#and has motherly issues. I spend most of my time in the forest. I was a warrior cats kid. I’m goth by music taste and wear dark everything.

[museofthepyre]

your art really fits your appearance... are you the real life sydney sargent? i'd be freaking out if you were sydney sargent ahh

Well, yes.

I could explain my multi-year spanning selfhood/ ID situation in depth… buuuut we would be here for hours. Short answer for all intents and purposes is: yes.

[witchthewriter]

level 4 (i did the reblogs on my second account @magicoventorecs

about me!¡

pronouns: she/her

mbti: infj

age: 18

hogwarts: hufflepuff

sexuality: straight

zodiac: aquarius sun, virgo moon and libra rising

looks: 5ft6, pixie cut brown hair, olive skin, im curvy but slim at the same time idk, brown eyes, cottagecore style, indigenous mixed

hobbies: writing, painting, reading, singing, walking in the forest, playing the sims

likes: music, poetry, bubble tea, mythologies, aliens and sci-fi, fantasy, philosophy, ghibli, KATE BUSH, witchcraft, ocultism, drawing, sunsets (specially that purple-like tone the sky gains at the end of the day lmao) kids (i think i actually want to be a mother one day)

dislikes: loud noises, people who hates children and animals, intolerant people, racists, conservatives, talk to people for a long period of time

personality: i don't like to talk to people in general, but when it is about something im interested, i could talk all day long. I spend a lot of time imagining fake scenarios, most of them with my fictional crushes. I like to comfort people, and i have a 'superhero complex' as my mom said.

i have a low self esteem specially towards my body. I fall in love easily and i get hurt most of times

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈 

You sound like such a lovely person! So homely! I hope we can be friends <3

𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑨𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒏! He would absolutely love how welcoming and warm you are. The fact that you want kids and have that motherly instinct - would make him fall in love with you even more. Your nature seems very gentle, but also sarcastic when you want to be, and I think he would love that side of you.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Cares about your boundaries a lot. Wants you to feel safe with him. Never pushes you or makes you do anything you don’t want to/aren’t ready for. 

・Is extremely rational, you barely have any heated arguments. If there is, they’re only minor disagreements. I think if he has an issue, he’d bring it up so you can talk about it

・Before your relationship was established, he would come over at night, having this feeling that you were upset/down. Would spend the night with you, looking at the stars and sitting in front of the fire

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Ygraine's Theme by Rohan Stevenson

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐞

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑴𝒂𝒍 𝑶𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔𝒆𝒗! I think he's a man who wants to settle down and establish a home with the person he loves. You guys would make a great couple. He'd always be there to stick up for you, defend you, and protect you. You'd feel really safe with Mal.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Never makes you do more than your fair share, especially around the house. Also if you go on dates, he’s paying for everything. 

・Is very encouraging and cheers you on. Will always make you feel like you’re ‘worth it.’

・His love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. He absolutely melts when you tell him you love him. He can be a very stoic person, and his emotions can be hard to pin down. But when you say “I love you,” his heart melts. 

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Uther & Morgana Reunited by Rob Lane

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝑩𝒚𝒆𝒓𝒔! A lot of mutual understandings; an instinctive knowledge of each other’s needs. You guys grow to unconsciously know one another’s signals as well. A very comfortable relationship, and at times can be structural.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Loves taking you on dates to museums, galleries, aquariums, and the library. A lot of cultured outings. 

・When Jonathan speaks about things he’s passionate about, he gets really animated and excited. You love it. His eyes light up and his smile grows so big. 

・He’s actually really poetic and has written you a few poems here and there. They may be soppy, and maybe even cringe, but he means well. He wants you to understand how you make him feel

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

We're A Team by James Newton Howard

[symptoms-syndrome]

🖤&💔?

LMFAO this combo is so reminiscent of emo DeviantArt LOL

Anyway putting this one under a spoiler just bc I feel weird abt parts info being Out in the Open IDK

🖤 - How many alters do you have? Can you tell me about them?

If I knew for sure the number I think I'd be happier. Around 5-6 "frequent fronters," 3-4 frequently around younger parts, and around 2-3 parts that solely exist in a very sad sort of fashion are the parts around the most/I have the most knowledge about.

I often find it difficult to talk about parts especially when they're not around and I'm worried about offending, so I'll do what I can about the parts I'm familiar with enough to know I won't anger/upset them with what I say.

Seba is the "resident cool guy," or so he's been called/has taken as a moniker. He used to be very antagonistic, but he also used to see himself as a separate entity from like, the Us. Now he's mostly mellow but can still have a sort of biting attitude. I associate him with black cats a lot, and leather. Random fact is that he's the only one I know of in-sys who uses a lot of shorthand (u instead of you, etc) and sometimes I can tell who he's been fronting with based on how much resistance there seems to be against it haha. Like "this is for u" is evidence of more resistance than "this 4 u." Some parts when around with him don't take issue with shorthand but some do. I don't think anyone but Seba on his own would type something like "this 4 u."

Tomas is generally also laid back but friendlier than Seba. But he can get stressed out a lot easier. He and I (S) co-con semi often? Seba and I too. He can be hard to describe, but maybe that's because he's here with me and likes to be humble :/ He's very hard-working, I can say that, he gets a lot of stuff done. I associate him with wolves, forests, and "knight" sorts of things, but I don't think any outsider would. Those are things I just know he likes. He and Hess both are "clean for stress relief" people haha. I also didn't know until an "inner-world" focused therapy session a few months (?) ago, but he seems to be very good with kids.

