#finding things hard today for reasons and writing these is actually really nice for me so here enjoy <3

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Emily Prentiss x Reader Headcanons

Mostly SFW, but a few lil spicy ones throughout (below the line).

Chews on pens/pencils when she's anxious or deep in thought and it's inexplicably hot.

Has a glass of very nice, very expensive red wine every night.

Fluent in Arabic, French, Spanish, and Italian. Passable in Russian.

Seems quiet and mysterious at first but is actually just a huge dork.

Breaks down crying every time before starting her period and will say, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so emotional today," and you're like... "Babe, don't you start tomorrow?"

Usually a no-strings-attached-sex kind of person, mostly because relationships are hard with her job. You're the exception.

Will fold like a wet napkin for nice chocolate.

Notorious for ghosting lol. Sometimes even used a fake name. A bad habit from her undercover days.

Not subtle at all when coming on to you. Pretty much asked you for a date out of the blue.

Loves that you can talk about the deep, dark stuff, but can also make her laugh like no one else.

If for any reason you wake up in the night–stomachache, nightmare, scary storm–she is up with you. She'll claim she can't sleep either, but really she just wants to hold you and make sure you get back to sleep okay.

Watches you breathe at night. She finds it deeply comforting.

Takes you once a year to her grandfather’s cottage in the French Alps, where she spent a lot of time growing up.

Grew up Catholic. She’s not religious anymore, but sometimes she still likes to listen to old hymns and chants, like they had at the mass she and her mom attended in Italy.

Opens every door for you always. In fact, she’ll be hurt if you don’t let her open the door.

An incredibly good listener. She loves hearing about your day, no matter how mundane it was, because her days are usually filled with the darkest, most horrific things.

Has two tattoos. (1) On her ankle. A word from the Qur’an (لِّتَسۡكُنُوۡۤ) that roughly translates to “that you may find tranquility.” She got it in Italy when she started to realize she liked girls, because girls were the only people in whom she ever found tranquility. (2) On her hip. A small asterisk a la Kurt Vonnegut.

Insanely protective. She will not let anyone touch you, say anything to you, even look at you with nefarious intentions.

Has a little note on her phone where she writes down your favorite things–takeout, flowers, ice cream flavors, the brand of tampons you use–so she'll always remember.

“Call me when you get there.” Has to know where you are at all times. You gave up arguing and just constantly have your phone location shared with her. It’d be suffocating except that, given her job, it makes sense.

Loves that you are so independent. She’s watched too many BAU relationships fall apart because their partner was frustrated with the demanding BAU work schedule. You don’t really mind. Of course, you miss her, but you also really like your alone time, so things balance out nicely.

Puzzle fiend. There’s almost always a puzzle going on the coffee table.

Queen of leaving people on read. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that texts usually fall by the wayside when she’s in the field.

Secretly loves it so much when you brag about her. She’ll act all embarrassed about it, but it means a lot that you’re proud of her.

A hipster in the sense that if something is popular, she automatically decides she doesn’t like it. You make fun of her a lot for this.

Falls in love with you every time she notices one of your little gestures–having a second go-bag packed and ready at all times, doing the laundry, packing little granola bars in her purse because you know she forgets to stop for lunch, returning books to the library for her, etc.

Incredibly stubborn. Thankfully, you are, too, so you’re well-matched. On the downside, sometimes it takes forever to make a decision because neither of you are willing to back down.

Swears like a sailor when she’s not at work.

Kind of quiet with other people, but will talk with you late into the night, until you fall asleep. You love that you get to fall asleep to her voice.

Touches you like you’re made of gold, like you were made to be cherished and held on to.

Cheek/nose/forehead kisses. all. the. time.

Kisses you good morning and good night, every time, no matter when she gets home or when she leaves.

You would never guess it, but she lives for gossip. She doesn’t want to be part of the drama, but she sure as hell wants to know about it.

Drives her wild (in bed and out) that you are 100% hers. It is not in your nature to cheat, you are wholly devoted to your person, and she is over the moon that she’s that person.

Acts like a top, is a top.

Can drink coffee at midnight and be conked out twenty minutes later.

After a particularly hard case, she’ll come home and want to just hold you really tight against her chest, sometimes for an hour or more. You always let her.

Big spoon, always. She likes to feel like she’s keeping you safe.

Favorite food is the sweet potato burrito from Muchas Gracias, but they only have them at lunch and she is never in DC at lunchtime, so sometimes you go buy her one and pack it for her for lunch the next day. It makes her day every time.

Honestly it’s a struggle when you have to get up before her because she has you in a ninja death grip that is almost impossible to get out of.

Her feet are always cold, so she has a huge collection of fuzzy socks.

Movie buff. Has a giant checklist of all the Oscar noms during awards season, and you watch one almost every night she’s home.

Loves to shower with you. You will get clean, but you’ll get fucked first.

A wizard with a wand (iykwim).

She still gets butterflies when you hold hands.

[sabh0]

What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.

For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T

God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.

I will be complaining more under the cut,,

First the overall writing choices:

-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.

-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.

-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.

-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.

-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.

-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.

-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)

I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.

.

Now onto the artstyle of the anime.

Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.

No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).

Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)

.

On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,

[blkgirl-writing]

Helloo! so I know you can romance the companions with any appearance, but I have a hard time imagining them actually choosing to being with a plus size person like myself.

Very indulgent, but do you have any thoughts about them being with a chubby partner? Perhaps a bit of fluff and spice?

Love what you do. writing for the ppl that fanfics often leave forgotten. You're awesome & I hope you have a great day today <3

I’m so happy you asked this, because actually, most of the companions I see loving thicker people and a few fairly exclusively liking bigger women (it’s Wyll) but here’s my headcanons for the baldurs gate 3 companions being interested in a chubby/fat tav!

Aatarion

Astarion is actually the only character I see maybe not loving chubby bodies all that much, but that's really for acended Astarion, since he becomes such a despicable and unapethetic person

But Astarion once he breaks free of cazador?

learns to be accepting and....kind?

He was always drawn to a very conventional type of beauty as he had to be fit into that mold for so so many years, so he kinda felt like he needed people to fit in that mold for him as well

He would start to find beauty in the smaller things in life that he was never able to before

Including bigger chubbier bodies

the comforts of plushness and something extra very much opposes his more thin and sharp body

like he actually likes hugging, he would ASK for a hug

to him hugging you is the embodiment of his freedom and enjoying non sexual things simply, without any motivation

Gale

I think Gale would find comfort in your body

Using as much of you as a pillow, cuddling and being able to be the big and little spoon

Any skimpy outfit would drive him wild, he'd get all flustered and kinda just be more near you?

Since he loves thighs the bigger the better, he won’t complain. He lowkey wants to be crushed by your thighs

Gale would find so much joy in so much ass and thighs in his face, his personal horny heaven

(TW E.D) If you have trouble eating he would cook for you and sit away from camp if it made you more comfortable. He'd take so much joy in making something you wanted to eat (END OF TW)

Gale stars at you a lot

And when you ask why he's staring, he always has a different reason

Somehow he always knows when to compliment you when you're feeling down

he will always find the best way to make you feel better and it's unique and special

"I love how your shoulders look when you're reading" or like "I just can't take my eyes off you when you smile, it lights up your whole face. All I want to do is make you smile til the end of our days" etc etc

Shadowheart

Lovely person but I do think she’d learn to love bigger bodies, I like to think Karlach was her sexual awakening to big women

But honestly I think it would only take some good titties for her to be convinced

I think she would love being smaller than you, and would absolutely wear your shirt/blouse around camp as a baggy dress

Especially to kind of brag about sleeping with you and you being hers and hers alone

She would basically exclusively want to sleep with her head resting on your thighs

many many nights were spent like that looking at the stars

honestly you'll need to ask her for compliments but she never fails to make you smile with them

"What? You want me to tell you how perfect you are? Or how beautifully your body looks in that tight dress? How much I want to take you to bed right now? I thought you already knew those things, but if you ask I'll say them a million times, til you believe it, and a few more times for good measure."

Wyll

Wyll is so sweet and so nice, he always compliments you and always hugs you in the best ways

he notices your insecurities and makes sure to compliment them and tell you how much he loves and appreciates those parts of you

He also just finds you the sexiest thing alive

he loves his partners bigger

I mean I've already said he's an ass man and he fully wants to be engulfed in that ass if possible and that just don't happen with skinner people

Wyll loves his comforts and his comforts is just ass on face tbh

he'd get real wild and very flirty drunk too

"Give me all of that ass" and "sit on my face and ride it like you mean it til the dawn breaks"

is also in love with your stomach and kisses it whenever your closing rides up or is exposed from the clothing itself being revealing or just short

when he's next to you he will always have his hand around your waist

Karlach

no matter what size you are Karlach can pick you up and swing you around like she's picking up a pillow so

she treats you absolutely no differently than a skinnier person, maybe she picks you up and swings you around more actually

she'd treat you kinda as a princess it's adorable

In my head, Karlach is obviously super muscley but also kinda chubby so like there'd be no reason to see you as anything but perfect and so beautiful

She is always snackin' on stuff, so she'd ask if you wanted any of the nibbles she found on the way

Karlach would wanna just sleep face down on your stomach so like you can decide if she actually does every single night or short rest or nah

and she'd randomly kiss your tummy while she laid on it just cause she wants to and she finally can kiss you and lay on you, and all the fun things she wanted to do for what felt like forever

Lae'zel

she sees someone as the bigger, the more strength

so immediately she'd be like ah yes, a worth lover able to take all intensities i give

She's definitely go harder on you in combat (during a certain romance scene) because of your size, and definitely give more during sex

Especially if you have bigger arms? she's a suckers for big arms

Lae'zel would cuddle like it was fucking wrestling

like you'd wake up with bruises and if you asked she'd be like, you can take all I give, therefore I will give you even more than I have

everything she does is intense of course but she will never baby you like she may someone smaller

she sees you so much as an equal and a strong fighter it's actually very cute and everyone is kind of shocked how much she likes you

----

Tag list, tell me if you want to be added!

