#fingers crossed this really is real this time
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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"I'm Taking That As A Yes, Princess"
PAIRINGS: Ghostface!FratPresident!James "Bucky" Barnes x Reader
WARNINGS: Getting alcohol spilt on you, fingering, a bit angsty? (if you squint), semi-bathroom sex, swering, unprotected sex (darlings, please wrap your man's pig in a blanket), p in v, mentions of cum, handjob, a slight hint of a blowjob and slight fluff? (If I have missed anything, please feel free to let me know 😊)
WORD COUNT: 2,922
*not proof-read*
ENJOY!
Walking into the house, you were immediately surrounded by sweaty, sticky bodies. You grimaced at the overwhelming feeling and tried to find a space where you could catch your breath. The kitchen was relatively empty, except for a couple making out on the counter. You decided to mind your own business, reaching into the fridge and navigating past cans and bottles of beer to grab a water bottle hidden at the back.
You twisted the cap off and took a long sip. Everyone was dressed up differently, which made sense—it was Halloween. Instead of babysitting your little cousins, you’d faked being sick to your parents, dressed up, and come to the Alpha Phi house. This wasn’t like you at all. The top student in your class, the teacher’s pet, the early-assignment submitter, the girl who became a TA in her junior year—you were the “good girl.”
So why were you here? Because you’d overheard some girls talking about the infamous Halloween party that the Alpha Phi guys threw every year. And you weren’t the type who usually went to parties. So why this one? Because you’d heard that Steve Rogers was going to show up, and you had a little crush on the star player of the varsity ice hockey team. You’d been trying to muster the courage to talk to him ever since you sat next to him in a lab in your first year. That was two years ago, and you’d been harbouring feelings for him ever since.
Your heart did a little flip every time he smiled at you when you passed him in the halls. Finishing your water, you threw the bottle in the recycling bin and tugged your tutu down to avoid a wedgie. The ballerina costume was a last-minute, twenty-dollar buy, but you were happy with it—the corseted top accentuated your chest, and though the sheer tights were a bit snug, it didn’t bother you too much.
You were making your way through the crowd and spotted a tuft of blond hair. Your heart flipped again. This was it, the perfect moment. You were going to ask Steve if he wanted to go out sometime. He was tipsy enough to say yes, and if he said no, he’d be too focused on his hangover tomorrow to remember your question. You took a deep breath and started toward him.
Then you saw them. You’d thought the rumours weren’t true, that they couldn’t be real. But the sight of Steve Rogers making out with Peggy Carter would be forever etched in your mind, because the pain in your heart was unbearable. You stood frozen, your heart thudding in your chest as you watched Steve's hands roam over Peggy’s body. You clenched your jaw and sniffled, rooted to the spot.
You only snapped out of it when someone spilled their drink on you. “Damn, sorry, gorgeous,” a guy dressed as Fred from Scooby-Doo winked at you drunkenly before chuckling and moving away. You shook your head, trying to clean the alcohol off your costume.
“Hey, buddy. I think you owe the girl a real apology,” another voice piped up. You looked up to see a towering figure dressed as Ghostface, holding Fred by the shoulder. “Now, say you’re sorry—like you really mean it, and none of that half-assed stuff because you’re shitfaced,” Ghostface ordered, crossing his arms. Fred straightened up, looked you in the eye, and apologized sincerely. Ghostface nodded approvingly and sent him away.
Before you realized it, Ghostface had moved closer to you. You turned to see him looking you over, his mask bobbing as if inspecting your costume. He clicked his tongue and put a hand on the small of your back. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”
You both walked upstairs, where the sounds of the party gradually faded, and you were grateful for the quiet. You hesitated when he opened a door and gestured for you to go in.
For the first time that night, you spoke up. “Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t even know who you are.”
The chuckle that followed freaked you out a little, but then he reached up to remove the mask.
James. Freaking. Barnes.
You tried your best to mask your surprise, but you were sure he saw it, because the corners of his lips lifted into a smirk.
James “Bucky” Barnes—the captain of the varsity ice hockey team, a good student, a charmer, the president of Alpha Phi, and most importantly, the best friend of Steve Rogers.
You’ve met James a few times here and there. During some of the varsity games. And passed him in the dorms sometimes. He never caused you any trouble. He even offered to help you move-in in your second year when he clearly saw you struggle push your luggage up the stairs.
You were just acquaintances.
You swallowed and timidly walked into the pristine room, surprised by its immaculate condition. “I certainly didn’t expect a frat president to have such a clean room,” you muttered, hearing James laugh at your comment as he closed the door.
“Well, I don’t work well in a messy environment,” he shrugged and walked closer, his gaze trailing over your corset. You backed up slightly at the intensity of his approach, making him huff a laugh. “I don’t bite, princess,” he said, his fingers grazing the edge of your corset.
He gently guided you to the adjoining bathroom. “I’ll have to wash it out a bit. So, if you don’t mind getting your tutu a little damp, princess…,” he led, waiting for your response. You shook your head, signalling it was fine. He nodded toward the counter, and you hopped onto it.
He wetted a towel and began dabbing it on your clothes. “So, what’s a timid thing like you doing at a fraternity party?” he whispered, his focus on cleaning up the stain. You glanced at his concentrated face before looking away. “What? Can’t a girl come to a party?” you replied, defensively, for some reason.
James chuckled, “Oh, a girl can come to a party. But you, you’re not that type of girl, princess.” You raised an eyebrow at him, puzzled by his statement. “I mean, you never come to parties in general. So why the sudden appearance?” He sighed and caged you between his arms.
You tensed, starting to stammer. “Well, I wanted to see someone,” you shrugged, looking down at your hands.
“Yeah?” James asked, his gaze piercing. “Who was the special guy?”
You looked up at him through your lashes, then quickly looked away. He used two fingers to tilt your face toward him. “Eyes on me, princess,” he said softly.
“Steve. I came to ask Steve out…,” you admitted, spilling your secret.
James looked at you with you look, you couldn’t decipher what it was. But you didn’t know what to feel about it. He looked into your eyes for so long, you started to tear up due to the lack of blinking.
“Steve…,” he dragged it, and it made you wonder why. But you didn’t question it.
He continued to dab the wet cloth to your clothes. “You didn’t have to do that you know… The, um, asking the guy to apologize to me,” you broke the silence, because you couldn’t take the stuffy air that was in between the both of you.
James shook his head and chuckled as he dabbed on your neckline. “If I didn’t my Ma would scold my ear off if she knew. And, besides, a pretty girl needs to be treated right.”
You’re breathing stops at that, and you looked up at him with a confused look. He smirked at your expression, “what?” You shook you head and asked him, “you think I’m pretty?”
James scoffed and nodded, “I would have to be blind if I didn’t think your stunning, princess.”
You didn’t realise but your lips and James’ were a hair breadths away. “James…,” you tried to start but James beat you to it, “Bucky, princess. Call me Bucky.”
You gulped and nodded.
“Bucky.”
He groaned at they way his named sounded on your tongue. “Princess, your killin’ me here,” he whispered more to himself than at you. His knuckles gripped onto the counter tight. “Please…,” he muttered.
“Pardon?” you didn’t catch what he said.
“Please let me kiss you.”
You froze, you didn’t know what to do.
You always thought Bucky was hot. Hotter than Steve, but you never had any classes with him to fully judge him. You were a hundred percent sure that if Bucky was your lab partner instead of Steve, you’d totally be crushing on Bucky instead.
And if that were the case, you’d be nodding your head like a mad man. Steve was taken, you were still recovering from that. Bucky, apparently, liked you. Liked you more than you thought he did.
You saw the way his gaze flickered from your eyes to you lips and back to your eyes. Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, and saw his pupils dilate at the movement.
“I-,” you started but your thoughts were washed away when you saw Bucky lick his lips too. You heart thuds in your chest as you feel like the whole world is dark and the spotlight is just on you with the way Bucky looks like you. There’s a small part of you that wanted to feel how his lips would feel against you.
So, you nodded.
Before you knew it, Bucky was standing between your legs and gripping your hips. He then pulled you close and smashed his lips on yours. You took a second to understand what was going on, but when your conscious did come back to you cupped his face and kissed him back.
He licked at your bottom lip asking your permission to open up your mouth and you allowed it immediately. Soon your tongues were dancing together, yours was meek and shy letting Bucky do all the taking over. You wrapped your arms around his neck and whimpers against his mouth, which just made him groan against you.
He moved his lips from your mouth to your jaw, then to your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access, and the more you let him the more your whimpers turn to moans.
He moves his hands all over your body, “this okay, princess?” He whispered against your skin, and you nodded fervently and grasped at his black cloak. You felt him palm at your chest, and you sighed and whispered a, “more, Bucky, please.” He nodded against your skin and moved his hands up your thighs and squeezes the flesh of your thighs.
You felt the heat pool between your things and squeezed them together. Bucky smirked and pushed them away, “nuh uh, none o’ that.” He got closer to you, and you wrapped your legs around his hips and chuckled. His hands moved to your inner thighs, and you gasped out, the wetness pooling more into your underwear.
You felt his knuckles brushed against your core and you whimpered and dropped your head against his shoulder. “Please, Bucky,” you muttered against his costume. Without any other word he ripped your tights at the centre and felt the wet path of white cotton.
“Oh princess, so wet f’me already?” Bucky snickered and you nodded at his question. He rubbed his knuckles against your cunt’s lips and pressed his fingers harder when he heard your soft mewl. “You like it don’t you, princess?” To which you nodded again and whispered his name breathlessly.
He pushed your underwear aside and sunk his thick fingers in, and you whined at the intrusion. The sweet stretch felt better than your own meek fingers and soon Bucky was pumping his fingers in and out making your legs shake. “I’m not even rubbing your clit, princess. Your legs are already shaking,” he whispered roughly against your ear.
His thumb started to rub at your clit and that’s when you lost your mind. You mewled and moaned his name as his fingers were rubbing that deep spot in you and his thumb playing with your button has you becoming a wailing mess. He bends down and started to attack your neck. “Fuck, Bucky. Please,” you cried out as you feel your impending orgasm start to build at your core.
Bucky roughly rubbed at your clit and within seconds your gushed around his fingers. You sighed and untensed your shoulders. Bucky brought his fingers to his mouth, closed his eyes and licked them clean. You whimpered at the sight.
You both leaned in and captured the other in a deep kiss, Bucky picked you up like you weighed nothing and exited the bathroom and walked until he placed you down on his bed.
He pulled the Ghostface mask down and leaned to tower over you. You bit your lip, and he chuckled, “didn’t know princess was a bit freaky, hmm?” He unbuckled his belt under the cloak, and you took off your tutu and tossed it somewhere in his room.
When he managed to get his cock out of his pants, your eyes widened as the sheer size of him and then looked at him to see the small smirk that was painted on his lips. “Something wrong, princess?” You gulped and said, “it’s not gonna fit.”
Bucky chuckled and leaned over you once more and whispered into your ear, “we’ll make it fit, princess.” The tone he used made you shiver, and you gripped onto his shoulders and readied yourself. Bucky ran his shaft up and down you’re sit and you whined desperately.
“Bucky, please. I need you,” you squeezed your eyes shut and threw your head back. He tapped your cheek with two fingers and said, “eyes on me, princess.” And with that Bucky slowly pushed inside you. The stretch was so deliciously sweet and painful it made you lose your mind. You both gasped at the feeling of him moving further into you.
“Fuck, princess. You’re so tight,” he grits out as he starts to slowly thrust in and out of you. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist and your nails raked down his back and he let out a deep moan which made goosebumps raise on your skin.
The sound of skin slapping on skin wasn’t’ as loud as your wails of Bucky’s name and moans. When the tip of him tapped against that spot in you, your eyes rolled to the back of your mind and you squealed, “Bucky right there, oh! Right there!”
Bucky grabbed a hold of the headboard and thrusted harder into you, aiming at that same spot and you felt tears run down the side of face in pleasure. “Fuck, princess. Gripping me like a vice,” he purses his lips as he knocked his hips against yours.
