#fight cellulite

[alilaro]

the barbie movie should be state-sanctioned mandatory viewing

[createacamillahect]

camilla hect perfect cellulite

[aestheticaltcow]

The Aftermath

Carmy left- he just left? Where the heck was he? Was he even alive? Your anxiety almost gets the best of you.

The Bear Masterlist

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MDNI 18+

You groaned as you stretched, trying to crack your back. You’d been cleaning all afternoon, Carmy was still MIA, and this was the one thing you knew would distract you enough not to storm into The Bear demanding to know where your husband had been last night. You hopped up on the counter and grabbed your phone from the charger. A knot formed in the back of your throat when you saw a text from Carmy displayed on your lock screen.

Sorry about last night, baby.

On my way home.

“Okay. Fuck you, Carmy. At least you’re alive.” you mumbled to yourself before hopping down from the counter and going down the hallway to your bedroom. You knew the two of you would have a screaming match when he got home; you rolled your eyes at the thought. He was usually predictable; this running away from home debacle threw you for a loop. Since the fighting was inevitable, you opted to take care of yourself a little bit at least, and an everything-shower seemed like the move.

Pregnancy was hard; you were in a constant state of nausea, you were exhausted, you had almost daily migraines toward the end, and, oh boy… hormones were interesting. You gained a decent amount of weight, but loved how you looked. Carrying Mia made every body insecurity you had vanish. You felt powerful as she grew in your womb, and the feelings were only amplified by the way Carmy would caress your stomach at night when he’d get home from work. He’d pepper kisses across your stomach and talk to Mia as he helped you rub shea butter in an attempt to prevent stretch marks. You laughed about it now as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Cellulite, stretch marks, loose skin, and a c-section scar decorated your body. All those insecurities you’d thought vanished returned as soon as you showered for the first time post-partum. You didn’t want anyone to see you, especially Carmy. 

You’d always been so secure in your relationship with Carmy. Something ignited within you when you saw him sitting at the bar by himself the night the two of you met. He was sexy and aloof. You had turned to your friend and told her, ‘I’m gonna marry that guy,’ and cocked your head in Carmy’s direction. She gave you a nod of approval, and you were off. He was shy and confused about why the prettiest girl in the bar would want to talk to some loner drinking a ginger ale instead of one of the guys coming up to her throughout the night. After months of casual hookups or late-night lounging around his apartment, Carmy found the courage to take you out on an actual date. After that, you declared he was your boyfriend. He admitted to being in love with you and was overjoyed when you returned the sentiment. Carmy was your knight in shining armor. You knew he was in your corner if you ever had a problem or needed to talk about something. It was you and him against the world, and it only amplified when he proposed to you. The two of you had a small wedding on the beach and decided to travel for a few months. When the two of you started dating, Carmy recounted tales from his time in culinary school- you were shocked that the man had lived in Frances for years but hadn’t explored the city beyond his campus or the restaurants he worked at. Exploring Europe together felt like a dream; it was everything you’d wanted to do with him. The two of you hadn’t planned on having kids, but after a couple of years of living as a married couple and buying your home, it felt like a natural progression to just ‘see what would happen’ if you got off of your birth control.

Now you stood in the shower while your mother took care of your baby and your bitch of a husband hid at work. You sighed and exited the shower, wrapping your hair in a towel and tying your bathrobe at the waist. You checked your phone to see no new messages from Carmy and that Natalie had left you on read.

As you blow-dried your hair, you couldn’t shake the thoughts of Carmy doing something dumb last night. You knew he’d never cheat on you, but the curiosity about where he’d gone was killing you. You took your time blowing out your hair and doing your skincare routine. As you brushed your teeth, you heard the front door open. “Hey… I’m home.” Carmy’s voice called through the house. Your stomach twisted at the sound. You took a deep breath and quickly put on deodorant before walking out of the bathroom in a pair of fresh pajamas. After contemplating jumping out the window to avoid this conversation from happening, you cautiously exited the bedroom. You went down the hallway to see Carmy washing his hands in the kitchen.

“Hey.” you grinned, rubbing your arm nervously. Carmy inhaled sharply before closing the distance between the two of you. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, feeling the stress of the day melt away as he took in the scent of your conditioner. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left like that,” he spoke into your hair. You sighed and hesitantly hugged him; he rubbed circles into your back and wished to go back in time and change what had happened. 

“Where were you? You’ve never done something like that before- I thought you were dead or something Carmy.” Carmy tucked your head under his chin and contemplated what he should say. He knew he’d have to come clean eventually but wanted to relish in this moment.

“I just drove around and went to work early.” he lied, hoping you’d not push it further. Natalie had ripped him a new one when he’d confessed the details of his indiscretion. She ranted about how she’d feel if Pete had treated her like that; she’d kick his ass to the curb. “You realize she’s gonna leave your ass, right? You absolutely can not sleep at my house- Carmen Anthony Berzatto, you’re no better than Dad.” before he could respond, Natalie threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t come clean to you about what happened. Carmy wanted to tell you, but being compared to his father was something he hadn’t expected Natalie to say. He didn’t know the guy that well, but he knew a little about the cheating. He didn’t have a second family or kids outside his marriage with Donna, but he saw the hurt it put her through and vowed never to be like the man. Now he stood in his kitchen holding his wife- the love of his fucking life, lying about his whereabouts from the night before. Yeah, he didn’t get past third base, but would he have gone all the way if he had gotten hard? Would you constitute this as cheating? Would you leave him and keep Mia from him? He pushed the thoughts back and pressed his nose into your hair. He took in the scent of your conditioner, just in case this was the last time.

You pulled away from the hug and nodded, “Okay. I trust you, but never do something like that again. You scared the crap out of me.” 

Carmy and you sat at the dining room table that night and talked about your insecurities postpartum and that while you were medically cleared to have sex, you were nervous about the actual act. He nodded, and you felt vindicated. You kissed his cheek and headed into the kitchen to order dinner. Carmy grinned and fished his phone out of his pocket. He deleted his text chain with Selena and quickly blocked her number before you came back to ask if he had any preferences for dinner. Carmy shook his head, “Whatever you want, baby.”

The two of you ate dinner in the living room and watched the newest cheesy romcom on Netflix. Carmy sat back and took in the moment. It was like when the two of you had started dating. You’d always had some kind of freelance video editing job or some other creative endeavor that gave you a good amount of flexibility in your schedule. No matter how late he’d get off, you were always down to come over, watch a movie, eat takeout, or whatever new recipe he was trying to perfect. You explained that quality time was your main language, so as long as you were together, you were happy doing whatever with him. 

As the movie continued, you’d put your head on Carmy’s chest and held onto his waist. He had an arm around your shoulder- he stunk of his usual kitchen smells and smoke, but there was another scent you couldn’t quite place. “I should probably shower if you wanna cuddle, baby.” he laughed as you pushed a hand under the hem of his T-shirt. Carmy had long forgotten about the hickey that decorated his collarbone. You hummed in disagreement, “Your BO is comforting Carm…” 

Carmy laughed and kissed the top of your head. Carmy tapped your shoulder as the movie ended, signaling he wanted to get off the couch: “I need a shower, baby.” He shifted in his seat, and you looked up at him. “Kiss me?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes. Carmy swallowed and hurriedly nodded as he gently placed his lips on yours. You smiled into the kiss as the taste of tobacco and spearmint flooded your tastebuds. You removed your hand from under Carmy’s shirt and put it on his cheek. Carmy wasn’t sure where to put his hands. This felt like a 180 from the previous day, confusing and excited him.

You threw a leg over Carmy’s hips to straddle him as the kiss turned more passionate. Carmy’s hands found your hips; his touch felt like electricity shooting through your body in the best way. You pulled away from the kiss, gently pulling Carmy’s bottom lip between your teeth, eliciting a deep throaty moan from him. You ran your hands down Carmy’s chest. He closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of your nails tickling his skin through the material of his shirt. “Still need me, baby?” you asked, leaning in to kiss Carmy’s jaw. “Still need to be inside of me?” you said as you trailed kisses up his jaw toward his earlobe. You felt his cock harden beneath you as you rolled your hips against him. Carmy’s grip on your hips tightened at the sensation, “Please, baby.” he whined. You giggled at his response and slowly swirled your tongue around Carmy’s earlobe before leaning back on his thighs. Carmy leaned back into the couch. His eyes were dark with lust as you reached for the hem of your shirt, quickly discarding it. 

