#finished book 1 everyone
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fuck whatever Ana and Christian have going on, Taylor, the chauffeur/servant guy whose just always there being super polite just minding his business doing his job driving them around and arranging things is the real star of this series
#50 shades trilogy#finished book 1 everyone#what the fuck was that ending that was so abrupt#anyway I don’t care about any of these characters except for ray bob and taylor#Taylor’s my favorite <3#he’s just There#like yeah I’ll just drive while you climb into his lap in the backseat and make out#u are sobbing have this handkerchief miss steele#i will say nothing else as turn on music for you#best guy ever
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HI I think I sent an ask a while back about having recently found TaTA and a) if it came off as trying to rush/guilt you. I am so sorry because that was NOT my intent, and b) I can hugely guarantee you have at least one person who will eat up any return, no matter when it happens, because I care about the guys so much 🥺 really looking forward to whatever comes next!!
Oh, I appreciate this a lot thank you!
Tbh it's a stress I would have regardless of anyone asking me about it, I'm probably the biggest one rushing and guilting myself on it. Which might contribute to some of the burnout I had...
My complaints are more about people who are demanding "more content daddy" or asking me if I'm dead or asking on every single post I make where it is... Wondering when it's coming back is completely reasonable, it's been a long time! but there's definitely a line haha
my editor also keeps randomly scheduling me and then saying "oh, btw you're scheduled to return in 3 weeks. Is that alright?" And I have to keep saying no, that's not alright??? And then dealing with that process...
I could write an essay about all the reasons it's not back yet, but that doesn't help me feel any less pressured, and it doesn't help you all get the rest of the comic any faster...
As of right now I'm scheduled to and trying to return october 21. No official announcement yet cause I have to do a lot of work in that time, but it's my official goal at least. When we get closer I'll be able to say for sure whether it's coming back on that date!
#basically the main reasons its not back are:#1) webtoon bullshit#2) sad about it ending#3) chronic illness and mental health#4) other projects I never had time for while it was going (books next comic prep pitches etc)#5) writing the rest took a long time#6) thumbnailing the rest (so i know it fits in the episodes I have! is taking a long time#7) finishing 4 months worth of episodes... is taking a long time...#its just too much#i could have rushed and made something okay#but I would way rather pause and make something amazing#and im telling you. holy shit it's so good#like it is so so so good its going to be worth the wait...#i hope. HAHAHAAHHA#but seriously im sorry i dont want you to feel bad for being excited about my work and wanting more of it#felixitous#asks#its hard to complain about the people crossing the line without accidentally lumping in people who are being reasonable#sorry about that#youre good#and honestly everyone on tumblr has been good so#its not you guys#this is why I've been posting way more here than anywhere else auaudjjdjjeje#feels way safer yallre way nicer to me
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I’ve got some friends and my betrothed doing a little book club. It started with one friend and we’d leave a comment in discord with the percent we were at and then our thought under a spoiler. When we read that far we’d go back to read the spoiler and respond. Then their hubby wanted an excuse to read more, and my betrothed heard about it and wanted in.
At which point I slid forward The Scholomance series, which I’d been pressuring my betrothed into starting and so everyone took it up. It’s been like crack. I have always loved this series and my betrothed was like, “This sounds like a horrifying depressing setting why do you like it?”
But now they’re all voraciously consuming it and I’m living my absolute best life. I try not to comment much as I don’t want to color their perception but these books are so fucking good and now I get to share thoughts with several other people who are having a wonderful time.
#ramblies#the scholomance#a deadly education#the last graduate#I’m pacing my rereads to their percentages#but I’m a really fast and voracious reader so I’m finishing several books at once and trying to put off my reread until my betrothed hits#about the 20% mark#everyone’s around 1/2 to 3/4 of the way through the second book so I can read my library books while I wait#every reread I get more out of these books and I don’t generally give recommendations on a broad level cause I like to tailor them#but I feel like most people would enjoy these#if you want a better more realistic magic boarding school that is about hope and cooperation#these are good
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Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each
#twst#twisted wonderland#yes it did take me until the second to last day of the new chapter event to finish book 6 what of it#in my defense i had no good leona&jamil cards for chapters 66 and 67‚ i'm glad i managed to do it at all. robe malleus carried the team <3#anyways! i haven't seen this take in a while but i remember it popping up a lot earlier this year when we got diasomnia on the jp server#as a member of the malleus defense squad i can't bear all this slander and now i have proof it's baseless#his overblot is one of the most justified ones??? what do you mean no reason#He's already established to be constantly left out and lonely because of it#And now he gets hit with the triple whammy of 1) realizing his fellow students' mortality after book 6#2) learning that his father figure is dying and in one week fucking off to fantasy china to live out his retirement without him#3) his best friend the MC telling him they found a way to un-isekai themself#Maybe he could have weathered one of those‚ but all three at the same time?#Poor guy stood no chance‚ those are hits straight into the trauma#Of course he's gonna have a breakdown! It's not his fault breakdowns in twisted wonderland come with a side of destructive berserking#And to be fair from what i've heard in spoilers all he did was put the whole school to sleep he didn't even destroy all that much#like yes putting everyone to sleep so they can live forever and never leave him is not a healthy reaction#but this is Unhealthy Reactions The School it's not like he's such an outlier in that#leave my boy alone 😭#excuse my ranting i'm just insane about twisted wonderland and malleus specifically
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Snippets of last week 🌿
Crocheted a bandana all in one go and it turned out pretty cute :) I love the colour of the yarn as well, can't wait to wear it when spring comes.
