Please if you can, hear me out.
Dissociative Disorders (DDs) and Trauma related disorders are losing favor in the psychiatric field. Many treatment centers that treated for DDs or Trauma Treatment have been shut down.
The Finding Solid Ground program is the top leading research in the Dissociative Disorder field currently. They occasionally have studies you can apply for and they genuinely want to help via research. You can help by signing up for their mailing list to participate in their studies on DDs, link is provided near the end of this post.
People with DDs are being diagnosed now as Bipolar and/or Schizophrenic, I know because I was misdiagnosed about 3 times, telling me I was delusional and had Bipolar AND schizophrenia
It never occurred to them to ask whether the voices I heard were on the outside or the inside of my head. I spent my teen years in absolute turbulence and after being misdiagnosed, I was put on a VERY strong anti-psychotic that for 6 months, I became narcoleptic and developed permanent TD and RLS.
Because of my BPD diagnosis, I also faced medical discrimination and mistreatment because Doctors will take one look at a BPD diagnosis and immediately assume you are lying.
It also seems very on trend lately to disbelieve RAMCOA/TBMC survivors. Some things Ive seen on here and Reddit have been wholly devastating to read that people who suffered from RAMCOA were just merely "manipulated" and suggesting that those who experienced horrific tortures are simply "gaslit" and "delusional"
You can apply for studies here they are currently just putting people on email notifications for when studies open up.
These disorders are real. RAMCOA is real-- people just don't want to believe how cruel human beings can be to each other. It's denial of reality. We are not delusional. You should believe RAMCOA survivors because we have seen the depravity, and the fact we are surviving means: we've seen it, lived it, and are trying to continue our lives despite what we faced. And now we're being called liars.
This program is not exclusive to RAMCOA it is for dissociative disorders all together.
Please donate if you can, if you cannot, reblogs are appreciated. Spread the word. We are not delusional, we have mental illness that little understand.
^ this link leads to the Finding Solid Ground project and is informative and provides resources such as the PITQ-p, the workbooks, and more all found through this.
We are survivors. We are more than what happened to us.
We deserve to heal.
******This is NOT aimed at Endos, Tulpas, or those who "willed" their system into being. This is for dissociative disorders*******
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lmfao thinking on the mbti stuff it's really fuckin funny cause like,, ppl wanna insist intp and infp are practically functional opposites, because one consults a logical framework however personal to make decisions, weighing options and their possible consequences, while infp consults personal thoughts feelings and emotions to form a moral and emotionally gratifying decision. and sure!! on paper these sound very functionally different. in practice for me tho?? less so!! bc ofc I try to make the most logical decision, but are possible thoughts, feelings, and moral interpretations completely unworthy of consideration when making a logical decision?? no. very much the opposite.
(full rant and reasoning under the cut here :3)
because neurochemistry begs to reason that feelings stem from biological necessities of some sort, and can therefore inform more personal decisions equally or even more reliably than some frameworks of "logic". to try to completely sterilize logic of all emotion is to deny the merit of biochemistry, and in deeply personal situations in which the consequences are less material and external than they are emotional and therefore physical, this is an exercise in futility at its finest. after all, in cases of toxic relationships, perhaps "logically" it would make sense to stay with a toxic partner, because on paper they seem to bring more good than bad.
perhaps they're talented with finances, have a well paying stable job, give frequent gifts and praise, and are loyal and don't keep secrets. but, perhaps by that same token, they're uncommunicative or cold in their mannerisms, they don't seem to adequately communicate care or tenderness, they have irksome habits that make it hard to live together, and perhaps they have a temper that makes them argumentative and unsympathetic.
by some frameworks of logic, perhaps you should stick it out to see if these troublesome feelings based issues can be resolved. however, with interpersonal relationships, these things are highly subjective to how this person makes you feel on a day to day basis. if you generally feel these issues are small and fixable, then by all means, sure. a toxic relationship has the potential to improve, sure. however, if you feel fundamentally as though your communication styles are incompatible and you don't feel loved the way you know you ought to feel loved in a relationship, feel respected the way you should be, and you don't feel as though communications can improve, then despite ample reason to stay, that's plenty adequate reason to leave.