You felt the sheer length of him move in and out of you, your walls embraced him like he was meant to be there in the first place. “Attagirl. Take what I give you, yeah?” He huffed against your ear. The coarse patch of pubic hair that rested at the bottom of his happy trail, rubbed against your clit giving your that nice friction and it made you whine even more.
He pressed a hand against your abdomen and pressed down harder and it made the feeling even better. He saw how you reacted and pressed down harder, and you arched your back at the feeling. With that you felt the climax in you start to rise, “Bucky, I’m so close.” You whimpered as you watched the man wearing the Ghostface mask rut into you expertly.
He threw your legs over his shoulders and rutted into your harder, the band at your core bends and bends until it finally snapped and soon you were coming around Bucky’s cock.
Bucky groaned deeply at you squeezing him tightly, he pulled out and you whined at the loss of the feeling. He was fisting his length at the sight of you post orgasmic bliss and it looked so hot from your perspective. You quickly got on your knees and replaced Bucky’s hand with yours. “Fucking hell, princess,” he ran a hand through your hair and bunched it up at the back of your head. “That’s it, making me feel so good,” he sighed and threw his head back.
He groaned when you parted your lips, the mushroom head of his member inches away from your mouth. He tipped his head back, “fuck I’m so close.” And soon you felt his warm spent spill down your throat. Bucky moaned at the sight, and his chest reverberated deeply when he saw you swallow.
He pushed you down to lay on your back again and he then he laid next to you. You reached up and took of his Ghostface mask so you can his face. “That desperate to see my face? Hmm?” He smirked at your action. You shook your head and chuckled shyly, “maybe.”
Bucky reached up and caressed your face. “You know you’re really pretty right, princess?” You blushed at his comment, “buy me dinner first, Barnes.” Bucky chuckled and then nodded, “are you free this weekend?”
You froze, “you can’t be serious.”
“Well, I kinda am.”
“You are a piece of work James Barnes,”
“Should I take that as a, yes?”
You chuckled and shook your head; you gave him a soft smile.
“I’m taking that as a yes, princess.”
🎀🎀🎀
A fic posted during the midst of exam period?!
I would like to thank @buck-star for helping me with coming up with this idea!
This took a while and it's ALOT, but late night productivity hit me like a freight train haha.
I've one more exam in the next week and I'll be done!
Hope you lovelies liked this!
Lemme know what y'all think of the fic!
Till' then,
Stay Coquette-y,
Anya 🫶🏽🕊️🎀
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader smut#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky#bucky x reader#bucky x you#the winter soldier#james bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes and reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fandom#bucky barnes fic
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in the stars (c.bg)
pairing: alien!beomgyu x abduction victim!reader
preview: scientists didn't even know aliens existed until like, a week ago. now here you are on one of their ships being taken to their planet to repopulate their species.
tags/warnings: fem reader, monster cocks!beomgyu, two cocks, beomgyu has three eyes idk, tentacles...., his arms have suction cups, marking, oral (m.receiving), aphrodisiac use, knotting (?), breeding, dacryphilia, pet names (baby, my salvation, pretty girl), biting, praise + degradation, bulge kink, overstimulation, kinda subby beomgyu, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampies obvi
trigger warnings: abduction, forced aphrodisiac consumption
wc: 3.2k
song recs for this fic: e.t by katy perry
a/n: my goodness
walking through the forest near your house has always been calming for you. the peaceful quietness of the forest after dark is something you longed for all day. today was no different. a long day at work had you heading for the forest as soon as you got home. you gathered your flashlight, blanket and a sweater and locked your car. leaves crunched under your shoes as you disappeared deeper into the thicket.
the light of day disappeared quickly as you wandered deeper and deeper. by the time you found a spot to lay your blanket, the stars were starting to appear. you placed your fluffy blanket down on the ground softly, laying down to watch more stars litter the sky. this activity was something that had begun to be advised against. the discovery of aliens had made most people scared to be outdoors for long periods of time.
you, however, were in denial about this supposed alien life that had been discovered. it felt like weird timing that you couldn’t put your finger on. therefore until you saw one with your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe anything about the aliens. the stars sparkle in the sky as the sky reaches its darkest state. you ponder on the extraterrestrial life that has finally shown itself. would they ever really invade earth? you wondered how the world would react to this kind of attack.
you shake your head. the aliens aren’t real, there’s no invasion to worry about. the government just wants to make up a distraction for some scandal. you raise your arms to rest them under your head, admiring the beautiful sky. your eyes lock onto a star that seems much brighter than the rest of them. but not in a ‘northern star’ way, but in an unnatural way. you rise and sit cross legged, tilting your head in confusion. it almost seems like it’s getting bigger or, like, approaching you.
you stand up and stare up at the light. you realize that it is, in fact, approaching you. the light gets bigger and bigger until a beam of light appears in a circle on the ground. it seems like the light is searching for something. you stand in place like a deer in headlights before deciding to get out of there. you leave all of your things where they were and start running. your quick movements seem to have alerted the light and it starts chasing after you. you run as fast as you possibly can, your legs working overtime. your foot catches on a branch and you come tumbling down onto the ground.
the light settles onto you, the harsh wind from some kind of aircraft sending leaves and twigs flying. before you know it, your body is being lifted off the ground. you thrash around, trying to escape. before you know it, you’re reaching the source of the bright light. you see some sort of door open before you lose consciousness.
____________________________________
you come to, the lights of a bright, white room blinding you. you squint, adjusting to your surroundings. your eyes struggle with the lights, the room feeling ten times brighter with the harsh fluorescents. your eyes settle on a dark figure in the corner of the room. the figure seems skittish, avoiding your gaze. “hello?” you say, your voice breaking. it feels like you had been screaming, but you have no memory of anything since being lifted into the air.
your eyes adjust to see what looks like a person in the corner. you can see the person fiddling with their hands. “h-hello, human,” he responds. he sounds like he has some weird accent that you can’t place. he wanders closer to you, and you can finally get a better look at him. you know immediately that this is one of the aliens you were so in denial about. his arms up to his elbows are a dark purple and so is his nose and the tips of his ears. it’s a beautiful shade but also very inhuman. he also has a third eye sitting in the middle of his forehead, between his other two eyes. his inner arms up to his shoulders were adorned with small suction cups like an octopus. other than his obviously alien-like features, he looks relatively human. he has a pretty, dark wolf cut and two of his eyes are brown, despite his third one being a bright yellow. he has pretty, pink lips and flushed cheeks. he looks so nervous to be near you, despite being the one who abducted you.
you try and get up out of the chair you’re in and find your legs to be strapped down, along with your wrists. “please, stay calm, don’t fight the restraints,” he speaks again, his eyes darting all over the room. anywhere but you. “why are you doing this? please, let me go. i won’t tell anyone about this,” you plead, worried your life is in the hands of this being. “i’m not g-going to kill you,” he explains. he almost seems more scared than you are. “i need your help.” you furrow your brows, confused. “for what?” you ask, tugging on your restraints again. “my people… they’re going extinct. there are no females left on my planet,” he trails off, his eyes staying glued to the floor. “i chose you to help me with… repopulation.”
your eyes widen so much that you’re worried they might pop out of your head. “repopulation!? no, no, no, i can’t help you with that,” you smile awkwardly, not knowing how to even react to this information. “i’m human and you’re… what are you? and who are you?” you ask, looking him up and down. “i’m beomgyu and i’m from venus. i’m a verenok,” he explains, as if it was nothing to you. as if you would understand. “okay, my point still stands. i’m a human and you’re an alien. how am i supposed to repopulate your planet if we’re of different species’?” you do your best to gesture at yourself, despite beomgyu not even looking in your direction.
“w-we don’t have to be the same species. i just have to… uh…” he trails off and scratches the back of his neck nervously. “you have to what?” you ask, worry filling your tone of voice. “i have to knot you,” he blurts out. you look at him, confused. you had no idea what that meant but you can only assume it’s some sort of mating thing. when he scans your facial expressions, he panics and adds more to his statement. “it’ll feel so good, i promise. i have this pill to give you that will prepare you. it’s an aphrodisiac,” he reaches into the pocket of his pants and holds up a medium sized pink pill. before you can respond, he walks over to you and forces your mouth open. he drops the pill down your throat, followed by a syringe of water that seemingly came from the same pocket.
he looks at you with guilty eyes, seeming to immediately regret his decision. “i’m sorry. i just really, really need your cooperation. i’ll be back in a bit once the pill starts working to see how you feel,” he explains before scurrying away and out the door. you open your mouth to call out to him, but it’s too late. you settle into your spot on the examination table you were currently strapped to. an aphrodisiac? did he seriously just force a sex drug down your throat? all you could really do was wait, either for him to come back or for the meds to kick in.
much to your dismay, the meds kick in long before beomgyu returns. you’re writhing on the table, your whole body burning. you clench your thighs together, desperate for any form of friction. you sweat profusely, your clothes sticking to your body disgustingly. “beomgyuuu,” you call out for him, you body basically begging for the man who had previously promised you sex. you begin to border on crying, your core so desperate to be touched. “gyu, please come back, i know you can hear me. i’ll help you, i promise. please,” you plead, your back arching and relaxing repeatedly.
the door on the other side of the room opens and beomgyu pops his head in. “you’ll help me?” he asks, and you nod immediately. “yes! yes, please beomgyu. i’ll do anything, just please touch me,” you pull at your restraints, trying to get at him. beomgyu reaches into his pocket and suddenly your restraints are released. you’re quick to scramble off the exam table and crawl over to beomgyu who had slightly migrated into the room. you rest on your knees and place your hands in a praying position. “please, please, i need you to fuck me,” you beg. your eyes trail down from his eyes to his crotch that you’re eye level with. “i need you in my mouth, beomgyu, please.” beomgyu looks down at you with a shocked, but lust filled expression. “o-okay. go ahead, human.”
your mouth waters as you pull his pants down. your jaw drops when your faced with two giant, purple cocks. you barely know what to do with yourself at this discovery. you had had an inkling that he would be purple down here, considering the coloring of other parts of his body. “so pretty,” you mumble before connecting your mouth to the cock that sits below the other one. you wrap your hand around the one that isn’t resting in your mouth. beomgyu sighs in relief, his eyes crossing in pleasure. he staggers, his hands connecting to your hair. he strips himself of his shirt, revealing tentacles that sit on his ribcage. they’re long and seem to be able to elongate themselves. they move and wiggle down to your neck, wrapping themselves around and tightening ever so slightly.
the bulge in your throat moved deliciously under his tentacles, his instincts taking over and tightening around your throat more to feel it better. you choke and cough around him, sinking your mouth further down to take more of him. your hand moves swiftly while stroking his other cock, making sure he feels the most pleasure you can offer. you feel some of the suckers on his tentacles attach themselves to your neck. they make a slurping noise when sucking against your skin, leaving dark purple circle marks on your supple skin. you dig your nails into his hips, finding that his legs are purple up to mid-thigh.
you do your best to take the entirety of his length down your throat, but it’s physically impossible. beomgyu whimpers and whines every time you make an effort to take more of him down your throat. “okay, okay, fuck, i don’t think y-you want my cum down your throat,” he moves to push your head away from him and you pull him back. “gyu, please, need it,” you beg, giving the tip of his lower cock kitten licks. you take him back into your mouth and bob your head faster. you use your hand to jerk his other cock at the same speed, your body aching for him to cum for you. “please, please,” you chant, pleading for what you need.
beomgyu’s breath gets caught in his throat as he finally finishes, his cocks releasing cum down your throat and on your face. your whole body shakes, the feeling of him getting off to your pleasure making you feel like an animal. you remove your mouth from him and swallow to the best of your abilities. you lick your hand and do your best to collect the semen from your face and shove it into your mouth. you find that his semen is very different from that of a human man. it’s sweet and kind of tinted purple. you almost feel hungry for more to consume. you look up at beomgyu and find that he’s still painfully hard. “get back on the table,” he demands. the tone of his voice completely shifting.