Hess (formerly referred to as H here, Hess is a new nickname Seba came up with that feels more comfortable than her full name) is very nurturing, caring, loving and motherly. She's generally very collected and is very good at calming us down if we get to spiraling. She's very encouraging which is nice. She's the only part I know of in my sys that can "manifest" by way of physical sensation? Like sometimes I can feel her hand on my shoulder or something like that. She rarely fronts alone for some reason. It's happened before, just not very often.

Mimi has been sort of loud on this blog and in spaces where I/we feel okay being "open," she's possibly the most okay with that sort of thing and enjoys announcing herself the most. So I feel if one is familiar with any part on this blog it's probably her. She's very excitable and supportive, very girly, and loves having fun and spending time with people. She can be a little impulsive but usually with good intent. She really cares about others, which is very sweet of her. Not to say that the rest of us don't, she just seems to go above and beyond with it compared to most of us.

Jay is very serious and I honestly don't know as much about him as I wish I did. He's mostly the one who journals, he holds a lot of parts information, and seems very...serious? He's far less social than any of us, even though a lot of us tend to be "parallel play" types anyway.

Aslan is the primary "kid" part that's around the most, as well as the only one I'm aware of not directly tied to trauma stuff which is nice. He can be really refreshing to be around because he's generally very upbeat and very curious about the world around him.

I (S) like to think of myself as pretty outgoing, and friendly. It can be really hard to talk about yourself. Maybe someone else will talk about me later. I like playing games and stuff but that's far from unique of me among the sys.

I feel like in general, only a few parts (Seba, Tomas and Mimi) front alone for longer than a little while. Most of the time there's more than one person around and I think that meshing can sometimes trick my brain into thinking there's more parts than there are. Like I might mistake Mimi + Aslan both being around for a whole diff part because it won't be fully Mimi or fully Aslan. But IDK. In general our amnesia can be prettyyy high. It's not unusual for me to have stuff happen and have absolutely no idea who did it.

Also for obvious reasons I didn't list parts I feel are heavily connected to Bad Things/Feelings. Or parts who like, I wouldn't know what they would think of me writing about them.

Whew that got long LOL

💔 - How does your system get along?

Hmm. Generally, I feel for the most part a lot of us have come to terms with the "we're all in this together" sort of thing, but aren't always on the same page about it. I don't think there's a lot of open antagonism, but there's definitely frustration with each other sometimes. Like, if you've ever tried to build furniture with someone, you both have the same goal but can frustrate each other and get in each other's ways unintentionally. Like some parts really need their alone time and some really need social time, so there can be frustration when a part either agrees to or cancels a social event and ends up not being around for whatever it was they agreed to or cancelled.

If I had to point out the "worst" vibe, I would say there's a fair amount of anger and sadness, but I feel a lot of it is generally towards the idea of being dissociative than it is towards each other. Like how someone might get really frustrated or upset about living in an apartment with neighbors who vacuum while you're trying to nap. You're not angry at the neighbors, you just don't like living in an apartment. That's kinda how I feel a lot honestly, and I would venture to say many in my sys feel the same.

There are definitely parts that are still openly antagonistic or hateful, but they're generally very trauma-stuck parts and I think they're more just lashing out at whatever feels within reach than they actually have beef with anyone in particular. That's perhaps me just self-therapy-ing though. Maybe some of them aren't trauma-stuck. I probably would've said the same about Seba 5-10 years ago, when he was very mean. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TLDR would be. I think that the majority of my struggles with DID are more related to being dissociative and having a system than they are the parts themselves/ourselves. For the most part.

[lotusmushroomxx]

Backstory of my main fursona Tomomi:

**Disclaimer, not all the folklore and yokai information in this story is 100% accurate as a lot of sources say different things and I want to be able to put my own twist on things**

**TW**: The story has mentions of (animal) abuse, genocide, murder, a miscarriage, and other things relating to such topics. A lot of these sensitive topics aren’t bluntly said, but more so hinted at.

Beginning of backstory:

“Mei.” The small girl said to her mom. “I wanna call her Mei.” The girl reached her arms up to her mom, motioning that she wanted to hold the kitten. The mom gently passed her the kitten, and the girl quickly snatched her up.

If you thought this would be the start of a good, happy story, you would be wrong.

This all starts a long time ago, over 200 years ago, in a village in japan. You see, there were 3 kids and a mom and dad in this house. The three kids were way too rough on the kitten, treating her like a dog, dragging her around with a rope, and petting her way too roughly. The poor mom was weak and sickly, unable to control the three young children.

As for the dad, he was the control of the house. Once the dad got home, the kids would basically hide in their rooms and wait for the next day. Luckily, he worked most of the day and came home around sunset. But “Mei” learned the hard way multiple times that he was no animal person and hated being disturned. She would avoid him altogether but occasionally she would walk by the father and he would take his grumpiness out on her and kick her away from him.

The mother had mentioned a couple of times that what he was doing to the cat was wrong, but it only took her a few times to learn to keep her mouth quiet and shut up.

Being that “Mei” was merely a cat, she wasn’t able the process all of what was going on in the household. She only knew that humans were cruel creatures and that she shouldn’t trust them at all.

Soon everything changed.

The house was empty of people one day. All except for the cat. The family had moved on and the cat was left behind to become a stray. Like most strays, her life became very difficult. The weather was cold at night, she was always hungry, and her trust issues with humans made it extremely difficult to navigate the village for food. Children had thrown rocks at her and the few times she had begged for food had ended badly. There were a few humans who had thrown her food, but as she got weaker, the risk became higher. She couldn’t risk getting injured as much. She had to save her strength for the inevitable cat fights she had to endure.

As the years passed by, her hatred only grew more. She started to hate not just humans, but all creatures around her.