Saw Perfect Days with a friend, loved loved loved the portrayal of the little moments in our routines that make life beautiful.
My semester starts next Thursday and I'm excited/nervous, still need to organise everything and my thoughts.
#it's been a calm week#and a good one#I'm really loving crocheting and working with my hands#seeing the finished project just makes me happy#in other news i haven't been reading much#and we have our first book club meeting next Saturday so I'm slightly worried#but I'll regain focus I'm sure#saw hp and the deathly hallows pt.1 in concert and it was breathtaking like always#but since the themes are so much darker and heavier everything was amplified#i loved it#thank god for musicians#You're all amazing#hope everyone had a lovely sunday 🍂#life#crochet
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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(jigsaw voice) hello viz media. kodansha. seven seas whoever the fuck- hello english manga localization companies. before you is a list of shoujosei manga:
ah itoshi no banchousama
himitsu top secret
love rerun
kotou buchou (and hitomonchaku nara yorokonde while ur at it)
sora wo kakeru yodoka
dame na watashi ni koishite kudasai
you have however long you need to make english releases of these series. WITH physical release. i want them on my book shelf so i can sit on the floor and read them instead of doing my homework. if you do not follow my demands than i will., be sad
#as i am making this dumb post i am realizing how like half of these have drama adaptations#also realized that aa itoshi no banchou sama DID have an english release. cmx. only volume 1#AUGHHHHHHHHHH#who the hell owns cmx's old licenses. apparently DC does. DC if you dont rerelease and finish localizing this i am going to. intervene#i was also gonna include liselotte and witches forest as another random ass shoujosei im weirdly attached to#but i just found out its been localized??????? since 2016????????#WHY did nobody tell me I NEED to find these books NOW#also not all of these are good. most are. love rerun is kinda messy. but its short and im obsessed with it regardless#kotou buchou is fantastic tho same with the other thing by the same author about the hr lady#kotou buchou has everything its silly its funny its serious its cute its weird its awesome#also everyone should read himitsu top secret its INSANE. insane. and homoerotic <3#also manga plaza PLEASE release physical versions of fat love and mistakes NOW#or like get a contract with a publishing company to do it PLEASE im begging im on my knees and BEGGING
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dnf'd the pairing 😍
#can't remember the last time i gave less of a shit about a book <333#im freeeeeeee#proud of myself for putting down a book 72% of the way through like i normally would really just push through to the end but#that just shows how Awful this book was#my tolerance for bad books steadily decreases the older i get. i just want to read stuff im going to enjoy#and i felt so validated scrolling through goodreads and seeing all the 1 and 2 star reviews#i mean. that mulan retelling was insufferable. but at least i finished it!!!#the pairing had no heart or soul to it. no passion. it felt lazy. idk if the author had fun writing it bc i didn't feel Anything#nobody felt Real. everyone was so hot and gorgeous and charismatic and let's not talk about the italian tour guide who talked like mario#some weird utopia where everyone's so sexy and fun and down to fuck all the time. no thanks#it goes back to the whole 'so fluffy i have to roll my eyes' point i mentioned earlier. doesn't work for me
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I feel so, so old but also so, so young and it’s starting to freak me out
#Not to get too existential but.#32 is hitting me harder than 30 for some reason?#(the reason being work being awful and feeling like everything I fought for was. fruitless? So what now?)#and time keeps running out and I keep losing things and people#my brain keeps yelling TOO SLOW TOO LATE TOO NOTHING all the time#they took my drive away from me and broke my spirit a little bit and now I’m just. scared and sad and angry all the time#and I don’t even have the faith in myself to go apply somewhere else because I’m convinced I can’t. they really fucking broke me#and if I don’t have work.#what do I have#it was the (1) thing I thought was going well and now that isn’t so what the fuck else do I have#I can’t buy a house I’ve never had a relationship my whole body is fucked#I still didn’t write a book#I can’t keep up with my coworkers I can’t keep up with my same age/older friends I keep just. walking with blocks on my legs while everyone#else is running marathons and finishing them#not to be a stereotypical ambitious workaholic Capricorn bitch but#what the fuck else am I#you know?