@shyminnie07 @makers-breath @claryvoyantfray @black-sapphic

(Consider supporting me on Ko-fi)

[blueseachelle]

Hard To Breathe

Sebastian Sallow x MC! Reader

Just the two in love. Not angst at all. Just a cute short little write.

The new fifth year. The talk of the school.

Sebastian walked down the hallways as he heard the other students talk about his best friend.

Every since Y/n was admitted as the new fifth year, Sebastian was always by their side. With Ominis, of course. They have been on so many adventures together. But, recently, Sebastian has been feeling something... unusual towards her.

Every time she was around and did her normal things like how she sets a hand on him or walk around with him arm in arm, he has felt like... Like he couldn't breathe. He would lose train of thought and then he would get caught up in his fantasies of them together. Not in a... certain sense but, just the romantic sense. She always then nudged him and told him if he was too far into space you might get stuck there. This always made him smile as they walked the halls.

Ominis saw all this and told Sebastian to just confess. Fear riddled the brunette's body at thought. Y/n could do so much better than him. She could have a seventh year under her thumb if she wanted. Sebastian just decided to avoid his feelings and continue in the way he was doing with her.

Little did Sebastian know that Ominis knew things he didn't. Y/n first hand told him how she felt about Sebastian. Ominis thought that she would be the thing to make him quit is quest for a cure maybe. Maybe she could talk so sense into him. Y/n is in direct contact with ancient magic all the time so, maybe she could reason with him to stop before he gets to far. Of course, he also knew how stubborn Sebastian could be. Maybe the two could balance each other out. The sweetness of Y/n and the stubbornness of Sebastian. Maybe he'll calm down. Ominis could only hope.

~~~~~~

It was quite a busy afternoon. Sebastian found himself in the library, not in the restricted section for once. He was focused on his potions book as he scribbled down notes in his journal. Ominis was studying on the second floor while Sebastian studied on the first floor.

Y/n was finish for her assignment of the day and went to look for them. She always went to find the duo to hang out or tutor them, she was always there to help and lend a hand.

She found Sebastian in the potions sections of the library tucked away in a corner. He always tried to find corner desks. He felt safer that way. His side and back would be to the wall yet, he could oversee everything around him. Anne used to make fun of him by telling him he was just scared to be noticed by the librarian. He chuckles to himself sometimes remembering her teasing him like that all the time. He missed his twin.

Y/n walked over and sat in the chair next to him. He jumped a little bit and looked over at her,

"Hey, Y/n. I thought you were doing assignments today?"

She gave him a smile,

"I got done early so, here I am! To hangout with you!"

Sebastian's heart started to race. He felt the air escape him like usual. He quickly focused back in his open book as his face slowly reddend.

"That's really nice. I'm happy you decided to hangout with me."

She giggled and put a hand on his shoulder,

"Of course! I love spending my off time with you! Your my favorite person! Just shhhhh. Don't tell Ominis."

She giggled a little more before removing her hand as she looked at his open book.

All he could do is nod. He didn't trust himself to answer her with words. He knew she would something was wrong and would poke and prod at him until he finally confessed. She, somehow, was a master interrogator for some reason. Y/n could get an answer out of anyone.

She read the book with Sebastian. She always noticed where he struggled and would stop and explain what they meant. If it was a ingredient, she would explain it's purpose. He loved how she just knew. I made him wonder how much she actually knows. He would love to explore her brain. Just to see what goes through that pretty little head of hers.

At one of the explanations, she reached over and plucked the quill out of his hand and wrote some things down for him. Her back as pressed into his chest as she leaned over. Sebastian's breath disappeared once again but, (he didn't know this) she could feel his breath disappear. She wondered why she had this effect on him. It wasn't normal. Definitely not. Of course, her oblivious self was worried for her friend/crush's health.

After the little note as finish, Y/n sat up straight and immediately cupped his cheek and put a hand on his forehead. Sebastian's body started to heat up and he gained a slight sheen of sweat on his face. This made the girl worry more.

"Sebastian, you are burning up. You lost your breath and now, you are getting a fever. Are you okay?"

He saw the concern in her eyes. He rested a hand on the one caressing his cheek.

"I-i'm okay. I promise."

She shook her head,

"No. You are sick so, we are taking you to your bed so you can rest. I don't want you to get worse."

"Y/n. I'm not sick. I-It's something else. Not sickness."

She tilted her head slightly,

"What do you mean?"

Sebastian took a deep breath before he captured the girls lips with his. Her eyes widened. She froze for a second before returning the kiss. Her hands moving to his hair. He moved his hands to her waist.

After a minute or so, they parted.

Sebastian rested his forehead to Y/n's.

"I-I... I need to tell you this. I love you. I was so nervous to confess to you. It made it hard to breathe. I want you to be mine and I your's. Please be my one and only."

Y/n got a big smile on her face and she gave him another kiss.

"I love you too, Sebastian. I want to be your's and you mine."

Another kiss was exchanged between the new couple. Y/n giggled slightly. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her.

"What's so funny?"

She smiled,

"Let's hope your symptoms don't get worse. You don't have to hold your breath anymore. I'm your's"

Sebastian smiled widely while chuckling. He hugged her.

"You are my cure, My Love!"

They both laughed. Sebastian and Y/n continued to study together. Little did they know that Ominis hid around the corner because he came down to talk to Sebastian but, what he found was so much better. Finally, he was waiting since ever for the two of you to get together. He smiled to himself. He's proud of Sebastian for finally be actually happy for the first time in a while.

[terras-domain]

what do you think the sexiest thing StayC Isa would do? (Besides showing off her thicc thighs)

terra's note: Hey anon, took me a while to write this, cuz I have to think of a wild theme but I couldn't make it short enough like I usually do. So uuuh yeah, hope you accept this little short "smut" of her getting railed hehe. Anyways love you all, whoever it is reading this and hope you have a nice day <33 (trigger warning: voyeurism, cum in pussy, stranger sex)

words: 967

Isa one time going out to a water park with the girls, and after a tiring day of going rides and splashing water she rests on a giant floaty, laying down on her stomach while she relaxes on a lazy river. While she lets the stream bring her across the lap of the chill pool, she feels a hand groping on her soft covered ass, causing her to jolt up and look around the area, seeing there's actually a guy that was groping her.

For some reason the guy had zero idea who he did that too, in his mind that was just some random hot chick you would find at a water park. The fact she's alone makes it the more reasons for Isa to be a prey for his lust. Isa, seeing the guy not even flinch after making direct eye contact, tilted her head in confusion and questioned, "do you not know who I am?". The pervert only gave a short reply, "no idea, but your body sure does sing for me." Isa could only shake her head in disbelief. Is Stayc really that underrated? After a little thought, she's pretty stressed from schedule and when else will she ever be treated like a normal woman? She looked at the guy that groped him and left her floaty somewhere she can pick up later. The guy was ecstatic to see Isa still there with him even after practically molesting her.

The lazy river was deep enough to submerge Isa's lower body, so when the guy kept touching and squeezing her round ass, it wasn't visible. It was a slow day sure but there's still people around to see the guy groping her ass. They ended up near a section where they spray mists of water which covers the vision of most people around. The man stopped her, letting the journey around the lazy river to a short pause. "Let's have a little fun baby~" he lowered his shorts, letting his cock out and lead her hand to hold it.

Isa was shocked to feel her soft hands holding such a huge member, out in the open, only hidden underneath the pool of water mixed with chlorine. She had no other choice but to take a step forward to close the gap between them, making sure nobody sees them. "Fuck this is so wrong..." Isa muttered, her voice breathy from anxiety, scared of getting caught. "Don't worry sweetie. Nobody can see us~" the soft yet deep voice from the man reassured Isa to be more calm. She kept her hand moving back and forth on his cock, working it up to make him hard, almost leaking a bit of precum from his cock.

"Oh gosh baby you're a pro at this aren't you?" As the guy endured Isa's soft hands jerking her off, he reached down to her thighs, groping her. It's either the mist is too thick today or the people that went past them were blinded by the two having literal sex at the corner of a lazy river. The fact they haven't been caught yet boost the ego of the man, wanting to take more risks. He turned her around and slowly slide his cock in between her thick milky thighs. Isa yelped, but immediately covers her mouth with her hand, suppressing her moans while the pervy guy keeps doing his business. She can see multiple people crossing paths with them as he fucks her smooth thighs, but for some reason nobody was noticing anything weird about them. The man in heat continues his pursuit between Isa's thick thighs, humping his cock back and forth as he grunted, trying to hold back his load.

"Fuck baby, I wanna cum." He grunted, whispering in her ears so that it won't be heard by anyone else. "What? But then they'll see your cum though" Isa argued, worried as she raised an eyebrow whilst looking at him. It was too late, he couldn't wait any longer. He had to improvise somehow. Last resort, he slide Isa's underwear to the side, and slide in his cock deep inside as he shot his load deep in her tight cunt, leaving Isa to bite her lips, fighting the urge to scream out her moans as her pussy gets filled up. "Fuckkk....." Isa looked back at him, seeing his panting, joyous face from cumming to such a baddie. As much as Isa wanted to punch him in the face and tear his horny dick off, she had fun, so she lets him off. "That was fun~" the man smirked, huffing and puffing to regain his breath. "What's your name cutie?" He asked, trying to hook up for another round sometime else. "oh sorry~ I can't give you my number. I uuuh can't really do that" Isa replied, her forehead sweating as she tries to find herself a way to get out of the river to get back her floaty. "aww why's that babygirl? I promise it'll be worth your time the next time we meet." He countered, pushing his luck to get the girl who satisfied his lustful needs. He wants her again, more and more of that juicy body. "Sorry dude, it's pretty complicated. Search up Stayc, maybe you'll find some answers." She smiled, in a show off manner as she climbed the steps to get out of the pool of chlorine, her thighs jiggle at every step which made the public eye fixated on her for that moment, especially the one that managed to cum in her tight pussy. She walked away, hiding the cum deep in her pussy hoping nobody sees it. "This is one hell of a story to tell Sieun unnie" she sighed, walking away quickly as her steps fades away from the scene.

