#flower shop and tattoo parlor au

[andybug1]

the real reason that bucktommy didn’t work is bc buck would own the flower shop but tommy would NOT own the tattoo parlor in the au

[cheesecakemermaid1048]

Tbh currant cream and pastel meringue would fit the Flower shop and Tattoo Parlor AU perfectly.

[minimiaarts]

The Shadamy Flower Shop/Tattoo Parlor AU is real and rotting my every waking thought 😔🫶🏼

[i-am-church-the-cat]

I have a flower shop/tattoo parlor maxiel + loscar AU building from a tropical storm into a hurricane in my head so here are some thoughts

+ When Max hires him, this is what he says to Logan’s arrangement: “It is not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I can make it better.” What he really meant was that Max could make Logan better, but he wouldn’t come to understand that until later.

+ There’s a phone that sits on the back wall of Max’s shop. The first time it rang while Logan was working, he’d mistakenly answered it. He’d watched Max’s face go bleach white from across the shop as Logan answered “Hello, this is Verstappen’s Floral, how can I help you?” The barrage of angry Dutch he’d gotten back in return had shocked Logan into silence, making it easier for Max to steal the receiver from his hand. Now, Logan knows to just let it ring.

+ Oscar is pretty sure Daniel only gave him an interview because their moms are in a book club together. The owner of Honey Badger Tattoos was always friendly and outgoing but he was notoriously possessive about his art. In the ten years the shop has been open, it’s had four employees. Daniel Ricciardo, the founder, Daniel Kvyat, Daniel’s partner who he bought out after the first year, Lando Norris who worked part-time at the front desk, and now Oscar.

“I’ve never had an apprentice before, I probably wouldn’t be very good at it,” Daniel says during his interview. He’d said he liked Oscar’s work and already showed an interest in teaching Oscar more of his signature American style. But the guy was still hesitant, fidgeting with excess nerves. “Just ask Lando.

Lando nods from his seat at the front desk which Oscar can see from the open door of Daniel’s office. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time, I wouldn’t trust him to teach other people.”

Daniel does not look like that’s the support he was going for, wincing at the dry criticism but not arguing.

“That’s fine,” Oscar confirms with a shrug. He’s already done the majority of his apprenticeship under Mark Webber. But when the man decided he’d had enough of the South of France and was selling the shop and moving back to Australia, Oscar had to look for somewhere else to work. “I only have six months left before I can get my certification.”

Daniel doesn’t look very reassured. Oscar can take a hint so he decides to get out before he’s kicked out.

“Hey, it’s cool, mate, thanks for meeting with me anyway-”

“Can you start next week?” Daniel asks, leg bouncing up and down and rocking the desk he’s sitting behind. He sees Oscar’s confused expression and sighs. “I really need more help here.”

“Yeah,” Oscar decides, not looking a gift horse in the mouth. “I’ll text you my schedule.”

And that’s how he starts working for the Honey Badger.

+ “This is a tulip,” Max is saying in French, word draw out and pointing at the multi-colored bulbs. Logan has tried telling him that he’s lived in Europe for the majority of his life at this point and can do his job in English, French, and Spanish but Max doesn’t believe him. At least Logan’s starting to pick up more Dutch.

Logan is rescued from his impromptu language lesson by the bell on the door ringing. He turns towards the sound, customer service smile already in place.

“Hi, welcome to Verstappen Floral, how can I-”

“Oh, it is you again.”

Logan stops and looks at Max who is frowning at the guy who just came in. The man is curly-haired and tanned, with tattoos scrawled over the majority of visible skin. His grin is big and toothy when he shoots it at Max.

“Hey, Maxy, aren’t you happy to see me?”

Logan blinks in shock at the nickname. Even their regular customers don’t get to act that familiar with Max. Logan doesn’t get to act that familiar with Max.

Max crosses his arms, lips pursing. “For the last time, I do not know what these flowers mean. I speak four languages and plant is not one of them.”

