#first goal is the main one because i really want to improve in my area so thats gonna be my focus

[spyderverse]

blah blah here are my current art goals for 2023 <3

focus more on character design/concept art

actually practice figure/gesture drawing

draft some short comic scripts

[plutosunshine]

How to improve your self-esteem?

Venus in the houses

Venus is our self-esteem and values. The house Venus sits in can show us hints on how to help ourselves to build healthy strong self-esteem. Let’s go!

Venus in the 1st house

Of course, the main key here is your appearance. I don’t mean that you must be always gorgeous and pretty. However, it is very important for you to feel that you fit at least your standards. Hair and make-up play a big role. You feel more confident when you like your look. NB!! Not others, but you! Also, your self-esteem grows when you socialize and show your identity in group settings. Don’t hide all the gorgeous talents you have! You MUST show them to the world. Be assertive when it is necessary because achieving goals and being the best is the number one key to your self-confidence. One more thing: aesthetics. Since Venus is in the first house, which makes this planet rising, that means that the qualities of Venus are important to express as well. Aesthetics, art, beautiful things, music, poetry, acting, and everything where you can show your talents. Also, although the first house is ME and my identity, Venus requires peace and balance. It is not easy, but you have to find a balance between showing yourself and being on the same wavelength as others.

Venus in the 2nd house

Here Venus is in its own house. Meaning that the themes of this house are emphasized. Your self-esteem improves when you feel safe and all is set: you have a nice place to live, you have a good salary, and your surroundings are harmonious. Defining your values helps to gain self-confidence. It is totally okay to express your material desires. They make your self-esteem improve. This is the essence of the 2nd house. Save money to have a backup but don’t be strict with yourself. If you really want something, just get it! The key to your self-esteem is your well-being. When you are fed well, dressed well, and generally feel good, you are confident. Any aesthetic activity that makes you feel calm and satisfied is good. Art and other creative areas also may help you because it develops your sense of beauty and allows you to express your talents.

Venus in the 3rd house

Your self-esteem is growing when you feel that you are an interesting companion. The worst nightmare is when people call you boring. That is why sometimes you are trying too hard to attract attention. However, it is only because of your insecurities. I think the key here is to allow yourself to be outgoing and funny personality which you are. Express your interest in communication and exploration. Your self-esteem improves when you feel knowledgeable. You need to constantly receive and share some interesting information. Also, learning something will increase your self-esteem as well. It can be anything: from cooking to science. You just need new knowledge to feel your self-worth and it is okay because it is the way your Venus feels at home. Don’t be afraid to show your knowledge, and make new friends and connections. Also, writing is very good for you. For example, you can express your feelings on paper. It might help you to build a strong relationship with yourself.

Venus in the 4th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are in touch with your emotions and your subconscious needs are met. It is very important not to suppress emotions and feelings. Also, helping and understanding make you feel needed. Sometimes it is not so good thing to seek this feeling, but for Venus in the 4th house supporting and helping someone is beneficial. Every field and place where you can express your ability to FEEL will be useful. For example, psychology, astrology, volunteering, etc. Also, as you know, the 4th house = home. Meaning that you MUST have your own safe place to restore your energy resources. Decorating and cleaning are helpful for your Venus because on a subconscious level you perceive this home as welcoming and safe.

Venus in the 5th house

One word — self-expression. As simple as that, your self-esteem improves when you express yourself and your talents. If you don’t show your creativity, it will grow inside you and turn into poison. So it is so important to express that! Even if you think that the idea is stupid, please just try! Because it is not only about the result but also about the process. Also, showing others your warm and generous side will help your Venus a lot. Be yourself and don’t hide even weird and unusual sides of you because it is still you. Love yourself and respect your desires, enjoy life, and be optimistic about the world! Also, your self-esteem improves when you are the best at something. It shouldn’t be something great, it can be just a little thing that is only yours.

Venus in the 6th house

Your self-esteem improves when you build your plans and fulfill them. Yes, the 6th house here is all about working on yourself. You feel fulfilled when you follow your own rules and routines. It makes you feel like everything is in its place. Sometimes others find your little habits weird but it is who you are. Also, healthy nutrition and sport will make you feel more confident. Being healthy and put together improves your self-esteem. In addition, helping others helps you as well! The 6th house is all about service and when you help someone you feel fulfillment. It is just your essence so don’t hide it!

Venus in the 7th house

Venus here is in its own house but this placement is kind of tricky. Sometimes your self-esteem depends on your partner and you can’t find solid ground for your own personality. It can be so frustrating that you may feel even empty without a partner. However, this situation is not healthy because Venus and the 7th house are all about balance. Yes, Venus in the 7th house screams PARTNERSHIP, but you need to find balance. Give and take equally, respect each other and find harmony in this relationship. This is the main lesson for Venus in the 7th house. Your self-esteem improves when you and your partner find balance and peace in your relationship.

Venus in the 8th house

The 8th house is all about transformations so sometimes having Venus in the 8th house feels unbearable. Your self-esteem transforms constantly. Sometimes you almost don’t feel it but sometimes it breaks your heart. However, it is the essence of this placement. You need to transform yourself and the perception of your values. Life will give you a lot of critical situations that will test your values and self-confidence. Yes, this is not an easy placement to have, but this tough experience makes your self-esteem unbreakable and solid and you become wise and unstoppable.

Venus in the 9th house

Your self-esteem improves when you get new experience and share it with others. It is so important for you to explore the world and build your own philosophy in life. You need to dig deep into the definition of the word «freedom». Your self-esteem improves when you feel no pressure and when you can do whatever you want with your life. Advice-giving is so good for your Venus. You have a lot to share with others so do that! Also, any kind of exploration of other cultures is good, whether it be a new language or travel. Your self-esteem improves when you can help others using your own experience. That is why you would be a great couch!

Venus in the 10th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are the best of the best in your field. You need respect and admiration from others. However, it is important to mention the difference between dependence on someone's opinion and deserved admiration for hard work. The second case is about Venus in the 10th house. Your self-esteem improves when you work hard on your goal and it doesn’t matter how big it is. You just need to build a plan and follow it until your goal is reached. Your self-esteem NEEDS to have a goal. It can be something small but also don’t shy away from big ones!

Venus in the 11th house

Your self-esteem grows when you are not afraid to express your authentic self and show your weird sides to the world. It is extremely important not to think about the opinion of others when it comes to your self-expression and creativity. Sometimes your ideas may seem strange but it is where the real innovation lies! Your self-esteem improves when you feel that your life is fully yours and you can do whatever you want. Also, like-minded people give you confidence because you know that you are not the only one. In addition, participation in some social activities helps your Venus to feel better. For example, charity or fighting for someone's rights.

Venus in the 12th house

Your self-esteem improves when you can express your deep emotions through creativity. Whether it be music or theatre, you need to find a way to free your endless feelings. It can be something small! Also, your self-esteem improves when you help those who are in need. However, be careful! Your sweet soul sometimes doesn’t understand when people take advantage of you. Everything must be in balance. Also, you need to find a field where you can use your empathic gifts to help others. For example, psychology, astrology, therapy, etc.

[davy-zeppeli]

Amber can you give US some drawing tips 🥺

Oh geez, I'm not actually sure! I've done a lot of 'making it up as I go a long' for as long as I can remember. I can try list my main tips I try to adhere to.

1. Tracing to practice isn't bad.

Tracing has helped me learn and figure out so many different types of faces and their shape, contours, feature positioning, etc. . Whenever you trace, just note it isn't going to look perfect - that's where you come in. Personally, I'd trace as a 'base' (getting a rough image of the subject and lightly outlining any shading) and add my own details on top of it. An example of this is my most recent drawing:

On the left is a roughly 'traced' version of it - you can see where I've outlined the main parts and the shaded areas. It looks a bit scary to be honest, but that's when you add your own details and shading to give it a bit of life: see the right image.

2. Shade carefully, but don't over-shade.

I've been forcing myself to learn this a lot recently, but do not start shading with the darkest colour/shade first. If you do this, you're gonna end up with some potentially strange looking contrasts and shading. I recommend building up - a technique I learnt recently is to start with the lightest shading, and then to build on top of that in layers, gradually getting darker:

Another note: editing your source image to emphasise particular features for your own ease is fine! I did it here for one of my Mike pictures, you can see I increased the contrast and exposure (and some highlights) to emphasise where the best areas to shade would be (also removing any colour to make it more similar to what I wanted the desired outcome to look like):

3. If you finish it and hate it, don't get rid of it.

I am not a stranger to hating my art, but having the drawings I'm not too pleased with lets me know exactly where to improve, and also lets me see progress between drawings. See below; I wasn't happy with how the left one turned out, but I kept it so I knew where to improve, almost like a motivator to get better. I then made the one on the right, that I am really proud of.

4. As annoying as it is, drawing more does help you get better.

This is one that makes me mad. Apparently practicing and regularly performing a task increases your chances of getting better. I've been drawing portraits for almost 5 years now (and drawing more generally for as long as I can remember) and the more I draw, the more things I learn and figure out. In my first ever portrait I did, the hair looked awful - so I drew more, intent on improving the way the hair looked. After about a year, I found a technique that stuck. See below my first 'proper' portrait (left) and an example of one where I started gaining my footing with a new technique (right):

It's not an instantaneous process - improving takes time, but you've got to want to improve for it to happen. Wanting to improve doesn't necessarily mean thinking "I have GOT to be the next Da Vinci", sometimes it can be "I want to draw Mike Nesmith and be happy with the way it looks"; it's all dependent on what you personally want to get out of your art.

5. Accept you aren't going to be good at everything straight away.

I'm still processing this one myself. Sure, I can draw faces, but there are still so many other things that are a mystery to me in terms of figuring out how to draw them. Clothes are my enemy, as are bodies - I know these are gonna take some time to get good at, so for now I focus on what I can do, which is faces - and I'm happy with that. When making art, you've got to make sure that what you're making makes you happy, or at least content. If you're making art thinking "I hate this. Why am I doing this. I don't even like this" then take a moment to think about it. For example, I made the decision to draw clothes recently because I wanted to make a specific image - if it wasn't for that end goal, I would never have chosen to draw clothes because they don't bring me joy when drawing them. Draw for yourself first and foremost, and for everyone else as a second priority.

And that's about all I can think of immediately - other than 'don't waste money on overly-fancy tools' (I've been running on a £2 book and a HB pencil for years) I can't think of anything more general to offer. If you want more specific advice, I can try to provide what I can. Other than that, I hope this helps somewhat?

Thank you for the ask! 💚💕🌈🌟

[like-it-or-not-i-am-alive]

1 WEEK ON T

Hi! Before I begin, here is some background on me. You can call me Kidd, or Kara, I don't want to give my name at the moment. I made this blog out of anger after an incident in my region and home. I am in my early/mid-twenties, I am transmasc nonbinary and prefer having a more feminine body shape. I don't know if this is important to anyone, but I am plus size, so I can comment on weight changes for me if any occur. I am planning on trying to minimize vocal changes, I will document on that as well. I am taking 0.2mL of T weekly. I plan on being on T for around a year to start with (as I was hoping to get off T once my main permanent changes occur) but I may stay on it forever if the euphoria stays this good. I have PCOS, so my testosterone is naturally on the high end. I have preexisting stubble under my chin/neck and upper lip areas.

Now for the update:

Today is officially one week on testosterone! I just took my second shot, and I am feeling great. The needle doesn't hurt as much as a lot of people make it out to be... I guess it is possible that I just didn't understand their exaggerations though.

I wanted to make some reasonable timeline for chemical transition (especially because I do not see a lot of transmasc nonbinary representation). I decided to start with my first week because I think a lot of people look really early for changes and I want them to be prepared. To be honest, I haven't seen much one week in other than the psychological improvements. Which was expected, since a week is not much time for your body to adjust. I am so delighted and excited that it's been hard to be sad or annoyed all week.

I had one incident of hunger above average that I thought could be because of T on day five or six. My partner, who has been on T for around four years, agreed at the time. I especially think that it was T related because of my stomach issues that limit my appetite frequently.

My partner recommended keeping a warm cup of tea on hand for when the hunger fully takes hold, to avoid feeling constantly hungry between hearty meals. I think for other people, gum would be a good approach, too. My partner seems excited to make me more protein-based meals, so maybe that helps!

----TW: talk of genitals below the cut----

My biggest goal with T is bottom growth, of which I have seen none in a week (shocking /j). I am more aware of that area, however, and I think it may be because of my hyperfocus on the change. I also had a moment where I felt the area and experienced a heightened reaction! Which was the same day as the hunger, so clearly some hormonal occurrence was happening.

A lot of people say they see a noticeable difference between one month and two months so my next update will not be until my one month on T.

[ponds-of-ink]

More Brooke Endicott Stuff Because She’s On My Mind

Okay, I put a bit more thought into her in general. Hope this helps flesh her character out.

*Brooke’s special ability is to draw very well for her age (which is, like, around the age range of 8 to 10). Her power of bringing things to life comes from a special paint kit that she got from a pawn shop. Where did it come from originally? No one knows at the moment.

*She is a very visual learner. If someone like Wordgirl has to teach her a word, it is recommended that the definition has to be accompanied by a drawing or some other visual example. Or at least give a vivid enough description to have her mentally picture it.

*Her main end goal is to spruce up Fair City, which has been a bit boring ever since Wordgirl and her gang of villains have seemingly retired. The only problem is she thinks doing petty things like using a hand-drawn robot dragon come to life just to spew orangish paint onto City Hall counts as a good way to improve the town. Blame whoever mentored her, I guess..

*Though she can paint anything she wants, she tends to use what her victim/target desires as inspiration. Especially if she needs to use said inspiration as bait.

*She tends to be more of a collaborative villain, preferring teamwork and “commissions” more-so than doing all her plans alone. Maybe that’s because she’s used to doing that in Art Class.