Carmy’s eyes widened at the sight of your bare breasts, “Fuckin’ hell, baby.” he muttered. You bit your lip as Carmy stared at you, “Can-can I-” Carmy began to stutter before you cut him off by bringing one of his hands to your chest. “Fuck.” Carmy laughed as he snaked an arm around your waist to bring you closer. You giggled as Carmy massaged your breast in his large, calloused hand, “Baby- fuck, you’re so sexy.” 

You moaned softly as Carmy gently pushed you back onto the couch before trailing delicate kisses down your stomach to the top of your pajama shorts. As eager as he was to remove them, he still felt like he was dreaming. Your eyes met and you nodded, Carmy bit his lip holding back a groan. He swiftly yanked the soft cotton material down your legs to reveal your lack of panties. He smirked as he spread your legs wider and stared down at your core like a starved animal. 

“Carmy?” you asked softly, “Do you want me to stop?” he responded, hoping you would say ‘no.’ You shook your head, “Be gentle?” you whispered. Carmy nodded, “Of course, baby. Say, stop, and I will…” 

Carmy put your legs over his shoulders and nuzzled his face between your thighs, placing delicate kisses against your folds. Your legs shook as he ran his tongue up to your clit, “Mmm,” you hummed as he took your clit between his lips. “Oooh,” you moaned as Carmy slowly pushed his index finger into your entrance. Your reaction only fueled Carmy’s desire to please you. As your juices flooded his tastebuds, you bucked your hips up against his mouth, making him moan against your clit.

“I need you,” you whined, pulling at Carmy’s hair. Reluctantly, he pulled his mouth away from your heat. “What do you need me to do, baby?” Carmy teased. You giggled as he moved to hover above your body. You pulled at the hem of his T-shirt, wanting to feel his skin against yours. 

Carmy’s body tensed. You noticed the color drain from his face, the weight of his actions from the night prior finally hitting him. “Are you okay, Carmen?” you asked as you stopped pulling at his shirt. He nodded, “Yeah-h.” 

You didn’t believe him. “You’re being weird. I don’t care that you’re gross from work. I want you.” You looked into his eyes and could sense he was hiding something from you. “I’m not being weird,” he said defensively. You shook your head, pushed up at his chest, and sat up against the arm of the couch. “You literally left last night because I didn’t want to have sex- now I want you and you’re being fuckin’ weird. Take your clothees off and fuck me.” you demanded, Carmy swallowed and sat up on the couch. He shouldn’t have let it go this far, you rolled your eyes and yanked his shirt off. 

“What the fuck is that!” you screamed when you saw the dark purple hickey decorating his collar bone, Carmy stared at you nervously. “YOU FUCKIN’ LIAR!” you screamed louder pushing yourself off the couch picking up your T-shirt from the floor. 

“Baby, I swear—I didn’t—" Carmy explained as he scrambled to his feet as you walked down the hallway toward your bedroom. Your blood boiled at the thought of Carmy fucking another woman last night while he was ‘getting air,’ “YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD CARMEN!” you screamed at the top of your lungs as you glared at him as tears started to fall from your eyes. Carmy’s face regained color and softened in reaction to your screams. 

“Y/N, it was a mistake! We didn't have sex because I couldn’t get hard-” Carmy attempted to explain the situation, and you shook your head in response. “That’s fuckin’ bullshit! Get out!” you screamed through your tears.

Carmy dropped to his knees and reached out for your hand. You slapped it away and ignored his begs to hear him out and let him explain what had happened. “No. No. I don’t want to- that’s why you wanted to fuckin’ shower so bad, right?! Didn’t want to fuck your wife with your dirty fuckin’ cock you fucking liar!” you screamed as you attempted to pull your wedding ring off of your finger. When it wouldn’t budge, you screamed in frustration and slammed the bedroom door. 

Carmy fell back and brought his knees to his chest, the weight of his actions truly hitting him when you had tried to take off your wedding ring. He really had ruined his marriage. Carmy heard your sobs through the door as he got up, “Y/N- it was a mistake. I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much-” 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE CARMEN! I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

~

Tag List

@namjoons-crabssss @sl-ut @thottae @cuddlehye @prurose @1184p @chaoticfanficfanx @ok-boke @literatureluster @bxtchopolis @americanprometheuss @buckystwilight @earth-elemental18 @thebearlily @siren-melodies @thel0v3hashira143 @innercreationflower @unpoqu1todetodo @thehouseofevangelista

[xyfanficarchive]

Laios x Fat Reader HCs (reader of nonspecified gender with boobs and pussy)

18+ 😈

First of all. It's been said but. Fat is totally his type. real and factual and canon 100% i stake my life on it

i mean, he's not that superficial. Laios will fall for someone's personality and not their body. but trust, if he's walking down the street and someone attractive catches his attention so much so that all he can do is think "waow.... theyre really hot......" and stare (and he will stare, unsubtly and without shame, like, he'll turn his head as he passes you by and then trip over his own feet or walk into a lamppost or smth) then that person guaranteed has a lil more fat on their body

if youre uncomfotable with your body..... get comfortable. he's a handsy lover. he wants to touch you and feel you. and he's not shy about loving the way you squish under his hands and in his arms

its not even necessarily an erotic thing much of the time, when he feels you up and pokes and prods you (gently) all over; it's a simple pleasure to his brain to feel the warmth and weight of your breast in his open hand, to press your tummy and pinch the fat on your hips between his thumb and fingers, just to watch the supple flesh deform under his touch and bounce back into place. he'll trace up and down your stretch marks because he likes the way the skin texture feels different there, and touch the pads of his fingers to the dimples of cellulite on your butt and thighs just to feel how your skin embraces his fingertips. he can be pretty mindless about it, his hands drifting across your body as you lie together (yes, he uses you as a stim toy)

of course if you hate this kinda treatment that much, he’ll stop. he won’t torment you. but if, say, you ask him to only touch you in ways and places that dont remind you of your fatness too much, he’ll have an intuition that its because of feelings of insecurity whether you say so or not. and it makes him so so sad because all he wants is to show you how wonderful your body is to him, how delightful it is to touch you in all your softness, how the very presence of you squished up next to him is such a comfort that its all he can do to grab at you and pull you closer and closer to him in crushing embrace- there is no part of you that is so disgusting that Laios wouldnt want to explore.

on the topic of insecurity. if youre feeling bad about the way you look, whether its just a bad image day, or if you find out that you gained some weight and have to get new clothes made from the tailor, he will reassure you. but it will not be a tactful and gentle kind of reassurance, he’s not going “noooo baby but youre still so beautiful tho 🥺.” boy is so so delighted to inform you of all the reasons why its GOOD that youre fat. he has like a whole presentation prepared and he’s talking a mile a minute about how he loves that youre not afraid to eat a full days worth of nutritious meals, and how its good to put on weight to crawl the dungeon, about the energy you expend doing all that walking and fighting and the calories it takes to get revived if you die, talking about how you can go longer in the cold before succumbing to hypothermia and longer without food before youre incapacitated by hunger, how having a thick layer of fat means your vital organs are better protected from slashing and stabbing and blunt force damage alike, getting more passionate as he goes on. and by the time your eyes are glassy and ears are fuzzy from all the knowledge he imparted upon you he grabs you by the shoulders, fingers digging into your deltoids, glowering down at you with a look of such intensity that you shrink away, he finishes his rant with a deathly seriousness: “and���.. it makes you really sexy, too..!”

and he does think youre so so fucking sexy; congratulations because it genuinely doesnt happen often! ususally he's too busy thinking about monsters and dungeon ecology and how to make his next incursion below more successful.... if you're reading to this point still somehow thinking that by "fat" i mean "exclusively chubby" then don't worry... i mean, yes he will drool over your cute little tummy pooch and your thick thighs, and he daydreams about sucking your full, round boobs - but he also starts sweating the first time he sees the way your breasts sag under your shift, he wants to taste your skin, he wants to leave bite marks on your back rolls, and side rolls, and he wants to dive in the folds of your belly, and when he sees your luscious pubic mound he gets dizzy and lightheaded because all the blood is going to his cock-

he'd happily die suffocating between your thighs

don't feel anxious about the way you smell around him - you don't, at least no more than anyone else after a long day of walking, but if you did, Laios is a known freak and he's totally into that. you'll never forget the first time you found this out; you were enjoying a simple embrace with him before washing up at the end of the day, your arms thrown around his neck as he leaned down and pressed his forehead into your shoulder, inhaling deep a few relaxed breaths before something changed, his body tense underneath you. you almost pulled away to ask what's wrong but - he grabbed you at the elbow and outright manhandled your arm to stop you from pulling away or pinning your arm to your side, and it's then that you realized to your utter mortefaction that he'd stuck his nose in the crook of your arm and was sniffing your armpit. you almost made a fuss asking him what the hell is he doing?!?! except for the fact that chilchuck was over in the corner organizing his pack and marcille was facing the wall combing out her hair in the mirror and neither of them have seemed to notice anything and you would never, never, never live it down from either of them if you were to draw their attention. but ultimately you couldn't help the way your heart softened to your big weirdo man when he finally pulled his face out of your pit, flushed red to his ears, his irises a thin golden ring around his wide dilated pupils, as he breathed out "I dunno why, but it smells so good..."