“Always a ray of sunshine, aren’t you, Max?” The man asks, unphased by Max’s grouchy demeanor. He leans forward onto the glass counter, certainly leaving smudges behind, but Max surprisingly doesn’t yell at him about it. “Lando sent me to pick up his order.”

Lando is someone Logan knows. He comes in about every other week and talks to Max about streaming and video games that partly goes over Logan’s head. He always leaves with a red and white bouquet, though the flowers change each time.

“Why could he not come get them himself?” Max grumbles, heading in the direction of the cooler where they kept to-go orders. Daniel shrugs and wraps his knuckles against the glass.

"He was late for a meeting or something, you know I don’t ask about his other job,” Daniel supplies. He changes his focus to Logan and the blond is met with the full force of the man’s mega-watt smile. Logan blames his mom’s genes for how easily he blushes. “Hey, you’re the new guy, right?”

Logan opens his mouth to answer but Max is suddenly im between them, Lando’s bouquet in his hands.

“Yes, this is Logan, no, he does not want any of your garish tattoos.”

Daniel pouts at Logan’s boss. He wonders how it doesn’t look strange for a guy who’s at least 30 to be pouting.

“Don’t be mean, Maxy. I wasn’t even going to mention the tattoos.”

Logan racks his brain for tattoo shops nearby. They obviously have a close relationship outside of just Lando. And Lando did say he worked for an artist…

“Oh hey, are you the Honey Badger?” Logan asks, moving his head to be seen around Max’s wider frame. Daniel jerks his eyes away from Max’s, as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “I pass by there all the time. Not a lot of shops do American style out here.”

Daniel’s face lights up, looking between Logan and Max. “Max, you hired an American?”

Max sighs, more long-suffering than Logan thinks is necessary. “This is why I did not want you to speak with him. I knew you were going to be weird about it.”

“I’m not being weird!” Daniel argues. “I’m just surprised!”

Max and Daniel have another weird silent staring contest. Logan clears his throat reluctantly and they both snap to him.

“Um, where’d you learn to do that style?”

Daniel looks ready to excitedly burst into the story of his tattooing style and his interest in America, but Max cuts him off by pushing the bouquet into his chest.

“We do not have time for that, these are going to wilt. Take these to Lando.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Daniel murmurs, picking up the bouquet gently. He doesn’t sound annoyed by Max’s demands. Rather amused, actually. He shoots Logan another grin over Max’s shoulder. “I don’t envy you, mate. But hey if you want to talk tattoos, come by the shop sometime.”

“Definitely!” Logan agrees before Max can say anything else on his behalf. Daniel shoots him a one-handed finger gun before turning back to Max. His smile becomes a lot less joking and more sincere.

“See you later, Maximus”

Max loses some of his prickliness, voice soft when he says, “Goodbye, Daniel.”

+ There’s a man talking to Lando at the front desk when Oscar comes in that day. It’s neither of the two Oscar is used to seeing who come talk to Lando pretty regularly. Oscar’s pretty sure one of them’s his boyfriend and the other is his business partner but he can never tell which is which.

“Did you leave Logan alone at the shop?” Lando is asking while Oscar sets his station up.

“Well, I had to do it at some point,” the guy says, his accent reminiscent of German or Dutch. “What is the point of hiring another employee if I cannot leave for a few minutes?"

“Daniel never leaves me alone here,” Lando points out, a tad resentful. Oscar snorts.

“That’s because he has control issues,” Oscar claims. Both of the men look at him, one in amusement and one in confusion.

“Who are you?” The mystery guy asks. Weird, Oscar was going to ask him the same thing. He looks to Lando who makes the introductions.

"Max, this is Oscar, Daniel's new apprentice. Oscar, this is Max, one of our neighbors."

Oscar frowns. "I thought Max was your..." he trails off, leaving space for Lando to fill in the blank. He waves his hand.

"Different Max. This is Max Verstappen, he run's Verstappen Floral."

