#but i just found out its been localized??????? since 2016????????

[bmpmp3]

(jigsaw voice) hello viz media. kodansha. seven seas whoever the fuck- hello english manga localization companies. before you is a list of shoujosei manga:

ah itoshi no banchousama

himitsu top secret

love rerun

kotou buchou (and hitomonchaku nara yorokonde while ur at it)

sora wo kakeru yodoka

dame na watashi ni koishite kudasai

you have however long you need to make english releases of these series. WITH physical release. i want them on my book shelf so i can sit on the floor and read them instead of doing my homework. if you do not follow my demands than i will., be sad

[zvaigzdelasas]

[BBC is UK State Media]

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) has funded politically-motivated assassinations in Yemen, a BBC investigation has found, exacerbating a conflict involving the Yemeni government and warring factions which has recently returned to the international spotlight following attacks on ships in the Red Sea.

Counter-terrorism training provided by American mercenaries to Emirati officers in Yemen has been used to train locals who can work under a lower profile - sparking a major uptick in political assassinations, a whistleblower told BBC Arabic Investigations.

The BBC has also found that despite the American mercenaries' stated aim to eliminate the jihadist groups al-Qaeda and Islamic State (IS) in southern Yemen, in fact the UAE has gone on to recruit former al-Qaeda members for a security force it has created on the ground in Yemen to fight the Houthi rebel movement and other armed factions.

The UAE government has denied the allegations in our investigation - that it had assassinated those without links to terrorism - saying they were "false and without merit".

These are largely between the two parts of the "real" "legitimate" "internationally recognized" coalition govt of Yemen you've been scolded so much about over the last month btw [22 Jan 24]

Continued after the cut

The killing spree in Yemen - more than 100 assassinations in a three-year period - is just one element of an ongoing bitter internecine conflict pitting several international powers against each other in the Middle East's poorest country.[...]

In 2015, the US and the UK supported a coalition of mostly Arab states led by Saudi Arabia - with the UAE as a key partner - to fight back. The coalition invaded Yemen with the aim of reinstating the exiled Yemeni government and fighting terrorism. The UAE was given charge of security in the south, and became the US's key ally on counter-terrorism in the region - al-Qaeda had long been a presence in the south and was now gaining territory.[...]

Under international law, any killing of civilians without due process would be counted as extra-judicial.

The majority of those assassinated were members of Islah - the Yemeni branch of the Muslim Brotherhood. It [...] has never been classified by the US as a terror organisation, but is banned in several Arab countries - including the UAE where its political activism and support for elections is seen by the country's royal family as a threat to their rule.

Leaked drone footage of the first assassination mission gave me a starting point from which to investigate these mysterious killings. It was dated December 2015 and was traced to members of a private US security company called Spear Operations Group.[...]

Isaac Gilmore, a former US Navy Seal who later became chief operating officer of Spear, was one of several Americans who say they were hired to carry out assassinations in Yemen by the UAE.

He refused to talk about anyone who was on the "kill list" provided to Spear by the UAE - other than the target of their first mission: Ansaf Mayo, a Yemeni MP who is the leader of Islah in the southern port city of Aden, the government's temporary capital since 2015.[...]

Mr Gilmore, and another Spear employee in Yemen at the time - Dale Comstock - told me that the mission they conducted ended in 2016. But the assassinations in southern Yemen continued. In fact they became more frequent, according to investigators from the human rights group Reprieve.

They investigated 160 killings carried out in Yemen between 2015 and 2018. They said the majority happened from 2016 and only 23 of the 160 people killed had links to terrorism. All the killings had been carried out using the same tactics that Spear had employed - the detonation of an improvised explosive device (IED) as a distraction, followed by a targeted shooting. The most recent political assassination in Yemen, according to Yemeni human rights lawyer Huda al-Sarari, happened just last month - of an imam killed in Lahj by the same method.[...]

Mr Gilmore, Mr Comstock, and two other mercenaries from Spear who asked not to be named, said that Spear had been involved in training Emirati officers in the UAE military base in Aden. A journalist who asked to remain anonymous also told us he had seen footage of such training.

As the mercenaries' profile had made them conspicuous in Aden and vulnerable to exposure, their brief had been changed to training Emirati officers, "who in turn trained local Yemenis to do the targeting", the Yemeni military officer told me.

Through the course of the investigation, we also spoke to more than a dozen other Yemeni sources who said this had been the case. They included two men who said they had carried out assassinations which were not terror-related, after being trained to do so by Emirati soldiers - and one man who said he had been offered release from a UAE prison in exchange for the assassination of a senior Yemeni political figure, a mission he did not accept.

Getting Yemenis to conduct the assassinations meant it was harder for the killings to be traced back to the UAE.

By 2017, the UAE had helped build a paramilitary force, part of the Emirati-funded Southern Transitional Council (STC), a security organisation that runs a network of armed groups across southern Yemen.

The force operated in southern Yemen independently of the Yemeni government, and would only take orders from the UAE. The fighters were not just trained to fight on active front lines. One particular unit, the elite Counter Terrorism Unit, was trained to conduct assassinations, our whistleblower told us.

The whistleblower sent a document with 11 names of former al-Qaeda members now working in the STC, some of whose identities we were able to verify ourselves.

During our investigation we also came across the name Nasser al-Shiba. Once a high-ranking al-Qaeda operative, he was jailed for terrorism but later released. A Yemeni government minister we spoke to told us al-Shiba was a known suspect in the attack on the US warship USS Cole, which killed 17 American sailors in October 2000. Multiple sources told us that he is now the commander of one of the STC military units. Lawyer Huda al-Sarari has been investigating human rights abuses committed by these UAE-backed forces on the ground. As a result of her work, she would frequently receive death threats. But it was her 18-year-old son Mohsen who paid the ultimate price.

He was shot in the chest in March 2019 while on a trip to a local petrol station, and died a month later.[...]

A subsequent investigation by Aden's public prosecutor found that Mohsen was killed by a member of the UAE-backed Counter Terrorism Unit, but the authorities have never pursued a prosecution.

Members of the prosecutor's office - who we cannot name for safety reasons - told us that the widespread assassinations have created a climate of fear that means even they are too afraid to pursue justice in cases involving forces backed by the UAE.

Reprieve has received a leaked UAE document that shows Spear was still being paid in 2020, though it is not clear in what capacity.

[arminreindl]

The NEW Ultrastenos and its Ironic History

So those that have been keeping up with my posts on mekosuchines might recall the name Ultrastenos, as I've talked about this genus back in August of last year. If you've read that post you might also remember how I highlight at multiple points that a lot of the info was tentative on the basis that Ultrastenos was highly incomplete and that close relatives awaited description.

You may also remember "Baru" huberi, a small mekosuchine that lived roughly around the same time, clearly distinct from Baru yet at that point still unnamed. Oh, how I wished for the former to get more material and for the latter to recieve a proper genus assignment.

My now outdated reconstructions for "Baru" huberi (the small one in the left image) and Ultrastenos (right image)

And then the monkey's paw curled.

As it turns out....they are the same damn animal. Now, back when "Baru" huberi was described, Willis also named a bunch of other mekosuchines from the same locality (the White Hunter Site of the Riversleigh WHA) and described even more material that remained unnamed, including the White Hunter Cranial Form 1. Now, when Ultrastenos was named in 2016, the type material was from the Low Lion Site (also Riversleigh), but importantly, the skull tables identified as WHCF1 were also assigned to the genus (and were the basis for my reconstruction).

Well, re-examination has shown that the WHCF1 and the holotype of "Baru" huberi aren't just a single species.....THEY ARE A SINGLE INDIVIDUAL.

Given the fact that the assignment of the skull table to the Low Lion Ultrastenos material still holds up, this means that Ultrastenos willisi and "Baru" huberi are a single taxon. Which consequently requires some reshuffling of the names.

"Baru" huberi was named first, so the species name takes priority and continues being used. However, since it was never given a genus name, Ultrastenos does stay valid. Except now it's called Ultrastenos huberi, not Ultrastenos willisi. A name that has aged like milk. Back in 2016 it was proposed that Ultrastenos had a very narrow snout (thus the name), so now that we know that the rostrum was flat and mesorostrine, the name really is just wrong.

So next up, lets examine what went wrong.

As I said before, Ultrastenos was fragmentary, so that certainly played a big part in it. But the team in charge of describing the animal still cited several lines of thinking to support their interpretation, most of which are now thoroughly debunked.

As an example, the lower jaw was rather shallow, however while this was initially taken as evidence for longirostry, the 2024 paper states that this only an argument against altirostry (a deep skull), not against a more generalized condition. The teeth were also initially used as evidence, citing their homodont condition (the teeth looked uniform), HOWEVER, the problem in that was that there were only a few teeth present, all of which notably do not bear any resemblance to the needle-like teeth seen in other long-snouted taxa. Another important clue initially taken to mean longirostry was the orientation of the quadrate area and the seemingly sudden constriction of the lower jaw. But the quadrate area was not found in articulation and would support a generalized skull form if simply rotated a little, while the constriction of the mandible appears to at least be partially exaggerated by preservation.

Of course, the fact that we now have proper material of the snout makes the interpretation of a generalized skull shape a lot more solid.

Image 1: The left and right halves of the mandible of Ultrastenos compared to that of Baru iylwenpeny (D), note how the right half is a lot more straight. Image 2: The initial reconstruction of the quadrate area of Ultrastenos compared to one that is slightly rotated Image 3: The revamped skull reconstruction by Yates and Stein

The size of the animal does stay relatively unaffected by these new discoveries. "Baru" huberi has been estimated at only around 1.5 meters in length and my own scaling of Ultrastenos got up to 2 meters, which seems to be in line with what is still assumed for this animal. So among aquatic mekosuchines, its still rather small.

There are however some interesting implications for mekosuchines at large. Now that we no longer have a longirostrine member of this family, one has to wonder, why is that? Well, there might be several reasons.

It could be that the types of environments that were present in Cenozoic Australia simply didn't support such animals. Even in the type description, its been noted that the Riversleigh isn't exactly known for its fish remains, leading to the idea that Ultrastenos might have gone for other small vertebrates like frogs. Hell, the ecology of Baru might suggest that the reason that this genus was so robust might tie to the fact that the local bodies of water just weren't deep enough to allow the typical crocodilian grab-and-drown tactic.

Competition might have been another factor. In environments that may have been more suitable for such morphology, mekosuchines might have been beaten to the punch by other types of crocodilians. Harpacochampsa for example, tho originally thought to be a mekosuchine, is now more often regarded as either an unrelated crocodile or a gharial and its very possible that it filling the nische of a longirostrine simply meant that mekosuchines didn't have the opportunity to expand into that space. Same goes for Gunggamarandu in the Pliocene and Pleistocene and Freshwater Crocodiles from the Pleistocene onwards. (Tho it should be noted that both Harpacochampsa and Gunggamarandu are so fragmentary that their snout shape is technically unknown).

Images: Gunggamarandu (Eleanor Pease), Harpacochampsa (ArtbyJRC) and Freshies (Antoni Camozzato) might have been key factors in why mekosuchines never evolved slender snouts.

Finally, its also possible that something in the growth of mekosuchines simply prevents them from evolving longirostrine skulls, which Yates and Stein liken to alligatoroids (notably the closest alligatoroids got to traditional longirostry as seen in gharials is the Rio Apaporis Caiman, and even that one is closer to some extant crocodiles in its morphology).

Whatever the case, I for one mourn the loss of our long-snouted Ultrastenos. Tho as a note for any paleoartists, there is not a single illustration of this new interpretation since nobody ever drew "Baru" huberi either. Wink wink nudge nudge

Links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultrasteno

Ultrastenos revised (palaeo-electronica.org)

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Inside Climate News:

When Peter Else left the University of Arizona in 2005 to live in the San Pedro Valley full time, he planned to spend his retirement farming in one of the most ecologically intact landscapes left in southern Arizona, where the nearby river remains undammed and giant cactuses fill the space between the Galiuro and Rincon mountains. 

But Else, who previously directed the Tucson Area Agricultural Centers at the University of Arizona, soon found himself in the middle of one of the most consequential debates over developing green spaces for green energy. For nearly a decade, he has been fighting the SunZia project—a transmission line connecting 3,000 megawatts of clean energy generated by wind farms in New Mexico to the power grid. The transmission line was routed largely along highways in New Mexico and Arizona but detoured into the San Pedro Valley for roughly 50 miles, cutting through a landscape that for decades avoided most of the impacts of human development. Other routes identified by developers were deemed to have greater negative impacts by federal regulators, while the company said building along existing infrastructure was too costly.  

“I’ve never done anything like that before in my life,” Else said of becoming a citizen intervenor during the Arizona Corporation Commission’s (ACC) permitting process for SunZia, a role that allows citizens impacted by a project to directly participate in its permitting by providing sworn testimony and cross-examining witnesses. “I had no idea what I was getting into.” 

Fifteen years since the project was first proposed and nearly a decade after state regulators began reviewing the project, Else is still involved, suing the ACC, which regulates state utilities, over its issuing of a certificate of environmental compatibility (CEC) to SunZia. The suit argues that the development has fundamentally changed since it was narrowly approved in 2016 and no longer benefits Arizona. 

When SunZia was approved, the project planned to build two side-by-side power lines and connect to a planned substation in Bowie, Arizona. One of the lines built would be an alternating current line, enabling other energy projects in southern Arizona to connect to the grid, while the other would be a direct current line, which doesn’t easily allow for interconnection and is best used for sending large amounts of energy over long distances. But since Pattern Energy purchased the project in 2022, only the DC line is being built after the ACC agreed to separate the permits for both of the lines. The AC line currently lacks the funding to begin construction, and all of the project’s wind energy is slated to be sold in California, where it’s worth more. 

“As a matter of law, the Commission cannot approve a CEC when on one side of the balance is zero (no Arizona purchasers) or noneconomical power, and on the other side is environmental and ecological harm,” the lawsuit reads. “This is an independent reason to remand: the Commission must require Pattern to put on evidence of actual need in Arizona.”

Else’s lawsuit is just the latest in a series of challenges facing SunZia, the biggest renewable energy project in U.S. history, despite construction on the project having already begun. Fights over the development are playing out in state and federal courts. 

Transmission lines are vital to the energy grid and a major component of the transition away from fossil fuels. The lines send energy, often generated in remote places, over long distances, typically to major urban centers. But building them can be a long and tedious process, involving regulators from various states and federal agencies and the consultation and feedback of local and tribal communities, environmental groups and others. 

[batboyblog]

Nagging potential voters while offering them nothing has been a losing political strategy every time it's been tried. If you actually care about wresting political power from fascists - yes I am questioning your commitment - you'll get involved in on-the-ground organizing instead of acting like an asshole online. Because I cannot stress this enough: what you're doing here on tumblr? That hurt us in 2004. And 2016. And a bunch of the off-years too. Knock it off. And before you complain about my tone: I'm using the same one you did in your post. If reading this made you upset, maybe sit for a while and think about the implications of that.

lol, I honestly can't tell you how much this makes me laugh so thanks for the early morning comedy

I don't actually have any idea which of my MANY posts you found and decided to have an issue with.

Any ways, I have a Tumblr, which is mostly non-serious because in real life, my real life my real work is very serious and political and this generally is a decompression space away from that were I can express other interests, US Senators generally don't want to hear my take on comic books (well Pat Leahy....)