you scramble to get yourself back to where you had started. beomgyu follows you just as quickly. as soon as you settle down on the examination table, beomgyu hooks his fingers under the waistband of your pants and strips your bottom half. your legs spread on their own, inviting him between your legs. the tentacles from his ribs slither to your core, one of them teasing your hole and the other finding your clit. he leans over you to connect his mouth with yours, kissing you with almost bruising force. he lifts your shirt over your head and discards it somewhere else in the room. he wraps his arms around your waist, the suckers on his arms squishing against you and sucking like his mouth would. you can feel that you’ll end up with hickies all over your body, your body turning a similar shade to beomgyu. “you look prettier like this, my salvation. you’re my color now.”
he presses firmly against you, his arms holding you in place, his cocks brushing your entrance deliciously. he peppers your face and neck with kisses while his tentacles move to wrap around your breasts. they attach and detach from your skin, leaving dark marks in their wake. “you can t-take both, right?” he asks as he moves one hand down to align himself properly. in your delirious haze, you find yourself nodding desperately. you were sweating and whining, your hole begging to be filled. “you’re acting like a bitch in heat, are you sure you’re not one of us?” he chuckles and you can do nothing but buck your hips against him.
he squeezes the tips of both cocks together, doing his best to at least make the initial stretch less unbearable. you’re soaking wet and desperate, so you couldn’t care less how much this was going to sting. beomgyu shoves into you at an agonizingly slow pace, but it makes your brain absolutely go numb. it takes him probably a good couple minutes to fully bottom out at the speed he’s going. when he finally does, there’s a very obvious bulge in your lower stomach. your jaw hung slack as your body desperately tried to adjust. “so big… so good…” you mumble, lifting your head to look down between your legs and admire the way you look spread open. your eyes then trail up to beomgyu’s face and you’re met with the most beautiful sight.
the alien between your legs had his pretty bottom lip caught between his sharp teeth, his own eyes also admiring the way he disappeared into you. you could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open, the pleasure overtaking him. his cheeks flushed a dark pink, seeming to be in disbelief that he had actually managed to get inside his human captive. “fuck, baby, you’re sucking me in like a good girl. i knew you’d be the perfect candidate,” he brushes a hand over the bulge in your stomach before using his arm to hold himself up over you. he runs his purple tongue over his fanged teeth, before scanning your body.
“need… please move,” you plead, clenching and unclenching around him repeatedly. finally, he draws his hips back, before slamming into you. you cry out immediately, the feeling being such an intense mix of pain and pleasure that your nerves have no idea how to react. you feel like your whole body is on fire, the aphrodisiac working its magic to make your body desperate for more despite being filled with two cocks. you grab him by the nape of his neck and connect your mouths, desperate for as much contact as possible. he wraps his arms around you again, placing them meticulously so that he fills the empty space on your torso with more dark purple and blue marks.
he thrusts into you with so little mercy or care for your human state. he folds you in half, connecting his suckers to the backs of your thighs to keep you in place. his tentacles slither away from your chest and down to your core. one connects a sucker to your clit and the other forces its way into your hole along with his cocks. “gyu, fuck, need to cum,” your eyes burn with tears as your orgasm comes hurdling towards you like a train. “oh, my perfect salvation,” he mumbles against your mouth. “you can cum, but i’m not gonna stop. have to breed you,” he runs his tongue over your bottom lip as he finishes speaking before kissing you once again. your orgasm crashes over you and your whole body trembles in his hold. he holds you down tighter, your body beginning to fight against him from overstimulation.
“oh, don’t fight it, pretty girl. you know you want more. you’re practically bursting at the seams,” he taunts you. he removes his mouth from yours before connecting it to your jugular. your legs shake and try desperately to close, but his strength is much more than yours. he kisses the side of your neck before sinking his teeth into a seemingly specific part of your neck. “mine, mine, mine, all mine,” he mutters. his possessiveness over you has you inching closer and closer to a second oragsm. he can feel you tensing again, and it’s perfect timing. “gonna knot you this time, baby. it’s gonna feel a little weird, but it’ll ensure that you’re impregnated.”
you nod despite the fact that none of his words had actually registered in your brain. the tentacle that had been wriggling around inside you pulled itself out. as you came, you felt his cocks get impossibly bigger inside you. as the bases of his cocks swell and plug your hole, his whole demeanor changes. his previously mostly dominant behavior completely. he unsticks his arms from your legs and lets them rest on his hips. he leans on his elbows next to your head and strokes your hair. he looks at you like he’s never loved anyone more than you. “you’re perfect. i couldn’t have picked someone better, my salvation.” he swells inside you more and more, and you feel like you’re going to explode.
finally, you feel him filling you to the brim with his cum, and you can almost feel that he’s filling you directly in your womb. the experience has you feeling drunk. your eyes cross and you drink in the feeling of him finally filling you up. your body is exhausted and it’s almost like his knot was the antidote for the aphrodisiac you had taken. he slowly pulls out of you, a glob of cum following him. he pants, wiping his forehead with his forearm. “okay, i’m gonna go get you some clothes and a towel, and then we begin our journey back to venus.”
you raise your hand to your neck, feeling the mark of his teeth in your skin. your brain comes to an understanding that you are, in fact, his. you don’t mind all too much. “i’m sorry, i’ve never knotted anyone before. it’s a sacred practice that we’ve now shared,” beomgyu explains as he cleans you up and helps you put on robes similar to his. “um, we are mates forever now though.” you shrug, hopping down from the table. “that’s okay. i like you,” you smile and wander around the room. “i’m y/n by the way, since you never asked for my name.” you walk back over to him and admire his stature next to you.
“ready to go home?” he asks you, and you nod. “let’s go home.”
© lomlhwa 2024
#lomlhwa#txt#tomorrow x together#beomgyu#choi beomgyu#txt smut#tomorrow x together smut#beomgyu smut#choi beomgyu smut
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Hello! I recently came across your hughes brothers fics and binge read most of them last night :). Would you be open to writing anything about the time Luke said quinn ripped jack’s braces out of his mouth? (If you’re not taking requests feel free to ignore this!!!)
Luke never feels like eating much before cross-country. He likes it fine - he likes it more than fine actually, at least compared to Jack and Quinn, because it’s one of the few things he’s better at than them - but the thought of slogging it through the mud straight after breakfast makes his stomach roll.
He swirls his spoon around his bowl of cereal instead, trying to corral his Cheerios into a pleasing formation. He’s got a kind of Great Lakes thing going on but he’s eaten Lake Superior and it’s doesn’t really make sense for the milk to be the land and -
“Time to go, kiddos!”
He swallows Lakes Erie, Michigan, Huron and Ontario, and the surrounding landmass with a grimace, and shuffles into the hall. Jack and Quinn are already sitting on the stairs wearing matching fleecy headbands and looking miserable.
“It’s cold,” Jack whines.
“Run faster then,” their mom says, rummaging through her purse. “You’ll soon warm up.” She looks real pretty today, Luke thinks. Like maybe she did her hair extra nice or something. He pulls his headband on and sits on the bottom step, cheek resting on Quinn’s knee, to wait.
“Jim!” she bellows. “Hurry up! I’m already running late!”
“For what?” Their dad’s head appears through the basement door, followed by his golf clubs and then the rest of him. “Where are you going?”
“Where are you going?”
“The PTA fall fundraiser,” says his mom, at the same time his dad says, “Golf.”
“It’s on the calendar,” they both say at the same time.
“Well, you’ll have to reschedule,” says his mom in that voice that means no arguing. “Boys have a meet in Sunnybrook.”
“But -” splutters his dad. “I can’t reschedule. I put it on the calendar, like you told me to.” He lowers his voice, pleading. “El, it’s with the guys.”
“It’s okay mom,” says Quinn, standing up to lean over the bannister and pat her shoulder consolingly. “We’ll miss cross-country this one time.”
“Let me see this,” she growls, and they all trot into the kitchen after her to peer at her Wildflowers of Texas calendar.
Fall Fundraiser shift 9-12 is written in today’s box in his mom’s neat handwriting, and below that:
Q, J & L Prep 2 XC 9am (don’t forget headbands!!)
Someone’s drawn a skull next to cross-country, almost- but-not-quite obscuring a tiny and unmistakable golf printed right at the bottom.
“See?” says his dad, jabbing a finger at it.
“Well, just go after the race and take the boys with you,” she says, already fishing out her car keys.
“But - tee time is at nine! Ellen!”
“It’d better be a quick race then, hadn’t it?”
She kisses each of them, pinching Jack’s scowling face and adjusting Quinn’s headband. Luke turns his face into her fleeting pat on the cheek before she’s out the door in a waft of perfume.
“Run fast and don’t fall in the lake!” she calls ominously over her shoulder, just before the door swings shut behind her.
Their dad waits for her SUV to pull out of the drive and down the road before he flicks the curtain back into place and motions for them all to huddle in.
“Come here, rink rats.” He tugs them in close, lowers his voice like he’s about to reveal some top-secret play. “And listen up. This is the plan.”
***
The plan turns out to be the ODR, a bag of pucks and a cheery, “I’ll pick you up in a coupla hours!” before Luke’s even out of the car.
Jack whoops with happiness the minute he hits the ice, spinning and sending the pucks scattering in every direction. Quinn’s right behind him, thwacking puck after puck into the net.
“Fuck.” Thwack “Cross.” Thwack “Countryyyyy.” Thwack
“Forever,” Jack sing-songs, sweeping one up onto his stick and slinging it through the air. It bounces off the metal with a twang.
“C’mon Lukey,” he calls, scuffling playfully against Quinn. “Don’t pretend you actually like that shit.”
Luke tries to sulk for a bit, taking his time with his laces. His brothers hadn't even laced them up for him, which, rude. But it’s a perfect November morning, as crisp and perfect as a snowglobe before you turn it upside down. They’ve got the whole rink to themselves. It’s been way too long since they did this: no adults, no cones or drills or gear, just the three of them together, playing hockey.
“Yeah, well some of us can actually outrun old ladies pushing little dogs in strollers,” he chirps, darting out into the middle.
Quinn and Jack exchange a look. “Get ��im,” growls Quinn, with a wolfish grin, lurching towards Luke and trying to hook him in with his stick. Luke squeals, twisting away and rocketing as fast as he can up to the other end of the rink, Jack in hot pursuit. They chase him all over, dodging pucks and their abandoned sticks and gloves, until they’re all wheezing with giggles. Quinn eventually manages to get an arm around his neck from behind and pull them both down and Jack belly-flops on top.
“One day,” Luke pants from the bottom of the dogpile, trying to knee Quinn in the balls so he’ll let him up and getting a facewash for his troubles, “I’m gonna be bigger and faster than both of you.”
“But until that day,” Quinn replies, finally rolling off and tugging Luke to his feet, “You can get in goal.”
They play shinny until they’re hot under their sweatshirts and jerseys, hair sticking to their foreheads and breath coming in short pants, and Luke thinks he’s never had so much fun playing hockey, playing anything. It’s hard though, just as gut-churning as a whole weekend tournament or relentless drills in the basement with his dad. Jack and Quinn never give an inch, never care that he’s smaller and younger when it comes to this, and he loves them for it, because when victory comes, he knows he’s earned it. They push each other just as hard, sometimes too hard Luke thinks, watching Jack cuss and elbow Quinn in the gut as they're scrabbling against the boards. Quinn shoves his face back, and the next minute they’re rolling around on the ice in one of their completely shitty fistfights.
Luke hovers next to them, glancing around and praying no one he knows from school is about to walk past.
“Stop. Trying. To. Bite.” pants out Quinn. He’s managed to roll over and pin Jack with his weight, and is trying to push his face away. Jack’s a slippery eel though - especially when he’s an eel on ice - and he seems to be trying to lick Quinn to get him off. Which is not a tactic Luke would use himself, honestly, but whatever works he guesses. It must work, because he manages to sink his teeth into Quinn’s forearm and they’re rolling all over the place, gloves and sticks forgotten - thank God. What happens next is a blur of flying arms and legs (and in Jack’s case teeth, the weirdo), but suddenly Jack lets out a shriek of pain - a real one - and Quinn lets go of him like he’s been burned.