when he eats you out, he's literally huffing your pussy scent. he takes his time smelling you as he kisses his way down your thighs. and when he's buried in your folds, sometimes it's almost concerning and you think there's something wrong. is he starved for air, can he breathe down there??? (i did say he'd be happy to die there....) no. thats just how into it he is. one time you ask him what it smells like to him, thinking maybe his perception is significantly different, perhaps because of his hormonal profile or something, and he pauses to think for a moment before elaborating: "it smells like, musky and animalic... a little sweet, and kind of funky, like a little sour and salty almost like sweat, it's so great!" maybe not what you expected, but he only sounded more and more giddy about it as he went on.

he can tell roughly where you are in your cycle based on your smell. this comes far enough into your relationship that nothing can surprise you anymore.

he just loves watching you as he fucks you. the way the shockwave of each thrust ripples throughout your whole body, your tits jiggling back and forth with each gasp of pleasure, and the way it sounds so obscene with your wetness spread out over your plush thighs clicking when his hips make contact and when he pulls away. theres no time or space in your head to be self conscious when you're making those sweet uh uh uh uh sounds every time his cock bottoms out inside you. he loves to pull back and watch it happen, the way his shaft glistens with your slick between your pillowy lips, savouring the stroke of delicious pleasure shooting through his nerves as he glides back in, watching as his pubic bone meets your cushiony mons and the way you shake under it all, your body so completely open to him, he could hardly imagine a more erotic sight or a more beautiful person to share this part of him with

thats all i got for now hope u enjoyed <333

[whimsiwitchy]

𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱...

Hi everyone, welcome to my blog. Here you can find all of my work by person/character. Each fic has its description and warning under the link. Enjoy <3

Pedro Pascal

i hear the secrets that you keep

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything. Warnings: plus size afab reader, she/her pronouns, use of y/n, swearing, age gap (24/14 years), descriptions of the female body, use of the word fat, descriptions of a bigger body (stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, etc.), descriptions of nudity, sexual themes. 

Hugh Jackman

Controversially Young Girlfriend

summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.  warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns, sexual themes, fighting (verbal).

[jam3sacaster]

“You have the body of a goddess.”

(Rivals) Rupert Campbell-Black x Reader

Suggestion by my sweet @nebulastarr 🫶🏽 / It’s yours and Rupert’s first time together and you can’t help but feel insecure. He proves to you that you shouldn’t be…

18+ FANFIC / Smut-ish & SOFT Rupert. BODY CHECKING & WEIGHT MENTION! Reader character aged at 21. As always, please leave any requests in my ask box for any character/scenario 💋🫶🏽

Standing in front of your bedroom mirror, you meticulously inspect your body, and the lingerie that clads it — an exquisite set of a white lace bra and pants, with matching white stockings held up with a suspender garter belt. Typically, you would feel beautiful, sexy, unstoppable. However, you couldn’t help but scrutinise every inch of yourself. What if he hates the pouch on my stomach, the odd spot of cellulite on my thighs? What if Rupert thinks my boobs are too small, or my arse is too big? You shake your head to rid yourself of these unwanted thoughts. Grabbing your black silk robe from the tall, oak coat stand, you wrap it around yourself and wait in your en-suite. He should be home soon, and he knows what you have planned. He’ll be expecting an incredible body, but you’re not sure you have that.

It seemed like a decade until you heard the lock twist in the front door downstairs. Forever and day, as you listened for him kicking his boots off and hanging up his coat. An eternity, as he trudged up the stairs and opened the bedroom door. “Angel?” Rupert called, already unbuttoning his pressed shirt. Creaking open the door and tip-toeing out, Rupert’s jaw audibly dropped, just at the sight of you wrapped in your robe. “Well, it seems as though you’ve been expecting me.” He purred, motioning for you to come towards him. You didn’t, and watched as he threw his shirt to the ground and got started on his trousers, unzipping them and kicking them from his ankles. The sight of his ripped, tanned body, held together only by a pair of tight white boxers, was most certainly a sight to behold. “Rupert, I think we should wait a bit longer. Just a few more weeks. I just want to tone up a bit first.” You sigh, scrunching your robe tighter to your body in an attempt to cover your figure.

“Good things seldom come to those who wait.” Your boyfriend remarked with a smirk. Despite your anxiety, you couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. He, somehow, always knew what to say. “I’m just nervous. I’m not entirely thin. I have stretch marks, and cellulite, and rounded edges and just-“ You begin to continue your frantic rant but Rupert ceased it with three firm shh’s. “Are you wearing lingerie?” He questions, furrowing his brow. You nod in response. “I assume it was paid for with my card?” The interrogation continues. Eyes darting around with a small grin, you nod once more. “So let me see.” He probes.

Following orders, you slip the silk robe from your body, revealing the magnificent lingerie you had on. Rupert gawps at you, jaws dropped and eyes widened. His thumping heart pulsated in his chest, and the bulge in his tight boxers expanded instantaneously. “Darling… You have the body of a goddess.” He breathlessly muttered, taking a few steps closer to you and running his hands over the entirety of your body. His thorough inspection left not an inch of skin untouched. “Look what you’ve done to me.” Rupert inched back slightly so you could observe his growing cock fighting for release from his boxers. “Show me what you’ll do to your goddess. Show me what you think of my body.” You mumble, crawling onto your shared bed and laying on your back. “Darling, I would kiss every square inch of your body for you to see, just for a moment, how magnificent you are.” Fell from his lips so smoothly.

That was enough for you. Drawing yourself to him, you kissed him softly at first. But your yearning for each other transformed it into a slow, passionate kiss, tongues fighting for dominance in each others mouths. Rupert moved his right hand to your waist, squeezing softly and making you twitch. “Are you okay?” He asked, pulling his tongue from your mouth. “Yes. I’m just… not used to it.” You mutter, still trying to relax yourself with him seeing you in your entirety. Sticking to his promise, he began to place soft kisses — from your shoulder blades to your ankles, across the width of your stomach to your thighs, your forearm to the tips of your fingers. “The smell of you sets off something carnal within me. I need you.” Rupert growls, kneeling above you and beginning to unclip your stockings.

‘But I don’t know what else that I would give than try to kiss the skin that crawls from you, then feel your weight in arms I’d never use.’ - Hozier

[realdramalove69]

Back to back to back pregnancy part 4

9 months pregnant. Anna was finally 9 months pregnant. 41 weeks and 5 days pregnant to be exact. All she could do was lay in bed, eat, and wait for her massive brood to decide they wanted out. She was currently struggling to fit through the bathroom doorway, her belly and hips caught in the frame. Going to the bathroom was nearly impossible at this size and she hated how much Dave loved to see her so miserable. When she finally broke free she paused to catch her breath, her legs trembling from having to carry so much weight.

Unwillingly her distended middle sank onto the floor. Anna needed to arch her back further than ever to get her stomach off the ground so she could hobble the few steps from bed to toilet.

Anna looked up and saw Dave watching her, a tent in his pants, his mouth practically drooling over her fecund form. With a grunt of anger and determination she lifted her belly, her hands pushed hard into her lower back, and waddled the few steps to their bed.

Dave watched her struggle to heave her belly onto their king size bed. He had already widened their doors again but she was still struggling to squeeze through them on her own. Not that she left their room anymore, the 18 overdue babies finally rendering her basically immobile.

“Can you help me?” Anna huffed as she sat her belly on the ground again, only having to lean forward a little bit to rest it on the cool hardwood.

Dave walked over to her and leaned down in front of her, placing his hands under her firm gut. With a heave he lifted the dense ball of wriggling flesh onto the sinking mattress. Anna sighed as the weight of her babies was somewhat relieved for a moment, before they kicked her harder after the rough movement.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” Dave gasped.