I'm not gonna lay out chapter and verse what I've done or do because I'm not doxing myself for an anon troll, but last election I knocked over 2,000 doors for Democratic candidates, I've been pretty open that I was HFA in 2016 and OFA before that

so generally in most of my posts I'm asking, basically begging people, to get as involved as I am, well maybe not AS involved, you don't all need jobs In politics someone has to drive the buses after all. But its very easy as a volunteer to make a huge huge impact on your local Democratic Party and on elections around you and it's amazingly healing to get out and talk to voters, a day of walking around knocking doors and talking to voters will cure you of wanting to dive bomb a strangers in box with nonsense like this.

any ways since I was you know, there, in 2004 and I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume (since you assumed quite a lot about me) We lost that election because the Bush team totally shamelessly claimed our famous war hero candidate had in fact faked his Purple Hearts and hadn't earned his Sliver and Bronze Stars. Also they pretty shamelessly implied that a vote for Democrats was a vote for terrorism and stressed to evangelical voters that they'd ban gay marriage forever and always if Bush won re-election, which I think was very key to pulling Bush over the finish line in Ohio (and the election as a whole)

Not that that matters the "Nagging" narrative is silly, and mainly used by people who want to not feel bad for not voting being engaged. That its somehow Democrats fault for asking them to vote and pointing out the negative things that will happen if Republicans win. Thats how all campaigns since the dawn of time have worked however. All Campaigns are a mix of two things "here are the good things I would like to do" and "here are the bad things my opponent will do if they win" there's no way to campaign without the latter duh.

any ways like I said Tumblr is my silly happy place, but I'm still me, so sometimes I shoot off about the real life topics that matter to me. And here on Tumblr sometimes I can be blunter and ruder than I might on social media linked to my real life, thats not gonna change or anything I'm just saying.

finally I hope everyone gets involved, its fun its easy it makes a big difference, google your city or county and "Democrats" to find a local meeting, Everyone should check out The Sister District project, Swing Left, and Run For Something as I've said else where there are important elections happening all the time, Democrats have a chance to win the Governorship in Mississippi a dear friend of mine is down there right now working that and I couldn't be more proud of his unwavering efforts to blue the south (he helped get Andy Beshear elected in 2018) so random troll anon I hope you're doing more than uh... whatever this is, I'm gonna keep doing my thing.

[thatdeadaquarius]

A TAG GAME?! :O :D !!

✨️💙✨️

♡ 3 Lovely Ships:

Soukoku (i just think theyre so ✨️silly✨️ & couples that are @ war r my fav so- 🥰) also i recently discovered MANGA soukoku??!?!?! like theyre literally

✨️🍒🍑🍓🩹🩸💀🔫🏳️‍🌈🚔🗡🍉🍊🍋✨️ <- this

EraserMic THIS SHIP HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE THE YEAR THE DAMN ANIME CAME OUT, IN THE YEAR OF YOU, OUR CREATOR 2016 I THINK 😭 (sagau ref lol)

IVE LITERALLY CEMENTED THEM SO HARD AS MY GAY DADS THAT I FUCKING FORGOT THEYRE NOT CANON- i get confused when theyre on screen and not more coupley 💀 biggest comfort ship <3

Myself / the near entirety of Genshin Impact Playable Characters LMAOO IM A POLYAMOROUS SL*T IDK WHAT U WANT FROM MEEEE-

♡ First Ship:

Wow, back in ye olden days.. hmm... i wanna say Sasuke/Naruto lmao, I DIDNT REALIZE HUT I HEARD THE WORST NEWS EVER RECENTLY THAT IT WAS ORIGINALLY A BL INSTEAD OF AN ACTION THINGY AND THEY WOULDVE DATED 😭😭

♡ Last Song:

Labour by Paris Paloma! Im so fucking obsessed it just embodies the entirety of Feminine Rage I need- and how hard women work all the fucking time!

(Idk ig this is part of the template but-)

Live, Laugh, Love Hatsune Miku too

@fandangotales lol

♡ Last Movie:

Cocaine Bear!

Kinda cgi gory, mostly gross, sometimes i gagged 😭, watched it in theaters and it was so hilarious tho, the dialogue was like, super natural too! Like realistic jokes i would make in those situations lmao

Hope i can write dialogue that natural one day :O

♡ Currently Reading:

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System!

I fucking love this light novel (AND ITS ARTIST?! I SAW IT IN A BOOKSTORE AFTER KNOWINF THEM OFF TWITTER AND WAS IN SHOCK-)

♡ Currently Watching:

Bungou Stray Dogs & Saving 80,000 Gold In Another World For My Retirement!

♡ Currently Consuming:

Some fucking stellar Boba teas from my local shop in town! I got a sort of strawberry frozen one with whip cream and mango jelly stars + lychee popping pearls And my quintessential Thai Tea w/classic tapioca my beloved <3

Yes... I am a fancy drink bitch 😔, now you all know my secret

♡ Currently Craving:

God who wouldn't I kill for some pasta rn, like penne with the sauce and the cheeseeee UGH 😫 </3

♡ HAHA IM TAGGING:

(no pressure babes!)

@mists-reading-nook (UR SOLDIER/POET/KING WORSHIP IS CONSUMING MY WORLDBUILDING HEART- I CHECK TO SEE IF U EVER POST ANYTHING/POST ABT KING BC ILY UR WRITING SM<3)

@lonelyrosegold (i just found u but i rlly loved ur background music about Linked Universe, which I also just found out about lmao)

@bk-4-trash-fire (the OG, the SUPREME, My Liege 😌✨️ ur actually one of the first ppl that rotred my brain over genshin sagau! Thank u for all ur cool ideas that i may or may not write an entire short story abt some day lmao! The Possession AU i made was partially inspired by you!<3)

@intothegenshinworld (new for me but awesome writer!! I cant wait to see more of ur stuff!)

@chocogi (UR PUPPETEER AU PARTIALLY INSPIRED MY POSSESSION AU! thanks for the cool content!!)

♡

@fandangotales & @undecidingfate

THANK YOU BOTH?! FOR THE TAG 😭 It sounds silly but ive never gotten tagged for these things before & i was so happy to see it ;u; !!

More asks answered/posts to come my fellow zodiac signs!!

Safe travels,

💀♒️

[dangan-kagura]

Why I Love Senran Kagura

I need to use this blog for things besides Danganronpa stuff. Now, for the first time, I’m finally gonna talk about something related to Senran Kagura.

If you’ve never heard of Senran Kagura, it’s a series of anime-based games involving big breasted ninja girls. The theme of the series is of course fanservice and the genre depends on the game, but officially the main games are of the beat ‘em up genre. For this blog, I’m gonna talk about how I got into Senran Kagura, what I love about it, as well as the downside about being a fan of the series in the 2020s.

How I Got Into It

I can’t remember if it was 2016 or 2017, but one of those years was how I found out about it. I went to Youtube and saw someone’s video of Ikaruga’s story in Shinovi Versus. The gameplay is kinda what caught my attention. It was an anime game that wasn’t an RPG. At the time, I had learned about the Neptunia series from the same Youtuber (who closed his account in 2017 I think) and even though Neptunia is a series of RPGs, I wanted to be a part of it because I loved its fanservice moments and its concept of being a parody of the video game industry, so I played their hack ‘n’ slash spinoffs.

Moreover, at the time, I stopped playing Guilty Gear because I couldn’t tolerate how people were favoring Blazblue which I didn’t think was as cool as Guilty Gear, and also because I couldn’t stand to see the fandom obsessed with Bridget. So trying to find a new series to replace Guilty Gear was almost challenging because most anime games aren’t fighting games, for the majority, they’re all RPGs, and nothing came close to what Guilty Gear is like. Senran Kagura however was a beat ‘em up/hack ‘n’ slash game, which were genres that I was more into. As soon as I found out about the theme being fanservice with big breasted anime girls, I probably thought to myself, “Holy shit! I gotta play this game!” By summer 2017, I finally got the opportunity to play Senran Kagura Estival Versus and have been a fan since then.

Now, I’m gonna explain what I love about this series.

1. Gameplay

The main Senran Kagura games are action beat ‘em up games. Its gameplay is similar to games like Dynasty Warriors and Streets of Rage, but without the mission-based stuff from the Warriors series. A key thing is Shinobi Transformation where the girls will change into their ninja outfits and have increased stats and the ability to use Ninja Arts which work like super specials. At the end of each stage, you’ll usually fight one of the other playable girls, and as you do, using Ninja Arts will cause the opponent to strip their clothes. If successful, you could strip your opponent until they're only in their underwear, or even until they're fully nude.

The spinoffs are also interesting. There’s Senran Kagura Bon Appetit which is a rhythm game, Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash which is a third-person shooter involving water guns, Senran Kagura Reflexions which I can’t really describe since it’s not an action game, and Senran Kagura Peach Ball which involves pinball. Out of these four, Bon Appetit and Reflexions are my favorites.

Basically, because of its gameplay and different genres, I saw Senran Kagura as a series that stood out from other anime games, since the majority of them are RPGs.

2. It’s Rated M for Mature

Since stripping is something you’ll see in the series, of course it would have to be rated M by the ESRB. By comparison, most anime games are usually rated T, which feels just as average as playing your typical Japanese RPG that isn’t rated M. Like, I mentioned that I do enjoy certain Neptunia spinoffs, but the fact that the series is rated T wasn’t enough to satisfy me. So because Senran Kagura was rated M, again, I saw Senran Kagura as a series that stood out from other anime games. Strangely, only the first game Senran Kagura Burst, released for the 3DS in 2013 (localized) that game was rated T, so Burst is not quite as explicit compared to the sequels.

I mean, the fanservice in the sequels are a little more explicit. Like, when you strip the girls naked, there’ll be shining lights where their breasts and private area will be. The only time the series ever showed the girls’ breasts was in the OVA. It was quite shocking to me and felt more like I was watching High School DxD. While I do have some taste in fanservice, even I have limits and High School DxD was too much for me to handle. Why would I be into Senran Kagura fanservice? The answer is in the next section.

3. I Hate My Little Pony and Can’t Stand Bronies

This next section is quite longer so heads up.

I’m not ashamed to admit it, I don’t like My Little Pony and don’t take very kindly to that subculture of adult male fans. Now before you come after me ranting that I should at least consider watching Friendship is Magic, I already have 10 years ago and didn’t think it was that good of a show even to this day. Literally, MLP looked like a really cheap kids cartoon.

It’s like this, when I compare My Little Pony to some of my favorite childhood cartoons, like the ones by Klasky Csupo (e.g. Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, Rocket Power, As Told by Ginger) MLP just falls flat for me. Everything from the songs, jokes, writing, animation and art style, it has no appeal to me. And knowing the real kind of target audience that show has, no way in hell would I wanna be an enthusiast for the franchise. Yet it sickens me to see that there is a group of people out there who actually have a thing for it. There’s other things about the show I don’t like, but I’d rather not talk about it here. And I would share my other taste in childhood cartoons, but maybe some other time.

Now you might be wondering, what does this have to do with being a Senran Kagura fan? Easy. To me, Senran Kagura is my way to counter all the brony nonsense I see on the internet. Ever since I learned about bronies in 2014, I only learned about the toxicity they came with, such as making dark humor jokes and fanfics that depict the ponies as serial killers. And it might not be toxic, but I was disgusted from seeing bronies make dubstep remixes of songs from the show. It was so ridiculous, I didn’t wanna trust dubstep nerds out of concern that all dubstep nerds are bronies. Moreover, the majority of bronies don’t seem that interested in other kinds of kids cartoons (except for SpongeBob), by stereotype, bronies would instead talk about their taste in violent video games.

Things only got worse years later. In 2016, every time I went out in public, I saw lots of people wearing shirts that had that mascot guy from the Fallout games. Obviously it was to capitalize on the release of Fallout 4, but I was suspicious that these people were all bronies, because I was aware that there was a Youtube series called Fallout Equestria (or something) which if I’m right depicts the My Little Pony cast in the Fallout series setting. I mean, I probably thought that because I was also aware that there was a pony mod in Skyrim, so in other words, I couldn’t trust fans of either The Elder Scrolls or Fallout due to suspicion that everyone in their fandoms was a brony. The fact that I don’t trust bronies is pretty much the reason why I chose not to play either of those two games.

There was no escape from bronies, they were everywhere on the internet, and I don’t just mean p0rn sites. Later in 2014, I was visiting TASVideos to see tool-assisted speedruns for my favorite classic games. Yet some people on the site were bronies that I didn’t want to interact with. 2015 was the year I learned about Twitch, and sure enough, there were occasions when in the comments, someone would try to put a pony reference and I didn’t think of that person as trustworthy, because I figured that person was your typical brony stereotype, someone who would watch an episode or two for an hour, and afterwards they would play their favorite violent video game. Since then, I’ve done my best to avoid anything related to bronies, even if it was something like avoiding The Living Tombstone’s music.

Basically, ever since I learned about bronies, I lost all faith in humanity. It's one reason why I hated the 2010s. It’s also one reason why I don’t have many friends, because I don’t want to make friends with someone who actually likes to watch a cheap-looking cartoon about ponies that is meant to have a little girl's target audience. But my prayers were answered when I got into Senran Kagura years later, because I knew that it had what a man like me is looking for. I don’t get off on ponies, I get off on big breasted anime girls, and thankfully, I don’t think anyone I’ve met in the Senran Kagura fandom has admitted that they’re bronies, and frankly, I don’t even wanna know. So when someone throws brony or pony shit in my face, I’ll do my best to ignore them and just think of Senran Kagura instead. So long as I’m a Senran Kagura fan, I’ll think to myself that it makes me a better person than bronies. And if you’re a brony reading this, I do apologize if I might’ve offended you or sounded prejudiced.

The Downside About Being a Fan

This won’t be divided into sections, I’ll try to briefly explain the recent downside about being a Senran Kagura fan in the 2020s.

Basically, the series creator/righteous boobage producer, Kenichiro Takaki, left the series’ publishers Marvelous, and it was announced that Senran Kagura 7even was canceled. Why? Well, since 2018, the latest PlayStation games with sexual themes, which mainly includes anime games, have been given censorship regulations. For the localized PS4 release of Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal, a minigame where you can tickle the girls and kiss them ended up getting removed. This new regulation, to my knowledge, caused Senran Kagura 7even to face development hell since they knew that what they intended for the game was not gonna be approved. Fans like me were pretty upset about this.

Currently, the latest game in the series is Senran Kagura Peach Ball, released for the Nintendo Switch in 2019. Since then, there hasn’t been any new kind of announcement for a new installment to replace the unreleased Senran Kagura 7even. But that doesn’t mean new games aren’t being made. In 2020, Kenichiro Takaki released Kandagawa Jet Girls before leaving Marvelous. It has the same fanservice theme Senran Kagura is known for, and I like that it’s a racing game. Of course, the game is rated T so it's been toned down, and unfortunately, it's a stand-alone title so there isn't a sequel. And in 2021, Senran Kagura got to have a crossover game with Neptunia. While it doesn’t have a lot of characters, it’s probably my favorite Neptunia spinoff, I say Neptunia because Idea Factory, not Marvelous, own the publishing rights, not to mention the setting is more related to the Neptunia universe. The only other latest news regarding Senran Kagura comes from the Japan only mobile gacha game Senran Kagura New Link. Since it probably won't have a localized release, obviously I don’t get a lot of news about it (to my knowledge, the latest update for New Link includes a crossover special with Azur Lane).

