#five seasons of merlin and arthur being just what the fuck??

[ryemiffie]

What's gayer, Ford and Bill being technically canon, or, whatever the fuck Aurthur and Merlin had going on in that Merlin show?

I ask cause I genuinely need to know, I need answers! I'm leaning towards Bill and Ford but the merlin show was like five season of pure gay tension!

[quotidian-oblivion]

Reasons I Believe Gaius is the Real Emrys

In S3 EP9, Gaius talks about how Alice had given him a book for his fiftieth birthday. Gaius thought that the book had been given to him when he was made Court Physician. Since according to the MerlinWiki, it states that Gaius and Alice were engaged for 20 years just after he became court physician, we can assume that Gaius was around 50 when he became a court physician. And since they were engaged for 20 years: 50+20=70. He was 70 years old when the Purge happened.

The Purge lasted 20 years when Merlin finally arrived to Camelot as evidenced when Uther holds a feast in the first episode declaring that the Purge has successfully driven out sorcerers for 20 years. So 70+20=90 years old.

THIS MAN WAS NINTEY FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN MERLIN ARRIVED IN CAMELOT.

AND THEN WE ADD THE ADDITIONAL YEARS:

Season 1 - 1 year Season 2 - 1 year Season 3 - 1 year gap before the happenings bc Morgana was missing + 1 year Season 4 - 1 year as Arthur as regent with the Knights of the Round Table + 1 year Season 5 - 3 years time jump as Arthur declares in the first episode that Camelot has had 3 years of peace + 1 year altogether If we add it all up then it's 11 years altogether. 90+11= 101

IN CONCLUSION:

GAIUS WAS ONE HUNDRED AND ONE FUCKING YEARS OLD BY THE END OF THE SHOW

BUT WHAT REALLY MADE ME OBSTINATELY GRIP THE HEADCANON THAT GAIUS IS THE REAL EMRYS "THE IMMORTAL ONE" IS THIS:

THIS IS GAIUS FALLING ON THE BED IN S1 EP1 WHEN MERLIN SAVES HIM FROM THE FALL DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE HOW FUCKING HARD HE FELL?? THE BED NEARLY FUCKING BROKE THAT'S HOW HARD EVEN WITH MERLIN'S MAGIC. THIS MAN IS NINETY, HE CANNOT HAVE FUCKING SURVIVED THAT

THIS IS HIM BEING THROWN BACK BY EDWIN'S MAGIC AND HITTING THE FUCKING PILLAR IN S1 EP6. REMEMBER, THIS MAN IS STILL 90 FUCKING DAMN YEARS OLD AND HE HAS JUST BEEN PUSHED BY MAGIC AND HIT A FUCKING PILLAR HIS BACK SHOULD BE FUCKING BROKEN. THIS MAN SHOULD BE DEAD.

THIS MAN NEARLY FUCKING DIED IN S1 EP13. HE IS NINETY FUCKING YEARS OLD AND HE NEARLY DIED. HE SHOULD BE RENDERED WEAK FOR-FUCKING-EVER BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS INSTEAD?

HE GETS TORTURED INSTEAD THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS IN S2 EP7.

AND THEN HE DRINKS A FUCKTON OF ALCOHOL IN THE TAVERN IN S3 EP3. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO NINETY-THREE YEAR OLDS WHEN THEY DRINK ALCOHOL?

[x]

THEY FUCKING DIE. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. AND YET, HE LIVES COMFORTABLY UNTIL A 101.

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN S4 EP7 WHEN HE'S 94-95? DO YOU? DO YOU??????

HE GETS KNOCKED OUT

FLUNG LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES ON A CART (14:55)

TORTURED PHYSICALLY AND MOSTLY PSYCHOLOGICALLY

AND THEN CARRIED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES AGAIN AND THAT TOO ON FUCKING HORSEBACK LIKE THAT AT A GALLOPING SPEED WHERE EVEN A HEALTHY PERSON WILL HALF-DIE LET ALONE A NINETY-FIVE YEAR OLD MAN.

AND THATS NOT ALL

HE THEN GETS STARVED AND DEHYDRATED WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE IN S4 EP13

AND HE'S STILL UP AND KICKING

EVEN WHEN HE GETS KNOCKED OUT WITH A FUCKING ROCK IN S5 EP12

IN FUCKING CONCLUSION:

GAIUS IS THE REAL FUCKING EMRYS BECAUSE BY THIS POINT IN THE SHOW HE IS A HUNDRED AND FUCKING ONE AND HE CAN STILL WITHSTAND TORTURE, STARVATION, BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES, KNOCKED OUT MULTIPLE TIMES, AND NOT TO MENTION- WORKING IN A HIGH-STRESS ENVIRONMENT EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE- HE IS STILL

FUCKING

ALIVE.

FUCK.

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

HI QUEEN!!!! thoughts on the vision morgause showed to arthur and her motivations/was she lying/ should Arthur have killed uther?

AHHHHHH IVE BEEN WANTED TO BE ASKED THIS AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

alright so i think the first thing that needs to be considered is what her intentions were when she showed him the vision. i think the main consensus is that she wanted Arthur to kill Uther, and while i agree, i think Morgause deserves a few more layers than that. i genuinely think Morgause wanted the truth to be known.

imo, from what we've seen, Morgause is extremely similar to Morgana. in the early seasons, Morgana is justice with kindness. Morgause is justice without. Later, we watch Morgause slowly "corrupt" Morgana and watch her lose her kindness, turning her into the heartless villain she is by season five.

i think Morgause, while not out of the deep goodness of her heart, saw the injustice, and wanted it to be corrected. this manifested mostly in the form of Uther's death, but i do believe a small part of her just wanted the truth to be known :)

whether or not she was lying is something we will never truly know, but she could have been lying about two different things, and i want to attack them separately.

i 100% believe she wasn't lying about Uther using magic for Arthur's birth. i've wondered A LOT how the fuck she knew though, because sorry, who told her?? and merlin is the show it is, so it doesn't tell you these things, but there are enough breadcrumbs left behind so that we can assume she was a pupil of Nimueh's and learned of it from her.

but whether it was actually a vision of Ygraine? i really don't know. i'm not going to lie, the first time i saw the scene, it gave me all the wrong vibes. the ghost of Ygraine is able to meet her son for >5 minutes and one of the maybe two things she says to him is about how Uther used magic to birth Arthur and it killed her?? i don't know. it's strange.

but we also have to remember that we actually don't know anything about Ygraine! honestly, the fandom and fics tend to mention her x10 more than the actual show does. Arthur hardly speaks of her, as well as Uther, and we have to remember that this is the man who essentially killed his wife and is forced to live with that every goddamn day and is 100% romanticizing the woman she was—and then all Arthur has ever heard of her is this romanticized version from his father, and this is the dead mother he's never met. he's going to do some embellishing of her own.

so, for all we know, Ygraine was a terrible person. we really don't know. so i have no conclusive answer to whether or not Morgause was lying about it being a vision, and i think the show actually intended it that way. because that doesn't actually matter. what Ygraine said—that's the truth. the cold, honest truth. whether it actually came from his mother or from a false mimicry of her doesn't actually matter.

another thing i find really interesting is that while Morgause was obviously trying to provoke Arthur with this information and was clearly manipulating him, she really didn't take any extreme steps to ensure he killed Uther. this was also her first step to bring down Uther. it's almost like she tried to find the most moral option she could that dealt the fairest form of justice, and only when it failed was she forced to resort to more gruesome, hands-on approaches.

it also really doesn't seem like she has anything against Arthur in the beginning, which is so fascinating to me, but moving on lol.

now for the BIG one:

should Arthur have killed Uther in The Sins of the Father?

god, this one is hard, because you have to consider it from all angles.

from an objective, justice-based standpoint, you could say that Morgause was absolutely in the right in all of this, and that after learning this information, it was Arthur's duty to kill his father. his father killed his own wife due to his desperation for an heir, and then spent half a lifetime destroying an entire culture and group of people in an attempt to stem his guilt.

so, yes. Arthur should have killed his father, if we're viewing this from the eyes of pure justice.

but for Arthur's own conscious? from a political standpoint? absolutely the fuck not. it would have destroyed Arthur. even when Uther died season four, he was a wreck, so imagine if it has been Arthur. dear god.

and then imagine being an average citizen of Camelot, for whom Uther was probably an alright to not great king, but no one who deserves death, and learning that your beloved Prince Arthur committed patricide and his now king? jesus. that's not how you establish good subject-monarch relations.

and if enemy kingdoms heard about it? god, all the knights must be horribly divided, because most of them swore themselves to Camelot and its royalty, but who the hell do you stand with when your two royals tried to kill each other and one of them was successful? enemy kingdoms would attack, and with their armies as divided as they'd be, who knows how that'd go.

so overall, no. i genuinely believe Arthur shouldn't have killed his father. but that doesn't mean that Uther didn't deserve death.

anyways, i think that's all! this was a lot of fun, and tysm for the ask once again <3

[tiodolma]

You have finished Kaamelot, right? 😗 So, what do you like more: BBC, Starz or Kaamelot?

