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I will never be normal about this scene taking place after the end credits.
Because here we are, literally after the end of the story. And here is the comedic sidekick occasional-mentor, having survived his self-sacrifice for the hero at the end of Act II, having been torn open and loved in the dark, having emerged to realize that he can no longer be a blank moldable surface in his own life.
And here is the villain, having lost too early, having been cradled and seen and afforded grace, having emerged to realize that he cannot be the heartless evil he was made to be, having fought and failed and lived rather than died at the victors' hands.
After the story has been told, Pete is not a background character in service to someone elseās story. He is, in this place, the most important person.
After the curtain falls, Vegas is not a villaināand he is not lost, is not abandoned as comeuppance for his terrible flaws. He is a young man thoroughly, despicably, mutually in love.
Because after the finale has played out, after all the chess pieces have been tidied away until the next game, after the credits rollāthe narrative roles Vegas and Pete were prescribed lose their sway. And they hold each other in the aftermath.
#kinnporsche#vegaspete#this especially in the context of porscheās final scene *pre-credits*#āweāre all together as a familyā (in the room namphueng was locked up in)#in a position of power (under kornās thumb)#in love (in a life he never wanted for himself)#*unable to escape the narrative*#fleet post#fleet meta
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Alright! Lore Time!!! Let me introduce you properly to Captain Barnabus Bulkar! He was the Caretaker of the young Knights of the Star Table, being a Fatherly figure to them especially to the young Prince of Stars when his Parents met their untimely demise. Captain Bulkar would give the children advice and teach them the ways of Chivalry and Honor as well as what teas suit any mood!
Captain Bulkar has experienced so much, from watching the boys grow into fine young men, to the Fall of the GSA, to raising another young one of his own dealt with a bad hand. He misses those young Knights, unsure where in the Galaxy they are now. He did send for a search party, but nothing came of it. To honor their legacy, he has been surveilling the Galaxy for the many crimials that plague it! Tracking down Space Pirates, eradicating any Demon Beasts that may still be lurking after the war, yet despite the pain of grief and regret, he remained strong in his heart.
Even more so, he is motivated to raise his young new star. Determined to stay by her side and help her when she needs it.
I will share more about Captain Bulkar and his Little Star as well as his Crew, the Sol Fleet, once I get their refs and doodles done! ^^
But yee, L.O.T.S Lore starts now! Yaaaay
#kirby fanart#kirby of the stars#artists on tumblr#meta knight#kirby meta knight#meta knight fanart#digital art#kirby oc#procreate#sir arthur kirby#sir percival kirby#sir falspar#sir lancelot kirby#sir dragato#sir galahad kirby#legends of the stars#medibandpaint#sol fleet#captain bulkar#kirby oc lore#oc lore#doodles#color doodle#oc reference
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I don't know when, I don't know how, but Law is gonna join the straw hat fleet now that the Polar Tang is sunk. Probably Kid too but definitely Law.
My ideal would the Hearts creating a subsect of the Staw Hat Fleet that's essentially like an ambulance for the rest of the Fleet. Luffy is never going to run the Fleet like a well oiled machine, I think it'll ultimately just become a guerilla force for chaos and freedom that's loosely aligned, so appointing Commanders within it he can trust to do the right thing will be essential. And Law has been set up to be that.
#honestly I could see our remaining Supernovas all somehow ending up under Luffy#like he's already worked with most of the remaining active ones#and I think his loose style of leadership will be good for a collection of independent former captains#Straw Hat Fleet#straw hat crew#one piece meta#one piece predictions#trafalgar law#Egghead spoilers
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I don't even know how to start this post, I've been just thinking about this concept of like... "Role Redundancy" in One Piece, regarding the OG Shichibukai. A lot of it does come from people just speculating about Crocodile's past and future role in the story, and how often I do kind of feel like certain suggestions/ideas feel somewhat too redundant, as the idea may have already been done with another one of the Warlords if not multiple. (An example of this could be the "former slave" theory, because we already have two former slaves amongst the OG Shichibukai; the fact that Crocodile would then be the THIRD one makes me less likely to believe the theory personally.)
And that just made me wonder even more about how, when you think about it, a lot of the Warlords do actually have stuff in common with one-another, but only to a limited degree. Like there is what almost feels like intentional redundancy amongst these characters and their roles, but it's done carefully so they're not too repetetive?