even if it seems "crazy" or "illogical" to leave such a "good" partner, if you feel it isn't working, then it isn't working. you can't force it to. that, I feel, is the well roundedly logical answer. to consider feelings as a logical variable. not of course THE logical variable to decide all others, but one in many with its merits not unlike any other.
moral questions are the same. these are much more complex, as humans are only that, and feelings inform logic and legality (ESPECIALLY LEGALITY) much more than "cold, hard facts" types are often willing to admit, but that makes it much more important to consider all sides to a moral dilemma before decisive action is taken. harm reduction (punishment) and positive impact (rehabilitation/community care) are sometimes pitted against each other as opposite consequences of moral decisions, but a well roundedly logical solution (if one Can be reasonably found and enacted) should keep both solidly at the forefront of its decisive reasoning.
compromises should be made where necessary, and as many variables should be considered as possible, as humans are complex and societies are built on relationships, systems, and inherently personal goals and agendas, even and especially in groups and teams. to imply otherwise is naivety. to simplistically imply inherent selfishness and lack of morality on all ends is laziness. humans are complex creatures, and the only sort of logic that exists to us is also something invented, something felt as much as it can be observed (for there is no truly unbiased observation; everyone can only see from their own individual perspective).
for these reasons, I feel to be a true "thinking" type, one absolutely must be wary of emotion, yes, as it is subject to subconscious, environmental, and chemical sway, but one must absolutely never disregard emotion entirely. One cannot cleanly compartmentalize all of human experience into "emotional" and "logical", because they will always, always feed into one another. there is logical merit in tenderness, in kindness, in working towards a world in which man thrives, logic and emotion intertwined in symbiotic harmony. there is logical merit in art, expression, and feeling. to imply otherwise is baselessly cruel, and cruelty, as one may observe interpersonally and historically, is a cheap and self destructive means to survival that ultimately hurts the whole and therefore hurts the individual.
there is no human damage that can be isolated in its entirety. there is no war that is waged purely by the few and felt only by the few. there is no suffering of the many that will not threaten the few. there is no society built on violence and fear that does not eventually fall. nothing is built to last forever, but terror least of all.
thx for coming to my ted talk this has been your local intp who's incREDIBLY HORRENDOUSLY sick both of "feelings are always logical and right" and "logic is always unfeeling and therefore 'good' " pathways of thinking. please for the love of FUCK get it together. literally. get your fragmented theoretic boondoggling and put it all together. please stop trying to completely separate out and reject parts of the human experience PLEASE INTEGRATE IT ALL INTO ONE COMPREHENSIVE WORLD VIEW PLS
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OTP ask 😉 ! Krisnix: 10, 14, 30, 39, 42 ; Estelanor: 2, 5, 18, 30, 51 please?
So I ended up splitting this up into two different posts, because I ended up rambling a good bit. The Krisnix was already done. And I am putting the EoA OT3 beneath the read more.
(It is rather lengthy and I didn't want to scandalize the EoA fandom too much with my unhinged thoughts about a "problematic" OT3 ship that (probably) no one else has ever thought about before or since. So here goes...
Esteban/Elena/Victor
2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?
Of the three of them, Victor is the least likely to have "nightmares" in the traditional sense (i.e. one the evoke fear and/or anxiety), but it isn't too uncommon for him to have dreams that make him sad. Mainly dreaming about the happy days early in his marriage with Ash--when Carla was still small and they were a proper family. Or he'll dream about being cast out of Avalor with his family shortly after the invasion and being unable to return for over four decades. Or he'll dream of the other two during the Dark Times™ and wake up feeling melancholy that Elena was isolated in the amulet and Esteban under Shuriki's thumb for forty-one years. Victor can't help but feel a little guilty and sad that he wasn't there to keep the others safe or even just provide a little humor--and even guiltier when he remembers that he spent decades feeling jealous of Elena and resentful towards Esteban, so its unlikely that the selfish person that he was then would've done anything different if he'd had the chance.