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[cryoniide]

could you do a house x male reader where reader is also struggling through a drug addiction to the point they overdose, and house wonders why they arent responding gets mad at them but then finds out reader is in the hospital due to the OD? angsty comfort? sorry im struggling at the moment and this sounds nice, i understand if its a bit too serious to write about tho

of course i can, i tried my best sorry if it isn’t exactly what you want, i can redo it if needed ^^

i’m here now

gregory house x male reader

it was monday, a universal day that was hated by everyone. why? no one really knows. but, today was a very bad day for y/n l/n. he was an employee at princeton-plainsboro teaching hospital. he was under the finest doctor there, dr. gregory house. now, no one knew why the boy wanted to work with the drug addicted sadist. no one but him. his reasoning? because him and dr. house have one thing in common. drug addiction.

for y/n, it started when he was in high school. he had a shitty childhood which continued into his teen years. only when he found drugs had he found peace. but, as the years progressed, so did his addiction. it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t even remember a time he was sober, besides the weeks leading up to his every-6-month checkups, which were the closest thing to hell on earth.

but, why was it a shitty day for y/n? well, he had given the wrong diagnosis, and got called an idiot for almost killing a patient. he missed breakfast. got his lunch stolen by his boss. but, the worst thing of all was that there was a new patient. someone from his past. someone he never, ever, wanted to see again. his mother. when he saw her, he turned around.

‘fuck this shit.’

after that, no one saw him the whole day. it was only a few hours after y/n left when house started to get angry.

“how dare that brat leave right after we get assigned a case!” he complained to wilson, who rolled his eyes in response, “have you tried, i dont know, asking him?” wilson replied, not bothering to look up from the folder in his hand.

the whole day, house toyed with the patient to release his frustrations. to be homest, he was starting to get less angry and more worried. he made an excuse saying that y/n is the sharpest one on the team and that the rest of them can’t function without him. when, in reality, house was the one that couldn’t function. wilson was the only one who knew why house was actually worried. why? well, the two sort of have a..romantic relationship.

he tried reaching him. call after call after call, but it all went straight to voicemail. after treating the patient, house found out it was y/n’s mom. he was about to go to his lovers home, when he got a page.

‘room 202, now.’

it was from lisa. he rushed down to the room, seeing the unconscious body of his lover. he rushed to his side grabbing y/n’s hand and looking up at the cuddy. “he overdosed…on oxycodone.”

‘fuck.’ house thought.

how could he had let this slip past him? how could he have not noticed that you were suffering all this time? he wanted to beat himself up over this, but he knew you wouldn’t want that. so he waited, sitting in the chair and watching your vitals all night. he didn’t want to risk losing someone so close to him. not again.

you woke up the next day, your head pounding and your feelings all over the place. you were glad to be alive but, god you wish you weren’t. “y/n?” you turned to the voice, seeing greg sitting next to you. he looked miserable, the bags under his eyes darker than they were before. “are you okay? why didn’t you tell me?” you didn’t say anything. to be honest, you wish you could’ve told him. that you were suffering. that you wanted help. needed help. but, it wasn’t easy to admit you were an addict.

“i know it’s hard, but please, talk to me.” you looked in his eyes. he was worried. genuinely worried. right there, tears escaped your eyes, streaming down your face. he got up, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. “it’s okay, y/n. i’m here, now. you’re safe, i promise.”

a/n; I HOPE THIS IS OKAY. i tried my best. again, loveeee writing angst, decided to throw in a sad lil backstory hope you dont mind and i hope you enjoyed. on a serious note, if any of you are struggling with addiction, please don’t be afraid to talk to someone and get help, even if its with a friend at first. i have a family member who’s an alcoholic, and i know it isnt the same as drugs but it hurts me to see that person going down this path. i worry that one day they aren’t gonna be here anymore and i really dont want that to be soon. so please, talk to someone, anyone, and don’t be afraid to ask for help <33 you are loved and cared for i promise

[linawritestwst]

Not knowing whether all the requests are taken but if there are any slots, could you write about a g/n reader who is a singer (or maybe even an idol) in the original world, confess to their crush by performing a love song in front of all NRC’s students, keep their eyes on that person for most of the time? Please make it with all the dorm leaders (and Jamil if you feel like writing his). Thank you very much 💖.

dorm leaders reacting to an idol!reader performing a love song for them (gn!reader)

this is such a cute request! sorry i didn't do jamil's part though, i've been feeling a bit tired lately ;w; and i went with an idol!reader, i hope that's okay!

riddle rosehearts.

♡ riddle knew that you were an idol before coming to this world, but even though you told him that a long time ago, he still has no idea how your singing sounds. he was curious to hear you sing, he can't deny that, but asking you to do it was.. a bit too much for him. yeah, he was too shy to ask, haha. but he still hoped that he'll get to hear you sing one day.

♡ so, cater told riddle that something very important is going to happen today and the dorm leader just can't miss it, he has to be there. naturally, riddle thought that it's going to be something like an announcement from the headmaster and he made sure to remember to come and hear it. huh? is it just him, or cater looks like he's trying really hard not to laugh?

♡ wow, all nrc students are here.. so it really is going to be something important. of course, riddle is not scared at all, he's completely calm and he's ready to listen- wait, is that you? he thought the headmaster is going to stand there.. you thank everyone for coming and then you notice riddle's face in the crowd. you give him a big smile and wave your hand and though it looks like you're saying hi to everyone, for some reason riddle feels like you're doing this for him.. you mention that you were an idol before coming to twisted wonderland and that you really wanted to sing something for nrc students, because they were so nice to you and you're glad you met them. wait, so when cater said that something very important is going to happen today, he was talking about this?? no, no, it's not like riddle thinks your song is nothing special, it's just.. please don't tell him that cater knew about his crush on you.

♡ you start singing and your voice is just as beautiful as riddle imagined it to be. no, actually, it's even more beautiful! also, maybe it's just riddle overthinking things, but the song that you're singing is a lot more romantic than he thought it would be. maybe it's actually supposed to be platonic- ah, wait, some lyrics don't sound like platonic love at all. also, why do you keep looking at him while singing? it's almost like.. you're singing this song for him. sure, you wanted to sing for others too, but it's like you chose this song to tell riddle something. after you're done and you leave the stage, riddle says that your performance was amazing and even though he tries really hard to stay calm, you can see him blushing a bit. riddle wants to believe that you chose this song so that you could tell him how you feel about him, but he won't mention that, at least not right now. but if that really was your intention.. then it means that you love him back?

leona kingscholar.

♡ you told leona that you were an idol in the past and.. he wasn't that impressed, actually. he knows what idol music is like and he doesn't find it that interesting, it's too.. cutesy for him. you told him that there are a lot of different idol concepts, but he still wasn't interested. he still wanted to hear you sing though, but whenever he mentioned your singing, you just went "what, you want to hear it just so that you can make fun of me?". you weren't that serious about it and you mostly meant it as a joke, but deep inside.. you were scared. what if leona ends up not liking your singing? you really didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your crush, so you needed a lot of time before you finally got the courage to perform for him.

♡ you invited other nrc students too though. you wanted to confess your feelings for leona with your song, but you didn't want it to look too obvious. also you were still a bit scared, you know that it probably sounds weird that you're more afraid of performing for your crush and not for a huge crowd of students, but you just can't help it. also you want leona to use his brains and figure out the reason why you invited him. what, you can't just go "hey, i like you, please go on a date with me"! you sure hope that leona will get your message though.

♡ leona ends up coming too even though ruggie pretty much forced him to go and he thinks it's just going to be another boring concert and he hopes he'll be able to sleep through it, but when he finds out that you are going to be the one performing, he suddenly doesn't feel so sleepy anymore. ruggie immediately goes "wow, you sure look more energetic now, dorm leader-" before leona tells him to shut up. leona is quiet during your entire performance and doesn't say anything, which makes you think he's bored and you're trying really hard not to panic. well, at least other students are enjoying the show..

♡ when you're done singing, you go to talk to some other students who praise your singing skills and tell you that you've done a great job, but they get interrupted by leona's sudden appearance. you want to leave as soon as possible because you're sure that leona didn't like your performance. you even tell him to just go ahead and say that he hated it- "what made you think i hated it? it was fine. still not my kind of thing, but not as bad as i thought it would be." h-huh? so.. wait a second. you know leona, if he says that something was "fine" or "okay", it means he absolutely loved it. he also tells you that he didn't really care about the song, he just wanted to hear your voice, that's all. and you're pretty good at singing, so the fact that it's an idol song doesn't bother him that much. well, that's good to hear- wait, SO THAT MEANS HE JUST IGNORED THE LYRICS??

azul ashengrotto.

♡ azul is another dorm leader who knew about your past and he really wanted to hear you sing one day. oh, you know, it's just something he finds interesting, he totally doesn't think that you singing for the mostro lounge customers would be a great idea, haha.. you promised him many times that you will sing for him one day and it looks like you're finally going to fulfill that promise because he received quite an interesting invitation from you today. you tell him that you're going to perform for all nrc students because azul is not the only person in this school who wanted to hear you sing, but you would be very happy if he came too. and of course, he can't miss an event like that.