Thank you for this ask, @the-king-and-the-druidess

I'm gonna put it this way. BBC Merlin (the show) fascinated and pissed me off so much that it opened me to all other Arthuriana and other modern adaptations because of my desire to understand just why everything went to sht in the series (⌒_⌒;)

Meanwhile I like how solid Camelot (Starz) and Kaamelott were in terms of honest characterization.

Kaamelott may be, at most, a gag/comedy show but the love/passion/genius of Alexander Astier (producer/showrunner and Kaamelott!Arteur) is so real it just shines, you know? The care that has been put in the comedy series.... it shows.. it really shows. Kaamelott is a product of sincerity and love. It is honest. It doesn't shy away from unsavory topics. Not one character claims to be the ultimate good. Not one character is the ultimate evil. All of them are idiots and all of them are smart. It's so human. It is disjointed, there's no real plot, it is funny, heartwarming... but when it hits you, it hits you. IT'S GREAT. That's what I can say. ٩(◕‿◕)۶

Camelot (Starz) is a masterpiece in itself. I like it so I really don't have a lot of complaints about it other than certain choices (esp surrounding igraine and leontes/lancelot). The storytelling was more solid. The characters and worldbuilding were more grounded and mature and closer to the legends. The dynamics were pretty much what you'd expect arthur-centric arthuriana should be on screen.

..........................

What i feel for BBC MERLIN isn't hate... it is more like.. disgusted awe. I do admit that they went to lengths (and audacity) that probably no other modern arthuriana has ventured before. The show left behind more What The Fuck questions, idealogies and propaganda rather than answers though. (And that is insidious especially when the show's cover was that it was "just a family-friendly show" and "geared towards children", YIKES).

BBC Merlin is not my first rodeo on a series where everyone-and-their-mother just wants to "fix it." In fact I am used to stuff that needs a lot of "fixit". However BBC Merlin just has this unprecedented level of fixit potential that I have never seen before. I don't know if that is awful or not. I don't know if it's shoddy writing or not. I am still on dying on the hill that the writers tried their best but the producers and bbc just had other ideas. idk.

Perhaps i am at fault though. I am more drawn to things where everyone is morally grey. In true early arthuriana fashion, BBC MERLIN IS NOT MORALLY GREY. There is an intense Black and White messaging that is so prevalent in the seres. It's so... Christian even when it never mentioned Christianity. There was a clear line drawn between who was the absolute good and absolute evil. Regardless of their actions, the characters were never classified as "doing bad when they are on the side of good" or "doing good when they are on the side of bad" because their roles have already been predetermined. They were just all just either "good" or "evil" and nothing else within the context of the show.

That's the irony of it all. BBC MERLIN being so unapologetic, absolutist and propaganda-like actually made it a lot more "Early Arthurian" in spirit compared to the "i know what i did was wrong but i gotta do it anyway" kind of morally gray storytelling that the other modern adaptations such as Starz Camelot and Kaamelott have.

And that's what sets BBC MERLIN apart from Kaamelott and Starz Camelot. It was so idealistic. It disgusts me. It brings me awe. I can't watch it anymore. But I want to study it. I wanna view it under microscope.

..............

If possible I'd rather have unlimited runs of Kaamelott and Starz Camelot. Five seasons of BBC Merlin was enough. We already got the message. Let the bbc merlin actors rest and pursue better roles without always being pressured to return to it.

[thisisjustmefangirling]

Merlin rewatch 1x04

That Camelot red vs Mercian blue is very Capulet vs Montague

Merlin admits the ways of the court are a mystery to him. Merlin, baby. You need étiquette training. Have someone teach you. Please.

Arthur, that outfit you put Merlin in is ridiculous, but also... a bit too put together for a servant ? It's not just the hat... Merlin is wearing a cape !

Merlin having a crush on Nimueh and thinking she's as beautiful as a princess is sweet 💕

Merlin making accusations without proof, in front of everybody, AGAIN.

Arthur accusing him of being an idiot and drinking, again, to save his ass and the relationship with the Mercians

Uther is ruthless and unfair here. Bayard was willing to prove his goodwill by drinking out of the goblet but looks like Uther decided that poisoned cup or not, Merlin would suffer from the outcome, either by being poisoned or being punished for lying.

Arthur protests, because he may be a royal prat but he's not like his father.

"Merlin, apologise. This is a mistake ! I'll drink it". Arthur 🥺

ARTHUR IS THE FIRST ONE GETTING TO MERLIN WHEN HE CRUMBLES UNDER THE EFFECT OF THE POISON

Morgana grabs a knife when everybody draws their sword ! I love her. I wish she hadn't been turned into such a villain.

The Mortaeus flower is guarded by an awful magical beast and Arthur goes "Sounds like fun" and immediately decides to go save his servant's life

The next scene between Uther and Arthur is really good at showing the difference between them. Arthur starts questioning his father and they both reveal their values. Uther doesn’t care who dies because to him the life of the future King of Camelot is worth more than a servant's. Arthur refuses to stand by and watch, especially since to his knowledge, Merlin has saved his life twice already. "Then don't watch", Uther says.

Morgana is GREAT here. She wanted to fight Bayard's men with a LADLE ?

"Spare me the lecture, I've already had it from Uther". Uther's kids are just really good at opposing him 😆

"Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences". "What kind of King would Camelot want ? One that would risk his life to save that of a lowly servant or one who does what his father tells him to ?" I love seeing Arthur being challenged and growing into the King he will be.

"He's getting hotter" The innuendos in that episode are comiiiiing.

Merlin speaking 💫 magic language 💫 in front of Gwen. I wish she had put two and two together before the finale...

Morgana makes me laugh ! She defies Uther and defends Arthur.

Funny how Uther sees his son as "just a boy" and Morgana goes "Have you seen your son recently ?" And tells him he's old enough to make up his own mind and have his own experience of the world. Is Morgana still Arthur's older sister in this story ? She would be older than him then.

Merlin moaning Arthur's name as he lays dying and feverish is gay. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

The idea of Nimueh as a pretty wounded woman in the forest is a great throwback to the original Arthurian texts, where young maidens were often on the way of knights as temptations or traps, steps in their quests.

Hell yeah Arthur's wrist move with his sword !!!!!!

You slay that cocatris by THROWING your sword !?

"Arthur, it's a trap". Merlin, he sadly can't hear you ! I wish they had shared a telepathic connection, it would have been so useful sometimes.

Though... How the fuck can Merlin see him and what is going on ?

Arthur's... pauldron (?) Is decorated ? I had never noticed before.

Arthur manages to slay a big spider with one hand while the other is hanging on to that rock for dear life. Impressive, indeed.

"It is not your destiny to die at my hand" please Ma'am it's only season one, I am NOT ready for season five and its pain.

"Go on, then ! Finish me off" Arthur has always been brave in the face of his potential own death.