Even though he is least likely to have nightmares himself, Victor is probably the best at calming either of the others down if they have nightmares. (He does after all have practice doing so with Carla). He will carefully stroke the hair off the sweaty brow(s) in question and quietly croon the same lullaby that he used to sing Carla to sleep with. He doesn't have Elena's vocal talents, but his singing voice is soft and gentle and the words of the song are reassuring. And it's usually only a matter of time before the others drift back off to sleep.
Unsurprisingly, Elena has nightmares A LOT. Most often, she dreams of her parents wrapped up in Shuriki's green smoke or the dark, cold silence of her amulet prison. But occasionally, other dreams creep in. Shuriki victorious and making Elena watch as every one of her family and friends are killed in front of her with her powerless to stop it. Orizaba blotting out the sun for good and all Avalor being trapped in the dark. Elena's emotion magic failing to revive Esteban after he teleported in front of Cahu's sand grain for her--even though she has forgiven him even if only in the dream.
She is also, however, pretty good at comforting the others when they have nightmares. Without fail, the first thing she will do is use the "glow" spell on the scepter to bring some light back into the room. (This is particularly effective when Esteban is the one who has had the bad dream, as he does not handle waking up in the dark and afraid very well). She speaks very calmly and very slowly--and asks first before offering consoling cuddles. (Again, Esteban does not always want to be touched depending on the dream he's had and what sort of mental place he's in after it). Sometimes, she will use her scepter again--specifically the "illusion" or "truesight" to bring a up a vision of something calming and comforting.
(It is worth nothing that I do headcanon Elena and Esteban have a bit of a strong psychic link due to their crystal well connection. So I think one or both might be able to "sense" the other having had a particularly bad dream. And on the nights where they are apart from each other, they will not let distance stop them from comforting each other. Elena can and will wake up one of the Guardians to fly her whenever Esteban is. Esteban will reach for his staff and teleport to Elena's side. And after they do this, they make a point to "check in" on Victor as well to see how he is doing/make sure he feels included).
Esteban, meanwhile, has the most frequent nightmares of the three. Shuriki and the Dark Times™ is naturally the most frequent source and subject of his dreams. Esteban is forced to recall the horrendous things that she did to Esteban's family, his country, and to Esteban himself. And more than that the things that she made him do that horrified and disgusted him and broke him in ways that he did not even know that he could be broken. It's almost a relief when he has a nightmare that does not concern Shuriki in some way and instead focuses on one of the other frightening times from his life--those times when he dreams of his parents ship going down, of Elena and Luisa disowning him, of Ash and Zopilote inevitably realizing that they could just kill him to drain Takaina's magic out of him and into themselves, of Cahu turning his abuelos to stone and Esteban not being able to teleport in front of Elena before the same fate befell her.
As he is usually the one (though not always the only one) who needs be comforted after a nightmare as opposed to doing the comforting, he has the least amount of practice at post-nightmare calming. Nevertheless, he has a few go-to strategies. He will usually teleport to the kitchen and back and come back with a jug of water, a few glasses, and some wash cloths on a tray. He will pour a some water into a cup and hand it over to the person(s) who had the nightmare(s). He'll also dampen the wash cloth with the cool water and then trace smooth, sinuous patterns with it across forehead(s) and the back of their neck(s). He'll also encourage the other(s) to count to ten and back with him, while also leading them into slow, deep relaxing breaths until they calm down.
5. Describe their cozy night in.
(I'm basing this primarily on the scenario of my w.i.p. where Esteban has moved out of the palace into a house of his own and most of the OT3 times happen at his new home--to avoid scandalizing the rest of the Flores family or putting Carla in a weird spot).
