#fit sexy vegan

[emmysclubhouse]

“fat” is not a derogatory term. there are far worse things to be in this world than fat.

[kakau-au]

I have a crush so strong on a woman. I fantasize about her. Sexually

I’ve never done that before about a stranger.

I hear her voice andI want to submit to her completely.

She’s younger than me.

She’s a Scorpio.

She’s beautiful and handsome.

Part Asian part Black.

Strong and good with her hands.

Thinking about her makes me want to be single, filthy rich and on my way to see her right now

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.

This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.

Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.

But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.

Here’s who was on the dating roster:

• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.

• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.

• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.

And finally,

• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.

So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.

Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.

She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.

“Do you want it?”

“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”

But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.

So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.

I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.

I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!

What about the table?!

“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”

Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.

There on my doorstep. The table.

It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.

“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.

“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”

“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”

“Make me an offer.”

I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.

This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.

“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.

I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”

They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.

But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.

“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.

With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.

It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.

So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.

I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!

Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”

I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.

For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.

Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.

It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”

“Did you like it?”

“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”

My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.

Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.

“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”

“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.

So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.

[kissitbttr]

miguel putting up with his girl’s princess attitude

-

“miguel!” you call out from the bathroom as your fingers delicately fix the straps of your bodycon dress. “can you come here for a minute?”

miguel sighs, this is the third time you keep calling him knowing how busy he is at the moment. work has gotten the best of him, and if reinventing new techs back to back isn’t enough to drain him, he has to keep up with your needs daily.

does he has the courage to say no to you, though? nope. as much as he hates to admit it because it’s embarrassing, he’s scared of you. if the spider society think that Miguel is too frightening then they have not seen you get mad or being a brat.

“coming, baby!” he walks out of his office while taking off his glasses, rolling the sleeves of his henley shirt to his elbows.

the bathroom door is left wide open, immediately seeing you standing before the mirror in a long and tight fitting grey dress that falls just around your ankles. and just like that, his annoyance completely washed off,

he takes a good look at you. eyes slowly observing every single detail of your face and down to your body. the way that dress hugs your curves and accentuate your best assets should be a crime,

God, you’re such a perfection.

“shut your mouth before you catch flies, babe” you jokingly say as your fiancee stares at you with his jaw slightly agape. “mind helping me?”

Miguel clears his throat after, slightly smirking as he shrug his shoulders. he leans against the door way with his arms crossed, eyes never leaving yours.

“you look absolutely divine, mi amor.” he comments, taking his lower lip between his teeth. “is that new?” he points at the dress,

rolling your eyes playfully, you try to keep your composure still. even after three years of dating—now engaged— he still manages to make your heart skips and create butterflies in the pit of your stomach,

“I know” you reply in confidence, winking at him which he chuckles in return. “and yes it is! it’s SKIMS! got it yesterday, does it look good on me?”

he frowns, tilting his head to the side. “baby, you already know the answer to that come on now… you make anything look sexy.” he strides closer to you as he stands from behind you, “now, què necesitas?” he questions, resting his hands on his hips

you find it attractive how he towers over you, and it’s one thing that you love about him. it’s not that you’re petite or anything. but compared to how tall and big he is, you’re definitely tiny.

“straighten my hair for me please? I can’t reach it” you pout at him through the mirror, “just this part right here” fingers move to the back to touch part of your hair,

“ay dios mio, woman… you’re lucky i love you” he teases before grabbing the iron from the sink. “going out with the girls, mami? i assume lunch?” he asks as he starts parting your hair with one hand,

your head shakes, straightening the dress. “no, I’m doing cake testing today and wedding dresses … Darla is bringing three more flavors.”

he stops what he’s doing, giving you a confused look. “alone? cariño why didn’t you tell me? you know I’d come with you” he feels a bit disappointed and now guilty that he’s busying himself with work and instead you’re left dealing with your wedding, alone.

his hand rests on your shoulder and you move yours on top of him. “hey, it’s okay, Miggy… you’ve been so stressed lately i do not want to put more pressure… it was last minute anyway, she texted me this morning.”

“you’re my girl, i would never be too busy for you.” he says almost too fast,

giving him a sincere smile, you nod your head. “yes… i know, baby. trust me it’s okay…plus it’s bad luck for the groom to see his bride in a wedding dress” you giggle a bit. “we can go over the seating arrangements again together, yeah? i promise” you plant a soft kiss on his finger,

Miguel exhales a sigh, still feeling tiny bit upset that he won’t be there to keep you company. “okay, fine… tell Darla that keep vegan options open for the cakes.”

“noted, honey.” you tell him as he continues to straighten your hair, “is everything okay with work?”

he nods, eyes too fixated on your long hair, not wanting to mess up a single strand. “just running over a few reports and fixing few minor defects on the techs and my suit…the last guy did quite a number on me.”

“hmm i love it when you speak science to me” you comment, watching him laugh a bit at your flirty remark. “but you still need to be careful. i do not want to see my future husband all bruised up when i walk down that aisle or else I’ll leave your ass.” your tone comes off demanding and firm, but it’s only because you care.

“yes ma’am” he replies, setting down the hot object down on the sink before slowly running his fingers through your hair. “there you go, baby” he moves your hair to the front, kissing your cheek and seeing you smile just makes him happy. knowing he’s done a great job.

turning around to face him, you stand on your toes to kiss his lips. “thank you, miggy… I’ll see you later, okay? we can go grab dinner outside and then movie night at 9?”

his heart warms at that and lips stretches into a large grin. “sounds like a plan.” then he lightly slaps your ass as you walk out of the door,

“let me know if there’s going to be bunch of assholes staring at you today, I’ll hunt them down and fucking kill them on the spot.” he mentions as if it’s nothing

and they say romance is dead.

-

cake testing with miggy!

[perfecthealthtipsdaily]

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[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Lingerie Essentials Every Women Should Own

Simple everyday bra and underwear sets in black and nude that match your skin tone: Think of items like a lined bra and seamless thong/bikini panty set. My favorites are the SKIMS Fits Everybody Push-Up Bra paired with the matching Fits Everybody Thong and the Natori Feathers bra paired with the Natori French Cut Briefs.

Sexy yet practical bra and underwear sets: Sexier options you can still wear every day and look good under your clothes. Consider an all-lace or animal print bra with coordinating all-lace or sheer underwear – love the bra options from Chantelle, Natori, Cosabella, and Simone Perele (these are pricey, so I look for them on sale) paired with Natori or Cosabella underwear. My favorite styles are the Natori Push-Up bras (I'm super flat-chested, so I need it for my clothes to fit properly, lol – otherwise the Natori Flora Contour Underwire Bra is stunning) with the Cosabella Never Say Never Comfie Thong & Natori Bliss Allure Lace Full Brief.

