#finally stopping and thinking that hey
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"I'm startin' ta realize theres no use runnin' anymore. I'l ne'er not be a monsta. I'll ne'er change th' past. But maybe I'll be soft 'nuff ta love."
#bjarne sleipnir#oc#my art#my oc#art#drawing#digital art#Just a little thing I did of bjarne because the man has been going through a bunch of emotions really fast and hard#so since I've been struggling to write how hes feeling#I thought id just draw it#mashing the big santa cat with the creature that embodies his guilt shame and grief#at least he is making progress at this moment#finally stopping and thinking that hey#instead of hiding and not talking about my past#I should accept the horrible shit I did#the horrible shit I lived through#and finally view it as something that cannot be changed and as a fundamental to his being as a whole#in a very sad#desperate attempt at inner peace#he is far from that#he just has realized that he should probably accept it#he is still struggling on figuring out how to accept himself#maybe he should set up some long term goals#jk he'd never fuckin do that lol
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Red
#fen'harel#solas#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#my art#I missed drawing with textures#I'm playing something completely different now#but I still can't stop thinking about dragon age#even though we still don't know when new game will finally come out#but hey i can still draw fanart at least
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note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game
okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh
anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending
edit: part two
#2024#isat two coins au#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#on technicality#isat#in stars and time#this was also an excuse to play with mira's hair again bc i wanna see her in braids so bad! with beads that click clack as she walks!#hairier isabeau... oh merciful neptune oh sweet aphrodite i thibk i hauve covid#also none of these outfits are like... definitive. i'm indecisive so i want everybody to have a wardrobe#LOOP'S HAT IS NOT SIFFRIN'S BTW they prioritized hiding from siffrin over finding where it landed oop that thing is GONE gone#that coin attached to the tip of that hat is also not siffrin's... but siffrin doesnt know that...#also hey yall ever think about how loop can kinda turn their light out and maybe be invisible? i do#anyway this au is also loop/siffrin/isabeau just fyi... also maybe the tiniest of shoutouts to loop/odile if i'm feeling cheeky#also also also... loop still uses they/them but there will be more feminine terms used for them in this au ;u;#baby finally started seeing themself as a person again and is reevaluating their gender#people around where they've been frequently traveling call them miss lu or some call them lady#eventually when the polycule is complete i want siffrin and isabeau to both call loop ''my lady'' bc the thought just makes me melt#you don't /need/ to know that but i'm telling you#okay i've been trying to articulate my thoughts in the tags for half an hour so i'll stop now...#have a good day/night i love you mwah mwah mwah
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ok yeah yeah voltron in 2023 what else is new
#this one is just for the tumblr girlies#voltron#vld#keith kogane#lance mcclain#klance#when vld was big i was still really not confident in my art#in hs and all that#so sometimes when i remember something that i liked a long time ago that i felt like i couldnt draw for#i think hey#why not give my past self a treat#so yeah this is for 2016 me or whenever vld started#you can finally draw them now clap clap#maybe just do yourself a favor and stop after s3
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HEY GUYS!!! HOW ARE YOU ALL??? I MIGHT JUST BE BACK!!!
I wanted to incorporate a more 2000s anime looking style into my art style, {a mash up of the two} and this little portrait was exactly that! This made me so happy I literally almost teared up!!!
Anyway, for those following my rant blog I am going to make fanart of Takuru, just you wait 😤
IM SO HAPPY O M G
#Hey GUYS HRUUUUU????#ITS BEEN A BIT BUT I THINK IM FINALLY READY TO START DRAWING AGAIN#drawing what I wanted here is what made my day#I seriously haven’t felt like this in a bit#I am so sorry it’s not as close to my other art style#I value consistency and so it always scares me when my art changes 😅#Anyway I AM SO HAPPY WITH THIS IM ABOUT TO CRY#okay Void we get it can you stop screaming#art#final fantasy 7#ff7 rebirth#cloud strife#voids art#void’s new art style???