Getting back to the reasons I got into Senran Kagura, some of them are for the same reasons I got into Danganronpa. For that series, I love its gameplay (the class trials I mean), the fanservice and the series being rated M. With Senran Kagura not doing well recently, I really hoped that getting into Danganronpa would be a new kind of love. Boy was I wrong, the Danganronpa fandom was not what I was expecting it to be. I thought fans would have the same point of view as me and were into things like the fanservice and which girls were their waifus. Instead, the fandom would make headcanons that certain characters were gay, and before I knew it, the most popular Danganronpa ships involve either yaoi or yuri, any straight ship just gets a ton of hate.

Not only that, but there have been recent occasions on TikTok where I would meet a western Danganronpa fan who is also a brony. As I said, I do my best to ignore those kinds of people and just think of Senran Kagura. Yet the fact that Senran Kagura isn’t doing so well makes it hard for me nowadays. Not only was Senran Kagura my remedy from having to deal with bronies, but I now like to think of Senran Kagura as a remedy from having to deal with all the Doki Doki Literature Club nonsense I’ve been seeing in the Danganronpa fandom. I’ve already written a rant about just how terribly awful DDLC is, yet I didn’t think the game would be THAT popular in the west. It makes no sense to me that today’s gamers and otakus (at least in the west) would think that a visual novel about suicidal anime girls would be something enthusiastic. It’s not, suicide is not okay and should not be enthusiastic!

I mean, chances are, it’s probably gonna be like that no matter what kind of anime fanbase I end up joining in the future. Like, if I get into a new kind of series and find out that the majority of fans are making memes using DDLC references, that’s not cool to me and it might make me lose trust in the anime subculture. Heck, I’m not even sure if there are people in the brony subculture making My Little Pony memes using the DDLC setting. That’s just fucking toxic and it’s enough to make me think that DDLC fans are no better people than bronies. Me? I don’t get off on ponies and I don’t get off on suicidal anime girls. I get off on big breasted anime girls. If I had to choose between seeing the DDLC girls kill themselves by stabbing themselves multiple times with knives or seeing Katsuragi sexually harass her classmates in Senran Kagura via groping, I would much rather see Katsuragi grope the other girls. Yet because Senran Kagura doesn’t have a new installment, it makes it hard for me to counter DDLC’s western popularity.

Even so, at least Neptunia is still doing well. I mean, I’m trying my best to not get too involved with that series’ fandom. Like, I don’t want to come across anything hateful regarding Neptunia ReVerse having some censorship issues. I mean, the later games after that one don’t have any other issues, and frankly, I’d rather not find out. But even so, it’s not a big fandom like with Danganronpa, but at least I haven’t met anyone who calls themself a brony. And seeing cute girls transform in magical girls is still and always will be better than watching cute girls commit suicide. So if I wanted, I could use Neptunia as another remedy to deal with bullshit from either bronies or DDLC, but even with Neptunia still going strong, it doesn’t come close to being as sexy as Senran Kagura.

Overall, I love Senran Kagura no matter what is happening to it right now. Yet being a fan of the series in the 2020s has become difficult for me. There aren’t any new games, and in terms of what other anime games are out there, they don’t come close to what Senran Kagura is like. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop playing the series. I’ll still play my favorite installments and spinoffs no matter what happens to this series.

[lgbtawarenessproject]

Part 8: Namibia, Fiji, Vanuatu, Tonga, Tuvalu

Some these are really short, I wasn't able to find a lot of information on them. I am, admittedly, only doing a surface search to save time, but still.

(Also I'm limiting how much time I spend writing them)

I did add Namibia to this one, and Zimbabwe links will be at the bottom.

-Soul

Namibia

While Namibia does criminalize homosexuality by men, it does have a pride celebration.

Namibia’s pride celebration began in December 2013, and was run by Out-Right Namibia in Windhoek. Approximately 100 people showed up, a mix of black and white citizens. This was a historical moment, not just because it was pride, but because as Linda Baumann explained, “there is a gap between the two communities in the country and it was historic; a mixture of our communities getting together”. Marchers in the celebration carried signs saying things like “Up with love, down with hate” and “Dare to be different”. The organization was given permission to hold this event by the Windhoek government, and was provided with four police officers to protect them. There were protestors at pride, but the majority accepted it.

This event was a large step forward for Namibia queers, but there is still plenty they are working towards. In 2018, a gay couple, one of which was from Namibia, the other from South Africa, won a case to immigrate their son to Namibia, but earlier this year(2023), it was repealed by the supreme court. Namibia continues to fight back, but the government resists.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Fiji

Over all, LGBT rights in Fiji are decent. In February of 2010, homosexuality became legal, and in 2018, they had their first pride. However, gay marriage is still illegal, and anti-discrimination laws are lacking.

Talking about pride in Fiji, it was approved by the local government, and was escorted by police. Presumably to protect it. More importantly though, it was the first pride march in any Pacific Island. That isn’t to say it came easy though, in 2012 a pride celebration was planned in one of the bigger cities in Fiji. It was, unfortunately, canceled by the police. It was attempted again afterwards, but they had no success until doing it in a small town in 2018. The pride was organized by the Rainbow Pride Foundation.

In 2016, former Prime Minister Frank Bainimarama said that all LGBTI people in Fiji should move to Iceland. Also in 2016, the military was very loud with its homophobia, and according to one advocate who married his husband in a different country, if his relationship had been found out they would have been taken to the barracks.

There is a long going fight in Fiji concerning the safety of LGBT+ people. There are high rates of violence against them, and they feel unsafe going to the police. Rabuka, the current Prime Minister, has made no statements.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Vanuatu

Homosexuality is legal in Vanuatu, and they have a form of pride that is not the traditional march. Vanuatu pride is run by V-Pride, an LGBT+ organization. Every year since 2020, V-Pride has run a fashion show. In 2021, six designers showed more than 80 outfits to over 500 guests. In a historic moment, Honorable Ralph Regenvanu spoke at this event. He talked about how important it is to talk about V-Pride and its contributions to fashion and society, and about the importance of Vanuatu reaching its obligations, both nationally and internationally, to leave no one behind.

V-Pride offers testing for STI’s and information.

Sources: 1 2 3

Tonga

In May of 2021, the president of Tonga Leitis Association was murdered. They were described as  “a selfless humanitarian and a tireless advocate for the rights of those with diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions.” by the association. Polikalepo Kefu was a well respected individual in the community, and spoke for people all through the Pacific Islands. The association was created 1992 and specifically advocates for trans and otherwise gender variant people in Tonga. They provide healthcare, and services to people with AIDS/HIV.

In 2018, a rugby player named Israel Folau spoke against homosexuality. In response, Honorable Frederica Tuita Felipe sent out several tweets.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Tuvalu

While Tuvalu was a signatory in 2011 to end violent homophobia and transphobia, and representatives sat in on a campaign by the UN to end Homophobia and Transphobia, it’s still illegal. Kind of. Tuvalu laws specifically only prohibit men from having sex with each other. Tuvalu does have a transfeminine identity called Pinapinaaine, and Canada sent a report to Tuvalu about how their laws can be fixed to accommodate queer people in 2014. 

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Zimbabwe

Links: 1 2 3 4 5 6 Please note these are links to articles I was going to use as a starting point for research.

Part 1

Part 7&lt;-Announcement->Part 9

Please support this project by checking out the LGBT+ Identities and Experiences survey in our link tree! Also, a full description of this project is being posted in our discord!

Pride Month Calendar for this project

Tell me in replies if you want to be tagged!

[wozman23]

2024 Music in Review: My Favorite Songs

Spotify Wrapped is here, but mine is only a small glimpse of what I listen to, and how I listen to it. Sure, as singles release, I do usually turn to Spotify, or YouTube, to listen. But once an album is out, the vast majority of my listening happens via the iPod connect to my car stereo on my 25-60+ minute commutes to and from work (depending on how early I wrap up my day - no pun intended). And on PC I still prefer Winamp. I only tolerate iTunes because having every song I've ever loved, stored locally, on a simple device that interfaces with my car stereo has never been trumped.

So here's a small sampling of what Spotify and iTunes say I listened to most.

Note: at a certain point this year, iTunes scrubbed my complete history of play counts (I bought a new PC and probably loaded a different backup of the files from a different drive, plus iTunes always gives me a fight when synching my modded iPod.) Otherwise, there would still be a lot of plays from Fair to Midland, Lions at the Gate, Fire from the Gods, Voyager, and some of the other early albums from the year or late last year.

First off, as favorites go, it was a sweep this year:

Artist of the Year: Linkin Park

Album of the Year: From Zero

Song of the Year: "Good Things Go" (debatable with many of the other From Zero songs)

"IGYEIH" by Linkin Park:

I talked about "Good Things Go" elsewhere before, as well as iTunes' most played song, "Stained" so here's "IGYEIH." If I have one criticism of it, it is that I wish Colin would have leaned even more into the bass drum with a barrage of sixteenth note kicks as the phrases end ("wishful thinking, drowning, sinking, left with nothing left, I give you everything I have!")

"I Don't Know How We Got Here" by VOLA:

My second favorite song (excluding LP songs) is up for debate. But let's give it to VOLA with "I Don't Know How We Got Here." It's a hauntingly smooth, catchy track with some interesting imagery. And Adam Janzi is one of the smoothest guys behind a drumset, effortlessly working around his kit with perfect precision on a song that somehow both feels somewhat simple yet percussively complex. So here he is playing through the track.

VOLA's full album is another latecomer to 2024 which is why their iTunes play count is still lacking. I loved all the singles, but I'm still forming an opinion on the complete album, and it doesn't get as much love with LP on constant repeat.

"Last dAntz" by Alien Ant Farm:

Alien Ant Farm came back! That wasn't on my bingo card. A lot of people call them a one hit wonder, and really only know them for a cover song. I was a huge fan of their first two albums. "Movies," "Attitude," "Wish," "Summer," "Goodbye," and "1000 Days" are all worthy of your time. Later, "Homage" was a beautiful song honoring music. Their new album is just as eccentric as their older albums, sometimes to its detriment, but one song stands out as possibly their best song ever: "Last dAntz." It reminds me a lot of the heart of "Homage." Dryden's vocals and phrasing are still really cool. And the chorus kills! I really didn't latch on to the album, and I gravitate towards groups with albums that I enjoy from start to finish, but every time I turn on this song, I'm really, really impressed.

"Your Last Breath" by Overhead, The Albatross:

If you'd have asked me last year, "What's your favorite song of all time?" I'd have blurted out "Big River Man by Overhead, The Albatross!" I found them in 2016, deep in my quest to explore post-rock. And I've been hooked ever since. No one composes like them. Describing them as post-rock almost feels silly. They exist on a different plane. They'll make 10 minute songs that never overstay their welcome. They've got the elements of a typical rock band. And some great synths and programming. But they'll also bring in sax players. Choral singers. Do some spoken word stuff. And hell, they'll even bang on the rungs of ladders. Sometimes you'll find a driving motivation in their work, yet other times you'll hypnotically zone out in the atypically metered polyrhythms. You'll find moments of sadness and joy in equal measure. They're a one of one. You simply won't find anything quite like them. They went silent for a while through the pandemic. But thankfully they're back. And they also put out a new album last month. And now when you ask me my favorite song I'm no longer sure. It might still be "Big River Man" but it just might be "Your Last Breath."

Putting them this far down this list feels criminal. And even in typing this, maybe this should even be my Song of the Year. Let's call it my "Indie Song of the Year."

However, I've sang this one's praises before. I've posted this song on two occasions: on it's release as a single, and the day the album came out.

I know they're off the beaten path. And I know some people are offput by a 9:07 song that isn't driven by lyrics. But the fact that this video has been on YouTube for 8 months and has only amassed 3500 views feels like music's biggest travesty.

If there are two things I'm ecstatic about in music this year, it's the return of Linkin Park and Overhead, The Albatross. They're both back in my list of favorite artists.

"Antihero" by We Are The Catalyst:

I've followed We Are The Catalyst since 2014 when I stumbled upon their debut LP. I've praised them many times over the years as well. Now, five LPs deep, after releasing a steady stream of singles, they've compiled them all for Friction. They've long been a Linkin Park-esque stand-in for me. Created by the Swedish sweethearts, Cat and Kenny, they share a lot of similar elements to LP. And they've come a long way from the early days of utilizing programmed drums. Through it all they've held on to Cat's great vocals, Kenny's growls and screams, and a whole lot of synths. But I'm always most impressed with the fact that Kenny produces everything himself, in-house. "Antihero" is easily the standout from Friction, but it's got a lot of good stuff.

"STARCHILD" by COSMODROME:

COSMODROME is actually somewhat similar to We Are The Catalyst, but they were a new discovery for me via Spotify's recommendations. I'm always looking for more band like STARSET, which basically became a favorite after craving more bands like Linkin Park. COSMODROME is basically German STARSET. Much like We Are The Catalyst, you can tell English isn't their primary language. And there's something really interesting about that. These guys only have singles, so I do actually use Spotify to listen to them, which is why the appear in the Top 5 list. They aren't on my iPod yet, but the day they release an album, they will be.

"DEGENERATE" by STARSET:

Speaking of STARSET, they're putting out singles. They've all been great at adding new layers to Dustin's vocals. "TokSik" has a fun message, and an equally as fun rap-ish section. "Brave New World" introduced us to STARSET dropping f-bombs, which I'm still kind of mixed on. But the track I've liked most so far is "DEGENERATE," largely for it's anti-AI messaging, but mainly because its got that new, low, throaty vocal from Dustin (Down, down, down, down, down, It's a race to the bottom.") You'll see Downplay, Dustin's former band, listed as a top artist, because I was listening to them a lot early in the year to familiarize myself with his past work. Prior to my iTunes, reboot, you'd have seen a lot of STARSET too. I can't wait for what's next!

"Animal Soul" by AURORA:

Last year, the music from Alan Wake II consumed me. This year, the song from gaming that did that was AURORA's "Animal Soul" which closed out Senua's Saga: Hellblade II. I really want to find more stuff like this and the haunting Alan Wake electro-pop-ish stuff, but I don't know how to find it or where to look. As far as this song goes, from what I understand this was a song AURORA never really recorded a studio version for. Then Ninja Theory commissioned her to record it for Hellblade. It's simply beautiful. I assume with its almost exactly 3 minute length - that feels as if it ends way too soon - it was perhaps written for Eurovision. I'm so thankful for these two worlds coming together. Otherwise I'd probably never have heard this gem.

Honorable Mentions, many of which I've posted before:

Young Lion - Non-Believer (an old find through Spotify)

Greywind - Here's Your Deathwish (and their entire EP)

Abandon Pools - Amazing Days

"I Don't Need Anyone" and almost the entire Hell Side of Sum 41's last album

And plenty of carry over from last year from bands like Fire From the Gods, Voyager, Lions at the Gate, blink-182, and perennial favorites, Fair to Midland.