That blue light seems so gentle and warm, and the music is epic.

"Leave them (the flowers)" Merlin stop being so selfless and let Arthur save your life, the flowers are RIGHT THERE.

"Faster! Faster! Climb ! Follow the light!" Once again, he can’t hear you... and how do you even know what is happening to Arthur ? Why doesn’t it happen again later ?

"Inform the King ! Arthur has returned to Camelot". Who the fuck are you to not call him PRINCE Arthur ?

I wish Arthur's red shirt looked fancier, nothing about it indicates he's royalty.

"Gaius knows what to do with it [the flower]. Put me in the stocks for a week, a month even, I don't care. Just make sure it gets to him. I'm begging you". Arthur cares so much about Merlin 🥺

Uther truly doesn’t give a fuck about Merlin's life... He saved his son twice, he is Gaius' apprentice, and he crushed that flower, in an attempt to teach his son that "there is a right and a wrong way of doing things" and he shouldn't be disobeyed. Asshole. "I'll see that you're let out in a week and then you can find yourself another servant". Servants are all replaceable to him.

Gwen shows then that even though she seems shy, she is also brave.

Arthur using the pretense of his own well-known arrogance to get the flower to Merlin by refusing the food Gwen brings him... yes King ❤️

"We're not all as precious as Her Royal Highness" that guard walked so Gwaine could run with his "princess".

"The poison was created using magic, we might need to use magic to create the antidote" dude that's just exposition at this point, you could have tricked Gwen into leaving without saying anything

You can tell Gaius hasn’t used magic in two decades... he may care about Merlin but he's a two faced bitch.

Merlin's heart has stopped and was probably restarted because his magic won’t let him die.

Gwen kissing him haha

Uther pisses me off so much omg, he seems this close to getting angry when Gaius asks him for a minute of his time. His arrogance is worse than his son's, because there is no changing him.

"She's a powerful sorceress, she can enchant the eye that beholds her". Such an interesting concept ! No need to change your face, you just make people believe they are looking at someone else.

Morgana looks so soft. I love her dresses.

Arthur seems changed by this experience. He's uncharacteristically humble in that scene at the top of the castle.

"I'm glad you're back" they were already like siblings... if only we could have kept that dynamic between them...

Uther, you chicken and liar, not telling your son the truth about Nimueh...

"You did the right thing, even though you were disobeying me. I'm proud of you, Arthur. Never forget that". Damn for once Uther is doing something right. Arthur better remember that moment, indeed.

Arthur goes to check on Merlin 💕 Like "omg are you alright Merlin ? Barely alive ? I still wait for you to be there tomorrow morning when I wake up because looks like after only four episodes I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore."

"Arthur ? Thank you"; "You too". WHAT IS THAT OH MY GOD SO HE HAS ACTUALLY THANKED MERLIN BEFORE THE DAY HE DIED ????

Arthur is so soft for Merlin omg <3

I don't understand why Nimueh wanted to kill Merlin when he is Emrys and is supposed to bring magic back to Camelot and free magic users...

Aaaaand in the next episode we will meet Lancelot. 😊

[sleepy-moron]

Comicgayt

I think I’ve actually made a fairly solid connection between byler and one of the most iconic gay couples in marvel history, and I know I’m not the first person to make connections between Will and Billy Kaplan but this is a bit more in depth + some other interesting parallels and a little bit of memes……potential major plot spoilers for s5 if I’m right ahead tho

So I was checking some fan wikis to refresh my knowledge on Billy Kaplan because I am very confident that Will takes at least some inspiration from him (gay nerd with reality warping powers and a heavy association with magic+ it takes a while for people to realize just how fucking powerful he actually is) and the scarlet witch and I randomly had the idea that I should look into Teddy Altman (aka Hulkling aka Billy’s husband) to see if there were any significant parallels between him and Mike because I thought it would be interesting……and while there are a few other parallels that are pretty likely to just be coincidental…..there is a much bigger one that could be plausible as an intentional reference. I need to establish the direction I think Will’s story could go in season five first and then we can talk about the stuff that involves both pairs.

So Will is going to be targeted by Henry in some way, that much is obvious. It’s also a pretty reasonable assumption that Will can control/warp the upside down to some extent (although Will has no idea he can) and that’s why it is still stuck on the day Will vanished as a result of Will being unable to move past what happened to him. I brought up the scarlet witch earlier because she’s Billy’s mom but also because of the House of M storyline (aka literary what wandavision is based off of) from the comics. This involves someone (Wanda) with the ability to warp reality to create a perfect world for themselves to live in as a result of a breakdown and rewrites reality and the memories of everyone else around them to prevent people from destroying this new world.

While I don’t necessarily think Will is going to create a new reality on his own I do think he will be stuck in some version of a perfect world where he is either not responsible for its creation and thus is the only one who knows this illusion is an illusion, or is the one responsible and doesn’t know it which would mean another main character (Mike or El probably) to realize something is wrong and fix it, or Will consciously chooses to stay in the fake world and needs convincing to leave. This ties in with Billy as when it was discovered that his powers could reshape reality there was a conflict where multiple characters were unsure if Teddy was warped into being the ideal boyfriend or was straight up completely fabricated by Billy’s powers. Will’s idea of a perfect world would need to address him being in love with Mike, likely by him and Mike being together or having mutual feelings in the perfect world.

So that’s where I think the story could be going with Will next season, so now we can circle back around and talk about The big parallel: King Arthur and Merlin references. On the comic book side of things we have two boys (both of whom are gay) who are both massive nerds, one of which is secretly an alien prince that is basically destined to one day be king and pulls a special sword out of a stone on the request of a group of alien knights and is deemed by the knights to not be currently able to lead them because he is too loyal to his friends on earth to leave them behind or he wouldn’t be worthy of the sword. The other boy is a magician that unknowingly had reality warping powers (and is also a twin but that’s not super relevant here) a heavy association with wizards and is literally both married to the other boy and was also given the title of court magician a la Merlin by his husband. (Additionally Billy has been turned evil and in that state is referred to as demiurge which is a form of evil god responsible for the creation of the material world and a specific interpretation of this force is basically just what vecna is in canon)

In stranger things we also have two nerdy boys, one of which is Mike who is heavily compared to a paladin and a leader but is depicted wielding a sword and shield in the painting, and the shield literally has a crown symbol on it and has some other evidence suggesting he gets a sword in s5. He also is way too self sacrificing and protective of his friend to the point he literally would rather throw himself off a cliff then living with the guilt of being the reason his friends got hurt. The other boy is Will who is gay and in love with his best friend, has a load of twin imagery with El, is very likely to have been the reason the upside down is mirroring Hawkins and is frozen in time, and has heavy wizard theming with an emphasis on him and Mike being a team and who has been literally possessed by Vecna.

So given that it’s possible Will and Mike draw inspiration from both Billy and Teddy and also Arthur and Merlin this makes a specific poster very interesting in my opinion:

So we’ve all lost our minds over this image, and if we look at some comic covers of Billy and Teddy…….

This is a really fun coincidence but I just think it’s neat and I wanted to share it with you!

Ps: These two also had romantic subtext that fans picked up on way sooner then it was revealed in story as well…..it’s almost like byler might be romantic y’all/s

[weakforarwen]

Was there any way to make Morgana’s descent into full blown evil tyrant more believable? Like how does she go from someone whose main goal seems to be to take down a tyrant whose murdering people like her, even if it’s not always done in the most well thought out way to an evil tyrant herself who wants to torture, abuse, and even kill her former friends for a throne she now apparently wants for herself?

I don't think there was any way for Morgana's transformation to occur naturally.

I could understand if Morgana became so bitter and disillusioned that she no longer cared about killing whoever stood in her way, especially those without magic who she would consider her enemies. To her, it would all fit into a bigger picture (end Uther's reign, become Queen, restore magic to Camelot), and if she had to kill innocent people (who would not be that innocent in her eyes, because people feared magic and often ratted witches and warlocks out to the King) to achieve her goals, then so be it. It'd all be part of a "greater good".