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my neutral dragon age trait is that 50% of the time i'm like "the more i critique the games, the more i love them. i can appreciate each game for what they are but my criticism and frustration over what they could be are a sign of love" and the other 50% is like "this is the writing of the dragon age series. sure. why not. this may as well happen."
#post inspired by seeing a post where someone was asking a blog like 'hey ive only played veilguard what is a mage circle'#50% biting the bars of my cage over the way lore/plot/priorities have shifted and changed over time#50% along for the ride#but on that first point: looking at the plot of veilguard (stopping solas/elgar'nan and ghilan'nain)#im not surprised the mage/templar shit wasn't a big deal#and honestly any frustration i have with that is more so aimed at dai#bc dai was what first reduced the mage/templar war to 'here are some assholes fighting in the woods'#however.#objectively WILD that someone could play ur whole ass game and not know what mage circles/templars are#and then the confusion over an elven rook's backstory is honestly just laughable to me like akjdsjkdf#theyre dalish but they also lived in a town and if they're a mage they also studied somewhere#like. honestly imo not a big issue but like. a simple dialogue choice could've solved this.#it's so funny to me bc it's ridiculous but also. bring back ambient dialogue choices.#like tldr though#i super enjoyed veilguard and i appreciated it for what it did#and while not perfect. i'm a sucker for a story about friends and bonds.#and i think as an interpersonal story it works really well#and i can at the very least respect the writers/devs making the game not as open world#even though i do miss that a lot (as well as talking to ur companions mechanics)#however. the detachment from previous lore is definitely jarring.#not that i think veilguard needed to be about (for instance) the mages and templars#and honestly im happy we got companions that felt unique#bc i was getting real tired of 'here are the elves who hate each other. here is the one who doesnt trust mages'#etc etc etc#and getting to see all these factions was really nice too (though in a perfect world we'd have a legit origin quest imo)#but even just. some kind of way to bring in prev lore#tldr 2 i have my frustrations with the narrative arc as a whole and find them fun to talk abt#but sometimes im just like. it already happened. it's already written.#i will think abt what could've been while also just having fun w/ what i got#final tldr 3 i think dragon age is just the one series that im not always itching to meta essay on LMAOOO
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OH NO HOLD ON!!!!! NO ACTUALLY!!!! Sunday is the first good example of "everyone should lose their freewill so no one will feel pain anymore"!!!! We did it!!!! We fucking reached the impossible!!! Who thought it would ever happen!!! Really tho I would prefer this course of action to STOP happening with these kind of characters, but I'm blown away by the fact that with Sunday it's actually a believable course of action that he has a clearly defined thought process on reaching as what he believes his the "right choice". He doesn't want to remove any free will, he wants people to be in a place where they don't have to work, or think about self-worth, or try to survive as someone weak. He genuinely wants happiness for everyone and not to do something like remove all emotions. He's just, ya know, going about this by putting everyone in a never-ending dream, but it's actually written good!!! Let's fucking gooooo!!!
#i had to sift through a lot of story and dialogue and i stopped to complain before we finally got here#so really i shoulda jusy shut up the whole time. we get there when we get there i suppose#but hey! we made it! im not mad anymore! we got to the good dialogue!#rejoice! the villain's motives are well written actually!!!!!#'living a life of dignity -- this is what it is to live in bliss' hey. that fuckin got me.#thank you sunday. thank you for being so high empathy for genuinely truly wanting best with good intentions#and not just being a fraud or thinking bliss isnt real or possible#now he really better be support cuz i wanna pull him even more now#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers
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if cliché bad, why grey restraining tim from following lucy into the o.r. after spotting her being pushed in on a gurney so, so good????
#*carly catalogs#..... i'll shut up now#(actually no i won't) cause imagine tim finally caving into his emotions and breaking down in tears in gry's arms#ooohhohohoho i know it's extra cheesy but what is life without cheese anyway??????#i'm just picturing grey holding him back like 'hey hey hey bradford! stop! you can't be with her right now!'#omg and it would parallel so well with the time boden held kelly back from seeing shay after she got that first head injury#ya know from that one time her and gabby got crashed into while in the back of the ambulance#okay okay i swear i'll shut up about putting lucy in the hospital again#....... until i think of the next thing in a few minutes/hours/weeks/months whenever really#the rookie#sergeant grey#wade grey#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well
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Sometimes I remember that my whole house was so obsessed with the show Merlin, that we named the first tree we planted in the yard Merlin.
