#first day of an exhibition
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Vernissage - Anders Post , 2019.
Swedish , b. 1945 -
Oil on canvas, 120 x 100 cm.
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i am reminded of that time my mom went
mom: oh god, you're turning into one of those people who read for enjoyment only
me: what?
mom: one should not read only for enjoyment!
me: what should one read for then?
mom: for personal growth. knowing new perspectives. expanding your world. for the art of literature itself
me, artless: oh ok
#that's all fair by the way!#but by now if i'm not enjoying myself *in any way* by the first couple chapters i just go do something else#no matter how incredibly good the technical skills on display. good for them good for them. but i'm out#'in any way' being very loadbearing here. this is a very broad range. still#there's plenty of other little enjoyments out there waiting for me that i'll go spend my days on#time's not infinite after all#for things that bring me no enjoyment there's office work#probably related: why every art exhibition description that's not in relatively plain language makes me jawn#i heard enough timewasting inflated speeches about art as a kid while going with my grandparents to art inaugurations#bring your little kids to art exhibitions. they'll spend their time criticizing the technical skill and getting jaded about meanings#man this got long
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i forgor it was autism day yesterday so i'd like to wish a very happy autism month and late autism day to data from star trek specifically :)
#star trek#star trek tng#star trek the next generation#star trek next gen#data soong#data#commander data#data tng#autism#autism acceptance day#autism acceptance month#actually autistic#autistic#data's so autism it has to be canon#like#he doesn't get social cues or humour#he mirrors the actions of his human friends (especially geordi)#he has a flat effect#he has a special interest (sherlock holmes)#he can't process his emotions in a ''human'' way and doesn't quite get facial expressions#and even when he does get the emotion chip installed he still exhibits literally every other autism trait#that's what i love about data post generations. the emotion chip didn't suddenly make him human-#-or neurotypical. he's still good ol' autistic data he just knows how to laugh and cry now :)#that what i was afraid of when i first watched the movie because i thought they'd just do a whole 180 with his character-#-as soon as geordi installed the chip but luckily they did not and i'm very happy about it#anyway shoutout to data!! i love him very much <3
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Do you think that Ahkmenrah blames himself for the 54 years he spent locked up at the Natural History Museum?
Does he think that he must have done something to anger the gods in order for them to punish him like this. He didn't honor them well enough, maybe. Or maybe they were angry that he had told Egyptologists at Cambridge about them, was it hearsay to tell stories of the gods to people who believed them only to be fiction. Did he say something incorrect, perhaps, misleading in a way that left him needing punishment.
He had to have done something. He's just not sure what.
But Ahkmenrah knows he has to figure it out quickly. The gods may have sent Larry to free him as a second chance, but something like that must come with a time limit.
And if Ahk found himself locked up again, he isn't quite sure he would be able to make it out the other side whole.
#ravenpuff rambles#ahkmenrah#night at the museum#very vaguely#the sun the moon and the stars#In that I had this idea thinking about that au and Ahk talking to Ammon for the first time under the moon in 54 years#And how Ammon was always so much at understanding the gods and what they wanted and Ahk wishes so much he was here#Anyways I just am into the idea that Ahk doesn't blame the old night guards or other exhibits so much for him being locked up#But he rather blames himself and has spent 54 years trying to figure out why and his best conclusion is it must be the gods#He just doesn't know what he did#also hi natm fandom been a minute but I'm semi back because I need a comfort fandom right now#So cheers and maybe there will be more sun moon and stars posts coming because it is my only thoughts#also I had an idea about a mild dc crossover but we'll save that for another day
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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something is so seriously wrong with me because I just finished my semester and immidiately thought "damn, i havent really done anything for the past year, have I?"
As if I didnt just do two whole ass exhibitions and a runway and a cosplay and learned a whole new medium and a 3D modeling program and ran this stupid account like sorry tf is wrong with me????
#im sorry i need to vent a littlw#also im#going to post more soon i#i just needed a little break#also i started this account literal days before my first exhibition which was also my thesis#which was so stupid bc the amount of time i spent drawing etho instead of school work#was criminal#somehow i did not have a single late assignment#alao the new medium was fibers aka felt aka sewing aka embroidery
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Faaaaaak i mentioned someone i met a few months ago to a coworker and now. i can't stop thinking of her again (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
#she's an art teacher and has started exhibitions in her free time .... met her at a concert at the same venue of the exhibitions ...#i told her i'd come to her first vernissage but i had oncall duty that day and couldn't ...#that was in may ... missed the one in june too because of depri ... should i go to the july one o.o#it was so easy to talk to her and it's her who talked me up and we share music taste but we also share not-quite-belonging to the subcultur#and she's hot too#but also i dedicated myself to a lonesome life and i would never date and thought i was over it#but but KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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your art really fits your appearance... are you the real life sydney sargent? i'd be freaking out if you were sydney sargent ahh
Well, yes.
I could explain my multi-year spanning selfhood/ ID situation in depth… buuuut we would be here for hours. Short answer for all intents and purposes is: yes.