And as her hatred grew, so did her physical form. Thus, she grew two tails and learned how to walk on 2 feet. As time went by, she became more and more human-like. She left the village after being chased out, the villagers knowing the two tails were not a good sign. She lived in the mountains, thinking of revenge almost every moment she was awake. She grew to be 5’11 and around 200 lbs. She started practicing speaking and hunting. Overall her life had kinda become better now that she had the same advantages as a human now.

But that was not the case for “Mei.”

The empty feeling in her heart craved blood, and she was going to get back on the humans for all of the times she had to suffer.

She would commonly take her anger out on people walking through the mountains. It was a handy strategy as she was able to get materials and such from the dead corpses.

Though she soon learned she had the ability to see the dead. It made life difficult since she didn’t like having random ghosts and spirits yelling at her for murdering them.

But through this, she learned she had another ability. The ability to control corpses like a puppeteer. This was super handy, and she would commonly hide while controlling a corpse to buy stuff in markets and villages.

She can only control the corpse as long as she can see it, so she can not puppet a corpse around a corner or too far in the distance.

One thing she did not know till later on though was that she was actually pregnant. It seemed that before she transformed fully, she had become pregnant (as a lot of female stray cats usually do sadly) and now that she was fully transformed, she was started to get a bump as the days went on.

But her body was no longer the correct one for her baby and sadly the baby didn’t make it. She was shattered when the stillborn came out, the little deformed kitten would have been her child to take care of. The one thing she could have learned to love.

And of course, who did she blame? The humans.

And that is when her rampages started. Instead of humans here or there, she was starting to terrorize whole villages. Going on sprees of death, unleashing her anger out on innocent, confused people. And while she was not doing this all the time, she was still doing more damage to humans in the long run. This is when her horns and her tusks started to grow in to resemble the yokai called the oni.

She had made a horrible legacy of herself through this and became hunted for.

Many years passed and while her body was fully transformed, her brain continued to expand. She started to be able to think more complexly and psychologically. She started feeling and seeing things differently as time passed. And as the years flew by, she started to feel more empty, little by little. Revenge was just becoming a never-ending job and it wasn’t like it was making her any better mentally.

One day, she decided to change her life around. That day she had watched as a village burnt to the ground. She picked up a poor kitten who just barely made it out of the fire.

Her eyes swelled up with tears and everything started to click. She started to realize that she had become even worst than the people she sought to destroy. That the world around her wasn’t black and white and that most of the people she harmed were innocent. And with the kitten in her hands, she ran as far as she could, disappearing from society for years to come. This was the only way she could say sorry for her actions

Time seemed to pass by quickly in the forests and mountains. She spent her time building her own cottage, raising the kitten and learning how to garden, paint, read, and many other skills. Enough years had passed for the kitten to no longer be a kitten and become very very old. And when the cat had passed, “Mei” became lonely.

Being bold, she left her cottage and sought out society. And to her surprise, she found other beings like her. Other animals with human counterparts (aka, furriesss). She was able to fit in without a worry in these animal villages and came to learn that furries were not new creatures, but had just recently let into normal society (yes, in this universe, there is some furry discrimination but it goes down as the years pass and the times become more modern.

While she still chose to live in solitude, she would occasionally come to different towns and travel a bit. Sadly she had come to realize that some people would actually use her story from when she was seeking revenge as a way to call furry creatures dangerous. But through her healing process, she had become a lot calmer and learned how to deal with these problems healthily.

But she would still knock a bitch out.

She had chosen the name Tomomi for herself as a way to rejoice new beginnings. It was a slow process with manyyyy ups and downs, but she was learning to heal and cope with her problems.

She started to become super motherly, missing her baby that she could have raised. But she coped with this by being a mother and comfort to the other beings around her. Her hotheadedness stayed though and she was not afraid to put anyone in their place, the only difference is that now she was unpredictable as she would keep the same motherly smile on her face while laying bitches out.

She found joy in helping others, feeling as though this was her way of paying back the world for all the damage she had caused. She especially put in the effort to help other victims of abuse and this cruel world as she had gone through the same thing. She wasn’t perfect though. She didn’t always have the right words to say and sometimes she would get herself hurt through her selflessness but she didn’t let that ruin her process even though many times she wanted to relapse to her old ways. She kept strong.

As time kept passing, she noticed that she wasn’t aging at all and that mortal wounds and sickness didn’t kill her. Because she was a yokai, she couldn’t die the same way as other mortal beings. It was sad as she saw many people grow old without her while she didn’t age a bit. (Though while she has yet to learn the way she can die, she definitely can. I couldn’t find an exact source on how nekomata die, but I decided that she can die if both of her tails are cut off, then she is mortally wounded, much like the kitsune.)

The year is now 2021, and while so much time has passed and society and technology has changed a lot, she continues her journey of healing and protecting others. Though she does struggle with keeping up with the times and may need someone to help her with technology as she spends most of her time in her little cottage now raising chickens and a cow. But don’t worry, she’s still “hip” and “cool” in her own ways :))

[catleha]

POST - SHB TEXTS; 1 / ?? (minor) canon divergence.

While I like to stick to canon as close as possible in regard to Y’shtola’s arc there are several petite changes I would like to make on this blog. Especially post - Rak’tika, I will go mainly hc- based / canon-divergent to a certain degree. Needless to say, it was very disappointing to see Y’shtola’s entire involvement being narrowed down to a few one-liners & occasional quest giving. 

The list below contains some changes to Y’shtola’s arc before & after leaving the Greatwood to join the Warrior of Light in their endeavors.   -- more will probably follow in the future once I re-watched the entire msq.