When it was given to us 11 years ago it was hardly a scraggly stick, and now it looks like a giant bush
Artist rendition
#this is the first year it has like!! actual bark!!!#only the middle/ main trunk#I’m so emotional over this tree you guys don’t even know#he won’t stop growing branches on the bottom#so he just looks like a huge bush when leafed out#then another tree we planted the same year looks like a Maple Tree TM#I love all the trees in my yard#every day when it’s warm enough I tell them all they’re doing a great jobs#and one who burnt during a really hot summer didn’t grow for YEARS#but we didn’t give up on it#no sir#we cut off the burnt limb#we kept telling it that it was doing great#and last year!!! it finally started growing new twigs!!#it grew more than like 5 leaves!!!#and this year so far there’s already a LOT of growth!!!!!!#and one tree I got from a childhood best friend like 5 years ago has absolutely taken off#like holy hell#the tree was a sapling from the tree from her backyard#it was my favourite tree growing up#it’s were we were kids together#guys no you don’t get it#we slowly fell out of friendship and then years later she texted me#‘hey you know that one tree you used to love? do you want a sapling from jt otherwise my mom is throwing it in compost.’#‘she thinks you don’t care about this tree anymore but I know you do’#*sobs*#Spoofy tambles
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[4]
THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE REACTION. I ALSO WASN’T EXPECTING THIS WHOLE STAB THING
AND USUALLY THE FIGHTS GO ON A LOT LONGER
And that aside, the things that Kurogane and Fai must be feeling at seeing this happen? At finally finally connecting with their new son and learning all about him, and what he’s done, and forgiving him, and defending him, and being on his side - and letting him go and fight his own battle and SEE HIM ALMOST IMMEDIATELY GET STABBED RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST
After they had just promised Mokona that they would all make it back ok? And after they had taunted Evil Wolverine to try and bring him into the fight?
Meanwhile Evil Wolverine was only ever stalling with Fai and Kurogane while his winning move was Syaoran alone.
NOT A PLEASANT FEELING, I MUST ASSUME.
OH MY GOD OK SO THE NEXT PAGE IS UNDER A READ MORE 100%
JESUS OK
I’m almost sure they wouldn’t actually do this but IT SURE DOES LOOK LIKE LAVA LAMP’S HEAD IS MISSING IN THAT MIDDLE PANEL THERE
I’M SURE THAT WOULDN’T ACTUALLY HAPPEN (in Tsubasa at least) AND YET EITHER WAY THAT SURE WAS ABOUT AS BAD A SWORD WOUND YOU COULD PROBABLY GET FROM AN ALL POWERFUL EVIL CLONE TRYING TO KILL YOU
AND NOW EVEN KUROGANE IS YELLING IN BOLD AS THE DADS TRY TO GET TO HIM IN TIME
WELL
W E L L
#Hey remember when i stopped doing the bandaid edit thing#I don’t even think I even said anything about it#I was just internally like ‘hey its the finale now#People probably know what to expect from this’#SUDDENLY I AM LESS CONFIDENT IN MY CHOICES#Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#Vol 208#Tsubasa#Kurogane#Fai#Syaoran#Lava Lamp Guy#Syaoran vs Syaoran#AND UH#AND BAD DEVELOPMENTS#OH MY GOD KUROGANE#KUROGANE WATCHING ONCE AGAIN AS A LOVED ONE IS STABBED#DIRECTLY CAUSED BY EVIL WOLVERINE#AND ONCE AGAIN HE CAN’T PHYSICALLY STOP IT#AND ONCE AGAIN HE’S TOO LATE#AND ONCE AGAIN NONE OF HIS STRENGTH MATTERED
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i only watched the charcadet poketoon on a whim cuz i had nothing to do but what the hell dude thats sghrcoded