♡ azul has very high expectations for you and you're extremely nervous because of that. what if he doesn't like your voice? what if he thinks you're not talented at all? what if he hates the song that you're going to sing? you wanted to confess your love for him with this song too and you wrote it yourself while thinking about azul.. well, you will just hope that he's gonna like it, you don't really have any other choice.

♡ azul knows about idols that's what happens when you're in the same club as idia and though he's not a big fan of them, he still finds you being an idol impressive. also, being friends with an idol can be one of his many useful connections- no, no, he really does treasure the friendship he has with you! he actually would love it if your relationship became even deeper than that.. you didn't hear that from him. but when he finally hears you sing, your performance exceeds all of his expectations. why.. why didn't you let him hear your voice sooner?? he already had a feeling that you must be very talented because of how popular you were in your world, but.. he finally gets what idia meant when he said that idols bring people joy and happiness.

♡ he tries to act like his usual self when you ask him if he liked the show and you hear a lot of compliments from him, however, they sound a lot more sincere than, you know, his usual speech. so he really did like your performance.. you're so happy.. but there's still one question left. you ask him if he paid attention to the lyrics and he nods and says that it was a deep and beautiful love song and he wonders if you wrote the lyrics yourself. you proudly tell him that you did and mention that you wrote this song with one of your friends in mind. azul freezes for a second and tries to act like nothing happened and compliments you once again before he leaves. yeah, now he's going to overthink what you said and try to figure out who you were talking about. and no, for some reason he doesn't think that you were talking about him.

kalim al-asim.

♡ when kalim finds out that you used to be an idol, he's not sure what you mean by that, but once you explain it to him, he is so interested and he is so?? proud of you?? like wow, you used to be this really popular singer and you made so many people smile, how cool is that? he admires you even more now! oh, wait, now he really wants to know how your voice sounds like when you sing. he asks if you can sing something for him, but you don't think you're ready for that yet, singing in front of your crush sounds so scary.. he totally gets it if you're uncomfortable with it though! he just hopes that you will let him hear you sing one day.

♡ when you finally feel like you're brave enough to sing for kalim AND confess your feelings for him, kalim suddenly says that you should let all nrc students hear your voice, come on, it would be so fun! oh well, looks like your confession can wait, haha.. you don't mind singing for others at all, in fact, you would love them to hear you sing, they're your friends after all. it's just that you've been waiting for this moment for so long and it looks like your confession won't be that "personal" anymore. but hey, at least it won't be that embarrassing!.. probably.

♡ kalim actually notices you looking a bit nervous before the concert and tries to help you calm down. he tells that he's sure you're gonna do great and he already knows that he's going to love your performance. you were so popular in your world and people loved to hear you sing, he's sure people from twisted wonderland are going to become your fans too! but he doesn't know that you're anxious not because you think people are going to hate your singing, but because you're literally going to confess your love for kalim with your song. but yeah, what he said to you made you fall in love with him even more.

♡ kalim ends up loving your performance SO MUCH. he never really listened to idol music before, but he's glad that your song became his first experience with it. he has so much to say, he has so much to ask, he refuses to let you go after the show is over. he's just so happy, he knew that you're an amazing and talented person, but your performance turned out to be even better than he expected! the song was so cute and your voice was beautiful and- yes, he does remember you singing a love song, what about it? oh, did you have a deeper reason for choosing that song? how interesting, he would love to hear it then!

vil schoenheit.

♡ he was certainly intrigued when he found out that you were an idol in the past. he's not really a fan of music like that, but he didn't expect you to be someone famous in your world. now he even feels kind of guilty for being so hard on you when you first met, it means that you both are most likely on the same level.. no, actually, he'll be even more strict with you now. now that he knows that you were a celebrity, he will pay even more attention to your hair, skincare, etc. wait, what do you mean, you're not sure that you want to keep being an idol in this world? so it's like.. you're taking a break from that?.. whatever, it doesn't mean that you can just stop taking care of your appearance.

♡ you've always wanted to sing something for vil and you've been thinking about confessing your love for him too, so.. why not combine these two things? you've always found it easier to express your feelings through music and you're sure that it will be easier for you to express your love that way too. when he receives an invitation to come to your concert, he's quiet at first, but then he suddenly goes ".. didn't you say that you took a break from your career?" yes, he thinks that it was just an excuse so that he won't be so strict with you. he agrees to come though.

♡ you look like you're completely calm, after all, you're used to hiding your true feelings thanks to your job. but you're actually very, VERY scared. what if vil doesn't like your performance? oh, he's totally gonna hate it. your idol songs are too cute for someone like him, you knew that you should've picked a more elegant-sounding song! he's not gonna like the lyrics too, you really should've went with something different.. oh well, you don't have time for this right now.

♡ vil remains completely emotionless during the whole show which makes you panic, but you still keep going. you can't let others down just because he's not enjoying it. you try to prepare yourself for what he's about to say after you're done and oh no, he looks angry- oh, he just wanted to tell you that you've been dancing so much, your hair is a mess now. haha, yeah, that's definitely something vil would say. when you ask him about your performance, he tells you that he never was into idol music, but.. he has to admit that he liked your voice a lot. he also noticed you looking at him the entire time. "so.. does this mean that you know how i feel about-" "you should've looked at the other people too. i know, it's easy to get distracted when someone like me is here, but you should pay more attention to others. i thought an experienced idol like you would know that."

idia shroud.

♡ WAIT YOU WERE AN IDOL?? please. please tell him more. please, he has to know more about your past. he wants to know what kind of idol you were, what was your theme/concept, what did you call your fans and of course, he wants to hear you sing too. you say that you can't do that yet and when he asks why, you laugh and say that "your friendship level is not high enough". oh.. but he thought you two were friends.. wait, that was a joke? ah, you're just too shy to sing for him right now. that's actually kinda cute.. no, he didn't say anything!

♡ when you tell him that you're going to have a concert soon and you want him to come, he's not that happy about it at first because. you know. people. and he doesn't think that those normies are going to appreciate your talent that much. "well then, now i want you to show up even more because you're most likely going to be the only one who can truly support me~" that's it. he's coming. well, that was easy. the hardest part is going to be trying to confess your love to him..

♡ again, idia is not happy about having to sit with all these nrc students who don't know anything about idols and who can't understand how talented you really are. but when you actually start singing, he immediately forgets about all of that stuff and he can't take his eyes off you. he knew that you would be a great singer considering how popular you were in your world, but.. that's it, you're his favorite idol now. he doesn't even remember who he used to stan before hearing your singing.

♡ when the show is over, he waits for others to leave so that he can talk to you without worrying about them. and when you two are all alone, that's when he goes full otaku mode. he literally has stars in his eyes and he can't stop talking about how cute you looked in your outfit and how good you are at dancing and how pretty your voice was. you can feel your face becoming warm and red and you try to stop him even though you don't want him to stop. wait, so he also noticed you looking at him the entire time??.. ah, he just thinks that you did that because he was the only one who could truly support you, just like you said.

malleus draconia.

♡ he doesn't know anything about idols. literally nothing. so when you tell him about your past, he doesn't really get what you mean by being an idol, but when you explain it to him.. okay, yeah, that sounds interesting. do you mind singing something for him then? if you're comfortable with that, of course. but if you're not, it's okay, he can wait. what malleus doesn't know is that you've been planning to sing for him, but not just any song. you want to confess your feelings for him with your song.

♡ you want this moment to be memorable though, so you decide to invite other students too, you know that some of them also really wanted to listen to your songs. also malleus won't feel so lonely with so many other students around! and yes, you make sure to invite malleus to your little concert and don't worry, he won't forget to come. no, actually, he will mark this day in his calendar, that's how important you are to him. he tells lilia, silver and sebek about it too and lilia finds it adorable that malleus is so excited to finally hear you sing. and yes, all four of them are going to come.

♡ when malleus finally hears your voice.. he already had feelings for you, but now he's totally in love with you. he can see how hard you've been working and he can see how passionate you are about being an idol. lilia mentions that you've been looking at malleus this whole time and malleus goes "wait really??". he was so busy looking at you and listening to you sing, but he didn't even notice you looking right back at him. that's how much of a simp he is

♡ other students tell you that they enjoyed your show, but when they see malleus draconia himself wanting to talk to you as well, they immediately leave while apologizing. they are afraid that he's gonna say something bad about your performance because of how he's been staring at you this whole time, but you know that this guy actually loved it and had a lot of fun. he says that you've definitely impressed him.. but he's afraid he won't be satisfied with just one song. you have to let him listen to you sing more often. oh, but sadly, he would be another guy to ignore the lyrics. he was too busy admiring you to pay attention to that.

[wellcollapse]

idk if you're still writing the post-cemetry scene fic with pining eddie (idk if i'm describing it right) but i would love to hear more about it/see a snippet or too if you feel so inclined 👀

someone asking about angsty pining fic in the month of our lord april 2024? this was such a lovely surprise 😭 i'm gonna be honest with u anon i'm likely not going to publish 911 fic again BUT because you asked so nicely i'll give you a few older snippets from my draft:

Eddie sighs, breaking the stare. “You have a key, you know,” he says finally. “Feel free to come join me whenever you want.” He turns on his heel and walks back inside to finish his goddamn brownies, leaving Buck standing in the doorway.  It’s silent for a few minutes. He’s in the middle of measuring a tablespoon of espresso powder when Buck steps into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. Eddie feels the weight of Buck’s gaze on him as he folds the powder into his brownie mixture, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eye until Buck speaks.  “Is that…” Buck falters. He clears his throat. “Is that my recipe?”  “Yeah,” Eddie says gruffly. “Chris asked me to make it. Said he wanted to share it with his friends when they come over tomorrow for their playdate.”  Buck snorts. “Man, you can’t call it that. Chris nearly bit my head off last time I tried. Kept reminding me that ‘playdates are for kids, Buck,’ and that he’s not a kid anymore.”  Buck emphasizes that last bit with air quotes, and Eddie can’t help but grin at that. But his smile fades instantly, remembering the somber look on Buck’s face when he’d opened the door. He highly doubts that Buck came over just to commiserate about the trials and tribulations of watching Christopher grow up.  Eddie bites the bullet. “Why are you here, Buck?”  Buck shifts nervously. He shrugs and looks away from Eddie. “I — I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer that. You’ve never asked me that before.”  Eddie scrubs at his face. “I've never had to ask you that, Buck. Things are different now. You’ve been busy.” 

+

“Wow,” Buck says acidly, all traces of heartbreak gone. “I’ve never heard that one before.”  Eddie frowns. “What?”  “Really, Eddie?” Buck’s voice cracks on the last syllable. He shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Just — unbelievable.” “Buck — what are you talking about?”  “We were just trying to protect you, Evan," Buck mocks. "You were never supposed to find out. We kept it from you because we love you. Any of that sound familiar to you?” Eddie’s breath hitches on the word love, because he doesn’t know, he can’t know, but then —  Oh.  Fuck.

+

Buck: We’ll get through this just like everything else. I promise. It’ll be okay.  Buck: Eddie, did you eat enough today? Should I come by and bring you some food? Buck: You know you’re still my best friend, right? That’s never going to change, Eddie. Never.  He reacts with a thumbs up or a tap-back heart on most of the messages, too exhausted to do anything else. He replies with a thumbs down to the message about food, certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Buck so soon. He knows he’ll have to face him in person eventually, but his tired, broken heart just wants to postpone it as much as he can.  The last one, though, is a balm that both soothes and agitates Eddie’s burning, aching heart, and he taps out a brief, Thank you, you too. Always, in response. It feels like too much and not enough all at once, and Eddie wishes once again that he was a little better at resisting Buck, that he didn’t feel that need to reply to his every message lest Buck worry even more about him. The only one he actually acknowledges is a message that comes in at 2:43 AM on Sunday. As he opens the message, Eddie absentmindedly wonders if Buck’s having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason as him. Probably.  It’s a link to a new exhibit at the Griffith Observatory, accompanied by a text that reads: Can I take Christopher here next weekend? Eddie squeezes back tears as he replies with a brief, Of course, and puts his phone down, letting the darkness swallow him again. 

+

Hen beats him to it. “What happened, Buck? I thought you really liked her. Weren’t you planning to introduce her to Maddie and Chimney next week?”  “Not anymore,” Buck mutters. “I broke up with her.”  “What?” Eddie snaps head snaps up. “Why?”  Buck doesn’t meet his gaze, his lip quivering. The rest of their team is watching them, eyes darting back and forth, and Buck blinks hesitantly before swallowing down a sip of coffee. He wipes the cream off of his upper lip and looks Eddie in the eye.  “You know why,” Buck whispers. 

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

finished my rewatch of gravity falls today so here's some random thoughts i wrote down over the course of the last few episodes (sure most of this has been mentioned already but eh. no harm in repeating things):

-could you imagine how differently things would've gone if any of the pines members knew about ford's nightmare (especially stan)

-ford visibly shaking from how hard he's digging his fingers into the floor (referring to the security droid grabbing him)

-ford almost dies three times before bill actually captures him

-'i haven’t been able to find grunkle stan anywhere' was stan not at the shack at that time or did you just not consider checking his house

-a full limerick for 'man from kentucky' wasn’t allowed, but onscreen death is??

-shapeshifter wink + mabeland fake wendy wink

-why is the unicorn half petrified? what caused the gnome to be mostly petrified, but not quite? how was woodpecker guy able to keep his petrified woodpecker? so many questions about these guys. what occurred here

-first time ford gets turned to "gold", he appears cracked. the second time, he’s free of cracks. implication: either the stone/"gold" people get turned into cracks over time or bill roughed ford up a bit even before the torture

-bill disassembles ford and reassembles him on the other side of the room. interesting to consider for. y'know. torture

-speaking of bill, WHY DO YOU HAVE EIGHT EYELASHES NOW. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEVEN

-love fiddleford so much. and also zanthar. and craz and xyler. and soos. and-

-manly dan hugs wendy more gently than soos does

-'(strangely genuine) good to see you too bro >:(' i'm sorry stan did seeing your brother trapped in a horrifying gold-ish statue change your tune a bit

-i agree with the circle actually. the fuck are you doing, stan. 

-i feel like the stan twins were strangled in different ways. it seems like ford was literally being strangled and bill was doing something directly to stan's lungs, based on the way they reacted to it. or i'm looking way too much into the animation who knows

-the way stan kneels on the ground :((((

-actually every scene with post-deal stan in it

-ford ultimate depression

-waddles was waiting for them :(((((((((

-stan lies in different ways depending on what he remembers (referring to him lying about the destroyed house being a nice place to be polite)

-'someone get waddles off of me!!' ford: :0 :D

-this also implies that ford learned waddles name at some point

-was wondering why pacifica seemed to have a bit of a character regression. then realized that she had to live with her abusive parents after the party. they uh. they need to be obliterated (heck you can even tell there's a sort of distance between them based on the fact that pacifica's parents wait for her to come to them, as opposed to the corduroys running to wendy immediately. it's not even a durland + blubs situation, they are fully aware of their surroundings at this point)

-pacifica's still trying her best though!!

-ford sings happy birthday with everyone else :)))

-ford's hair grows out really quickly

-'heh' resulting in an immediate :0 until ford keeps talking, at which point stan smiles again

-stan did you think that laugh was intended to be a 'that's ridiculous stan why would you ever think that' type deal and not a 'wow i love talking to you this is great' type thing

-'SHUT UP FOREVER'

-'CAN IT SOOS' in sync (hey ford you learned his name!)

-stan's 'don’t test me >:(' implication vs ford's 'i have killed and i will do it again' implication

-ford comforting hand on shoulder. stan looking shocked until he sees ford smiling at him. grgaggasgg

-fucking love these two

-stan writes in print in all caps (this might mean nothing to you but trust me there is a reason i'm pointing it out)

-ford doing the hand thing in the credits

-'ford hates mabel' DID YOU MISS THE FUCKING TURKEY

that's it that's all of the thoughts

it can go in the tag cause. why not, y'know?

[alaskaartz]

Silk Song RAMBLE.

I have a really hard time containing my excitement so

SPOILERS FOR SILKSONG! do not read anymore of this if you want to go into silksong spoiler free!

OK BUT LIKE- The updated HK wiki was a thing today and I went and looked at the silksong part of it. and OH MY GOD- I know most of these things already but everything about silksong makes me just so excited- silksong has a lot of things that I love and adore already and team cherry really just picked up everything I love and put it into one game, which makes me literally wanna jump around my room cuz I'm so happy

Ok rambling about things now

Up first moss grotto:

THIS PLACE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I love moss, and I love lily pads. I love EVERYTHING about this place! I love the atmosphere of it and the feeling it gives off. It feels very comforting in an odd way, with all the moss and plants mixed with what I assume to be bones makes a really comforting place. The enemies shown here are also really really cute, I just wanna hug them, they look like they'd be soft. Something about moss grotto makes it seem like the perfect place to come sit and stay if you needed some alone time, I know that sounds weird but it's the best way I can describe it- Random but in the nintendo treehouse live from forever ago you could see the shell shards ROLL on the ground! and when Hornet walks on the moss it actually looks like she's walking on it! I bring this up because of how cool but more, real feeling? It makes everything feel. The fact that the currency and the shell shards roll on the ground gives it more gravity and just- overall a very cool feel to what it would be like to, idk, hold it? Geo in Hollow Knight kinda bounces around so it's like, not as realistic idk man- Another thing is Hornet, she seems to have more gravity to her, she can't jump as high or walk/run as fast as the knight did making her almost feel, heavier. She seems like she's much heavier than Ghost was

Next up, Deep docks: (the second one is my PC's wallpaper lol)

Deep docks feels very, hot, for obvious reason. Something about deep docks aesthetic is just SO COOL. I'm writing this part from memory of the treehouse live so if I'm wrong about stuff, sorry I love the rocks and bones in Deep docks, actually I love the amount of bones in most of the screenshots and trailer things I've seen- so cool, but also in deep docks it's really cool to see the bones, rocks, magma, and machinery all mixed together I really love Lace's arena, if you look in the background you can see some moss vines (?) hanging down so that makes me think It's really close to moss grotto, but it also gives her arena a more of an overgrown feel, which is really nice ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT LACE'S CRAZY AIR ATTACK?? That attack is probably my favorite out of all her moves, the way she comes back down to the ground and shakes the whole place is SO COOL- she's definitely gonna be a hard boss for me to beat but DAMN she's gonna be a fun boss Also the fact that Hornet and Lace are just fighting above flowing magma like it's nothing is badass The Citadel:

HOLY SHIT?? THERE'S SO MUCH I CAN TALK ABOUT WITH THIS ONE SCREENSHOT. The way the floor is makes the room feel very omen and very big. The room also feels old, and dusty- What seems to be torn cloths and curtains around the place makes it seem like that place has been there for a very long time. I assume and guess the Citadel is doing to play a very big and important role in the story of this game, and in the lore of Pharloom. Idk who this warrior is but he seems cool, two swords and everything. There isn't much footage of the Citadel at all which makes me a little upset because this place seems just so, so grand, so big, so IMPORTANT. I also don't know why but the colors make it feel royal. This- Place:

I'd live here, saying that right now, I'd live here. I'd find a cozy little bell to live in and stay there forever. I know the guy to the right of Hornet is singing so maybe this is a safe space in Pharloom? I would think it to be like how dirtmouth is, shops but also a calm place to be after fighting for your life for the millionth time. It's really cool how bells have been turned into homes, It's a really cool touch to this place and it makes it feel really cozy. I think the bell homes would be hanging from the ceiling, cavern roof, whatever you wanna call it- And the bug either fly or climb ladders to get into the bell houses! This place just radiates safe, and homey- once again, I will find a bell and make it my home.

This:

Not much to say about it because I know so little about it, but the fact that Hornet is fighting what I assume is I giant robot bug? omg, Also it looks like it's rusting so is it not affected by the magma but affected by something else? Or is that just weird red plants, Idk

Coral Place:

THERE. ARE. FISH. This place feeds my internal love of pirates, and anything ocean. The coral looks so alive and this place seems like it's gonna have cool stuff in it

PLEASE TELL ME THIS GUYS IS A PIRATE OR SOMETHING- He looks like a pirate, I'm not the only one who think that right? Like, a knight pirate This arena feels very small and, humid. Probably because it is either underwater or close to water. it seems really misty in there. The fact that the lanterns are held with coral, vine, things is so cool- Also there's pipes in the background! Maybe those are connected to something? I'm not trying to theorize everything I just think the possibilities are cool- I'mma call this the swamp place:

This looks like a swamp, what kind? an eerie one. It almost looks like there's ash in the air! Also the vine things in the back? so cool, the more faded they get makes this area feel very misty or foggy, which gives it a feeling of, idk, eeriness? spooky? The guy here looks like he's using a fishing pole as a weapon- which makes sense given the amount of water. The grass and, I forgot what those are called. SWAMP REEDS- are really big so it makes this place feel WAY bigger, or hornet way smaller. Not sure but I can't wait to explore this place and Probably get lost along the way.

GEARS:

I don't know what this place is, what it's for, but it feels almost steampunk so that's an automatic love from me. Also love these little flying guys, they're really cute and yeah- The gears are also super cool! It almost looks like she's inside a clock :0 This place feels warm but not, dry or humid. Just warm, a comfy warm

This section is just stuff I wanna ramble about/add so:

Cutely going insane over the fact that this place is probably a Giant rib cage

THIS PLACE. IDK WHAT IT IS OR WHAT IT'LL DO BUT I LOVE IT. JUST LOOK AT THAT BACKGROUND- Like, the 'sky' looks blue. ARE WE OUTSIDE? omg- I also love all the building in the back I just OMGOMG- It also looks like there's giant pipes, maybe it's close to the Citadel? Idk but this place makes me feel so happy I just wanna stare at it, I WANNA EXPLORE-

If you've made it this far thanks- This was the only place I could actually let out my excitement over a game that's not even out yet so- yeah- If you have any questions about stuff I rambled about or said then feel free to put something in my inbox about it so, yeah-

[ecargmura]

Oshi No Ko Episode 14 Review - Woes Of Mangaka

This episode is just showing how adaptations can work well in different forms of media and Aqua falls for all-around theater and believes that it’s a form of media that is very unique. Given how complex Aqua’s life is with everything he does being for revenge and finding his biological father, it’s actually kind of cute that he falls for something as simple as watching a theater performance. While it has been sixteen years since Goro died and became Aqua, it sort of shows that he enjoys simple things in life like a good theater performance. It does make you wonder how much of Aqua is himself and how much of his self is from Goro—this is one part of Aqua’s character that I find intriguing and the reason why I find Oshi no Ko an interesting story despite its flaws.

It also makes me curious about Akane. She’s a lot different than her first appearance and she only started to shine once she managed to get a good grasp of Ai and caused Aqua to become flustered. Since then, it makes me wonder who Akane is as a person. While Akane admires Kana and pursued acting because of her, she’s a method actor, so she’s excellent at getting into character. Is everything she’s doing after Episode 8 all because of her pretending to be Ai to grab Aqua’s attention or is that who she really is? She’s definitely hard to read.

Aqua also tells Raida one important thing about Abiko: she cannot make a script that’s suited for theater. She can’t because she’s a mangaka and GOA has many years of experience with theater. Raida did mention that she’s stubborn and that’s the case. Abiko’s young and found success so quickly that her arrogance has skyrocketed.

The Sweet Today trio plus Akane goes to visit Yoriko and they (and we) learn about some insight about the manga industry. Basically, the reason why some manga series drag on unnecessarily is due to editors wanting to grasp onto a popular series. If an editor makes a series popular, it shows off their business talents, but the downside is that it affects the mangaka’s mentality negatively. That is why editors have to have work a side job of being their author’s babysitter because of it. It’s an excruciating workforce. Yoriko calling out how weekly serialized manga authors are monsters does feel like it’s Aka Akasaka’s own personal feelings on the manga industry as a whole. Hey, it’s a very ‘write what you know’ scenario.

The second half of the episode is basically the woes of the manga industry. Yoriko writes monthly serializations, so she has free time to herself and doesn’t stress herself out too much. Abiko, on the other hand, works a weekly serialized series and doesn’t have assistants, so she basically does everything herself. She’s literally overworking herself to death, something Yoriko points out to her. The argument between the two is actually rather nice to see because it’s as Aqua said, only Yoriko can help convince Abiko to change her mind about the script. Abiko manages to pour out her feelings, showing off that she’s awkward and cannot convey what she really wants well. It’s because of Yoriko that she wanted to be a mangaka, but seeing the failure of the Sweet Today drama adaptation caused her to become jaded about adaptations and stories in general. She believes that 90% of the creative works are trash, meaning that 90% of content creators are trash too. Hey, I take offense to that! However, her words are true in a sense. Everyone has their own perception of good and bad works. Abiko’s sense comes from the fact that she drew something she wanted to write about and it quickly became popular. However, Abiko is very socially awkward, so she was basically handed fame and success when she wasn’t really ready to and it got to her.

Now that Aqua gave her a ticket to see the Prince of Tennis parody, Smash Heaven (Why wasn’t it called Prince of Table Tennis?), hopefully Abiko’s mindset will change. I hope that she is able to find a middle ground with GOA soon. Oh and Ruby finally shows up, but eh, she’s not important right now. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[quinnkdev]

My Failed Translations for other French RPG Maker Games: "Duplo", "Exercice de Style", "Dark Soul.Ace"

So, while looking through my games folder on my computer, I stumbled across three RPG Maker 2003 titles I'd like to briefly talk about.

A few years ago - nearly a decade by this point, most likely - I was such an enormous fan of Mortis Ghost's work that I was effectively scraping the bottom of the barrel. Comics and non-game works, but also: Short jam-games, and group-efforts, and shitposts...

Which brings me to my numerous failed translation efforts of those kinds of games. More under the cut.

Dark Soul.Ace

I'll head Dark Soul.Ace, the shitpost of the bunch, off at the pass:

I played it, and didn't think it was particularly interesting or funny.

I looked through the code, and, at the time, was confused, and mixed with the fact I didn't find it entertaining, a translation never got off the ground. I had no passion for it.

Below is the "trailer" for this shitpost game. Be advised that it's VERY late 00s-era humour, and really hasn't aged gracefully.

It gets more interesting from here, though:

Duplo

As far as I remember, this was a jam game Mortis Ghost made together with Exaheva, another comics artist he was collaborating with at the time. Exaheva is still around these days, and she seems a good sort!

Duplo was a strange little beast. Clocking in at only around 15 minutes of playtime, it's a game wherein the protagonist (whose name escapes me atm) lives in a sucky town in a sucky world where people are jerks to him - and then finds a hat that, when put on, transfers him to a version of that same world where people are actually nice to him and respect him!

My translation of this one actually got a decent bit further than the one of the other games I named. My main issue were the colloquialisms it used, which I could much more easily push through now.

If I had more spare time, I'd actually finish it - but while this game is only slightly edgy by today's standards, I still feel like there's not really a demand for "Duplo" to be brought to the English language.

Exercice de Style

This one hurts to admit as my great, big failure. For many reasons!

Those of you who have read some of my Patreon posts about An Outcry's story will know that I have a fondness for the French Oulipo, a kind of writer's association (founded in the 1960s) whose main philosophy is the use of intricate restrictions in order to focus the potency of a written work.

Well, one writer under that umbrella was Raymond Queneau! And he wrote a short book called "Style Exercises", in which he told the same, simple story of a man having an argument on a bus in several different writing and narration styles.

And in ~2009, the Oniromancie forums, as instructed by Exaheva, did the same with RPG Maker 2003.

The "vanilla" story is really simple: You're a plucky RPG hero living in a house with your mum and your sister, when, ALAS! A slime attacks a girl outside! You kill it, and the day is saved.

And along this game's 15 variations, this story would be turned on its head, and retold in several interesting fashions. There's one told from the perspective of a slime's family; One where everyone is a featureless cube; one where the entire thing is an action-RPG on the overworld rather than turn-based one; a dystopian sci-fi one; one made BY Mortis Ghost and one made in the STYLE of OFF - hell, even one that's just a visual novel!

"That's so interesting!", I hear you say. "I want to play that!" Well...

The reason I didn't finish my translation of this one is unfortunately, multifold.

A lot of the text in these 15 game-variations is hard-coded - or rather, hard-printed onto assets. Translating that means translating and editing a staggering amount of image assets without interfering with their size or dimensions, which is a nightmarish edge to walk on.

Some of these have really not aged gracefully - specifically the VN-variation I felt was really ill-conceived and had a incestual ending (????????)