     1. Her relationship to Runar & the rest of the Night’s Blessed is strictly platonic / a motherly kind of love; up until her involvement with the Warrior of Light, Y’shtola spent her time (around one and a half year) in the company of the Night’s Blessed. She learned their customs, their rituals & adapted their lifestyle to eventually become their sage. -- she serves as a bearer wisdom & as their leader whenever one is required. Other than that she dedicated most of her time to a) the defense of Slitherbough / the forest, b) her studies & c) meditation. 

    In regards to her status as sage / “mother”: Y’shtola is the hero of the Great Fire, their savior, their caretaker, their guiding light. Nothing, I repeat, nothing hints at a romantic relationship to any of the Night’s Blessed what so ever. -- on the contrary, Y’shtola’s final scene (in which she reveals her true name to Runar & the rest) reminds one on a mother gathering her children; period.

    2. Urianger helps her back on her feet post - lifestream retrieval; the Runar hug thing does never happen. The Warrior of Light stops Runar from rushing towards Y’shtola, while Urianger helps her back on her feet / serves as a prop (I cannot believe that @scionsect​ & I fixed this terrible scene). Her connection to Urianger is furthermore significantly stronger than SE dared to show. I will elude on that in a detailed character relationship post in the future. DISCLAIMER: not only was Runar’s approach cringy & simply inconsiderate of Y’shtola’s status as a blind person (never touch blind people without their permission it’s simply disrespectful) , their “romance” was also terribly developed. -- I have nothing against Runar as a character; I simply refuse to support shoehorned romantic sub-plots / the “strong dude, weak damsel” trope.

     3. The second “Flow” cast messed up Y’shtola’s aether; while the consequences of the second “flow” cast are by no means as severe as the first one, they still had an effect on her soul / being in general. Ever since the loss of her eyesight, Y’shtola has been constantly connected to the lifestream in order to both, see & access deeper layers of magic & understanding of the planet. -- over time, Y’shtola also became more sensible to change in the planet / aether itself, resulting in her being able to comprehend / see into the past in a pretty peculiar manner (read: whenever she dwells in a city or place that holds the lingering aether of a passed away soul, she is able to access said souls’s memories / history via meditation or focus). 

    Ever since arriving on the First, said “memories” have long become more tangible, common &, to a certain degree, overwhelming due to the shard’s aether supersaturation. While living in Rak’tika, she is able to access the swamp akin to Toph Beifong in LoK; she is connected to the Greatwood’s very Fauna & feels every twitch / every pulse of the beings living within. -- the second flow cast messed with an already sensible balance between her own entity / soul & the aether around her. She can no longer 100% distinguish between the memories of others & her own, leading to periods of oversensitiveness & fatigue that leave her vulnerable. In moments like these she seeks utter solitude, trying her utmost to calm herself -- Y’shtola’s identity is becoming more & more vapid. 

     4. Her conflict with Thancred has actual gravitas; Thancred & her argue whilst both stay in the Greatwood, causing Y’shtola to confess her resentment towards the other & a refusal to talk to him until he has sorted his “issues” out (shoutout to @hisburden​). Their conflict worsens upon the arrival of “Ryne” due to Thancred’s depression & agony which the finite death of Minfilia prompted. They have their final discussion post their fight against the third lightwarden in the well, ending with Y’shtola & Thancred agreeing on a truce. -- their relationship is no longer as “cordial" as it has been before.

   5. Urianger’s betrayal causes a rift between them; whilst Urianger becomes her most trusted & dearest friend upon arriving in the First, his betrayal in lieu of the Crystal Exarch’s true purpose leaves a deep mark. Upon returning to the Crystarium, she confronts Urianger in her grief & anger. Unlike her conflict with Thancred however, this argument leads to tears & a temporary reconciliation; mainly due to both being emotionally & mentally exhausted / fearing for the WOL’s very life. -- Y’shtola still retreats to spend time in solitude not approaching Urianger or anyone else until they leave to confront Emet-Selch. After the defeat of Hades, she approaches Urianger to further solve their conflict (tag along for pain featuring your local goth cat & @scionsect​).

  6. The “Hydaelyn is a primal” twist leaves a deep mark; she openly searches Emet-Selch out several times during her stay in the Crystarium. She is conflicted & stands between “two chairs” -- albeit being a true believer of Hydaelyn’s ways she cannot deny that doubt has festered & sprawled where once was fierce dedication.

   7. She has issues with immediately accepting “Ryne”; similar to Alisaie, Y’shtola struggles to fully embrace what Minifilia has become. Despite a positive attitude, she still has her doubts & indulges in slight mistrust. This strains their relationship until Y’shtola decides to aid her in her power struggles. -- in lieu of the event of Amh Araeng, Y'shtola willingly distances herself from the group due to feeling misplaced & quite frankly, lost.

   8. Y’shtola teaches “Ryne” / Minifilia to use her powers; instead of being written off as insignificant (as further above stated above), Y’shtola plays a huge part in helping a struggling Minfilia how to harness her aetherical powers & abilities by teaching her how to use them properly (shoutout to @hyethla​ for not only being my exclusive Minfilia but also the inspiration for their beautiful but tragic dynamic). Similar to Thancred, she first struggled to accept her presence but made her peace by confessing her guilt during and earlier visit in Ill Mheg (hence why she gives Thancred a lot of ‘shit’ later). Even later upon chasing down the last remaining lightwardens, she plays a pivotal role in saving the Warrior of Light alongside “Ryne”. -- she also taught her how to read, write & comprehend the workings of the lifestream before the arrival of the WOL. Their relationship is, in fact (at least until “Ryne” surfaces) a close one.