Ultra-sexy bra and underwear sets: Less so for clothes, more for yourself or for show. I love Fleur Du Mal for these bra/underwear lingerie sets.

Strapless bra: Natori Feather Strapless Bra. Thank me later!!

Lace bralette: Something comfortable that still feels a bit sexy. I love the options from Journelle, Cosabella, and Natori.

Satin/silk robe: To wear after the shower or around the house. Lilysilk, Victoria's Secret, Cosabella, and Fleur Du Mal have great options.

A quality pair of black tights: I love HUE and Wolford! The control top ones always feel the best for me, personally.

Sheer black thigh-highs with lace-stay-up detailing: Natori Feather range ftw yet again!

Sheer black tights with or without back seam detailing: Hue and Wolford, always!

Simple bodysuit/shapewear bodysuit: The SKIMS ones are great.

Elevated shapewear bodysuit (in a fabric like satin, lace, or vegan leather): I love the Spanx Shaping Satin Thong Bodysuit and the Commando Faux Leather bodysuit – perfect to wear with a pair of jeans and a blazer.

High-waisted sculpting underwear: SKIMS Seamless Sculpt is my favorite (runs on the smaller side!)

Satin slip dress: Can be worn at home or with a blazer/leather jacket for a night out.

Fully lace or lace trim slip dress: If wearing it alone could run someone's life, you're doing it right. Love the one from Cosabella. If you want to wear it out, try a vegan leather bralette, an opaque black brief, and lace or sheer black tights for a "naked" dress look or black pants/denim for a night-out look. Otherwise, save this one to feel sexy while relaxing at home or to wow a partner any night of the week. If you want some ultra-glamorous options, I suggest checking out Oséree but their items are $$$$ as a fair warning.

Satin/silk cami & shorts or pants set: For some equally comfortable and sexy loungewear or pajama options. I love styles with lace trim for that added feminine touch.

[krscblw]

ghoul perfume associations!

i am very into ghost. and i am also very into indie perfumes! so i decided to combine the two and make a list of my scent associations for each of the ghouls, as well as a few indie fragrances that fit them (in my opinion! if y'all have other thoughts i would LOVE to hear them /gen)

i also included all of the perfumes i found that had the same names as the ghouls, even if i didn't think the scent profile worked, and bonus atmospherics that i think are more naturally ghoul-ish and worked well for the various elements!

warning: this is an obscenely long post. i have too many thoughts.

another warning: because this post is so long, some of the text might get cut off on mobile. it should be okay on desktop if that happens (i don't know how to fix it, sorry)

Aeon

Notes: chocolate, linen, lavender. Aeon smells very gentle and pleasant, but not necessarily sweet. He smells like things that he himself finds comfort in.

Perfumes:

Chocolatine -- Fyrinnae

“Also known as Pain au Chocolat, these flaky croissant-like pastries are filled with pieces of dark or semi-sweet chocolate. This is not a very sweet fragrance.”

TELEGRAMA – Imaginary Authors  

talc, lavender absolute, black pepper, teak, amyris, vanilla powder, fresh linens

Bonus:

Phantom -- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab 

Aether

Notes: bourbon, amber, vanilla. Aether smells sophisticated, but with a warm, golden edge. He smells like comfort, like unconditional love- but also a little bit like sex.

Perfumes:

Quintessence of Debauchery -- Alkemia Perfumes

“A distillation of raw, bawdy sexiness without regard for gender - Bourbon vanilla, tonka, dark florals, peach brandy, coriander, mock orange, spiced pumpkin, fresh ginger root, rock rose, long leaf tobacco, black opium infused amber, patchouli, oakmoss, and cruelty-free (vegan) castoreum.”

Morosexual -- Treading Water Perfume  

“Morosexual - The sexual attraction to stupid people. Treat yourself and read your partner at the same time with a scent that is as classy as it is stupid. The earthy combo of vanilla, fresh tobacco and star anise combine with spicy nutmeg to create a warm soft blanket to dull the mind.”

tobacco, vanilla, patchouli, jasmine, star anise, nutmeg

Alpha

Notes: leather, smoke, gunpowder. Alpha smells.. off-putting, to most people. He has an intense personality, and it's reflected in his scent.

Perfumes:

Industrial Sabotage -- Alkemia Perfumes

“A cataclysmic wreckage of burnt wires; twisted melted steel; shattered machinery, and gunpowder.”

Night Shift -- PULP Fragrance  

“Black frankincense, engine grease from a long late shift, smoke, ash, blackened wood, and a hint of leather.”

Cirrus

Notes: dark fruits, musk. Cirrus smells sophisticated in a dark, sensual way. She smells.. hypnotic, almost. She smells like you want her, but she doesn't even know you exist.

Perfumes:

Venus Black -- Possets 

“A grand and very very sensual scent. Black in the most sophisticated way. Considered one of the colors, its working name was Mars' Black but it is so wonderfully feminine that there is no way that it could be named after the god of war, it should be named after the goddess of love. The Blackest musk flirts with a float of black pepper, a shot of dark sweet pear, and the smallest amount of sage and non-stinky narcissus for tingle. One not to be missed. Dry, musky, spicy.”

(i have this one. it's VERY attractive (i had to stop wearing it because i was confusing myself lmao) and now that i associate it with cirrus. i might have a problem)

Salomé -- Alkemia Perfumes 

“An overture of not so innocent magnolia underscored with a sly caress of Queen of the Night, a fulsomeness of nubile black grapes and plums, skin musk bathed in spilled cognac, and ruthless twist of bitter orange, blended with an ancient Arabian love philtre of crushed vanilla and tonka bean, sandalwood, vetiver, cedar, and red oud.”

Bonus: 

Cirrus -- Osmofolia 

Cumulus

Notes: lilac, magnolia, jasmine, sugar. Cumulus smells sweet and cloying. You smell her once and the scent haunts you all day like the most enchanting ghost.

Perfumes:

Alabama -- Possets

“Floral perfume lovers rejoice! This one is the essence of a hot sticky Southern night at the height of passion with the one you love. What a treat! Alabama weaves pink fizzy mimosa, thick white magnolia, canebrake jasmine, Mexican tuberose, and Martinique gardenia. The effect is eternally woman, unabashedly sexy, and in command. These are all knit together with precious Sacred Frankincense to concoct a bombshell of a fragrance, deep white floral with deep incense leanings. A hypnotic fragrance. So very sweet, so very profound. Feminine, floral, devastating.”

Sweet Mother -- Little And Grim  

“‘Sweet mother, I cannot weave --/ slender Aphrodite has overcome me/ with longing for a girl.’ -Sappho. Notes of lush moss, blooming lilac, French lavender, rose, jasmine, mandarin and lemon zest, warm musk, and lily of the valley.”