And to really visualize the connections... I had to make a chart
(Could've added a "Tried to kill Luffy" but literally the only characters who wouldn't fall into that bubble would be Jimbei and Kuma, so it felt a little unnecessary)
Now this is just what I could think of very quickly at the top of my head, you probably could figure out more "Role Redundancies" between these characters. But figuring out all the theoretical connections/similarities between the characters isn't as important as noting how, yeah, most of those similarities are only shared once or twice between characters. They get repeated, but not so much they become actually reduntant in the story (personal feelings/relationship with Luffy aside, that one is quite natural to repeat after all) Also interesting how Crocodile seems to have The Most Shit going on with him, to the point the only characters he doesn't really seem to have one-on-one similarities to are Moria and Hancock
I don't really have a point to this post, I just thought it was interesting to think about and try to visualize. And I do wonder if this could be used to like, try to predict where the story is going, somehow? But yeah, just something to chew on
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Using the term ''besties'' very loosely on there just so we're clear#I guess Jimbei and Hancock could be connected with their Warlord status being put on the line for not wanting to participate in Summit War#While Croc and Doflamingo both went to Level 6 for their war crimes#And of course Moria and Mihawk are connected through Perona#If Hancock somehow manages to find her way to Luffy she could theoretically become the second Shichibukai to join Strawhats#(Assuming Luffy would allow that) (Which I'm not sure he would ngl lmao) (She'd at least join the Strawhat Fleet right)#Which would give her a connection between Jimbei#I'm still convinced Moria's joining Cross Guild but that wouldn't really give him a connection between Crocodile personally#Oh right Croc and Hawk are Distrust Besties also
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for all the dramatics in my meta, i do think shanks couldāve very easily kept buggy satisfied & committing minimal war crimes as a member of his crew. just:
say you canāt go to laugh tale until youāve met certain reasonable criteria, like āhave a strong crew,ā āacquire a ship that can handle new world weather,ā or āstand toe-to-toe with whitebeard and liveā
make a mildly homoerotic promise to meet those criteriaā¦ together
do the work to meet those criteria (through recruitment, training, etc.)
while you're level grinding, provide buggy with enrichment by way of Treasure Maps and supervised Treasure Hunts
supervised, ostensibly so the others can acquire any Underwater Treasure he may find, or to help buggy carry All The Treasure back to the ship, but actually to keep him from wandering into naval bases and getting arrested
#tos originals#enough meta! i want to shitpost!!#they would probably still fight a little about shanksā ālow standardsā for subordinate crews in his fleet#but by the time thatās happening theyāve definitely fulfilled their laugh tale criteria so buggy would be eager to start that search#which would make it sooo easy for shanks to redirect him from arguments to poneglyph hunting#ā¦itās just the way he treats buggy at marineford as a life philosophy lmao#shuggy#one piece#shanks#buggy#the no divorce au
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guess who came home today
#miscs-doodles#i was fully prepared to lose all 64 arrest warrants ive been saving up bcs apparently she's good for the meta#i got her in 20 pulls. i should be celebrating the fact that i didnt have to drain my entire bank account to get her#but somehow i feel like i've lost either way ...#im not even going to maintag this i'm justš§āāļø welcome home shalomš§āāļø i guessš§āāļø#i have so many mixed feelings about this woman ranging from 'she's a really complex character and i can tell she'll have really interesting#lore' to 'i'm going to beat the shit out of her for what she did to rahu's fleet and christina'
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This is a genuine question: I know you enjoy lady whump as you have some characters that are female and are whumpees. I enjoy it too, sorta. Truth is that I feel guilty.
I know itās kinda problematic to see lady whump as taboo and immoral but I canāt help but feel like itās wrong, I come from a country that HATES women (shocker all countries hate women but I mean mine has a huge femicide problem) and I know how stupid I sound āI canāt feel but itās wrongā like duh itās whump! But I honestly donāt know how to get over those feelings, it hits too close home.
My question here is did you ever got those feelings of guilt and if you did, how did you get over those?
