steal the evidence from him.

Godot. End of statement.

One of the prosecutors is on death row??? and is still allowed to prosecute?

Edgeworth tells someone with mental health issues to kill themselves as a tactic in court.

Phoenix tried to run across a burning bridge and fell 30 feet into a rapid river in the middle of winter. Somehow he survived.

The beef between people who work in kids shows is so intense, that they drop like flies and are generally involved with an absurd amount of murder trials

[trgicstar]

FIONA PALOMO. TWENTY-FIVE. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. have you heard from CECILIA SALAZAR yet? back home they’re said to work as an ONLINE ARTIST. before this trip to blackwood pines, i’ve heard that they’re known to be AMBITIOUS, LOYAL, AND ADAPTABLE. but on the downside, they’re known to be ARGUMENTATIVE, RECKLESS AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. when you think about them, you’ll probably see SCATTERED ACRYLIC PAINTS OVER THE FLOOR, A MIX OF PERFUME AND CIGARETTES ON CLOTHING, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS TURNED TO NOSTALGIC SHOWS MARATHONS, FREQUENT EXPLORATION TRIPS OF ABANDONED BUILDINGS. and because of that, i would say that they’re known to be THE ARTIST. i wonder what they’ll really think of blackwood pines after the trip is over, don’t you?

STATISTICS .

FULL NAME, AGE, GENDER : cecilia felicia salazar, twenty-five years old, ciswoman

NICKNAMES, DATE & PLACE OF BIRTH, PRONOUNS : cece, lia ( created and loved by her mother ), april 10th, los angeles, california, she/her

ORIENTATION, LANGUAGES SPOKEN : bisexual & bi-romantic, knows perfectly english & spanish, with a little bit of french, italian and korean

TATTOOS, PIERCINGS : a little bit of both worlds — cece has an eyebrow piercing that she has done in one drunken night after a dare with her friends and a bleeding moon across her back

FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS & PETS : born in a big family, cece has a few younger siblings that she hasn’t seen in years. the salazar family used to have quite a few pets over the years — from huskies to small yorkshire terrier’s, parrot and hamsters for the little ones

CHARACTER TRAITS : think of lip gallagher from shameless when you approach cece. while she can be loyal, helpful and extremely protective — when blade meets bone, she’d shrink all those positive traits and shift into something else. due to the violent waves, cece had several problems with the police but thanks to her parents, she’d always get the short stick of the punishment she deserved.

SONGS INSPIRATION : daddy issues by the neighbourhood, wires by the neighbourhood, alien blues by vundabar, hurt feelings by mac miller, toxic by boywithuke, freaks by surf curse, hayloft II by mother mother, therapy by voilà

. . .

TRIGGER WARNING : alcoholism, violent behaviour, car accident & death

cecilia salazar, daughter of constantine and maria salazar and the oldest sibling to little victor, elisa and sebastian, was born a black sheep of the family. from a young age cece was a little menace to society — she would play pranks that often got her into trouble, she was the mastermind behind revenge schemes when her family was being bothered. that behaviour was encouraged by her father constantine who wished to teach his firstborn how to protect herself, along with her younger siblings, from the cruel world that wasn’t at all within the salazar’s favour. 

the family barely survived financially, which led to each child to somehow scrape money by doing the neighbour’s chores for coins. cece was hardworking in that aspect; the survival of her family was so important to her, especially as the little ones were born, that she often ignored her own needs and wishes in order for them to have food in their bellies. elisa, victor and sebastian were her whole life; it was cecilia that changed their diapers, it was cecilia that fed them formula and it was cecilia that took them to her workplace when constantine and maria had to hop from job to job.

but as the children grew and as cece began socialising properly during, and after, school hours — things began to change. when cecilia wasn’t dealing with their, and her own, school work, she would disappear in the dead of night and return by sunrise. she was a curious thing, always drawn to new things to try, so obviously she was introduced to the world of illegal substances that shouldn’t be known outside of the parties she attended. due to the bad company she had gotten herself with, cece was often found with handcuffs and napping in a police car.

her growing violent behaviour, enhanced by her excessive drinking, only kept bringing her tickets to the station where she often was allowed out – firstly because of her parents and their growing connections, then because of herself. a police officer had taken a liking at her, so cece used that to her advantage when she had trouble. however, that did not go unnoticed by constantine and maria. arguments  were a daily occurrence in the salazar household for months; months in which cece continued drinking her school year away until she was expelled after breaking her peer’s nose.