#fictionkin is… a word. not sure it fully describes my experience.#it’s worse/ more extreme than that (save me let me out)#even outside of that though#I am a GNC trans man. long dark hair with light blue eyes. Autistic. BPD. ARFID (safe food is… buttered bread.) chronically ill AND#psychosis and hallucinations (I am on meds for it 💪 look at me go)#deathly pale and inescapably sick#and has motherly issues. I spend most of my time in the forest. I was a warrior cats kid. I’m goth by music taste and wear dark everything.#I prefer skirts and dresses for sensory reasons. dark and earthy tones.#I talk too much and overshare (exhibit a: this)#my SPECIAL INTEREST has been decomposition and dead things for YEARS#so I adore worms and mushrooms and everything which will one day help me return to the earth#I had a few pet worms & isopods before CHNT even released. I love. worms.#however I don’t do first aid now. I’ve devolved to mortuary science/ post-mortem preservation.#as you can imagine… discovering CHNT was horrifying for these reasons.#as once again- everything I listed here has been the case long before I ever found CHNT.#also I seem to only have chemistry with morally dubious men send tweet#oh and also vivid memories yk that too that’s kinda important yk#guys I’m afraid to post this.
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eobard thawne is probably extra normal about the fact both him and iris have written barry's biographies bc i know he was really normal even about iris' one since oh you know. his very first appearance as a fan.
#look at me! i wrote a book about your life and how great you are! just like someone you love!#AND WITH THAT PATHETIC GAY FOREWORD NO LESS.#he is so lost#bitibg the table AGAIN#AND WHY IS HE STANDING LIKE THAT ON THE FIRST PANEL!!!!#also did he like. steal it from the museum's exhibition. like i highly doubt hes allowed to do that while not being a curator yet#(btw is he actually against touching the historic artefacts as a curator or he just hisses at anyone standing too close to display cases#because hes the only one whos Allowed to Touch things that have been in the same room with barry at some point in time)#((i mean ik his pedantic ass would be mad af if he saw anyone else doing the same to other even non flash related relics but still))#ooh and tf is up with the 2nd panel where hes wearing the flash suit right after panels with reverse flash pants. tf were they cooking#why are there reverse flash pants in his fan era in the first place!!#either we had colorist problems since day 2 or this is actually a smart move reflecting thawne's dissociated perception in his narration#i wouldnt bet on the second tho. aint nobody gaf about this rat 💀💀#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#eobarry ig?
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omg hiii <3
#first time i’ve been back since they finally reopened the european paintings galleries so!!#got to spend a few hours getting lost in there but it was nowhere near enough i gotta go back again soon#dedicate a whole day to it#but i saw the manet/degas exhibition too 😭#caravaggio
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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.
#this also may have been a separate dream#i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals#i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around#eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and#i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie#the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart#and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv#then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of#the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought#then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn#and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me#and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth#while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder#victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right#house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk#and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and#everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny#and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the#glove box and stuff and i just wake up#and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was#take the front seat :(#dream log
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Royal Ontario Museum - Insect Exhibits 2
Good news, I managed to squeeze in one more insect visit to the Royal Ontario Museum before the end of the year! As such the living denizens of the natural history section will be showcased one more time before 2024 is upon us. Before that, I'd like to take a moment to share new pictures from the insect displays within the natural history section. Compared to the pictures from 2019, these are a quantum leap forward in terms of clarity and use of lighting. The Peanut Bug - Fulgora laternaria (Picture 1) has always been a favorite of mine, so I always take the opportunity to go and visit it and marvel at the ridiculousness of the size of that head protuberance. Though a bit oversized, such a head fixature has an important function: knocking it against a tree is its mating call. If the attention they draw is unwelcome, they can startle their voyeurs with the eyeball spots on its wings. These markings are more prominent in live specimens; this pinned specimen's colors have faded away over time. You can even compare the images from 2019 and you'll see a difference in color saturation. Otherwise, when this Hemipteran is at rest, it looks similar to a helmeted Cicada with more opaque wings. In terms of relations however, the Peanut Bug is more closely related to the Spotted Lanternfly of Asia, as they are both part of the family Fulgoridae.
I'm also particularly fond of the texture of the Shining Leaf Beetle's (Picture 3 - Chrysophora chrysochlora) ornate emerald shell, and the tropical colors of the Weevils on display. Especially the blue Eupholus specimens (Picture 9 - right side specimens). Finally, I also noticed a new section (to me) in the animal gallery featuring Butterflies of the tropics and I'm still amazed at how large they are. Many of these iridescent, vibrantly-colored specimens have wingspan sizes that can be as large as a hand! They are more appropriately known as Birdwing Butterflies and they are all giants compared to the Butterflies that grow in the temperate climate of Toronto! The specimens focused on here are the Green Goliath Birdwing (Ornithoptera goliath - Pictures 2, 5 and 6), the black-and-white female Priam's birdwing (Ornithoptera priamus - Picture 8), the male Palawan Birdwing (Trogonoptera trojana - Picture 10 top), Wallace's Golden Birdwing (Ornithoptera croesus - Picture 10 middle) and the female Paradise Birdwing (Ornithoptera paradisea - Picture 10 bottom), but there are many more in the background. To glimpse these in person is wonderful, but seeing them flying around in their tropical environments would be a magical experience!