The new Max is still looking at him strangely. "Daniel does not take apprentices. He says he is a bad teacher."

Oscar shrugs, not sure what to tell him. He doesn't know how he got the job either. Luckily, he's saved from having to respond by Daniel coming out of the back office.

"Oscar, good, you're here, I wanted to talk about-" Daniel stops abruptly when he sees Max standing in the lobby. His entire demeanor shifts when he says, "Max, hey! What are you doing here?"

Daniel is normally a friendly guy, sometimes too much in Oscar's opinion, but he's practically glowing as he bounds over to Max. While Max's expression doesn't shift, his body language opens up to Daniel like one of his blooming flowers.

"I am talking to Lando about our stream tonight," Max answers. "He has not been very forthcoming with the details."

Lando tries to protest but even Oscar can see that it's a lost cause. This new guy showed up and suddenly it's like nothing else exists to Daniel. His boss giggles at nothing and that's when Oscar decides to get back to work.

[watcheraurora]

17k word one-shot completed and posted! Enjoy!

[doesromandoart]

they are THE Flower Shop/Tattoo Parlor ship. to me.

[icantthink-ofagoodname]

Whaaaat i dont project onto characters i would neeeeeever! *Runs quickly to hide this*

[wawapiggy]

if ravio and legend were in a florist x tattoo artist au, who would be the florist and who would be the tattoo artist??

edit: since legend as florist and ravio as tattoo artist is currently winning, pls tell me what tattoos u think ravio would have, i don’t have any ideas for him

i have some tattoo ideas for legend already though i would also appreciate some ideas for him too!!

[kavvueh]

what the wild flowers tell me

by @kavvueh

Summary:

"Oh," Venti gasps. "Oh," Xiao mumbles, and then hacks up a whole flower - stem and all, for good measure.

Or: A Hanahaki AU in which Venti, a florist, has got it bad - and Xiao, a tattoo artist, has it worse.

You can read it here!

A brief snippet of the fic is below the cut. Enjoy!

Statistically, 1 in 8 people will develop Hanahaki disease over the course of their lives. Most will naturally cough out their flowers before they manage to take root in the lungs. The prognosis becomes more serious by that point if flowers persist, but it is usually resolved in a matter of a month or two. Consistent or constant contact with elemental energy increases the risk of developing the disease, but does not affect the odds of roots. You're just as likely to get a nick from a wayward bloom than to have flowers dig in roots in your lungs.

And despite his near-daily contact with Dendro and Anemo, Venti understands that running his flower shop isn't what started it all. Not for him. He knows this because it isn't the first time he's coughed up flowers. It takes infatuation, the first step to what might become love, along with Dendro energy, and just a bit of unluckiness, to catch Hanahaki - a mix of butterflies and warmth and blood for those flowers to first bloom.

It is a bit ironic, though, he thinks, once his coughing fit is over and he's scooping the petals into his hands to toss into the trash bin, the fact that they are once more a white-colored flower. After all these years, he still loves pure, with a canvas of flesh and sinew built to collect all the spit and gore that comes with breathing and bleeding and feeling, all the makings of being human.

But isn't it also a little silly (and ironic and poetic, too) that the one he's bleeding for now etched into Venti's skin the memory of his first?

[abstractnaturaldisaster]

Steddie Flower Shop / Tattoo Parlor AU

I am so floored by the response! It is absolutely so fun that y’all want to read my silly stories! This is a relatively short update but I am working on the rest! Hoping to post the full story by Valentine’s and I might also post an AO3 link at some point if anyone would like that I Part One I Part Two I Also on AO3!

***

Chrissy and Eddie had been taking bets about what type of business was opening up across the way. Eddie’s guesses had run the gamut from hipster coffee shop to hipster hairdresser to hipster high-end taxidermy while Chrissy had more or less stuck with her original guess of a speakeasy style bar. Eddie was starting to close up shop for the day when some guy in an honest-to-god sweater vest and jeans ran over.