Bonus:

Cumulus -- Osmofolia 

Skiing On Europa -- Fyrinnae 

“The atmosphere of a distant moon, not as habitable for mammals as Earth, the thin air reminiscent of high mountain elevations before snowfall. Cold, and ozonic like petrichor.”

Dewdrop

Notes: berries, smoke, wood. Dew smells like resinous woodsmoke, with an unexpected berry undertone. (Just like his personality: brash outside, sweet inside.)

Perfumes:

Ignis -- PULP Fragrance

“Raspberries, fresh ginger, smoky aloeswood, pale blond tobacco leaves & fiery red musk.”

A CITY ON FIRE – Imaginary Authors

“The refined smoke accord makes this an austere and luxurious scent for evenings on the town, whether with a special someone or alone and looking for trouble.”

cade oil, spikenard, cardamom, clearwood, dark berries, labdanum, burnt match

Bonus: 

The Center of the Universe -- Alkemia Perfumes   

“The center of our universe is raspberries and rum? In a vast dust cloud at the center of the Milky Way there is an abundance of ethyl formate, a simple aliphatic ester found in the smell of rum and raspberries. To these elements, we've added notes from astronauts' descriptions of the smell of their suits when they return from space walks - freshly welded metal, gun powder, seared steak in an iron pan, burnt almond cookies, charcoal, and ozone.”

Ifrit

Notes: black tea, incense. Ifrit smells heavy and dark in a way that makes you want more. Very mysterious, even though his personality doesn't really match.

Perfumes:

Black Tea -- Possets 

“The most dark and the most tannic of teas. Somehow that puckery quality becomes addictive. Just right for a seductive night deep in July or August where humidity makes itself into a sexy accessory. Not subtle but very alluring. Pure and beautiful, incense floats over it all and the effect is so much like the vapor lines of a mirage. Tea-like but not sweet.”

(this is one of my favorite fragrances EVER, i wear it like every day)

O, UNKNOWN! – Imaginary Authors 

“At the risk of sounding bleak, this night could be your last. Splash on O, Unknown! and plunge forth into prosperity and joy. Repeat as often as you are able.”

black tea, lapsang souchong tincture, orris butter, kyoto moss, musk balsam, sandalwood

Bonus:

The Ifrit -- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab 

Mist

Notes: water, herbs. Mist smells aquatic and green, like spring rain or a pond full of plants. There's an icy, aloof edge to her scent.

Perfumes:

Taste of Rain -- Alkemia Perfumes 

“A primordially vernal chypre consecrated by silver rain, green ivy, holy basil, lilacs, moss, and wisteria.”

Diaphanous Dress -- Possets 

“If the lovely Primavera would wear a gown, she might be dressed in a garment made of snow crystals and flowers. Even into April, spring can get cold even while the flowers we all love press upward. Spring displays irony in her variability. Deepest and richest Mexican vanilla troupes bravely with the chill aquatic of snow falling in heavy doses and melting almost on contact. A tuft of chlorophyll is in the background and a hint of the flowers it all overtakes for just a while. This is an enchanting fragrance, a hypnotic springtime blend which is more about the atmosphere than the real flowers themselves.”

Bonus: 

Ammil -- Alkemia Perfumes 

“An olfactory journey that morphs like melting ice... starting cold and aloof with distinct elements of wet snow and ice then gradually unfolding to reveal an indescribably unique velvety skin warmth.”

Mountain

Notes: vetiver, greenery, earth, mushrooms. Mountain smells very green and earthy, almost like he was recently underground, or maybe like he spent all day tending to a fragrant garden (he did).

Perfumes:

Hedale Wood -- Little And Grim

“This fragrance is dark and a bit mysterious, while staying green enough to be worn without smelling too villainous.”

vetiver, cedar trees, bergamot, dense foliage, coriander, musk, sandalwood, frankincense, a touch of lavender, amber

Heirloom Tomato Leaf -- Fyrinnae

“Rows of tomato plants on a humid day, their unmistakable heavy green fragrance filling the air and clinging to your hands as you touch the leaves. This is not a solitary note perfume, but includes significant notes of damp soil and humid air.”

Bonus:

Beneath The Forest -- Fyrinnae  

“Beneath the trees, where scant sunlight ever reaches and few green plants grow, mushrooms (and decay) flourish in the ever-damp soil, surrounded by darkness. Step carefully, there could be traps.”

Nimbus*

Notes: peach, rose, wood. Nimbus smells sweet and slightly earthy, with an overwhelming ripe peach heart and a floral edge. Very pretty, very cheerful, but not childish.

Perfumes:

South Star -- PULP Fragrance 

“Sweet creamy peach, vanilla beans, liatrix, & a woody-ambrette accord, all topped off with a hint of cinnamon.”

Someone Tell Lady Luck -- Little And Grim 

lemongrass, bright fresh ginger, verbena, sweet peaches, bamboo, and clean rain on city streets

Bonus: 

Aurora -- Alkemia Perfumes 

Armenian Rose -- Fyrinnae 

“The fragrance of dark red rose petals and sweeter pink roses with the earthy scent of native lilies.”

*i headcanon nimbus as a earth/air multi

Omega

Notes: wood, amber, tobacco. Omega smells warm, but not quite comforting. He smells like he knows more than you (he does) and like he's a little bit disappointed in you (he might be). He smells like he COULD be comforting, if you managed to earn his approval.

Perfumes:

Bibliotheca -- Alkemia Perfumes

“A vintage elegance of leatherbound books, plush club chairs, vintage vinyl records, polished mahogany tables, fountain pen ink, black tea, dark plum brandy, vetiver, rosewood, artemesia, white carnation, lavender water, citron, tweedy woolens, and oakmoss.”

(i have this one! it's surprisingly woody)

Bronze and Blaze -- Alkemia Perfumes

“Autumnal bronze amber aged with cognac barrel staves, red oak leaves, Perique pipe tobacco, raw wool, ripe pumpkin, opoponax (sweet myrrh), and soft suede gloves warmed by a creamy steamy cup of Bourbon vanilla coffee.”

Rain

Notes: seawater, ozone. Rain smells like the ocean, or more accurately, like a siren that wants to lure you out to sea and kill you. Wet, a little bit green, sweet and salty.

Perfumes:

Mermaids in the Basement -- Alkemia Perfumes

“A siren song of seawater soaked linen, aquatic incense, white ginger, pomelo, limoncello, dry moss, clary sage, cactus flower, prickly pear, loquat, fir resin, cedar needles, mesquite pods, Hinoki wood, Guaiac wood, and Elemi resin.”