Pictures were taken on December 19, 2023 with a Google Pixel 4. Please come and see the bugs if you can, both the living insect specimens and the many displays. You may go to this link and view a post from earlier: ROM - Insect Exhibits 1.
Since these insect collections belong to the ROM, I’ve marked them with the Mantis icon. As well, Happy first day of Winter (tomorrow)!
#jonny’s insect catalogue#insect#royal ontario museum#insect showcase#ROM insect#insect display#insect exhibit#pinned insects#lepidoptera#coleoptera#hemiptera#butterfly#birdwing butterfly#beetle#weevil#snout beetle#heteroptera#true bug#peanut bug#lanternfly#lantern fly#scarab beetle#first day of winter#toronto#december2023#2023#entomology#nature#invertebrates#arthropods
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"Sharle had completed the hardest part of the Grand Prix and came out of it a record holder. Now the team will have to pull out all the stops for tomorrow’s race to ensure their driver is crowned the champion. ... But, oh, how quickly can a single mistake cause the entire team to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory."
#series: D2S#sharle casini#tiraol rikelo#in order to understand being a Sports Fan you must first understand how to experience pain. this is exhibit A#yes i did spend multiple days recreating a reddit page complete with custom thumbnails just for a laugh#(no i didnt change any usernames either. you just have to accept that F1 news is always brought to you by user ICumCoffee)#we're gonna ignore that the onboard is a trace-over from imola and not monaco. i had a brainfart tracing it while watching imola last week#and for those who dont know racing (aka everyone): the average pit stop in F1 is about 2.3 seconds. they fucking murdered my boy
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Look at my sons, proud is no the word I'm looking for!
(but I love them 💜)
(Rinzu holding hand and Ran doesn't want to know anything about)
(yes, I'm a kangaroo and they are my babies 🙈)
#christmas presents to myself#izana is on his way bc i neede to find him a kakucho first#also an exhibition sanzu bc my baby with pink hair#i'm so happy to have them#i was having a shitty day and now i'm just 'wiiiiiiiii'#trying to find something positive in christmas#maybe i'd bring them to family dinners with me#what would haru do? oh wait better if i don't do that xD#they just arrived but i love them so much#my new comfort plushies 🥹#tokyo revengers#sanzu haruchiyo#haitani brothers
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it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif
#i know the fact that i faint every couple of days and go a little blind sometimes should be priority here#but it REALLY pisses me off how much and how quickly this (?) stress is aging me#id still like to look good even if i feel like shit. sorry#the worst thing is that im doing everything in my power to do all the right things#but since i dont actually KNOW why having sex affected me in such a weird way. I cant really take the proper steps to get over it#like.. i can treat the symptoms best i can but as far as the root of it all. i have no idea whats actually wrong or how to fix it#in some senses it seems pretty cut and dry- i cant remember my childhood. i was neglected. i have a bunch of issues#i have sex for the first time. i stop functioning. i go into a depressive episode. i cant sleep.eat.be around people#i feel paralyzed by fear at the most random of times and have to hide in a small space to feel safe again. i cry so much i pop an eye vesse#like CLEARLY something is wrong. and just in an objective sense it sounds like something bad happened a long time ago associated with sex#however ! life is more complicated than that and i think its unhelpful to make assumptions (yes im aware i might also be in denial lol)#i already know i have trauma so its not weird for me to exhibit trauma responses. and maybe that was triggered bc i wasnt ready to have sex#it doesnt have to have a sinister explanation. it might just be as simple as me not vibing with the guy and regretting it later#idk. obviously my reaction to it is violently out of proportion. but i might just be a sensitive person !#does that sound silly or reasonable? reading it back i still kinda wonder if its just the denial speaking but idk!#i really really wish i just knew what was wrong so that i could actually start to move on#i know im bumming u guys out talking about it but i cant exactly talk to my family and im trying to not unload everything onto my friends :#bc as supportive and wonderful as they are i can tell they feel bad and have no idea what to say#which is fair enough bc its a really weird situation! so i dont want to burden them more than what i have to for my own sanity#tw#?#diary entries
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realizing I’ve willfully been in a perfect bubble of queer thought and academic feminism for so long and that’s the reason I’m gobsmacked every time I’m out in public and hear young women talking about bioessentialism and divine femininity and the power of makeup in really really empty ways.
#people I thought were inured to this. are not.#and that’s on my and my charitable assumption and uncritical analysis of many other actions they’ve been exhibiting. I love them#starbucks feminism fr fr. and I’ve been making home grown and roasted coffee for the philosophers and laborers on the queer leftist commune.#2024#ignore this part;#moments like this make me feel like I’m so far removed from reality that there’s no way I’m ever going to be able to date anyone I just run#into in my day to day life or anything.#<- men and women alike#talk to me abt the first part though plssss
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