Victor cooks dinner for the other two, but Esteban retains custody and control of the pepper shaker so that Victor doesn't go overboard with the seasonings yet again. Elena is only allowed to help with gathering ingredients, chopping vegetables and setting the table, etc. because otherwise she is a kitchen disaster (also Esteban and Victor still feel a bit weird about ordering their queen around even if they know she's always happy to help.) After dinner, they sit around and have a quiet evening together. Victor has been promising for awhile to teach Elena how to play (i.e. cheat at) poker--much to Esteban's discomfort--and how to throw knives --much to Esteban's even greater discomfort, so they will often go into the other room and be chaotic, while Esteban works on paper work by the fire. (I tend to headcanon that post-canon redeemed Esteban either stays on as Naomi's assistant chancellor, takes over the bookkeeping and inventory for Luisa's chocolate shop, or does both--so either way there is always a lot of paperwork for him to do. ) When they're each done for the night with their little side projects, Esteban, Victor, and Elena regroup. Usually, there will be guitar playing (Esteban and Elena canonically play, and Victor probably knows how to as well) and singing and/or dancing. Other times, one of them (usually Esteban) will read aloud to the others from the latest popular novel.
When they start to get tired (but not too tired...if you catch my drift), they make their way into the massive bed in the bedroom and... [redacted].
18. How likely are they to have fur babies? How many and what kind?
I am assuming that "fur babies" refers to pets and not like an omegaverse situation, lol. This is actually an interesting thought as like...I'm not even 100% sure that cats and dogs exist in Avalor. I'm pretty sure they do given that there are some in Sofia the First and the little dog sculptures that come to life in the Valentina episode. But like...apparently, jaguars are extinct in the Sofia-verse, according to sunbird oracle and I don't think we see regular cats or dogs again at any other point, unless I am forgetting something. So like...it's possible that they don't????
But I'm just going to assume that cats and dogs do exist even if we don't see them.
Something about Esteban just screams "has allergies" to me, but I'm not sure I can put my finger on what exactly. Other than just me projecting onto him even more than I already do. But even if he does have allergies, it's very possible that the crystal well cured him of this, so that he can enjoy the furry darlings in peace.
I would say that Victor has dog energy, Esteban has cat energy (if he's only just now gotten over his allergies), and Elena has both. Assuming the royal household doesn't already have cats and dogs, they will probably soon acquire some for maximum cuddles.
I would like to think that Victor and Carla will get a dog at some point. It was a probably a tough and resilient stray from the wrong side of the tracks--not unlike the Delgados themselves. Victor probably wasn't too sure about it at first, but honestly, he can never say no to Carla and it's not exactly an unpleasant thing to agree to. There will inevitably be puppies at some point, because the thought never occurred to Victor to get the dog neutered once they agreed to take it in (And if the thought did occur to him, he probably would've resisted anyway because "why should we deprive the dog of one of life's greatest joys.") Victor and Carla will probably keep one of the puppies, and Elena who fell in love with the puppers at first sight will probably keep at least one more for herself (and the rest of the royal family)--and they'll make sure that the others go to good families.
Another thought that I had is that perhaps Elena uncovered an illegal magical animal trafficking ring in Avalor and put a stop to it. And maybe one of the animals that they discovered was a jaquin--specifically one that has been raised in captivity and/or had its wings or claws damaged in some way. They probably originally intended to return it to Vallestrella to live with the other jaquins, but it was eventually determined that due to its special circumstances, the poor thing might not survive out there on its own (even if under the protection of the other jaquins), so it actually makes more sense for it to live in the royal palace. Elena takes excellent care of her new "pet that isn't exactly a pet" and makes sure that it can socialize with Skylar and the other Guardians--as well as with the royal family and friends.
30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other’s outfits; what is each wearing?
Victor and Elena are both very into Esteban's little adventure outfit (God, they're so me-) --with the three whole buttons undone on his shirt, no jacket or cravat, the scarf belt wrapped around his waist and those sinfully tight trousers. So, the two of them (ganging up on Esteban as a group as they often do) are often able to persuade him into their outfit of choice. And unless there is a particular reason for Esteban to dress more formally, he can usually be persuaded. It's nice that he's able to dress more casually now than before, and he knows how good this looks on him.