Jack curls up, one hand over his mouth, and whimpers into his knees.
“Jack? What’s wrong?” Quinn tries to make him look up, pull his hand down. Jack’s eyes are huge with unshed tears. “Jackie?” Quinn asks again, really worried now.
“Um,” says Luke. He squats down next to Jack and picks up the little piece of metal off the ice. Cradling it in his glove, he holds it out to Jack, who gazes at it for a moment and then promptly socks Quinn square in the jaw.
***
“Someone’s arm better be hanging off,” growls their father when he pulls up to the curb they’re huddled next to and flings the car door open. Luke wordlessly holds out the braces to him. “The fuck is that?”
“Jack’s braces,” mumbles Quinn, with a guilty glance at the unhappy figure hunched on the other side of the lot.
“Jack has braces?” Sometimes Luke thinks he could grow a tail and his dad wouldn’t notice unless it affected his play. Last week he had to check Quinn’s date of birth so he could fill out some paperwork.
“He doesn’t anymore, Dad,” Luke pipes up.
“Jack! Get over here!” he bellows. He takes the braces from Luke’s hand, holding them up for a better view. “These things just click back into place or what?” Jack stomps over, scowling and sniffing. He won’t even look at Quinn, and when Quinn tries to reach out his hand Jack smacks it away viciously.
“Fuck off.”
Their dad gets a handful of Jack’s jersey and tries to prise his mouth open like he’s a dog that’s eaten something bad. “Oww", whines Jack, trying to twist out of his grip. “You’re hurting me!”
“Open. Up.” Their dad grunts, trying to push the braces back across Jack’s front teeth with one hand, and hold him still with the other.
“Dad, no! Stop!” Quinn pushes himself between them, trying to protect Jack from being force-fed a mouthful of metal. “You can’t do that! We have to go to the orthodontist.”
“The what?” he pants, temporarily letting go of Jack to turn the metal round, as if the reason he couldn’t fit them back on like Lego was that they were upside down. Jack immediately darts behind Quinn and Luke reaches up to swipe them out of their Dad’s hand.
“Dad,” he says, more bravely than he feels. “I think you need to call Mom.”
The three of them huddle together on the backseat, trying to stay as quiet and inconspicuous as possible as their dad calls their mom for instruction. Luke finds a packet of half-eaten Reese’s pumpkins, no worse for being frozen and unfrozen a few times and settles in for the long-haul. Jack slumps sideways with his head in Quinn’s lap, playing with the strings of his sweatshirt and allowing Quinn to scratch behind his ear in apology.
She’s ominously silent all the way through the slightly edited version of what happened, not even interrupting to yell at Quinn.
“So let me get this straight,” she says, after a pause. “You didn’t take your sons to their scheduled sports-activity but instead took yourself to golf and allowed said sons out unsupervised to publicly brawl, causing hundreds of dollars of dental bills?”
“It was on the calendar! It was on the calendar Ellen!”
“Well Jim Hughes, all I will say is thank God for Canadian healthcare.”
“They cover braces?” says his dad, perking up. He twists round to waggle his eyebrows at them, all looks like we got away with it.
“Oh no,” she says airily. “I meant for you four, when I’ve finished with you!”
#fic#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes#for anon#i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it
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Quiet sunlit places
Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader [callsign - Scout]
Summary - Times change and so does Scout’s relationship with Ghost. It’s been weeks since she’s seen him and she’s happy to see him when he comes home.
Wc - 8.6k
Cw - 18+, smut, fingering, PinV sex, mention of injury, established relationship, soft Ghost, written in 3rd person with no physical description of female character whatsoever
Dreary raining England.
A sharp bite in the cold spring breeze, all wet grass and misted fog, sitting heavy in the air. Soil and earth. Petrichor permeating on the wind, carrying with it the change in season. The bloom in the flowers and the shifting shade of colour in the leaves that sit stark on the branches.
The sunrise was barely breaking over the horizon, peachy-violet sky blotched with peeling yellow clouds and tints of silvery blue. Yet, despite the hour, Scout had already been up for hours, body unable to slacken and take a back step due to the ever changing internal clock she was forced to accustom herself to.
It wasn’t a problem, not really, not when it was this peaceful back in Herefordshire.
Back at Stirling Lines, back to where it all first started for her and most of her squadron too. These training grounds and drill fields; grazed knees and busted lips, split knuckles and bruised bodies. Harsh words thrown with no true malice behind them, wet clothes sticking to skin and hours spent laying in the ankle-deep mud.
These memories. Scout could still remember the aches and the pains; pins and needles in her legs from kneeling for hours on end, her neck and shoulders sore from having to hold the weight of a teammate across her back for extraction drills, all of it felt like it were just yesterday.
Back when she was merely a wet behind the ears trooper, willing to please, awaiting her next command with the same eagerness of a heeling dog. She had always wanted to test the waters to see how far she could go; a test of her wills and patience and determination, a real taster for what was to come. For what the army would make of her. Going back to those times, it got Scout thinking, realising just how far she’d come in the years since she’d joined up.
No longer was she that cocky teenager with a big mouth and even bigger hunger for validation; desperate to fit in and find a place. Maybe her cockiness had shifted into a more self aware confidence, the self acknowledgment that she did in fact know what she was doing- and she did it fucking well.
~
She ran until she felt the familiar burn searing in her lungs. Feet hitting the ground in lengthened strikes, one two one two one two, patterned and controlled in tandem. Her lips agape, greedily heaving on air as she pushed for a sprint, arms swinging as her hair stuck to the perspiration on her forehead. She rounded the end of the field length, trainers scuffing against the tarmac as she slowed down too quickly, heaving chest straining as she braced her palms on her knees- sucking down air.
The pain was caught in her sternum, a ripened burn, sickly and exhilarating all the same. She whistled as she straightened up, stretching her spine till she was arched back slightly, swinging her arms to cross over the top of her head to allow more air into her poor-screaming lungs. Somehow, a smile found its way to her lips, toothy and giddy. Pulse racing under her skin, buzzing with so much adrenaline that she needed to walk it off, let the steam billow away on the crisp breeze as she jogged laps to sate the itch of fire in her bloodstream.
It had been weeks since the entirety of 141 had all been together under the same roof. After the explosion incident in buttfuck Mexico, it seemed the missions were now staggered; for Scout at least. Laswell’s attempt to ease her back in gently, you need to walk before you can run she’d said.
Scout had been sent on more reconnaissance based infills, gathering information, tagging phone lines and contact points, get in-get out type shit. Gaz had been more than efficient company, made it all the more easy, in and out without a hitch, without so much as a footprint in the sand.
It had been more than two months. Scout’s broken collarbone had healed within one and for a fleeting moment, as soon as she got her medical clearance, that wet behind the ears rookie was back. Waiting for more, chomping at the bit to get a move on and get down to the nitty gritty, to find some real sustenance to sink her canines into. She’d kept herself busy, not allowing the pull in her fractured ribs or the ache in her clavicle to hold her back; she hit the treadmill and ran laps, sweat slicked skin and furrowed brow, pushing through the pain - determined to keep her place within the team, unable to comprehend what would happen if she were sent on medical leave.
When the first mission from Laswell came in after Scout had healed, the soldier had actually jumped out of her chair; Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz all eyeing her from their peripherals as Laswell continued with her brief via video call. All of them stuffed into a meeting room, blue felt chairs that were uncomfortable and small, the blinds a dusty beige, stifling atmosphere suddenly feather light to Scout with the bright prospect of leaving base.
Scout accepted without question, a swell in her chest as she insisted to Laswell that she was more then fit to take on the task, she didn’t want to focus on the blistering gaze that folded over her from across the other side of the table, she could feel it, strong and burrowing as it dug into her flesh. When the team filed out of the room to head for dinner in the canteen, Ghost had stayed behind the group, still eyeing up Scout as she fell into step with Soap, lapping up his conversation like she always did. He watched her, half her face hidden from his view, the slight stretch of her smile he could see, teeth and all, cheeks swelled with the effort of it as her eyes crinkled when Soap told a shit joke.
“What gets wetter the more it dries?” He’d asked her pointedly, elbow in her ribs with that shit smirk plastered across his face.
“I don’t know, Johnny” she’d raised a brow, leant in close to hear his reply, Soap smiled.
“A towel” his smile was audible.
Ghost had watched from a few steps back as Scout swatted at the Scotsman, told him he was a stupid git and that she would be getting him a joke book for his birthday because his were all shit.
That feeling was back in Ghost’s chest again, squirming like a can of worms, reminding him that there was in fact bones and organs beneath the hard shell of skin on the outside. Shelled like a walnut, tough and impossible to crack in a naked palm, but not hard enough to withhold its shape when pressed in a vice - forced to break and open up to reveal what’s inside.
He wanted nothing more then to maintain his distance from her, to keep her at bay and keep himself from tainting her with the sharp edges and jagged lines of him. He’d cut her if he wasn’t careful. Perfect skin bleeding crimson, scarred under his hands, bruised between his teeth, marked for everyone to see.
Ghost just couldn’t bring himself to say no to her, he tried to blame Scout, tried to convince himself that he was indulging her wishes beyond his better judgment; but that wasn’t the case. He was a cruel and selfish bastard, he wanted her to the point it was a throbbing ache deep in the marrow of his bones, and unlike before, it wasn’t just a sexual craving anymore. He craved her smile; how he’d kiss the lines that appeared on her cheeks when she did, lips as gentle as he was able. He craved her scent, that softness; rounded and sweet and so- her. Something gentle, not strong or sickly; powdery like fresh bedsheets, something soft and floral and so fucking addicting that he could never get enough of it. So much so he didn’t like washing his sheets, hated that when he did he would lay his head on his pillow at night and not catch the drifting whiff of her in his nose; sea foam and nectarines, honey and lavender. Something so unenforceable and yet; it could knock him to his knees, he didn’t know if it was her shampoo or perfume, he never asked, he just knew that he never wanted her to change it.
That was the shit that scared him, how he craved every tiny inch of her, how he wanted to pull her laugh from her chest and bottle it as if it were something rare and unseen- to Ghost, it was. He didn’t like that this is what she did to him, and from what he could deduce, she was totally and utterly oblivious to it all.
After Scout’s accident in Mexico, Ghost had lost count of how many nights he found himself reaching out for her as he tried to sleep, seeking her out in the night, wanting to call her no matter what the hour, just to hear her voice in his ear again. Another craving.
She had remained grounded at base while he was quickly sent out on his next mission. Before, Ghost would have welcomed the breathing space from her, some time for him to gather his thoughts before he would next see her again. Now though, he found himself itching to touch back down at base, counting down the minutes till he was back in the same vicinity as her, it wasn’t like him at all.
No longer was his ache for her just carnal and lust-filled, it was something that genuinely scared him, an unfamiliar feeling creeping up on him till it made him nauseous. Ghost had seen countless heinous things in his time, he’d committed them too; so why the fuck was this little soldier plaguing him so? Why the fuck was he laying awake wondering where she was or if she was okay? It was unfamiliar territory for him, and he didn’t like it one little bit.
He must have spaced out, because he didn’t even notice that she was now at his side, eyes focussed forward with a neutral expression as she struggled to match his strides. Ghost slowed for her immediately, dark eyes falling to her lip as she rolled it between her teeth, nervous. He raised a brow, expression hidden beneath his mask, as usual. Before he could speak, Scout did it for him.
“You think I shouldn’t go” it wasn’t a question, because she believed she was right.
No, that wasn’t what he thought; Ghost knew she could hold her own, he’d seen it with his own eyes, a force to be reckoned with, cataclysmic and calamitous.
He’d watched her rip a man’s throat out with a grappling hook, cornered like a feral dog with no other choice but to use what she had, she had regrouped with the team with so much blood on her that it was hard for them to tell where hers began and the enemies ended. Clumped into her lashes and sprayed across her cheeks, drying and flaking from the dry humid air but with no option to wash up. There were too many times to recall in which Scout had turned, like a switch in her head; snapped necks and gauged eyes, bullets lodged through skulls and countless enemies drowned in shallow buckets even after giving up the information she came for.