It's understandable to feel guilty at times, especially when creating or enjoying dark content (and especially if it's something that hits close to home)
Initially, I had some reservations about lady whump, since in mainstream media, violence against women tends to be a sensationalized thing that exists for shock value or to motivate the male lead in some way
(it's worth noting that the media has a history of doing this to trans, gay, and otherwise queer characters and non-white characters as well)
Initially I was squicked out by the idea of lady whump because I was so used to seeing it through that lens (not to mention, as you've said, the real-life examples)
However, I've seen again and again that whump as a genre tends to handle that material well (with all genders, not just females). Instead of the shock value, whump focuses a lot on the emotions, how the harm affects the character being harmed, and more often than not gives that character a fulfilling recovery arc
Personally, that's what shifted my opinion on it
Even then, if it's something you're uncomfortable with, you're not at fault for avoiding or disliking it. It all comes down to personal preference, and whether you'd like to explore it more or just stay away, it's your choice, and you shouldn't need to explain yourself (/gen)
#media consumption guilt is definitely a thing#but stories are a way to deal with uncomfortable realities from a safe spot aswell as explore different flawed perspectives#consuming or creating media that DOES sensationalize/'mishandle' sensitive topics is still not morally wrong#you have the right to avoid it as much as you have the right to enjoy it#but whump as a genre is often misunderstood#yeah we like the violence and angst and fleeting whumperflies#but most people i know in the community care a lot MORE about the characters and how the things they go through change them#and how despite all the shit they're put through they still come out#they can still heal and live a happy life#regardless of age; gender; sex; race; etc#anon#hope this helped!#whump meta
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Kafka crossed my thoughts tonight at random, and so I wanted to re-post a little something here, with some minor edits thrown in. I just think it's often overlooked how... many human elements they've tied into her. A hungering sense of curiosity, the inherent sense of longing that clings to her being like a fever, and how she's caught (very humanly so) between the belief of we are tied to fate and thus it shall be, and the insistence on choice and how the Trailblazer seems to be inherently representative of its existence. And then I think of what being 'human' entails, and one could argue that it represents the experience of life, before one's end by the hand of destiny/fate. Is that... why she's so enthralled by all these human concepts? Because she's so firmly tied to fate? Yes, I still linger in the thought that she bears strong connections to fate, there are too many hints at the Moirai to me to ignore. But it's not even that, it's her Spirit Whisper, it's that her wanted poster made by the Devils that she used to hunt on her home of Pteruges-V, had to describe the ability and what it doesā which tells ms that it's not native to there. Butā I'm getting sidetracked, this isn't about any kind of potential nature that is far from humanity, it's about the evidence, even if she may turn out not to be inherently human at some point in the future of HSR, that she is drawn to, portrays and in some form, lives, very human concepts. And one of the ways I tried to make that clear before, was by talking about her in relation to her violinā or more specifically: the presence of its absence, the latter being which I will always firmly believe to be the eternal overarching narrative of Kafka's character. Any way, onto the babble:
I'll forever remember looking into the notes of someone's playthrough of HSR's first scenes, which is just something I like to do because you never know what kind of little treasures you might find. And there was a violinist tucked away in there, who I'd also seen in the notes of her main trailer, commenting on the intense accuracy of the movement of her fingers. And then on top of that, how they've usually been let down by the details when other games have tried to simulate it as well, but it was more so done to iterate how intentional this must've been for Hoyo to have focused on its accuracy so much.
So in that sense, I think it's close to a given that she knows how to play it, similarly to how I believe that she is someone who also plays or has played the piano. Where I differ however, is that I don't believe that she actually owns a violin at present, nor is she seeking to obtain one by her own means. Moreover, what and where I think the 'mimicking' comes from, actually, is from her memories and the emotional attachment that she once held for these instruments in them. Kafka's character, to me, revolves around and thrives within two concepts, that of intimate longing and that of loss (the pearl earring, the broken winged butterfly pin, and Blade's character story to name some) which plays intricately into the former. Now for me, her connection to the violin and the piano (primarily the former) play wonderfully into representing both of these, and thus can be drawn into these prevalent topics across the board for her incredibly easily. In simple terms, I think that there is a sense of longing to play them. Now, I feel confident in noting that Kafka does not come across as one who, if she had access to (in this case) a violin of her own, that she would crave to play it so intensely all the time, that when drawn from it for even the briefest of time, that she would enact the part of playing one during her separation from it. No, I think she's actively choosing not to obtain one, for one reason or another. Perhaps it's a memory that plays into the loss that her character seems to stray towards, or perhaps it's a lack of something else; I don't quite yet dare say. But there's something oddly wistful about it, if you look past the surface. All in all, I think her little moments of mimicking and humming, makes for an incredibly interesting "little" tidbit to me. It reminds me of something I wrote in an older post last year:
(...) And yet, and yet, I actively think if she were to find herself in a hotel room, even on her own, and there would be a piano right thereā I can see her fingers tracing over the keys so very clearly, even as if she were touching the keys to play and yet she would never press down.