*She also has a tendency to pronounce certain words as they are spelled. For example: “concede” as “con-said-ee” rather than “con-seed”. Thankfully, a quick visual correction will get her on the right track again.

*Her villain title of “The Crossover Queen” comes from the fact that she has drawn two or more fictional universes crossing over a few times in her crimes. Like, Pretty Princess Hour meets Cyber-Dogs or some in-universe example like that.

*She prides herself in her Crossover Queen title (as well as her creative endeavors in general), but isn’t really that happy in certain areas of her life. Namely the aforementioned mispronouncing thing. Really gets on her nerves when she finds out she’s been saying something wrong.

*If I had to pick a good starting point for her voice, I would either pick Elizabeth Afton from Fnaf Sister Location or Fluttershy from My Little Pony Generation 4. Just a polite, girly tone for someone so determined to be a “queen” at being an artsy villain.

*Oh, and she models her proper villain outfit after her paint brush of choice. Probably has a bunch of “costume” variants made out of clothes she has in her closet, honestly. Her parents aren’t super rich...

*TL;DR: Polite artsy girl finds a crazy paint kit and uses it to make fictional things and people come to life. Turns to a life of supervillainy to keep up with Fair City tradition, but is a bit goofy even for this city’s standards. Then again, she’s a kid sooo...

Bonus edit because I forgot to mention: Her name is a play on the words “Book end”. I guess at the time I first made her I was leaning more towards a literary side of her than an artistic side. Huh.

[carnal-lnstinct]

Writer Goal ask

🤔👻 🦄🥕🦷

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

Not really, I think the eight characters I got is plenty to work wi- Goten. Not regularly though. xD I think I just want to write this one cute first date fic for him where he wears Goku's "lucky jacket" based on a fanart I saw where Goku refers to it as such because it was what he wore when Goten was made

👻Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

I want to be able to write more non-sexual intimacy and adventure-based fics. Kinda wanna also try writing fighting scenes more but they are so tricky.

🦄Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing?

Not really, never gave this one too much thought.

🥕What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?

Fighting scenes! And orgasm/afterglow scenes. And maybe be more consistent in my personal characterizations, but we all knew there is no "right" or "perfect" way to write a character if it suits the story you're trying to tell so I go back and forth on the latter.

🦷Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

ngl, finishing DWD main story WIP. I am both attached and disconnected from it at the same time and would rather continue the one-offs regarding the universe of it. At this point its just the Goku chapter and that SHOULD excite me to work on, but...I can't commit to what I want to do or what happens. It's feeling more like a GoD x Vegeta ft. Goku story to me now than the story I thought I was telling.

I have some dialogue written for it from a year ago, but I need to get it off my other laptop and I know I want it to take place after the Uni 6 tournament. Also, I can't decide to do a full au and give GoD her own twin sister!GoD or just continue with Champa being a long-time rival of hers. It's the WIP-piest of WIPs to ever WIP and I just want to wrap up this story and let it tell itself in the side stories I write for it. ♥ I got aus for my au and I prefer those right now. xD

WRITER GOAL ASK LIST FOR A NEW YEAR 🎉

[micalpixel]

May Flowers Game - August 2024 Progress Report

Hello everyone! It's time for the August devlog entry for my indie game work-in-progress! Here are the topics for this month:

World and Story

Gameplay

Features

Graphics and Sound

Research

What's Next

World and Story

The #1 goal for August was to finish an outline of the entire main quest. Here it is. Shrunk down heavily. Because, ya know, this would spoil the entire story. :3

Summary of the chart:

May must collect 6 use-able items. These will be obtained in a linear order. The goal with these is to slowly enhance May's abilities in a way that builds on the abilities she learned before. The order really is important.

May must collect 7 sets of 3 quest items (21 items total) to win the game. These can be obtained in ANY order. The goal with these is to encourage exploration. While exploring an area, you might not find one of these items. But you may find a component of one of them. Which means you can start working towards it, by accident. Exploration is meaningful and will be rewarded.

The columns indicate items, characters, locations, types of events, and descriptions of said events.

I'm really excited with some of the cutscenes and characters. And others, not so much. This graph will be iterated on and improved over time.

Gameplay

Two major updates for gameplay...

#1: So, in the very first week of development, I made a few decisions in order to limit the scope of the game (so it wouldn't get too big and hard to complete):

No HUD or health bars (complexity)

No combat (combat requires balancing, more items, etc)

No equippable items.

But then, I made a critical error. I assumed that a game with no health bar and no combat meant a game with no enemies. And...that is not correct. I completely forgot that games where the goal is to avoid touching enemies, rather than fight them, exist. Watching a playthrough of an old game called "Ancient Empires" made me realize this. And there are other famous such games where that is the entire point, like "The World's Hardest Game."

So, May's game won't just be about puzzles and meeting NPCs anymore. I'm going to start adding enemies for May to avoid. (Sorry, May) :3

And this is actually really important. Avoiding enemies can be a challenge. Avoiding enemies as efficiently as possible can be an even harder self-imposed challenge for players. A game with no enemies, and with kinda simple puzzles, is kinda not challenging. Without challenge, a game becomes boring. Even really simple enemies moving around, blocking the way, will make the player stop and think about the best way to proceed.

In the end, I'm confident that adding enemies will make the game more fun.

#2: Another new major mechanic will be the ability to pick up and drop items. These items can have various properties. Some might be part of a delivery quest. Some might interact with puzzles in unique ways.  During this time, she won't be able to use her other abilities. She WILL be able to carry them from one room to another, though.

Since items are not equippable, and there is no HUD, how will the player know which item May currently has?

May will hold it over her head as she walks around. :3

In short, you're going to see May holding things above her head. A lot. :D

(Placeholder yellow square for now. :3)

Features

A couple of new features were added to the game engine this month:

Gamepad and Touch Input Support: The game now supports controllers, and touch input too. Touch inputs involve an overlay of buttons, similar to how many mobile emulators work. Eventually, I think these will be moved to the left and right sides of the game, rather than blocking the view. But do non-touchscreen players really want to see that? This is something I need to think more about.

(This is a placeholder UI. Not final!! It works, I swear!)

Large Scrolling Maps: I think I'm going to keep puzzle-ish rooms to a single screen size. However, for open areas, I think having large traversible "rooms" will suit the gameplay better, and be a nice change of pace.

Minimap: The game now has a functional minimap screen. You can see your current location, and also  move the cursor to view others. I ultimately want to see if I can have sidequests in-progress be managed here too.

Text Features: The game now supports more dynamic text. During cutscenes, I can change the text speed, add pauses, and wait for player input. This will be important for adding characters' mannerisms. And comedic timing too. ^^

Better Scene Management: Code for cutscenes was tidied up. Multiple different NPC objects now rely on a common script. Also, May can now switch between player-controlled movement, and movement dictated by cutscenes.

Code Cleanup: Lots of improvements to the code were made, to help keep things less buggy and make it easier to add new maps. For example: Each room spawns a "May" so it can be tested independently, but moving to a different room will no longer spawn a second "May". It used to. And it was deleted immediately. But this caused weird flickering issues due to multiple cameras being present, even if it was just for one frame.

Graphics and Sound

No updates on sound...

For graphics, though. I made a mockup of the inventory screen.

I also studied lots of pixel art games with similar character sizes. And I realized, even for such small sprites, there's a ton of variety. I don't expect May's sprite to change much. But for the environments, there are so many different ways to do things. Need to think about that more.

And also created the first full-size art of May.

One person even made fanart of her!! 🥲 Thanks, Loren!!

Research

Lots and lots of research was done this month. Especially for that main quest arc above.

I realized that it would be much easier to think of ideas if I had a list of things in front of me. So, instead of wondering, "What item would make sense for this character?", I can just browse a list of hundreds of item ideas and see if anything jumps out. Items, characters, professions, locations, adjectives... Lists for all of these are now ready to use.

I also did some research on specific real-world topics. On beekeeping, since May is a beekeeper. And also a few other historical things.

And also, watched/played a few video games:

Played: The Frog for Whom the Bell Tolls (I studied how it handles quest and item progression)

Watched: Mother 1 (I forgot so much of this game, just wanted to see it again.)

Watched: Quest: Brian's Journey (made me realize I should think more about environmental graphical styles)

Watched: Ancient Empires (reminded me that you can have a game with enemies but without combat)

Playing: OneShot (yes, finally!)

What's Next

So...What's next on the agenda?

Take another swing at the main quest arc chart above. I took notes on the first one, where I felt it was lacking. And I'd like to addres them in the next version.  For example, focus more about designing tasks that require use of May's abilties, rather than just delivering things. I may even build another chart, completely from scratch, with all new characters and locations. Just to see what kinds of ideas shake out of that.

Think more about major themes. What is this game about? What is this game's world about? Who is May? What is village life like?

Make a test dungeon. An interconnected series of rooms with puzzles and enemies, to see what the gameplay feels like.

Create a "Vertical Slice" of the game. This means a demo of part of the game where everything is 100% polished and is something a lot of game developers create. It's a way of saying, "The game will be exactly this, just more of it."

Maaaybe work on graphics for characters and scenery? At the very least, experimenting on different styles.

A major term on my mind is "Iterative Design." Making something, and then improving it. Again and again. There are so many parts to a game, all influencing each other. Until now, they're all been worked on independently.

But that main quest chart shows how things are becoming connected. Characters, locations, items, abilities, themes, puzzles, the world itself. When one is changed or improved, it means the others are impacted and thus need to be improved too, to get them on the same level.

So, I think a lot of the work going forward will be to smooth over everything with a finer and finer comb, and do the same to everything else.

Thank you for reading. See you next month!

[everythingisliminal]

Life Reflections

Well, I've come to the end of my 75 Hard/Soft run. Here's what I've learned over the past few months:

I don't need more discipline.

I do need a healthier relationship with myself.

I did 75 Hard for about a month. I loved the concept of overhauling my lifestyle and just committing to focusing on my health. However, meeting my daily goals meant forgoing other healthy activities like cleaning dishes, sleeping, getting in electrolytes, etc. Eventually I was so overwhelmed that I fell into the depression pit and had to reassess: I could keep up with 75 Hard but feel broken by the end, or I could acknowledge that this challenge wasn't for me and modify my goals and be gentler with myself. I decided on the later.

That lasted until I got food poisoning, which nerfed me for a week and wrecked the habits I'd developed. Combined with other life things, I slowly slid back into the depression pit. I could barely get myself to work. I was having communication problems. I had no motivation to follow any kind of workout plan. I haven't been able to apply to any new jobs despite really needing to.

Luckily I'd already requested some days off work to watch the Crossfit Games live. It's the few days a year I put everything on hold and just watch my games. There was a lot of downtime those first couple days (iykyk), which I used to crochet, read Atomic Habits, watch Midwest Magic Cleaning videos, and self reflect.

I realized I've never had the level of fitness I've wanted because I'm so focused on working out I've neglected everything else that goes with health. I don't have a solid foundation of eating well, maintaining my space regularly, resting, and recognizing / thinking through body cues. I've metaphorically been trying to do calculus without first working through trigonometry.

And slowly I started cleaning my apartment. Lit a candle, took out all the trash, watched the next event. Cleaned parts of the bathroom, watched the next event. Vacuumed. Two days of this and one of the first things my friend said when she came over yesterday afternoon was "wow, your apartment is so clean!"

Just now I walked through my apartment with hand bells and, my goodness, what a change. A slow upward spiral of taking care of myself and my space so that we both feel more airy and light. In both cases, I essentially cleansed the main walking space. I didn't open cupboards or closets (so the energy is still heavy there), but my space is habitable again.

This is where I want to build consistency. The more consistently I tidy/cleanse, the less overwhelming the task will be. Focusing on visual improvements to the bigger picture, and then taking on 3x3ft areas as I feel ready. Focus on one cupboard, focus on one stagnant or chaotic space inside myself.

So starting 75 Hard was hella helpful, in that I learned how it does not reflect my actual needs and desires. It turned me to goo so that I could recognize my true chrysalis.

[bearpillowmonster]

Outer Worlds Review

I could see why someone may or may not like this game. On one hand, it has good character work and a unique sensibility that matches Obsidian's past work with the way people talk like they're from a southern shore. It'd make for a good book. On the other hand, I feel like there are some elements missing that fail to make it unique enough of a game.

The graphics aren't bad by any means but they do that weird thing where sometimes they'll look untextured and just bare masses and other times they'll look fleshed out and good, maybe it was just the way my computer ran it. But some of the environments made the color look too blended in despite whatever settings I could find to fix that, making the bodies difficult to find and loot in certain areas.

It's a bit of a mixture of Fallout and Mass Effect if I'm being honest, going to different planets, taking different party members and getting their quests and dialogue, it's neat. This was my 4th of July game and what a choice for its capitalism subtones, well done.

The worlds are really nice and varied and there're plenty of NPCs with so much personality to make it feel lived in. Ellie was my favorite.

As far as DLC goes, the first one is a mystery so I ended up doing most of the side-quests, really trying to get the details and that's kind of the thing. There's a lot of lore and stuff to read but I don't normally read them. There's crafting and modification, skill trees, a cool time slow power, stores and different things like that but I didn't really end up using them, I'm not normally one to flock to those and mainly try to streamline my experience until those elements are necessary and for people like me that hoard and love collecting, you'll have no problem. I needed money on the Groundbreaker but only because I didn't realize that bits were currency, once I learned that, I never needed money again, I was rich yet I never really went to any stores or vending machines, I never needed to, I collected enough ammo and there were consistent guns just lying around that would outclass what I had so I never fell behind either. I played on Normal difficulty and I don't think it was baby level but I was comfortable with what I had, I did worked to ration and do things more with dialogue but from time to time I'd take the wild route. While I compared it to Fallout, the combat is a lot more satisfying, there isn't a body part mechanic but it's comparable enough to just shoot where you mean to and that part will explode.