[naturecoaster]

Gratitude - noun, the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Thanksgiving is always a time to remember what makes life worth living. November 22, 2018, was no exception. It had been a particularly blessed year for me and NatureCoaster.com. We were voted as the best local/events blog by the Florida blogging convention, FLBlogCon, its members, yourselves, and many others in September. I still cannot express what a thrill that is for me. I love Florida's Nature Coast. To be able to share the beauty of this area - naturally, culturally, and personally is an honor for me. We have really grown since our state-wide award. Where NatureCoaster.com Came From This journey began a long time before NatureCoaster.com was started in 2014. In fact, I used to publish a printed magazine about what was happening in the area that was distributed in hotel rooms throughout Citrus, Hernando, Pasco, and Levy Counties. We printed quarterly, and I wrote the articles, sold the ads, created the ads, sent the bills, laid out the pages, ordered the printing, picked up the books, delivered them to the hotel rooms, and did collections when necessary. It was a popular magazine with the hotels, but I ended up having to close in 2010, after the Gulf oil spill. Diane Bedard accepts the Sunshine Blog Award for best Local/Events Blog at FLBlogCon in September 2018. I met so many good people when I was publishing the magazine: small business owners, tourism development professionals, nature lovers, nonprofit executives, local government officials who all loved the area and wanted to work together to celebrate its wonder. Many became friends. For that I am grateful. Along with the devastation of losing a business I had developed for seven years, I acquired my first horse - the accumulation of a lifelong dream. I felt like God had given me the fulfillment of my dream to help balance the pain of losing another one. For that I am grateful. I never want to lose my faith. I worked a few freelance jobs. It was very time difficult for me. I had lost my confidence and did not know how we were going to make ends meet in our household with three teenagers and several pets. We had moved to Brooksville in 2005 and the community welcomed our family. My Work is Part of Me; I am not just my Work I was forced to depend on God for my daily needs during this time. It was reinforced over and over that I was not my work. My work did not define me. This was a major shift in thinking for me. I had always felt work was a defining part of who I was. Still, with my pride regularly stripped away, I had to change my thinking. It was painful, but it was for the best and I am grateful for the shift in focus. I did some freelance work for some of the advertisers and friends I had made along my journey on the Nature Coast, but still hadn't found my "place." In August of 2013, I nearly lost my life. After months in the hospital, then rehab where I learned to walk and write again, I went home in December. Another surgery and I was designated to a chair for recovery at home. Nurses came three times a week and I got stronger. My head cleared. Now what? February 2014, with my skinny, short-haired self. A friend suggested it, and I decided to take the magazine online. I still loved Florida's Nature Coast. The people are friendly. The pace is slow. The small businesses make up communities. The nature abounds, both sea and forest. I taught myself to use WordPress and went about creating a site. I needed a name, a logo, something to take my mind off the terrible trouble of the past year. NatureCoaster.com: It's a Magazine, It's a Directory, It's a Project In April 2014, I started NatureCoaster.com from my living room, where I am typing this today. I met a lady who had a very successful blog called Authentic Florida and she mentored me. She suggested that I attend the 2016 FLBlogCon, and I learned a lot there, went back in 2017, and in 2018 NatureCoaster.com won a coveted Sunshine Blog award from them. Diane Bedard, founder of NatureCoaster.com, received awards from the Florida Outdoor Writers Association in August 2017, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. She also suggested that I join the Florida Outdoor Writers Association, and after accumulating enough paid writing gigs to qualify, I promptly won two Excellence in Craft awards at the 2017 annual convention in Ocala. I worked with the Pasco Tourism office to develop a brochure for them. I worked with the Citrus County Tourism office to write for their annual Visitors Guide for a few years. I wrote the most popular blog post on their website (for several years). I gained confidence in my writing ability and am comfortable saying, "I am an award-winning professional writer." I was published in the Times twice! For that I am grateful. NatureCoaster.com Wins Awards and so do I So, in 2018, I committed to only work on NatureCoaster.com. With the guidance of a mentor from SCORE, it became obvious that the only way to make NatureCoaster really work was to work it with conviction. I hired an agency to redesign the logo, and the website, and to improve the website monthly reach and increase the SEO. Another growing pain: delegating work. NatureCoaster.com reached over 30,000 viewers last month, we have over 3,000 e-zine subscribers, and many partners and advertisers who believe in what we do. Our mission to unite people with the awesomeness that is Florida's Nature Coast is being realized, and YOU are a part of it. One becomes Two MaeBelle and Genesis in April 2018. My horse died unexpectedly in February 2018. I did not know how much that could hurt. It still hurts. In April, I became aware of a group of feral horses who had been rescued in the Gainesville area via Facebook. I began following the group without too much involvement. The story was heartening. I saw a very pregnant mare who had the most adorable filly... I watched. I healed. I asked if anyone had spoken up for them and was told I should come and meet them. Now I have two horses: Mae Belle and Genesis. It was a lot to take on, but I have felt the blessing of knowing that I am helping creatures heal while they are healing me. For that I am thankful. Pushing through Pain, Forgiving Myself, and Continuing to Grow In the past several years, I have had surgery that stopped me in my tracks and my body is showing the signs of aging, being overweight, and trauma. I am now learning about balancing my body's abilities and my mind's plans. Honestly, managing pain has been taking too much of my brainpower this year. Still, NatureCoaster continues to grow. We have a new salesperson working with us, Susan Shipp of Drunken Pirate Tours. Susan is a tenth-generation Citrus County resident with a chronic entrepreneurial spirit. We are working on Pub Crawls and Progressive Dinner packages to add more value to our offerings for local partners, again uniting people with the awesomeness of what is here. Our ad for the NatureCoaster.com 10th Anniversary Celebration to benefit the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation. It was great! We celebrated ten years of NatureCoaster.com in April at the Masaryk Winery with live music by the Sarasota Slim Band, food from Suzy's Cafe at the Winery, a paint party by Traveling Art Parties, and a fundraiser with the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation. It was a helluva party and raised over $1,100 for the Foundation while pulling together many NatureCoasters and our businesses who contributed items to the silent auction. Gratitude makes life Great Nearly 25 years ago. This photo was taken by my dad who is no longer on this earth, but here we are. During all of this turmoil, my family has been loving, supportive, and giving. The teenagers have turned into adults. They have found their way. As you read this, I am on a Holland America cruise ship with my mother who was born in 1939. We decided to take a transatlantic cruise while we still can. My husband is visiting his mother in South Carolina. Our children are celebrating with their friends. I could go on and on because gratitude is an attitude and it makes life wonderful. May you be richly blessed in the holiday season and may you be a blessing to others as you journey on your path. Feel free to add your stories to the comments for this holiday. Read the full article

[queenofallwitches]

THE REALITY OF WALKING THE HIGH PRIESTESS PATH: MADNESS & MYSTICISM

when reality is truly stranger than fiction

26/12/2022:

As of now, I've been off all MIND ALTERING medications since march 2022 (its December 2022 and I just discharged from 3-4 weeks in a mental health clinic so I AM NOT CRAZY OR PSYCHOTIC AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS.

I am evaluated as being, sane, although traumatised with complex ptsd and chronic dissociation and emotional trauma, but lucid with reality. JUST TO CLARIFY. I am sober and free from all mind-altering medications outside of clonidine and agomelatin (one is a blood pressure med with adhd helping properties and the other regulates sleep cycles and may also help depression but its basically like melatonin)and that’s the mildest thing ever so I have never been so chemically free, everyone can go and die. I'm lucid. I'm angry. I'm real. I'm taling.

From July or august I was waiting to get into <redacted>

In september they told us, he is no longer treating adult patients, and instead I would be seeing a "dr or a dr<redacted>"??

FLIP THE NAME OF THIS DR IN STRANGER THINGS TO REVEAL A REAL PSYCHIATRIST WHO ATTEMPTED TO RUIN MY LIFE THROUGH HIS BLACK LODGE CONNECTIONS, like I said, you cannot make this up.  

As per above the name is synonymous with a dr on the netflix series "Stranger Things' who worked at Hawkins energy lab in the 'Rainbow Room' with eleven. (the rainbow room was a trauma memory I had return post-EMDR in 2016 that led to a real-life local rainbow room near a childhood area I spent time in during childhood

I found this rainbow room BEFORE STRANGER THINGS CAME TO BE (2017)

the wiki for stranger things doesn't mention it until 2021

SO IMAGINE WHEN IT CAME OUT AFTER I FOUND THE RAINBOW ROOM IN REAL LIFE A FEW MONTHS LATER, I swear it was in the first season. so I was watching it FREAKING OUT SEEING THE REALITY OF WHERE A FLASHBACK LED ME (I CHASED MY MEMORIES INTO REAL-LIFE RABBIT HOLES)

what I found was really unpleasant so I digress I only watched the show because my ex was with me when I found the rainbow room in reality, told me there was a rainbow room in stranger things and because I was so needing validation for my crazy memories coming back, I went full steam ahead watching it to see if there was any mention. there was but not until seasons later.

I will no longer name where or what due to the liability of being under attack for speaking the ABSOLUTE facts. But I can give ALLUSIONS.

The rainbow room in my life where I followed my trauma memories by driving to where my memory drove me, led to this place being uncovered. it was not the worst thing I discovered, so that can give reference to how horrific that time period of memory integration was for me.

Filmed on a gopro in 2017 after a therapy exercise gone wrong. the rainbow room in Stranger Things was revealed after my discovery of the rainbow room in my personal life.

Saved on a hard drive with a myriad of other evidence

It could always be the meaningless coincidence, as they taught us in research methodology "correlation does not always equal causation".

Synopsis: The psychiatrist had the reversed name of doctor from a show based on MK-ULTRA subprojects in 80s and both pre and post the scope of that show.

<redacted> real life appointed psychiatrist was also involved in legal and forensic psychiatry.

A specific field that usually tends to work with legal, criminal psychiatry with what I am making an intuitive guess is a similar leaning to how criminology leans into forensic psychology.

So one could posit, a forensic psychiatrist, being a medical doctor, deals with criminal clients or clients with extensive legal/court/forensic matters. A family court case of custody of children comes to mind, but also, habitual criminals who also have mental health issues are probably within the scope of his client base.

He may also be trained to treat professionals within the legal system such as judges, magistrates, lawyers, solicitors, case workers, social workers, correction officers, court administrative staff, and other professions that come in the scope of justice NSW.

As I started off, I am merely speculating what a forensic psychiatrist who is working in the position of medical director of a private mental health hospital, may have a background in aside from general adult psychiatry.

I recall a friend having to go through court for this xanax induced crime in 2011, having a forensic psychiatrist write an analysis of his perception of what was "wrong" with my friend. I am sure, this is a common task they are assigned to do in that specialisation.  

So what does this have to do with me, a woman who has a minor criminal record ending in 2011 with a small offence of possession of substances that are all now legal in 2011..

My criminal history is otherwise: shoplifting age 15, shoplifting with no goods with a friend age 17, shoplifting a 73 cent pack of tic tacs and being charged and humilated by police at<redacted> car park in april 2011, which later was thrown out of the courtroom on the morning of the case. i am open because I am not ashamed of things I did as a teenager in an alter consciousness. The drugs were not mine and the blades were used to cut myself. I had stitches in my wrist at the time for self harm, and what the police did by having me in handcuffs for 2 hours goes against protocol and is probably illegal.

I have only ever had to report 1 sexual assault and had 1 AVO both being convinced going to police to report this was the right thing to do, as a victim and survivor

I had my parents call the police on me but due to my mental health I would never be charged or arrested only sent to the local psychiatric unit at the public hospital, which is normal for mental health cases I think.

So why did the forensic psych want me as his client, given my absence of all criminal, civil, legal and forensic issues.

I can theorise, and my theories again, could be upsetting if correct but also sound mentally deranged given my status.

again, we are in the realm of speculation, which is fine to entertain ideas without accepting them as absolutes.

this is merely a contemplative exercise to reflect on the chaos that has been the previous 2 years when I have been in a social dynamic that is "online" and how it somehow managed to link back to the childhood pedophile network of my origin despite me going internationally to elude this.

this is why speculation and being OBJECTIVE can be valuable.

I will now allude to my practice of spirituality

I will allude to events of 2021, focusing in on APRIL-JUNE EVENTS. NO NOT THE SECOND LOCKDOWN.

I will allude to the unveiling of particular links between paedophilia, which is a horrible and unnatural genetic disease and defect, and pseudo faux occult groups who use the symbols of other occultists to promote the agenda to push pedophilia into mainstream "LGBTIQ" movements.

We know, for those with eyes to see, souls to perceive and a past that has burnt truths deep into the brain and body although consciously, it's hard to piece a linear memory of that time of ritual abuse together, but it happened.

So a lot of legal people work in positions of power in the industry of law, especially in the state where it allows civil law to set precedent for all other states.

Case law allows one person to sue another person and is all about hearsay, I know or care nothing due to how banal it is.

But basic legal studies taught me that once it is set in precedent,all cases similar are given a context to outcome across both criminal and civil jurisdictions, on all levels of court.

In the case of my recent unveiling, my sequence of dreams of a cloaked group of psychiatrists hiding in a lecture hall doing a ritual I was NOT supposed to see, and being shocked I could see it, my theories are only that. No facts, just ideas.

You can see where I am going with this.

 I APOLOGISE THAT I HAVE TO BE CRYPTIC, but I will reveal more as time passes and I can absolutely reveal things with momentum

I am still in the process of integrating the lost time from the dissociative period of 2021, after all the shit I went through prior, I had not lost actual time or space until December 2021 since roughly December 2008. that SPEAKS FUCKING VOLUMES.

Do you think this allegedly pervasive inner upper echelon group of occult practitioners wanted me to find out about, hell no. its secret; but due to the imposter to redacted>, liar, fake and fraud, calling herself <redacted>and paying a<redacted><redacted> to do spells for her, we started to understand a link between her and a political secret occult order based from AU POLITICAL CAPITAL.

i am familiar with signs, symbol, sigil, ciphers and grimoire codex messages that activate my amygdala and primal parts of my brain, in a way that signals programming from earlier in my life when things were "against my own volition".

i know when the memories are triggered because looking at other things in photos or things with context that is proven now activated the same fear/adrenaline/adrenochrome charge of cortisol flooding my sympathetic nervous system, that rush of pure fucking fight or flight or freeze or faun that comes in its more severe, a structural dissocative state that creates fragmented parts of the psyche to survive the unsurviable, which was essentially the first 11 or so years of my life on earth. if not more maybe 15 ish, I was here and there, in and out as I was older, some memories I've never lost, so I've always had a co-conscious aspect which is my complex trauma vs dissociative identity disorder sliding spectrum. dissociation is a sliding scale, it was severe, and then it became less so until I lost time again in may 2021, when I was pushed out for magickal trauma being inflicted by an event I will detail in due time.

i do however have many parts which I've been working hard to integrate since 2017, in mass retrival mode.

Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be found, perhaps I do not care to whistle blow, but given she was affiliated and could be still a double agent, to stop further discovery of this, the best thing to do was take away my executive function.

Knowing they are linked to a lot of legal careers, it would not be outside the realm of possibility, they have extended contacts in psychiatry , what business would a FORENSIC PSYCHIATRIST HAVE BEING IN CHARGE OF A PRIVATE LUX MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC?