“It’s your fault!” Anna cried as she struggled to get back into her seated position on the bed.

“I know, and I love it.”

Dave stopped her from getting further into the bed, his larger hands grabbing her wide hips. He pinched her far rolls, making Anna squeal.

“Dave, please,” Anna begged. “I’m so tired.”

“You’re in the perfect spot,” Dave responded. He pressed himself against her cellulite covered ass, pulling down her tight panties and moving to unbuckled his pants.

Anna groaned and tried to get onto the bed, away from her lust filled husband, but she was so tired and heavy and his fingers inside of her felt so good. She could smell the perfume in the air as Dave spritzed it onto her neck.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” Dave asked. He pushed his hand further into her tight hole.

“Yes!” Anna squeaked. She hated how good it felt to orgasm with all this weight in her.

Dave felt her shudder as she came. He smiled as he pulled his soaked hand out of her and pushed her further into her stomach, giving him ample access to her waiting pussy.

“God fill me up!” Anna cried as she felt Dave thrust into her, his thick cock hitting her g spot. “Break my water! Get these babies out of me!”

As much as he loved her being this pregnant, Dave was excited for her to give birth so he could start her in the fertility treatments. The thought of her being twice as big made him grip her stomach tighter. Anna held her triple H cup breast’s in her arms, the bouncing of them causing her to leak all over her belly.

“I’m gonna make you bigger than this room,” Dave grunted. “You’re going to give me hundreds of babies!”

“Give them to me!” Anna came again, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Dave felt her tighten around him, making him cum as well. He pressed himself tight into her, he stomach on her back, his hands rubbing her breasts and pinching her nipples.

Finally, Dave pulled out of her and helped her to sit down. He lifted her leg on the bed and helped her shift into her spot. At last Anna could lean back and catch her breath, her giant belly and breasts heaving with each one she took. She closed her eyes and rubbed her stomach, feeling the overgrown babies fighting in her womb.

“Any day now,” Anna groaned. She rubbed her stretched skin, the deep marks spiderwebbing across her belly. “They have to come soon.l

“They’re over ten pounds each now,” Dave said. “You’re eating is paying off.”

Annas stomach growled at the mention of food. After their frequent fuck sessions Dave would bring her a buffets worth of food. Her eighteen overdue babies kicked and punched her insides, constantly demanding she eat everything that was given to her. Dave loved watching her stuff herself until she was so full she couldn’t speak. Not that she was ever really full anymore.

Once back into her seated position on the bed, her belly sitting between her open legs and stretching past her feet, Dave hooked her up to the breast pumps and went to grab her lunch.

Anna grunted uncomfortably as she felt the first small contractions in her back. She wasn’t happy about any of this but she couldn’t do anything but wait to give birth now. She was scared what her next pregnancy would be like, how big would she get and how many babies would she have, how would she take care of them all when she has her other kids as well?

Dave returned with Tanya, their head nanny, and a couple other nanny’s carrying her other children. Platters of fried chicken and French fries were set on her expansive chest and the breast pumps were replaced by the mouths of hungry babies.

This was her natural state, Dave thought. How every woman should look. Fat with babies, more on her nipples, totally succumbed to being nothing but a womb for her husband. It made him instantly hard again seeing her like this, moaning and sweating as she ate, trying to shove as much food in to soothe the constantly moving babies within.

Dave walked around her, like a moon around the earth, rubbing and prodding at the babies as they stretched her skin further. Behind the mountains of her belly and boobs Dave could hear his wife moan as she inhaled the food set in front of her. He reached the front of her belly, rubbing the underside where it reached past the mattress.

Baby after baby was fed from her leaking tits and after they were full a nanny would take them to nap in the ever expanding nursery down the hall. Anna would eat the whole time, every calorie needed to keep both the babies in her belly and on her chest fat and happy.

When all the babies were fed Dave continued his exploration of his wife’s body. He heard her burp as she finished the last of her lunch. With an evil grin, he pressed into her overstretched belly button.

Anna mewled loadly as she felt her belly button being sucked on. It had been so long since she had seen, let alone touch, that far side of her own body. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as Dave took his pants off and rammed his erect cock into her outie belly button, forcing it back into the confined space of her cramped middle.

“Dave please!” Anna cried. “You’re gonna… pop.. me..”

Dave thrust into her harder, her belly button as tight as her pussy, her womb seeming to suck him in as he pounded her. He gripped the sides of her overstretched womb and thrust in her again and again, shaking her as he did to make the babies kick even harder.

“Oh god!” Dave couldn’t see his wife but her cries were louder than ever. 18 babies worth of hormones were coursing through her body making her more sensitive all over. “Dave! Please I can’t… guhh… oh god!”

Anna couldn’t deny it felt good. She tried to reach below her belly to her soaked pussy but no matter how she tried she couldn’t reach. She instead reached for her nipples, raw and sore from constantly feeding and being pumped, yet so sensitive to the touch.

“Here it comes!” Dave grunted as he pulled out of her belly button and pushed inside her before finally coming. He pulled out of her again and covered the front of her in his seed. He could hear Anna orgasming, her legs spasming as she tried desperately to shift her weight.

Dave held onto her as he finished. He kissed her belly all over, trying to soothe them and give Anna a moment of relief. He heard her groan in pain as a small contraction tightened her whole body.

“Please come out,” Anna whined. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Patience.” Dave smiled. “I’m sure they’ll be here before we know it.”

TWO WEEKS LATER

Anna cried out for her husband, her mouth full of vanilla cake and frosting, her belly filling the entirety of their king sized mattress. She was three weeks and four days overdue and she could almost feel her babies growing larger by the minute.

“Yes dear,” Dave sighed. He hated being the one having to do the chores and take care of his family; that was supposed to be the wife’s job after all. But he couldn’t deny Anna was incapable of doing more than eat and gestate at this point.

“I need them out. Today.” Anna grunted.

Dave watched as his 12 pound babies pressed dangerously through his wife’s skin. He pressed them back into her, making her moan even more as a contraction hit her.

“I need you back to taking care of this house,” Dave replied. “So yes, let’s get these babies out today.”

An animalistic urge came over Dave as he rolled his wife onto her side, revealing her fat pussy waiting for him to fill her even more. Anna groaned and cried as the weight of her babies made it even harder to breathe in this position.

Dave didn’t waste time on foreplay, instead taking his foot long dick and shoving into his once petite and slim wife. She was 24, pregnant non stop, birthing entire litters of babies all for him. He gripped her thighs tightly, squeezing the fat rolls on her and sucking in her tight womb.

Anna didn’t know if she wanted to scream from pain or pleasure as Dave filled her and pounded hard into her cervix. A contraction hit her, tightening her already tight womb and making her babies thrash even more. She could feel the first one descending lower into her birth canal.

The contractions only made Dave thrust harder as he felt his wife tighten around him. Anna grabbed one of her massive mammaries in both hands and moved her nipple to her mouth, sucking down the sweet cream and stimulating her even more. she knew nipple stimulation would make the contractions come sooner and she was more than ready to evict this brood.

Dave wanted to cum instantly but he held himself back, instead watching his wife cum again and again as the contractions began to pick up speed. After 20 minutes of this Dave moved Anna to her other side and continued to fuck her.

“Please!” Anna cried, tears running down her face as another contraction gripped her. “Please I wanna push!”

Anna beaded down, despite the baby in her pelvis not being ready to move. Dave pressed on her stomach harder, forcing the babies to move further down.

“Come… on…” Dave panted. He went faster, making Anna bounce in the bed, the frame creaking more and more until Dave finally couldn’t hold it in anymore and he came.

The force of his jizz hitting her insides made Anna low like a cow in heat. She felt her body jiggling everywhere as Dave continued to thrust as he shot ropes into her. The bed frame creaked louder before breaking, sending Anna and the king size mattress to the floor.

The force of the fall and her orgasm was enough to do it. A gush of fluid rushed from between her fat legs as her water finally broke.

“Are you ok?” Dave asked.

“They’re coming! Finally!” Anna grimaced as another contraction hit her, this one hurt more than the others.

Dave watched as his wife pushed, the first baby crowning and stretching her wide open. He shouted for the nanny’s to grab towels and blankets before turning back to his panting wife.

“Stop pushing! You’re not fully dilated yet.”