Back to the DLC, which are good lengths, for the one there was a hotel and it had several islands, I could spend about an hour per island give or take. I wanted to get to level 25 for the other DLC so during the time period, I gained around 13 levels (should that mean anything) which was well past my goal so those DLC give you a ton of exp. Should you keep to the main quest, (this goes for the main game as well) you're missing out on a whole lot and can barely be considered the experience. It all interweaves and some are character quests, improving relationships and such. I saw a little faction action but I still haven't found a game that does it like Skyrim. Maybe it's because I was more aligned as a scoundrel than corporate but it does good to give you the option to play however you want and gives you more reason to go back and replay should you want to see other outcomes. That can inspire you to wait for the DLCs until just about before you finish the game.

But you have the power to obliterate just about any NPC so that's crazy. I heard something along the grapevine when this game was first getting popular about how it was short and I saw the runtime and kind of tsked at them because it's not really a short game, it's just a regular sized game, I'd rather it be packed short than bloated long even for an RPG but as I moved on, I realized just what they were talking about. You see, you visit (most) of the planets but you more or less choose how long to stay on them and what you do, you can B-line the main story and be done rather quickly, imagine going to Ganon first thing in BOTW. I had paced myself not even knowing this and ended up spending 25 and a half hours all said and told but I found that shortly after I did that first DLC, I did like 2 or 3 quests and it was time for the final one.

I had done the character quests but it never really felt like 'oh, this will contribute to me later on' it was just another fun romp. There's an absurdity of options which is right up my alley so there are a lot of consequences and payoffs to help you fight later and stuff but not as much for the companions.

While having different characters in your party allows for different banter, and I loved the characters I had met, I felt like they weren't really given their time to shine in the regular quests? Having one may help you excel at a specific attribute but it's still 'you' doing it and a lot of the time, I had already upgraded my stats in that field well enough to do whatever I wanted for the quest I was on, armor also improves these so they almost seemed reduced to companions like Lydia in Skyrim in the main story. Yeah, she's there and she helps you fight and sometimes you can see characters butt heads like with the Iconoclasts and Sublight but because I was the one manipulating it, it wasn't like I just tripped on a plot or anything, I engaged it.

Maybe because they're all 'recruitable' and it gives you the option to not even take anybody but even with Mass Effect, certain ones were optional but you had a base of ones that were there no matter what, I don't know how to feel because yeah, I'm the big bad hero of the story and I'm impressing my friends but if I'm not doing it with them then is it really that cool? I'd never had to think about that with a game before because more freedom=better right?

As far as the ending, it's one of those cheesy knockoff ones where they show a slideshow "because of your actions, this happened." blah blah blah, it also includes the DLC which is why I said to play it "right before". So great fun but you start to see some cracks.

[meditating-dog-lover]

Eczema 03/22

So my skin is starting to look better. It's still dry and covered in some cuts, but the redness is slowly subsiding.

The only things I've done different so far were taking the liver detox supplements and avoiding cocamidopropyl betaine. Though I ultimately believe it's the supplements that are more helpful because I am convinced my condition has an internal root cause. Addressing gut and liver health are the primary goals to healing, the allergies and food sensitivities are secondary.

I've only been on the supplements for a week and 3 days, which is barely any time. I'm going to give it 4 weeks, but milk thistle helps with liver health. It is something I can take every now and then when I feel like I need a boost or a natural detox (again your gut and liver should do the detoxing for you, not a weird juice cleans or colonic or coffee enema you heard about on Pinterest). But the gut and liver get taxed and overwhelmed due to stress, poor diet, pollution, and drinking. I don't notice any huge changes in my health since I started taking this supplement, but I see my skin quite slowly, but surely improving and healing.

Today is Friday so I ate out. I had Crumbl and Chick-fil-a, none of those being liver-friendly foods due to the high fat and sugar contents, which makes them inflammatory. But I eat very healthy overall, so I'm not going to stress. I noticed my hands, especially the tops, get itchy after I eat fried stuff like chicken tenders (like from Chick-fil-a). Again it's high in fat and inflammatory, not so much a food sensitivity. The same thing happened to me on Tuesday when I also ate out, I just went to a different place not Chick-fil-a.

I also had pizza today and I didn't get a weird flareup. I want to go back to eating tomatoes, but once my inflammation heals ~100%. I just want to continue to eat some tomato here and there because I heard that avoiding a certain food for too long can cause you to develop an allergy against it. I don't know if this is 100% true but I'm not taking any chances either way.

I notice myself not really rubbing my hands under running hot water as often. If I do, it's for a shorter period because I'm not getting that much of an inflammatory feedback loop like I used to due to my skin being less inflamed. I will gently and slowly scratch some areas on my hands and fingers with my fingernails, which may generate some scrapes, but not as bad as blisters and large cuts and oozy and bloody skin areas.

I am using the Avene cream, and I'm using an occlusive like Cerave or Aquaphor healing ointments. They have been helping me too. Even though I want to manage my eczema internally, having a cream and occlusive really comes in handy. I love slugging to begin with and would love it even if I didn't have eczema.

I'm still going to do a gut evaluation and then look for a longterm gut supplement. Again the liver detox is used to give my liver a quick boost so it can work in digestion, bile production, enzymatic activity, and detoxing/filtration. This is something I can do here and there, but I'll determine my pattern eventually. I'm taking it now daily because it's my first time taking it and I don't have a completed gut evaluation nor supplement yet. Again I will see what gut health supplement would work best for me, but I know I need one so my gut can be healthy, and therefore my skin.

In one of my old eczema posts, I mentioned that allergies, food sensitivities, and nutritional deficiencies play a role in eczema. I've already either somewhat managed these, the nutrition part, or either don't see them as a main root cause priority, like allergies and food sensitivities. Gut health and proper liver detoxification also play a role in eczema management, something I'm currently working on. I'm taking the liver supplement, I can't wait to do the gut evaluation and then find a longterm supplement that can help me with my skin.

I will heal. I just need to address my gut and liver function as I've never done so before. I feel like it really will help, and my skin already looks less inflamed and is less itchy thanks to this supplement and the new soaps.

[ledenews]

Mayor of Moundsville: ‘It’s Such a Great Honor’

So, yeah, now she’s the mayor. First, it was council. No, wait, it was the Zoning Appeals Commission that offer her the first taste of municipal government. That’s where Sara Wood-Shaw whetted her palate for politics beyond simply watching her father, David, serving as a council member and as the mayor of Moundsville in the past. Then she ran for an at-large council position back in 2018 and won, and this past November Wood-Shaw was re-elected after defeating a pair of challengers. And then? “It was December 20th, our final council meeting of the year, and I was nominated to be mayor by Brianna Hickman,” Wood-Shaw explained. “And then Randy Chamberlain seconded the motion, and I was sitting next to my father and he stayed silent.  I’m not sure how he reacted as far as a facial reaction is concerned, but he tells me that he’s very proud of me. “It was a total surprise because the way it works is that the former mayor, Judy Hunt, could have requested a second year in the position, but she told us that evening that she would not be exercising that option,” she continued. “So, I was nominated and no one else was, so that’s when it went to the second and then to the vote. That’s when I became the next mayor of Moundsville.” So, now, it’s Mayor Sara Wood-Shaw? “It is neat. I’ll admit that. And it’s not worn off yet, to be honest,” Wood-Shaw admitted. “Of course, it’s still only the first month, so it’s still very new to me. “I really can’t think of a bigger honor, though. And I’m not trying to be corny, either,” she said. “I think about it this way - the people who watched me grow up here in Moundsville have elected me, and now I am their mayor. It’s such a great honor.” Mayor Wood-Shaw is joined in the photo by her father, David (on left), former mayor and council member Judy Hunt, and City Manager Rick Healy. Less Pomp and More Priorities OK, so a gavel does come with the position, and Wood-Shaw now sits in the middle of her six council colleagues, but the 34-year-old leader is focused on infrastructure, the retention of police and fire personnel, and dilapidated structures. “I know I hear about the need for more demolitions more than I hear about anything else,” the mayor reported. “People are tired of it, and now that they have seen us take action in other areas, they want us to know their property values are suffering, too. I don’t blame them. “Ever since I joined council one of the focuses has been on improving the quality of life for our residents, and I think the City has done a great job addressing the things our residents have told us about,” she said. “But we need more of it. We need to hear from more of our residents, and we’re making efforts to encourage more feedback.” OK, so … the folks are obviously listening. “Well, one way I hope to get connected with everyone in Moundsville is with an idea that I and Brianna (Hickman) discussed recently,” Wood-Shaw said. “We created a new committee after a vote by council is the Community Education and Engagement Committee and that’s because we understand that not everyone is on Facebook and not everyone reads the newspaper anymore. People really do get their information in different ways these days, so we want to try to cover them all. “Our goal with this new committee is to create new events after hearing from as many people as possible through the members of this committee,” she said, “And we’re going to invite as many people as possible to attend those meetings, too. If we just keep attempting to engage our residents, inevitably we will hear from more and more of them over time.” And there are those live concerts, too, down in town, right? “Yes, and one of the main reasons why we started ‘Jefferson Fridays’ was to engage our younger citizens more than what was taking place when I first was voted to a position on council, and we know that those events have worked in a lot of ways. First and foremost, they know who to contact when they have an idea for a performer for one of those Friday evenings,” Wood-Shaw reported. “We also just started a new program called ‘Create with MAC,” and MAC stands for the Moundsville Arts and Culture Commission. “During those events, we’ll have smaller get togethers for people to do things like calligraphy, and other activities that we believe our older residents will enjoy,” she explained. “You come sign up, all of the materials are free, and you’ll leave with a new skill. Another activity will be photography and I know a lot of people are looking forward to that evening, as well.” Sara ran for Moundsville City Council in 2018 and won, and now she serves with her father, Mayor David Wood. Smiles, Of Course, But Ears, Too Sara Wood-Shaw is a very positive person. Seriously, her glass is half full. All. Of. The. Time. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with her proactive approach, but when the mayor of Moundsville encounters an issue needing addressed? “Well, you get it taken care of as quickly as possible,” Wood-Saw said, and yes, with a smile. “If it’s not an instant fix, then it’s very important to communicate to those who are impacted by the problem.” Sounds easy, right? “It is easy,” she insisted. “It’s a part of the job we signed up for, right?” It is, and Wood-Shaw plans to persistently push for others to get more involved, too. It’s her mantra, and she’s sticking to it. “I was very excited because I have always been so passionate about Moundsville and our potential to have so much more as a community. That’s why I hope we get more investment from our citizens,” Wood-Shaw said. “I’d love to see more people attend our meetings, and I would love to see the open spaces in our committees and commissions get filled by residents. I initially got familiar with the city by being a member of the zoning appeals board and that led to me attending council meetings. “When I attended those meetings, it made me want to be more involved and that’s why I initiated ran for a council position,” she recalled. “We need people who care about the future of the city, and people who care about attending activities and other amenities because there’s really no reason why we can’t have some of the attractions other cities have right now. I’d love to see residents come and engage the council so we know how they feel.” Read the full article

[tenderlyrenjun]

time out: the prequel

↦ summary: here it is, the beginning - not of your rivalry but of your fucking relationship (pun intended)

↦↦ includes: excessive use of commas, yelling (?), slight rich kid au, car sex/safe sex (!): dick sucking, fingering, little bit of a praise kink, and penetration; it’s kind of a soft fic, like tender

↦ hockey co-captain/architecture major!jeno x figure skater/bio major!reader

11,6k words (i am so sorry) | preview one, preview two | main part

if you are under 18 and you interact with this fic at all, I will block and report you

a/n: i think that this is going to be my last attempt at posting fics. if it doesn’t work out, if people don’t comment or don’t like this one, i really don’t know what else i can do except stop.

Hockey practice, tonight, ended on a pretty low note – for the entire team, yeah, but none more than their zealous co-captain, Lee Jeno, who left the locker rooms deaf to any worried remarks. ‘Are you okay?’ followed him pointlessly, because everyone already knew how he felt going into the rink.

If Jeno’s demeanor did not make it evident, Renjun, who accompanied Yangyang after a figure skating competition, gave a repeating throat slicing gesture, signaling not to test the guy’s patience. Captain Lee 2.0 (nicknamed per birth order) already had a rough week: physics exam Tuesday afternoon, a huge digital technology project due Wednesday morning, a series of advanced geometry proofs to study for next week’s pop quiz, etc. But he stayed up, regardless, chained to a desk in his apartment, ordering Postmates everyday because he had no time to cook, wanting solely to focus on understanding and creating new plays for the season, possibly more than his maths class (but his parents don’t see his grades, so it’s fine). It’s just … This is his first full season as captain (or co-captain as people will not let him forget), after having been asked by Mark during last school year’s bye week. And to commemorate the promotion, he really, really wants to break the team’s losing streak. It has been going on for a few years, since the last official playmaker joined the NHL in North America. You know, good for him, hope he’s happy and healthy, Jeno guessed, shrugging begrudgingly, but there has been no obvious starting point to rebuild the same success in the team’s current lineup. Playmakers do not just drop into existence! People work insanely hard for that position – which is what Jeno tries to do. Not that it is particularly working out at the moment.

The playmaker is fast, super-fast, like Quicksilver fast, but Sungchan, their tallest player, can lap him twice in less than a minute. The playmaker keeps his eye out for openings on the ice, usually scoring more assists than goals, but Mark, his other half and co-captain, when he is on the ice, not in line, stands and observes during the game before making any moves, which typically lead into assists anyways – Mark actually got an award in high school, twice, for most assists in the league, and this season looks like he may be on track for the same thing. The only thing Jeno has in common with any playmaker is the forward position, the most advantageous position to score, at least, more than defence or goalie. Although, Haechan pulled a Hextall during one of the initiation practices, and the memory will keep him in the goalie spot, assuming that he can recreate it in an actual game. But, despite all the reverence, each player still has areas to improve upon. Jeno does not want to be in a position where all the “good” players are benched, or where, God forbid, someone gets too injured and the entire team has to forfeit a win because Jeno did not invest time into every. single. member.