EVERY STORM A SERENADE – Imaginary Authors 

danish spruce, eucalyptus, vetiver, calone, ambergris, baltic sea mist

Bonus:

Black Squall -- Fyrinnae 

“Open waters of the deepest blue, eerily calm before the looming arcus cloud in the distance bears down, revealing the wrath of the storm behind it. There was little left to do now but watch and wait. Cold and clean-smelling seawater, ozonic air, now and then a little olive oil from the lamps.”

Sunshine/Stratus**

Notes: strawberries, citrus, vanilla, spices. Sunny smells like summer. She smells like ripe fruit, sweet cold drinks, and sun, with a little bit of unexpected spice.

Perfumes:

Strawberry Lemonade -- PULP Fragrance 

“Fresh strawberries, lemonade, and a bowl of strawberry-vanilla ice cream.”

Lola -- Alkemia Perfumes 

“A dramatic splash of Coca-cola trailed by an adoration of blood orange, pink peppercorns, caviar lime, orange blossom, tonka, spicy nutmeg dancing sinuously across a base of warm Brazilian cherrywood.”

Bonus:

Stratus -- Osmofolia 

Prairie 66 -- Alkemia Perfumes 

“The smell of an old cement-paved road in the desert just before dawn when the cement is cold and almost, but not quite damp. Flowering desert sage, aldehydes, grapefruit, Linden blossoms, bergamot, saffron, gray amber, yucca, yuzu, and cool concrete. ”

**i headcanon sunny as a fire/air multi

Swiss***

Notes: smoke, musk, patchouli. Swiss smells dark but welcoming, unpredictable but attractive. He smells the way velvet feels: sweet, smoky, decadent.

Perfumes:

Smoke & Mirrors -- Alkemia Perfumes

“An elusive, smokey blend of burning wood, Madagascar Vanilla, and Tonka. We find this one to be elementally simple, but unusually mercurial and highly responsive to different skin chemistries… the vanilla and the smoke dance with each other almost continuously… sometimes the foreground is smoky, then sweet, then returns with sweetly smoky, then smoky.”

Allen Ginsberg - Howl -- Possets  

“Possets' interpretation of Howl is unabashedly sexy, driven mad by welling passions. Black, red and amber musks wrestle furiously with sandalwood and opium tar resin. There is nothing light or gentle about this scent. A burning incense backs it up, black patchouli stands in the forefront. Dark, musky, resinous. Tremendously savage, dark and sweet like molasses rather than sugar. ...and yet, there is something innocent about it all.”

(i have howl and it's SO good and so perfect for swiss)

***i headcanon swiss as a fire/water multi

Zephyr

Notes: dust, ozone. Zephyr smells like the air where something once was, or maybe where something is and has been too long. Dusty, faintly sweet, slightly melancholic.

Perfumes:

Dustsceawung -- Alkemia Perfumes

“The scent of forbidden explorations and an olfactory meditation on dust... attic air, the inside of old trunks, abandoned haylofts, library stacks, and abandoned buildings. Dustsceawung is the contemplation of dust, worldly desires, and the ephemerality of all things... raspings that were once a tree, ruins that were once cities, bones that were once lovers. Dust is always the ultimate destination on our journey.”

 Hauntology -- PULP Fragrance 

“Ozone, olibanum, the air in a closed up kitchen cupboard that might once have held raisins and dried apricots, ambergris, burled briarwood, & the lost futures of a home abandoned.”

Bonus:

Zephyr -- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

if you made it to the end of this i admire your dedication. and i would love to hear what you think!

[terrence-silver]

Would old man Terry still smoke his signature Cuban cigars?

---

Why'd he stop?

Because it went out of fashion.

(See the above ads. Can you imagine anything similar today?)

In the 70's and the 80's, a Cuban cigar (or just a cigarette in general) would've been a sign of decadence and masculine power; it is what every Senator in his cabinet during his spare, private time alongside every coked out, upstart Yuppie on Wallstreet, every would-be Gangster Mafioso, every Banana Republic dictator and of course, Terry Silver, would smoke. Politicians, would perhaps, secretly indulge the vice, seeing as how Cuban cigars couldn't even be imported into the US up until a certain time, making them even more of exclusive of a habit. Just look at old advertisements. Men smoking in a manly fashion while, optionally, a nearby woman swoons and looks on. It's fun! It's sexy! It makes the ladies drop their panties, you men! You would be surprised how many plain, old Americana style scenes with Cowboys smoking I've found while researching a reply to this question. It meant something then that it doesn't mean now. Today, it is almost comically associated with the (quite literally cancerous) evils of Capitalism to the degree that if you asked a literal kid to draw you a corrupt rich man, they'd probably draw Monopoly man with a top hat and a cigar. Heck! Most public places don't even allow indoor smoking and you're relegated to a separate smoking area and still, people will stuck their noses up at you the entire time even so. What I mean to say is --- times changed and so did attitudes. So happens that Terry Silver lived long enough to witness these changes and I think he stopped smoking somewhere in between the fiasco that took place between him and John post tournament loss in 1985 and those thirty something years they weren't close. Long enough for cigars to go from a symbol of power to a symbol of something disgusting people collectively would rather not be around because it stinks and makes you sick. Gives you bad breath. And Cancer. It used to be cool. It used to be badass. Nowadays, it comes with a little message on the bottom of the box that says 'Smoking Kills!'

Terry Silver went through a (temporary) re-brand.

He changed the way cultural sensitives changed, as I keep on repeating.

Turned into the image of the ''acceptable'' type of the model rich man for the new, 21st century was meant to look and act like for a brief spell. Mellow. Clean cut. Vegan. Considerate and practicing 'mindfulness'. Someone very much in favor of attending therapy, seemingly sworn off of his formerly rotten ways, and in fact, completely tucking them away. A champagne Liberal fundraising apps for the poor from his multimillion dollar beach patio mansion. You see what I'm saying? Cigars --- they don't fit into that whole image, in fact, they completely clash with it. So, he discarded them, the same way he discarded many things that would come off as 'problematic' in the current day and age, shedding his skin and becoming a 'different' man to hide in plain sight, being the ultimate chameleon that he is, always adapting to his surroundings.

I do firmly believe he still has a stash of vintage cigars somewhere, in some golden or silver elaborate, decorative box he hasn't touched in actual decades, in some locked drawer or safe, as a keepsake. Perhaps he even lights up in his more mature age, for old time's sake, seeing it as a sign of authority, refusing to go down as some sad, old man once his existential crisis kicks in as the years advance and advance, taking the reigns of control and picking a poison of his own choosing to rot him from the inside, kicking up his legs on a work desk and smiling to himself.

Who knows?

Nobody's ever there to see him do it, just the way he would want it too.