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That one poll reminded me of how one time in high school one Ms. Pease saw me quietly listening to my ipod in the hallway waiting for my next class and she just ripped it out of my hands. And I was staring in pure dumb shock for like 30 seconds and she was like "are you coming or not." She then proceeded to explain, once we walked the whole fucking school to her shitty little office she shared with 15 other people, that ipods aren't allowed in hallways. Which was news to me on account of everyone had them or cd players. She was known for being horrible for no reason but damn. I wish it was her who got arrested for cocaine
#it was a Spanish teacher. and not even the one I had whom everyone immediately suspected#let this be your sign that if you hate high school kids don't be a teacher#that was my one and only interaction with her miserable ass and I literally hope she died horribly years and years ago#a history teacher who caught me smoking once was sympathetic about my stolen ipod and helped me get it back and she was a literal angel#more of her and less of Pease in the world#people used to joke about the language department's food based names. Like Mr. Crabb and Ms Pease and Mr. Kofi#Mr. Kofi was a native French speaker from Cote D'ivoire. he was my French teacher and he was awesome. And they pronounced his name wrong#I was lucky I got him. We also had a teacher who taught French and Latin and spoke both with the strongest British accent ever#not to disrespect her or anything. She let us watch Gladiator in class. And I told her after like 3 weeks of class I finished the book#and she said ok here's the next one. if you get through that you can move up a whole year and go from Latin 1 to Latin 3/4#after winter break. and I did do just that and I got the best grades in Latin 3/4 too#at Latin day I was a junior so I didn't get picked for the kartamen team (sp?)#and they lost first round#meanwhile I took multiple choice exams all day. My favorite. and I got 1st 2nd or 3rd place for every single one#so I literally won 10 awards all my myself at Latin Day. Just by taking multiple choice tests. they must have felt so stupid#I received those awards onstage at school the same day I got like 3 or 4 medals for the National Latin exam and the state exam#and the mythology exam#so I went home with like 15 awards that day so fuck you everyone who didn't want a junior on the kartamen team. I destroyed your sorry asse
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saw jesper and wylan kissing on my screen with my own two eyes now i need 5278262 business days to recover from this
#my friends I've only read like 1/3 of crooked kingdom and I didn't now if they would have kissed in the book or not#so I'm very surprised#idk they just gave me that funny warm feeling i love it#i also didn't finish the season because I'm afraid of everyone's reactions and i don't know if i want to experience the finale myself#but as a person who only read shadow and bone six of crows and 1/3 of crooked kingdom i feel neutral?#like yeah the crows won't have any logical plot in the s3 at all because there'd be no reason for kidnapping#amd i kinda don't see what they'll do with alina and co next but i feel normal not outraged#aaaaand i kinda like that they included 2 alina books in 1s idk i like the flow#but for the crows it's surely confusing#jey talks#i really consider to finish crooked kingdom first and them finish the season lmaoo#also malina well i felt alright about them in s1 but now.... they're not good with each other and tbh alina has more chemistry with genya#than with mal lol
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I've got so much of Crimson Fractal left to write but honestly my brain is rotating my Bingmei & Shen Jiu fic idea very, very intensely right now.
Like I've hardly even gone beyond the basic premise of "What if Bingmei didn't end up with Xin Mo when the lbh-swap occured" but honestly, it's so tasty.
It's so awful for everybody involved.
But what does fanfic exist for if not to ruin people's happy (or not-so-happy) endings?
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#svsss fanfic ideas#i wanna at least get cf's book 1 finished and book 2 drafted before i start another long-ass novel of fucked up angst#but honestly bingmei and sy!qq just#trying so hard to get back to each other#all the while trying to deal with the alternate versions of themselves#bingmei struggling with his very very complicated feelings regarding sj#sqq just trying to keep bingge... as normal as possible#so much potential in this idea#literally everyone is miserable#bingge is the least miserable but still extremely miserable#stardust rambling
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Apparently it's a universal requirement of priest novels that one of the main characters has to be The Most Annoying Man Alive
#tho spl is the first time I've found the most annoying man alive actually annoying#reading about xp driving everyone around him bonkers in ts is a blast#and watchjng fd drive lwz up the wall in md was also always a lot of fun#but GY in spl is legitimately frustrating me a bit#he's funny. but he's SO bad at dealing with others' feelings in a way that's a bit frustrating to read#you can't buy a freshly traumatized teenager's love with gifts dude#anyway I'm finishing vol 1 of spl since I paid for it#but it's uhhh. still gross tbh#at least they've stoped being actively heinously racist for a while (since there stopped being scenes with 'barbarians')#but it's also. like. REALLY fatphobic w how cg's friend is depicted#I find cg's setup as a character pretty compelling#young miserable disillusioned and burdened with the idea that he's cursed to go mad with bloodlust#I like that#and the xianxia mech thing is legitimately very cool#but those two points of investment and enjoyment are carrying me through a book that I otherwise find kinda gross in a lot of ways#andie reads spl
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Love the feeling of going back to a draft after a legit year and laughing out loud at shenanigans you forgot writing.