For this exact reason, Yangyang, their newest member, lacking any real prior skill (also a weak link at the moment), was assigned 6AM solo drill practices. Okay, well, not assigned per se – Mark told Jeno that he cannot do that, or film their practices, because he gets a bit … too obsessed. But once Jeno found out that Yangyang started going the extra mile, it felt like a loophole, and he started giving out more guidance, a.k.a. specific drills that he knows would help Yangyang not only get in a good practice but also improve his skill. Jeno can simply pray that someone will eventually become available to practice a one-on-one arch backchecking – he would do it, but he has an 8AM, and the drill would make him skip class. Hockey is important to him, just not as vital as his architecture degree (the main thing he is in college for … although, he cannot blame anyone if they assumed he planned on going pro). Jeno has enough self-control to recognize when not to play – doesn’t mean he likes it though. And unfortunately, Yangyang is not the only … hurdle this year. Haechan, who inherited his number (66) from a graduating senior last year and typically plays defence, has not fared as well as his namesake, or older brother, with the new plays lately. But, considering the irreplicable (but hopefully replicable) goalie shot, Jeno keeps Haechan, on the ice, opposite Winwin – both as goalies, a position that Haechan has not held since little league. And Sungchan, the team’s most recent high school graduate, and former varsity star player, like Mark (!) … Actually, don’t get Jeno started on Sungchan.

The maknae is friends, a dongsaeng to, his mortal enemy.

Alright, hardly a mortal enemy, but Jeno does not consider you one of the friendliest people. You are too argumentative against him, branding your name in a golden calligraphy at the forefront of his hippocampus, drawn like the Illuminated Manuscript. Literally anyone would debate that the two of you are symmetrical, but the last year or two has shown that two sides of the same coin describes your relationship way better – you both obsess over your individual sports (figure skating and ice hockey, respectively), but where Jeno dedicates himself to the rink, you hog it, or, at least, that is how he sees it. You see him exactly as he sees you – passion tainted by frustration, framed as hatred. And it’s not like people haven’t pointed it out the similarities; Jeno believes Renjun’s exact words were, ‘just fuck and get it over with’ (he doesn’t know if Renjun was serious or not). And if he is not mistaken, your coach encouraged you to ‘make nice’. You are the one who cannot get through the irritation, the screaming matches, the – the dry mouth and headaches an-and feeling flushed before, during, or after an argument. And him, too. You always leave, always leave him staring, jaw clenched tightly, eyebrows frozen deeply into his face.

In fact, to really further his perspective (that the problem is you), Jeno was nice, earlier in the day, before practice; he wanted to be nice, to you.

Jeno was heading into practice sooner than the others, as he usually does (Mark arrives early too, a couple minutes after Jeno, to set up the rink and go over practice goals), but this time Sungchan texted him, asking for a ride, delaying Jeno’s typical entrance). Their youngest member generally catches a ride from you, which Jeno absolutely abhors because it means that he has to see you, but Sungchan’s license is still on the way and he does not have a car at the moment (all ice teams use an off-campus rink, the one on Anam, and Jeno seems to schedule practice for the most inconvenient times, a.k.a. all the damn time). But, like, half a minute before Jeno got to Sungchan’s dorm – literally as he turned into the carpark – the giant Bambi dude texted that he had a friend emergency at a different dorm, not even a dorm! An apartment building. The SoHo Apartments, where you live.

How Sungchan got there, Jeno will never know, yet he still went. Jeno still went, despite knowing that there was a near 100% chance of running into you. He wanted to assume that Sungchan was simply being a fiercely loyal friend, hopefully to that one upperclassman in the med school, Jungwoo (Jeno only knows about him because Jaemin mentioned him in passing), but no! Sungchan sauntered out of the building, you on his arm wearing loose black pants and a number 27 jersey – probably one of Sungchan’s backups, which is technically against the rules (!). Players are not allowed to give out their jerseys … during game season. Off season is fine, but not during. It is the only rule Mark agreed to so quickly, solely because it is practical. They are all college students, and only have so much free time, especially with the way Jeno wants to get everyone in shape; therefore, laundry days are limited, meaning that their jerseys are limited.

So, Jeno totally protested! … Silently, of course – biting his lip, taking out his anger via extra tight grip on the steering wheel, just left of the horn, almost sounding the alarm. Like, fucking hell, if his day could get any worse, he thought.

Except, apparently, you got dumped, or stood up, or whatever – he was not particularly paying attention – before heading out to some rare house party around Anam. But, like, see; This is why Jeno cannot stand your personality (overbearing priss): you are still going to that party, braving face, even though something devastating happened. So fucking concerned with public appearances, and for what? People date the wrong person! It happens! Your ego cannot be that ginormous. And come to think of it, he has never even seen you alone. You are always with someone: your coach, another skater; Sungchan; some guy who you probably met on Tinder, etc. He has never even seen you standing awkwardly in line at the on-campus coffee place between classes, staring at your phone just to look busy – not that he does it … often. Sometimes he will carry a playbook or annotate his geometry notes while waiting.

Still, Jeno let it slide (not without an eyeroll thought); he let all of it slide, saying nothing, just to get to practice faster, and get you out of his backseat faster. He glanced at you in the rear-view mirror a couple of times, briefly, during the short trip, just to verify that you are, in fact, upset, or, at least, displaying some human emotion other than the contempt he has become accustomed to over the last two years. And you were, kinda sad. So, if his gazes started to soften, that was between him and God. Although, to really keep up his appearance, he made you walk to the party from the rink, claiming that it is literally a less-than-ten-minute walk and the sun had not even set yet, much to your disdain. Sungchan protested for you, obviously caught in the middle like a child of divorce, but you relented, knowing, along with Jeno, that you cannot really complain because he did give you a ride, when he was in a position to abandon you on the side of the road. You only took, maybe, three steps before Sungchan ran after you, claiming that practice did not start for another half hour at least, once again reversing the roles and leaving Jeno alone.

Honestly, Jeno thinks as he sits in his car, head pressed against the steering wheel, a once-again-empty carpark in front of him, he feels abandoned. Stupid Mark and ending the Cross Fire drills early. Just because “it’s a Saturday night” and “Everyone deserves a time to rest”. Hockey is the rest! That is his stress relief!

Ugh!

Jeno considers going back inside for some solo practices – he could even try the ones that he assigned Yangyang, just to make sure those drills are effective for any skill level, as a precaution, on the off-chance that someone else starts solo practicing as well (the team really needs them; it’s just hard because everyone had different majors and other commitments). But Jeno recently showered and changed into his favorite shirt – the sweater-like one with thick black stripes and white stripes, and skinny black and purple stripes across the white stripes. He paired it with some black joggers and silver accessories, a chain connecting a belt loop to his wallet. The outfit is cozy enough for him to fall asleep in, so he could, alternatively, head home for the evening. But his apartment acts like a revolving door for both him and his roommate, Jaemin, his earliest childhood friend from all the way back in elementary school (along with Haechan, but he lives on-campus still). Jaemin inconveniently joined a study group for the MEET (medicine major entrance exam) though, hence why there is no number 42 (Jaemin’s jersey number) on SNU’s current hockey lineup. He said something about the sport being too time consuming for his major, and he prefers to sleep, if he gets the chance. Unfortunately, Jeno needs his emotional support attachment doll right now – to either vent or to spot him at the gym, the one on-campus is open 24-hours, mostly for the Olympian athletes but they have a healthier sleep schedule, so they use it at normal functioning people hours (a.k.a. daytime). Jeno can only really lean on Jaemin right now, because Renjun (a friend from high school; the latest addition to their friend group) is utterly obsessed with some student in Kun’s class; Mark is eternally busy with a thousand other commitments; going to Sungchan seems like a sort of treason – to what? To whom? Against himself? Jeno cannot answer for certain. And so he bangs his head on the steering wheel center (thank God that he inadvertently had the foresight to not turn on the ignition yet, otherwise the carpark would basically hear one elongated, yet comical, alarm scream). Maybe he just needs to befriend more people, particularly people outside his team and (high school) graduating cohort. Well, he received the foresight to learn about the party on Anam, so he could make friends there, and being semi-popular, he might already know a person or two there (besides you, of course), allowing himself to ease into the setting more gracefully.

Jeno groans again, hitting his head successively on the horn a few times. Jaemin did tell him to go out more. But, Jeno reminds himself, slowly sitting up, tilting his head to the side, he is, technically, outside right now. He just … would not be as alone if he went to the party, a party. Then, he groans again, erecting his spine against the chair, hair thumping on the headrest. He doesn’t even know why he debates himself. People must be meeting up right now – literally anywhere other than a stupid house party! No one even throws house parties! And in a city that, essentially, never sleeps? In Seoul? Yeah, right. Plus, it is the weekend, party time!

Jeno digs through his pants until finding his phone. It feels colder than the ice rink, even the bright, 96%-charged screen cannot warm his hands, or the car. First, he opens Twitter, scrolling through his main account with random follows, but his DMs, mentions, and timeline suggest something else going on. Everyone is either coupled up, depressingly pining, or just staying in. It forces him to close the app without bothering to switch accounts (the other would tell the same story, only unfiltered), a deep sigh erupting from his diaphragm, through his nose. He tries Instagram next, tapping through stories, public and private, like rejections on Tinder – not that he has it. Jeno refuses to download the stupid app, no matter what Mark’s equally stupid intro psych class says (Mark isn’t even a psych major!). But all his friends seem to be eating out, doing karaoke, studying, etc., in small groups. Like, Jeno knows that house parties are usually saved for special occasions: moving into a new place, national holiday celebrations, Chuseok, etc., but it offers more control than, like, some random 1-hour coffee thing. And all the clubbing invites are such a turn off because it sounds so sweaty, and, again, he just took a shower. Ugh, all the people who come to mind are diving into Seoul’s night life. Annoying.

Jeno grumbles something incoherently and does not have the faintest idea what the sound could, should, or would have been. Practice was absolute hell on his voice, yelling over skates scratching new ice chips to the surface and carbon fiber sticks hitting steel posts. He rubs his neck between his thumb and index finger, rolling his head around his shoulders. Yanno, alcohol is in medicine, so, he thinks hesitantly, a bottle of soju will help.  (no, it won’t).

Hongjoong’s entire party cheers for Jeno when he walks through the foyer, showing off a bottle of sansachun like the trophy he wants so bad, in one hand, above his head, and a 12-pack box of soju by his thigh in the other hand. Jeno inhales shakily, breath hitching at his thin smile, ego slightly boosted but … disappointing. And after the applause dies down, he tries to find comfort in something familiar, looking for anyone recognizable. But everyone turned around just as quickly as they looked up. Well, everyone except you. Your outfit is different from earlier – a new, black skirt, a short skirt, not covering your legs; a tight, quarter-sleeved crop top; and a pair of maroon Converse, making him realize how much you rely on ice skates to elevate you (and your narcissism). He only spotted you first, in the crowd, because you were part of the scarce few facing him and you rolled your eyes to Yeeun beside you, most likely about him, muttering snidely (as expected of a shrew), but he could not discern it, as you said it into your red solo cup. And since Yeeun is a friend to the both of you, Jeno takes a step to defend himself, his socks slipping on the glazed wooden floor.

Juyeon, a basketball player and fellow winter sports mate, thankfully catches Jeno by the arm.

“Hey, man,” Juyeon waves, slowly releasing. He moves two hands between them, gesturing to take the alcohol into the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Jeno comments, voice low and strained, “again.” He rubs his Adam’s apple into his larynx, for some relief on his vocal cords. The motion generates a yawn, which does release some tension, just not enough, so he gives it one more go, then points at a near by table with bright neon colors. “What is all that for?”

Juyeon glances over his shoulder. Hongjoong, ever the art major, displayed pretty glowsticks, uncracked right now, alongside jelly bracelets and gel pens under a crumpled piece of construction paper too far away for either blind boy to read without their glasses. “Uhh,” he hesitates, then snaps his fingers loudly, a few people (you included) looking around for the source of the sound. You accidentally make eye contact with Jeno and glare at him, to which he rolls his eyes at. He almost returns to Juyeon when he catches sight of the blue bracelet peeking out of your sleeve. “Those,” Juyeon interrupts, “are for some game.” He lifts his wrist up, shifting all the bottles on his waist, to show off his own red bracelet. “You pick a color, and if someone steals it, you gotta do that action. Like, if Gahyeon stole mine, I’d have to give her a kiss.”

“On the lips?” Jeno asks for clarification. The rules seem vague.

Juyeon pauses and tilts his head to the side, squinting his eyes a bit. “No, I don’t think so. The party is based on consent.” Then he shakes his head. “I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to kissing her, but if I didn’t want to, I guess I’d just kiss her cheek or hand or do a body shot off her stomach again.”

“Again?” Jeno raises an eyebrow.

Juyeon playfully shoves him at the chest, shuffling the bottles as they lose balance on his hip. He almost loses them to the floor, so he moves them into the kitchen while Jeno is still giggling. Then, after Juyeon leaves a lonely hockey player, Jeno walks around to the table with all the stuff on it and reads the note that neither Juyeon nor he could see from six feet away, without their glasses:

Entrance fee: write your name on a slip and place it in a jar! Two names will be called every hour for 7 Minutes in Heaven. The only rule (besides be a decent human being) is don’t fuck in my closet. Thanks.

He scribbles his name in a tiny font, hoping that if he writes illegibly, then Hongjoong would not be able to read it out loud in front of everyone. There are also about a hundred names, give or take a few, so realistically, he has, like, no chance of actually being called, hence why he is more inclined to drop his name in the jar than, say, the Swear Jar that Haechan installed at practice. Still though, he flicks it in before reading the list of acts associated with each jelly bracelet color:

Pick up one jelly bracelet to play!