I could understand Morgana becoming morally ambiguous; someone with "good" intentions, who cared for her kind, but whose methods were cruel and ultimately damned and hurt her own kind as well. At times, Morgana was a more sympathetic character that you could feel sorry for - for example, with Mordred, whom she genuinely cared for, and who had hurt her by initially choosing magic-hating Arthur over her; and with Aithusa, for whom Morgana showed loyalty, love, and sacrifice.

So, even this crazy-pants, evil Morgana could've been a somewhat sympathetic villain had the writers tried. However, imo, the reason why her transformation was just not believable at all, and why I could never support Morgana, was because, somehow, inexplicably, she became a snob overnight.

It's like the writers wanted to make her as Uther-like as possible. Even if Morgana convinced herself that the only way to change things was to kill Uther at all costs, and to be ruthless, I can't understand why she would hate servants? I get her killing Gwen because she needed to take the throne of Camelot, but to hate Gwen simply for being a servant? To be so disgusted that a servant could become Queen? And to hate Merlin so much for that too? What the fuck happened to her? How could her ideals change so much? Someone who stood up for the poor, for those Uther overlooked (like people with magic), who believed in equality... why would she suddenly start hating them?

I could've accepted Morgana's transformation to some extent had it not been for that. Having "hating servants" as a new character trait went beyond any "normal" descent into madness and evil. Had she decided every single royal should die, I would've understood that - the rich feared the power her kind had, which they couldn't control or take for themselves, and thus hunted down those with magic to stay in power and assert their dominance. But for Morgana to start hating servants and the powerless more than royalty was just utter bullshit.

After all, weren't the druids and other magic users outcasts? Most of them were poor and homeless due to being hunted down by people like Uther.

I suppose Morgana could've simply realized that people were all the same, that servants weren't all innocent either - after all, Merlin had tried to kill her. Maybe she felt like she couldn't care about anyone anymore because caring had nearly gotten her killed. In season 2, she had only wanted to take down an evil tyrant yet Merlin had made her the enemy instead.

But if she didn't care for anyone anymore, why would she want to free her people? She was free already, powerful and unstoppable. What good would bringing magic back to the five kingdoms have done? It would've been about power alone, but why would she want power just for the sake of having it? Did she want to show people she was superior? That someone with magic could become Queen too? Was that her ultimate vengeance? Making the people of Camelot submit to someone with magic? But she didn't use to be vengeful or power hungry, and it still wouldn't explain why she hated all servants. There must've been plenty of servants with magic... Idk...

The best explanation I can find for Morgana is Morgause. Morgana didn't use to despise servants but her sister did. It's like, after season 2, Morgana became a reflection of Morgause. I'm starting to believe that Morgause did to Morgana what Morgana did to Gwen in season 5, and that, sadly, by the time Morgause died, the real Morgana had already been lost, so she continued Morgause's work. Morgause was certainly capable of doing it, considering she cast a spell on Morgana without her consent in The Fires of Idirsholas.

I think the writers could've justified Morgana's transformation that way, but that would've made Morgana a simple puppet, and thus more victim than villain. But her story would've become even more tragic, and killing her more complicated, because her old friends would've been torn between stopping her and saving her, or perhaps would've tried to achieve both with no success, and innocent people would've died due to their indecision. To me, that could've fixed some additional issues I had with Morgana, such as why she stayed alive for so long and no one, ie. Merlin or Arthur, tried to hunt her down and kill her.

However, that would've been a cop-out. The writers wanted Morgana to be truly evil, to be the real bad guy, but she wouldn't have been much of a foe had she been magically brainwashed by Morgause - it would've been more realistic, perhaps, but then Morgause would've been the real villain.

Regardless, I believe the real Morgana was too good to ever become fully evil, and certainly not the way they did it. To me, the writers' only choice was between a morally ambiguous Morgana or an evil puppet. Additionally, had Morgana been more like Uther from the very start (ie. cunning, power-hungry, hating servants, etc.), her transformation would've made a lot of sense - however, it would not have been much of a plot twist, or shocking in any way...

The writers wanted to have their cake and eat it too..

Thanks for the ask! I hope my perspective helped in any way. Sorry it took so long to get back to you!

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[mumble-muse]

📘!

Hey Will <3

So I fully reblogged this ask game so I could have a reason to ramble about one specific idea (I mean I have others I can talk about so anyone feel free to send more 📘)

Okay, so this is currently more of a series of character moments than a plot but enjoy!

So canon AU diverging specifically from 04x09, where at the end of the canon events of that episode, when Lancelot says goodbye to Merlin at the end he doesn't actually die (yay!).

So Merlin has a de-shaded Lancelot who has vague and unsettling memories of being a shade and the veil, but is aware Arthur et al still thinks he's a traitor (oh no!).

Merlin does their usual thing and tries to talk to Arthur about Lancelot being enchanted and Gwen being banished, and they have the conversation they have in Hunter's Heart where Arthur threatens to banish Merlin.

And Merlin fucking snaps.

I really feel like given that Merlin has just gone through everything with Lancelot (resurfacing all that stuff from the veil), Lamia just happened, Gaius being accused of being a traitor, Gwen getting banished, everything with the Formorrah etc etc that it's a pretty reasonable reaction. Like, Arthur still doesn't trust Merlin? Arthur would threaten to banish Merlin?? Merlin has a baby dragon waiting for them, maybe it's time to go be a full-time dragon parent.

Anyway, so Merlin and Lancelot leave, and go find Gwen. At some point before Gwaine tries to go with Merlin, but Merlin stops him due to a combination of look after Camelot, Lamia trauma, and Gwaine's latent anti-magic stuff.

So now it's Merlin, plus a very traumatised Gwen and the man who caused her banishment in the woods. So y'know, awkward.

And then Gwaine shows up anyway. So now it's Merlin, a guy who knows they have magic but was very recently dead/enchanted, one traumatised bestie who doesn't know about the magic (but I'd argue suspects), and a guy who doesn't know about the magic (and has anti-magic tendencies) and is pretty suspicious of Lancelot.

Basically it's a bunch of confused and sad people wandering around the woods.

(Elyan has been asked by Gwen to look after Arthur, and no one else knows Lancelot is alive. Leon and Percival and Elyan and Gaius are still in Camelot).

Merlin tells Gwen and Gwaine officially about their magic (cue drama).

Gwen and Lancelot decide to just be friends cuz yikes enchantment will mess up any relationship.

And this is 100% where my story plan ends and it's just a set of bullet points with question marks next to them:

Merlin goes full Emrys, and at some point brokers a peace with Arthur (but doesn't tell him they're Merlin). I really want to write no Merlin+Arthur reconciliation, because I just feel like if Merlin had space and lived for a little while with people who loved them and their magic, they might think even less kindly of Arthur and Camelot (although anger softened with time etc). They just become allies, with maybe some hope for proper friendship in the future. So two sides of one coin, but at a distance - which is pretty damn tragic.

Percival and Elyan and Gaius as Merlin's people on the inside ;)

I really want to write something where Gwen goes to Morgana as a emissary of Emrys and she somehow sorts out that whole deal.

I want to write a pro-magic legalisation/decriminalisation plot where Merlin stops being so damn patient and complicit, but also where Morgana kills fewer people...

Some plot point which mimics the outcome of the ghost druid boy ep, but is driven more by Merlin using their knowledge of Arthur and his personal actions against the druids etc.

This is set pre-season five so maybe child/teen mordred shows up.

Maayyyybe reunited Arwen, with Gwen important and cool in her own right as Emrys' ambassador etc. But maybe no romance stuff at all, I dunno.

Plus dragons.

Ooof, so yeah... that's what I have so far and I cannot stop thinking about it... As you can see it would be... long... so we'll see if I ever write it!