There was no way Ghost could perceive her as soft or fragile, convince himself that she needed protecting or shielding from the throws of war, she was very much in-tune with it all. She was a force of nature, beautiful yet all so fucking devastating, an unstoppable potency of might behind those strong eyes. A fold of determination knitted into her brow almost every time he looked at her when out in the field, she was strong willed with a compulsion to fight, engrained into the fibres of her bones, it was in her fucking DNA.
Ghost blinked down at her and she finally cocked her head to meet his gaze, he could see it, she was going to go on that mission regardless of what he had to say, but part of her was reluctant.
Reluctant in the sense that she knew her sense of judgment would, more often then not, come before his. Yes, he was her lieutenant and yes she would follow orders, but when things boiled down; Scout wouldn’t take things laying down, if it was her life on the line for the sake of her team or a larger narrative, then her funeral was already planned.
The lieutenant looked ahead, the others too distracted as they made their way to the stairwell that led downstairs to the food hall, he darted his eyes from her to them a few times before he finally pounced. His fingers tightened around the fabric sitting on Scout’s shoulders, throwing his eyes back over his shoulder as he pushed her into a doorway that sat at the top of the stairwell, around a corner and well hidden.
She gasped but Ghost was quick to press a gloved hand over her mouth, snuffing out the noise, he jutted his chin- watching over the solid wall of the banister separating them from the stairs below, the boys were long gone. When he turned his gaze back to her it made his stomach lurch with that familiar licking heat at the base of his spine, coiling to the forefront; she was wide eyed, neck craned back to look at him better, he could so easily shove her to her knees right here. Fuck her throat till she sobbed and spluttered nonsense around his cock, what he would fucking give.
Ghost removed his hand from her mouth, her pretty lips agape as she breathed in deep, eyes suddenly all glossy and wide for him. He couldn’t help but find her pretty like this, secretly tucked away with him, preempting his movement as her head swam. She probably thought he’d press her against the wall, hook her leg over his hip and fuck her silly till he convinced her not to take the mission; but as much as the thought tempted him, he couldn’t do that.
He raised his hand instead, a soft gesture as he pressed his gloved palm to her cheek, running his thumb over the small stretched scar that now sat there. A marred line of silvery-pink splitting her cheek - contrasting to the smooth of her skin, a reminder that back in Mexico, Ghost hadn’t quite been quick enough.
She practically purred at his touch, pressing into him, her own hand coming to lay over his.
“I don’t care if you go” he finally said, words gruff in that deep throaty tone of his. She frowned, barely enough for him to catch but still enough for him to notice, his eyes flashed.
“I just need you to come back” he cocked his head at her, pressing his gaze into her as if he would be able to see the cogs turn and gears whirr. Scout closed her mouth, mulling over his words, digesting the real meaning behind them -
I just need you to come back to me
She had nodded gently, eyes softening as she began to understand. Ghost didn’t flinch away when she moved her hand from his and pressed it against the hem of his mask, tugging it up from where it was tucked into his collar, shoving it up till it sat against the bridge of his nose; after that he hadn’t needed guiding, hadn’t needed Scout to initiate anymore. He’d kissed her till her knees wobbled, clinging to his shoulder as his tongue curled over her teeth, unable to keep himself from falling into her.
Scout had to shove him away with considerable force and remind him that they’d miss lunch if he wasn’t careful.
“I can have something else for lunch” he’d growled lowly in her ear, cupping her pussy through her jeans as she stifled her moan in the collar of his jacket, fisting it tight in her hands.
That was three weeks ago, now. In the time since then herself and Gaz had been sent on their reconnaissance assignment and returned. Soap and Ghost had been sent on a hostage evacuation in Russia; somewhere close to Moscow.
A politician, of course, had gotten caught up in the wrong kind of people, it was always the same thing time after time. All about the money and the power, blackmailing and illegal trading, the team had seen it more times than they cared to count. Yet, they still shipped out, because they’re still pressed under the thumbs of the government at the end of the day.
As Scout continued to try and settle the adrenaline buzzing away under her skin; walking her third lap of the training yard, a familiar whistle whipped and echoed around the emptiness of the air, catching her attention. She turned toward the sound, eyes narrowing as they fell on a tall figure, mohawk too hideous to miss. She smiled and moved to jog toward him, breath fanning back across her face as she neared closer to him.
Soap must have only just gotten back, his thick weathered jacket was zipped to his chin and his neck gaiter was sitting snug around his throat and pulled to his lips. He looked tired and content, undoubtedly a mission success, his hands were folded lazily in his pockets as he watched Scout come closer.
The man held out his palm to her, Scout clapping her own against it and gripping it, pulling him toward her and pressing her other palm against his shoulder, tucking herself into his side for a hug as the scent of him drifted into her nose. He smelled of gunpowder and old coins, something else spicy yet sturdy mingling on the soft skin of this throat.
“Long time no see, sarg” she’d smiled, stepping back out of his space, folding her arms over her chest as she did. He cocked his head toward her.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it, lass” a soft smile slanted across his mouth, eyes rolling over her features as he looked at her.
There was no way she could help it, but Scout let her eyes quickly dart to the space behind the sergeant, hoping his hulking British counterpart wasn’t far behind. She refocused her attention quickly, grateful that Soap was looking around the training yard, noting she was out here all by herself.
The smaller soldier palmed the back of her neck, rolling it out. “When did you get back in?”
Soap met her eye, “just” he said, “Ghost’s debriefing Laswell as we speak” he sounded tired, his accent thicker and trickier to decipher than it usually was. It wasn’t surprising, it’s hard to get used to the ever changing pace the military forces down their throats, even if they do get time to shut their eyes, it’s never peaceful. In a foreign country, miles from home soil, the prospect of a blood filled brawl looming over their head - it’s not exactly a recipe for peaceful slumber.
Soap’s eyes drifted back out into the training yard, the fog was lifting, a veil of it attempting to cloud the sunrise as it bloomed over the horizon. Orange and blue.
Scout stood beside him, close enough to feel the heat of him against the sweat cooling on her skin, she followed his gaze as he broke the silence. “D’ya remember when we first met you?” He tipped his chin slightly as he asked, eyes falling to Scout’s to gage her reaction, as if he wanted to watch her replay the memory in her head.
She smiled, “how could I forget?”
Going back years, now, back when Scout wasn’t Scout. When she was just a soldier; a number pulled from a hat, one standing in the line of many. That was before she was handpicked for her remarkable skill and technical ability, known only by her last name and her title; sergeant. A holder of drill records and the subject of many conversations between soldiers. The one with the big mouth and wavering temper, the one who spoke her truth and her mind, and had the skills to back up her words too.
Price had found her, or rather, she had been found for him. Put forward and recommended time after time, with each new mission or special task force assembled, her name was shoved into the hands of captains and generals alike. Her temper and sharp tongue got in the way a lot of the time, because for each time she was written up for standing up for herself or holding her ground, it only had another opportunity scratched for her.
Until Price was made aware of her, until a file attachment found its way to his emails with video link after video link of this sergeant in action during training. She was quick and nimble; a near perfect shot as a sniper and a dab hand at demolition, even her hand to hand was remarkable, against opponents much bigger and stronger than her. Her statistics spoke for themselves, it was all there in black and white, she was undoubtedly an asset.
Captain Price snapped her up at the first chance he got. He read over her records, he wasn’t put off by the write ups, didn’t even make him question her for a second. It made him think about how well she might fit into his varied team, simply another personality to add to the handful of others he already had clashing in the group, there was nothing more that could surprise him. Especially not after Soap, that time he’d punched a military police officer, there was little more that could stop Price from accepting someone into his force.
The transfer had been a quick turn around. With her gear packed she was shipped off on her way, a truck carrying her to her new base, her new home away from home.
As the tires rolled across the tarmac and crunched to a stop, the sergeant had stolen a gaze out of her window, met with what looked to be her entire team. Four men and a woman, she recognised the woman as Kate Laswell, and one of the men as her new Captain - having met him before the transfer. The rest of the men she had yet to meet, for obvious reasons, and she half thought she would get time to retrieve her bag before she was forced to face her new team. Obviously not.
She jumped out of the vehicle, gear weighing her down as her boots collided with the concrete. It was dead silent and she had the subconscious urge to fill it, if this is what this team was like, she had a feeling her personality wouldn’t fit in well here. She stepped forward, flipping her cap around so it’s visor faced backwards, better for her to make eye contact with the tall men standing sturdy in front of her. The sergeant left her bag in the truck, immediately stepping forward toward her new team, and that’s when she caught it.
“Who let the Boy Scouts start signin’ up?”
The voice was low and stoney, it made her bristle, clenching her teeth as her eyes darted toward the source of the snide comment. She was met with a mask. A balaclava stitched with a skull around the lower jaw, dark eyes glaring pointedly at her like she’d done something to purposefully offend the man. She took the bait. “Same ones who let pricks like you rank up” she’d said it before she registered it, too used to her own base, throwing insults back at soldiers who made quips and remarks day in-day out. For a split second, she’d forgotten where she was, the muscle memory of the verbal self defence too engrained for her to stop it.
Two of the men whistled, she later learned they were Gaz and Soap, the latter patting the masked man on the shoulder as he recoiled from her remark. “That Boy Scout is a fuckin lass, L.t” the Scotsmen roared a laugh, and for a second she thought it was directed at her, but it was in fact directed at the man in the mask. She quickly realised, not only had she insulted a member of her team, he was her new Lieutenant. She froze in her step, eyes still locked with the mask and she saw something flash within his irises, it was a quick fleeting realisation for him. He had thought she was a man, a small one, with the cap and the gear he’d failed to register from a distance that she was a woman.
Only when she came closer into his clear view and spoke did he realise she was female, the softness in her cheeks and the lines of her body screamed anything but Boy Scout.
From that day forward she had been dubbed; Scout. An endearing inside joke between the team that would stay with her until she resigned from duty or died out on the field. A nickname she grew to love, because of the man who had ultimately given it to her, forever reminding both of them of their first ever interaction, even if it wasn’t the way they wished it had gone.
On her first mission shipping out with 141, Scout had been going through her pack, rearranging and swapping things out to put things in, going over it all over and over again until it gave her a headache. She emptied a front pocket, undoing the zip to find a scrunch of folded paper stuffed inside of it. She tentatively pulled it out, curious, finding a swirl of bold writing scratched into it. A simple sorry with a tiny drawing of a skull etched into the paper next to it.
She would never tell him, but Scout still had that piece of paper saved- carried in the front pocket of her vest wherever she went.
Soap and Scout stood there in the cold, stupid slanting smiles as they reminisced on their past, light memories of better times. When none of them were injured and they worked on base together for weeks at a time to strengthen their bond as a team, now it felt as if they were passing ships.
The relationship between Scout and the Scotsman was rooted in the same boar-headedness and alike ideals. They were so similar it caused them to butt heads a lot of the time, always trying to one up each other in the sense that they both lacked self preservation, always willing to throw their life in the mix when things got tricky.
Ghost didn’t like it; he had to do enough babysitting with just Soap alone, keeping a rein on his outlandish ideas and suicide plans - then Scout had come along and shoved her stick into the pot.
Despite their similarities when it came to work ethics, they were vastly different in personality. While the Scot was loudmouthed, extroverted and downright unabashed with the attention his presence warranted; Scout was much more reserved, adding her ten pence where it mattered, but watching from the sidelines - not at all wanting the attention to drift to her.
Yet, it always did, inevitably, a lass like her- in a job like this. It drew attention, all of it Ghost hated; drunkards in pubs that would slink up to her at the bar and beg to buy her a drink, the rookies on base were the worst of it all, a constant dick measuring contest between them, desperate to see who could get her to bite first.
Much to Ghost’s pleasure, Scout did always bite, just not they way they were intending.
The day Scout got pulled in by the higher ups for breaking a kids wrist had, undoubtedly, been one of the best days of Ghost’s life.