Red – a kiss

Pink – flashing (a body part)

Yellow – a hug

Green – oral

Blue – spanking

Purple – a hickey

Black – sex

Rules:

Steal someone’s bracelet to “get” their prize.

If you don’t want to give them your prize, then stand on a table and make out with your hand for 30 seconds, make sure the people are watching.

You gotta be clean to play. All rule breakers will be immediately blacklisted from any future activities.

Jeno thumbs at a black jelly braclet, pondering that last sentence.

During second semester freshman year, there was a chlamydia outbreak in one of the dorms. Basically the entire floor got it. So, like, totally fair statement. Especially since Jaemin caught, too, and was majorly pissed about the antibiotics – doxycycline, which he ended up forgetting to take a dose of, twice, and gave him a raging headache right before a stats exam. Probably another reason why Jaemin is taking a break from the dating scene (in addition to the biochem incident). Jeno remembers that he almost mistook one of the pills for mint gum until Jaemin quite literally smacked it out of his hand, then ate it off the floor (five second rule). And maybe he has a thing for spanking because he chooses a blue bracelet as well.

Slowly, Jeno starts adjusting to the party, his fingers no longer twitching at his phone. He puts his hands above his hips, thinking back to what he was going to do before Juyeon explained the party’s general rules. It looks like other people are just talking, scrolling through Tinder, mixing drinks – being casual. Rooms overflow with people leaning on doorframes, trying to relax vertically since all the horizontal places are taken – the couches, the floor pillows, the bedrooms (probably). Jeno scans his eyes further into the living, searching for someone familiar, then he spots you and Yeeun. Well, you first. He noticed that he always does this: sees you before you see him, and it turns into this whole thing.

You roll your eyes after catching him in the act and put a hand on Yeeun’s arm, loudly whispering as Jeno walks over, “I’m going to talk to Noze. The company around her might be more …” you trail off, intentionally looking Jeno up and down while Yeeun stares at you expectantly, oblivious to his presence. “Tolerable. Bye.”

Yeeun waves you goodbye as well, frowning, lines creasing between her eyebrows, until she spots the your object of … affection. “Oh, hey,” she greets him, a quick kiss on the cheek like a cool aunt, as he leans down to meet her. “I didn’t expect to see you here. How’d you even hear about the party?”

Jeno raises an eyebrow, gesturing to half the room. The population so clearly indicates that the party is not so exclusive. “It looks like half the engineering building heard about the party.” He also nods his head at the revolving door leading into the kitchen. But he knows what she means. Jeno is not the type to go out, much less the type to go to parties. He really only attends post-hockey celebrations or the rare team icebreakers that Mark plans; you know, stuff involving the other players. Jaemin occasionally invites him to a bottoms-up with his lab classmates, but Jeno never says yes to that. He doesn’t like the crowds or not knowing everyone. “There’s like a thousand people here.”

“Ha!” Yeeun laughs at his hyperbole, passing her poktanju to him. “No, it’s gotta be 40 to 50 at most, and you can thank Hongjoong’s roommate for that.” Jeno nods, agreeing, sounds like Seonghwa. “No, but!” Yeeun slaps Jeno’s arm.

“Ow!” Jeno steps back, rubbing his bicep. “You didn’t steal my bracelet; you can’t hit me.”

Yeeun rolls her eyes – he is getting that response a lot tonight. First, you in his own fucking car; then Haechan at practice; then Juyeon; and now his best noona (don’t tell his actual sister)? Wow.

“No, not that,” she says, staring him down, knitting her eyebrows at him, wiping her hand on her pants now, mock disgusted. “And gross by the way. You’re like my little brother.” She takes her drink back and downs another shot. “No, I meant that I thought you had practice tonight. You still haven’t told me what the hell you’re doing here.”

“I heard about it,” Jeno reinforces.

“You said that. Who’d you hear it from?”

“In passing,” Jeno shrugs. But Yeeun smacks him again, and harder, splashing her beer a bit on his sleeve. “Okay, okay. I heard it from Sungchan. Alright, damn.”

“The tall kid?”

“Eung,” Jeno confirms, voice low, distracted while he wipes his wrist drier. “Yeah, the new kid, number 27 on the hockey team.”

“Oh,” Yeeun says slowly, eyes wide, sipping her drink deeply. “But he’s not,” she hesitates, stuttering, “your dongsaeng, right?” They come to the same conclusion – that he shares yet another person with the one he hates most.

“No,” Jeno answers, “but he – Sungchan – is on my team,” he reinforces. And suddenly, he needs that medicinal shot of alcohol to treat his recurring symptoms in the form of a headache now. “So, I heard it from him. Whatever.” He looks above Yeeun’s head, which is not hard to do with the, like, 15-centimeter difference. “Where did Juyeon put the alcohol?”

Yeeun absentmindedly points to the left, her own drink in hand. “I think Hongjoong told him to put it on the island in the kitchen. You’ll see it when you get in there.” Jeno watches her wave at a girl with black hair, already knowing that she is about to leave him, but hey, this time, he has something to do: get alcohol. “Go –“ She pushes him toward the drinks. “– find yourself something to drink. I’ll meet up with you again later.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he waves her off, then hugs her and walks off.

Halfway before he even gets to the door, Jeno bumps his shoulder into yours, and yet another drink spills onto his favorite shirt.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” both of you whisper at each other, the anger radiating far enough to briefly turn some heads.

“Let me pass, Lee,” you bite, suddenly closed off in the narrow hallway; people standing against the opposite wall just talking to each other or behind you, waiting for the bathroom or another drink, or the next best thing.

You have the same look in your eyes as when Jeno first met you. It took a few more meetings, after that one, until he was able to name it: contempt, maybe even irritation, or disrespect. However, unlike now, he was unable to discern why he had been so deserving of your precious scorn; all he did was show up to practice! This time though, Jeno concedes that it was partially his fault. He was weaving between couples and trios, trying not to hit anyone on his way to alcohol; he barely had any in his system, to be so wobbly on his feet, like a drunkard, but he walked too close to the drywall and bounced off it, in an attempt to avoid two people making out, then he hit you right in the shoulder, your arm carrying a shot glass filled to the brim (you would get dinged in a chem lab, Jeno thinks, not that he has taken chemistry recently; he mostly listens to all the ways Jaemin kept failing the lab safety quiz). You spilled peach soju on his wrist and the edge of his shirt, forcing him to lift it enough to show off his sharp v-line, his transversus abdominis, that gets cut off by his pants tied above his waist, rather than at his waist – a tease, honestly.

Jeno’s arm jerks backward, responsively, to force some space away from everyone, mostly you, but your watch snagged on the fabric, pinching the draw string tightened around his hips, wrapping you closer the more that Jeno tries to detangle himself. He takes a step to the wall, shoulders alert, feeling for the rough material until he falls against it. Your waist slumps against his as he drags you with him, and you grumble, ugh, holding out a second while people pass behind you, pushing past you away from the kitchen. Jeno presses your hips down, your feet coming to the ground, his hands resting more on your butt than your lower back, almost like a trap. The hallway is too narrow for this many people, Jeno thinks, wishing that Hongjoong had the sense to either limit how many students could attend or limit Seonghwa’s invites. Although, he probably would not have been able to attend had any of those two events occurred. And his hands tighten with the thought, locking you between his arms. He can feel you stare at him, blocking out the crowd that he watches equally intently.

Once the hallway is empty (or, at least, emptier), you put a hand on Jeno’s pelvis, where your wrist is stuck, and another on his chest, then pump your arm to break free. It fails, the first time, so you use the momentum to crash on his body again and push yourself off. The loud sound creates an asymptotic barrier. On one side, you sigh a heavy relief, touching your bare wrist. On the other, Jeno pats himself down, touching his front muscles down to his belt, where your hands previously were. He almost mirrored your sigh, but then, he found a silicone bracelet, broken, in his shirt folds. It was easy to find, the red color contrasting against his stripes. He is surprised to find it at all, honestly, thumbing it against his long fingers.  You did not push him that hard, certainly not enough to give him, of all people, your bracelet. And it looks like he mistook your color, too; this one, even in the poorly illuminated hallway, is red, a kiss. Would you even give him that so easily?

Jeno looks up at you, from his hands, dangling the thin material delicately, and half-smirks, hoping that he won’t falter. “Looks like you owe me something.”

You roll your eyes. One more time, Jeno thinks, and your face will get stuck like that; you might even go blind. “Kiss my ass.”

“And here I thought you wanted to leave,” Jeno retorts. You suck in a breath, thinning your lips, releasing all the tension through your toes, tapping your heel-less shoes into the ground. He exhales oppositely, exaggeratingly, tone sharp. “You had the privilege of feeling my hands on your body for the last minute, and you still want more?” He whistles lowly and says, “Damn,” appreciatively.

“Just give me back my bracelet, ass.”

“And,” Jeno ignores your interjection, “if anyone knows about privilege, it’s you.”

“Ha-ha,” you assert blatantly, fists and arms tense at your sides, coming lower than your skirt. “At least I’m not a Daechi-dong, dong head,” you spit back. And he crinkles his nose at your attempt to call him a dick. “You’re the one who is barely captain because of nepotism. Or did you make everyone forget with your military drills?”

“Oh really?” Jeno nods his heads sarcastically. “Imagine being a top skater,” he taunts back, “because your coach gets paid to elevate you!”

“At least I am a top skater,” you seethe, purposefully quieting your voice as people start looking away. Your hiss comes out as if telling him to shut up, which he, obviously, takes offence to.

“I would never have guessed,” Jeno scoffs, continuing with a powerful voice. “Sounds like a lie. God knows you’ve never even been on the fucking ice.”

“Because you steal it every fucking day!” You point a finger at him. “What’s it like to constantly work toward playmaker and fail every time?”

“Funny, coming from someone who recently got demoted.”

You slap him.

Jeno stares at you incredulously, jaw clenched. His mouth feels sticky, dry, tongue weighing heavy and raw, and his throat feels hoarse all over again, more agitated now as his neck heats up, just from looking at you. And his voice had already been sore from practice, barely letting out few phrases to his friends. But with you, he becomes compelled to say everything. He opens his mouth to verbally strike back.

“Jeno!”

Hongjoong’s voice rings loud and clear at the end of the hallway. Everyone rotates toward the announcement. At the sight of the host squinting to better read the tiny handwriting, Jeno suddenly remembers the game he entered: 7 Minutes in Heaven. His body stiffens, straightening against the wall, stomach sucking in to pull further from you, though your hand comes to his forearm, dizzily, your body having been alarmed by the declaration.

Then, Hongjoong calls your name, too.

“Fuck,” you and Jeno whisper.

Hongjoong pushes Jeno into the closet first, followed by Chaeyoung pushing you, into Jeno’s arms. As soon as the door closes, you shove him against the opposite wall and tug the pull chain light switch on. Jeno blinks at the yellow glow, rubbing his eyes as a result of the brightness change. He looks around first, completely neglecting you so that the time goes faster. None of the clothes, he notices, belong to any party goer, because they are neatly hung, organized from red to indigo, beige fabrics on the end; who ever shed their jacket did so in Hongjoong’s equally tidy bedroom. Aside from the jackets, there is really nothing else, maybe a few boxes underneath an empty shelf, but naught to distract him from how hot the inside of this closet is.

Jeno looks you up and down again, eyes glossing over the outfit he already inspected so he stays on your face. You spun the moment you fell inside, looking away from him, jawline prominent as your lips tightened, frowning. “Nothing to say without an audience?” he asks bitterly, then laughs dryly.

“What more is there to say?” you comeback, quietly, defeated. He wonders if you mean it rhetorically, because … “You got the last word.” He meets your eye, leaning further on his right side. “This time.”

Jeno stands on his two feet, challenging you to a staring competition now, straight on. It is hard not to see every emotion written on your face; the lighting is not on your side. Something in your voice, too, has him on edge, like you have more to say. He opens his mouth to speak again, but you beat him to it, inhaling sharply and talking slowly:

“And you’re the one who likes the attention.”

“Yeah?” he scoffs. Ridiculous. “You were a soloist, –” He collaborates, to this day. “– and now you’re malicious to anyone and everyone, just because you have to work on a team.”

“Why do you think that happened in the first place?! I’m not the one who hogged the rink so much that none of the other skating teams could practice!” You put your hand on your mouth, trying to physically calm yourself down. The next words out of your mouth come in a whisper, “I’m not the one who started shouting during a party. Couldn’t keep the hatred in, even for a second?”

Jeno takes a step toward you, an instinctive comforting move that he would do for his friends without a thought. The closet seemed so much smaller on the outside and so cold where he stands. How are you still six feet away? Does anger heat up your side? Would anything change if he treads nearer? Jeno tests the waters, adding another step toward you – one foot down, four to go. And you take note of him; he is being too obvious, but you say nothing. Jeno cannot read you very well while you are far away, so when he finally reaches you, when he leans over you, all intimidation vacant from his eyes, you narrow your gaze, less like a glare, he thinks, more … curious, scrutinizing. Anyone outside might have thought that you offended him, or, maybe even, vice versa, especially as he presses you against the wall, your head slowly knocking into the wall. His hand comes to your waist again, and you stutter a breath, making him falter as well, his hand slipping on your ass.

“Can I kiss you?” Jeno asks, though he breathes heatedly, quietly.

Your eyes stumble to his nose, and next his lips, taking in the downward bent – his gaze has never left your eyes though, permanently glued to how you perceive, anticipating your answer, because, after all, he did possess your red bracelet.

“For a,” you start, then gradually speed up, “Daechi-dong, you sure are slow.” You bring him in for a kiss, swiping his pink bottom lip to undermine his stature. His jaw drops open and his knees weaken, allowing you to push him against the wall, pressing your tongue on the center of his, saliva tasting void of alcohol.  You put an arm on the wall, caging him into the closet, like an anime love interest. “This changes nothing, by the way,” you inform him, as he cradles your hips. “I’m still me, even if I’m kissing you.”