PEDOPHILE VIP PROTECTION IN CLIENTS KNOWN AS PEDOPHILES BOTH OFFENDERS AND CONVICTED, AND NON OFFENDERS, AS IT PROMOTES INCLUSIVITY

GATEKEEPING THE VICTIMS

SUBTLY EMPOWERING THE PEDOPHILE OFFENDERS/CHILD ATTRACTED PATIENTS, TO PROMOTE HOW 'THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE WITH BAD URGES'.

WE KNOW THEY DON’T GET LONG IN PRISON, WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM? IF THEY ARE RICH OF COURSE THEY GET TREATMENT, AND I HAVE MET 6 IN MY TIME OF THE <redacted>

redacted THE FAKE LESBIAN, A BIPOLAR CLIENT, ENDED UP ADMITTING TO BEING ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN.

Her mom worked at a school she did too sometimes, leading me to cover the education department, media, and all realms of influential upper-middle class - upper class social areas around that clinic that may be full of offenders who cannot be in prison, and need a place to be in a double bind experiment to prove to the society "pedos can be reformed".

I do not agree, will never accept or tolerate this notion

Buy my theory is only based on things outside the scope of what and why a person is talking to a psychiatrist. ?

You see, I know more than most patients.

Not that im so smart or wise, infact, I downplay my intelligence with neurological deficits such as ADHD comorbid with cptsd which was revolving s lot from being A VICTIM of the same pedophiles these treatment centres protect.

Nobody will ever admit that to me, nor would I say anything because I know that is a recipe for disaster.

What would come between him accepting me, my dreams and my 10 year treating psychiatrist unexpectedly discarding me?

A doctor who knows how to use legal and medical terminologhy to manipulate, persuade, threaten, convince and use the power of "PSYCH DOC" vs "MENTAL ILL PATIENT"

To sow seeds of discord, distrust and dislike in redacted and likely built a dossier, because of my behaviour last year due to the mask issue, about being all things that are not true, and playing on what doubts she may have of me.

The thing is, he already knew what would happen because this was set up before I had even been told I had to see her for a referral.

Setting me up, for failure, further pain, trauma, rejection, and other things.

The medication no longer matters because I am not going to be controlled by this hidden hand, the issue is, the enemy is operating in ways, I cannot see, and if I cant see it, why do I mind? Sending me into medication paranoia would serve a purpose far more beneficial than me not knowing what they are doing at all. Ignorance is bliss.

<redacted>

I have a feeling dr SO> has told her this, and she has developed this idea from his "expert" forensic analysis based on my case files.

I have a feeling, and am writing this to log it, so in future, I can see what happened, how it may have been caused and what can be done moving on?

I went to the <redacted>, the next day REDACTED>  MY abusive ex turns up. I don’t care if this is accidental, he wouldn’t even know, but my roommate has a high connected job and tells me yes. he did have a court case in Downing Center recently.  

He was there and was kicked out the morning I decided to leave to ente REDACTED after the CEO OF TREDACTEDD WENT TO OF <REDACTED>TO SECURE MY ADMISSION

THE ADMIN GIRL TOLD ME REDACTED WAS KICKED OUT OVER ME, all REDACTEF>staff confirmed to me when I reentered on the 8th THIS WAS A LIE

AND WHY WOULD SHE EVEN KNOW?

imagine if your ex who molested and raped you 100sof times turned up to a place you were supposed to get rehabiliated?

let alone at the same time of year a decade later from the place that 'saved' you from him first, now they push him at you showing you how fucking messed up life is, because you are no longer safe and the therapist who you showed your vulnerability too, knows your secrets and will stop at nothing to ULTIMATELY DESTROY YOU KICKING YOU WHEN YOU ARE DOWN.

if by accident, then the universe is fucking ironic in a nasty way

At this point, something strange is happening because despite the ceo and my psychiatrist at the REDACTEDreferal. REDACTEDREJECTED my admission, never happened to me before.

I had to then return to the <REDACTED>, completed 15 days, which is basically 25 days all up, counting the first attempt where my x shows up

I did the program, finished up before Christmas, and returned home, but nothing has really changed. They changed my medications to:

Melatonin 4 mg

Clonidine 2mg at night

SO ALLEGEDLY FOR ADHD BUT ONLY USEFUL FOR CONJUNCT USE WITH A STIMULANT

VALDOXAN, yet refused to get my liver enzyme test when I requested it despite it causing me elevated enzymes in 2013

30 mg diazapam a day

20 mg of temazapam at night

1 ferrograd c in the morning

So he offered me A WAKEFULNESS DRUG FOR NARCOLEPSY CALLED:

modafinil, I said ok,BUT IT WAS $250 FOR 28 DAYS TABLETS, AND NOT EVEN PROVEN TO HELP ADHD LET ALONE CHEMICALLY SIMILAR TO ANYTHING PROVEN.

 then he refused to give new meds unless it was a mood stabiliser ALONE.

 Illogical given absence of mania.

My discharge paper says depression, which I do not have. COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS

and ADHD untreated can mimic clinical depression but environment immediately change affect.

The first dx sheet says:

Cptsd

Adhd

BPD-11 I assume that’s bipolar 2, despite never being manic

Panic disorder

redacted clinic dx 2021 dx sheet says

ADHD- neurological

CPTSD, STRESS, ATTACHMENT DISORDER

Polysubstance use disorder (what, don’t you treat these things with substances and usually the more dx the more meds?)

So that’s the iceberg, nothing is resolved aside from my own inner things I shall not even permit to be shared.

I know what to do, but the obstacles are unending.

I know how to do things, but the enemy seems to gain momentum from my meds being messed with. I am resolved to be ok, this is my life, lets just forget medication and work out how to get off it all. It will take a LONG time, and long could mean another 6-10 yr.

So they can only keep me if they give me a helpful medication, for adhd, and I will comply, if not, why would I take anything bar the melotonin and continue on holistic?

Nothing. I am chemically free.

This is my mind off medication, see, I can piece together the hidden clues and work the secrets they hide out.

This is why they hide me away from the world.

I haven't had anything considered mind altering or unprescribed since MARCH LAST YEAR. Aside from an array of ALCOHOL AND SEDATIVES. TO TRY AND SWITCH OFF MY RACING MIND WHICH IS NOW NEUROLOGICALLY DIAGNOSED BY A BRAINSCAN AS A NEURODEVELOPMENT DISORDER 'ADHD & CPTSD' and has relied on chemical substituted concoctions for over a decade to be functional in society.

I had such a bad reaction to the medication called Vyvanse Ii was given in 2021 during my time in a clinic, it almost caused me a pulmonary event after I fractured my knee in 2021.

 and bc I don't have a covid vaccine and this was during lockdown, I wss trapped in a ED for AGES and they were NOT letting me go. I WILL NEVER take that HELL drug again. I almost got HOSPITAL ARREST bc I REFUSED TO KEEP A FACE MASK ON. THEY HAD ME LOCKED AWAY, SEDATED ON MORPHINE, ENDONE AND BENZOS LIKE A LEPER BECAUSE I WAS UNVAXXED AND WOULDN'T LET ME READ OR HAVE A VISTIOR OR BE ON MY PHONE FOR HOURS.

I wasn't able to get my injury looked at because they only cared about this "clot" In my lungs, I was put on vyvanse a few months prior so I assumed it must have been from that and my panic attack made the situation 1000x worse.

Every time a nurse told me to look at the blood pressure or ECG machine to get the rate down, it just went up, biofeedback is traumatic for me.

They were unable to work out why the sedative wasn't making me docile.

I'll tell you why. I am generationally immune to them. My grandmother was given large amounts of Valium while she was in labor with my mother, which was a premature birth. This lasted a few weeks. So she was up to about 80 mg of diazapam per day to prevent the birth of my mother.

This could be experimental, I am yet to do a literature review

MK-ULTRA subprojects led to social constructs to assign labels to behaviour beyond the "normal" range in society. This came from WW1-2 and in 1952 or 3 lithium began the psychiatric movement to medicate the patients who were locked in asylums and mental institues and given LOBOTOMIES, neurosurgery and a myriad of BARBARIC physical brain manipulations. Showing how archaic the field is.

They told us in about meds they have 5 classes of meds they work with:

Anti psychotics

Anti depressants

Anti anxiety / benzo/barbiturate/sleep pill

Mood stabiliser

Stimulants

Not one new medical mode of treatment has been created since the originals came out, the mood stabiliser, being lithium, anti psychotics, anti depressants, barbiturates and stimulants were all around that same time.

Midnight arrived, time to catch up on prayers, eat and drink and smoke some marijuana. Possibly tequila. Why?

Self medication because the drugs given are not helping. They didn’t think or know better because it’s the want to inflict the pain on me. So its time to go back to where I know, where is my informed consent.

I COULD TAKE THE CLONIDINE VALDOXAN AND MELOTONIN, or one or two or none who knows?

Give me the lamotrigine and dex and I would be compliant.

Play with my chemicals and I will never obey.

I will never obey when my needs are not respected.

I am a human guinea pig, I am a lab rat

My life is ruined by psychiatry. Why should I not sue them? What if I join the inner inner political lodge of thelema OTO in canberra, the one I discovered being linked to my current spiritual temple I FOUND IN 2015, BUT BY COINCIDENCE ONE OR TWO OF THE NEW MEMBERS HAPPEN TO BE PART OF THESE NEFARIOUS ORGANISATIONS, yes, I got astrally ATTACKED FOR THIS, but I am OF UNIVERSAL JUSTICE TO SPEAK OF THE TRUTH? What then?

I have been betrayed and hurt by everyone I ever knew ans that’s the recipe to kill me

I wont die, I won't be killed by the sinister evil enemies are playing in.

I will survive by my own volition.

Don’t let them scare you.

I am rogue, I am no one and belong to nobody

I am not afraid to live with a new lense

I am open to being cured by the sickness inflicted by legal psychiatric medications.

I will be avenged for how my brain was meddled with for 20 years.

I will find joy, pleasure and happiness with no chemical 0r behavioural substitute.

It may take years but today I am cutting ties with all things that are not 100.

TIME IS TICKING, you took what is my birthright but thinking I couldn't fight back, but now I see things with clarity and you can always pull the "shes fucking insane" card over me, but that won't devalue the reality or truth in what is being stated from actual physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and metaphysical reality; let alone magickal.

The other is the collective of egotists who continued experimental regimes done during the war in america under project paperclip, and in other countries under other subproject names, who began the field of psychiatry.

So basically two different ends of the same snake. <INSERT RELIGION HERE>

 We don’t even need to justify the issues of religion, let alone a specific one.

I'm my own salvation

I am worthy of my goals, dreams and visions of the future

I will manifest all my purposes in life drive me towards pursuing. My soul will find its fire and once more, the ashes begin to pile from the scraps that settled after the last fire.

For some of us, the brightest ones I was told, once, those who burn the brightest, are deliberately hurt the most

What is hidden will always be illuminated by the light.

[mibeau]

[Travelog] Subhanallah, I’m Amazed by…: The Landscape of Istanbul

Assalamualaikum. Hi. Kindly bear with me through the upcoming paragraphs, as I may appear a bit scattered. These background stories might be necessary to comprehend well my thought process and emotions.

When I was a kid, I enjoyed the animation "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." The storyline and illustrations of the city captivated my interest. In secondary school, I was crazy about TVXQ and bought their “3rd Photobook: Prince of Prague”. The enchanting architecture and ambience of Prague mesmerised me.

And my late mother reads a lot. Like, A LOT. Earning her the nickname "The Moving Encyclopedia." Throughout my childhood, she extensively delved into books, often sharing the rich histories of Turkey, Bosnia, and various other places. With her, I watched many documentaries So, I kind of have had some general ideas of the demographics of Turkey since young. It wasn't until I watched "Istanbul Aku Datang" that I truly began to admire the city of the Ottoman Empire.

In 2011, I was captivated by the cinematic brilliance of "99 Cahaya Di Langit Eropa."

The film not only showcased the beauty of Europe but also deeply resonated with my emotions. One pivotal scene in Istanbul, where Acha's character prostrated in the Aya Sofea, sparked a strong desire within me to visit the city. Ever since then, I have been fixated on visiting Turkey one day.

Now, finally, let's go!

A couple of years after the "epiphany," during the semester break in July 2017, I chose to undertake a solo "expedition" to Turkey.

I’ve planned the itinerary since September 2016 and secured all reservations by March 2017. My journey took me to three cities: Istanbul, Pamukkale, and Cappadocia, each with its distinctive characteristics that left me with unforgettable memories and valuable lessons.

Arriving in Istanbul, I enjoyed the sea view on my way to the hostel, enhanced by the pleasant natural lighting.

I stayed at "Cheers Lighthouse" in the Fatih district, strategically located just a few minutes walk from Aya Sofea.

After settling in and taking a brief rest, I set out to explore and find some local cuisine. My initial dining experience was at a restaurant near Sultanahmet Square, where I discovered that Turkish foods are characterized by their heat, cheesiness, rich flavours, and enticing charred quality—simply delicious. However, a word of caution: eateries within a 10km radius of Aya Sofea tend to be extra pricey, something I realized only after further exploring the city. But hey, I was famished.

The next morning, I descended for the complimentary Turkish breakfast, eagerly anticipating the spread. Admittedly, the cheese and fruits offered a unique twist, but overall, it didn't leave a lasting impression. I found myself thinking that

Turkish breakfast might be overrated. However, my perspective took a complete turn when I had breakfast in a Cave Inn during my visit to Cappadocia the following week—I was absolutely blown away. The breakfast was exceptional! At first glance, it appeared to be a typical breakfast buffet, but the array of fresh fruits, cured meats, cheeses, and spreads, coupled with their distinct and delightful flavours, made me exclaim, "Wow!" It was an experience truly worth the hype.

Alright, back to Istanbul.

That morning, I made friends with one of the breakfast staff, a girl named Jenny from Indonesia. She had taken a gap year to travel and, intriguingly, worked in hostels wherever she went in exchange for free accommodations. She kindly offered to show me around Istanbul whenever she had free time, and I was ecstatic about it! I felt genuinely grateful for her generous offer, as it allowed me to experience things that were not originally part of my itinerary.

After breakfast, I explored and immersed myself in the essence of nearby historical sites such as Aya Sofea and the Sultanahmet Mosque, finding them every bit as mesmerising as they appeared on the screen. I snacked on Nutella Simit and Ayran (readily available everywhere!), got an Istanbulkart from one of the metro stations, and spontaneously hopped onto trams and underground trains for the experience. My aim was to observe the locals, note the differences in building designs between Asia and Europe, and soak in the surroundings. Interestingly, dogs seemed to be everywhere, even within the outer compounds of the mosques. Moreover, the underground stations had a distinct smell of

seawater.

In the late afternoon, I rendezvoused with Jenny at the entrance of the Basilica Cistern. The atmosphere inside was dim and damp, with a somewhat suffocating feel, reminiscent of Harry Potter's Chamber of Secrets. At the end of this underground "cave," there stood a fountain where water flowed from the mouth of a lady that, in my imagination, resembled Medusa. Visiting the Basilica Cistern is a unique experience that I would recommend at least once, as such a place is not commonly found in Malaysia.

Next, we went to Topkapi Palace.