He’d watched it all unfold, not bothering to intervene as he continued to finish his reps on the chest pull, eyes watching intently as the rookie sidled up to her from across the gym with his chest puffed out, daring to let his hand slide over the small of Scout’s back as she leant down to tie her shoelace. It was like a whip cracking, so quick you’d miss it if you blinked, her concise movement and perfect angle had snapped the poor bastards wrist in two, the shrieking wail of pain he let out having everyone in the gym bristling and swivelling their heads.
Scout hadn’t said a single word to him, barely broken a sweat, not even a slight change to her expression.
She’d stood her ground when they threatened to discharge her; told them that she had every right to do what she did, that it was an engrained reflex, a tick from the army, a reaction to any kind of foreign touch that she wasn’t expecting. Ghost knew she’d blagged it, played it smart, fed them what they didn’t want to hear. She was safe on base, for the most part - especially with Ghost there, and Scout didn’t have as many years under her belt as Ghost did. So when she told them that it was purely a chemical reaction in her brain after the years of fighting and looking over her shoulder, they had no option but to send her on her way with merely a slap on the wrist.
Safe to say she was given a wide birth around base after that.
That’s when Ghost had realised; Scout was so much like him, and maybe that’s why they understood each other so well. Both basking in the shadows, watching from afar yet still engaging in conversation when it was needed, a preference to remain settled in the background. Ghost’s was an aversion to the socialising, he was calculated in his thoughts, eyes always watching the exits and doorways, knife sheathed in his waistband at all times. It wasn’t paranoia, he was just well versed enough to know that this line of work would catch up to him somewhere one day, he just didn’t know when and where.
Whereas Scout was simply quieter in her nature, she’d aged in her years of service; despite the stories Price and other soldiers had to tell of a young spitfire with no filter and a habit of getting into bar fights, Ghost struggled to imagine that of her. Even when they went to the pub on a rare occasion, she’d barely finish the one rum and coke she would order, sipping at it gingerly as she watched Soap chat up a bird across the bar. The Scot had called her boring once, a night of respite in Galway, drunk words spitting at her to pull the stick out of her arse every once in a while; she’d sat quiet, eyeing Soap as she took another sip, unbothered about engaging with him.
Ghost had his suspicions, expected she wasn’t one to hold her alcohol well, she’d either spin someone’s jaw or spill her feelings for all to see - but it was abundantly clear; she didn’t want to do either of those things in front of these boys. Maybe if she was just another soldier, a troop in a squadron, pulled out of line by her number; but she wasn’t. She was special forces, she had earned her place here amongst them, and she wasn’t about to put it in jeopardy over embarrassment or image issues.
It was another hour before Ghost was done with his debrief to Laswell.
Scout wouldn’t admit it, but she milled around, walking through the corridors, eyeing the ceiling or watching as her boots scuffed the floor. She managed a shower between making her rounds of the base, had little more to do than wait for him, it was like this every time, some way or another, he would find her.
It was only when she bumped into Price that she noticed something off- because he was on the phone to Laswell.
The captain mouthed a greeting but continued on his way, speaking into his phone with a hushed voice. That in itself wasn’t abnormal, Price was always wrapped up with other duties; a constant stack of files atop his desk that he loathed having to sort through, more often then not he had to get someone to physically lock him into his office so it would get done.
What was strange on the other hand- was Ghost’s absence. Sometimes, when he’d had a rough go at it on a mission he would return sour. Cut himself off and shut himself away to gather himself, lick his metaphorical wounds in secret like a battered dog. Scout understood it, any soldier did, it’s hard to speak openly about what they see when they’re out there, it’s even hardener to try and get it off their chest - because anyone in the closest proximity has seen the same, if not worse. It’s not the nicest feeling to dump shit on someone that already has a growing closet of their own skeletons.
Ghost wasn’t privy to Scout’s skeletons, much like she wasn’t his. They weren’t there yet, maybe they never would be, but regardless; they still understood. One of the few unspoken things between them, it seemed like they just knew what was and wasn’t needed. She didn’t pry into his past, him the same regarding her, because they both knew that they weren’t ready to play therapist. It was enough to deal with what was coming and going, dealing with the present - the now.
They’d deal with the rest when they were dead.
When Scout’s thoughts started to trail away from her, the ping of her phone drew her attention. It was embarrassing how quick she wrenched it from her pocket, eyes dancing over the notification with a new found excitement.
Come to bed
Read: 10:17am
Short. Concise. To the point. A point Scout had no room in her chest to argue with.
If someone asked her what Ghost was to her, she wasn’t sure what she would say. This, arrangement between them, it had clearly gone past the point of a physical use of one another to strip away the tension and angst of war. No longer was it just simply fucking, of course the sex had started as the deeper rooted catalyst, but the sex was - dare she say, tender.
Before, it hurt, because it needed to hurt; Scout had wanted it to hurt. She hurt him as much as he hurt her, blood under her nails and on her tongue, teeth stained with him. That’s what it had all been about, drawing that pain from within one another, using it as a crutch instead of drowning themselves with tumbler after tumbler of whiskey or numbing it all with prescription opioids.
When the two of them had first crossed the line; it had been a spur of the moment drunken fumbling. Back then, Scout had told herself that wether it was Soap, Gaz or Ghost who put the offer out there, she wouldn’t have minded. Because she needed to relieve that coiling burn in her chest and abdomen, it felt like she would go insane if she didn’t.
Now, she slipped into his room carefully, latch clicking back into place as she shut it quietly. It was dark, the only light being that of the steadily waking sky, flittering through the cracks above and below the shoddy curtains that didn’t quite reach across the entire window. It wasn’t dark enough that she couldn’t seek him out, he blended with the shadows, but Scout was sure she could seek him out even if she was blind and deaf with her hands cut off. She could make out the outline of him, framed in a wave of heat that rolled from him, steady even breathing fanning freely from his nose.
His mask was off.
He didn’t move, didn’t so much as flinch as his dark eyes watched her, like a predator waiting to pounce, a crocodile watching as a sweet deer drinks from the watering hole. Soon between its teeth, weak noises bleeding out with its last ragged breath.
Scout stopped at the foot of his bed, tugging off her shoes before she dug her knees into his mattress, making her way closer.
He shifted “take it all off” his voice rasped, low and full of sleep. Gravel and ice. It sent heat licking down her spine, a shiver running straight down to her toes. Of course, she obliged, she stepped off the bed again and did as asked, dutiful soldier she was - anything for her Lieutenant.
Again, she couldn’t see him, not entirely, but she could feel his gaze. How he practically stripped her with his own eyes, boring through her skin and deep into the marrow of her bones. It made her slick between her thighs, just the thought of him had her pressing her knees together. She ached for him, felt the pull in her muscles every time he fucked her like it would be the last time, because one day - it just might just be.
Scout joined him again, she heard him shift, sitting straighter against the wall at the head of his bunk. Now she was close, her thigh pressing into his as he pulled her closer by the wrist, she felt the coarse hair on his leg against her flesh. He was already stripped bare himself, save for his boxers, freshly showered and warm- he was entirely and utterly open.
His fingers didn’t release from around her wrist, he tugged till she was awkwardly strewn across his lap, his other hand shifting to hold the base of her neck, bringing the top of her head to his lips.
“Fuckin’ missed you” all smoke and gunpowder in her ears, so low it was almost a whisper. He took a long drag into his nostrils, already on his way to being high off her scent, shampoo from her hair fresh and sweet to his senses. Scout pressed her palms against his chest, the heat almost burning, feverish under her fingertips.
“I missed you too” she let the words drift to him, even if the light was too dim, she still couldn’t bring herself to match his gaze. Maybe he had said it first, but that could easily be put down to the jet lag, delirious from the lack of sleep and the draining aftermath once the adrenaline of a mission washes away.
Ghost grumbled something low, pure sex as it rose from the depths of his chest. His palm slid from the back of her head to her neck, then to her throat, light pressure as he pulled her mouth flush to his. Scout keened, palm holding his jaw as his tongue slid over hers, claiming her mouth. The dance was well rehearsed, each move in tandem, like running through a check list. His hands roamed, tugging her as close as she could possibly be- any closer and she’d melt into him.
The only barrier between their sexes were their underwear, sliding friction of her clothed pussy against the strain in his boxers. Ghost growled in his throat as Scout moved to straddle him, knees splitting painfully wide over his hips, ass seated on the meat of his glorious thighs. Their mouths never parted, cresting teeth biting into her lip as she gasped, calloused palms kneading the flesh of her thighs and ass till she mewled. She was so wet already, soaked to her core, slick and hot and ready for him to ruin her again and again.
“Fuck” she whispered against his mouth, biting smile curling his mouth afterwards as he rubbed his stubbled jaw into the soft crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin. Scout was more intoxicating than any whiskey or bourbon Ghost was yet to encounter, more addicting in the same sense, a sturdy punch to the gut.
Ghost leaned forward, uncoiling his arm from behind her back, pressing his fingers into the sopping fabric covering the cleft of her pussy, teasing. She cowered, practically shivering under his touch, so keen for him that it made her shake. His other hand gripped her chin, pinched between his thumb and forefinger, Scout focused her eyes- noticing she could just about catch the fleeting light in those amber-hickory eyes.
It sent another shiver down her spine, liquid want pooling in her belly, drawing her even closer into him. She pressed forward, kissing him again, raking her tongue over his teeth with any ounce of dominance she could muster; Ghost grinned against her mouth, how bold of her, he would let her take as much as she was willing.
He revelled in the way she reacted to him. In every sense, her body; the way he could merely look at her from across a room and she’d cross her legs, he didn’t miss the little gestures. He didn’t even have to touch her to get under her skin, just his gaze and presence alone could draw things from her.
He wished he could watch it back, still letting her kiss him with a feverish clash of teeth and small-calloused hands gripping the skin of his tummy, her nails raking deep into his skin as he took her off guard. All of the air from her lungs was punched out when Ghost curled two thick digits into her cunt, crooking against her gummy walls, so slick for him already. She screwed her eyes shut, head thrown back as she squirmed, grinding down against the friction of his hand. He hummed, feeling how she dripped onto his wrist, the smell of her arousal already tacky in the air, lust and sex stifling the air in his room.
“So fuckin’ tight darlin’” he rasped, lips sucking a bruise between her tits as he leant forward, angling his wrist to reach even deeper, drawing all the best sounds from her pretty throat.
“Shit- Simon” she whined, lip between her teeth as she arched backwards, palms pressing against his shins as she worked herself on his fingers, pressing her tits into his face as he sucked and lapped at the tender skin there.
She never tired of it. Couldn’t, even if she tried, she would never meet another man or woman that would make her feel the way Ghost was able. It was as if he knew her body, knew what made her tick, almost like he could feel it - somatic.
Scout near enough shrieked when he pressed the pad of his thumb against her clit, a new found urge to make her cum driving its way deep in his chest. He added another finger, screwing into her, splitting her open so she could easily take his cock. She savoured it, amusing him when she bucked her hips, rolling them against the strokes of his hands, meeting him halfway.
“Look at you, gorgeous, so desperate to be filled” she could taste his smirk when he claimed her lips in another filthy kiss, smothering her down, any noise from her dissipating when he curled his fingers in that way he knew she liked, she craved it. Scout couldn’t help it, couldn’t even think about keeping quiet, she was panting against his skin, fogging him up.
“Fuck- I’m-“ she swallowed, throat dry, “I’m gonna cum like this” she tells him but he already knows, gladly acknowledges the fluttering of her walls around the notches of his knuckles.
“Go on then” he presses, teasing her clit again, rocking the heel of his palm against her in rhythm, watching as she throws her head back just as her world shatters.
She’s always so pretty when she cums he thinks, he’d give an arm or a leg to watch the sight over and over again whenever he wished, no missions or obligations to keep her from him. It’s selfish, but he can’t seem to give a shit, not when he’s got her here like this, curled into him, fucking herself on his hand, all to get her ready to split open on his cock.