#pokemon#kieran#im so sorry. this is actually so dire#i cant NOT make everything about sghr. im so sorry#shy timid friend who gets left behind by the stronger one#sees their friend in everything and drives them to ultimately change#becomes stronger themself to be able to finally challenge their old friend#loses but hey man malicious aura that got removed upon defeat#phd in delulu🔥#on another note i think its so funny that the trainer was like 3 steps away from finding the shiny#the definition of 99% of gamblers stop right before they hit it big#also every single person in mesagoza not registering that ceruledge is a shiny. accurate. its impossible to tell.#i crode ngl
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ive had this ramble bubbling under the surface since watching the first 2 eps of t8s, but talking to @heesulovebot and @bengiyo ‘s posts have finally managed to organise my thoughts, about why this feels so queer and un-bl, and i think it’s because, even though unspoken, the characters recognise this as queer too. i can think of so many countless bl’s where things don’t start out gay, be it enemies to lovers or friends to lovers or characters not knowing what their feelings are or ignoring them or rejecting them, no matter what it is, it’s like the gayness is slowly eeked out. but this show, in the simplest way, makes it gay from the start, by showing us the beginnings of a relationship, a meeting and a first introduction and a getting to know each other, that is really very basic. one of the things i hear a lot when people dismiss same sex chemistry in shows unless it’s stated, like when people are arguing for the inferred same sex relationship, is “if this was a man and a woman, would you think it’s romantic?”, and so often an answer is yes bc we’re still stuck in this mindset of seeing opposite sex interactions as inherently romantic, while same sex interactions as inherently friendly. you can take any number of jihyun’s and jaewon’s interactions, their first exchange outside the bar, exchanging names, jaewon wanting to go to the restaurant to see jihyun, jihyun joining the club to get closer to jaewon, the sharing earbuds, the buying food, the keeping him out the smoke, the list goes on of big to tiny details that if it were a man and a woman, anyone would read it as romantic, and yet no one in the show yet recognises it as that or voices it. and that’s what is so good and so queer about this story. bc queerness can often hide in plain sight, as long as the two at the center of it recognise it as what it is. they know this isn’t just friendly, and yet they can use this veil of male friendship to disguise all the blatant flirting they do. THAT. IS SO. QUEER. heck, how many times are queer relationships referred to as some take on a ‘special friendship’. its how we hide in plain sight. it’s how we can brush hands and shower together and sit together round a camp fire at night with music being sung and look fondly into each other’s eyes and yet no one else in that circle is none the wiser. its how we, as an audience, know this is queer, not bc of the label put on the show, but bc of how our characters act. whether they know how they feel or not at this point, the way they act, and how those actions portray those feelings, let’s us in. queer media is kind of like a secret language like that, a whole thing you have to know how to speak so that you can understand the intricacies of what’s being said. and untangling and decoding the meaning of the word friend is one of those things specific to the queer experience, which makes the use of it here absolute genius.