   9. Alisaie, Alphinaud & Yshtola’s Amh Araeng arc will be discussed in detail; needless to say, I will write a long post about their endeavors & relationship development in Amh Araeng in the future. -- not only did they fight the Eulmorian army, but also discussed the future of the scions, the WOL, Minifilia, etc. 

   10. Y’shtola suffers greatly under mental strain of both, her powers & the second flow cast; instead of brushing literally everything we learned about her struggles aside like SHB & SB kinda did, I will dedicate a lot of time & attention to her mental & physical struggles (growing “blinder”, losing herself, burning her body’s life energy, etc) & explain what role her job change  plays in this very regard. -- an example for her struggles is Y’shtola’s wanning lifeforce. She burns herself up to both, see & further access necessary powers. Doing so for three years resulted in the waning of her aether powers to a certain degree & a rapid, mental aging through burning her energy. I will elude on this in the future -- while physically young, Y’shtola has the soul of an almost 50 year old woman.

[yourdlmatchmaker]

I think this one is the longest match up I’ve answered so far… :’)

“Hello there, this looked fun. Could I have a long match-up please?

1. Physical appearance: 5'4" (163cm) 100lbs (45kg) very long dark reddish brown hair, dark brown eyes, olive skin (Mix of Thai, English and German) My look has been compared to a scaled down (in height) fashion model – that is long legs, very skinny, high somewhat hollow cheek bones, narrow face and a high forehead with almost no bust to speak of and a teeny tiny waist, I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

2. Personality: Oh my, where do I begin? Well, I’m definitely an extreme introvert. People usually seem to think I come across as very professional and aloof. I try to be kind and courteous to everyone I meet, but if they do or say anything that bothers me I can be a little prickly and sometimes downright vicious. Little do they know though that I’m like that, because I’m terribly shy around strangers and have a very strong desire to make people happy and protect them. I fear getting close to others, because I don’t want to hurt or be hurt and have a very hard time finding people I can bond with in both an intellectual and emotional way, so I hide behind distance and politeness. Just because I’m shy at first though, doesn’t mean I won’t be a chatterbox once you get to know me though. Once I’m comfortable with you I’ll share (almost) all of my ideas, random musings and gripes, if I think you’ll be receptive towards it anyways. That takes a very long time though and so far only two people have gotten to that point with me. For people that I’m friends with normally I tend to act in a sort of motherly way, giving them advice and helping them with their problems – sometimes admittingly to my own detriment. As well as taking care of them when they are sick or having emotional issues. I don’t like to help people, but on some level I feel like I must do so especially if I know them.

I’m normally a very logical person, so much so that I will occasionally say the wrong thing or offer ideas or advice when it’s not what the other person is looking for, which I realize after the fact but because I really like to just ‘fix’ things I have a hard time understanding that sometimes people need to emotionally vent, and I often just get confused by it. I’ll try to “be there” for them despite that but it is still difficult.

Despite my size and shy disposition I’m actually extremely hard to intimidate and will stand up for myself and other people very quickly. It doesn’t matter who my opponent is or how big, strong or powerful they are, I will stand my ground possibly to the end if I believe in my cause strongly enough (though because of my protective nature it is very easy to make me back down by threatening other people). No matter how many feminine things there are that I love, for some reason I always feel like I end up coming across as a bit too masculine and I often feel a bit more male than female. This isn’t necessarily out of a desire to be male, but rather I feel like I have more masculine than feminine qualities and also feel like I am sadly bereft in the supposedly more girlish personality traits of my sex. Despite this though I have no real desire to change my personality or sex, I am who I am after all. Nevertheless I remind people more of their brothers and sons, and my tiny social circle is all boys (at the moment.)

3. Scorpio (Sun), Gemini (Moon), Gemini (Rising) (The last two are important because despite having almost all of the Scorpio traits, once you get to know me I never shut up. ^_^;)

4. Hobbies/Interests: Drawings, painting (I like both fine art and illustration and can work in several different mediums – acrylic, watercolour, marker, ink and even digital art. Fantasy art, Surrealism, Manga and Impressionism are examples of styles I can do, and I’m still working towards improving my hyperrealist style.) I’ve been obsessed with making art since I was a very small child and at this point it’s really become my life’s work. I dedicate so much of my time, energy and resources to this that I forget to eat or sleep and become a bit of a shut-in. Reading: (Most of my books are non-fiction, though I do enjoy some older fiction on occasion – The Silmarillion, The Great God Pan and pretty much anything by H.P. Lovecraft being some examples. My library contains field guides, books on botany, mycology, medicine, artbooks, anatomy, geography, geology, microbiology, mythology, occult/witchcraft, religion, linguistics, phrasebooks, particle physics, cartography, calligraphy, history, psychology, genetics (…probably a lot more but we’ll be here for far too long.) Gardening: I love growing all sorts of things, but especially herbs and flowers. My living area is full of plants of many different kinds and I devote a significant portion of my time and energy to them. I also like to grow tropical plants from the seeds of fruit that I buy at the grocery store. Manga and Anime: I don’t seem immediately like the sort of person who would love popular culture, but the fact that I can enjoy some fun stories while reading or watching in a language that is not my native tongue has always been the main motivation behind this obsession. I’m also madly in love with cute things and ink drawings. Video Games: Another thing people probably wouldn’t expect by looking at me but… I have a HUGE collection of games (on my computer) of many different kinds. Like with anything else I do, I have to play everything in it’s original language (it’s more fun and respects the artistic integrity more.) I mostly like JRPGs and Visual Novels now, but I used to love Sierra games when I was younger, and some FPS like Doom. There is no type of game I won’t play. Though gaming is generally the lowest thing on my list of priorities these days. Cooking: I like to cook, can can do many different styles. Mostly Thai, but also frequently Japanese (both traditional and modern), Italian, German, English etc. I can cook pretty much anything though I don’t like baking as much. (I’m not super fond of sweets, except on the rare occasion when I must have them.) Fashion and Makeup: I am completely unable to leave the house without makeup and sunscreen and always have to make sure my clothing is at least presentable and neat. I actually enjoy applying makeup and like experimenting with it (I hate doing my hair though, the length is too much so I usually bun or ponytail it.) I also like a few Jfashions, Mori-Girl, Otome-kei and Classical Lolita especially. Unfortunately I’m also a very active person so I usually end up dressing in a more Korean style instead (tight high-waisted jeans, long sleeved tight black shirts and heeled boots – is running in heels a skill? XD), but when it’s practical to do so I love wearing the frilliest dresses I can find with a very poofy petticoat, a bonnet and floral designs. Hiking: I like to forage in the forest for mushrooms and plants when I can. I find that the fresh air and beautiful scenery calms me down and energizes me. Studying Languages: I haven’t had as much time for this lately, but it’s a side hobby. Unfortunately Japanese is the only one I’ve gotten particularly far in… (There are not enough hours in the day or night.)