Before it’s fully settled, her orgasm fizzing out, she’s grabbing at him, shoving his boxers down his thighs with an awkward tug that makes him smirk, lifting his hips as she manhandles him to make it easy for her. Ghost almost bites through his bottom lip when he watches her, pretty pink tongue running from the heel of her palm to the tip of her fingers, wetting it to get him slick, pressing her hand to his cock and curling her fingers around him - it makes him choke. He rumbles in his chest, it’s been so long since he’s had her, too long since he’s had her smell under his nose and his skin under his fingers, it sets a coil of resentment settling in his chest. Fuck whatever power in the universe that keeps pulling them in opposite directions, Ghost is a smart man, but his patience and loyalty to his work be damned; right now, he’d give it all up for her.
His hands settle at her hips when she shifts, angles herself up, resting higher on her knees so she can press the head of his cock between the slicked folds of her pussy, get him soaked in her juices so the sting doesn’t bite too hard. Because it will, it’s been weeks, longer than he’s been away because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her when she was injured - no matter how hard she tried to convince him that she’d be fine.
Ghost’s fingers sink right to the bones in her hips when she begins to press herself down onto him, inch by torturous fucking inch she goes, rocks her hips so the head catches something fleshy inside, makes his eyes roll like marbles in his skull.
“Christ” she bites out, jaw clenched, features of that pretty face twisted in pain. Such a brave girl he thinks - knows, always trying to put on a front, even as she fucks herself on his cock. He reaches a big paw up, slides it over her cheek and holds her still, those teary eyes looking at him like he holds the world in his hand - right now, he does.
“Breathe, love” he whispers, tenderly, as best he can.
She nods at him, matches the way he takes a deep breath in and out, helps her flatten her pelvis to his, sunken to the hilt, stuffed to the brim with his cock and his adoration. It’s a sickly feeling, how soft he can be, how he reserves it all for her, stuffs her full of it till it all spills over: drowning her in it.
Scout rolls her hips forward, catching friction on the thatch of hair at his groin, pressing her chest to his so their flesh slicks up together, her nipples catching over his chest, too close for comfort and yet still not close enough.
“You’re so good” he lets free, jaw slack as he mouths over her jaw, chaste open-mouth kisses littered over any patch of skin he can reach. His words make her chest swell, fuzzy and static, too much warmth from him that makes her clench around his cock. Scout slurs a curse under her breath.
“Never get used to this” she breathes, whispers it into his throat when he presses up and forward, fucking up into her so her tits sway against him and she’s forced to brace her hands onto his biceps.
“Me neither, darlin’” he sucks a bruise into her throat, feeling how it makes her pussy walls tighten, fluttering around him, coaxing his release out of him like she’s moulded for him.
Neither of them last, she’s already ahead of him, but it doesn’t take much for Ghost to see the light, bathed in the starchy blissful heat that sears every nerve ending in his body, wringing him out for everything he’s worth. He can’t help himself, he presses the pad of his thumb to her sore clit even as she’s cumming, pumping her cunt full of his cum, brimming at the seams till it leaks back out and smothers between where their hips press tightly together. She pulls out everything he has to offer, seizing it all and not letting anything be left behind, only then does she sag into him. Pressed into each other as lays atop him, face tilted up so her jaw sits in the space between his neck and his jaw, only inches between their faces.
He never used to; but he’s become accustomed to the afterglow, it’s no longer a looming and harrowing afterthought that dowses him in ice-cold reality. He basks in it now, heaving breaths that intwine with hers, nothing but the scent of sex and her skin under his nose. Pressed close.
She closes her eyes, takes it in, enjoys this time like it’s a saints gift, a holy touch. It’s rare these days, that she gets him like this, it’s not just the quick fucking between intervals, her trousers around her knees as he fucks her quick and messy somewhere secluded, tidying her up afterward and sending her on her way with a deadly smack to the arse. This is different, the part she’s growing to like too much, unknowing that he too thinks the world of this time. He finds he wants time to stop entirely, not just for the sex, but just for holding her close like this, feeling the thrum of her heartbeat as it knocks into his. Both alive and well.
Ghost slides his hand up from where it’s laid over the small of her back, that curve of her spine he likes to rake his teeth over, his hand settles on her cheek again, makes her open those pretty eyes of hers to look at him. He doesn’t say anything, the touch speaks volumes, so much so that she meets him in the middle, pushes her self up enough that she can seal her lips over his. It’s tender, sickly and sweet in a way he reserves only for these times; the two of them fucking in the safety of his bed or hers behind a locked door. Not because he’s shameful or embarrassed of her, not at all, but because he takes off the mask for her - strips Ghost away entirely so that it’s only Simon that remains.
He’s sure she knows by now, she’s not that dense, but she doesn’t make a big deal of it, she keeps it to herself like the special thing it is. Another line is stepped over, anymore and there will be no going back, but it seems neither of them want to.
Both too reliant on one another to keep each other alive and kicking.
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#lichwrites#call of duty fanfic#cod fanfic#cod mw ghost#cod mw2#cod modern warfare#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley fanfic#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#call of duty ghost#ghost x reader#ghost#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost x oc#ghost x female reader#ghost x f!reader#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x you#simon ghost smut#simon ghost fluff#ghost x afab reader#ghost x you
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Satoru x gn!reader ୨୧ WARNING: Angst. Inspired by Let The Light In because yes. I recommend listening to the song while reading.
You remember very well the first time you crossed eyes with Satoru. That confident smile, the light, loud laugh, the signature black blindfold, and above all, those blue eyes. They reminded you of the ocean, the morning sky, the calm beach days. He was the perfect man. More than perfect. He was your crush at Jujutsu Tech.
Crush?
That word makes you smile to yourself, because the memories of when you were an immature teenager, full of ideas about love, now seem so far away. Like when you used to fall for any TV heartthrob, feeling butterflies in your stomach, not knowing if it was a fleeting crush or something deeper. Shoko would always tell you that you liked every guy in the world, as if it were natural, but that only happened because you hadn’t found someone like him until that moment.
The memories keep playing like scenes from a movie, until finally, that day arrives—the day you spoke for the first time. That dumb mission that left you with a swollen, bruised eye, barely able to walk for days. And he had to save you, like always, with that calm gaze, as if it was easy for him—and it was. Your pride was bruised for needing his help. But, as always, he didn’t seem to care. He was Satoru Gojo, after all. And you, afraid of being seen as weak, found yourself sinking even deeper into a desire you couldn’t even explain at that moment. You weren’t just in love with what he was anymore, but with what he did to your heart, even without realizing it.
Deep down, you always knew he would never be the guy you could have. Never the kind of person you could hold without fear, without wondering what he really felt. Always so distant, so out of reach. Still, year after year, you stayed there, following him, like a spectator lost in a never-ending story. Until he became something more. A refuge, an obsession, an impossible dream.
Until he became your everything.
But now, when you see him there, cut in half, his insides spilling out, and the immense pain still lingering in the air, you realize everything was an illusion. Nothing was real. What was left of Satoru Gojo was just a piece of the man you once knew.
The fight against Sukuna had been brutal. They exchanged blows so strong it felt like the whole world was shaking with each impact. But what couldn’t be ignored was what was in Satoru’s eyes: exhaustion, pain, and the certainty of an ending. He knew he couldn’t escape. He knew it was over. And worst of all, you knew too.
— Satoru... — your voice falters as you kneel beside him. The words slip out, as if hearing his name was the only thing that could make a sound, but he can’t hear it anymore. Satoru Gojo’s final battle was against his own fate, and he lost.
You watch his gaze, still vivid, even with his body torn apart.
— I know — he whispers, his voice faint. — I know, I’m sorry, [your name].
His breathing is irregular, blood seeping from the wounds in his body. Yet he smiles. He’s still Satoru, the guy who never showed fear, the guy who never let anyone see what was happening inside.
— I... — He pauses for a moment, as if the pain is too much to continue, but then he gathers strength. — I know it’s not the right time... but you need to know... I had dreams too.
Those words hit you like a punch. Dreams? The strongest man, the unbeatable one, also had dreams?
You hold his hand, his cold, trembling fingers in yours. He smiles back, but it’s a tired smile, the kind that knows he’s about to leave.
— Yes. I had a dream. A silly dream... of being a normal human. — He continues.
You cling to those words, as if they could keep you grounded. As if by hearing them, you could believe he was still here, still existing. But deep down, you know you’re losing him, and there’s nothing you can do.
His eyelids flutter slowly, heavy as though they weighed a thousand tons. The last look he gives you is filled with something you can’t quite understand, something that perhaps he had kept just for you, something that transcends even death.
— You... will live, right? At least a little longer. — He asks suddenly, changing the subject. His voice falters, but the words come with such a heavy weight, so full of goodbye, that you feel an intense ache in your chest.
Then he smiles again, as if finally surrendering to the peace he had been seeking for so long. But before his eyes close for the last time, he whispers, almost like a secret shared only between you two:
— I love you, you know?
Those words echo in your mind, clearer than anything you’ve ever heard. You can’t respond. Silence takes over, as if the universe had paused just so you could absorb that truth, that farewell. And so, he goes. Without a sound. Without warning. Just silence, and a world that seems to have stopped spinning around you.
You know that his dream of being normal was buried with him. And you, who always got lost in the memories of his blue eyes, now have to find a way to go on without him.
Because in the end, his dreams were more real than you ever imagined. Finally, you understand that the strongest man was just like you—just a human, someone ordinary with his own desires and feelings, someone who longed for something more and couldn’t reach it.
#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#lana del rey#explore#gn reader#Spotify
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devon can’t stop the memories that flood her mind as they stand here together, in a home that was once theirs. can’t help but remember how it felt to come home with him after a long night out, tired and far too drunk, his arms wrapped around her as their laughter bounced off the walls, stumbling to their room to help each other carefully peel their clothes off before sliding comfortably into bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms. or how they would make breakfast together on slow weekend mornings, drinking coffee in bed and spilling half of it on the sheets, or evenings spent listening to him read to her, staying up too late talking about anything and everything. maybe that’s why she couldn’t fathom leaving this place, despite his absence— so much good happened here. there was so much love embedded in these walls, in each creak of the floorboards, in every piece of furniture they picked out together. and now she could almost trick herself into believing they had gone back in time, that this was just another one of those nights, where she could just lead him to their bedroom, kissing all the way there, but it wasn’t. or at least, it shouldn’t be. despite how her lips tingle to kiss him again and again, she knows they’ve already crossed a line. but hearing him echo just how much he missed her, too, blurs it even further in her mind. that always happened with him, didn’t it ? he was the exception to every rule, the only person she would do absolutely anything for, if he asked, no matter the consequences. it’s intoxicating, being this close, kissing him, touching him, feeling the warmth of his body against her own one more time. even if he wasn’t technically hers anymore, god, was she so fucking lucky to have him at all. remains close as she smiles up at him, pressing a soft peck to his cheek, lingering there for a moment. “ feels real to me, too, ” she whispers, so real that it’s almost visceral— her senses were overrun, her brain filled only with thoughts of them and the life they once shared, her heart overwhelmed with love and care. and it’s enough, just being here with him like this, but she can’t ignore that desire for more, even though she’s desperately trying to shove it down, to remind herself that there had to be some sort of boundary, that there were two other people to think about. it’s hard, though, when he’s kissing her, or looking at her like that, or when he reaches down to intertwine their fingers together so easily. fuck. “ me too. i've almost called you so many times, ” it’s followed with a squeeze of his hand, then, as her nose nudges against his own, tempted to close the gap and kiss him again, but she tries to hold onto any shred of self control she has left, just for good measure. even then, she doesn’t pull away. “ do you want to ? talk, i mean, ” she breathes, voice coarse. “ because we can. we should, probably, ” the words are a little shakier, now, as her free hand slides up to rest against his chest, curling against the material of his shirt as she leans in closer, lips skating against his. “ because i… i’m afraid that if i keep kissing you, i won’t be able to stop, and i’ll do something really fucking stupid, that i know i shouldn’t but that i can’t help because it’s you. ” — “ does that make me a terrible person, you think ? ”
even when things were different between them, when things weren’t laced with uncertainty and misunderstanding, miller was never quite able to grasp the inexplainable connection they shared, the power she had over him. and if he couldn’t explain it then, he definitely can’t now, as he finds himself wrapped up in her, kissing her in the familiar way that he does, the outside world fading to a quiet blur, when they’re in each other’s embraces. despite its openness, the display of love itself, it’s an intimate act between them, as if they’re the only two in existence, right now. he doesn’t shy away from it, from her, like he has done with someone else; uncaring as to who witnesses such a grand public display of affection. the world moving around them slowly comes back, as they part, lips buzzing, heart racing, hands shaking. he tucks them away, as he follows her to the front door, as if he could quell that need, desire. not for anything further, but just to… do that again, and again. until they’ve both run out of air and they’re turning blue in the face. god, how has he ever gone so long without something like that? because it’s love, he understands now, that still circulates between them, bringing them together again and again— how could he be so stupid, to try and convince himself that he could survive without it? heart beats a steady pattern in his chest, echoing in the cage of his ribs, as she unlocks the door, taken back in time to when this was their normal routine. when he would stand behind her, distracting as always, lips pressed to her neck or shoulders, his laughter against her skin, fingers against her waist, her hip. despite how much he may want to do that, now, he forces himself to hold back, as if to not overstep, to maintain some resemblance of a boundary, after what they’d just shared outside. that all goes out the window once they’re past the threshold of the door, his arms wrapping around her waist once she’s back against him. “ missed you, ” he echos back. “ so fucking much. ” and it’s one of his most vulnerable confessions of all, thinking back to those nights he’s spent alone, thoughts drifting to her, to wishing that she could be here with him. he transmits that into the kiss they share, here, in the apartment they used to share— the walls whispering memories of laughter, of tears, of late night conversations, early morning goodbyes before they went about their day. it’s dirty coffee mugs in the sink, and books against the wall, paint splattered on the floorboards. it’s the two of them sharing a breath, a life, a home. and it’s still present, in the kiss they share, in the smile chiseled into his features as they part for air, a quiet chuckle departing his lips. “ no, well… i also wanted to see what you’ve done with the place, ” he teases, gaze of endearment, as he looks down at her, lips tingling for more. “ i hope this is real, though. that it isn’t a dream— it feels real to me, ” but then again, she always has. and he can’t accept the alternative; that he was halfway across the country, merely thinking of her, dreaming of her, of this, of the love that still clearly flowed between them, held them together. “ but, i… i don’t have any expectations, coming up here, you know? ” he wants to clarify. “ i mean, we can just talk, if you want, ” somehow, that feels like it exposes a lot, how it’s an absent piece of the puzzle in his life. disguising it with a soft chuckle, he allows his hand to find her own, intertwining their fingers. “ i’ve really missed talking to you. ”
#⁺﹒. * thread ⁄ devon.#erasinglines#this is..... something... i am sooo brain dead... anyway they make me sick !