“It’s too late to place any orders today. Sorry if you need to apologize to your wife and 2.5 kids and forgot until the last minute.” Eddie had to admit the guy was pretty infuriatingly handsome. If you were in to normie core, that is.

“What? I’m not- okay, uhm. I’m actually here because I just rented the place across the way and I wanted to ask about setting up a recurring weekly arrangement?” Steve asked.

“What?” Eddie yelled over Judas Priest.

“It’s a wonder you can ever hear anything over all this noise.” Steve gestured towards the speaker.

Chrissy had overheard the exchange from the backroom and cut Eddie off before he could start ranting about real music, “Yes, we are interested in setting up a recurring weekly bouquet arrangement for our new neighbors, Eddie.” 

Chrissy turned back around to lower the speaker's volume and pulled Eddie and Steve into the shop and onto stools by the workbench Eddie uses for arranging. Eddie glared at her but they’d just lost one of their regular accounts to some online service that was apparently way cheaper than what De Lucas’ could offer.

“Sure. What were you thinking, dude?” Eddie asked Steve.

“Just something nice for our front desk. Not too big and maybe nothing that people are commonly allergic to? But I’ve seen the arrangements you load up for delivery and I trust your eye. I’m not a live flower expert.”

“Of course, big boy.” Eddie noticed Steve flush a little bit at the pet name. Eddie reached behind Steve to grab one of the flyers Chrissy had made for company floral services. He purposely invaded Steve’s space a little more than necessary just to see if he could get the guy to flush a little deeper.

“Uhm, thanks, man. I’ll get out of your hair since it’s late. Sorry.”

“I’ve got time for you now if you want to talk through anything,” Eddie couldn’t resist biting his lip a little bit. Steve was apparently very easy to ruffle and Eddie sure did love antagonizing his hipster neighbor. “Tell me a little bit about your place?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s a tattoo studio? Just me and my friend’s helping run the, like, business part of it.” Steve responded

“You tattoo?”

“Yeah. Really fucking well actually,” Steve pushed back. It seemed like Eddie had hit a nerve.

“Shouldn’t you have like at least one tattoo?” Eddie’s brain to mouth filter had apparently stopped working. He shouldn’t be actively shitting on a potential customer.

“Who says I don’t?” Steve answered with a wink. It was Eddie’s turn to feel a little faint as his imagination took a little too much creative liberty thinking about where Steve’s tattoo might be.

Thankfully, Chrissy took the awkward silence as an opportunity to step in and work with Steve to confirm what level of floral arrangement he was looking for, how often he wanted a new arrangement, and if he wanted pick up or delivery.

“I can stop by and pick them up. Wouldn’t want you to go through the trouble of adding me to your schedule since I’m just across the way. Any chance I could pick one up tomorrow around lunch time? My first client is coming at two.” Steve asked.

“Noon’s great, Steve!” Chrissy reached out to shake Steve’s hand while Eddie was still working on slowing his heart rate back to a reasonable rhythm.

“Amazing, thanks so much guys!” Steve called as he headed out of De Lucas’ and back across the street.

“Woah, Eddie. Truly a masterclass in both flirting and getting new clients. I should have taken notes,” Chrissy said once Steve had made it halfway into the road.

“Hey, fuck you.” 

“He speaks!” Chrissy patted Eddie’s head and added, “You’ll have to get better at interacting with him since you’ll be seeing each other once a week now.”

Eddie dramatically sighed and laid his upper body across the workbench, getting little pieces of flower refuse stuck in his hair.

“I’m so screwed.”

You wish, babe,” Chrissy cackled as she grabbed her bag and headed out for the day.

***

Part 4 now available here!

Taglist: @maya-custodios-dionach @eboyawstenn @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sadcanadianwinter @thehumblefigtree @throwbackthrowaway @micheledawn1975

I think I caught everyone! I seriously am so genuinely amazed by the reception! 