(On a related note, Victor absolutely *hates* Esteban's yellow jacket that he wears for formal court functions. And so he does have a long-standing fantasy of asking Esteban to wear it to bed one of these nights so that Victor and Elena can literally rip it off him and tear the hated thing to shreds. But Victor hasn't acted on this impulse. Yet.)
Victor is also very into Elena's little adventure outfit with the tunic and ye olde skinny jeans. This is slightly for thirsty reasons. (He doesn't really get to admire her very nice legs when they're hidden beneath her skirts, but he can when she wears trousers.) But he is also aware that Elena is more comfortable in this kind of outfit than in her more usual "queenly" attire. Also a more casual look suits her very impulsive, headstrong and easily-distracted personality. Far easier for her to climb a tree on a whim this way. And Victor loves seeing Elena at her most "Elena," and she's very comfortable in her skin in this outfit . (Victor has not yet had the privilege of seeing Elena in her skintight fencing gear yet, or he would have a new favorite. And this would be entirely for the thirsty reasons. No one could ever say Victor Delgado is a saint. Not even close.)
Esteban, meanwhile, likes seeing Elena dressed like the queen that she is. The finest of gowns, the most extravagant of jewels. All should see her and be instantly struck by her beauty, her radiance, her goodness, her majesty in any and every sense of the word. Every Avaloran citizen's heart should swell with awe and pride as they clasp eyes yet again on the greatest queen in all the Ever Realm. Of Elena's canon outfits, I would say that Esteban's favorite is probably the red ballgown that she wears for official court functions throughout the show (and the one that her face character wears in the Disney parks). Red is after all, Elena's signature color--just as it is Esteban's own--and it is a very flattering one on her indeed. He would probably try to get Elena to accessorize the dress a bit more than she usually does. (A necklace that matches her crown, a jeweled broach at the center of her belt, rings on every finger, etc) though I can't say that he would be super successful.
Victor's only has two canon outfits and neither of them are particularly great. (The Dracula-core malvago cape is certainly memorable but not particularly flattering or the kind of thing that Esteban or Elena would care to see him again). So I am going to let Esteban and Elena find something new and better for him. Victor won't mind. He's always liked the finer things (too much for his own good), and he's delighted to be the "sugar. baby" for two royals who have very refined and expensive taste (Esteban) and love to spoil their loved ones (Elena).
Essentially, I think they would look for a more flattering and more upscale version of his "regular" canon outfit. Shirt with waistcoat, trousers and cravat. Elena and Esteban will make sure that Victor has his share of jackets too, but unless there's a particular reason why Victor needs to wear one (weather or a formal occasion), I think they'd prefer he go sans jacket with just the shirt and waistcoat. Victor is rather broad-shouldered and from the little we can see through his jacket, he seems to have some nice biceps on him too, so it would be nice to have something that will show off his arms a little better.
Based on my initial impression, green ( to match his eyes) and black would probably be the most flattering colors for Victor. And given that we see him wear these colors in his "regular" outfit, we can presume that Victor likes them reasonably well. So I think Esteban and Elena would probably focus on a lot on these shades when adding new pieces to their novio's wardrobe.
I think that they would particularly look for a patterned waistcoat, like the kind we often see in the Georgian and Victorian time periods (or even like Julio Guzman's Magister of Trade vest on the show itself). Nothing too over-the-top mind, but given that Victor is a rather flamboyant person in general, I think he deserves something a little flashier and more ornate now that he can. Preferably ones in green, black, or both is kind of the vibe I think they should strive for. A few examples below:
I also think Victor is confident enough to pull off a black blouse with his waistcoat. He's a retired thief and an ex-malvago, so he definitely has more-than-a-bit of a "bad boy" edge to him and that would be reflected in his wardrobe. I also think Elena and Esteban would probably find that very attractive (even if Esteban would never admit it). So they make sure that he has a black shirt or two in addition to the basic whites. And neither of them complains too much if Victor desides to forgo the cravat entirely and leave the top few buttons his black blouse undone beneath his waistcoat.