I still stand by this to this day. It's the ache to do something again, and yet for one reason or another, you can't bring yourself to do it. Whether it feels wrong, or there's something missing, something or someone; it doesn't matter, it's a longing of some kind. It really is the overarching topic and/or concept that I see in her character, and the fact that she's tied to such an inherently fragile instrument, only further solidifies it in my brain. But in that, I also feel a deep sense of melancholy when I think of her and that violin. And it plays into all of this, of course, but also the fact that I genuinely see no evidence in canon at present that tells me that she has one, and we know she could obtain one if she so wanted to,but she doesn't. Which tells me, on some level, that she doesn't want one. Which then has me entertain the concept of... if one were gifted to her, would that be different? Would that offer the person who gifted it to her a glimpse that no one else could ever get? The answer is a very likely yes, but I can't see it being gifted by most by any means; it'd need to be by someone who could come to grasp the significance of one, put in the appropriate research, who would know where to go, who to speak to, where to find the significance. And that, isn't most people.
#[ me here incredibly loudly: kafka knows such deep longing. which isn't even a fabrication of my mind because-- ]#[ it's literally what sits behind her objective within the stellaron hunters. she /craves/ for what she does not feel. ]#[ not simply out of curiosity; but because lacking fear means that there is inherently a disconnect when she experiences life. ]#[ it's an additional weight that dictates and ties /weight/ to what is done and seen in life. what is /lived/. ]#[ she longs for that. it's an emptiness she describes having-- and wants to know what it's like to feel it. and how it impacts. ]#[ but she actively seeks it. /presence in absence/; see? ]#[ same thing with the violin. it would be so different if she actually HAD one and we saw her play it. ]#[ but the significance lies in the fact that she /doesn't/ have it. and she COULD have one. she could obtain one easily. ]#[ but we don't see it. there's no indication of it. and a violinist that can play her instrument wouldn't long to play it like this-- ]#[ when separated with it. because then the separation doesn't mean as much if it's just very fleeting and temporary. ]#[ no. it's presence in absence. the importance lays in the fact that it isn't there. that she doesn't have it. ]#[ /bites both fists. ]#[ kafka-- you are such an intimate creature. i absolutely loathe life. ]#[ literally. intimate. just... /intimate/. ]#[ kafka. ] we believe that existence has meaning; but that meaning is bestowed by ourselves. not by choices.#[ kafka: meta. ] she must have sought something extraordinary. everything she does comes at a great cost.
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āThe heavy cruiser had rebalanced its shield envelope to protect it against the turbolasers of the First Order vessels harrying its stern. That was a sound strategy, but it left the cruiser vulnerable to the prowling TIEs ā and Kylo had just ensured it wouldnāt be launching starfighters anytime soon.ā [TLJ novel]
And then less than a minute later the FO decides they can't send out any more TIEs whatsoever despite Supremacy and two dozen+ Destroyers tagging along because they're "out of range." When Ren just destroyed the entire Resistance fighter fleet.
#monthly tlj rage post except we're ramping back up to weekly again#so stupid!! Kylo literally just wiped out their Fighter fleet!! and for what!!!!#tlj#the last jedi#meta#my meta#ig#text#my text
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trying to figure out hsr's timeline is just pepesilvia.jpeg
when dates are labeled "AE" does that mean the WHOLE amber era, e.g. 2157 AE is the 2157th amber era, which itself lasted anywhere from 76 to 240 years?
was the swarm disaster in the 1300s AE ~770 whole ass amber eras ago (e.g. 60,000-180,000 years ago) from the present in 2157 AE, because that is an insane length of time?
the xianzhou fleet set sail in search of Yaoshi ~8000 years ago (whose years in what system???), and Yaoshi didn't exist during the swarm disaster, so is there just a huge gap between 60k-180k years ago & 8k years ago?
but the founding of the IPC is listed as occurring btw 1357-1387 AE, involving the same people who were presumably mortal, pre-Yaoshi, and didn't live for thousands of years, so that HAS to be measured as 30 years and not 30 amber eras?
but also the IPC claims one of those people contemporary to the swarm disaster is definitely still alive??? i mean sure they could mean it symbolically or sth, but man
man.
