#food is your friend!

[stumpybelham]

Fun Facts I Have Learned In Nutrition For Foodservice Professionals

"Bread makes you fat?" NO BITCH. People want to blame the bread and the pasta and the potato for somehow being Super Fattening in and of themselves, when in reality the bread and pasta and potato are frequently used as vehicles for butter and other things that have a lot of fat and not much else in them! Whole grains are good for your guts, your heart, and lots of other parts of you! Potatoes are full of fiber and good shit! Stop slandering the poor carbs!

Yes, you do want to try and limit added sugar in your food but if that spoonful of white sugar is the difference between you eating the oatmeal that's good for your heart and guts and other bits and not eating the oatmeal? Put the sugar on your oatmeal and eat it. The healthy food you eat with a little somethin' somethin' to make it taste good is better for you than the healthy food you don't eat because it tastes like sad.

FLAVOR IS NOT YOUR GODDAMN ENEMY. Again, the nutrient-dense food with a little butter or sugar is better for you than the plain bland shit you don't eat.

For a while there people got scared of the fat in butter and started using partially hydrogenated vegetable oils instead. Then it turned out that the trans fats in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils were worse for you than butter. So... fuck it, use the butter.

Unless you're vegan! In which case use the margarine! But if you're baking with it make sure you use the stick kind because the tub kind has too much water and air in it and that will fuck up your bakes.

There are two kinds of protein: complete (which has all of the essential amino acids your body needs but can't make on its own) and incomplete (which doesn't).

Your body does not stockpile amino acids (which are the lil lego blocks proteins are made of) for later so you have to eat some protein every day.

Worse, if you don't get enough of one of those essential amino acids your body doesn't make, and your body needs to build something that needs that particular amino acid, it doesn't sub in whatever amino acids are floating around in your bloodstream. It just goes "nope, not enough leucine for this, sorry" and DOESN'T MAKE THE THING.

Worse still, if you don't eat enough carbs and fat, your body will just start burning whatever protein it can spare for fuel. Potentially, including protein that has already been used to build parts of you. Eat your fuckin carbs and good fats, or you will eat... you.

If you take an incomplete protein (say, rice) and pair it with just a little bit of complete protein, ALL the protein you're eating becomes complete.

The egg is the gold standard against which all other protein foods are measured. Eggs are p. much the perfect protein. Yeah, there's a little fat and cholesterol in the yolk but again, nutrient dense food you eat with a lil fat is better than nutrient dense food you don't eat at all.

Shrimp are high in cholesterol but APPARENTLY it's some kind of weird friendly cholesterol that doesn't hang around in your arteries?

Cholesterol ONLY comes from animal sources, anyone who's told you not to eat nuts or avocados because of the cholesterol is full of shit and you can tell them I said so.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Just your average male living space.

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[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[nights-at-crystarium]

✧✦✧ "Fragments" - episode 60 ✧✦✧

Journal.

New reader? episode list on tumblr | webtoon Read 4 more episodes: patreon | kofi

[bytebun]

my piece for @thecodywanzine! thanks to the mods who let me go completely ham and cheese on this bad boy. this one's about living longer than you ever expected and not knowing what to do with it

[cubbihue]

Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??

He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.

Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[vidkun]

chicken bake

[minusboy]

i think something that is often overlooked in conversations about platonic and romantic relationships in media and the argument that “two people can just be friends” is that a big part of being queer, for me personally at least, is that i am deeply in love with my friends and would do absolutely anything for them and this sentiment alone opposes the heteronormative idea that your friends are supposed to play a secondary role in your life after a certain point. my friends are not just my friends. they’re not just anything. they’re my friends.

[boku-no-anime-phase]

[DDD episode 11]

Momo approaching Okarun: 🤩😁🥰😄☺️

Momo being approached by Jiji: 😐🙄😑😒😮‍💨

Momo for two seconds when offered a Little Treat by Jiji: 🤩

Okarun: she's still in love with Jiji and this is proof. She likes him way better than me and he's better for her. It would be better for all of us if I quietly cut myself out of her life. I will do this on this evidence alone without consulting her and without doing any further observation or consulting with anyone,

[fictionadventurer]

Hot Tip: If you're trying to secretly commit bigamy, don't do it when your wife is hidden in the house you currently live in.

Hot Tip: If you stop an innocent girl from committing bigamy, don't leave her living alone in the house with the guy who tried to trick her into bigamy.

Hot Tip: When you're trying to convince a girl to live as your mistress, don't tell her about how you grew to hate all the other mistresses you lived with.

Hot Tip: If you leave your home and place of employment with nowhere else to go, DON'T SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY ON BUS FARE!

[guzhufuren]

[foldingfittedsheets]

My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.

On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.

You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.

To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.

That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.

So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”

I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.

Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.

I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.

My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.

The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.

I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.

Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"

Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.

The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?

The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.

Fucking Cynthia.

[old-desert]

Inktobertale 2024 Day 8: Bento

A hefty meal!

[muchmossymess]

So we know how the previous winners had a theme of not playing the game "correctly" and winning, right?

Joel and bdubs purposefully guessing pearls tasks wrong so she's safe around them and etho making half the server fail their joint task because he won't let anyone hurt his allies

[crimeronan]

severance said found family but it's horror. no no don't worry, the found family genuinely all love each other so much. it's like, super fluffy and cute how much they love each other. these guys literally only have each other in this world in the most fucked-up codependent way possible, but the love is real. no horror there!

imagine all the things we can do to them now. <3

[ladysatoru]

you know how the strawhats eat everything from dragons to sea kings to dinosaurs to weird vegetables found in different islands, if sanji wasn't extremely neat, precise and hygienic, half of the crew would've been dead already