“Obviously.” Jeno rolls his eyes. He rolls your head against the wall, knotting the crown of your hair in the process, reversing your positions. Your eye lids wilt as he leans in, tilting his head to the side for deeper access, and your fists loosen, sneaking around his belt loops, bringing his body closer. The atmosphere brings an alcoholic blush across his nose, definitely not the way you turn his hips, as if trying to guide his head, lips, and tongue. He retreats just a little bit, ultimately coming back after he finds another unexplored part in your mouth. Everything is all mouth – you never smack your lips on his; he never closes his lips over yours; there is no pecking. Jeno senses the corners of your mouth, stopping his body from moving while you tongue circles on his tip. You pull back after a few swirls, starting to drool – Jeno can feel it, so he nibbles on your bottom lip, gnawing the top half lightly, getting rougher and rougher the more you enable him. Until he stops. “I’m still pissed off though,” he lets you know, reverting to your conversation.

“Obviously,” you repeat, equally mad.

The pressure builds up in Jeno’s cheekbones the more time passes without your face attached to his, and he takes the moment to soften at your features, asking them why you are so heated at the sight of him. When he finds no answer, he implores your mouth, pecking pillowy lips on yours, jerking your head like a joystick. His lips drag you to the tips of your toes, bringing your pelvis against his; his long fingers outline the sides of your face, sketching around your ears; his thumb drags along your cheek to your jawline, tilting your face as he opens his mouth, preparing to suction on your mouth.

Knock, knock, knock.

Jeno feels your torso tense and your hands come to his pectoral muscles again. You push him away and pull your limbs back to your body, shutting down with a low strike on the wall. It definitely sounds like you slapped him again.

“If you two are hate fucking in my closet, I’m kicking you out,” Hongjoong says from behind the door.

“As if,” Jeno croaks, voice still low and hoarse because he has not drunk water in the two hours since practice ended. He dives through the crowd, emerging first.

All eyes are on him, and he knows that they think you two sat in silence, simmering angrily. He likely looks angry too, face warm and red, the vein in his neck throbbing, chin jutted out as he looks for someone else, a real friend. They might think you offended him with the way you just stand in the closet (he didn’t hear you walk away), yet no one says anything. He can only imagine what they think – your baby hairs float off your face; your lips caught in your mouth, trying to hide the bruising; eyes darting from him to them to your hands. Jeno shakes his head. He has to get out of here.

But you chase him – everyone thinking that it is to apologize.

You catch Jeno outside, in front of his deep red car, and tug on his arm.

“Why are you leaving?”

Jeno shrugs you off and opens the car door, leaning between it and the rest of the car, standing tall. It barricades you from him. “Because I know how you are.” You tilt your head to the side. He wonders if you know how easy to read your face is. “You are so caught up in appearances. Why would I ruin that over some stupid game?”

You nod slowly, absorbing his explanation, eyes darting around his silhouette, trying to focus on everything behind him. He even glances back but sees nothing, just rows of cars lining up the sidewalk. Not a single person leaving the party right now either, probably because house parties are so rare; movies and books make them seem like common occurrences, so people want to cling to them before they go away. But Jeno is not always right. And another group of people exit the party, walking down hill to their car, laughing loudly enough to alert you two. You shove Jeno in the driver’s seat, hovering above him as he adjusts to the leather chair.

“What the fuck did you do that for?” he asks, rubbing behind his neck.

You yank the lever that forces the seat toward the back and sit on your knees, between his legs, looking at him through your eyelashes. “There were people outside,” you say as if it were obvious, lifting your hands into the air then smacking them back on your bare thighs.

“You –“ Jeno begins incredulously, tightly. “You cannot be serious.”

“You’re the one who said that I care so much about appearances! So what if it’s true?”

The lights turn off in his car, and instantaneously, the atmosphere reminisces Hongjoong’s closet. Jeno searches for your face, relying on a streetlight to see, not wanting to feel around for you. He puts a hand over the door, searching for the handle, but he catches his pretty wrist in the moonlight, sans blue bracelet. Jeno brings his arm between you two, closer to his chest though, inspecting the nakedness. Where the hell did his bracelet go? Surely, if someone stole it at the party, he would’ve heard something. Everyone is practically preening for the chance to steal a bracelet. He pats his chest down again, hoping that he could find it the same way that he found yours – in the folds of his shirt. But you, who gathered where his thoughts were, felt along the ground and found it by his foot. Jeno stares at how you hold it up curiously.

“What?” he exclaims sarcastically. “Are you going to slap me again?”

You laugh dryly but your voice trails distantly. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

“As expected.” Jeno rolls his eyes, ultimately returning to your face, just to see the nosy expression take over again. “You don’t really know anything about me.”

“Bullshit,” you counter, rising on your knees. You loose balance easily, trying not to step on his toes, literally, and he catches you, again, by the hands this time, putting them on his thighs. He swears that a thankful smile cracks your façade, but it disappears in the same second. Your hands are the only reminders that you are arguing with him, pushing hard and hot into his muscles, like a terrible massage. He cracks for a second, whimpering in pain, and you alleviate it a little bit, only ghosting your touch on his pants, no longer leaning. “I know so fucking much about you, Lee.”

“Oh yeah?” he taunts. “What’s my first name?”

You crawl over him, placing a hand on the chair, under his thigh, moving the other behind his shoulder to hover on of him. He watches you, only able to move his chin with you, lips following yours. You lean down to his ear, hiding your face, making him doubt, a little bit, that you are the real person whispering, “Jeno”. He creeps his hands on the edge of your skirt, yanking it lightly as a signal to bring you forward, which you do, staring deeply in his eyes. “I know that you started hockey after all your friends, so now you stay later than them on the rink.” You trail your lower hand up his thigh, under his top sweatshirt, haunting around his defined muscles. “I know that you did your freshman honors thesis on hockey pucks and friction.” Jeno grabs your waist harder at the innuendo, accidentally pulling you into straddling his leg, and you yelp, falling into his chest. You straighten up quickly, trying to find a position comfortable enough to look at him, to tease him. In the midst of it all, you confess, “I know that you are more than hockey, and you’re infuriatingly good at other things, like –“

Jeno swallows a groan.

“– math and drawing.” You smirk. “Did I say something to make you mad?” you ask, faux-innocently. “Did you know I could do that?” You lean into his ear, twirling a strand of hair behind his ear. “Do you even know anything about me?” Jeno nods; of course, he does – no one spends all the energy he has on this … this rivalry, to come out with nothing. You lean away, slowly, dropping back on your knees, on the floor, and rub the inside of his manspread thighs. “Can you tell me one thing? I gave you three.”

“I know that –“ Jeno swallows, not sure if he wants to tell about an intimate moment he once witnessed, but you look at him with expectant eyes crinkling with innocence, even if that innocence might be hidden behind sensuality. “– during competition season, in the quietest moments between performances, you disobey your expensive coach’s direct orders –“ He throws the nepotism back in your face, alleviating the familiarity that neither of you should be sharing. “– and sit in an empty rink, eating a strawberry McFlurry.” The silence after is deafening, bringing back that ringing sound he heard after practice in place of his teammates, so he adds, “I don’t know what you think about,” but he can guess. It is probably the same thing that he thinks about before games – less about the plays, about the potential for losing, more about being on the ice, how fun everything is, despite the misery that comes from losing.

Jeno locks eyes with you, wondering if he finally found a common ground. Your hands, and eyes, responsively drop to his ankles, fiddling the hems. He starts to consider … that he went too far … again, and he exhales, collapsing further into the cold leather chair, scooting away from you. It’s not like he has Jaemin’s boy-next-door-charm, or Renjun’s suavity; and he is certainly not as approachable as Yangyang. He can never get it just right, find that perfect balance. You always fly off the handle with him, and he has the hardest time even talking to you. Nothing he says is ever the correct thing.

“Can I kiss you?”

Oh. Maybe being vulnerable was a good thing, though his body is still humming as if angry.

“Ye-yeah,” Jeno answers, after a second, his voice rasping moreover. He goes to you, angling his whole chest, but you stop him, a hand just to the right of his heart, almost like missing the point completely, which he does, in this case, tilting his head to the side, a frown settling in.

“Not on the lips.”

Jeno examines your face, searching, first, for malice, last for answers. You have a tint of rivalry glowing across your cheeks, obscured by mischief.

“Hold this.” You hand him the edge of his shirt, and he accepts, wordlessly, bunching it high enough to show off all his abs – a smart choice, given the way you pause to admire each defined muscle band.

Jeno twists his wrist, during the quiet, readjusting the material, but as he does, it rubs on his hardening nipples – which are not the only thing hardening. You travel your hand up his chest, starting from the top half of his v-line, ending under his nipples, under his shirt. His knee spasms, motioning for you to start whatever you were going to do, hoping that you might put your mouth south. But you take your opposite hand and cradle his face, making him look up at you, his eyes seeming wider – innocent, less resentful than you are known to see, no taunts or mean names on his tongue. Although, another breathless statement about God might hang in there. You scratch your nails along his cheek, simultaneously leaning down on the other side of his face, to his ear.

“Not right there,” you instruct, then move the frayed end into his mouth, the rest of the shirt gathering under his pecs like a bra. You trail down his neck to his hand, where he holds his two shirts, then unwind his tight grip. He lets the material unravel, mouth parting smally with it too, just like you want. You draw his bottom lip open and hang the shirt on his teeth. He nods consensually biting into the material, expecting you to actually tease his muscles this time, but you only guide his mouth to a close.

Then your icy fingers curl under his belt line, and he whines.

“Why – hnng,” Jeno starts, finishing with a tremble, silenced.

That is when he understands: you want to gag him. Not completely, to the point where he is void of response, but enough to prevent him from saying anything completely; though, he could reject you right now, at any point, if he didn’t want your touch. Jeno stares at you, on your knees, fingers paused from sliding his pants all the way off. Neither of you have ever made this much eye contact, and he … he just wants to keep watching you. Have you always been this passionate?

“Keep that there for me, okay?” you ask, implicitly talking about consent over the boundary you are about to cross.

Jeno nods smally, not wanting to drop his shirt or wet it so disgustingly.

You tease a finger through his underwear, where his cock would normally peek from, using the space to prod him out the waistband. He nudges you, needily, trapping your palm between the tops of his thighs, all the muscles there pulsing faster than his currently erratic heart. You give him an impatient look, wagging your head, tsk, tsk. It makes him curl his chin to his chest, sheepish, like he did something wrong, and he shakes his hair, too, curtaining his blushed face behind his long, black bangs. Jeno feels you gently pull him out of his headspace, figuratively and literally. You strip his bottoms all the way to his ankles, careful not to touch his dick, even though he wants you to, so badly. When you straighten your back up, brushing your tits on his knees, resting them perkily above him, you stare at his dick, just for a moment, head tilted to the side. He almost ruins it, tongue poking his clothes away to ask if you want to stop, but you kiss the underside of his penis head – only once, waiting for his reaction, and he gives it to you, of course. The weightless smack from your lips tickles, and he wonders if you actually did it. Then you do it again, and again, and again. Kisses turn into flicks, all on the underside, building up more saliva as you curl the dorsal side, flicking it easily.

Hnng. You are a figure skater, Jeno remembers. Being graceful is in the definition. It is why your insults always have such a clean cut and give him an opening to respond. He usually gets the last word. But this is a different kind of graceful, where you are gentle with him – asking for consent, touching him delicately, making sure that he is okay every step of the way.

When you are ready, you slowly creep your lips over his cock head and retreat, backing off along with the heat from your mouth. Jeno can feel his dick follow you in anticipating, trembling the longer you study him, and he moans brokenly: please. It comes out incoherent and muffled. You relax your jaw lowly, letting your tongue slide outside your lips to cover your bottom row of teeth as you swallow a portion of the top. His cock bounces in your mouth, slapping around your small mouth. He clenches his fist by his thighs, not knowing where to put them. You circle your index finger and thumb halfway down his shaft, jacking him off along one of the veins that come above his balls. He wonders if you want him to give you a facial, especially after you come up, rubbing it long your innocent looking cheek, but a hand comes above his balls, stopping him from cumming. And he groans, throwing his head back again. Maybe you’ll suck the cum out of him, like a well-blended smoothie through a straw.

Jeno drops his shirt out of his mouth, covering his abs once again. The groan reverses onto your throat – he guesses that you don’t like the cover. You muffle the whine with his dick in your mouth again, the sound constricting all the way around him. Jeno grabs a hold of your throat, nicely, feeling how your esophagus adjusts for him.

“Oh, God, oh fuck,” he whispers, abs tightening shakily. He gains some control after you begin a steady bobbing, using your salvatory ducts to prevent from gagging. You curve your tongue at the back of your throat, feeding his dick against it. The feel is no different from deep throating, if Jeno is being honest, but your tongue is much more pillowy and your cheeks suck in air, pulling them tightly over your teeth, giving him a vacuum suction that reminisces a really good fleshlight and would need a lot of practice to get as right as you do. “Is that what those practices are?” he asks you. “A chance to practice for my dick?”

Jeno cups your cheek and pulls his dick out of your throat, like giving you a chance to answer. But before you can, he taps his cock on your tongue again, just the tip, rasping the underside of his head on your reflexively curled tongue, which appears half-prepared to answer his question, half-prepared to get throat fucked.

“Uh, uh, uh,” he drags out. His hand comes into your hair, scratching along your temple to tuck those pretty little strands behind your ears; his thumbs briefly emerge through the top, then hide, again, in the tangled ponytail. You perform faster, ruining his illusion of control, and he clutches your hair tighter, holding you in place to stop from cumming. He pants through his nose, and you give him a short rest until bringing both your hands along his exposed cock, twisting them in opposite directions while your tongue remains steady under his twitching tip. “Ah,” he pleads, trying not to come. He sits up fully, knees almost going with him, had it not been for your strong chest, and you pull off, panting equally hard. And, fuck, your tits are sexy.