i understand the history fictionologists now. i too am about to start just making shit up
#i say as if the process of writing a fic is not inherently āmaking shit upā#neck-deep in the wiki's timeline all day just to figure out how long i want this dude to have been alone in cryo-sleep for angst purposes#like i need the civilization to have fallen & its language forgotten after ena died but 180k is NOT a relatable number of years#8k years is much more digestible. that's just a bit older than writing. ancient w/o being literally pre-modern homo sapiens#but the xianzhou fleet also set sail 8k years ago so it's like if ancient sumerians were spacefarers who had cryo-sleep tech#but also it's a fucking fusion crossover! the hsr characters are sirs not appearing in this fic! im inventing planets out of whole cloth!!!#WORLDBUILDING MY BELOVED NEMESIS#sobs into my hands#adventures in fic writing#hsr#hsr meta#wait i also realized i'm putting the city of troy like... inside of carthage#carthage is a (non-earth) planet in this scenario and also there's spaceships and aliens but still. that is not where troy goes#i made a bunch of other ancient cities into neighboring planets i should've put troy on a closer analogue...
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@bustinbustinbustinās recent mirror meta reminded me of a post Iāve wanted to do for a while: Vegasās anti-mirror meta!
Because Vegas has a few significant moments in mirrors--the three big ones being naked candle devil time, āIāll be the leader and my dad will accept me us,ā and obviously that final post-credits scene with Pete and Macau--but he also has several where heās specifically staged to stay out of reflections. Most of these take place during the safehouse arc.
Following the water-reflected drone shot that sets up Vegasās arrival at the safehouse, the camera begins to avoid showing his reflection.
As he walks up onto the deck and into the house, Vegas gets only an incidental half-reflection and neatly avoids appearing in either the window on the left or the door on the right, where his two henchmenās reflections ultimately settle to frame and surround him.
The effect is one of being hemmed in--an effect compounded when Vegas enters the house; he passes behind several open windows and (less subtly) the bars made by the stairs. All of Vegasās machinations have come to naught; he continues trying to present an image of casual authority, but heās trapped here. And if Vegas looks in mirrors for an idealized version of himself (the leader, the monster)--the safehouse is where those fantasies begin to fall apart.
Reflections are used similarly with Gun in episode 13. Vegas spends his morning trying to build up a domestic dream, cooking a delicious meal for Pete and resolutely pretending itās no big deal that he left him handcuffed in his bedroom prison. the fucker (affectionate)
The only reflection Vegas gets inside this house is actually the one made by the counter heās stir-frying his househusband dream on.
The illusion and the meal are both overturned by the arrival of Gun. Vegas attempts to distance himself from his father (āYou think I wanted to be your son?ā)--but he fails, miserably, with the minor family ring making its mark on his cheek. And weāre left with this tableau: Vegas is framed between two reflective doors. Gun exits from the left; his reflection departs on the right.
Vegas has nowhere to escape. There is no direction he could turn to be free of the man whose ambitions he has turned into his own shackles. There is nowhere he could go that would not leave him literally following in his fatherās footsteps.
He was stupid, to briefly imagine he could.
So: Vegas returns to the reflective counter, covered in the remnants of the illusion. He sweeps those remnants away.
And slams his fist into his now-hidden-from-camera reflection for good measure.
#kinnporsche#fleetās first gifs!#ā¦during my last watch i did a reflection spreadsheet#to document all the times anyone gets a reflection#and all the times a reflective surface is present but they donāt#with columns for timestamp/context/reflective surface/reflection style#if anyone wants this useless data/has a purpose for it please let me know!#because uh. i fully donāt#fleet post#fleet meta
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New Anya Jenkins headcanon:
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street opened on Broadway in 1979 and Anya went to see it with Hallie and D'Hoffryn and other vengeance demons. They all loved the plot (revenge! vengeance!) except for the ending - they lose interest when it has morals attached. Though Anya thinks it's realistic that women who get involved with men will end up paying for it in the end.
Just, think about it!! A man (Sweeney Todd) gets revenge on the people who had him wrongfully imprisoned so they could steal his wife and child from him?? Vengeance demons would be all over that!!!!!!