#i finally wrote a thing#I’ve been waiting for the brainrot to boil over#and tonight is the tipping point apparently#I am just so stuck on this show it’s ridiculous#like I had to write this to stop myself from watching those 2 eps for the 6th time bc I’m that insane#and I don’t think my rambles can even do justice to the wonderful way this show is crafted#and I honestly can’t even figure out how they create and communicate this vibe that’s so identifyibly queer and yet nothing is screaming at#you in the face hey this is queer#like I’m just shook#the eighth sense
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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I'm sorry but what I said about consent to sexual content in any form is actually fucking basic human decency. Just because it's done for the funnies doesn't make it okay. For the love of god figure out what the person's boundaries are and make sure you know for a fact they're okay with it. If you don't have a definitive yes don't do it. < not to you obviously. It's just upsetting man I also wanted to say the bunnies you sent me today made me squeal with delight... your painting skills are wonderful and I want to answer it so BAD but I lost my fucking clarks. I accidentally deleted the layer they were on and my undo button on goes back like 10 times and I didn't notice until wayyy later... lost media... fml
Our shared layer… and our lost clarks
#I’ll send the full final tomorrow#the summer bunnies look like ass rn because I forgot to add blue to my take home pallet and can’t finish it before adv tomorrow#so they’ll be done for the critique when it’s due. but not before#my spring bunnies are my favorite :3 I like how they came out#also. about the. thing.#it’s. I forgot that I can ask people to stop. which is weird#frankly I don’t think I should have to#but either way. like. it’s probably weird and not normal that I got used to being ignored when telling the anon to stop#but I think it fucked over a little bit of my boundary setting (<bad at it already) so I’m pretty used to just letting people do whatever#I’m not even a doormat I’m a really old tapestry that fell over and became a rug#but hey! I just remembered that people might actually listen when I tell them to stop now! smile
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Ik that the season might be over but my brainrot definitely isn't so I thought about who will start for Germany next season and I- help
Because it's quite obvious that Andi and Hille will start (unless they get injured which I hope they don't dare) and seeing that Pius became a lot better by the end of the current season, I'm pretty sure that he will also make the team.
Which leaves us with several of really talented jumpers for the last two spots: Consti, Eisei, Stephan and Karle
And I'm very much hoping for a Eisei comeback (I mean he ended on pretty solid results in the CoC) and I dont even think it would be that unlikely that he gets included once again.
Which would mean that there is only one spot left and this season Karl did get two individual podiums (victories too) in Klingenthal while Stephan only came in third in Ruka once this season (again individual podiums).
I think you can see where I'm going with this.
The decision might be between Karl and Stephan, especially if Eisei is coming back-
#i think Karl would be the one being prefered because he is more likely to win#?#like he won more often than Stephan did in his career#but I want to see Stephan too#and also Eisei#and also Consti#but he doesn't really have the stability rn#but what if#they even prefer Felix or Luca or Martin#i mean good for them#but I also wanna see my faves#I should really stop thinking about#ski jumping#but hey I might be able to finally watch a competition live this year!#that would be so cool#its probably gonna be Klingenthal#even though I would hope for Willingen#but hey#I'm happy with anything I can get#ski jumping season 23/24#or actually#sj season 24/25#that looks hella weird#the brainrot is real
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on another note i fucking hate my theater director. lol
.
#we were having fun sweeping the stage and singing that annoying song where it's like “99 bottles of beer on the wall” or whatever#and it was really great! and after a 4 hour set build i think we all needed something like that#and i was quietly singing along while the freshman were screaming it lol#(it should be noted that said theater director was not in the room for any of this. nor was she present for like. most of the set build.#-ok.)#and understandably some people got (more jokingly) annoyed and finally she came in and told the freshman to stop#at this point i was under the impression that we had swept the stage a lot. because we had. but also a lot of people had gone home so we#-didn't have a ton of people there helping#and this fucking bitch decided to SCREAM at the freshman when they said hey what if we did that every time we swept! because it was fun to#-sing while we worked! (we had also been singing christmas songs for no reason lol)#and my theater director shrieked YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO SING IF THE STAGE IS SWEPT CLEAN ENOUGH FOR ME TO EAT OFF OF IT. AND IM NOT SEEING#-THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!!#and . once again. she was not. in the room. for the majority of set build or us singing while we swept.#and we cleaned up a LOT. but there was some dust left over because NO FUCKING SHIT IT'S A FUCKING THEATER. AND WE ARE BUILDING STUFF ON THE#-STAGE CONSTANTLY. IT'S GOING TO BE DUSTY REGARDLESS OF WHAT WE DO. WHY THE FUCK IS SHE SO AGAINST US SINGING IN A FUCKING MUSICAL THEATER#-PROGRAM!!! BITCH THERE WAS NO REASON TO SCREAM AT THE FRESHMAN!!!! FUCK THIS BULLSHIT#sorry i am mad and also i cried after she did that. not in front of her but in the car.#bee.txt
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