You stand up as much as you can in the cramped space, spine rubbing up the headlining as you put one foot forward then straddle him with the other leg. Jeno helps you adjust, bringing your cushiony thighs closer into his chest, just right under his pecs. He looks up at you, and you stop fidgeting, putting your hands on his shoulders for balance, teetering on your knees until you finally fall into him, your hair covering the both of you. You crane your neck down blowing on his earlobe first, then inside his ear. He grabs you harder, supporting your ass as you hold his throat in place, marking the area between his clavicle and right ear.

“Do you have a condom?” you whisper, slowly bending down, tracing the outline of your underwear with his tip – repeating the gesture over and over again, several times, until he answers.

Jeno’s head bobs – nods, yes – on your shoulder, but you mistake it for pleasure, grabbing him by the chin again, so he looks into your eyes and swallows. “Yeah,” he verbalizes, “in the glove compartment.”

You pull away from his chest, and he instinctively stabilizes your waist, possibly obsessed with it. Jeno accidentally grabs you too roughly, he thinks, situating you over his really big tip. You brace yourself on the center console, moaning loudly.  Your tits push into the leather so difficulty that they nearly pop out of your bra, which would not be too difficult. Jeno can see your strap falling down your upper arm. You shallowly bounce on him through your underwear. It feels so good, so wet, so disappointing because he wants to fill you up already. While he grinds his ass into the chair, flopping his cock over your clothed pussy, you reach over the passenger’s seat, which seems to be two metres away now, your arm reaching shakily. And finally, you pull out a condom, turning the golden wrapper around in the shallow light to find the front.

“A large?” you read, treating it like a question. You come back to him, sitting on his sculpted v-line, grinding your ass languidly into his cock standing tall behind you. “An extra large?” you squint at the foil, then raise a suspicious eyebrow.

Jeno pulls your thighs up to his chest and plucks the condom from your greedy little hands.

“You’ll need it,” he answers, tone implicitly asking you to trust him.

He tears the foil open and fingers around for the right side. It is difficult in the poorly illuminated street. So, he is thankful when you take over, repossessing the condom. You climb over his cock, sticking your ass out again, to get in a better position. Your hands are so pretty.

“Pinch the tip,” Jeno instructs breathily. “Yeah, fuck, like that.” He watches you catch his restless dick and fit the ring over his tip. You grab him hard, fingers not quite reaching all the way around. He isn’t sure if that is because his dick is so big or if your wrist is too loose. None of it matters, though, when you take both hands and roll the condom all the way down, not stopping until his voice is back to cracking, pushing out those ah, ah, ahs again. Jeno pulls you up again, forcing you to brace on his pecs. Both of you start stripping now. Jeno takes off your long-sleeve and tugs your tits out of your bra cups, leaving them supported by the push-up wire. He is tempted to suck them, staring at them, stunned; hands sculpting your sides, then jiggling your tits until your nipples harden more than his dick. You take your turn after he has his fun but before he mouths them. His shirts come off easier and you ignore his muscles, immediately rubbing your nipples over his. He wonders if you have ever been touched like this, touched here, but the thought is fleeting as you take off your panties, throwing the soaked material on his shirts. You situate on his thigh, muting any arguments that might arise, rubbing the newly naked skin together.

Jeno lets you grind on his thigh a few times, feeling the way your clit twists and turns. He flexes his muscles, all of them – his abs under your hands, his leg under your pussy, his arms under your body. Your grinds turn into bounces, so Jeno catches your ass, prying your legs open again, on either side of his hips. He pinches the inside of your thighs, fingers loosing their adhesion from all your self-lubrication, then pushes his index finger inside – his long, muscular finger with clean, polished nails. His thumb swipes back and forth on your clit, replacing his thigh to stimulate you. And you falter, shuddering, legs shaking a little bit next to his cock. You rest your head on his shoulder, giving him access to yours. He opens his mouth along your collarbone, suctioning the lightest hickeys then getting rid of them with forceful laps from his floppy wet tongue.

“You like that?” Jeno whispers as he pushes in two extra fingers. First, curls all three upward, cupping your clit with his palm, and you start grinding on it, waiting for more movement, but still needing to adjust to the drastic change in size. When you relax, sitting on his hand, Jeno flexes his hand back and forth, desperately manhandling your body to and from his. You stay still above him, arms tightening around his shoulders, muscles shaking; you try to respond yes, but he doesn’t hear it, trying a new tactic. “Does that feel good?” he asks. His fingers start moving in different directions, scissoring a whole new stretch. They scrape a new, high-pitched ah, aah, ah out your throat, the sound only elongating when his thumb stops swiping your clit to rub circles on it as trying to clamp his entire hand through your pussy. “Fuck, you sound so good. You’re doing so well.” Jeno grazes his teeth on your shoulder, tipping you over the edge, and you grip his dick harder, for some anchor on reality. Both of you moan, throwing your heads together, almost kissing. Your lips are so intimate with his, breathing hot air over his closed mouth. Jeno nudges you, brushing the tip of his nose on yours. “Are you ready?”

“Fuck,” you whisper, possibly wondering how the hell he can be so considerate. You lick a stripe on his cheek, at the corner of his mouth. “I’m not glass,” you reassure him, although sounding irritated. “You can’t be that big,” you answer, “Like, there is no way that I need to get prepped by so many fing –“

Jeno pulls out his fingers and slams his dick up your pussy in the same second. The both of you swear simultaneously, and your breath, specifically, becomes more winded, becomes faster, becomes shaky.  Jeno didn’t consider that he might need to adjust, his cock throbbing as if trying to stretch your circumference even wider.

“You – You were saying?” he stutters, then throws his head back on the headrest.

You teeter on your knees, outside his thighs, slowly and shallowly bouncing on him. He pushes the tops of your thighs until you rest on the cold steering wheel, turning it as you gain more momentum to ride his dick. You lead with your hips, swaying forward and back into his pelvis.

“Now I know where the ego comes from,” you bite – and literallybite his neck.

“I deserve it,” he retorts, pressing his feet into the ground, then slamming his hips into you a few times. The new adjustment displays your tits so beautifully, chest raised and propping out, so he leans down, suctioning sucking your warm skin from shoulder to areola. Your back locks on the steering wheel, changing the angle at which his cock hits your G-spot, and you moan loudly. In response, Jeno puts his thumb in your mouth, squashing your tongue, saliva pooling so quickly that you immediately close around it. You slump forward, grabbing at his veiny arm, fumbling around until one hand clamps on his wrist and the other over a vein. “You’re too loud,” he whispers, until you swirl your hips in small figure eights. His hand relaxes and he groans, throatily – to which you cover.

“Who’s being loud now?” you taunt. “Guess I’m that good, huh?”

Jeno cannot disagree. You feel so good, and tight, and warm. His hand drops between your bodies, allowing you to come back up again, then back down, then back up, and down, and up, and down, and up. You massage at a vein behind his ear with two fingers and suck on one of his nipples, occasionally biting the edges of his areola then licking bite mark healed. When you reach a hand underneath his, toying between your clit and the parts of his cock that become exposed, he gathers that you are trying to make him cum first.

“Why are you still competing with me?” he bites angrily. Jeno takes away your fingers and plays with your clit himself, tugging it through the lubrication. He massages it with big circles, going around your pussy lips, the bundle of nerves at the top of your clit, spreading the wetness everywhere. “Fuck, I’m stuffing you so full, huh?”

“Mmhmm,” you agree without thought, all words choking in your exposed throat as he blows your back out. “’m suh ‘ucking ‘ull,” you whimper, though the syllables break into petty gasps that he can barely string together. “Ah,” you whine sharply, squeezing your eyes shut until they pulse at an opposite rate to your vaginal walls. Then, Jeno finds another angle, moving his ass against the cold console (he yelps at it, hips driving upward, away from the box, and his cock buries itself in your guts), and your eyes pop open, along with your jaw. Every new pound coaches a sob off your lips.

Jeno, still utterly obsessed with your waist, digs his thumbs into the front of your pelvis, his long fingers massaging your ass as you come forward to match his thrusts. You fall forward again, hands bracing on the shoulders of the chair behind him, tits right in his face. Jeno pants heavily, breath lost with each release, but he still chooses to kiss you.

Well, your tits. He mouths at the skin around your nipples, kneading his lips into the plushy flesh as his abs lock and your thighs tighten.

“Oh, oh, oooh,” Jeno cries, his hips stuttering as your pussy clenches get smaller, firmer.

“C’mon, c’mon,” you whisper, “c’mon. Right there, Lee.” He pushes particularly hard, as if breaching another barrier. “Ah, Jeno.”

His name brings him back to attention, staring at the tension in your face. You stutter your hips, and he tries to still his, letting you build up to an orgasm. You manhandle his cock, jerking it around inside your body. Your glossy muscles start constricting tighter and tighter, no longer throbbing, as if your pussy tries to drink his entire cock. Jeno belts an arm above your ass and clamps a hand on your waist, getting you in a stationary position. He settles his feet firm, stable, into the ground, preparing himself this time, this last time, then he palpitates into you, his hips grinding into your clit a few seconds after every thrust to really get deep. You claw on his muscular shoulder, fingers digging hard, all the tension going straight to the ends of your body and up your pussy with his cock. He feels you sucking him in and holds his thick dick there, swirling it all around – one, two, three.

“Fuck,” you whine, high pitched, croaking tiredly. Your walls scrape and then beat out a samba all over his cock, throbbing with your orgasm.

Jeno returns half a second later when his tip catches on a particular tug and he empties into the condom, possibly elongating his member. You whimper weakly at the stimulation, but hold him securely, preventing him from pulling out just yet. He lets you lay on him, like that, for minutes, maybe hours, arms circling his neck. Jeno thinks, wow, thisfeels nice – better than hugs from his friends and surprisingly, even better than those team huddles after a good practice.

But his arms are stuck, frozen at his sides while fatigue takes you over. Jeno gives it another second, then his fingers twitch, suddenly gaining the momentum, again, to return your embrace. You, on the other hand, have different thoughts, and pull away, patting him on the chest, relieving yourself of him.

Jeno thinks that the worst kind of time travel is this one, where you two are on opposite schedules. He just needs a break from it.

A time out.

next

[trink-or-treat]

debriefing and press conference live from...flounder heights!

The usually quiet apartment complex wasn’t used for such events; but the quiet feel of the place was the calming contrast compared to the hyperactive, overwhelming feeling of Wahoo World.

The three organizers didn’t want to run the risk of having the debrief ruined by a wayward Booyah Bomb throw - Inkling kids had a lot of energy but getting accidentally splatted wouldn’t be amusing.

MEDIA: Alright, a good day to everyone. The press conference’s about to start. There will be a moment for public questions for the organisers here - Mister Patrick Adarna, Mister Sebastien Valravn and Mister Jeff Mayura. 

MEDIA: Thanks for holding this press conference. The first question we got is from Inkopolis News - what motivated you into running this event.

Adarna: *laughter* That’s a very good question. I think that it’s mostly nostalgia, trying to catch the same feeling that we had while we were young. Having a carefree period where you don’t have to go and worry about having to pay bills, about work, and whatever else.

For a couple nights, we wanted people to go...carpe diem. Is that how it’s said? That’s how it’s said, right?

But yeah. The ability to just go and seize the moment, to enjoy the good times while they’re here, to just get away from the stress. That was the main motivator for us.  

MEDIA: I see. Would you like to expand on why you’ve specifically chosen the Splatoween weekend to hold the event.

Mayura: Um...when rumor had it that there would not be a Splatfest around Splatoween, we felt like that was...a gap to go and fill in.

Couple years ago, there was some kind of carnival party held here and we felt like they did a lot of interesting stuff, but that we could go and improve some things. Having a shorter, but more focused event, was in my eyes, a good idea. We didn’t want the celebration to lose steam halfway.

MEDIA: You said that you didn’t want to lose steam, yet the event has been longer than a Splatfest - lasting almost a week. Were there any challenges for you? 

Mayura: Financing? *laughter*

Adarna: Oh god, yeah. Financing.

First of all, when we were planning the event, we were unanimously against charging for entrance - a lot of people in the Greater Inkopolis Area are living on tight budgets.

Like I said earlier, we wanted to have people let go of their worries, and making a popular event expensive to attend would go against what we’re standing for.

Valravn: Selling the event to advertisers was rather rough - some came naturally to us, like OCVO since Pat’s their morningman and all, but we had no major star power, no idols like Off The Hook or the Squid Sisters as spokepersons.

I think it was mentioned during the congeniality ceremony, but business people really didn’t believe in our project. We really did do wonders with almost no external backing, and I’m glad that we proved them wrong.

Aside from that, I think I was really scared that people would just lose interest halfway through the event. When we were deciding how long the event would be, the guys wanted something longer, while I wanted to just keep it to one night, maybe two. I’m glad they didn’t listen to me *laughter*

MEDIA: Rather than relying on idols, you had a mascot of sorts for the events, the Lord of Splatoween, who had that idea?

Valravn: I think it’s kinda unfair to refer to the Lord of Splatoween as a mascot - they’re an entity of their own. They got involved in the event because we asked them, but we really have nothing to do with all of this. 

Adarna: To make a long story short, the Lord of Splatoween has been hanging around Wahoo World for a long time. We’re not going to say what we had to do to convince the Lord to help us - we’re allowed our little secrets -  but they were hard negociations.

We’re insanely grateful to have had this opportunity to collaborate with them. And don’t worry - I’m 100% sure that you haven’t seen the last of them.

MEDIA: Now, a question from INK.TV - what were the attendance numbers. Did you reach your goal for the events?