[lunarifie]

Tftsd Flower shop/Tattoo Parlor AU

(Set in modern times)

Part 1 / Part 2

- Bart and Gum Gum have known each other ever since they were placed in foster care. They stuck around each other until they were 18 and legally allowed to take care of themselves. They end up renting an apartment, doing freelance gigs and odd jobs to keep themselves afloat.

- At some point, Bart runs into his past mentor, Marge, a tattoo artist who’d taught him a few things back in the day. She claims that Bart’s a natural artist, and that she has plans on retiring after holding onto her tattoo parlor for some time now. But to do so, she needs to hand it off to someone she can trust, therefore, she takes Bart as her apprentice.

- After a year or two, Bart picks it up relatively quickly and replaces Marge as the owner/main tattoo artist. He keeps the parlors name “The Jebediah” in honor of his mentor.

- With a now sustainable job, Bart tries to train and hire Gum Gum, but after a few months, its obvious that Gum Gum doesn’t have the same talent as Bart. Gum Gum admits that he can’t see himself inflicting pain on others for the sake of art (only for the sake of protection). Bart understands, and knowing Gum Gum’s affinity for flowers, convinces him to try and apply to the newly implemented flower/coffee shop down the street, known as Mudd’s Plants and Coffee.

- Gum Gum enters the shop and immediately forgets what he was there for, entranced by the variety of plants and differing floral. He notices a dried up plant hidden behind a big-leafed one, nudging it closer to the sun and hydrating it with a nearby watering can.

- Gum Gum jumps when he hears a - “What do you think you’re doing?” - from behind, turning around to face the tall shopkeeper. The shopkeeper stares at him sternly before widening his eyes and cursing, shoving past Gum Gum to inspect the almost dying plant.

- He reaches for the watering can but Gum Gum interjects, “don’t worry! I already watered it. If you do that again it’ll drown.”

- Mudd pauses, hand hovering over the watering can as he eyes Gum Gum, “customers aren’t supposed to mess with the plants…”

- “I wasn’t messing with it, I was helping it.”

- “Uh huh.” Already annoyed by this meddling customer, Mudd asks Gum Gum if theres anything he can help with, ready to have this person on their way.

- “Actually, yeah. I’m here to apply for a job, do you know where the shop owner is?”

- “I am the shop owner.”

- Gum Gum blinks, staring blankly at Mudd before splitting into a wide grin. “Perfect!”

- Mudd is hesitant in considering the applicant at first, but with the surge of customers who want to try out the aesthetically pleasing cafe/plant shop, he can use all the help he could get.

- Mudd is often busy at the counter, ringing up orders, brewing coffee, and adding his signature herbs to his recipes. Its hard for him to pay attention to every single plant and flower in his shop.

- After a week or so, he notices he no longer has to rush to his plants to make sure they’re healthy. From the counter, he can see his flowers blooming, bright and vibrant thanks to his new employee. Its obvious that Gum Gum has a talent for finding the dying forgotten plants and helping them thrive.

- Bart is ecstatic over Gum Gum getting a secure job, teasing him over it, “my boys all grown up!” He often takes short trips to Mudd’s shop to visit Gum Gum, whose always excited to see him and greets him with a “Bart!”

- Eventually, Mudd ends up introducing himself after the red-heads name is yelled enough times.

[redfurrycat]

🤠✒️💐🐓Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor AU Fic Recs🐓💐✒️🤠

(Includes FS, TP and the lovely combo of the two)

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

Ao3 Authors: Abliafina, Haridwar, Lovelybattle, ReformedTsundere, SunMonTue.