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Some of the things my siblings and I have said over 2024

Fozzy Bear has never lied to me

The clones call it a prison. The empire calls it a gated community

WHY DOES THAT HORSE HAVE WHEELS?!- First glance at a motorcycle

What did we have for dinner? I remember feeling happy.

I'm at the point in my life where I just need to keep a package of fake mustaches in my bag

Killed in action lancing.

That doesn't mean killed in action. He's driving a KIA Lancing.

He can not drink cream (about fish)

You just look at him and go. He might go to church

That's a lot of faith to put on a tiny toaster waffle

I can only slay queen for so long

She taught us how to get bull jucie

Go outside so I can swear at you properly.

I love Jizz. Space jazz. Don't say that out of context

Oh hi police officer, don't arrest me. My necrophials are kicking in. (I'm mean narcolepsy, dang it!)

I wonder if there are any pick me grandma's. Like they saw Anne Frank's diary get published, and so they kept a dairy to become famous at the next war.

I've just about had it with today, and I just left my house.

You know what's wrong with your generations? You spent too much time doing the jump rope paddywack redrover tamagachi.

I thought that's what people didn't do but thought about, like murder

We need more sexy men outfits with fishnets and stuff.

Just need to be 8 and up to summon demons

And that's when I learned there's no such thing as cheese soup

And the wind bag blew them far away from Posidon but still in the ocean, so not that far.

Pothidin takth anotha thoul.

Sometimes, when I look at your life, I think, God saying he wants her home quick

Are you sure? (Me) I checked the cast list 3 times! I saw that they credited Hitler! Of course I'm sure!

I tried to be nice, but nope. I should have threatened you instead.

First, we see an armored truck and explosions, now theres a medieval nobleman on a motorcycle.

I zoned out. I was thinking about eggrolls.

I wonder how well this song banjos

I'm not French! I'm frustrated. (in a French accent)

If one kid gets in my way, I'm not going to stop. I'm going to crunch.

I've been a naughty girl since 6th grade *grrr*

See Sid, this is why vegans tried to eat you.

Then I realized they blew that up, too. How american!

(As we walk back into our hotel after a fire. Sibling salutes the crowd waiting for the elevator) What a great night to sleep on the first floor. Good night, everybody.

Has anyone else seen the absurd amount of onions on the cement.

It's like they made a deal to put a Starbucks every 5 miles DUTCH BROS!!

Please tell me that's a truck full of bananas

There are raccoons out there that will never know the joy of diving into some guys dumpster

Just because my name's Holly doesn't mean I know when Christmas is.

You look like you're communing with God (Me)

I was thinking about aliens (sibling)

That looks like crime.

Why don't any of these guy own any balls@

We need more sexy men out fits

I never go to the aquarium and have the urge to punch fishes, but I go to your wards and have the urge to punch bitches

Soft pockets. Functional fabric.

Hey, I've been turned into a coward. Can I go home?

I wonder what kind of mail the airport gets.

[divine-knight-hand]

“It’s Not Safe Here!”

Chapter 2: Fanning the Flames

Series Masterlist || Michael Masterlist || Full Masterlist || Read on AO3

Content Warnings: Arguing, yelling, derogatory terms, walking in on a sexual scenario

Notes: There's no Michael x reader smut in this chapter, but since there is a sexual scenario in this chapter, I still marked it as smut. You have been warned!

Word Count: 2,743

Dividers by @cafekitsune

I drummed my fingers on my desk as Henry and William sat down in front of me. William looked expressionless, but Henry just looked tired. That’s what waking up early will do to you. Especially after a morning like mine.

And it was true. After waking up early, running for my life from an animatronic bear, and having some sexy quality time with my boyfriend, I was drowsy, to say the least. Nonetheless, I sucked it up (no pun intended) and decided to see through the rest of my shift. Now, I was sitting in my office, about to discuss finances with my two bosses.

The space was small, but I always found it cozy. I was happy to have my own office at all. There was enough space to leave a bit of walking room around my chair, my desk, and the two chairs in front of it, where my bosses were making themselves comfortable. Behind me, a filing cabinet with previous financial records fit almost seamlessly into the corner of the room. I had to dig in there more than a few times to gather the information I needed and summarize it on the papers in front of me.

“Someone’s dressed nicely for the occasion.” William raised a condescending eyebrow at me. He never liked when I dressed even remotely masculine, so I instantly knew that his compliment wasn’t sincere. What a douche.

“I hope that means you have good news for us.” Henry offered me a small smile. At least he tried to be polite during these meetings. Besides, he did have a warm fatherly quality to him. I thought it must have made him more likable. At least, it did to me.

“I just figured I’d clean up a little more today, that’s all.” Also, I don’t have good news for you. So, surprise! I offered a shy smile of my own, but I might have come off looking like I was in pain. I was, but I didn’t need my bosses knowing that.

“Let’s get down to business, then. What do you have for us today, Y/N?” Henry cheerily asked.

I shuffled through my notes and started, “Well, this quarter we brought in almost double the amount of money through entry fees and food costs. That new ‘buy one pizza, get another half-off’ deal we started is bringing in more customers, which seems to be increasing our cash revenue.”

I did a little more rustling through my notes before proceeding, “We remained within the budgets set aside for party favors, plates, and utensils. Our spending on pizza ingredients is fine, but our cheese expenses are steadily increasing and, though we haven’t gone over budget in that area, we should watch out for that. I would suggest adding dairy-free items to the menu to balance that out. This could decrease our cheese usage while expanding our consumers to the vegan crowd.”

“We’ll decide what we should do with our own menu, young lady.” William scowled. I forced back a scowl of my own. “Young lady” was such a demeaning term, especially when it came from him. I wasn’t someone to be looked down on. Not by the likes of my snarky boss. I burned with resentment.

“We’ll take your suggestion into account.” Henry shot a quick glare at William. I really liked Henry. He didn’t treat me like garbage, “Please continue, Y/N.”

I looked at my notes before my eyes dropped to my hands, dreading what was next. It was the one financial update I had attempted to hold off on for as long as I could, but the time for stalling was over. I took a deep breath, steeled my nerves, and looked back up to the men in front of me, sitting up straight to deliver the worst news, “We overspent on mechanical parts and tools, once again.” William’s frown instantly deepened. Here we go again… “That facial recognition project sent us over budget by almost double. At this rate, we’ll have to declare bankruptcy within the decade.” This would suck in any case, but our advanced robotics tech going belly-up in an age where the world wide web and MP3 players were just invented would have been pretty embarrassing…

“Do you hear this, Em?” William scoffed, clearly annoyed.

Henry rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Please, William, if you’re going to refer to me by my last name, finish it.”

“Fine, but only if it’s among other things.” William raised another eyebrow at his own business partner, but rather than being condescending this one was accompanied by a smirk that made it seem almost… flirtatious?