Valravn: We’re still doing preliminary calculations about the exact numbers, but I’d say that they’re higher than what we were expecting. While we did have the backing of OCVO FM, thanks to our connections, most of the marketing relied on mouth-to-ear communications. People heard about the event, told their friends and the circle widened.

Mayura: Um, in the later days, we noticed a lot more...celebrities liveblogging and posting pictures from the event, and that’s how we knew we had it. That we managed to...catch lightning in a bottle. We’re extremely grateful for all these...um...influencers for the help.

MEDIA: At the start of the event, you said that you were not charging for entry, but were gathering voluntary contributions. Are these contributions going to fund future events? Like next year’s Splatoween event?

Mayura: Um, it’s true that we did gather close to half a million gold in voluntary contributions during the event, but let us be clear - all profits are going to go to Greater Inkopolis Area charities. That’s what we’ve stated at the start of the event, and we’re not changing our mind on this. We’re not gonna profit off voluntary contributions.

Right now, we’ve been in contact with several charities and groups and we’re looking to distribute the funding ethically. We’ll keep you updated on this.

Adarna: As for a Splatoween 2023 event, we can’t confirm it *yet*. We did go and say “See you next year” when we were closing, so we’re hoping to come back; but we’re not counting our pigeons until they’ve hatched.

Mayura: Mostly depends on what Splatfest organization has in mind - I don’t think they’d skip two years in a row.

Adarna: No matter what, I think that we’re gonna come back in some shape or form. We’re not the kind of guys that just go and give up!

MEDIA: Question from Inkopolis News once more, what was your favorite thing about the event?

Adarna: That might be a cliche answer, but I really liked the masked ball. Was impressive to see the efforts people put in their costumes this year. There was a lot of individuality, a lot of passion. Way to go.

Valravn: Agreeing with Patrick there, but I have a soft spot for both award ceremonies we had. We had something special going on with the congeniality award - because we wanted to nominate someone that encapsulated the spirit of our event and I feel like we nailed it with our choice.

Today’s ceremony was a little more light-hearted because we wanted to honor as much people as we could.

Adarna: Fun story - a couple people came to me when I was working as morning man after the ceremony to tell me that it was a shame I didn’t get any award for my OCVO broadcasting for the event. On one tentacle, I was super honored that people appreciated what I’ve done, but I couldn’t exactly tell them “Yeah, I’m on the organization committee, that would be weird to just award myself the prize.”

Valravn: He’s absolutely that vain, we just stopped him, by the way.

Mayura: *chuckling* Seriously, going back to the question here, I really had strong feelings during the balloon launch. It was something spectacular to behold, and personally, I felt really invested in it.

I lost someone really dear to me a couple years ago, and I felt that this entire ceremony was allowing me to let go off my grief. Sending something beautiful into the sky was a way to remember the person I’ve lost, without it being mournful, without it being sad.

MEDIA: Opposite question : is there anything that you would actually improve about the event?

Valravn: Early in the event, we were asked what someone should do if they wanted to go on ride that didn’t allow children on them, and I was a little baffled about what to answer. 

I’m a parent myself and there is absolutely no way I’m leaving my kids unattended if I can avoid it, but I realized that we really didn’t have much in the way of options in the case an emergency had to happen. Thankfully, we managed to organize something, but I’m extremely disappointed that we needed to be asked about it to figure that out.

A couple days ago, just after the ball started, I also noticed that we didn’t have a lot of events targeted towards children - we had a couple rides and games, but I felt that, as far as family events go, we could have done that way better.

MEDIA:  Finally, before we move onto your fan’s questions, anything you guys want to add?

Mayura: I think we all agree that our attendants were amazing. Seriously, we’re so proud of their involvement during the event, they were everywhere. No major incident happened and we’re just...so happy that it was the success it was. I’m...um, really hoping to come back next year. Like we said earlier, it’s all up in the air. We need all the stars to align, so cross your fingers!

Valravn: Seconding what Jeff said concerning the crowd - people go and say that Inklings and Octolings are impulsive and destructive but from what I’ve seen this weekend, everyone was on their best behavior.

Adarna: Aside from a couple Burst Bombs incidents...

Valravn: Aside from a couple Burst Bombs incidents indeed.

MEDIA: Well, there you have it. The organisation committee will answer your questions in the next few minutes, so do not be shy!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

[shoichee]

ALSO CAN I ASK FOR SOME RANDOM GOM HCS U HAVE? like just random ones u have or if u want like some toxic hcs abt them :D

I’m assuming that I can include their negative traits of their personalities as well 👀 Also including Momoi in this… lots of analyzing for this hc, so I used my brain here pls appreciate AGAIN these are all headcanons/interpretations of possible toxic hcs about them and only a few are canon

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

Kuroko is the hardest person to find a “negative/toxic” trait in, and it doesn’t seem like he has any

kind, understanding, hardworking, and compassionate; he’s everything a good-natured protagonist is

but he’s only like this to people/hobbies he cares about/close with; anything else he’s quite apathetic and also very passive/neutral about

the biggest hint to this is when Akashi criticizes Kuroko for cherry-picking who the GoMs should “go all out against” and who to casually toy with

and Akashi is absolutely correct

most of the series is portrayed through Kuroko’s perspective, and Akashi is the first direct outside perspective who comments on his actions/attitude

it’s obviously not that Kuroko didn’t “notice”... he clearly sees and knows what these GoMs are doing; after all, he had a conversation with Aomine about how observant he is to everything around him

of course, if you were close to him, all your opinions and issues matter to him

it’s the fact that what’s not really important to him is suddenly now important just because someone he knows is involved

just an example: if someone was advocating climate change, he has no opinion on it until someone he knows cares about the issue

in other words, he has a subtle hypocritical view on things, especially when he interacts with others

another clear negative trait could be that he’s too idealistic or perhaps naive, seeing things in a clear black-or-white picture and not necessarily a gray area

WE know, as an audience, that the GoMs honestly needed therapy and a proper adult to guide their out-of-control talents

but Kuroko, in his eyes, had viewed them as “bad” and “evil” in their ways of basketball until they changed after their respective matches

he’s probably someone who doesn’t yield to other opinions once he forms his own, and this may make him unable to consider things in other people’s perspectives

which is again, ironic: someone who doesn’t have generally a strong stance but once they do, it’s very unyielding, which further proves Akashi’s comment about Kuroko’s tendency to nitpick which to care about

a final hc about a potential flaw he might have here in a different ask!

Kise Ryota

y’all… it’s as canon as day that he has a mean side

straight from the author himself, it’s confirmed that Kise is only kind to those who he respects, and to the rest, he’s cold-hearted

in the manga, it’s very clear that he’s super judgmental on every first impression on people he meets, boxing them into categories based on the way they look, act, and speak

only when they surpass his preset expectations (low or high depends on his preliminary judgments of them) is when he opens his mind to the rest of their personality

this is a very close-minded way of thinking, and I hope I don’t need to explain why LOL

this can be interpreted as him being two-faced by the majority of the people in his school

his way of speaking can definitely be very cruel and crass, and to sensitive people, his words can easily shatter hearts

Kise’s negative/toxic traits are pretty straightforward here, so let’s move on

Midorima Shintarou

his harsh words can be considered a “negative” part of his personality, but I think it’s a lot more than just that

it’s confirmed in the series that he’s a bystander and almost always minds his own business

on one hand, one can say he’s self-driven and that he constantly strives for self-improvement

on the other, it can be interpreted as him being very dangerously ambitious and selfish, in which most actions he takes are for the sole reason of self-improvement and not for altruistic reasons

for example, when he helped Kuroko and Kagami in the training camp, it was under the reasoning that them becoming stronger would be a good challenge for himself to test and learn

that’s not to say that he can’t have friends, but most friendships he’s built are with capable people who can potentially provide him with some new beneficial skill/goal to strive towards

after all, he’s only learned to trust Takao as a friend only after seeing him as someone capable

because he’s so focused on himself, he’s extremely likely to turn a blind eye to injustice, most also likely to use Oha Asa to justify their “misfortunes” as he continues on his day

he’s not cold-hearted, but altruism comes by Midorima a lot rarer than the average person

now, we know that his Oha Asa aspect is used to balance his serious side as the “comedic side” of him, but if we really think about it, his obsessions with the horoscopes could be a huge obstacle in the future, where he may refuse to listen/depend on others in favor of his own intuition and the stars; after all, no one knows everything, and depending on the stars as one’s next source of advice and guidance isn’t a sound decision to commit themselves to

he seems like the person who overthinks and jumps to conclusions when it comes to social situations, but instead of confronting the person, he turns to fate and fortune if Takao isn’t near to help

Aomine Daiki

I wouldn’t be surprised if Aomine had a skewed sense of beauty standards from all those magazines he consumed and from being around Momoi for the majority of his life

of course anyone can distinguish pieces of media from reality, but during the most impressionable years of life, without experiencing other types of people and physiques, he would have limited knowledge on what “beauty” is and whatnot

this probably would be more of a problem in his adolescence than adult

a very given negative trait is his short temper plus his tendency to turn to physical violence when someone nags him to a certain point, seen with how he’s treated Wakamatsu in the beginning (though this seems to almost disappear by the end of the series)

what I’ve noticed in every scene he’s in, is that everything seems to revolve around him and his hobbies of basketball and Japanese idols

what I mean is that everytime we see Aomine, it’s always Momoi approaching to Aomine or just him always being the center of attention; never once has he approached Momoi for anything and it’s always been the other way around

in other words, people have to cater to him in order to get along with him/be in good graces (additional example: Imayoshi letting him do as he pleases to get him to be cooperative and participate in the games)

we’ve actually never seen Momoi’s hobbies outside of being a manager for her basketball teams and just anything basketball-related

he can be quite apathetic, choosing to only pay attention and try in things he’s interested in… which is basketball and those magazines

he seems to mature in the Last Game though, so I’m not quite sure to what extent these headcanons would apply to older Aomine (these also don’t really apply to Puremine)

Momoi Satsuki

the author probably also included this type of anime trope as comedy, but belittling another female for her body is definitely a no-go in reality; I feel like this is something most people gloss over really lightly

her body comments on Riko are actually what made me skeptical of her character at first before the show really shows her entire personality

that being said, it seems that she always takes the opportunity to look down on other girls (especially to those she is a stranger to) as a sort of “competition” when there’s boys around

definitely at certain moments, she screams a “pick-me girl” type of person (real phenomenon, you can search this up!)

while Kuroko doesn’t seem to actively mind this, I think she also has no good sense of boundaries and what’s considered appropriate touch and consent; people can chalk this up to “oh it’s just infatuation,” but this definitely isn’t okay if we really think about this

her life also seems to revolve around either Aomine or Kuroko, and based from that, I’d feel like she’d have a difficult time forming her own identity/life separate from her “manager life,” especially once she graduates from Touou

can definitely be interpreted as too clingy at certain moments, while others may think it’s her way of showing that she cares

Murasakibara Atsushi

most people would chalk up Murasakibara as “lazy,” and on the surface level, it does appear to look that way…

I think his true negative trait is that he has a lack of intrinsic motivations to drive him to do things

it’s different from being lazy; someone can be lazy while still having a goal, and certainly someone can be lazy while they’re motivated by thoughts of “I want to learn more,” “I want to get stronger,” etc. (you guys, it’s me right now in college)

and he doesn’t have that

part of this was contributed to the fact that he’s already so gifted with genetics and thus, there’s never been a goal for him to have to work towards to when he’s already at the top

he doesn’t actively seek out, and while that may be a characteristic of sloth, it’s not exactly right either

he willingly does things if people around him give him the motivations/reasons to do so; a person of sloth wouldn’t do anything even with all the motivations and goals handed right to their face

snacks/food are examples of extrinsic motivations that fuel him to carry on daily life

Himuro is always the main motivator for Murasakibara to come out and watch matches, and he also does whatever Akashi orders in both Teiko and present days // a person who can give the giant the motivation to do tasks would get along with him the most

searching out for a challenge against his basketball skills is something that’s never crossed his mind

why? he grew to be like the way he is because of the lack of results from his “search” of a challenge throughout his games

again, it’s only when Murasakibara gets handed a silver-platter of a challenge, Jason Silver, that actively gets him pumped up and raring to go

as such, Murasakibara is equivalent to a rusty machine, extremely difficult to start up and find compatibility with, but very powerful and efficient once he finds that spark

Murasakibara finding any partner or friend in the future would be extremely difficult because he ticks a different tune from the rest

Akashi Seijuro

his entire Bokushi side was a giant-ass red flag for very obvious reasons LOL anyways, moving on…

it’s difficult to pinpoint a negative characteristic for Oreshi because he’s the pinnacle of a gentleman character… but that technically is also his negative trait

for him to maintain that perfect image for himself and others, he has always carried himself in such a way that doesn’t allow for errors or expressions of “weakness”

thus, bottling up his frustrations and emotions to the point of no return is something very familiar to Akashi, and I’d feel like Bokushi is the result of his overflowing emotions left unchecked in the first place

I also predict that if Akashi continues to carry himself without letting himself wind down and feel emotions on the spot rather than locking it up inside him, a day will come when he splits into two halves again with a “new” Bokushi to deal with his current life (and let the current Oreshi take a backseat in his psyche to take a break from the turmoil)

also will tend to overwork himself to manage people’s expectations as well as his own, and he’s not one to depend on people not because he sees them as inferior or incapable, but because he’s doing this out of habit from being in positions of authority and responsibility for much of his life

and so, he may tend to hide important things or just not speak about his problems in general to those close to him because he feels like he can do it all himself and spare everyone the work and stress associated with them (a leader mentality)

throughout the majority of his life being calm and calculated, his emotions would definitely escape from him in forms of uncontrollable lashes of anger… before he would realize what he’s done… that is, assuming that another Bokushi hasn’t form within his subconscious yet