5. I like: Tea (Especially Earl Grey, must be high quality or I get a stomach ache… yeah I know, its true. @_@), coffee (espresso in lattes or specialty black coffee made in a French Press, no drip :P), Self discipline, Quiet time, Nature, Music (all kinds, though especially symphonic metal), WalkingI love: My cats (though I get along quite well with all felinekind and animals in general (save humans :P), Plants (I mean every kind of plant, though trees and flowers stick out a bit), Fungi (even molds, though not when they’re growing on my food), Beautiful things, Art Supplies, Bright and pastel colours, Antiques, Books, Art, Paintings, Illustration, Shopping for art suppliesI dislike: When people look untidy, Foul smells, People that bore me, Small talk, Sloth, Loud noises, Erratic behavior, Selfishness, People who act overtly friendly and try to get close to you too fastI loathe: Cruelty (especially towards animals and children), Cowardice, Deliberate ignorance, People who complain a lot, Irresponsibility

6. I was unable to bond with my sole caregiver due to extreme child abuse and neglect on their part, In addition to that I was not allowed to attend school until my teenage years (I was educated very strictly at home, supposedly because I was too advanced to fit in at school – though it might also have been to keep me prisoner at home all the time. >_<). Due to this I have had a very hard time fitting in with society as my childhood was mostly spent alone, reading, drawing, playing computer games, spending time with the cats that I lived with and going out into nature (I made friends with a couple of squirrels.) Much of what I knew about people and the world was gleaned from books, magazines and the internet – although I was allowed to associate with a few family friends on occasion. I did have a very good intellectual education (though often held to impossible standards), but because I was so cut off from more normal ways of socializing I still have a very hard time relating to other people.“Relationship-wise” I’m umm… actually extremely submissive in private (^_^;) (Not something most people would expect as I seem very proud and dominant normally). I’m also very easy to embarrass as I’m not very comfortable talking directly about certain sorts of… umm… “romantic” things and avoid almost all forms of public affection. Above all else I look for people who can understand and relate to me via interests and experiences and who I can also relate to in the same way. Probably the same thing most people look for… but figured I should mention it. Would rather not be paired up with Ruki, I have a huge personal grudge against him that dates back to More Blood – and a part of me still plots his doom. (I apologize deeply to all the Ruki fans though.)

Hope this wasn’t too long, I feel a bit silly. (^_^;)

Take your time and have fun with this.

Could I please be anonymous?”

Admin Abi: Oh my~ what a long and detailed match up!! I really enjoyed reading it and I NEED to say that I felt identified with many parts!! Well~ I hope you get to see it “anon-chan” ;D and I thank you for the long wait. Long reply for a long match!

*finishing your match up*

Your romantic match is…

Reiji!

I must say/confess…I seriously I thought I was reading Reiji’s female description! I don’t intend to offend you and I apologize if I did. But you see…I want to explain myself a little more as to why I said it…

I'll tell you how you two met! After some time that you were studying in a school, you just wasn’t able to fit. Your parents then decided to change you into a more private school. They even changed you into a night-time school. During that time of the day, they thought you would be able to fit more since there would be less students as well as to keep your high level of education. They sing you up to this school and to be honest you weren’t very sure or excited about it. It would mean to adapt one more time and start all over again. Adapting to the time, education system and…met new people once again. On your first day you had a hard time finding your classroom…you were lost and let’s say you didn’t know exactly how you ended up in the chemistry laboratory. You knocked and…a handsome and elegant man opened. He seemed somehow annoyed, but he asked you what is that you wanted. You showed him your schedule and asked him where you could find your class. He gave you the directions and you thank him. This encounters seem to happen constantly since you seemed to always cross paths. He was always polite (and annoyed) and gave you instructions whenever you needed. One time you asked a girl of your class if she knew him so you could thank him properly for all his help. She was surprised and told you that he was no other that Reiji Sakamaki, the most popular family in school. She was more surprised that you get to be in good terms with the second eldest of the brothers.