“Please, I need them outttt!!!” Anna pushed again as a contraction took over. Dave pressed on the head of the baby trying to come out, preventing it from tearing her open.

“You’re almost ready. Just wait.”

Anna was sobbing, the pain worse than any birth she’d had before. These babies were so big and there were so many of them.

After what felt like hours, Dave finally let her push, the first 12 pound baby nearly falling out of her as she screamed. Dave caught the crying girl and quickly handed it to a nanny who placed it on Anna’s chest to feed.

This was the routine as baby after baby came out of Anna. It took nearly a day and a half for her to birth all 18 babies, the last two feeding on her chest as she closed her eyes in exhaustion. They ranged in weight from 12-18 pounds, the largest being a boy, and Anna could already hear her other kids waiting outside to meet their new brothers and sisters.

Dave grabbed the sleeping babies from his wife and set them in the bassinets with the others. He sat in the bed next to her and sucked on her breasts, tasting her sweet milk for himself.

“Enjoy the next few weeks of having an empty womb,” Dave said, kissing her neck and making her moan. “Because I’m going to fill you even more this time.”

[sillysillygoofygoose]

Miguel is the type of man who loves a strong woman.

He loves a woman who will put him in his place when he deserves it. A woman who will throw the "hard to get" act right back at him. A sarcastic, sassy, but sweet woman. A woman who's not intimidated by his brooding facade. A confident woman.

A woman, not a girl.

He loves a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to effectively get her point across. An assertive, emotionally thorough, and grounded woman.

You take a deep inhale, realizing how much the situation has escalated during the past five minutes of back and forth nothings.

"Miguel, I feel like this is counterproductive. Let's just sit down and talk, okay?" Your calm, steady voice immediately eases half of the tension in the room, just like that. He shook his head in agreement, almost as if to rid of the hostile thoughts that were slowly building a crooked wall at the forefront of his mind.

"It really upsets me when you prioritize work over our relationship. I know it's important to you, but you're important to me. I just want us to have more time together. How can we compromise?" You state your feelings and hopes, laying out the option for Miguel to vocalize his as you look him right in the eye.

Miguel never realized how much his previous relationships or flings lacked solid communication until that moment. You didn't have to yell or pout to make him get the message. Your deliberate words stood just as strong as screams. No. Stronger.

The ability to stand up for yourself, what you want, and what you believe in without being purposefully disagreeable and difficult is one you possess. You can stand on your own two feet without anyone supporting you. You believe in yourself. And it's so attractive to Miguel.

Something that makes you so womanly is your ability to be gentle and caring... maternal. Being bold and strong-willed often has people leaping to the conclusion that you're a heartless bitch. But that couldn't be further from the truth. You're just authoritative. But you know how to be soft and understanding. You're a beautiful balance.

Intelligence. What could be more powerful than intelligence? Though, you're not just book smart... you're people smart. You know how to communicate, how to start and hold a conversation. So goddamn sexy...

Just as much as you know what you want in life, you know what you want in bed. Miguel is more than happy to fulfill your every command.

How he eats you out, how fast he should thrust... even how many hickies he's allowed to leave on your chest. You're playful and feisty, sex often leading to a pure fight for dominance.

But you're just so beautiful. A warm and welcoming character shielded by a powerful aura, all laid out for him. His woman.

His woman with a grown body. Hip dips, cellulite, stretch marks, with hair protecting your most feminine parts.

Miguel is not one to be scared off by broad shoulders or a strong frame because you're a woman. A grown, strong woman.

His strong woman.

Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo

*Don't get me wrong, I love a dominant Miguel making a stuttering slut out of a pretty, shy girl... buutttt I think he has a soft spot for outspoken, foxy women 🤭*

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Hey I was wondering if you were still taking requests and if you are could I get a hawks x reader nsfw? One where the reader is super stressed from starting a new job and Hawks tries and find ways to distract her? Maybe starting with flirty jokes to them ending up in bed? Or them watching a movie and not watching the movie at all because hawks again has *other* ideas...

Stress reliever

Paired: hawks x fem! Reader smut

A/N: this is for all the hawks simps, it's been a while since I written about him but hopefully this satisfied all of you👁👁 ( I'm super sorry that this was in draft for the longest but I hope you enjoy this and worth the wait. ) I've been craving shigaraki content lately but now y'all simps are finally getting some hawk thirst content hope y'all enjoy😉💕

Warings: very horny needy hawks + ton of petnames + body massage/body worship + creampie + breeding kink + dirty talk.

"Come on baby, you're been working too much." Keigo whined at you, you were working on papers from your new job.

You start working at an elementary school teaching the little ones how to learn the alphabet and reading. At first it looks pretty easy but it's quite stressful. You want to pull your own hair out whenever the children start fights or cry out for their parents. It's not fun when your boss is strict, you sigh heavily and stretch a bit.

"I can't keigo, I gotta work on these papers. It's very important." Keigo lets out a dramatic sigh as he's leaning in to pull your waist close to him.

He gives soft light kisses on your neck, you would be very annoyed by this but you find him too cute being extra needy.

"I got an idea.." He pecks his lips to your ear, he's sound... Like he was breathing heavily.

"How's about I give you a nice massage?" He purrs softly, you thought about it but everytime he does it, it will lead him wrecking your insides each time. You look into his amber eyes as it has want and need as you let out a long sigh.

"Okay fine... But no funny business, just a few minutes." Oh you shouldn't have trusted him, keigo's smirk grew big... Very maliciously.

He removed his arms around your waist but he still wanted you so he pulled you up and you were basically dragged into your shared room.

Keigo grabs the lotion, one of his favorites, as he turns to you.

"Take your clothes off my dove." You raise your eyebrow at him.

"Is to help with the body message." You chuckle as you shake your head at him.

You slowly remove each clothes off making keigo stare a little longer on your soft naked skin now being revealed.

You lay on your stomach on the soft cozy sheets as he takes his time to warm his hands.

You look at him with little annoyance by his slow pace. The squeezed of the bottle echo in your shared room.

You let out a groan and felt his hands on your shoulder giving a few rubs, he moved to your back with soft strokes. The sweet smell of vanilla hits your nose as you lay your head to the side looking at keigo doing the work.

Things were going great when he grabbed hold of your cheeks, spead it a bit wide then he bit his lips to hide his groans.

"Mhmm your ass is so tender angel." Keigo squeezed more lotion onto your ass as he continued the massage.

You whine at his fingers kneading your soft skin. The fingertips trace your stretch marks and cellulite.

" So perfect… beautiful baby. " he hums softly as he continues to rub your skin.

Keigo groans out loud, you turn your head to the side to see him drooling at your beauty, his red wings spread out. 

Keigo leans in to whisper seductively." Bet you will be even more beautiful with your belly being swole and round." He lay on top of you, grinding his hips softly, feeling his member get hard. 

" seeing you being sweet towards those children… fuck~! " he nips at your neck as he pants quietly. 

" Just think about it… our own little mini me looks just as beautiful as their mama." He goes to your ear as he begins to breathe heavily.

" let me have you… just please~.. do it for me yeah? " you couldn't find words to answer as you nodded your head letting him do whatever he pleases. You can't say no to your pretty boyfriend who is needy and wants you.

Keigo groans out as he leans away." Good girl. " he gently pulled his pants down a bit.

" Such a good girl~. always looks pretty for me. " you gasp out feeling his fingers sliding inside your hole.

" So wet for me my sweet dove. "The fingers go in and out as a slow tease way making you squirm, you start to get needy too, whining and move your hips back with his thrust.

" ahh not too fast baby girl. " he bites his lips as he holds your hips down. " You don't wanna end too soon yeah? " add two more fingers as he begins to go a bit fast.

You roll your eyes backwards as your saliva slowly slides down your chin.

" please kei… I want you please~. "Keigo hums softly as he rolls his hips on your thigh.

" Hmm, I thought you wanted to do your work. I can leave you alone after all~. " you can hear his teasing sing song voice as you feel his fingers sliding out as he begins to remove himself. This is how he always gets you every single time you get a body massage from him.

" no no no please don't~!! " you cry out as you try to grab his coat back.

" keigo stop teasing me already, I want your cock so bad~! Please don't leave me. " work every time as keigo has a smirk on his face.

" alright baby~." He pulls more of his pants down releasing his hard manhood.

He tapped your entrance as he's still teasing you, you whined out.

" please keigo… fuck me please~.. " you pout at him as he bite his lips hard, he can't say no to his beautiful baby.