Hanahaki Disease > Bakery & Coffee Shop > Mechanic AU > Chef, Bartender & Waiter

Spice by lovelybattle {E}

/🐓✒️/

Jake strolled into the tattoo parlor, looking around at the art scattered about the walls. It was all really well done, as expected, from one of the highest rated shops in California. There was a buzz in the background, but he couldn’t see anyone getting tattooed. He quickly realized there were multiple rooms with curtains hanging down instead of doors. The sound coming from behind the curtains that were completely closed. “What can I do for ya?” The woman behind the counter asked, splaying her hands on the counter and leaning on them. “Well, considering we’re in a tattoo shop,” Jake said, smirking, “I was hoping I could get a tattoo.”

got a thing for you by haridwar {T}

/🐓✒️/

The bell above the door jingled, alerting Bradley that someone had entered the shop. He ducked out of the back room to find two brick walls worth of men shutting the door behind them. Sighing a little at the intrusion, despite it still being opening hours, Bradley took up position behind the counter and pasted on his best customer service smile. Or: Bradley and Jake's first meeting goes a little bit different when there's no rivalry to stop them from aggressively falling head over heels for one another

Sunshine & Roses by abliafina {T}

/🐓✒️ &💐🤠/

“How often do you get to be creative Bradley?” Jake asked. “Look, I love your designs, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, but they’re not me.” Bradley crossed his arms, an intrigued look on his face. “You saying you’re giving me free hands?” “Sure am.” Jake made sure to sound confident, but on the inside, his heart beat as if he’d just finished a marathon, “I trust you.”

Never Work a Day in Your Life by ReformedTsundere {T}

/🐓✒️/

Bradley loves his job. He loves his job. He loves his job. He loves his job. If he keeps repeating it to himself like a mantra, eventually, it will have to be true.

Hole in the wall by SunMonTue {M}

/🐓✒️/

Jake's always wanted his tongue pierced. And now that Javy lost the bet, he's getting his tongue pierced AND Javy is paying for it. It's win-win. Shame that's the only thing that goes to plan

[animunee-ee]

Nnt pacific rim!au where Meliodas is Raleigh Becket, Zeldris is Yancy Becket, Elizabeth is Mako Mori and Ludociel is Stacker Pentecost.

Maybe Ban is Herc Hansen? Then Lance would be Chuck. Or Ban is Chuck and Zhivago is Herc.

I'm not sure about Newton and Hermann. Merlin, demon Gowther, Hendrickson? I'm thinking Merlin-Newt and D Gowther-Hermann. Drifting with Kaji is just something Merlin would do and Gowther is a good voice of reason. Hendrickson can be Tendo Choi.

Some other co-pilots would be King and Helbram, Diane and Matrona, Gilthunder and Howzer, Guila and Jericho.

[rt3nenbaum]

If you’re still writing common fanfic tropes for webbonso maybe like soulmates au (maybe set during when they were both driving) or accidental baby acquisition oooh married in Vegas

the soulmate AU is already in process!! and i will add accidental baby acquisition to the list for sure!! :)

[seriouslycalamitous]

Okay I need help deciding the next fic I post:

So I'm writing a hideduo tattoo/flower shop fic, but it's going to be long and take me a while to finish. Should I pause it to write some stuff for fall/Halloween?

What fics would you want to see? Ships, tropes, prompts, etc?

[hawkstincan]

* It's not that Trent's father wasn't supportive of his career choices. He just hinted more and more that he was getting older, and Trent was a smart cookie and would work out how to run their family shop quite fast if he just gave himself a task to do so. He'd sell if he must, of course, yet he preferred not to, so think about it lad, okay?  

* Trent really thinks about it. A lot. And then thinks how his last pitch for an article was denied. How it won't get enough reaction from readers fast enough. News is fast these days. No time for digging and deep diving. Write it, publish it, (make a topic for a day or two, a couple of weeks if you're lucky) and move on.  Trent loves writing. But. He loves writing big meaningful stories. Loves digging. Loves to be edgy. Loves to make a difference… Maybe his dad has a point after all. He wasn’t excited for his job for too long. 

* And his dad goes and breaks his leg. It's so perfectly timed that Trent even suspected… no, his dad would never, would he? 