51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?
Well, Elena canonically has her emotion magic, so literally all she would need to do is *feel* a profound sense of love for either of the others and her dress would turn pink and they would all know what was meant. That being said, she is very open and affectionate in general, so she is constantly telling the others verbally or through little gestures how much she cares about them. I feel like physical touch is her primary love language considering how physically affectionate we see her with her family and friends throughout the show. So, she is constantly reaching for the others' hands, kissing their cheeks, placing a hand on their shoulders, booping noses, etc. Victor naturally responds to this right away as he also a very physically affectionate person. It takes a bit more getting used from Esteban (even platonically, it was a lot), because he's naturally more reserved and because he's profoundly touch-starved (to the point of being overwhelmed when he first started getting more physical contact from people he likes). But now he thrives on it.
Victor shows his affection for the others in a lot of a different ways, most of them somewhat casual. He uses pet names for the others a lot. (Esteban has gone from "El Segundo" (derogatory) to "mi/nuestro El Segundo" (affectionate) to Victor. Meanwhile, Victor calls Elena "mi reina" ("my queen") and "jaquinita" ("little (female) jaquin")--which is just so cute I could scream.
Additionally, cooking with or for the people he cares about (see also: Carla) has always been a big thing with Victor. So he would constantly be doing things like trying to learn how to make various foreign dishes (ex: ramen or sushi from Satu, souvlaki from Corinthia) that the other mentioned trying/enjoying on foreign diplomatic visits. Or making (over-peppered but otherwise very tasty) soup whenever the others are feeling sick.
He also spends a good bit of time trying to make the others laugh--especially Esteban because his laughter is so comparatively rare (and therefore so much more precious). Cue Victor telling the worst fucking jokes you've ever heard to try to get the others to chuckle. (Elena thinks Victor is genuinely hilarious because her sense of humor is just as bad). He also is known to play particularly imaginative pranks (including ones on himself) to try and get the others' attention. Esteban is frequently just rolling his eyes at Victor, but there is a very amused twinkle in them when he does so.
Esteban's love language is a combination of acts of service, little gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch that is perhaps best described as noticing and remembering things. This is partly due to the fact that "noticing and remembering" everything was quite literally his job as chancellor for over four decades. But another major factor is that Esteban spent most of his childhood wanting and waiting to be noticed and remembered himself, so he's especially sensitive to wanting to make sure that his partners feel seen and valued.
He never needs to be reminded about birthdays, anniversaries, holidays coming up. He is always on top of things and has been making careful plans for weeks (if not months). He will, however, very carefully and gently remind the others about the upcoming important date if he fears that they have forgotten. (They often need the reminder. Elena in particular).
And not even just the "big" things. He'll remember a book that Victor casually mentioned and then go search for it so that he can read it too and discuss it with him. He'll remember that Elena can sometimes get anxious whenever she has to make a big speech in front of crowds, so he adds a little note to the top of her scroll that says something like "You've got this, prima. It is a wonderful speech, and I know you will deliver it well. But even if by some bizarre chance it does not go well, I am still extremely proud of you and grow prouder every day." And of course, this is just the little pep talk Elena needs.
He notices Victor moving his head more carefully and rubbing his neck. Cue Esteban drawing him a warm bath and offering to massage Victor's tired back and shoulders until he feels better. He's not *consciously* tracking Elena's "courses," (that would be a bit too creepy and invasive for them both), but he is nevertheless mindful of the subtle changes in Elena's mood and health as any given month goes on. So he is nevertheless ready with a box of Abuela's chocolate, ye olde warming pad, and ye olde ibuprofen before Elena even asks for it.
Basically, Esteban is just always paying attention and always looking for a million quiet little ways that he can make his dos queridos ( and all of the rest of his family and friends to be fair) feel cherished and noticed in every way.
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