The man's downstairs neighbor (Mrs. Lovett) who is completely in love with him (and decided to save NOT his child but his shiny expensive razors and keep them for YEARS after he was imprisoned) + when Sweeney starts killing she's like "well, with the price of meat what it is and you needing some way to dispose of the bodies, I suppose I could use this to benefit my pie shop" and then she gets rich off this murder/cannibalism scheme you know who would absolutely love that????
Vengeance Demon Anya Jenkins, that's who!!!!!
Mrs. Lovett is Anya's favorite character and after Anya loses her vengeance powers and suddenly she's falling in love with Xander and taking dangerous risks to be around him and the Scoobies and now she has to afford things and she understands why Mrs. Lovett would be down with vengeance not just for vengeance's sake but for the sake of love (and money, don't forget money). And after Xander leaves her at the altar, when Anya can finally form a coherent thought again, she finds her Sweeney Todd VHS and rewatches it because this fictional character would understand what she's going through and if Xander was going to break her heart, well, at least he didn't throw her into an oven (but also Anya kinda wishes he had because that would probably hurt less)
#anya jenkins#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs meta#sweeney todd#sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street#i get attached to fictional characters and love projecting onto them and i think anya would as well#anya my beloved
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I need to take a nap and not be a huge bitch rn but like
Genuinely hilarious to me.
#i really don't seek accounts out on purpose#and this is why#my sibling in Satan#one of these things is not like the others#you come into my house#you reblog my meta#please do not have the audacity to insult my furniture#i didn't invite you in here#you came in of your own accord#fleet rambles#fandom shit#feel like screaming from the rooftops#WE BUILT THIS CITY#WE BUILT THIS CITY ON BATCEST SHIPS
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Okay so it seemingly isn't impossible for people to travel the Grand Line on an over-glorified raft alone if they're just hardcore enough (either that or Mihawk has like a proper boat we just haven't seen)
That said, it would no doubt be easier to travel those seas if you weren't entirely alone. Having someone to keep an eye on the weather lest you get into a Random Grand Line Storm or attacked by a Sea King etc would be useful
But we know Mr Crocodile does not trust people (Nor did he seem to have a crew anyways? Just Daz during+post timeskip?)
So it is now my personal headcanon that Crocodile had/has a small (luxury) boat that's pulled by a bananawani. Like it can sail on its own, but the option for a bananawani to pull it is there. So the ship could keep on sailing while Croc's napping in relative safety and the bananawani would be able to defend it from Sea Kings
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodile just seems like a yacht-kinda guy doesn't he /jk#Maybe it's a paddle ship too so the bananawani can go behind the ship and like hang onto something and rest while the ship sails on its own#Sidenote how the fuck did Mihawk Croc and Daz get to Emptee Bluffs#Like we saw Croc and Daz wrecking the Marine fleet but we never saw HOW they got there. What kind of a ship did they use#And for real did. Did fucking Mihawk just get his shitty little raft coated at Sabaody and travel to Fishman Island on THAT THING#How the hell#Like that raft makes perfect sense in the Blues because those seas aren't obscene but. THE GRAND LINE??? MIHAWK??? SIR??? HOW
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I can put audible books on my mp3 player right? That's like the only one-up to the library apps because the library audiobooks are copy protected
#I'm sure there's a workaround but I can't be assed#I know google play books lets you download the audiofiles. I keep meaning to do that for the audiobooks I paid for#because every moment of possession is fleeting in today's meta world. or some shit. idk it sounded deep leave me alone
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the fact that alice's cheerful and easy-going demeanor is largely due to the permanent damage unregulated & abusive electro-shock therapy did on her while human (turning her completely amnesiac, which is why she doesn't remember her human life) is... horrific, when you remember it. agreeable and kind and fun at most moments due to an extreme physical trauma. happy even when she doesn't really mean to be, and she's completely unsure why!
#medical trauma cw#abuse cw#hospitalization cw#š¢. Ā footnotes Ā Ā Ā & Ā Ā Ā meta Ā . Ā Ā ļ¹ Ā now Ā that Ā šŖš“ Ā a Ā mystery .#the worst of it is that i think there are moments of not clarity but a#vague understanding that these things are missing āā that it's almost there#but will never be!#she'll never remember her mother's face. her sister.#she won't remember her father and what he did to their family.#she won't remember her second father who saved her life and turned her.#she won't remember why the sight of james tightens her chest and#dredges up this sensation of fear & guilt & anger. and she will#never understand why those feelings are so fleeting āā#why she can't hold onto things very well.#writing a reply and thinking of this ..
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