after losing her hard work at school that promised her a bright future within the artistic world, cece barely returned home; she’d always wander the streets with her friends, do illegal activities and, you guessed, drink her days away. alcohol and cigarettes became her new essentials to survive the day and her friends encouraged that. cece lost contact with her family and often crashed out with her friends. cecilia spent two years of her life, from eighteen to twenty, in that environment. but that came to an end when, on one drunken night, cece and her close friend angie got into a car accident which left cece as the sole survivor.

survivor’s guilt didn’t mix well with her alcoholism. angie’s family blamed her for allowing their daughter to drive, cece’s family and friends comforted her that it wasn’t her fault. she listened to nobody except herself; that she was the reason angie was dead. but cece did not allow her second chance of life to go to waste and intended to live for angie. and although four years later cece was still the same troublemaker; at least she began regulating her alcohol take and began pursuing a career as an online artist. it was a slow process since cecilia wanted to work for herself, rather than for others, but she made ends meet by having different part-time jobs.

HEADCANONS : 

i. cece has a site which she uses to accept requests for drawings and uses a pseudonym until she grows the confidence to reveal herself.

ii. when her nights contain memories of the accident, she would watch marathons of old shows or explore outside. one of her most recent hobbies were travelling and exploring abandoned buildings/locations.

iii. she has a love for motorcycles because of her father so when she sees one, best bet she’d want a ride with it.

iv. she doesn’t keep contact with her friends anymore; cecilia had distanced herself from them because being around them reminded her too much of angie and she couldn’t handle that well.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS :

 i. who is cecilia salazar without her SQUAD? a group of friends that love a little bit of trouble, that love a little bit of party, explore around and just being dumb together.

ii. her CLASSMATE whose nose she broke which got her expelled. this connection is pure enemies back to back. this muse and cece cannot for the life of them get along together even for five seconds. they’ve been at it since the longest of time and, let’s be real, if cece had a chance to break their nose again — she’s taking that opportunity.

iii. her FIRST LOVE/the one that introduced cece to the world of trouble and shaped her into who she is nowadays. this one will be painful, because cecilia and this muse had an on/off relationship going on until the accident happened and cece blocked their number in order to distance herself, leaving many questions left unanswered; did cece love this muse truly or was it all the alcohol talking? who knows.

[auntie-birdie]

Since you know a lot about birds, I wanted to ask you this. Is it okay to share my own food with my parrot? Whenever I eat she gets really curious and tries to take a bite out of my food. Is there food I absolutely should not give her under any circumstances? Is it okay to give her things with cheese on them?

This is a tricky question because there's the Right answer and there's the Reality answer.

The Right answer is that your parrot should only eat what they'd eat in the wild, and pellets because it's difficult to actually provide the right balance of vitamins and minerals in captivity.

The Reality answer is that they're going to get their beaks on everything. And you're going to be tempted to share with them. And it's okay to do so in moderation.

For example, Mango freaking loves potato chips. She hears anything that remotely sounds like a potato chip bag crinkling and she loses her mind. The joy she gets from the occasional potato chip is immeasurable. I'd say she gets a potato chip once every few weeks, and she CHERISHES it. She eats it slowly, savors every little bite, even closes her eyes to (in my mind) devote all of her senses to enjoying it.

Is it good for her? Nope. Is she going to get one sometimes? Yup.

There are some things to avoid at all costs, especially including but NOT limited to chocolate. There is a lot of alarm around chocolate and for good reason! Cacao is bad for everyone, including us, in large enough doses. I will, however, admit that Mango has had an M&M before. Since it's milk chocolate, it wasn't cause for alarm—the cacao content is pretty low in a single M&M—so I didn't take it away from her. And oh boy, did she think that M&M was the greatest thing she'd ever had.

Some other no-nos would be anything with caffeine, because their hearts are already working at a high level. I've also read that onions and garlic are toxic, and I avoid them just to be safe.

Since you called it out specifically, for the record, cheese and other dairy products are going to risk giving them diarrhea because they can't process lactose. It's not going to kill your bird to have a bite of something with cheese on it! You just want to make sure she doesn't have too much.

Now, if you want to provide some fun "people" food, warm noodles are always a big hit. Birds have a poor sense of taste because they use their beak for everything, so tasting everything would be pretty awful. What they love is TEXTURE. Unflavored/unseasoned/plain rice cakes can also be a fun treat!