#rose and rambles#prosie's writing adventures#so i have a fairy tale series in the works and bonus points to whoever remembers this but#i did write book 2 once i finished book 1#i just haven't touched it literally since writing the first draft and its been a year almost exactly#i finished it last august/september#and i went back to it to give a reread because ive known there were things i was going to fix so im getting prepared to do that#and the thing about the fairy tale series is i want each book to follow different protagonists and there's an overlapping narrative#that drags everyone together in the last book#and my antagonist from the first book makes an appearance near the end of the second book#because of background machinations#his name is robin and hes such a little jerk fr fr#but it was so funny because i forgot exactly what happens with him#and he ends up getting chased away by an arctic fox and theres a scream and were meant to assume he was frozen#and im like beautiful. love he gets frozen before the day is saved#poetic justice. BUT THEN AFTER THE THREAT IS NULLIFIED THE LITTLE BRAT POPS OUT LIKE 'NEVER FEAR I HAVE THE SOLUTION' COMPLETELY OKAY#I FORGOT THAT AND JUST STARTED LAUGHING#anyway the fear exists that this story is too self indulgent and it does need work still#but it got me to really laugh so you know what? that's enough rn#I love robin so much#hes meant to be the most pathetic antagonist but his ego is off the charts#and he's only fueled by petty revenge against a protag in the first book so he gets roped into a grander scheme by the main antagonist#he's just a delight#not to hang out with but to write and hopefully to read XD
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the monster baru cormorant: i'm drowning 🤕💔💉
the tyrant baru cormorant: ... in pussy!!!😜👉👌💦
#the masquerade#finally finished tyrant after a MONTH god. i could have been done in one weekend idk what took me so long#anyway many many thoughts head very full#mainly im just always thinking about 1. BarHu 2. 'Barhu went to walk among her people one last time.'#that line made me immediately burst into tears and i couldnt even understand why at first#but it's just. god it's so much.#she did it all for taranoke in the end. the source of everything is taranoke and its people being colonized.#the story starts because taranoke has been transformed irrevocably by imperialism#and baru's entire life is a rebellion against that fact#but there is always that fantasy of living hidden on taranoke with her two wives arguing about something#there is always the fantasy of taranoke becoming what it was in her childhood again#it's a refuge in her mind it's a comforting image#and it's probably not even an accurate image because she was in falcresti school so young#it's a mirage but it's still the source of every single one of her sacrifices and choices . it's the thing that shapes her whole existence.#so of course she has to give up the fantasy; the comfort; her last link to her people and her parents.#just like she gave up hu and friends and betrayed everyone and completely lost herself and her ability to trust others#she has to be publicly repudiated by the people she gave it all up for#she has to cut ties to her /culture/; to the place she comes from; to a connection to people who simply understand#and it's not like those ties were not already frayed - she hasn't even talked to another taranoki since the first half of the first book#but it's still. one more cruelty dealt by the empire#the price of her fight against imperialism is unbearable and she bears it again and again#which is why i forgive all of her wrongs. MY poor little meow meow#but also in putting the taranoki in the confidence isn't she creating a connection that the empire cannot reach and cannot break?#something tenuous; invisible to everyone but her and her parents and her aunties and uncles. but it's there like a thread between them.#(it's trim!! the one thing imperialism cannot touch!!)#and the 'barhu' well. it's self explanatory but i'll explain anyway because i'm really just about to cry again#the fact that she physically; literally carries tain hu with her everywhere she goes.#she carries the grief; the guilt; the love; the memories. and she's so full of it all that half of her body is dedicated to holding it.#she made herself a shrine to the lover who sacrificed herself. her own brain altered to recreate hu as if she was still there next to baru.#im sorry how does anyone who's read the masquerade not go fully insane with that thought????
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Iroh: Suki is such a nice young woman. It’s nice to see you with her, Sokka, especially after what having to watch your first girlfriend turn into the moon.
Sokka: Thanks, Uncle! : )
Zuko: How Do You Know About That
#Avatar The Last Airbender#Iroh is everyone's uncle ok I don't make the rules#I'm doing a rewatch and just finished book 1...#The Siege Of The North is the first time I can remember actually caring about Zuko#his little 'I'm tired' at the end of the episode#I was like 'yeah boy go to SLEEP already'
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