The main entrance had a castle-like appearance, and while I wasn't initially expecting much, my perspective quickly changed upon entering. If you have a passion for architecture and history, this is an absolute must-visit in Istanbul – you cannot afford to skip it! The relics housed within are truly astonishing. If I was impressed during my school visit to Istana Besar Johor back in 2004, my excitement at Topkapi Palace was at least tenfold. The compound features open-air spaces, several pavilions, and the main building with wings. Various rooms within the palace showcase different designs and concepts based on their functions. One room, in particular, reminded me of Thai architecture, adorned with intricate engravings. My personal favourite was the "Tea Room," which made me feel like a member of the scholars in the Baitul Hikmah – quite a delightful

experience!

After exploring all the relics and rooms, I stepped outside to admire the exteriors of the palace. As I approached the perimeter's boundary, I beheld a breathtaking sight: the Bosphorus Straits. 

This picturesque view took me completely by surprise, leaving me stunned and momentarily speechless. It was as if I had stepped into a real-life painting—a magnificent scene that surpassed my expectations.

I had always thought that landscape paintings mimicked real-life scenery through their choice of colours, not realizing that they actually portrayed what the eyes see, sometimes even better than a photograph. Allahu Akbar. I couldn't believe my eyes. MashaAllah Tabarakallah, thank you, ya Allah, for this incredible opportunity. I hope to visit there again one day, insha'Allah.

Then, we visited the Grand Bazaar, a place where you can find almost anything -- the amusing names of the spices added to the experience.

I went there for Turkish Delights and teas. Many shops offered samples, making it a great spot for window shopping. It's a bit on the touristic side, though. Personally, I lean towards the Spice Bazaar – smaller yet lively. On our way back to the hostel, we opted for McDonald’s Lamb Doner Burger for dinner and strolled past the Obelisk of Theodosius with ice-cream cones in hand. Fun fact: McDonald’s provided ketchup and mayo packets there.

Having fallen in love with the strait view the previous day, I decided to get on a cruise along the Bosphorus.

Boarding from Eminonu, I purchased a nonstop ticket for a cruising ferry that only stopped at the last ferry stop—a little sightseeing trip to a small village. Alternatively, you can opt for the normal ferry, which I chose for my return journey. The normal ferry can be accessed using the IstanbulKart. Along the straits, you get to see numerous houses and buildings, and the scenery brings to mind images of Greece. The water view was exceptionally beautiful, resembling a horizon line. Oh, and at most ferry stops, boats are selling Balik Ekmek (Fish Sandwich), served with lemon juice and salt. The taste was as expected, it's fine to skip the sandwich and simply observe the seller. After all, it's the experience we seek, much like visiting floating markets in Thailand.

Continuing my exploration, I headed to Karakoy to catch a glimpse of Istanbul from atop the Galata Tower.

In this area, numerous shops sell Turkish Pide. Jenny had already been waiting for me there. She joined me in the queue, and when it was my turn to enter, I went up alone, while she went off to do some shopping. Cos she has been there before. The tower's summit was packed, akin to a busy night market. Standing still for more than a minute was a challenge in the one-way flow of people, which slightly irked me. However, my irritation faded away as soon as I laid eyes on the breathtaking view. SubhanAllah~ I was enchanted once more. The panorama was unlike anything I had ever seen, featuring the Bosphorus Straits and the old European neighbourhoods. Perhaps influenced by illustrations from fables, the view brought to mind "Pied Piper of Hamelin." If you're not constrained by budget, consider indulging in a meal at Galata Tower to savour the view longer. Otherwise, I recommend future visitors to instead, find higher grounds in Karakoy and enjoy a similar view for free, saving both time and Liras on Galata Tower.

Overall, the European side of the city exuded better vibes and boasted truly appreciable architecture.

Jenny led me through a pedestrian walkway, and we arrived at the sea banks. I was taken aback. Seeing people fishing in the city was fascinating. According to Jenny, it was a regular activity for the locals who relished daily sunsets. We also visited a renowned baklava bakery, the name of which I unfortunately don't recall. It was an amazing experience, and we even had conversations with locals. I'm quite certain I wouldn't have discovered these places if it weren't for her.

Later, heading to Taksim, Jenny took me on a funicular ride, providing yet another interesting experience.

The interior of the station reminded me of Pyongyang's subway station, which was a novel sight for me. I wasn't aware that this mode of transportation was available in Istanbul, so it was a pleasant surprise. In Taksim, we were humoured by street performers and the tantalizing aroma of baked potatoes. However, Jenny's intention was to introduce me to her favourite dessert shop specializing in Kunafe. I ordered a goat cheese Kunafe, which had a robust aroma but tasted exceptionally good— a regular syrupy Kunafe adorned with pistachio bits and a generous amount of cream cheese. We spent some time exploring the square and concluded the night.

Back at the hostel, we met other solo travellers and relaxed in the common area with chay and nargiles. It was then that I realized, despite just meeting, we shared similar mindsets. Perhaps that was the reason we all chose solo travel. We exchanged experiences in Turkey and learned about each other's cultures, including different parts of Brazil, Turkmenistan, and Indonesia.

I turned in early that night as the next day required an early start for Pamukkale.

Instead of staying overnight there, I slept in my carriers. Once I was back in Cheers Lighthouse, I slept for a long time and woke up feeling hungry.

My roommate suggested that we grab dinner together, given that we were both on tight budgets. We roamed around our hostel street in search of affordable street food, a task easier said than done in Fatih. We came across a Domino's, but he strongly preferred to have something different from what he could have back home. We bumped into another girl from our hostel and our quest became a trio mission. To my surprise, my roommate finally approached a restaurant waiter and asked for directions to find an inexpensive option. Instead, the waiter instructed us to wait, assuring us that he would bring us food. After about 10 minutes, he returned with three sets of Durums, wraps similar to shawarma but with a distinct taste—different, like Nasi Goreng Cina to Nasi Goreng Kampung. The wraps were incredibly delicious, marking the best cheap meal I had in Istanbul, Alhamdulillah!

Before flying to Kayseri airport and taking the shuttle bus to Cappadocia, I spent my last days in Istanbul unplanned.

Mostly, I revisited more streets, bought souvenirs, and took photos. Oh, there was a day when I got lost for almost half a day because I tried to venture outside of the city. It led to a minor anxiety attack since outside the city, there were hardly any English signboards, and fewer people spoke English. It was an experience I wouldn't want to go through again.

I spent three days in Cappadocia, which, in retrospect, wasn't enough.

Ideally, you need at least five days there. Cappadocia has a more laid-back atmosphere, with kinder and more respectful people. There are also fewer sleazy encounters, something I found less enjoyable when walking alone in Istanbul due to the staring and catcalls from men.

While my sharing may not contribute much to planning your trip, it offers a glimpse into my perspectives, and hopefully, it broadens your mind. Cheers!

[cosmicanger]

American Muslims Are in a Painful, Familiar Place

By Rozina Ali

Ms. Ali is a journalist who covers war, Islamophobia and the Middle East.

When President Biden landed in Tel Aviv days after Hamas’s Oct. 7 massacre of more than 1,400 people, he told an audience of Israelis that this was not just Israel’s Sept. 11, that “it was like 15 9/11s.”

The comparison, which emerged widely and immediately, seemed apt on the surface: a brutal attack that shocked a nation and changed the course of its history. Indeed, it’s been dizzying to witness the speed at which the same patterns we saw after Sept. 11, 2001, are playing out. The mourning of a terrorist attack has been interrupted by the swift bombardment of civilian neighborhoods. American officials, pundits and companies have quickly rallied around Israel in its war on Gaza, which has rapidly intensified by the day. In the first week of the war, Israel dropped more bombs on Gaza than the United States did on Afghanistan in a year. Civilian casualties in Gaza have climbed exponentially. And in the West Bank, recent images of Palestinians being tied, blindfolded, stripped and allegedly subjected to attempted sexual assault by Israeli soldiers and settlers recall Abu Ghraib.

In the United States, it’s as if the country has turned back the clock two decades, but not in the way that Mr. Biden suggests. For those who experienced waves of harassment and government surveillance in the years after Sept. 11, the president’s pledge of “unwavering” support for Israel set off alarm bells. I’ve been speaking with lawyers, community groups and advocacy organizations that worked closely with Muslims after September 2001 about what they’re seeing. Not since that time — not even after the election of Donald Trump, who signed an executive order banning visitors from seven Muslim-majority countries within days of taking office — have I heard so many Muslim and Arab community members say they feel isolated. After living through and reckoning with the devastating aftermath of the war on terrorism, it seems the lessons of Sept. 11 have been forgotten.

There seems to be a sense of both resignation — we’ve been here before — and shock — but we’ve been here before.

In the wake of Sept. 11, the U.S. government activated the full force of the national security and law enforcement apparatus to prevent another terrorist attack on American soil. And it bore down on one particular group: Muslims in America. Mass arrests and a national registry of immigrant Muslims led to the deportation of thousands. F.B.I. and police informants, sent to monitor mosques and Muslim neighborhoods, were later found to have been overzealous and accused of entrapping people who committed no violent crimes. The government’s focus on potentially dangerous Muslims spread to American media and society. According to F.B.I. data, hate crimes against Muslims spiked in 2001. Though that pattern slowed in later years — assaults skyrocketed again in 2015 and 2016 — rates have never dipped back to their pre-2001 numbers.

Today, many Muslims in the United States fear a new outbreak of violence. Days after the attacks in Israel, the Biden administration announced that local and federal law enforcement officers across the United States are “closely monitoring” for connected threats. Within a week of Oct. 7, scattered reports were made to the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee of F.B.I. visits to mosques, and women in hijabs were reportedly being assaulted in several cities.

Though communities were braced for what was to come, no one could have predicted that the first hate crime would be the killing of a 6-year-old Palestinian Muslim boy, Wadea Al-Fayoume, whose mother was rushed to the hospital after also being repeatedly stabbed. Joseph Czuba, their landlord, was charged in the killing. (He has pleaded not guilty.) According to the boy’s mother, Mr. Czuba had become violent after the news of Oct. 7 and yelled, “You Muslims must die,” before stabbing Wadea 26 times. While speaking at Wadea’s funeral, one religious leader, Imam Omar Suleiman, wondered in his remarks: “Have we not learned anything from 9/11? Do we really want to live those dark years again?”

Perhaps because those “dark years” were not so long ago, attacks like the one on Wadea feel as though they are opening a barely closed wound. One Illinois resident told me that community members are now planning patrols for their children, not dissimilar to those started by some mosques after Mr. Trump was elected. “This is exactly what we were afraid of,” Abed Ayoub, the director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, told me recently.

What happened to the Muslim community in the United States after Sept. 11 — the surveillance, the targeting, the fear — was intimately tied to many Americans’ belief in the righteousness of what our government was doing abroad. As the United States invaded first Afghanistan and then Iraq, both wars that wrought devastating civilian casualties and paved the way for political chaos, the public perception of Muslims in America plummeted to new lows. Within a year of the Iraq invasion, a Pew poll found that a larger number of Americans believed Islam was more likely than other religions to encourage violence. By 2014, Muslims ranked lowest in another Pew poll of how the American public views different religious groups.

That unfounded perception has remained in the years since. The sudden arrival of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria only deepened the suspicion of Muslims in America as an ever-present threat. Once again, Islam appeared in close connection to terrorism in the American imagination as images of masked figures carrying out gruesome executions reinforced twisted stereotypes of Muslims. The ISIS phenomenon of the Western recruit meant that any wayward Muslim teenager could be a threat and that even the most assimilated people had the potential to become terrorists.

Since the Israel-Hamas war started, these long-held suspicions now appear to be seeping into the public debate again over showing support for Palestinians in Gaza, more than 8,000 of whom have been killed since the bombardment began, according to the Gazan health ministry. The false connection between supporting civilians in Gaza and the terrorist activities of Hamas is manifesting across our country’s public institutions. From college campuses to places of work, people are facing retribution for expressing support for Palestinians that is being misconstrued as anti-Israel or pro-Hamas. Companies have rescinded job offers, journalists have been fired for sharing posts, and students whose organizations have signed statements have been smeared publicly. The scale of suppression of speech by social media platforms, such as the shadow banning of Gaza-related posts and the blocking of accounts on Instagram, has been alarming enough that Human Rights Watch has started to document it.

Perhaps the Sept. 11 comparison and the good-guy/bad-guy binary can be evoked successfully because there has been almost no accountability for the failures of the war on terrorism. The oversimplification is made worse by Mr. Biden, who, in the same visit to Tel Aviv during which he cautioned Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s government to avoid the “mistakes” America made after Sept. 11, he also referred to Palestinians as “the other team.” There is no call from Israel to win the “hearts and minds” of Palestinians, as George W. Bush claimed to do with Iraqis; there is no call to bring freedom to Gaza, as the United States said it wanted to do in Afghanistan. Instead, Mr. Biden has not publicly admonished the Israeli defense minister for saying that his country was fighting “human animals.” And at home, he and other leaders have offered little to assuage the growing fears in the Arab and Muslim community: Last week he had a private meeting with Muslim leaders that the administration never publicly announced. Though the White House released a statement the day after Wadea Al-Fayoume’s killing, the president didn’t call the boy’s family until five days later.

The Oct. 7 attacks didn’t happen on American soil, but this is an intimate war for many Americans. Some families wait desperately for scraps of news of their loved ones taken hostage by Hamas. Others search for some sign of their loved ones in Gaza, waiting for the blue checks to show that their WhatsApp messages have been read by family members who are trying to stay alive amid near-constant bombing and a lack of food and water.

The first Friday after Oct. 7, the first holy day for Muslims and Jews since the attacks, New York City and the rest of the country seemed to be on high alert, bracing itself because a former Hamas leader in Qatar had called for protests across Arab nations in support of the Palestinians, a call which was mislabeled as a day of jihad. I decided to visit the Islamic Center at N.Y.U., expecting a tense and nervous congregation. Instead, an imam finished his speech, and the women around me lined up to pray. As we knelt together, all I could hear was sobs.

We’ve been here before, but we don’t have to be here again. 📖

[prettylittlelyres]

Hi buddy! Its Athena, I'm sending this out to all my mutuals - what got you into writing, what inspires you, who inspires you and what music inspires you to write? what do you love about writing?

Thank you so much for asking! I'm finally getting around to answering now, but I've had these questions in my head ever since they arrived in my inbox. I knew this was going to be a long post, so I've put it off until there's been a good time, which is today.

What got you into writing?

I learned to read when I was three, and we've always had a house full of books. Most of my collection is digital now, as I've moved house (internationally) too many times in the last ten years to keep a bedroom full of paperbacks, but books have been a huge part of my life.

It's hard to say what exactly got me into writing, because I don't really remember not writing... but I think my biggest inspirations have been Hilary McKay (author of the "Casson Family" books, and my namesake), Anna Godbersen (I love the "Luxe" series!), and the "My Story" series that Scholastic released (various authors, but I think Alison Prince and Valerie Wilding are my favourites!) in the early 2000s.

We had some Creative Writing lessons in primary school, with a teacher who then discouraged us from writing creatively (sheer peculiarity of that person), so I took up writing defiantly, and got good at hiding paper up my sleeve, in my pockets, in my socks, anywhere I could be sure it wouldn't be found. At one point, I was carrying around probably 5,000 words at a time! My friends used to help me break into the teacher's desk to get my confiscated work back, and I'm still so grateful to them for doing that.