“Reiji is well known to be the perfect gentleman…but he is unrechable. He’s cold towards everyone and thinks of himself above all. No one has see him dating any girl and he just closes himself in the chemistry laboratory, yet he is the top student in school. I really think you shouldn’t try to catch him, you’ll end up rejected” the girl told you. It’s not like you had those intentions with him in the first place, you just wanted to thank him. The next day you went to his class and simply left him a small note telling him how greatful you were. He was impressed? You couldn’t tell to be honest. You kept having encounters with him, you discovered that he was a little more open when you both were alone. He showed you his perfectionist nature as his sadist part. Yet…you seem to be unavoidable attracted to him. You of course were polite and a lady at first and that gave you extra points! He never confessed to you directly? He just simply let know that you now belong to him~.

He can’t believe how many things you both have in common. Just like you Reiji has an interest in botanics and science. You both have created a small garden with all types of herbs and a small section with flowers. You two sometimes have disagreements since you both are very logical, so you tend to discuss about some things. There were times in which you had troubles with him since he can’t stand being told what he should do (I mean it wasn’t your intention to offend him…you just tried giving him some advice!). Yet…even Reiji had it difficult to make you afraid…you were so difficult to intimidate, how you do it?.

He also had some troubles accepting or at least trying not to change you that much about your preferences. He sometimes have problems dealing with your more masculine nature…but well no one is 100% perfect. He sighs loudly and you know that you are doing something that is bothering him. He also doesn’t like that you tend to hang more with men that girls, yet he knows that even though you are nice and such with them…no one could provide you with the things he offers for you like a deep connection both mental and emotional. He also don’t mind the fact that you have social problems…I mean he manages to keep you with him almost all the time. He’s pleased whenever you dress like a lday or all cute just for him…it makes him feel good with the fact that he gets to know you better than anyone.

He understands what is like to grow alone and being force (in a way) to always give your best and being the best. He felt like he needed to have you all by himself and you fekt the same. You had someone to care for (well not literally but as a target to your attentions and love) and so has he. He always take care of you no matter the circunstances, he has found you and has no intention to let you go…never!

Your dates are mostly staying at his room, having a nice cup of Earl Grey tea (of the highest quality, who you think he is?) and discussing for hours about deep and serious topics. He enjoys your vast knowledge in literature, sciences, botanics, medice, linguistics, witchcraft (which he also has used), gentics…man, he can talk to you for hours and just like you said there are times you both wished the day had more hours to keep going. Even your drawings, pieces of art and knowledge in general never cease to stop to amaze him (he won’t admit it though…his biggest attempt to praise you, would be telling you “you did a good job” or “Indeed you are right about this”). Your interests are so vast that is incredible to make you both stop (Reiji is the one that always stops the conversation in order to go to sleep). Reiji sometimes have problems with your huge invest of time in your video games…but he accepts that a break once in a while is important. You small walks also doesn’t bother him that much…he has one of his familiars keeping an eye on you at all moments so he doesn’t have to worry and can concetrate on his chores and experiments in peace.

Reiji is a true gentleman: he always remembers the important dates, the things that you like and those you don’t. I can tell you that he knows perfectly that you are rather new when it comes with romantic things, so he doens’t push you into hand holding or kissing since he, himself, doesn’t like it. Your submissive nature with his dominant one makes a great combination, he feels so proud that he gets to see your true nature…and that you show it just for him…not just in a “pervert way”, but also as the chatty and even your akwardness. Because that true self with imperfections and all…is what makes you perfect to his eyes. You are so perfect together: YOU TWO HAVE SO MANY THINGS IN COMMON THAT HE SHOULD THANK HEAVENS FOR SENDING HIM SOMEONE AS PERFECT FOR HIM AS YOU!!

I hope you liked it and that I made sense? I feel that in some parts I wasn’t very clear or…maybe that was just my imagination…?

Either way hope you get to see it and like it of course…and thank you for your patience again!!

[recentanimenews]

10 Magical Creatures from "The Ancient Magus' Bride" Anime

The Ancient Magus’ Bride is a world of magic. It’s a world of magical creatures inspired by English, Irish, Scottish, Celtic, Welsh, and European literature, myth, and folktale of yore. The creatures come in all shapes and sizes. They may look more like animals. They may resemble human beings. They can look like a cross of both while looking quite alien. They may be absolutely adorable to see, or a little hard to stare at. Many of these creatures are quite intelligent, with the intelligent ones sporting strong personalities. They’re autonomous beings, and they often act out of their own interests -- helping those that do favors for them and tricking others that intrigue or annoy them.

In no particular order, here is a list highlighting 10 magical creatures from The Ancient Magus’ Bride. Most of these creatures are faeries, but it would definitely be a shame to not cover other notable folk that the audience encounters alongside Chise throughout the show. This list would definitely start getting unruly if I attempted to cover every magic folk. My apologies if I didn’t include your favorites.

Titania and Oberon

Titania and Oberon are introduced in The Ancient Magus’ Bride the king and queen of the fairies (or at least the monarchs of a fairy realm). Based on characters of the same name from William Shakespeare’s play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Titania and Oberon are foils to each other, to the extent that you might wonder how the two of them agreed to become husband and wife (outside of being powerful magical beings). Titania is motherly and magnanimous. Oberon is mischievous and free-spirited. Based on their limited appearances together in the show, Titania seems to get annoyed at Oberon antics. Titania also seems to bear a grudge against Christians, likely for the roles they played at persecuting their following and displacing belief in their existences.

Banshees and Silkies

Banshees are faeries that haunt collective families and announce the death of individual members by an ethereal shrieking or wailing. In The Ancient Magus’ Bride, banshees are supposed to move on after their lamentations to haunt another family. One particular banshee, however, refused to move on after losing the host family she cherished, long after all its members have passed away -- long after their house had become a shambling wreck. Feeling pity for this poor banshee, another fairy passing by, a Spriggan, turns her into a Silky. The Spriggan encourages the new Silky to haunt a house instead of a family. No longer bound to a family for its survival, but to a house as its caretaker, a Silky is never lonely for long, so long as there’s a family in a house to live in it and call it home.