Put “📓” in my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

[princess-of-morkva]

Sooo

@kissme-withyour-cherrylipstick i want do address this first. in gwen's first three years as the queen, she was arthur's queen. while she did have power, she didn't have the lawmaking and executive power of such extent. as a queen, she probably did have her other duties and advised arthur, but she could not just change such a deep rooted law with her will alone. also, her political position must have been more than unstable in those years - not only was she from the serving class, but the last time she and arthur were engaged it fell through because of her cheating, (we know she was enchanted. but people didn't) and ended with her banishment. we can only guess her reputation amongst the lords and counsel was less than pristine. she simply did not have the authority to do such major changes, especially after camelot suffered a disastrous attack by morgana, representing magic forces, not once but twice in recent years and the first years of her reign they still likely had to deal with it's lasting consequences. the public opinion on magic could not have been favourable in those circumstances.

and we do see that while little change has been done to the laws themselves, the execution of those laws changed during arthur and gwen's reign. while the show loved to be wildly inconsistent, we do see that unlike in uther's days, association with magic alone was not a death sentence. even in first episode of s5, sefa was convicted for the crime of leaking sensitive military information and nor for having a sorcerer father.

season five setting is very sensitive in that way, while we see camelot knights fighting against sorcerers, it is usually not for the reason of them being sorcerers alone but for them being hostile forces that actively attacked camelot's forces. we do not see magical criminals being convicted for their magic alone, but for their actual crimes. for killing people, usually. (which is the showwrtiters fault. they completely leaned in into 'magic people be evil' narrative and did not allow any room for magic being redeemed in eyes of arthur or anyone else. which they did for plot convenience. they very conveniently left out any druids from s5, not only avoiding showing us how exactly did arthur proceed after his promise at the shrine. we do not see any druid persecution during his reign, but we also do not see any druids at all. because good magic representation was extremely inconvenient to s5 showwriters because then they would have to allow arthur to confront it and act accordingly. which with how they aimed to portray arthur would've had to end with him having realisations and acting accordingly. and they did not want that. so druids completely fucking dissapear and insted we only have renegade bands actively attacking knights and killing people all the time. because writers are inconsistent like that. )

to put it shortly, s5 camelot acted against magical forces mostly retroactively, unlike uther's camelot, where the 'action' was taken not even proactively as much as preventively. to put it in polite terms. and we do not see a case of a person being convicted for peaceful usage of magic. so (as ai said before, WE DO NOT SEE ANY PEACEFUL USAGE OF MAGIC IN S5 AT ALL, wtf writers?)

of course, there was still muuuch room for improvement in those policies, but that would be something that arthur would've had to do.

(i also want to mention the guy from the beginning of ep5. we know that he killed a camelot knight. and that was the crime he was expressly punished for but. we do not know in what circumstances it happened and who attacked first.)

okay this was a long side tangent. fuck. i didn't even begin to talk about my take itself yet 😭

alriiiiiiight

why do i believe that Gwen either knew or suspected about Merlin having magic?

I don't think she knew it for sure until the finale. But i think she had pretty strong suspicions. She wasn't even surprised at Gaius's confirmation. Not a bit. She figured it out herself and that is a fact, we only do not know when exactly.

I think it was a combination. Of everything. From the dog statue and her watching after merlin in poisoned chalice. (did you see the look she gave gaius in that scene? 'i know you're not telling the truth but i trust you so i'll go'. really bringing water was a stupid excuse from gaius and he didn't even use it in the end)

In the end of Servant of Two Masters, Gwen doesn't ask Merlin how he got rid of the snake. And she almost certainly knew it was his doing as he was gone, and than returned without it, even if we take it that Gaius didn't tell her what exactly he was going to do. Logically, she should've asked Merlin how he did, if she believed he had nothing to hide. But she didn't. She simply said she was glad that he was back, and didn't ask questions, sure that the snake was truly gone, not asking how. As she did with the dog statue, and the water fetching, and with when she was a doe-

about the doe

GWEN: I think. What are you doing here?

MERLIN: You were injured.

GWEN: Oh, yes, I remember now. Where's Morgana?

No further questions asked. She just accepts the fact that Merlin somehow instantly knew she was the doe while nobody else did. AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT SHE HAD AN ARROW IN HER LEG. AND IT'S HEALED NOW. No questions asked.

And Gwen is smart. You can't tell me she just accepted everything at face value. She must've had questions and she must've come to conclusions. And those conclusions led her choosing not to voice the questions.

So I believe she definitely knew there was something Merlin was hiding, and it was of illegal, probably magical nature. But she also completely trusted him with it. Really with the amount of borderline illegal magical books in Gaius's chambers she's definitely seen throughout the years it wouldn't even that far stretched of a guess.

also i think you can very clearly see that i'm biased and it's all cherrypicking. and also i'm sleep deprived and high on caffeine. but it's my personal theory and i like it. also writers are inconsistent bitches. i said it. s5 makes no fucking sense.

i believe Gwen always knew or at least strongly suspected that Merlin had magic. ask me why i'll tell you

[hauntedhikingsociety]

God i’m having thoughts now i got so blindsided by that goddamn merlin post

merlin could have been a well written tragedy. it could have been cathartic instead of rushed or unsatisfying, the elements were there.

my top most tragic ending for merlin is like, midway through season 5, merlin’s magic gets revealed. and arthur’s pissed, he’s angry, he banishes merlin (even though deep down he doesn’t want to he’s just reeling and upset about not knowing before) and then the knights and gaius and gwen all come to their own conclusions and convince arthur that he was wrong to banish him and magic isn’t evil. and arthur goes “>:( okay, i guess you’re right let’s get merlin back”

but merlin has been on his own adventure, possibly been picked up by morgana who doesn’t know he’s emrys and is willing to forgive and forget if merlin joins her side and somehow, he discovers the latest plot to take down arthur and camelot. and he stops it just like usual, but this time, he dies in the process. arthur gets there just in time to see merlin die for him.

naturally this changes everything for arthur knowing that merlin risked his life for him after being so poorly treated. in a dramatic gesture he goes back on all the laws against magic and the last few episodes involve a few battles that create albion and it’s all great and happy ever after.

if you are thinking “hey well that’s not very tragic” you know what breaks the immersion and makes the ending of merlin a lot less hard hitting? the fact that the prophecy of arthur uniting the land doesn’t come true. arthur uniting the land to become the greatest king that camelot has ever known was a hard fact for the whole first four seasons and the fact that it doesn’t come to fruition in any kind of satisfying way is what makes the ending of merlin frustrating instead of sad. look at fucking macbeth. all the prophecies in that believably come true even through loopholes. the merlin writers really said fuck the conventions of tragedy we can do worse.

the prophecy had to come true for the ending to feel complete. the tragedy had to come from another angle so in this angle the tragedy is that merlin is dead. no prophecy ever said that merlin would be alive to see albion. and merlin has spent five seasons fighting tooth and nail for this kingdom where he would finally be safe, only to die believing arthur had forsaken him, thinking that he’d failed. how would you emotionally recover from that?? you simply wouldn’t.

i also like this idea more because merlin spends five seasons going “oh well if arthur knew. if he knew all i’d done” and this offers the opportunity for arthur to say “if merlin knew.” it gives us a bit of long awaited role reversal which the canon ending did not give us.

at this point i’m just spitballing things i would have liked to see but the tl;dr—

s5 of bbc merlin is a poorly written tragedy and maybe if the writers had a little more appreciation for shakespeare and/or the tragic conventions they would have been able to write a better finale.

[fxndom-hoe]

So I was reading a ScreenRant article about what BBC Merlin got right about the stories and what it got wrong, but some of their explanations about the show were wrong and it was starting to annoy me. So I decided to hash it out here on tumblr and have my piece. And so that means you all are forced to hear me rant about some dumb article from the internet (or you can ignore me, I’m not the boss of you 😂).

Anyway, here's:

(I’m not gonna go through all the points, just the one’s I feel they got totally wrong.)

(Also, I’m going to try to keep this as unshippy as possible, but my own interpretations of the show are probably going to come out.)