Henry just glared at him, his face displaying a clear scowl behind an embarrassed blush, “Now’s not the time for that.”

I cleared my throat, bringing the attention back to me, “Well, uh, I suppose that’s it, then?” I decided to try to use that awkward distraction to try to bring the meeting to a quick close. I began straightening out my notes to emphasize that I was done with this conversation.

“I don’t think so.” Damn! Of course William was too smart for that cheap trick. He was a jackass, but he was smart enough to pursue robotics as a major part of his career, and he just blew up what I thought would be my ace in the hole.

Henry seemed to sense the growing tension and cautiously held out his hands, “William, wait-“

“Don’t tell me to wait!” William snapped, “And you,” He turned back toward me, fury painting every inch of his face a tomato shade of red, “Who do you think you are? You don’t think I see what you’re doing?”

“My job?” And just like that, my heart dropped into my stomach. That comment just slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t even think about it. William somehow grew redder. I didn’t even think a person could turn this shade of red, but he did.

Well, if I was getting fired today, I might as well have committed to my stance. I took a deep breath and went on, “I’m just saying. This is what you hired me to do. To make budgets for you and suggest ways to help the business.” I tapped my fingers on the table, resting my head in one of my hands, “I don’t remember seeing ‘personal punching bag’ in the description when I applied.” I lean my head forward to emphasize my last sentence, “I’m good with numbers, not assholes like you treating me like shit.”

“You’ve got some mouth on you, girl!” William slammed his hand on my desk and stood up, “You really think you can walk into my establishment-“

“ Our .” Henry sighed.

“Beg for a job from me-“

“ Us .”

“Tell me how to run my own business-“

“ Our own business.” Henry began massaging his temples.

“Blatantly disrespect me, and not face any repercussions for it?!” William finished.

I slowly blinked at him, “…Are you done, yet?” William just responded in a series of incoherent sputtering, giving me the space to continue, “Do you know how tiring it is to deal with your bullshit every three months? Every single meeting, I have to dread doing my own job because you just berate me for doing what I’m supposed to do.” I slowly rose from my desk, “And if you thought I was going to tolerate your verbal beat down for another meeting, you’re just wrong. The way you treat me is wrong ! You don’t get to drag me through hell for things I can’t control. It’s not my fault you have no impulse control with money, and you know it! I have a right to do my job without worrying about how you’re going to treat me in response.”

“Yes, because whining like a little cunt is going to get you very far.” William sarcastically drawled. I felt my veins churning with rage. This was the nastiest thing he’s ever said to me. I was seeing red.

I gritted my teeth, starting in a low mutter, “Why you little-”

“ENOUGH!” Henry shot up out of his chair, “Enough from the both of you!” His head instantly whipped to face his business partner, “William! Y/N’s right. We do not pay her to face your verbal abuse every quarter! And calling her a ‘cunt’ is extremely inappropriate!”

William scoffed, “Sure, because the way she talks to me is completely fine.”

“I never said that.” Henry scowled, “But you did bring her to her wit’s end. Quite frankly, even I find it difficult to deal with you at times. I’m shocked she was able to manage for as long as she did.”

William just scowled, let out a “Tch!”, and stormed out of the office, slamming the door on his exit.

Henry went to follow him, but paused with his hand hovering over the doorknob, “You’re not completely free of consequence, either.” Henry turned his head to deliver a disappointed look in my direction, “Though William mistreated you today, he is your boss. You still have to respect him. I have to ask that you refrain from derogatory names when you’re on the clock.”

That one stung. I’d never made Henry upset before, so this was new territory, and it was frightening. I felt as if I had just disappointed my own father. Somehow, the fact that he wasn’t even angry was what cut the deepest. He was just disappointed. He expected better out of me and I failed to deliver. Even if William was a complete asshole, I regretted tearing into him at Henry’s expense. I lowered my head in shame, “I’m sorry-”

Henry waved off my apology, “Save that for him.” An agonizing heartbeat passed before he spoke up again, “I’m not letting you get fired, by the way.” My head shot back up as I wondered if I heard him correctly, “William and I will discuss your job status, but I do believe we need you here. You are good with money management, after all.” He let out a heavy sigh, “I just wish we would take your advice for once.” His remark was wistful, as if his hands were tied on the matter. With that, he grabbed the knob, opened the door, and disappeared without another word.

As the door softly closed behind him, I whispered as if he could still hear me, “Thank you.”

I dropped back into my chair, leaning back and resting a hand on my eyes, only peeking through my fingers to see the clock on the wall. It was 6:57 AM. The restaurant was going to open in three minutes. I let out a deep sigh and went to work reorganizing the papers in front of me.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

By the time the clock hit 9:00, I found myself standing in the corner of the party room, watching as children ran around and played in the noise that was Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. Since the new quarter just started, there wasn’t really much data for me to work with in my office. That being said, the first day of a new quarter was always the most uneventful for me. My eyes were glued to the stage, where Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica proceeded to sing and play their instruments as if they weren’t bloodthirsty monsters just hours ago. Posers.

I watched Freddy’s head go on a swivel as his jaw snapped in a variety of robotic positions. His eyes jerked side to side with each movement. Everything about him was unnatural. Yeesh! Even in daylight, these things are creepy! How do kids like this? I would have been pissing myself at their age.

I especially hated them now, knowing what Michael told me about them. His words still seemed to echo in my head. The animatronics walk around at night, and they always make their way to the office in an attempt to kill the security guard. Knowing that Michael risked his life each shift as the place’s current security guard made me nervous, but he made it this far. I knew I had to trust him. He must have been on to something. Despite all of this, the idea that really made me sick seemed to shout the loudest in the back of my mind. I think it has to do with the missing children. I felt nauseous.

I rushed to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face only to pause and realize I couldn’t do that. I looked in the mirror and remembered that I was wearing eyeliner, and that stuff wasn’t cheap. I rested my hands on the cool ceramic of the sink as I looked at my reflection. Damn, do I look good for someone who almost died just this morning.

The only thing amiss was my hair, which I never fixed after Michael held his hand in it. I was surprised my eyeliner didn’t even run, only smudged, since my eyes watered as I was staving off my gag reflex earlier. Remembering that brought back the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I never exactly got my own release, but it was worth it just to see and feel him come undone under my touch. Of course, the feeling only intensified into a dull throb between my thighs when I remembered the way he moaned my name. The way he needed me felt as if it could set my very skin on fire. I quickly fixed my hair with a bit of water and left the bathroom. I couldn’t get riled up now when I still had the rest of my shift ahead of me.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

It was 10:30 when I realized that I still hadn’t heard back from Henry. I definitely didn’t want to get fired if it meant I would have to sit at home, doing nothing, with my fingers crossed each night for Michael to come home safely. I was grateful when Henry insisted on saving my job, but I knew William was going to be a hard person to sell the idea to. I didn’t exactly know how their conversations usually shook out, but three and a half hours was a lot of time to be discussing one person’s employment status. That, I knew.