He slid inside your tight velvet walls as he groaned out, the feeling is always incredible, he can't get enough of you and your voluptuous body.

He hump your behind, rolling his hips at a nice and slow pace. Your body is covered in sweats, his musky smell linger in your nostrils as you melted away. You grab the sheets for dear life as he pulls fully back to slam your inside, the drool dripping down the bed as it starts to shake uncontrollably by his thrusts.

His large hand finds itself on your neck as he chokes you a bit.

" my beautiful baby girl~ taking me so well.. auhh fuck~!!! " you choke a bit of your saliva but you didn't care, you were intoxicated by him and his thrusts made you lose your voice. Your mind is clouded with lust and only thinking about him and his pretty cock inside you.

He grabbed your hips upwards as he began to pound harder and faster, the loud skin slapping skin echoing in the room as you cry out his name for more.

" I can't last any longer.. mhmm cum with me, pretty girl and I'll give you your reward for being good to me." He whines out, the fingers sliding your soft skin to your core as he begins to rub your clit the way you like it.

Your toes curl in as you begin to reach your end. You cream around his throbbing cock as he goes faster at pace, his thrust becomes sloppy by the second.

" there it comes~ take it take it fucking take it all dove~!! " he chants your name over and over again as you feel the flow of his cum filling you up. The warmth inside feels nice as you mewling sweetly at him.

You lay there exhausted as he gives kisses all over your face, he pets your hair softly as he coo at you.

" don't worry about the paper babe, I'll help you out." You mumble something as you close your eyes shut.

Keigo gets off of you as he watches his cum slowly come out of your hole, he pulls his phone out to take a couple of videos and pictures of you.

He always loves it whenever he is alone to get off on the thought of you getting pregnant by him, it makes his heart swell with delight.

Keigo put his phone back into pocket, he leaned in to give you one last kiss as he walked away to where your paperwork is at.

You're having a good, nice sleep but you already know it's gonna be a long night once keigo finishes your work and comes crawling back to your shared bedroom.

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

40 Years Super Hot Body Ready for Party • Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra and Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Fart Song • Butterflies Scared My Cat When I Was Burping in Your Face on Wednesday Morning • Drunk Log out with Spooky Music Settings on My Firm Tits Pictures • Grandpa Says Fuck While Grandma Screams What Repeated Several Times • Grumpy Trumpy Python Toddler Taxi with False News and Emotions • Hugging Blood Thirsty Vampires with a Transylvanian Accent and Slapped Butts • I Farted as an Official Statement Against Global Warming, Expressing My Worries! • I’m Handsome When Wearing a Bag on My Head, Said the Horny Motherfuckers Politely • Is That Cellulite or Just Your Ugly Face? • Kindergarten Farting Fanfare Discussed with Disgusting Asian Clay Warriors Terracotta Song • Leaking Ladies Xylophone Solo Learning with Lusty Lashes Song • Lisping on Penis Peyote Creaking Mirth Radio, Let’s Lisp! Song • Lowering My Filthy Boobs to the Height of Your Curly Chest Hair with Freckles • Mom’s Cleaning Closet Looks Like a Women’s Porn Stash • My Gay Expense Combination Password Gore Seeking Battle Was Sinning • My Hangover Got Hung over by a Hung Guy from Hungary • My Horoscope Sign Is Poop and Yours Is Farts • Nearly Touching Myself with Your Girlfriend’s Hands While Doing the Dishes • Peeing a Farting Swearing Shouting and Pooping in Different Languages Made Me Famous Song • Petite Girls Liked My Fat Farts in Skinny Jeans with Justice • Pooping a Masterpiece in the Little Boys Room on National TV Broadcast • Puerto Del Penis Summer Holiday with Topless Sun Bathing and Surfing Fun • Puking Girls Are Holding Each Others Hair While Selling Butter to Pregnant Vomiting Men • Real Sharks Was a Great Accessory for My Swimming Pool Party Massacre • Relaxing Music for Penis Boys and Vagina Girls, I Have Money Cash, Yes! • Rescuing My Penis from Your Vagina at the Last Minute, Whoah! • Scary Music and Naked Ladies Cemetery Collection Flickering Through Growth • Shaking Sausages in the Men’s Room and Dangling Coconuts • Short Temper Anus Removal with Lipstick on the Collar • Shouting Poopers to Girls While a Crying Man Is Pooping Poop, How Adorable Screaming Babies Are! • Silly Talking Childish Macho Man Thanking Prayers for God’s Food Yes Hello! • Skinny Bitch, Fat Bitch, Rich Bitch, Poor Bitch, All Bitches Poop! • Smelling That Pussy in the Air at the Private Night Club Farting Room • Smudging Chocolate over the Toilet, So Everyone Would Think I Pooped • Sneaking Beans into Your Butthole While U Talk to a Handsome Stranger • Snuggling in Satan’s Satin Sheets with Shattered Dreams and No Boner Song • Solitary Fighting My Big Toe with the Desolate Strangler • Spoiling Desert by Pulling Your Finger Thirteen Times in a Row • Strolling with Morning Wood in the Woods While Mourning to This Song • Stutter and Chinese Food Destroyed My Artwork in the Toilet Bowl Coffee Shop • Sunny Morning Boner at the Beach Gym Towel Rental Song • Surprisingly Soft Boobs on the Milf Statue in the Garden of Jugs, Oh It Was Your Mom Sorry! •

Taming My Daughter’s Boyfriend with Booze and Fists of Agony • Teleporting My Cock to the Urinals Hurts When Peeing Penis Action • That Penis Is Not Mine, Stop Accusing Me of Curing Your Cancer! What • The Brothel Cup Cake Dispenser Had a Variety of Chocolate Brownies Too • The Giggling Killer Was Invited for Tea and Mustard with a Former Laughing Idiot • The Headache Fuckers with Migraine Were Chopping Fucking Painkillers • The Itchy Vampire Vagina Was a Gothic Curse from Medieval Times Song • The Lying Bitch Hermit Ducking Group Was Insisting on Bitch Slaps • The Penis Teens Shouting Squad Declared War on the Vagina Milfs Departure • The Pussy Cock Was Meowing and Cock-a-Doodle-Dooing with Glance • The Singing Orgy Group Remembered My Fancy Birthday Party, Super! • The Sock on My Penis Shook the Genuine Spokesman While Crying Song • The Syphilis Motown Singers Were Blowing Deranged Adultery at Me Song • The Toy Collector’s Mature Attitude Otter Raised Homeland Security Breach • The Triangle of Pussy and Clipping Smoothies Burping Smootch • Typical Asian Food Poured into the Purse of an European Hooker Prostitute Igloo • Under Water Farting Wiz Nick Y Minaj Naked Twerking Shower Saloon Barf Thong • Updating My Profile Picture While Pooping Macaroni with Japanese Subtitles • Using Mother´s Panther Underwear Because of Broken Shopping Bag to the Store • Washing Hamburgers with Dirty Sauce in Leather Pants While Howling • What Ugly Shit on Your Finger! Oh, It’s Your Wedding Ring? It’s Very Nice! • Whistling and Farting a Heavenly Polyphonic Song for Dying Virgins • Violin Licking Sounds by a Hard Baritone Dick Song Licker • Young Girls Selling Old Men´s Boxers in Thongs with Soulful Tutti-Frutti • Your Butthole Swallowed My Telephone, Will It Come out from the Mouth Then? • Your Mom´s Butt Massage Seems Innocent at First, Before Handing out Religious Leaflets

Spotify ♪ Youtube

[bouncingbluebeast]

Dad bod Logan - yee or nay?

((Walks up to the microphone with a pile of flashcards. I straighten my cards and adjust my shirt collar before tapping the microphone and leaning in:

Yes.

You look at this 19th century Alberta-born bastard-son redneck-noble subsisting off beer, cigarettes, potatoes, syrup, pancakes, wild game and jerky - and Marvel has the audacity to give him a six-pack? That in our modern day of processed and manufactured foods that he wouldn't even be slightly affected??

(At best I can see a three-pack still visible in that image, ayyyyyy)

Marvel, you look at this caked-up manlet and tell me there is less than 10% body fat on his entire person?

You're telling me, with the bone density of ada-fucking-mantium, that this Calgary Stampede Shortstack has no additional bulk on his muscle from powerlifting his own skeleton every time he walks? That there are no stores of body fat habituated by his body to prepare for the metric ton of bodily harm he'll have to repair in the matter of a week? Not a single lovehandle or cellulite to be seen?