Through secondary school, I kept writing for fun, and wrote several drafts of what has become "This Still Happens" during my GCSEs and A' Levels. I was lucky enough to take Creative Writing A2 with AQA before the government shut the course down, and I still use the techniques I learned from those extremely kind, encouraging teachers.

What inspires you to write?

My creativity always seems to kick in when I'm on the train. Whenever I travel, I take my phone with me, and if it's likely to be a long (more than 15 minutes, in my book) journey, I take along my Bluetooth keyboard as well. I bought it when I was seventeen, when I had some "treat" money leftover from my summer job, and I started taking it with me to Sixth Form that September. It was so much easier, not to have to lug my laptop around.

This was 2016, I think: the glorious days of LitLift, which was a bit like Scrivener, but web-browser based, and fizzled out in 2018, after about six months of patchy service. Luckily, I never kept anything exclusively on LitLift, so I didn't lose anything. There was one chapter of "This Still Happens" (in an earlier version) that I had to rewrite entirely, because LitLift lost it before I could back it up, but that was at least half my own fault, for not saving as I went! (No harm done in the long term, anyway. I completely rewrote the book the following year!)

Having my Bluetooth keyboard feels like a good compromise between a desktop/laptop computer and a typewriter. I can set my phone up at a distance, and make the font big enough to see from the other side of the room, and bang out a few pages of my story without much temptation to edit while I draft! As I say, it's so portable, and makes writing so much easier. I used to take it to work and write in the kitchen during my lunchbreaks, but, now that I work from home, I'm just as likely to use my laptop.

There is something very inspiring about graveyards, and I want to write a story set in one - in the vein of Brookwood or Highgate - one day. They're not spooky for me, just extremely beautiful and peaceful. And, of course, I take a lot of inspiration from real life. "This Still Happens" is inspired by my own experiences - not exactly mirrored in the book - and "Curls of Smoke" has a lot of roots in the time I spent in my local Gang Show. I wish I could dance like Florian and Rhiann can (though I'm content to wiggle in my swivel-chair)!

Who inspires you to write?

"Violins and Violets" character Katharina Schmidt is inspired by Maria Anna Mozart, older sister of Wolfgang Amadeus (who inspired Hans Schmidt). I learned about her when I was twelve, studying for my Grade 4 piano; "Allegro in F" from the "Nannerl Notenbuch" was on the syllabus, and I was immediately intrigued. For one, I just like the name Nannerl (how do you get that from Maria Anna? (not that my family's nicknames make any sense to outsiders)). Then, when I looked her up, I found out that she was probably just as good a composer as Wolfgang, but forbidden to make music because she was a woman?! What did the world lose when it shunned her? That's the question "Violins and Violets" asks, and tries to answer... and more to the point, "What might have been?"

"Vogeltje" as a whole novel was inspired by one conversation I had with a friend in a coffee shop one afternoon in 2017. We're both Disabled, in very similar ways, and we've always been frustrated by the prevailing idea that being Disabled makes us in some way tragic, or less deserving of the spotlight. So, I decided, I would write a novel where the main character was Disabled (in the same ways as we are!) and she does get the spotlight, and she does get to be the lead, and she does get to be sexy and attractive and have agency. I love drafting it - it's been on hold for ages now and I want to get back to it - because every time I do, I get to know Marianne Stafford a little bit better, and it's like I have yet another friend I can relate to.

What music inspires you to write?

I have lots of playlists for my writing, usually inspired by a character or a pairing, but sometimes serving as a soundtrack for the whole book.

I like to save pieces of Baroque music that remind me of "Violins and Violets", especially if they remind me of something the characters would compose, and for "This Still Happens", I have a playlist of all the songs I was listening to when I wrote it.

Over about seven long drafts, it's a long playlist, with music from when I was still at school! M83's "Midnight City" features heavily, and appears in the soundtrack for "Curls of Smoke" as well.

What do you love about writing?

The best bit has to be getting to decide what happens next. So little of life is in our control, but when we write stories, we have absolute say. We can make things happen just for fun, because we think it would be nise, or because, yes, it would be horrible if XYZ happened, but we can rewirte it and change it later on, if we want.

I'm a big fan of the 1999 film and 2016 series "Frequency" for the same reason; the characters get to decide what happens in their lives (but I don't like the consequences they suffer, so I'd rather be a writer than a "Frequency" character!).

[croservices]

Largest Cro's Changed My Life. Here’s My Story

1. From Struggling Crossfitter to Elite Athlete: How the Largest Crossfit Competition in the World Changed My Life

In 2013, I competed in the Crossfit Games, the largest Crossfit competition in the world. It was an amazing experience that changed my life in many ways.

Before the Games, I was just a struggling Crossfitter. I had been working out at my local box for a few years, but I was never the fittest person in the room. I was always in the middle of the pack, never really pushing myself to be better.

But then I decided to sign up for the Games. It was a big decision, and I was very nervous. I didn’t know if I was ready for the competition.

But I decided to go for it, and I’m so glad I did. The Games were an amazing experience. I met so many amazing people and learned so much about myself.

I also realized that I was capable of so much more than I had ever thought possible. I finished in the top 10% of the competition, and I was hooked.

Since then, I’ve become a much better Crossfitter. I’ve pushed myself to be better, and I’ve seen amazing results. I’ve also made some great friends along the way.

The Crossfit Games changed my life, and I’m so grateful for the experience. If you’re thinking about competing, I say go for it! It’s an experience you’ll never forget.

2. Training for the Largest Crossfit Competition in the World: What I Learned

I remember the first time I ever stepped into a Crossfit gym. I was immediately hooked. The intensity, the camaraderie, the feeling of pushing your body to its limits… it was all so intoxicating. I knew from that moment on that I wanted to be a competitive Crossfitter.

So when I heard about the Crossfit Games – the largest Crossfit competition in the world – I knew I had to compete. And so I started training. Hard.

For months, I trained multiple times a day, six days a week. I changed my diet, I slept more, I did everything I could to prepare myself for the Games.

And when the day finally arrived, I gave it my all. I put everything I had into those three days of competition and when it was all over, I was exhausted – but I was also the happiest I had ever been.

Crossfit changed my life. It gave me a sense of purpose and drive that I had never felt before. It pushed me to be better, to be stronger, and to never give up.

And I am so grateful for that Largest CRO's.

3. My Experience Competing in the Largest Crossfit Competition in the World

I’ve been doing Crossfit for a little over two years now. I started because a friend of mine recommended it and I was looking for a new workout routine. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I soon found out that Crossfit is much more than a workout routine. It’s a community, a lifestyle, and a way of thinking. I was hooked from the very first WOD (workout of the day).

A few months after I started Crossfit, I heard about the Crossfit Games. The Crossfit Games is an annual competition that crowns the “fittest on earth.” The Games are open to anyone who wants to compete. There are three stages of competition: The Open, The Regionals, and The Games. The Open is an online competition that anyone can sign up for. The top athletes from each region then advance to The Regionals. The Regionals is a three-day competition where the top athletes from each region compete against each other. The final stage is The Games, which is a four-day competition held at the end of July. The Games is where the fittest on earth are crowned.

I decided to sign up for The Open in 2016. The Open is a five-week competition that takes place in the winter. Each week, Crossfit releases a new WOD. Athletes have until the following Monday to complete the WOD and submit their score. The Open is a great way to see how you compare to other athletes in your region. I finished in the top 50% of my region, which I was happy with.

In 2017, I decided to go for it and try to make it to The Regionals. I signed up for The Open and trained hard for five weeks. I was excited to see how I would do. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to The Regionals. I was disappointed, but I was not deterred. I was determined to make it to The Regionals in 2018.

I trained hard for The Open again in 2018. I was excited to see how I would do. I ended up finishing in the top 10% of my

4. How the Largest Crossfit Competition in the World Made Me a Better Athlete

The largest Crossfit competition in the world is called the Crossfit Games. It is an annual event that takes place in California and attracts the best Crossfit athletes from all over the world.

I have always been a competitive person. I was a three-sport athlete in high school and college and have always loved to compete. So, when I found out about the Crossfit Games, I knew I had to compete.

I competed in the Games for the first time in 2014. I finished in the top 10% of my age group and was hooked. I loved the competition and the camaraderie of the Crossfit community.

I competed again in 2015 and 2016, and each year I got a little bit better. I was still nowhere near the top of the leaderboard, but I was improving.

Then, in 2017, something changed. I don’t know what it was, but I suddenly got a lot better. I finished in the top 3% of my age group and even made the finals of one event.

It was an incredible experience and I’m already looking forward to the 2018 Games.

But, even more importantly, competing in the Crossfit Games has made me a better athlete. I’ve learned so much about myself and what I’m capable of.

I’ve also learned that the only way to get better is to keep pushing yourself. I’m constantly challenging myself to be better and I’ve never been happier with my fitness.

If you’re thinking about competing in the Crossfit Games, or even if you just want to push yourself to be a better athlete, I would highly recommend it. It’s an amazing experience and you’ll never regret it.

5. What I Wish I Had Known Before Competing in the Largest Crossfit Competition in the World

I’ve been doing Crossfit for just over two years now. In that time, I’ve competed in a few local competitions and one online competition. But last month, I took the plunge and competed in the largest Crossfit competition in the world: The Crossfit Games.

Here’s what I wish I had known before competing in the Games:

1. The Games are exhausting.

I knew the Games were going to be tough, but I had no idea just how tough they would be. The workouts are incredibly demanding, both mentally and physically, and they take a toll on your body. I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the weekend.

2. The Games are also exhilarating.

Despite the exhaustion, the Games are also an incredible rush. It’s an amazing feeling to push yourself to the limit and see what you’re capable of. I’ve never felt so alive as I did when I was competing in the Games.

3. The Games are a test of mental toughness.

The Games are as much a test of mental toughness as they are a test of physical fitness. There were times when I wanted to give up, but I had to dig deep and find the strength to keep going. The experience was a valuable lesson in mental toughness.

4. The Games are a celebration of fitness.

The Crossfit Games are a celebration of fitness. It’s an opportunity to see some of the fittest people in the world competing at the highest level. And it’s also a chance to meet other like-minded people who share your passion for fitness.

5. The Games will change your life.

Competing in the Crossfit Games was a life-changing experience. It’s an experience that I’ll never forget, and one that has made me a better person. I’m more motivated than ever to pursue my fitness goals, and I’m more determined than ever to be the best that I can be.

[saintobio]

time out.

↳ kageyama tobio/fem!reader

what better way to test the viral cardboard beds than to do it with your 2-time olympian boyfriend?

genre. pwp, explicit smut, 18+

tags/warnings. olympian!tobio, profanity, fellatio, cunnilingus, spit as lube, spanking like once, slight degradation, protected sex, allusions to gangbang

notes. 4k wc. pls i might edit this bland n shitty writing soon ㅠㅡㅠ anyway ik it’s late but we r gonna break these cardboard beds tho i didn’t make it in time for the olympics bc i was swamped w other works ,, sobs

Dating a professional athlete had its pros and cons. They were very passionate lovers, financially stable, and always on the move. They lived on a strict healthy diet and have very disciplined lifestyles that were highly inspiring on their own. On the down side, the attention that they may receive could be a bit overwhelming from an outsider’s perspective and you knew this first hand after both locals and foreigners have set their eyes on your boyfriend ever since he first joined the Japan Men’s National Volleyball Team as a nineteen-year old. You could still remember how he blew up on the internet back in the 2016 Rio Olympics with fangirls posting pictures and video clips of him on various social media platforms, proclaiming their newfound admiration for him and fighting for the role to be his next girlfriend. It was humorous to an extent where even Tobio himself would often be placed on the spot of not knowing how to respond to an avid fan’s outward declaration of love. But even now that he was twenty-four and more popular than ever, he was still considerably awkward around girls.

Nevertheless, for Kageyama, none of it mattered better than the prestige of being an Olympian for the second time around. What made this year more exciting was the fact that the host country for the 2020 Olympics was his homeland, Tokyo. And with the advantage of having his home country as the world’s stadium, he was also exhilarated about this year’s team roster. The squad was packed with the best volleyball players in all of Japan and he found it extremely honorable to be the starting setter for such a powerful team. It was no surprise to see how focused and motivated he was to be a part of something this huge at the height of his career knowing that the road to the gold medal was within their reach. No external factors could ever take his attention away from the sport that he loved more than anything else in this world.

Besides, how could girls distract him from his game when he already had you? To be fair, no one really knew about you because Tobio was yet to reveal your relationship to the public and you weren’t really keen to be in the spotlight when you’ve always preferred to date him on the low. Though, sometimes you admit that you wish people had the idea that he was already taken so that they would know their boundaries because a handsome and talented man like him would always have women trying their chances.

You didn’t consider yourself the jealous type, but it was natural to feel small and insecure when you were dating an almost-celebrity.

Were you upset? Not really. And you tried not to be irrational over things like that. However, your face must have reflected your thoughts because the said boyfriend wouldn’t stop looking at you as you both hopped inside the elevator. He was pulling your hand, possibly smiling under his face mask as he held your waist and rested his chin above your head. “What’s going through your mind?”

You adjusted your own mask before giving an answer. “Nothing,” you lied, changing the topic quickly. “I enjoyed watching the broadcast yesterday. You guys did so well.”

“Who’s the best?” he asked just so you could utter his name and inflate his ego. It had always been Kageyama’s goal to compete with Shoyo even when they were on the same team and hearing you say that he played the best among his own teammates would make him extra ‘proud’.

But for the sake of teasing him, you began to say everyone else’s name but him. “Well, I’d say Ushijima or maybe Bokuto. Hinata’s attacks were very fun to watch, too. Oh, and Atsumu!”

As expected, your boyfriend raised an eyebrow at your chosen response. “Atsumu-san keeps the bench warm and you say he played better than me?”

“That’s so mean!” you chortled, shaking your head and thinking of how Atsumu would have been so offended.

You ended up laughing it off until the elevator doors opened and you were both taking measured footsteps across the hallway before anyone could see you. Tobio was the one in charge of being on the lookout for any staff that could catch your presence within the Japan team’s floor while you were the docile deer hiding behind him as you two made your way towards his assigned room.

You were not supposed to be here. The Olympic village had very strict COVID-19 protocols that altered some traditions in the Olympics according to your boyfriend’s past experience. Athletes were encouraged to keep their masks on at all times which was mainly one of the reasons that made it easier for you to sneak inside the famous village that caused a stir on social media. Your favorite so far was the apartment-style housing that had state-of-the-art facilities, with flags from different countries hanging on their balconies to serve as an identifier for each nation who would be competing.

Tobio was aware of how much the Olympic spirit was taking over Tiktok and that he and the rest of his teammates were gaining popularity, specifically amongst women from all over the world. Even Iwaizumi Hajime, the team’s athletic trainer, could not escape the curious eyes of the online audience who shamelessly expressed how good looking he was.

But one of the most interesting controversies in this year’s Olympics were the cardboard beds.

Yes, cardboard. When you first heard about it, you thought it was strange, too. Japan was a country known for its advanced technology and impressive sustainability so you had an inkling that these cardboard frames were made for easy disposing, but Tiktok seemed to have another take on it.

“Woah.” Your eyes widened as you finally stood in front of the infamous bed, covered in a blue sheet with the words ‘2020 Tokyo Olympics’ labeled on the bottom. “So this is the famous bed, huh?”