WARNING: MENTION OF R*PE FROM SOURCE MATERIAL. ALSO, SPOILERS!!!

Ok so maybe this is my own opinion (like this whole post is going to be) but Merlin is technically a teacher. Not in the sense that Gaius is, not in the traditional “here, read this book for a lesson” sort of teacher, but he has actively tried to teach Arthur right from wrong during some instances where the royals were being stupid. Especially when Uther was trying to influence Arthur to do something that he thought was right (but since we know Uther, it was usually (always) actually wrong). Merlin was there to tell Arthur that his father was wrong, and in a way, that’s teaching/being a teacher.

Also, Merlin not being a lover is really a matter of opinion. He may not have had many actual romantic relationships canonically, but that isn’t what defines a “ladies man.” He’s attracted lots of women (and women). “Seen as inferior” my ass. In season one, Gwen had a major crush on him. In season five, Merlin had a slight flirtation with Sefa, even if that didn’t really last long. Throughout the series, we see the sexual tension between Merlin and Arthur. And Gwaine fell madly in love with him since they first met. And, of course, there’s Freya, which they already implied. So just because he’s only had one on-screen relationship doesn’t mean he’s not a heartbreaker. Also, he may not have had an actual relationship with Morgana, there’s definitely some kind of tension between them after she turns evil (whether it’s sexual or just them being enemies is up to you).

This may be me being really nitpicky, but the first time we see Excalibur IS 👏 NOT 👏 WITH 👏 FREYA 👏 This is the part that made me want to make this post. MERLIN 👏 DID 👏 NOT 👏 GET 👏 EXCALIBUR 👏 FROM 👏 FREYA 👏 Like, did the writer of this article even watch the show??? The episode where we see Excalibur for the first time is LITERALLY CALLED “EXCALIBUR!!!” And in the episode, it shows Excalibur being made when Kilgharrah BREATHED ON IT!!! Like, I don’t mean to be rude to the author, but you literally just had to watch the show one (1) time to know this. Maybe don’t write an article about a show you’ve never watched?? (Again, I really don’t wanna be rude, but this really rubbed me the wrong way.)

Again, I’m probably nitpicking, but wasn’t that the point of the show? Like, “Here’s the story of King Arthur except Merlin’s a twenty year old twink instead.” ? I mean, this really wasn’t all that big of a deal, but I need content and I had an opinion on this, so I’m sharing it. 

I mean, for the most part, this is right. We got the whole love triangle thing going on between these three. We got the tasteless “Lancelot du Lac” episode, which I just... we’re not going to talk about it.

 I think we all know, at this point, assuming we’ve all seen the posts talking/complaining about how Gwen was a princess, but instead they made her a servant. Especially because I think in the source material, Gwen was white, and when the show made her black and demoted her to a servant it was racist. Personally (and if this is racist, you guys should call me out on it), I like it because it shows a poor woman of color rising above everyone else and becoming queen, and that’s very badass of her and very empowering for WOC. (I’m not BIPOC so if I’m wrong about this, and anyone who is BIPOC found it offensive that they made Gwen a servant rather than a princess, you have every right to be.)

And now for my complaint: Gwen did actually become an antagonist for a few episodes. I mean, yes, she was technically under Morgana’s spell, so that makes her a victim more than a villain, but the storyline of Dark!Gwen makes her a temporary antagonist. So, article, you are wrong (in a way).

Ok so apparently Uther is just a despicable man no matter what story you try to tell. Just absolutely disgusting. And the fact that in the tales, Merlin actually helps Uther r*pe a woman 🤢🤮 Absolutely disgusting. 

But that's not why I’m talking about this part. The reason I bring this up is because if you watched the show, you would know that Nimueh tells Uther that they WERE FRIENDS. She wasn’t just some random sorcerer who he asked to use dark magic. She was his FRIEND who he asked for help when his wife couldn’t conceive. I think it might’ve also been implied that she was Court Sorcerer (but that might’ve just been a headcanon that I read). But either way, Uther didn’t just turn to dark magic to have a child. He asked his friend for help then betrayed her when it backfired on him.

Again, no matter what happened, Uther is just all around a terrible man.

Ok so this part I don't really have a problem with, but I am confused. I haven't read any source material, so I don’t know this for sure, but I thought Arthur did know about Merlin’s magic. Maybe not in all the tales, but is there not a single one where Arthur knows of Merlin’s abilities? Can someone who’s read up on the source material fact check this for me please. Because I thought the whole “magic is illegal so Merlin has to hide from Arthur” thing was made up for the show, but maybe I’m wrong? Someone help please, thank you! 😊 

Ooohoohoo! Again, no problem with this specifically, but I am reacting. I always thought that Merlin always played a big role in Arthur’s life (not as best friend like in the show) but like an important advisor. I thought Merlin was more than just someone who played a minor role in Arthur’s life. Like, Merlin is such a big figure in pop culture, I could never even imagine that he wasn’t that important in Arthur’s life. Is he more important in the stories than he is to Arthur himself? Is that it? How does that work? I think it might be because I’m a huge Merthur shipper (yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bring ships into this, but I had to for this one), but I really can’t imagine Merlin not being important to Arthur. I mean, I watched this three hour long movie called Merlin starring Sam Neill, and if I’m remembering that correctly, didn’t Merlin raise Arthur? I can’t really remember, but this just feels so wrong to me.

So that's the end of the screenshots, but I do want to mention that the article (which I’ll be linking in the source) talked about how a difference between the story and the show is that in the story, Merlin doesn’t have a family, and just...   HOW SAD??? That is so heartbreaking, and maybe that’s just me imagining the show’s Merlin, our sweet boy who cares about family so fucking much, without a family, and that just makes me sad. But is that true, though? Does the Merlin in the King Arthur tales NOT HAVE A FAMILY??? OOOOOFFF! That’s fuckin rough. 

All right, so this is the end, but if any of you have opinions on the article or on my own opinions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks to anyone who actually read this whole thing. It was kind of long and pointless, but some of what was mentioned brought out such STRONG EMOTIONS from me, I just had to share.

[bellamyblakru]

How about a fanfiction like that:

Merlin and Arthur (the knights can also be there, but get separated from them) are on a quest (or patrol) and get attacked (by Morgana, bandits, some beast, whatever) and Merlin gets mortally wounded. Arthur carries him to a safe place and tries to take care of him. But soon, Arthur realises there’s not much he can do. The wound is too deep, to massive. Merlin knows it as well. Night after night after night, Arthur tries his best to help Merlin, who’s still holding on to his life, not ready to let go yet. In all the nights spend together, they get to know each other even more. Their deepest fears, secrets (obviously not Merlin's magic, yet.) and thoughts. They realise how much the other means to them. One night, it looks like Merlin is about to die. Arthur holds him in his arms, promises him that it’s gonna be okay and at the same time he apologises for not being able to save him. They fall asleep like that. The next day, they BOTH wake up, to Arthur’s and Merlins surprise. But what is even more surprising is the fact that Merlin is fully healed, only a small scar, a small wound is left. Arthur gets suspicious but is not sure what to think. Was ist magic? But Merlin had no magic, right? Merlin is scared, because he was sure he was gonna die. Both don’t know how to react or what to do, they’re confused. One night, Merlin sneaks away, and calls for Kilgarrah, and asks him what that’s supposed to mean. Kilgarrah then tells him, that he’s immortal and no mortal blade or anything else in that matter, can kill him. Merlin is angry and frustrated. He goes back to the camp and the next day is incredible silent and yes, also getting a little depressed. The thought of outliving everyone. Forever. He didn’t understand why.

holy shit im so sorry i wrote so much omgg i hope you enjoy 🥺this prompt is fucking incredible

send me an anonymous ask completing the sentence "I wish you would write a fic where..."?