The only "shredded" I will accept as an adjective for Wolverine is a descriptor of his victims or his clothes (an oxymoron, but I digress).

Like, what is this...?

You're going to fight a bear built like THAT???

You're gonna have that dorito-chest snapped at that pencil waist after he bats away those noodle-ass arms.

And then on the other end...

PFFFFFTHAHAHA! What??? He could get his head knocked off like a teed-up golf ball that fell on a barbershop floor...

The artists I respect the most when they are drawing Wolverine are those that remember that this is a 5'3" frontier man from 1800s Canada who has to deal with the fact that everyone after the 1930s is taller than him.

This man has the complex to be the toughest and biggest guy in the room, even when he's always the shortest. He talks big, eats big, fights big as his show of that Wolverine scrappiness.

So to reiterate: yes, Wolverine has a dad bod - because I'm not a coward.))

[brekkie-e]

Listen, I get that a lot of people's dislike of white-haired Lavellan's comes from over exposure, which is valid and happens to the best of us. But most of the time, when I see posts about folks not liking them, the frustration centers around them being this unearthly ethereal white-haired barbie doll. And I'm sure that is also common.

But as someone who loves my dinky white haired Lavellan, and also feels like she's one of my most human characters, I want to ramble about all the ways she is not just a beautiful barbie doll power fantasy. Because my nerd is pretty. She IS. But she also has the puffiest under eyes you ever saw. Depending on the day, there may be dark circles. There isn't a cream on the market that can make this lady look properly rested. When you combine that with the near constant sunburn on her nose turning it red, she has the air of someone that is in a permanent state of allergy season.

Going from the top down, she also has a tooth gap. And while we are here, they are pretty darn crooked. Thedas doesn't have orthodontists. I wouldn't say she has horrible teeth. But she has perfectly human imperfect teeth that make for a memorable smile for all the wrong (right) reasons.

Her left ear is missing a big chunk out of it from being hit by an arrow. It gives her the same lightly ragged look of a stray cat.

She has moles. The one on her chin grows a long and shockingly white hair out of it. She pulls it out. If it's because she's insecure about it or because picking at it is a nervous tick, she doesn't even know at this point because she's done it for so many years.

The hair on her arms is very fine and white. It is also very, very fuzzy. The kind of peach fuzz that catches the light and makes itself known. It didn't bother her when she lived with her clan because she has a lot of siblings, and they all have it. But someone casually remarks on it during her time with the Inquisition, maybe in jest saying her arms look more like a dwarf's than an elf's. Suddenly, she wears sleeves a lot more often.

I am pretty attached to the bean pole frame Lavellan gets in Inquisition because it's hard to headcanon out for me when it's constantly there on screen. That being said, her legs have some hefty cellulite going on in the back of those thighs. Her flat little ass is dimpled. There are stretch marks on the insides of her thighs, and on her butt. She thinks that's unfair given her complete and utter lack of curves. Knees? Knobby. Her shins always have bruises on them from bumping into something or another.

Various other things I think about and am fond of for her. Her sword hand is calloused. It's often dry and cracked, with hang nails like a construction worker. She tries to take care of it, but how do you out self-care the kind of wear and tear constant travel and fighting does to a person.

Her eyebrows are so pale and thin that it doesn't even look like she has them half the time. Her scalp can get sunburns where her hair parts. She gets a pimple in the same spot like clockwork every time her period comes around. She has one toe that's just inexplicably uglier than the rest.

And she's still pretty. She's still little miss doomed by the narrative.

Secretly, I didn't really have a point to this post beyond wanting to talk about my character's endearing imperfections. But I'll try to wrap this up with something coherent. You can use the stereotypical "pretty" color palette and still create a deeply human character. You can also use a unique color palette and still end up with a design or attitude that gives off "this character's sweat smells like roses and peonys."

I'm not saying that white-haired Lavellan's don't come with the baggage of over-exposure or the weight of heavy handed white savior energy. I'm not saying they can't be done badly. I am just sad thinking there are other folks out there that see all the "stereotypical Lavellan" posts, and also feel a knee-jerk impulse to redesign a beloved oc to be more like-able. At the end of the day, oc's are for their creator. Nobody is going to like your oc more than you. So make one that speaks to you.

And hey. Maybe you are guilty of making your oc's perfect pretty Barbie dolls. Nothing wrong with a pretty lady (or man but that's not really the point of the post.) But speaking for myself, I fall a little in love with every oc someone gives a perfectly normal "defect" to. So next time you find yourself making a hot girl... mix it up a bit and consider giving her toe hair. You might be surprised by how much that detail sticks with you.

[lostgirlfandom]

I'm Not Okay

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!PlusSized!Reader

Warnings: Mention of bullying, plus sized reader, afab reader, angst then fluff

Words: 1.8k

Being away from Dean was a feat in and of itself. But this case was especially hard since he was gone longer than usual.  

Usually, he’s gone for maybe a couple weeks on cases, tough ones maybe a few weeks. But this one is going on two months. It made you worried and stressed, even though he called as often as he could to talk about your days or to have you investigate something. And when you were stressed and worried, you tend to eat more often along with binging shows to distract you from your thoughts. 

Finally, Dean called you one day. “Hey baby, we’re on our way back to the bunker. We’ll be there in a few days.” You could basically hear the giddy grin in his voice as he spoke to you.  

Your face broke out into a giant smile. “Yeah? I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you so much!” You did a small wiggle in excitement at the thought of finally seeing your man after so long.  

He chuckled and sighed in contentment. “I can’t wait to see you either, baby. Although I think you missed your own personal body heater” He teased you.  

You giggled. “How’d you know?” You teased right back.  

You heard Sam in the background, and you frowned a little as Dean yelled back at him. “Alight, baby. I gotta go, I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?” 

“Alright, love. Be careful... both of you!”  

“We will. I love you, sweetheart!” He said before a rustling came from the phone.  

“I love you tooooo!” Sam sang into the phone making you laugh. You listened to them fight with laughs falling from your lips.  

Finally, Dean took back the phone. “Alight, baby. See you in a couple of days.” 

You spoke through laughs. “Alright, babe. Love you.” 

After hanging up, you went back to watching a show on Netflix that had caught your attention for a couple of hours before getting up to cook something for supper.  

Once finished, you watched one more episode before getting up to take a shower and get ready for bed.  

Walking into the bathroom, you put on a playlist on your phone to listen to while you shower as you got undressed.  

Looking up into the mirror, you paused.  

Your brow frowned as you looked at your body. Is your stomach sagging more? Do your stretch marks on your breasts look more prominent? Have those scars always been that color?  

You gave a deep frown as you dragged your hands over your stomach, feeling the soft skin and sucking in your tummy while pressing the tissue into your body. Your hands went from feeling your stomach to your love handles and grabbing at them.  

Biting the inside of your lip, your hands made their way to your breasts. Holding the heavy tissue, you tried to push them up.  

You sighed and turned to turn the shower on and stopped as you saw the cellulite on the sides of your thighs and some on your ass cheeks. Your jaw clenched as the self-consciousness grew in your mind.  

You hurriedly got into the shower and tried to let the music and sound of water drown out the intrusive thoughts.  

You had always been on the heavier side, and you had always been a little self-conscious of your body. Especially, when you were younger, and your mother would always make these little passive aggressive comments about losing weight. And when kids in your grade would pick on you for developing earlier than others. After high school, you worked on yourself. You only worked out enough so that you were healthy and then when you use to hunt like the brothers you were in shape enough to hunt the things that go bump in the night.  

You met the brothers on a hunt way before finding the bunker. You hunted alongside them for years, and somewhere along the way you and Dean fell in love.  

At first, you weren’t going to act on it. But Dean did. Dean loved your body and worshipped you when you finally got together. He showed you love that no one had ever shown you before.  

He didn’t give a fuck about anything. He enjoyed what enjoyed. And you tried to mimic that in your life.  

And it seems those doubts were coming back.  

When you got out of the shower, you avoided looking into the fogged-up mirror as you dried off as much as you could before putting on your underwear.  

Now you walked into the room, forgoing the shorts and tank top you were originally going to wear to bed, you dug through your dresser for some baggy sweatpants and a baggy shirt.  

You curled up in bed and silent tears welled up in your eyes before you cried yourself to sleep.  

The next two days carried on the same. You ate less though, and you were binge watching more shows to distract yourself from your mind.  