So, I headed over to Henry and William’s shared office to see what was going on. If worse came to worst, I would apologize and beg William for forgiveness. I decided that would be a last resort, since my ego wasn’t too keen on dropping my tail between my legs.

When I approached the door, I saw that a light was on inside the room. I took a deep breath, steeled my nerves, and opened the door. Then, I immediately regretted forgetting to knock, my jaw dropping open in shock.

Everything froze. Even me. I couldn’t move if I wanted to, and I really, really wanted to. The energy in the room came to such a screeching halt that I thought time might have even slowed down. All the air left my lungs as I stared in horrified shock. I never would have thought I’d walk in on William bending Henry over his desk and thrusting into him.

Judging by the scene, they obviously weren’t going the whole time I was waiting for them (three hours would be a hell of a long time to be fucking), but they’d been at it for a while. Henry’s face shone with sweat, his cheeks a warm pink. William was breathing heavily, yet even through his feral gaze I found some sort of loose composure.

We stared at each other in silence for another awkward heartbeat before William finally shouted, “Well? Are ya dumb between your ears? Get out!”

I felt the redness flooding my cheeks as I picked my jaw back up. I was so humiliated, I couldn’t even find a retort to his rude comment, “I- I’m sorry! Oh my god!” I kept struggling for the door as I slapped a hand over my eyes, “Oh my god! Oh my god!” I stumbled out of the room and slammed the door shut. Finally feeling safe enough to open my eyes, I stared at the floor, trying to process what I just saw. Oh my god.

I shuddered, unsure if I was ever going to get over that memory. I didn’t think I would ever see my bosses the same way again…

[mingusmadd]

Started working at a cute little vegan cafe near my house and everyone is so fit and sexy and I’m such a saggy bag of squish

It’s good motivation to keep cals down and steps up

Also my puppy is almost 1!! and I cannot be gross in those photos

[thatbanditqueen]

how jealous/protective is elvis when it comes to becky butt?

Why hello there lovely non non, thanks for reaching out!

What do y'all think? My initially gut reaction is VERY. I'm gonna venture to bet any man caught looking at Becky in any kind of way is gonna get some wrath that falls somewhere on the Elvis temper scale that begins with "not paying attention," and goes from "Mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees" to "pointing a gun atcha while I karate kick your ass,"

Its early days, Becky Butt and Elvis have only known it each other a week. Although, what a week - they managed to spend FOUR nights together and Elvis managed too worm his way into her family and meet her kid and collude with Ida to 'kidnap' her. He probably knows her better than a man she might have met normally and dated for a month or two before being ready to have him meet Ruth and her Aunt and Uncle. But that is how Elvis is, I get the feeling from obsessively studying reading about him that he could be instantly close and familiar with people he got a good read on. So I'm gonna say that intensity applies to his jealous and protective nature, at least in the way I'm sketching him out in this fic. He already punished Joe for teasing her and had someone go tell Charlie not to sit next to Becky in chapter two. Even though he had her dress bought small so she'd be popping out of it all night, he was still very angry when she accidentally flashed Charlie. And there's more of that coming in Chapter 4 because Jerry and Charlie and Larry are just the first to be totally enamored with her.... not sexually mind you, although Jerry kind of develops a soft appreciation for how cool and beautiful she and her daughter are, he wants to try and protect her from Elvis.... but yeah, the Mafia boys are *mostly* gonna wanna be around her, she's someone new and their cooped with with each other all the time, and Becky is such a down-to-earth, semi-Tomboy who's not afraid to get her hands dirty, although she also loves cooking and sewing and making things, she is very much a earth mother goddess type... probably my most domestically inclined OC... anyway, she totally charms the boys with some vegan carob cookies and guitar playing and maybe fixes some pants for Lamar that he rips or something.... as for outright jealousy and protectiveness.... it is going to come out more and more as they go on... there's definitely a fight with baby daddy somewhere down the line....

So, how about you all? Are you here for hot and bothered Elvis?

If you read my fic, you've probably noticed "angry violent" Elvis one of my favorite flavors, along with "Cocky flirty prick," "Having a Hissy Fit," "Soft, sweet and needy," "Cool and confident because I feel safe with you and also like you give me power over you," and "Goofy sexy baby talk in third person about my penis..." hmmmm i feel like i jusst drifted off into a day dream (night dream?) as I started to just describe all the different sides of Elvis because i love them all... although i need to work in "deep philosophical mystical" and "prankster" Elvis more....

Oh no, stop fighting... over me.... i hate it.... take me now

xoxox norah

[space-diablo]

Right back at you with the TS main 5 + Senya, and I'm adding Shika ;)

OKAY.

one aspect about them i love Yuri - She is a great friend. Everyone needs such a friend as Yuri. Nise - That's very personal. But she actually shows typical borderliner behavior and that hits me right in the heart❤ Kuon - She's the Goddess. Her duality actually. So lovely cute and tender girl who is very likely the most coldhearted and cruel person among all the participants❤ Sniper - His entire personality❤ I can elaborate but it's not the time, so in a short... He is so cool and reliable... and at the same time pathetic mess and a Loser. Yes with capital "L". In other words I love that same thing ppl usually hate him for. Rika - That thing... how he hates Sniper and at the same time looks at him like at some kind of an Idol and even forget sometimes that his brother also a living human. Yes, seriously, I do love it. Senya - Little cutie doesn't understand how traumatized he is. Shika - The fact that Shintarou was right. She resembles Kuon. In some ways x)))

one aspect i wish more people understood about them Yuri - She is the most attentive person among all the characters. Nise - She is 16yo old already traumatized by REAL WORLD girl who used to adapt to any situations to survive. Kuon - When she used the railgun for the first time... She didn't forget to think about other ppl who could be in that building. She DID NOT CARE about them in a first place. Like you know she doesn't give a fuck and have no idea why should she. *the list continues* Sniper - I just want to ask ppl to stop throw away that parts of his personality that don't fit their vision of him. Like most of the simps see him just as a kind of sexy-shmexy doll and haters only point at his mistakes. Non of them thinks about his character, non of them sees his traumas and suffering because of his own mistakes, non of them ever tried to understand his actions. The fandom's most popular character? Yes. But also the most misinterpreted one. He deserves better. Rika - He deserves more attention. That is all I can say 'cause... You know, I've never seen any bad word about him. Nor the good one actually. Ppl literally forget about him, some even skip his parts while rereading (yep, I know a few). Senya - That's normal!!!!! I don't want to elaborate. Just this phrase. Shika - That would be nice.. if ppl start talk about her first, so I could tell them that they are wrong 😏😏😏