YESYESYES FRIEND. IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO EXPLORE MERLIN’S MIND ABOUT IMMORTALITY. can you imagine how fucking isolating and terrifying it must be to find out THROUGH ALMOST DYING that you are literally unable to ever die?

the beginning of this fic sounds so fucking amazing and my mind is going like a mile a minute thinking about how i could write this in (possibly) both POVs of arthur and merlin—and explore how slowly arthur’s mind goes from complete fucking denial to grief even though he wasn’t gone yet into stubborn acceptance that his merlin will die and he can do absolutely nothing to stop it, and how merlin will go from acceptance, to grief of leaving arthur, to acceptance again (since he probably got the injury by saving arthur and we all know how much merlin values his own life). but the entire time he would be dying (no pun INTENDED) to tell arthur about everything but, in his delirium, he thinks dying knowing arthur loved him without ever knowing this fundamental aspect of himself is the better option—to not face the possibility that arthur will completely despise him for what he was born with in his last hours on this earth.

BUT I DIGRESS AND WANNA ADDRESS THE WHOLE IMMORTALITY SHIT. so like merlin was already becoming way more depressed and angry at the world by season five, right? so, finding out that not only does he have to balance loving arthur so fucking deeply that destiny means nothing, working as a full time servant and physician, working full time as arthur’s savior, helping everyone in camelot constantly, NOW he has to deal with the fact that he will outlive everyone he loves and has no choice in the matter. he could think that his magic, destiny, and immortality are cursed upon him—he chose arthur above all else, and maybe, just maybe, this was destiny funny little way of saying “fuck you, now you live with your mistakes and without your loved ones forever since you chose a mortal instead of your true purpose.”

and dude, by the time they are making camp again, merlin is silently seething about his magic/world and how arthur will hate him so why does it even matter anymore. and shit gets bad.. like real bad and, maybe, someone attacks them and merlin just BAMFs everything because he is just so fucking tired already and his magic reacted to his unstable emotions—and well, he would truly rather die with arthur knowing everything anyways. but then that thought would stop him...because no matter what arthur’s puts him through—fire, stabbing, beheading, suffocation—he will survive and he will be forced to witness the look on arthur’s face when he figures out merlin was betraying him the entire time (which could be another way destiny cursed him...by having no choice but to face the one person he picked over the entirety of albion who now hates you for what you represent to the world)

so, would this end hopeful? who knows omg i could possibly end this either way—but i do like a good hopeful ending tbh.

dear lord i hope this was coherent. my fingers went flying akskakakak

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

[panharmonium]

okay.  

i realize this might be a kind of a weird thing for me to devote time to when i’m one episode from the end but honestly?  i just have to.  i have to.  i have a longer piece of meta in this vein that i’ll deal with some other time when i’m less focused on the end of season 5, but given the content of the last couple episodes i just - cannot restrain myself.  the stunning level of deliberate, unnecessary cruelty i witnessed in that one moment yesterday (guess i was WRONG omg i STILL can’t believe i heard that with my own two ears...i probably have the lowest expectations of arthur pendragon out of anybody in this fandom but even i was shocked) - it tipped me right over the edge.  it threw me for an entire loop.  

so, what i have to do right now is take a second to acknowledge the one character who a) predicted this bullshit a long time ago, and b) could have been relied upon to react to it appropriately, that is to say by punching arthur pendragon in the mouth.

fig. A: my Son, ‘I Would Sell Arthur Pendragon to Satan for One Corn Chip’ 

i love him.  

i know we only saw him once.  i don’t care.  he’s the only non-villain across five entire seasons of this show who ever told arthur pendragon to get fucked, and that makes him an absolute hero.

this kid snuck up on me and became my most beloved minor character.  when i first met him, i liked him a normal amount, but i wasn’t as deeply invested in him as i am now.  it wasn’t until i got a little further along in the show and started to see how truly painful merlin’s situation becomes without a friend who knows him that i started thinking about him again, and realized how much i actually appreciated him.

so.  will.

will occupies a...fairly unique position in merlin’s circle.  all of merlin’s other friends eventually become knights, or become queen, and they all hop aboard the arthur pendragon train as they get deeper entwined in camelot’s renaissance.  even gwaine, who is a little iffy about arthur in the very beginning, becomes as loyal a knight as camelot has ever seen, and he’s just as invested in camelot’s flourishing as anyone.  and i don’t say this to throw shade at him, or at lancelot, or anybody; those two in particular have absolutely always been true friends to merlin, regardless of the vows they took to camelot.  but there is just something to be said for like - merlin does not have a single person in his life right now who cares about him without also being beholden to arthur.  gwen and gaius and all of the knights are sworn to serve and protect the king.  they are all fully aboard the arthur pendragon train, and on board with merlin’s mission to aid arthur and keep him safe.  gwen, gwaine, gaius, lancelot - even merlin’s own mother is on that train, when she tells merlin he has to go back to camelot at the end of 1.10, saying “you belong at arthur’s side.  i’ve seen how much he needs you.”  

these people would not argue with merlin over the merits of sacrificing things for arthur, because they, too, would do anything for their king.  they wouldn’t necessarily challenge merlin on statements like “his life is worth a hundred of mine,” because they understand what merlin means.  they’re on that same page.  

and that’s nice and all, but given recent events (and forthcoming events, i suspect) i suppose i just am feeling.  a little tired of that.  

i’m tired of the arthur pendragon train.  i want to get off.  i want MERLIN to get off.  and the only other person in the world who ever believed that merlin deserved to get off the arthur pendragon train was will.

all the most recent episodes i’m watching are highlighting for me once again how little merlin settles for in his life.  he can’t be known.  he can’t be seen.  he can’t be accepted.  he can’t be listened to.  he can’t be believed.  he can’t be respected.  he can’t be safe.  he can’t be loved.  he can’t say ‘i am sorry that i can’t go with you to this place’ (for the first time in HOW many years?) without receiving a deliberately nasty, cutting slap across the face.

and we try to rationalize this away; we try to look at the good parts (and yes, there are good parts, of course there are good parts; of course arthur and merlin care about each other) but the ultimate truth is that arthur isn’t merlin’s real friend, not yet.  he thinks he is.  but he isn’t.  a real friend isn’t someone who might kill you if they knew who you were.  a real friend isn’t someone who makes you feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not.  

you cannot be loved if you aren’t safe. 

the only person who ever acknowledges this dynamic is will.  will sees the parts of arthur that merlin tries not to look at, and will loves merlin enough to say ‘this situation you are in is messed up.’  he’s the only one, across five seasons of this show, who ever comes right out and says that merlin is fooling himself when it comes to this ‘friendship.’  merlin might have other people who care about him, later, but all of them are as wrapped up in arthur’s well-being as merlin is.  they don’t tell merlin he deserves better.  they don’t tell merlin ‘this is shitty.  this is a shitty situation you’re settling for.  you deserve more than this.’

five seasons, and will is the only person who ever says this.  merlin’s own mother won’t tell him this.

i’ve been thinking about will kind of a lot as i watch these episodes.  

i think...i think will would lose his mind if he could see merlin at the end of this show.  at ANY point in this show, practically.  he would be so devastatingly angry.  if he ever heard “his life is worth a hundred of mine” come out of merlin’s mouth - i mean.  he’d kill somebody.  he'd thump merlin upside the head and then go kill somebody.

will was only ever in this for merlin.  he didn’t save arthur’s life because he’d started to like the guy; he did it because that’s just who he is.  he saw someone about to get shot and his first instinct was to get in the way.  he’s not riding the arthur pendragon train, and he’s certainly not riding the camelot train, but he still makes sure merlin can go safely back to the citadel, because for some unfathomable reason, merlin seems to feel that it’s important.

because - and this is so important here - will doesn’t even know anything about merlin’s ‘destiny.’  they didn’t have time to talk about dragons or destinies or any of that.  all will knows is that it’s important to merlin, for whatever reason, and that’s enough to make it important to will.  even though he doesn’t understand it.  even though he doesn’t agree with it.  even though he personally thinks arthur’s a loser.  he does what he does so that merlin can have what he wants, so that merlin can be safe and happy in the city of his choice.