Tobio, who had just locked the door to his room, soon removed his mask and sat at the edge of his bed. “They tested it out. Miya-san and Bokuto-san,” he shared, pulling you to sit on his lap and looping his fingers around the string on your mask, removing it from your face completely. “Did you see the videos?”

“Yeah, the one Suna posted.” You let out a silent chuckle after remembering the video where Atsumu and Bokuto were jumping on top of their bed to prove ‘the theory’ surrounding the said cardboard frames. “Is this bed really meant for you guys to… avoid intimacy? I mean, it’s not like you’re gonna hookup with another Olympian, right?”

Your boyfriend sniggered at your doubtful tone. “I sense jealousy,” he claimed, rubbing circles on your hip with his thumb. “Why would I do that when I have you?”

With a small and barely visible pout, you draped an arm around his shoulders and placed your index finger on his lower lip. “I saw those really gorgeous gymnast girls talking to you this morning.”

He inched his face closer, warm breath tickling your neck before he softly planted a kiss on your jaw. “They were just asking to take pictures, babe.”

Right. Well, you didn't really want to ponder much about it and you already felt bad that you brought it up at all. There was no room for a jealous girlfriend at a time like this and all he needed from you was to be supportive.

Although, maybe giving him a little time out from his athletic responsibilities could help lessen the pressure on his mind. A quick distraction was what he needed and besides, you ought to give him a reward for winning the game against Italy yesterday.

You would blame it on your high sex drive because you were ovulating and it had been a while since you last did anything together. Tobio had been extremely busy and today was a rare opportunity that he even managed to sneak you in, so you weren’t going to waste it by simply looking at each other’s faces. What you did was to push him back in bed, crawling on top so you could straddle his lap. “Why don’t we test if this is really an anti-sex bed?”

“Babe.” His eyes gleamed with humor, but you could see the trace of excitement behind his gaze that lingered on your collarbone down to your cleavage. You grinned at how he was trying to restrain himself so you didn’t hesitate to undo each button of your shirt with your needy boyfriend enjoying the view. “This bed can hold up to four hundred pounds. It’s not gonna break.”

You tilted your head to the side and slipped the shirt off of your body. “Hm, really?” Whether it was the afternoon heat or you were simply on fire from the sexual tension, you could see Kageyama’s chest rising and falling slowly as you leaned down to kiss his jaw. “What happens if it breaks?”

“We’ll be legendary,” he stated, gripping your thighs with large calloused hands that soon did the job at unzipping your fly. “Hinata will be back soon.”

It was 3 PM when you glanced at the time and his roommate would come back by 5 PM after watching the live match between Brazil and Argentina. You had two full hours to enjoy yourselves for the time being and you were not planning to waste every minute of it. “Then, let’s do it quickly before he returns,” you insisted as you pulled away to undress him off of his hoodie, revealing his perfectly toned upper body. “Don’t act like you haven’t been so needy for the past week. You literally sent me a dick pic last night.”

A handsome smirk settled on his face when he pulled your pants down, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. “It’s ‘cause I missed you,” he whispered on your lips before attaching it against his with a soft, open-mouthed kiss that had you wanting for more. “Mm—you’re all I think about before I sleep.”

“Naughty.” You pecked his lips and let your hands travel along his chest and shoulders. Since when did Tobio become this… huge? He was so broad and muscular despite keeping a lean physique and you were losing your mind from all the obscene images that you were forming in your head. Perhaps it wouldn’t be too bad to turn them into reality. “Lay your back on the mattress.”

“Taking full control on me now, huh?”

“Consider it a reward.”

It seemed that the cardboard frame was, in fact, sturdier than wood. You were frankly impressed at how it was able to withstand two entangled persons shifting in bed with significant pressure. Your boyfriend was already raking his fingers through his cropped raven hair, nape reclined against the headboard while you palmed the growing bulge on his sweatpants. He’s hard already, you giggled at the thought and slowly pulled the bands of his sweatpants to release his aching member from the restriction of his garment.

“Fuck, I missed this…” He closed his eyes after taking a deep breath because he seemed to enjoy how you were touching him again—how you wrapped your hand around his girth, pumping his length at a rhythm that he liked, and swirling your tongue around his pink head to remind yourself of his taste. “Suck me more.”

“Mm—patience.” You kissed his throbbing head, treating it like a lollipop with the way you teased the slit on his head by running your tongue around it. You eventually placed his cock inside your mouth after kissing every inch of his length, sated by how hard he had grown at the thought of you. His moans filled your ears, driving you to do more as you started bobbing your head to suck his shaft like a good girl. You always were. Hushed curses left his mouth to confirm just how satisfied he was with the job that you were doing until you released his cock with a pop to wipe the drool that escaped the corner of your lips. “You like it, baby?”

He nodded, looking down at you with glazed eyes. “Don’t stop.”

You kept eye-contact when you ejected spit on his throbbing head, later spreading your saliva around his length by pumping him nice and fast. “As you wish.” And with that, your own lust-filled eyes were pleased with the sight of your boyfriend throwing his head back after you put all of his cock back inside of your mouth. His tip hit your uvula with how deep you took him and you gagged at the sudden penetration on your throat, but did not stop yourself from stroking the lower half of his length and sucking his precum on the upper.

“Shit. Tighten those pretty lips for me.”

Doing as told, you continued to please him with the best blowjob you’ve ever done in your life because you gained the confidence to try and be more skillful with the way you were moving your head at a steady rhythm. At some point, he became too impatient that he was thrusting himself upward to meet your throat and you could feel the veins of his shaft as your tongue glided past them.

You should have known that dating an athlete would give you a competitive partner in bed. Tobio was already highly competitive on his own, but seeing how great you sucked his cock put him on a mission to give you the same pleasure by means of oral sex. He was quite good at it, frankly. And his goal was to remind you of who the dominant one in your relationship was—shifting you under him after you sucked his cock, now keeping you caged under his fit body so he could start doing the work. When every piece of underwear was thrown to the floor, there was not even an ounce of hesitation before he latched his mouth on your left tit. His tongue played with your nipple while his other hand kneaded your right breast, massaging and feeling the soft flesh wantonly. “T-Tobio.” Salacious moans flew off your lips. “Mm—I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?” You could feel the upward curve of his lips when he heard your desperate whines, subsequently moving his hand to spread your legs apart so he could get in between. He leaned in to envelope both of your lips for a rough kiss, allowing you to roll your tongue against his without realizing that he was concurrently cupping your pussy with his pretty, setter hands. The same genius fingers that used to touch the ball were now on your clit, doing circular motions to earn your mewls, spreading your pussy lips apart as an attempt to tease your entrance with his middle finger. Heaven or hell, Tobio was certainly a little bit of both. “Y-Yes, m-more.”

He grinned, biting your lower lip before he inserted two fingers inside of your soaking core. “Already so wet for me, needy little slut.”

His words earned your giggle. “Always…” You latched onto his arm, squeezing his bicep and arching your back as he began pumping his fingers in and out of your hole. You could feel him increasing his speed—eyes half lidded when you looked at his face, shying away as soon as he smirked at you. “B-Baby, so g-good.”

“I’m gonna ask you again,” he spoke in a low voice before planting a kiss on your lips, “who played the best?”

“You… Fuck… Mm—it’s you.” Ecstasy was coursing through your veins as your boyfriend found your most sensitive spot, curling his fingers inside your velvet walls until he crawled down to dive his face between your legs. God. The next thing you knew, he was replacing his fingers with his tongue, lapping your folds and spitting on your entrance to provide more lubrication. “T-Tobio!”

You couldn’t breathe. The gravity of your pleasure was too overwhelming and all you could do was to clamp the sheets as you mewled. Kageyama—clearly proud of his work—was looking up at you with a haughty gaze as if he had just proven that he was still excellent at making you helpless with the way he was eating you out. His warm breath tickled your core when he placed his mouth near your cunt—face on the perfect level adjacent to your genital, ready to ravage the soaking pussy that he hadn’t tasted for a few days. “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

“Y-Yes,” your breath hitched, “but i-it’s not as good without you.” You hoisted your hips up a little, squeezing your breasts together while throwing your head back as a rush of pleasure entered your body. He was putting more effort into rolling his tongue inside of you, tasting your juices and french kissing your pussy without a care for the wetness that surrounded his beautiful lips. The slurping sounds were making you crazy. But more than that, you wanted more. “Tobio, please… fuck me.”

A triumphant grin was soon plastered on his face. “Hm? Say that again.”

This prick’s enjoying this, you had it in mind as you looked down at him. “Please. Fuck me h-hard and fast like you always d-do.”

It was all it took for your boyfriend to kneel in bed, combing his fingers through his raven locks to give you a cocky smirk. “Can’t rawdog you today, babe,” he said before reaching towards the bedside drawer to take out a packet of condom. The same packet was soon in between his teeth, easily ripped open and discarded to the floor along with the rest of your clothes. You didn’t even realize that you closed your legs when you sat up. “Open up.”

You watched how he rolled the rubber on his big, pretty cock while you spread your legs apart to let your fingers play with your clit. “Mm. Shit, I want you so bad…”

“You’ll have me. What position do you want?”

“Can we do doggy?” Because he was blessed with a well-endowed member that filled you to the brim, you thought that it would feel best if you could experience his divine cock at a position where he could go deep.

Tobio didn’t even respond. He was already approving your request by pulling you by the arm and flipping you over so you could get in all fours. “Face down, ass up.”

You could feel how wet your vulva was when he palmed your pussy from behind, pushing you to lower your upper body while you raised your buttocks high enough to meet his pelvis. “If this bed breaks, I’m putting it on Tiktok.”

His soft chuckle bounced off the walls. “If it doesn’t break, I’ll be disappointed.” And as he said that, you weren’t aware that he was already positioning his cock on your entrance before he rammed it inside without warning. “Fuuuck!”

“Aah!” The side of your face found its comfort against the cushion. “H-Harder.”

Why do you keep on challenging this man? He was only about to do twice as much as what you asked for, stretching your hole at the deep penetration while the headboard hit the wall with each thrust. You were left whimpering from his roughness as every slam caused slapping noises from your ass to his groin. Goddamn, the friction that he was creating against your cunt was achingly good.

“A-Aah, yeah!” you cried out, gripping the cushion as you leaned forward while you were being pussy pounded from behind. Tobio’s grip on your waist was tight and he paid very little mercy at how his huge, veiny cock was entering you at an insane pace until tears started welling up your eyes. “T-Tobio!”

“Be a good girl.” His hot breath tickled your ear after he pulled you back through your arms until your body was arched into a C. He only released his grip on your arms so he could place his hand on your bum, giving it a nice slap to leave his handprint on the flesh.

So good, you were losing your mind. So fucking good. The movements of his hips were so fast and rough that you almost felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head. “Y-You’re hitting my g-spot.”

He cussed under his breath while angling his hips to penetrate your sensitive spot even more. “Good. You like it from the back?”

“I-I do.” The bed’s gonna break. You were gripping the headboard, sensing that the cardboard frame could not keep up from all the jostling. At this point, you were getting dizzy from the way he upped his speed and plowed his fat cock through your clamped walls.

“You’re clenching. Ah—fuck. You’re so fucking tight.”

Guttural moans reverberated through the room when the penetrative action sent you into a state of euphoria and you were left wondering if the people next door could hear the obscenities leaving your mouths. You were told that his ‘more energetic’ teammates were staying next door and you suddenly felt shy at the thought.

Though, that was not what made you lose your mind. It was the roughness of his thrusts that went harder, faster, and more desperate. The movements lasted for a couple of minutes while he was stretching your buttocks apart to see just how deep his cock was going in.

“T-Tobio… shit. I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Do it.”

You took deep breaths, humming in pleasure and closing your eyes to simply bask in the feeling. His nails dug onto your waist, leaving crescent marks on your flesh as he fucked your cunt at a satisfying rhythm. At this point, whimpers were coming out of your mouth while your boyfriend romanced your body for his own pleasure. His hand later traveled down to your chest to give your bust a harsh squeeze, flicking your nipple with his index finger and panting as he continued drilling his shaft into your hole.

With moans getting louder and gasps causing your mouths to part open, you disintegrated between your lover as your lower abdomen signaled your orgasm. “A-Aah!” Your legs started to shake while you clenched around his member, body twitching as he continued to pound into you through your overstimulation. You could not think straight just imagining how much you creamed around his protected cock and you were breathing through your mouth to catch the breath that you’ve lost.

After a few more minutes of thrusting and cockslamming, Tobio’s hot spurts of seed were sent straight to the rubber as his movements became sloppy and uneven, pulling out of you only to see his semen filling up the condom. “That was fucking good.”

Your whole body has become limp, but you managed to turn around and cover yourself with the sheets, watching how Kageyama stood at the side of the bed to roll the rubber off his cock. “You came so much.”

“The fuck I did.” And he was cocky about it, too. However, his confidence was only fleeting when he assessed the bed frame and could not find any fault. “It didn’t break.”

“It’s a lot stronger than we assumed.” You chuckled at the way he scrunched his nose in disappointment. “It’s okay. The manufacturer gets extra points for this.”

At least, you two were satiated after fucking like animals in heat. You couldn’t even deny how sore you still were even after a few minutes of resting time and your boyfriend distracted your thoughts when he sat at the edge of the bed to meet your lips with his. “I love you.”

“I love you. Good luck on your game tomorrow.” You wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your chin on his shoulder.

“Do you think we should—”

“Kageyamaaa!”

The high-pitched voice nearly made you jump and your panic grew when it was added by the loud banging on the door. Hinata. He was back and you were still fucking naked.

“Dumbass, don’t come in!” Tobio yelled at the door, picking your clothes up and gesturing for you to wear them while he pulled his own boxers to cover himself. He then made his way towards the door and peeked at the peephole. “Hinata, just stay put.”

“Well, are you done?” the smaller guy asked, voice laced with humor. “We heard everything. Half the team’s next door. They’re asking if you were able to break the bed.” Someone was chuckling aside from Hinata and you got the hint that another team member was outside of the door.

You froze and lost the ability to function.

Holy shit.

Even Tobio himself was releasing a series of curses, shaking his head as he turned to you. You were supposed to feel ashamed. You were supposed to be so embarrassed that you would hide your face under the sheets, but strangely, the thought of being heard by nearly the whole team seemed to have ignited a newfound excitement inside of you.

Kageyama himself could see it on your face. “Don’t tell me…”

“No,” you giggled, clasping your bra back in. “No. It’s not what you think.”

Did you really just imagine yourself surrounded by his attractive teammates?

“If you’re up for it,” he confirmed your thoughts with a playful smirk. “We can let two or more people join.”

“Tobio!”

He wasn’t too bothered, though. In fact, he was entertaining the thought with curiosity as though he had been considering it in his head for a long time. You two liked trying new things to make up for your vanilla sex life and there was little to no shame when it came to sharing your weirdest kinks to your wildest dreams.

The bed certainly did not break, but you’ve just unlocked something even more exciting than proving the stability of the cardboard bed.

But this time around, no one else on Tiktok would have to know.

“So, are you down?” he asked, leaning his back against the wall as he waited for your approval. “I don’t mind sharing you.”

Your meek smile was a confirmation in itself. “If it helps improve their game, why not?”