A few of these game variations are VERY buggy. Specifcally the one Mortis Ghost had a strong hand in - the "abstract horror" one - has a glitch where the walls cease to function, and generally-speaking, the game deals very badly with finishing one of the variations and returning to the scene-selection screen. I don't... want to scour through code that I didn't make to fix all of that. Straight-up.

Now, do I suggest you check this game out? Sure, if you can find it. I'm purposefully not providing a download link here because I'm unsure where Mortis or the other contributors stand with this often silly and sometimes ugly thing, but I do think it's absolutely worth being checked out for people who love weird and obscure RPG Maker 2003 titles.

imo, it's worth it alone for the surreal horror piece that Mortis created with the story. It's a little silly, and you can tell it's not taking itself 100% seriously, but somehow it manages to be genuinely disquieting at the same time.

[persephoneflowerpetals]

Hey!!! I hope you’re doing well :) I feel like you’ve been feeling a bit down recently I dunno I could be wrong and you’re just busy but either way I hope your week starts to get better soon!! I just wanted to drop by and check on you and make sure you’re all okay!! Ik you’re probably busy as hell but keep up the good work!! You’re doing good :D!! I’m proud of you!! <3

Hi! Oh my goodness thank you so much!!! I seriously appreciate you sending this!!! This made me very happy!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I genuinely didn’t think anyone would notice, but at the same time I haven’t been as active on here as I usually am so I guess it is a little obvious lol. I was honestly thinking about making a post talking about this but yeah. You’re correct on that. I’ve been struggling with my mental health recently, mainly my anxiety.

It’s really weird because I’ve been doing fine life-wise. I mean, we had a tropical storm come in last week, but it didn’t really affect me or my family or anything and it’s long gone now. It’s been pretty sunny recently lol. But like, back in April I was still working in retail and I had that car crash where my car got totaled and I had to look for a new car AND a new job (which worked out in the end because now I have a nice new car and a great job that isn’t as stressful for me), but ever since I woke up from a creepy nightmare last week, I’ve just been really anxious and on edge. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and been having more eventful dreams and occasional nightmares. So I’ve been more tired than usual and feeling off. Idk I guess it subconsciously triggered some hidden pent up anxiety or something. Similar thing happened to me in high school before I was diagnosed with anxiety but it was A LOT worse because I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I did so I had a hard time coping.

Anyways, I was trying to stay offline for a while so I wouldn’t trigger any anxiety because I felt like every little thing would make me anxious. I’ve also felt too anxious and tired and uninspired to write or post, so that’s another reason why I haven’t been active. I’ve just been trying to focus on myself and my life right now, trying to find some help now that I actually have decent insurance lmao and just trying to focus on things that will keep me calm for the time being.

I will say that I’ve been doing a little better. Like yesterday and today I haven’t felt as anxious and I haven’t really had any nightmares. Just eventful dreams lol. I even got the inspiration to work a little bit on the next chapter of ‘Til Death (I’m kinda stuck on writing a scene for it so I’ve had a bit of writers block with that lol) last night so that’s progress I guess lol.

But like I said, I really really appreciate this ask! It means a lot to me that you guys care about me that much ❤️. Hopefully I’ll be back to my normal self soon and I’ll be back to posting my silly Hades and Persephone stuff lol

[babacontainsmultitudes]

always always thinking about your post that was like “normal has a very high threshold for being loved that is nearly impossible to meet and he will do *anything* to feel validated” and then today in the discord during the part where willy reveals it could’ve been either normal or scary, will said “willy fucked up normal would burn the entire world down for the tiniest crumb of validation” and just. screaming screaming forever about this boy’s inability to ever feel loved enough, he is every webweaving post about always devouring and never feeling full from love, this boy is RAVENOUS and it’s hard to understand how the oak good-boy morality can even supersede that, he has every trait imaginable to become a villain and it feels like the only thing preventing that is the desire to be good, bc tbh I don’t think he wants to be good more than he wants to be loved

SORRY FOR TAKING ALMOST TWO FUCKING WEEKS TO ANSWER THIS ANON!

Eheh, firstly *thank you* because this message is very sweet and made me extremely happy. The post you’re talking about took a good while to write and came with a lot of anxiety so it’s very nice to hear that you’ve kept fragments of it with you, I really do appreciate that!!! 💜

I’d debated for a bit on answering this privately to be honest with you, as not every fire I’ve sparked is one whose flames I wish to fan, so to speak, but everything you wrote is just so on-point and well-articulated that I couldn’t resist. Otherwise. *Ahem*. I know it's very very silly to respond to a response about an essay with what is essentially another essay, but you see, in thinking of how to answer your message, I got a little caught amongst many other things that have been on my mind... And I've seen some takes that have annoyed me for one reason or another and couldn't decide how to address those and. Well. Ultimately I decided that the stuff I wanted to talk about was connected *enough* to the stuff brought up in your message (as well as in my original post) that I could put it all together, soooooooo if you'll entertain me rambling once more~

Let's start by saying that, I recently saw a take going around stating that “Scary’s internal issues caused her external issues while Normal’s external issues caused his internal issues” (among a number of other statements that I frankly found pretty questionable), and I must say, for reasons that I hope to explain, I disagree with this assertion on both accounts!

In Scary’s case, this statement completely erases and undermines the trauma of her dad walking out, and what that does not only to her confidence and sense of self-worth, but to her relationship with her mother as well. And the degree of the impact of this external trauma on her internal view towards and treatment of herself is clear as day just by looking at the stark contrast between Terri and Scary. Scary (Terri) is someone who once had confidence in herself and could find validation and motivation internally, most recently evidenced by Terri's words of encouragement to Scary whilst under beacon of hope:

But then her dad leaves, and things get harder at home, and Scary starts to fight with her mom (her mom who she once called her best friend!!!), and she starts to feel worthless and unlovable- something that only gets worse with time as Willy alienates her from the rest of the group, case in point with this revealing exchange:  

No one’s told her they’re proud of her in a long time (sound familiar??),

her teachers at school shut her down when she tries to speak her mind or otherwise dismiss her behavior as “acting out” seemingly without any sort of intervention or attempt to actually check in with her,

[the above teen fact is from episode 31]

Only then, in response to her diminished sense of self-worth does she begin to cut herself off from the rest of the world and from her former self, most importantly quitting soccer (which we know matters a lot to her!),

and those things leave her even more vulnerable and supportless and ashamed. Not to mention all the mixed emotions she must feel when Terry walks into the picture, between actually liking him but not being able to see his love as genuine due to her relationship with her bio dad and all the frustration and shame she must feel as a result.

This is not to claim that Scary’s internal struggles do not inform a lot of what happens to her and the people around her over the run of the season- of course they do! (In fact some of the later things mentioned above are examples of that- I guess I got a bit carried away). But Scary’s major internal struggles that affect her throughout the course of the adventure are preceded by a slew of important external events that negatively affect her psyche and are in many cases out of her control. Scary’s internal struggles did not originate in a vacuum, and I absolutely would not say that they “caused” the bulk of what she has been through.

Unlike Scary, Norm’s excessive dependency on external validation to feel like he’s worth anything begins when he is very young. [Emphasis on “excessive” here, since obviously everyone requires validation from others to some degree, the point being just that this trait is so very pronounced in Normal and, as I argued a bit in the post anon is referring to, usually the most important factor informing his courses of action, superseding (but not implying the absence of) any desire to be good and help those around him. Will’s statement (the one which anon quotes) seems to corroborate this.] We know that things go so far back from Sparrow’s account in episode 17:

It’s important that this is about Normal’s kindergarten experiences too, because it tells us that Normal’s predominant internal issues go back farther than this and hence were not caused in and of themselves by his peers- instead being perhaps more fundamental to who he is as a person.

This is not to say that external events do not exacerbate the state of Normal’s psyche. In his youth most notably, we can infer that he interpreted Hero’s treatment (which of course he did not understand at the time to be her training) as favoritism, and I think it’s pretty clear by this point that his resentment of her is tied to the degradation of self-esteem that he experienced as a result.

Then of course there is the dance. Sparrow’s words to Normal during the dance obviously consist of a very pivotal moment for Norm within the context of the season, but I think it’s important to remember and not erase the fact that Normal’s internal issues with validation do not begin at the dance, as established in the kindergarten case but also further exemplified by Norm’s primary motive in becoming the school’s mascot in the first place (to get everybody to like him). I think it’s important to remember this in part since it informs so much of Normal’s reaction to what his father has to say, immediately afterwards but also throughout the whole rest of the season. No kid wants to hear that their parent isn’t proud of them, but the severity of the response to this sort of statement is going to vary drastically depending on the person, and in Norm’s case, given his natural disposition, it’s devastating. [and I swear there’s a teen talk moment where Will says basically this but I can’t find it for the life of me rn damn it lol maybe I’ll edit in the clip later if I do]