SAFE and HAPPY.  and merlin isn’t either of those things.  merlin has never been less safe than he is now.  and merlin hasn’t been happy for a very long time.

will would be rolling over in his grave if he could see merlin now.  he would have fought against the sort of...slow self-immolation we see merlin surrendering himself to here every step of the way.  will told a prince to fuck off in front of the entire population of ealdor; he wouldn’t have any qualms about telling ‘destiny’ to get stuffed, either.  and i find myself missing that single-minded devotion, that uncompromising affirmation of merlin’s intrinsic worth, as opposed to merlin’s importance as a prophesied figure out of myth, as the skies darken over merlin’s head and i see him getting ready to (i think) do something that would send will into an absolute rage.  

none of merlin’s friends or family have ever wanted him to suffer, but will was the only one who saw where this was going, a long, long time ago.  he knew from the beginning that it wasn’t right.  and like...people can complain about him refusing to jump on board the arthur+merlin ship all they want, but the reason he doesn’t get on that boat is because he’s always been captain and sole passenger of the HMS Merlin, and he is the only one who has ever understood that these two boats, with the way the world works right now, just can’t sail together.  so much would have to change first.

so like...i miss this kid.  i really do.  and i think merlin misses him, too, but not in a way that he can afford to let himself think about.  how can a person in merlin’s position afford to remember someone who always thought that merlin’s happiness and safety were more important than anything, when merlin has, by necessity, spent all these years forcing himself to finally accept that his own happiness and safety will always have to be his last priority?  how can he handle being reminded of a time when someone unconditionally believed that merlin deserved to live in this world and be happy, not because of what merlin could do or what great purpose he would serve, but simply because he is.  just because he exists.  because he’s enough as he is.  he matters just as he is.  he deserves to be safe and happy just because he is, not because of what he can do for his majesty the prince.

i don’t think someone in merlin’s position can afford to think like that, especially now.  i think it’s like - when you’re overwhelmed or stressed or upset and you’re holding it together but then somebody does one simple nice thing for you or gives you a hug and that’s when you lose it and start bawling - it feels like that.  i don’t think merlin could handle being gentled in that way.  i think it would be similar to when gwaine tells him “not arthur” - that inability to conceive of somebody who only cares about him, who puts him first.  i think if merlin allowed himself to remember that there was in fact a time in his life when he was someone’s first priority, if he remembered what that felt like - he would crack right down the middle.  

i think if someone were to really remind him of what he deserves from this life, to remind him of what he used to hope he would one day have, he would never be able to do what he thinks he needs to do.

anyway.  

the point of all this is just that as i enter the very end of this show and see merlin still - still - being deliberately gutted by someone who is supposed to love him, someone for whom merlin has been totally willing to give up his life a hundred times over, despite never being recognized and never being accepted and never being free - it is making me appreciate even more keenly the very few people in merlin’s life who chose not to treat him that way.  the very, very few people who knew him and loved him just the way he was.  and in particular it makes me appreciate will, who never had eyes for anybody but merlin, and who, uniquely among merlin’s friends, could not care less about arthur pendragon if you paid him.

after the last episode, i’m just really feeling his energy.  

[sitruunavohveli]

So I’ve been thinking about this for a few days and I’m just going to say it now. I’ve not done any media studies in my life, I studied environmental sciences ffs, so do not expect any sources or scientific analysis. This is just me being so fucking done and annoyed with everything after years of being a fan of things and always been low key ridiculed about my fandom interests by creators and even some other fans and ranting about it.

I’m so fucking done with heteronormativity and queerbaiting. I’m so fucking done with “will they, won’t they” relationships ALWAYS ending with “will ofc, duh” if the couple is a man and a woman and with “nah, don’t be ridiculous” or “wellllll, it could be INTERPRETED that way but… oops, they died anyway so it doesn’t MATTER, does it?” with queer couples. I’m so old I’ve seen this happen many, many, MANY times.

The thing is. I read comments on facebook and twitter where some fans still insisted that Cas saying “I love you” to Dean meant like BROTHERS and “stop bringing that gay shit into everything” and those comments weren’t RARE. Like. If the same scene, THE EXACTLY SAME SCENE, happened between a male character and a female character there would be NO PEOPLE saying it’s “sibling love”. There would be no people saying it’s not romantic AND sexual.

(I mean. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but it clearly is romantic. I’d need to write its own post about asexual/graysexual/demisexual erasure and lack of representation in media, because fuck that as well. But this is not that post.)

This shit is NOT NEW either. I grew up with Harry Potter like so many did. (Fuck JKR btw. Despite the author I’m still going to use HP as an example, because that’s easy for me.) The problem is that people are so much more comfortable with straight relationships, straight being the norm, assumed straightness. When you look at a random list of HP fanfiction relationships I swear that the queer ones seem “ridiculous” and “far-fetched” to most of the heteronormative fanbase. Harry/Hermione is a completely normal thing to ship and “they should have ended up together!” is not a controversial take. Even Harry/Luna seems reasonable. But let’s point out how Ron was “the one he’ll surely miss” or Harry running after Draco for all of the sixth year (“rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy”), or that Remus and Sirius lived and gave Christmas gifts together, and I can almost hear everyone sighing “it doesn’t mean LIKE THAT, STOP MAKING EVERYTHING GAY”.

I’m not just tired of the queerbaiting and never seeing any same-sex relationships between main characters as plausible UNLESS THE WHOLE THING IS ABOUT SEXUALITY. (And yeah, there are SIDE CHARACTERS that are awesome and queer and just living their life, but making a main character queer while they’re just living their life and fighting bad guys and falling in love? Yeah no. Why would we ever want to have that! Why would we ever want to give the idea that queer people are JUST PEOPLE LIVING THEIR LIFE AND NOT JUST SIDE CHARACTERS?) I’m also just as fucking tired of ALWAYS reading every friendship between a man and a woman as a romantic one despite it being completely platonic. JUST TREAT THE RELATIONSHIPS THE SAME. STOP READING THEM DIFFERENTLY JUST BASED ON WHAT YOU ASSUME IS IN THEIR PANTS.

Back to HP. Even the “Dumbledore was gay all along” thing was shitty, because it would have been SO FUCKING EASY to just make Albus/Gellert canon IN THE BOOKS. Just ONE hint from Rita Skeeter on one page about the relationship or possible love/lust between them would have been enough. The MORE shitty thing however was when they asked about canon Albus/Gellert being possibly a thing in the Fantastic Beasts movies and TPTB were like “uhhhh, we hadn’t planned on it…”

Then there was Merlin. Five seasons of destiny and being two sides of the same coin and almost a love confession… until Arthur dies. And Merlin waits him for 1500+ years. (Btw when Rory did the same for Amy in Doctor Who, it was explicitly romantic.) Then there was Sherlock. Yeah, need I say more?

And now Dean/Cas. With just a few additional lines it would have been fine. It would have been the greatest slow burn love story ever. (I mean… it still is for those who see it. Just not explicitly for everyone. For many, many fans it’s still “take that gay fanfic shit away, THEY’RE LIKE BROTHERS”.) My lovely bisexual Dean Winchester would have been the bi icon he deserves to be. The growth of a man who for all of his life had to pretend to only be tough and hyper masculine just to SURVIVE and who hid all the femininity and weakness and insecurity and sadness and love under the tough-ass shell, who kicks fucking ass and finds men AND women* attractive. All the jokes about Dr Sexy and Dean’s cowboy thing and gay thing WOULD CANONICALLY NOT HAVE BEEN JOKES.

(*Sorry, non-binary friends. Your representation in media is even more awful and should also be written into a completely different post.)

So I’m tired. And annoyed. And so so so done.

Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck all the creators and TPTB for gaslighting us. Fuck them all for caring more about what conservative white straight cis males possibly think than what their actual fanbase thinks. Fuck them all for making us believe that true representation is possible. Fuck them all for not ever giving us the queer happy ending we deserve.