* Trent spends his time off in his family flower shop. He thought he forgot by now how it works, how to make an arrangements, forgot everything about flower language (most of it, if he's being honest, but it's not like people care about deeper meaning than ‘colors look good together’ these days so he's not too eager to dust up his knowledge) 

* Time flies and Trent is surprised to realize… he doesn't want to run back to his own once upon a time dream job. His father never let him live this down. And yet he's happier in their cozy shop much more than he was at The Independent lately. 

* He quits after this realization. No time like the present, right? And he's afraid he'll change his mind if he gives himself time to think about it too much. 

* He misses writing. And yet he’s happy with his new routing. It’s mostly calm (except for some annoying clientele but that one was expected). Spending more time with his kid is a nice bonus too. She spends some of her after school time in the shop just like he was in his childhood. 

* And then he sees that the shop across the road has new owners. Tattoo parlor of all things! He waits in horror for drunk crowds, bikers and pissed off parents of barely adults getting their first tattoo without permission, to appear. 

* He’s not proud of stereotypical thinking. In his defense he’d never been to a real tattoo parlor and all his knowledge comes from movies and shows.     

* Naturally when he sees Ted Lasso for the first time he thinks it’s just a client looking for a nice bouquet of flowers. Nothing about the guy screams tattoo artist! He’s a bit surprised after full name introduction but cuts it to an American thing.   Lasso picks quite a nice arrangement of flowers. Trent vaguely recognizes the meaning of them. Something about familial love. Lasso bubbles so much that all Trent needs to do to have a resemblance of conversation is to nod in the right places and give little smiles. It’s not unpleasant yet Trent’s a bit sad. He’s so out of practice. A year later he’d asked questions of his own. At the moment he doesn’t want to. He just counts rhymes and puns in his head. It’s close to forty. Trent against his better judgment feels impressed.  

* And his jaw literally drops while Lasso bids his farewells with “see you later neighbor” crosses the road and disappears in a newly opened tattoo parlor. No. Fucking. Way. He doesn’t ask IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE? aloud. Mostly because he has no one to ask.   

* He feels a bit better about his assumptions (you know what they say about assumptions, Trent?) after he meets Roy fifty-shades-of-fuck Kent. This guy checks half of his stereotype boxes. 

* Beard… Beard is totally something. He stares. He rarely speaks. He reads when he’s not working. And Trent is dying to set up chemates date for him and his father. They either kill each other or become ride or die. 

* The latter happens and Trent regrets some of his life choices.

* Keeley at first somehow looks even more out of place then Ted. And then she takes off her fluffy pink jacket and Trent chuckles to himself. Nope. She is right where she is supposed to be. 

* Much later he learns that most of her flowers were tattooed by Ted. That’s his specialty. 

* Much earlier Trent learns that Ted knows all about flower language. Maybe even more then Trent bothered to learn. It's a bit annoying (insert flirting with flowers from Ted and miscommunication on Trent’s part).

* Their kids get along like a house on fire (once almost literally)

* Tent has no idea how other parlors function. But he knows that Ted never tattoos on the first visit. Yes, laser tattoo removal exists. But Ted thinks that this must be a thought out decision. Tattoos aren’t cheap. Removal too. It’s easier for everyone not to do it if you ain’t gonna keep it. He never works with drunk people. The tv trop may be popular, but in real life it can be dangerous. Big no-no. All facial tattoos include long conversations about age, dream job and public reaction.  

* Trent realizes how fucked he is quite early in their fast building friendship. 

* He says nothing. It’s easier not to rock the boat. He hates to lose what he has by then. 

* He stoically ignores Beard’s stares. 

* And Roy’s brand new tones of ‘fuck’. 

* Naturally their mutual pining ends after Ted kisses him. 

* Every. Damn. Person. In. His. Circle. Of. Friends. And. Family. Are. Assholes. They will never let him live down the fact that Trent apparently missed all Ted’s 'flower flirting'.