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A Few things to consider...
If we apply Tim's thinking about Buck's situation to Eddie, then Tim could put Eddie in a couple of relationships before his endgame with Buck. I just can't be normal about that. I'm probably the only one who is crazy like this. For Buck, I kind of understand it, and I'm not referring just to Tommy. Buck was with so many women. He really does know that side of himself very well. Buck is curious too, so I could see him dating a few men and maybe another woman without it lasting as long as his time with Tommy. I can see this type of exploration as brief but defining. It will help him narrow down and see what his 'type' might be in regard to men. (We know his type, and his learning will be part of his realization.) I just don't feel that same vibe for Eddie. He is the nester. Maybe he should have a few boyfriends first, but I'm just not reasonable about this so I'm going to let it go for now. I'll puke on that bridge when we get to it.
Side note semi-unrelated: I love a slow burn, but I don't want to wait another three seasons for Buddie either. Please stop the torture.
Things I loved about this episode. Buck. Always. Eddie. Always. lol Seriously, the whole Risky Business moment was golden. Shaving the stache was excellent. His admission that he wanted the full beard but it wasn't allowed and the Priest calling him out as wearing a mask--all of that is just superb. I loved the Buddie of it all. I loved the way Buck seemed to take in Eddie's appearance and then keep his eyes upward as he handed him the beer and walked past him. I loved the way, Eddie didn't hesitate to open the door half-dressed and just accepted that they were drinking tonight without any explanation as to why. Non-Buddie related: I love that Maddie is already pregnant. We don't have to go through a long process of whether they will get a child and be able to keep it the way we did with Henren. Fingers crossed for no miscarriages.
I'm glad Eddie did what the priest suggested as far as doing something fun, but I'm having a little disconnect with how he went from punishing himself to dancing around with no real progression into what brought him to this point. I need to watch it again. I may pick out more on a rewatch. We had parallels in this episode in a big way, but the well seems like a missed opportunity for Eddie to reflect on what happened when he was trapped in one and the decisions he made when he got out of it. We don't generally get two full-character episodes for the same character, do we? We saw Eddie moving forward, but I'm missing the strong motivator that will inspire him to 'Think."
I also need to think about what happened in the restaurant with the girl hitting on Buck. (was this the restaurant Tommy left him standing at before?) What a horrible choice for an anniversary date if it was. lol
Another question: Wasn't there supposed to be a flashback for Eddie in this episode? I know the Bobby/Buck scene got cut. I sort of hate that. I was looking forward to a Father/son moment for them. I do understand that they are limited with time though, so there we go.
Speculation: Eddie is now trying to embrace fun. Buck and Eddie will end up going to bars together at some point, even if Eddie is not looking for a date. We could see Buck in action picking up guys. We could see guys hitting on Eddie. We could see Buck having a reaction to that. We may also see, Buck going to that Laker's game with Eddie after all.
I see I've missed over 100 new posts. I'm betting someone has answered some of my questions already. lol
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Dear Supporter,
I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔
I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊
Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑
Y'all, I think this the real deal. I just took a look at this person's blog, and it looks like they are who they say they are. But, if you have a reason to suspect otherwise, please let me know. Otherwise, spread the word. Donate too if you want, but it's not a requirement if you aren't in a position to do so. Again, let me know if this isn't the case, I don't want y'all falling for a scam. All in all, I'm pretty confident we have a legitimate cry for help.
#mod talk#just because#crisis aid#fingers crossed this really is real this time#I'm hoping this doesn't backfire on me#again I'm confident that this is real but you never know
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Fugue - 13 - The Weight of Everything
Pairing: mShenko
Rating: M
Tags: Angst, Grief, Major (Canonical) Character Death
Summary: Alchera, and the two-year gap.
Chapter Summary: Kaidan meets an unexpected ally. Some ghosts you can’t outrun. There are few problems an explosion can’t solve.
Thank you to @shadesofmauve for betaing!
Chapter 13: The Weight of Everything | Read on Ao3
12 July 2184, Arcturus Stream, Arcturus, SSV Everest
The look on Farrow’s face is not one that is ever followed by good news. Hackett raises an eyebrow when she comes into his office, clears her throat, and glances at the toes of her boots before inhaling and looking him right in the eye.
Before she can open her mouth, Hackett does a mental inventory on how much scotch is left in the cabinet behind his desk, because he’s fairly certain he’s going to need it.
“Rumoi is missing,” she blurts out, ripping the band-aid off.
Son of a bitch.
His fingers curl, but when he speaks, it’s tight and controlled. Professional, even. “When, where, and how did he go missing, and do we have any leads on where he went missing to?”
“Our tail lost him on Nos Astra about seven hours ago,” she says, in a clipped tone that suggests she is fully aware of how much self-control it’s taking not to break his hand against the battle-tested surface of his desk, and she appreciates getting to skip the trip to medical this time. “There were signs of a struggle, and he never returned to his hotel room. Evidence suggests Eclipse mercs.”
He swears between his teeth. “Do we have any leads?”
She bobs her head. “We don’t believe they kept him on Ilium. Intelligence has narrowed it down to five possible ships that smuggled him out.”
“I want info on all five of those ships and where they’re headed, and Intelligence needs to shorten the list so I’m not wasting my time. In the meantime, get me Captain Arellano of the Ain Jalut and Admiral Anderson, in that order.”
“Yes, sir,” she says with a curt nod. After working together this long, Farrow doesn’t need to be told she’s been dismissed.
Hackett gazes out in stony silence after she leaves, tallying up all the ways that Abraham Rumoi in enemy hands could fuck them. After a moment, he gets up and finds the scotch.
Son of a bitch.
Read from the beginning | Read the rest on Ao3 | The Fugue Playlist
#mass effect#mshenko#kaidan alenko#otp: after all this time#fugue update#real excited about this one#it's stuffed full of easter eggs#REALLY curious which ones get caught#there is very little in this chapter that i made up#the details all exist in canon#i just bent them into a new shape#it was a MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ASS to make this work#but i think i finally got there#CROSSING FINGERS#gonna go hide under the bed for a while now that it's out there
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just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.
#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus#highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol#also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding#plus i was anemic before that also#plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway#as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something#and i'm still sick lolllll#so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot#and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other#anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on#not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on#do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider#i would sooner get a hysterectomy#so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now#if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3
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#its 1 in the morning....and i am awake........to catch 2 buses......to catch a train.......that will arrive BARELY in time to make my flight#......please everyone pray really hard that nothing is late and i dont miss my flight..#every one please no slacking keep your fingers crossed real hard for me rn.......and also for me to STAY AWAKE#personal
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i have applied for a total of 20 jobs within the past week so hopefully i can get something because i desperately need money 🥲🤞🏻
#kayleigh.txt#the job market is. abysmal 😭 💔#i just need a part–time job because full–time is not possible what with all my chronic illnesses 💀#but i can’t do much (if any) manual labor anymore and i don’t really want to work with the public#because i am on two immunosuppressants right now and covid is still very real 🫠#aNYWAYS pls keep your fingers crossed for me y’all ✨
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its weird, sometimes i cant sleep and its like torture, and sometimes its just like. chill. like its been 2 hours since i "went to bed" and im still not asleep yet but im not stressed abt it at all, im just. lying here. good i guess???
#its the insomnia but without the ensuing anxiety#i dont mind it tbh#it could be worse#tho it is kinda sad cause i was actually rly looking forward to sleeping tonight#bc i had incredibly good dreams last night and i was really hoping id continue them tonight#been thinking abt them all day#yknow. sometimes.#sometimes my dreams feel more ''real'' to me than reality#or like. like they are what matters and my time awake is just. a distraction#i realize its prolly not normal/healthy to think like this#but i do#when my dreams are good they are SO good#anyway#fingers crossed i get to go back to last night's dream tonight#this has been an original post#personal spewage#clouds dreams
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#the anxiety is anxietying#remind me never to drink more than one cup of coffee#my heart is deadass racing lol#and i am ✨️thinking ✨️#i impulsively sent my parents a message about a gap year so fingers crossed I'm not disowned when i wake up lol#i just can't do another year of university right now#i have been running on empty for two years now#i need a break or i will lose it#but part of me is like another gap year dog really#i know there's no such thing as actually being behind in life but it feels that way#at this rate I'll only get a full-time job at 26/27#anyways I'm just spiralling don't mind me haha#also i know falling behind isn't real and much of that notion is capitalist propaganda but sometimes i can't help but feel that way
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So exciting, I have a group put together. Also if you’re one of my players, shoo, you don’t need to be reading secrets.
Ok so the line up seems to be a Malkavian, a Tremere, a Ravnos, and one from the Ministry. Oh and we might have the rat that made the Chicago rat hole (name yet to be decided).
I’m a bit worried for them as I do plan to add some monsters and none of the clans here seems specifically combat like. But the Ministry do get protean so they can get some claws, and the Tremere has a gun and corrosive vitea so I think it’ll be fine. One of them wants to do the thing where you have to learn to fight instead of starting out with high strength. But his dice pool for unarmed combat is four so we’ll see.
I’ve got backstories for three PCs, I’m sure I’ll get the last one soon. Very excited though I forgot how much mind space running a game takes up.
#vtm#vampire the masquerade#v5#idk the one time I played we didn’t really have a combat pc#and lost two in our first real fight so#crossing my fingers that it goes well#it should be fine tbf
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