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character Yuri - can't cook well, but sews really good. Nise - She gives names to stuffed toys... as well as her knives. Kuon - She doesn't want to return home. I can elaborate about that, but not now - to much to say. Sniper - I can't choose so. Vegetarian (but not vegan), gloves are not just part of the image, also he spends all of his free money to support animal shelters. And will be afraid of the grenades for the rest of his life. Rika - He keeps a secret diary. Don't ask. Senya - everyone already knows my fav headcanon that he will choose astrophysics in the future instead of becoming an astronaut. Shika - I'm shamed but I don't have any headcanons for her. Maybe if I would reread TSA more often something could born... But we know the problem with TSA rereadings for me =')))

one character i love seeing them interact with Yuri - surprisingly - with Rika. Nise - with Sniper. Yeah, best BroTP I've ever seen (after Shin and Noi from Dororhedoro), Dumb & Dumber. Kuon - what do you expect here? Sniper. I'm damn shipper XDDD But well besides him - Yuri. Sniper - besides Kuon... I can't choose between Nise and Rika. Rika - with Sniper... As you can see I'm not immune to any siblings interactions. Senya - with Sniper that's obvious. Shika - haaaard one. Don't know really. Need to reread.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more Yuri - with Sniper about non-surviving themes. Nise - with Kuon... as helping her to catch a man. Kuon - with alien-kun is you understand me they have what to talk about 😏😏😏 Sniper - it will never happen but I'd really like to see him dealing with The Third Stage. Obviously they would hate each other and this would be really FUNNY. Rika - I need more siblings interactions! Guess yourself about which sibling of him I'm talking about XDDDD Senya - with anyone else from TS main crew besides Sniper. Shika - also anyone from TS main crew.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character I will combine some characters here. Sorry not sorry. Main5 - Yuri and Sniper is a deadly combination of idiots and the worst Rika's fear is that these two could get along. But they never really will... for various reasons. So Yuri can't get why Rika becomes so anxious about her and Sniper interactions. Nise sees Rika as a rival 'cause he takes a lot of attention (too much attention in Nise's eyes!!!) of her favorite person a.k.a Yuri. Every time Sniper needs to use bathroom or take a shower he's struggling with asking Kuon to go "for a little walk". Also Kuon can manage his dreams a bit. Senya - also I mentioned that.. long ago. He would overgrow his attraction to Oribe, like yes first love, but there's a lot of more interesting things in the world. Shika - As I said nothing here =(

[poobit]

things ill never find funny no matter how much you insist you "can make the joke work" i just subjectively find it Unfunny, listed in no real particular order:

domestic , spousal , child, animal abuse of any kind

treating asian media as this incomprehensible swirl of gibberish talk and colors and plots without reason (this is specially bad at how ppl treat japanese media that isnt your average translated mainstream anime like people treat toilet comedy from japan like its somehow weirder and more esoteric than american toilet humor??????) but i have seen it towards like, other countries.

making fun of birth defects or disfigurements or like, disabled people just existing , even if its like fictional things like, idk someone whos been super experimented on or something like , i Never laugh at how the Abled characters react to someone heavily breathing and wheezing to live or having like way too many limbs or attachments

treating sex worker characters demeaningly or like vapid sexy lamps , or making fun of like Old sex workers/strippers and unconventionally attractive ones, this one really goes Back ive never found it even awkwardly funny as a teen or kid either.

fat people exercising , literally like , what its just general fatphobia thats unfunny but like ppl really wanna make this One trope work in random comedies . like "ooh look how sweaty they are" , bitch everyone sweats .

forcing a vegetarian/vegan character to eat meat , like, sneaking it into their food or straight up forcing them, this one is very specific but Ive seen it, and its just like.. very self justifying breaking someone´s boundaries to the audience because it makes them feel good to do that.

"nerds" in ill-fitting cosplay , especially making fun of "nerdy" geek girls for no reason other than Isnt It So Silly When Woman Likes Strategy Videogame Or Tabletop Gaming , or Something??? Bazinga !!!

[mockerycrow]

Hello!! Can I ask for a 'who do you ship me with" thing with our dear CoD boys'?

I am 28 and I write my PhD thesis in the literature field. I am from Germany and more on the shy side, it's just when I know someone pretty well that I feel easy. I wouldn't say that I have a general problem with people, I just like to take my time to get to know them better.

I love to cook, attend singing lessons right now and,of course, like to sit at my computer and play games.

I love animals and decided to go vegan some years ago. Right now I plan to adopt a shelter dog very soon and I am very hyped to see where this goes!

For looks: I am 1,78 cm,rather skinny and have copper hair that goes to my shoulders. I have blue eyes and like to wear very different types of cloth,from sexy to very sporty. Working out is a regular thing for me because I like to stay fit. For example stand up paddling is super funny and being outside in nature,is always calming my nerves.

Thank you so so much! I hope you have a nice day.

I ship you with…

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick!

These are temporarily closed. I am answering the ones I had in my inbox from when I opened them last time. Please do not request one right now. Thank you.

I ship you with Kyle! You are very different than what he is used to and he likes that. He needs that difference, that change. You two would meet while you’re on a nature walk on a trail, I don’t take objections to this.

Kyle is pretty easy to get along with and he enjoys talking to you about your thesis. Kyle knows when big energy is needed, but also knows when it should remain quiet and such. Kyle likes that you take your time to get to know people; he doesn’t really have that luxury due to the field he’s in, but he’s glad you two made time to get to know each other.

I headcanon Kyle as a decent cooker. You give him a recipe and he can follow it to the T, so maybe as an idea to spend time together, you refuse any involvement of recipes and you decide to cook a meal with him from scratch. He would probably do horrible without you, but you’re there so everything will be fine! (Especially since you’re vegan, he isn’t too educated on what foods are and aren’t vegan).

Due to his commitment to his job, he’s often away from home. This causes him to not know you can sing, so maybe one morning when you’re home together, you’re murmuring lyrics and he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around you silently. If he you stop, he beckons you to continue.

This man plays video games whenever he is home. You play with him and it’s a good bonding experience. He likes to play first person shooters and critic the experience, pointing out the flaws to you.

Seeing he is an active military service member, he has to keep up his physique. Nature walks and going to the gym with you is a must. Kyle also uses it as an excuse to see you in workout clothes.

If you get a dog, he immediately welcomes that dog like they are family.

He’s a calm and determined man and I think you two would work well.

[poshfind]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Torrid Grey Whipstitch Open Toe 3½" Heeled Ankle Booties 10 Wide.