Church Grim

The Church Grim is a fairy that takes the form of a black dog, great and overgrown. The Church Grim can behave in the following ways: (1) a beast whose visage and claws are an omen and bringer of death and malice, or(2) a guardian who protects graveyards from graverobbers. Church Grims arise as fairies from the souls of once-living dogs. A dog name refused to believe his loved one was dead. He wasted away at the foot of her grave, refusing to move on, believing she was only sleeping. The dog transformed into a Church Grim in the process -- in his conviction that she would awaken if he waited long enough. This Church Grim can take the appearance of a human at will, believing at one point that he was this girl’s human brother.

It’s unclear as what the personalities of other Church Grims are like, but Ruth in particular is an especially loyal and protective boy.

The Winter and Spring Goddess

The world of The Ancient Magus’ Bride features deities of fertility. The dark haired, black attired, and visibly pregnant Winter Goddess strides the forest during the winter yule, bringing death to all who encounter her without leaving her gifts. The child-like, snow-melt robed, and softly illuminating Spring Goddess grants favors to those who left her mother offerings. The Winter Goddess and Spring Goddess are aspects of one entity. The former in winter gives birth to the latter in spring, who then matures in summer and becomes heavy with child in winter.

The archetype of the fertility goddess is the personification of the seasonal life cycle, the cyclical destitution and fertility of the earth. Her appearance and qualities are understood as feminine due to an association of life and death with the childbearing and menopausal stages of women. In doing homage to the goddess at winter with offerings, farmers who believe in her hope that the ensuing favor they generate from the goddess allows spring to return in time for them to plant crops and keep their communities fed.

Archetypes of the fertility goddess permeate through many myths, though the direct inspiration for the show’s fertility deities hails from neopagan belief.

Leánnan Sídhe

So named because of striking color of her eye pupils, Redcurrant is a Leánnan Sídhe. In The Ancient Magus’ Bride, Leánnan Sídhe are fairies that act effectively as both succubus and muse. They haunt men, embracing them with their form of love. They gift them with creative energy and talent, and in return, they siphon and consume their life energy. Their prey tends to be men who are young, and they pass away young as a result. It’s Faustian Bargain for the Romantic poet, many of whom fell victim to love sickness -- also known as tuberculosis, also known as consumption. Unlike a Faustian Bargain, their victims don’t have much say in about accepting their affection when they come knocking.

Oddly enough though, Redcurrant seems to be hovering around an old man.She insists to Chise that she isn’t in love with him though.

Cats

The cats in The Ancient Magus’ Bride can talk. They can also walk (a less surprising fact), and they have nine lives. Every successive life that cats live after they die increases the level of their intellect. The later-lived cats are intelligent they’ve developed countries and have kings like Mollie. The cats of the show and the subplot surrounding their introduction were inspired by H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “The Cats of Ulthar.” In that tale, a narrator recalls a couple in his village of Ulthar. They were malicious butcherers of cats, and it was implied they met their end by the remaining cats butchering them in turn. The cats recount a similar version of their tale, sealing away the corruption of a old cat butcherer with the lives of their kings.

Dragons

Once inhabitants everywhere that there was sky, the last of the dragons of The Ancient Magus’ Bride are now confined to spend their days in a verdant valley within remote Iceland, far from most humans’ sights. Magical creatures whose sizes can shift between small and enormous based on their desires, dragons, like cats on their later lives, can talk, are intelligent, and can live for ages at a time. From sprite curious younglings to physically infirm seniors, dragons hold a clear and anxiety-free knowledge of their mortality, striving to enjoy their long lives without any regret. In the words of Nevin, the last of the old dragons, they give thanks for the time they were able to experience life. They expire and bring about new life from their corpses, mosses, grasses, and trees.

Will o’ the Wisp

Will o’ the Wisps are fairies in The Ancient Magus’ Bride that are characterized by both their mischief and their sense of duty. They leave or magick travelers astray from the paths they patrol, and lead those spirits long lost on the terrestrial plane to a destination where they can peacefully pass on. One particular Will o’ the Wisp teleports Elias and Chise out of danger, berates a Church Grim for not performing his duties, and shepherds the souls once artificially bound to a chimera into the afterlife. They brandish lanterns powered by an otherworldly coal as their tool for leading travelers or guiding spirits on. The lantern is iconic enough in popular culture that Will o’ the Wisps are well known, albeit by another name: Jack o’ Lanterns.

Ashen Eye

This mother----er Little known is about this entity in The Ancient Magus’ Bride so far except that he is incredibly old, is exceptionally powerful, and is a consummate trickster. He issues high-stakes challenges to those he unluckily encounters or purposely picks on, and delights in watching his victims struggle through, fail to, or overcome his machinations. In one instance, Ashen Eye uses a magical pelt to turn Chise into a werefox and releases her into the wilds. In another, Ashen Eye abducts a boy and erases people’s memories of that boy’s existence after he overhears the boy’s sister screaming that she doesn’t want him as a brother.

lizardboi

LOOK AT HIM

LOOK AT THIS LIZARDBOI

He makes recurring appearances in the show and basically does nothing but follow Chise around and look cute. He apparently has an official name or something but ---- that this name is lizardboi look at him.

***

A social scientist and history buff who dabbles in creative writing and anime analysis every now and again. If you’d like to get in touch with him or are interested in reading more of his works, ZeroReq011 has a Twitter you can follow and runs a Blog called Therefore It Is.

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