Of course in this specific case, one can still mostly say that the problem stems from outside of Normal, and that his preexisting issues exacerbate his response but are definitely not the cause of it. Outside of this instance, however, this is not always true! In fact, Normal’s excessive dependency on external validation and related rejection sensitivity (negatively) inform a large amount of his interactions with those around him, particularly Lincoln and Taylor (imagine me underlining “Taylor” several times as I say this). Truthfully that’s a whole ramble on its own, but with respect to more recent events, I have to admit that I was genuinely quite irked to find a lot of people blaming Taylor and Lincoln for Norm’s response to their uh. mech shenanigans in episode 37, choosing to frame this as an act of moral failing or even malice on their part, rather than a reflection of Normal’s own issues and room for growth. Lincoln and Taylor were simply focused on the mission at hand, and there was no good reason realistically speaking to have expected them to be aware of Normal’s emotional state at that point in time (or in general, to be aware of the jealousy their bonding moments evoke within Norm- particularly when Normal consistently fails to communicate and address those emotions with them in a manner that is direct and not passive-aggressive). Lincoln in particular is very clearly stated as not even having fun in that moment, very understandably being focused instead on the fact that his friend Scary is around his father, who he just witnessed, you know, murder someone. This is not an instance of the world going against Norm for no good reason other than to put him through it, this is a very clear example of Normal’s internal issues affecting the way he perceives external events in a manner that is not actually very reflective of the reality of the situation, and which of course feeds in further to his cycle of self-loathing (and I won’t go into it here since I sort of did in the post anon is responding to- but Normal’s negative reaction to Lincoln breaking the pick to gain Scary’s trust is another important example of this [tbh all the more so now coupled with the hypocrisy of how he handles the anchor in Goofs but that’s a tangent]). As aforementioned, Norm also struggles a good chunk of the time to actually explain his feelings in a manner that is direct and does not rely on blaming others for not picking up on his dejection, as exemplified in how this discussion goes with Lincoln in the most recent episode:

The treatment from fandom of this whole instance being reflective of a reoccurring issue I tend to have with a large chunk of the fandom, wherein the collective memory of canon tends towards getting warped to account for Norm’s mental state. Sometimes that’s hailing him as some morally-perfect, emotional reincarnate of Henry (as though the pride layer didn’t happen, as though Goofs didn’t happen, as though all of Norm’s relationship with Taylor isn’t what it is- …I feel like I should stop implying stuff about the significance Taylor and Norm’s relationship and not elaborating but it really is an essay in and of itself LOL), other times it’s just downright turning everyone around Normal into a villain, a persistent phenomenon which I sort of illustrated in the above example but also touched upon in an earlier essay (arguing that despite the fandom’s quick jump to villainize him- Lincoln breaking the guitar pick would prove to be an act of love). Sparrow also takes a good brunt of the damage from this. Sparrow saying he’s not proud of Normal gets turned into Sparrow not loving Normal (despite an abundance of proof in canon to the contrary), his apology for what he said and the support he shows for Norm in light of his alternative plan on dealing with the Doodler are completely ignored by most of the fandom, as are any other demonstrations of emotional availability and shows of growth that he displays throughout the course of the season, and the true motives behind Sparrow’s insistence on Normal living a “normal” life- to protect him from the childhood that he but also that Hero had to undergo- is somehow framed as Sparrow actually holding some kind of favoritism for Hero. It’s as though there is a complete inability on a larger scale within the fandom to see Sparrow as separate character outside of the filter of Norm’s emotions, and the other teens (including Hermie) get a similar if less pronounced treatment.

[Actually, I would argue that to some degree all of the kiddads except Terry (and Lark since he’s not officially a dad) tend to be perceived and criticized predominantly through the noise of their respective child’s emotions/behavior. In Grant’s case, Lincoln 1. spends a good part of the earlier half of the season asserting that his dads are the best dads in the world despite everything going on and 2. has a very unfortunate tendency to compartmentalize and push down his negative emotions as much as possible- in typical Wilson fashion- so the complexity and severity of Lincoln’s issues with his dad generally go understated, and only now that Lincoln has begun to be more vocal and upfront about his issues has some of Grant’s parenting finally begun to come under fire, and even then mostly only his more recent transgressions. In Taylor’s case, Taylor’s emotional security/stability and general fondness for his dad mean that Nicky is being hailed by many people as “the best dad” where in fact Nicky- while certainly helping the teens out in many ways and perhaps even acting as a friend to them- has done just about jack shit for Taylor as a *father*, and really if Taylor has anyone to thank for being as well-adjusted as he is now, it’s definitely his mom! But I digress.]

Normal and Scary are very similar, but the way fandom treats them is very different. People (mostly) seem to be able to acknowledge that Scary, in spite of her mistakes and flaws, is a scared, tired kid with a good heart who is capable and deserving of love. In Normal’s case, I just can’t seem to shake the impression that the fandom (in general) would rather strip Norm of all the things that make his character complex, and nuanced, and flawed, reducing him to an utterly uninteresting husk of a character before depicting him as anything other than a perfect goody-two-shoes who has never hurt anybody in his entire life or daring to acknowledge the fact that “Normal has been through a lot, is hurt, and deserves a good support system and emotional validation” and “Normal can at many times be his own worst enemy, sometimes makes mistakes that affect those around him, and has room to grow emotionally” are notions that can and should coexist. Or at least, that's my two cents on the matter.

[ryncorrect]

The Ssum 2 is actually... not that bad?

It has been 14-ish days since The Ssum: Love From Today (or The Ssum Season 2 if we must) was released. We were introduced to a new character named June, a blonde cutie pie that looks kinda sad (?) and fragile (?) and reminds me of Yoosung from the very first picture release. His voice and the way he talks even gives off Yoosung vibe even more. The spoiler stated, “He has ties to someone from Mystic Messenger,” and I was like, OKAY YOOSUNG????? Or perhaps a little far off, RIKA????? Then bam it’s actually—welp if you haven’t played it yet then I’ll let you find it out yourself lol

The revelation received mixed reaction from “wtf” to “WTF??” and I gotta admit I was one of them who was like,,,,, why,,,,, but it didn’t get to make me stop playing June route because:

- The writing in this season actually gets better

Teo route was boring af (spoiler alert?) boi kept doing part time jobs, we got two couple fights that didn’t even make sense, and somehow he ended up getting involved in a cult like ??????? I know they were trying to build a slow pacing relationship that lasted 200 days and added many “realistic” things but fam this aint it. And don’t get me started with the waiting time in between his chats, like 20+ minutes to wait for him climbing a hill, in a bed time chat? Nah fuk u man

Harry route.... god I hate don’t like it very much because 1) he doesn’t make it easy for me at all, 2) some of MC options in the chat are either gold-diggerish, or very jealous, or mean, or ignorant, and I don’t wanna be that kinda person

Don’t get me wrong, Teo and Harry are good characters and their designs are cool but the storytelling... is really all over the place

Since the writer from Cheritz’s previous games including Mysme is making a comeback in this season for June, playing his route now I can really see the difference. June started off falling in love instantly for MC and in only like 5 days I found out he has terminal disease. Nice. Tragic and angsty and very Mysme of you, June

BUT other than that, the conversation flows nicely, not too short and too long, the waiting time is reasonable, and I love how we get to talk about the planets thing in the chat; MC telling June to write in Gratitude Diary, June telling MC that he likes to read stuffs in Root of Desire, Piu-Piu advising us to look around the planets as we wait for June. It makes a huge difference for me. The whole meeting-a-fateful-stranger-in-some-random-app concept feels more realistic, and those planets are now part of the story and not just there to... exist. Though, it does make me wonder if June has this battery thing going on for him too, and if that’s why he doesn’t call us as often as Teo used to (but I’m still on day 10 and he’s currently trying to recover his health, so perhaps he probably just doesn’t get the energy and time to call us often lolol)

AND I KINDA LIKE PIU-PIU HERE. It feels... useful and friendly now. Piu-Piu in Teo route feels like a mean sassy bird and Piu-Piu in Harry route is just weird and likes to invade people’s privacy

- June having ties with Mysme character

Yes, this is also another reason I keep playing. Finding out that this new lovable character has a relationship with one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite games? I’m sold. I don’t care if this is just some way of Cheritz to get Mysme players into The Ssum. They have the right to do so—I mean it’s their game??? Some people are also saying that Cheritz should just release another contents for Mysme rather than doing this with The Ssum, and I think that’s valid. But Mysme has been running for years already, and keeping an otome game around for this long must be very hard. Releasing another content for Mysme means that Cheritz must gather their old writers, old artists, and old voice actors and perhaps they don’t have the resources to do so

Ofc this reason might not be true and Cherits just simply doesn’t want to work on Mysme anymore, and that’s their decision I’d like to respect

Also, if Teo and Harry made me miss Mysme because of their poor writing, June here actually makes me want to play Mysme again because he’s related to ***** and it’s fun being able to see ***** from different perspective

Moreover I’d rather be a gf of June who has half-brother (oops) from Mysme than being Zen’s ex. Wtf was that

And who knows? Maybe we will get another chara who’s related to V next????? Idk tho it might be too much of a stretch but I’m not gonna complain lol

- Cheritz is trying their very best

Them using AI art is wrong, and they have addressed that issue so I won’t repeat it here. I just wanna acknowledge their effort in making a game we would enjoy. They're pretty fast in handling and responding to our complaints, they still give us some battery freebies in the game so people who can't afford batteries or subscription can save them to play, and tbh you don't have to purchase every paid option in the chat too (I know I don't). Some players also share the paid pictures online, so you can decide to pay just for the pictures you wanna keep. We have a friendly and helpful community ;_;

The subscription price is still too much for many players and I myself can’t afford it every month because I have a family to feed, but I try to understand that in the end Cheritz is still an independent company that has to make profit. They have to pay rent, their employees, and people who work with them. I encourage people who can afford to keep supporting them, and those who can’t, I’m sure Cheritz appreciates our support and feedback just as much!

In conclusion, I just love them and I hope they keep up with the hard work

I want to say much more tbh but I’m kinda tired so now I’ll get back to work—while waiting for June for our lunch chat