Dean could tell something was wrong when he called you both days to check on you. You were giving him small answers and when he asked what was wrong, you just told him you felt like you were coming down with something.  

The day that the boys got back, he definitely knew something was wrong when you didn’t come greet him at the entrance like you usually do.  

He raised an eyebrow before looking over at Sam, who also looked confused at the missing piece. Dean sighed, “I’ll go look for her.” Sam nodded and followed down into the map area. Sam headed towards his room and Dean headed to your shared room first.  

Dean walked in and paused as he found you lying in bed with your back facing the door. His brow frowned in concern as he let his bag drop down by the door and shut the door behind him. You softly flinched at the sound of the bag dropping, but you didn’t look over as you seemed to curl up even further into a ball on the bed.  

Dean quietly walked over to the bed and sat on the side and put his hand on your side. “Baby?... What’s going on, huh?”   

You were silent as tears fell from the corners of your eyes down onto the pillow. You didn’t want to answer him. You didn’t want to speak, and you were afraid if you did, he would agree with you.  

He stared at you and then moved to take his boots off along with his flannel. He slowly moved to get under the covers with you. His hand slowly rubbed your back for a moment before moving to wrap around your waist to pull you close to him, but you tensed. He paused and grew more concerned. He let his hand rest of your waist and just rubbed up and down your side.  

“Baby... what happened while we were away?” He whispered into the room. Just being cautious of the tension in your body.  

You were still for a moment.  

You shook your head.  

Dean stared at the back of your head. It was silent as he let you stew in your head for a few minutes more.  

“Baby girl, can you please tell me what is bothering you? At least try to. I wanna help, but I have to know what’s going on.” He told you as he scooched closer to you. You didn’t tense up this time, but you were still contemplating if you wanted to tell him why you were stuck in your head. 

There was a lull in silence before you spoke up, your voice was raspy from the nonuse of that day. “I gained weight...” 

He frowned and stared at the back of your head. Dean couldn’t tell from all the layers on top of you.  

“So? You’re still my baby-”  

“Dean. My stomach looks so saggy and uneven that I feel ugly. My stretch marks are more prominent again... my hips look weirdly shaped, and I feel like... like I’m just so ugly.” You cut him off as you ranted for a moment. “I hate the way I look. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling disgusted with myself. I don’t know why you stay with me. I don’t know what you see in me.” 

Dean’s eyes watered up slightly as he listened to you. He swiftly wrapped his arm around you and pulled you as close as he could to his chest with his other arm going underneath you to full encase you in his arms.  

“Y/N... I know what I say won’t help all the way, but I get it... but I love you. Whether you are four hundred pounds or however you weight now, or if you were as skinny as a twig. I love you because you except me for how I am. I never got that from my dad. You make everything seem worth it. You make the tough days feel like they are worth it. You make all this bullshit we deal with on a daily basis, feel like we are making a difference in the world. The shit we do, is a thankless job but we do it anyway and you always tell me that I’m doing my best whether it was finding like the tiniest detail on a job or if it’s saving someone’s life. You make me feel so important... and I can never express everything I feel for you in words, but this is a start. You are beautiful no matter what. You just... You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” 

More tears spilled down your face as you listened to Dean talk. His voice cracking every now and then from the pure emotion in his voice. His arms were enclosing you to him, if not he felt like you might disappear on him.  

“So, what if you have a more pronounced stomach or you have stretch marks or if your body is purple or if you looked like Jabba the Hutt. You are everything to me, Y/N. You are beautiful and perfect for me.” 

You went to move to turn around and face him and he let you lose for a moment to do that but then gripped you tightly to himself again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and put your forehead to his. You were still crying but because of his words and how your heart and mind felt lightened a little bit from the emotion that poured from his rant. His eyes were still watery and shined from the tears that didn’t fall but you still saw the love for you in them.  

Every inch of your body was against his, with your legs intertwined together. Your fingers dug into his hair, and you just stared at him for a solid second.  

You took in a ragged breath before whispering out. “I can’t promise that I’ll be okay right away... Thank you, baby. I love you so much...”  

He sighed out a ragged breath too before reaching forward and kissing you lightly on your lips.  

It was going to take a while for you to be alright but with Dean by your side... You think you can get to be okay with yourself.  

[balkanradfem]

I watched the Barbie movie, it was a really fun, goofy movie! I had a good time watching it. I loved how many women there were on the screen most of the time, and how many interactions they had! I didn't appreciate when any of the kens were on screen, that didn't really accomplish much. But I did like they gay energy between all of them, they were so focused on each other the entire time, they all kept forgetting about Barbies completely, which I approve of.

I liked women having the chance to point out the impossible expectations in the society, even if they couldn't go as far as to name the perpetrators or acknowledge the root of it, but I get that, it was not a political movie, it's supposed to be goofy and fun. I very strongly found myself in Barbie when she steps into the our world and just starts noticing everything that's wrong with it; being stared at with the undertone of violence, construction crew failing to be female, the boards and corporations failing to be lead by women exclusively, that's what I'm feeling every day when I look around! It's wrong, and I'm glad they pointed it out.

One small thing that chafed on me was Barbie genuinely being scared of not having perfect body, being upset at tiny things like flat feet or cellulite, why would that be an issue in a female-dominated society? I would have loved if nobody blinked at it because it made absolutely no threat to their political superiority or their value. It also felt a bit odd when Barbie complimented a lady of being beautiful; at that point Barbie didn't hate the signs of aging or reality on others, but still was scared of them on herself. That part didn't translate well for me.

Wish more Barbies had lesbian energy! Weird Barbie had to cover that all by herself and she did an amazing job, but like, get her a girlfriend, come on.

I also loved Barbies and later, women, stating proudly that they know what they're worth and absolutely refusing to be humble about any of it. I loved how appearance of Barbies basically didn't matter, they were all respectable, smart, achieved, valuable and admirable community members, with agency and free will. In a female-dominated world it really does not matter, it was kinda funny that they had to look like barbies, in a world where there was absolutely no need to look like that.

Would love to watch a movie with this exact plot but everyone looks like normal woman, and there's no ken except those two that kept softly dancing when everyone was fighting, they can stay.

[heretic-child]

At one point, after being called fascist, Barbie flexes her encyclopedic knowledge of fascist history, “I don’t control the railways and flow of commerce.” So Barbie knows about fascism, and still only cares about cellulite ?? Her big arc is learning to accept her flawless appearance. The only thing she pursues in life is a gynecologist. That’s it, folks. That’s your feminist role model, a woman who takes no interest in anything that’s happening in the world outside of her looks. Great !

Why is it considered feminist and positive for young girls to watch a film where the third-act conflict is resolved by Barbies learning to PLAY DUMB so they can manipulate their boyfriends and get what they want ? It’s the film’s entire resolution, it saves the day ! A montage of Barbies dumbing themselves down so they can manipulate their Kens is how peace is restored in Barbieland. Yikes !

tbh the movie is very much of a failure. not only it’s not feminist or whatever they claim, it wasn’t enjoyable at all. script makes no sense, dialogues are cringe and boring. i didn’t understand a shit about what was its purpose or what story ended with. what it achieved? what we should have learned from it? long ass movie and nothing happened.

sure, again capitalism won. this movie(!) distorted feminism & feminist perspective and diminished its meaning like we do not fight to preserve it for ages.

i can’t believe how many women think it’s a movie of all times, specially made for us.

[2manythoughtz]

Barbie has been deeply misunderstood?

The movie Barbie is still topic of many discussions among viewers and their different points of view. The Golden Globes have proved just why this movie was needed in the first place.

Recently some comments have been made during The Golden Globes that have left people thinking. For those who don’t know, The Golden Globes is an annual ceremony that takes place in the US and awards movies, TV series, actors and so on based on their categories and the votes are made by approximately 300 entertainment journalists from various parts of the world. As with all ceremonies, they must have a host who most of the time is someone famous in the entertainment industry and who is meant to make the night funny and unforgettable, sadly this year was not the case.

Jo Koy, who is a famous stand-up comedian and actor, was the host of this year’s edition and some of his jokes left people speechless. While most VIPs in the audience looked somehow confused and uncomfortable as he tried to get a few laughs from everyone. Of course, hosting is not an easy task, there’s a lot of pressure on the person and I’m sure they need a lot of time to prepare their jokes. That doesn’t excuse what has been said and, while no one in the audience said anything about it, the fans at home were not so silent on the matter.

While many lines were not appreciated, such as Jo Koy’s comment about Taylor Swift that left her fans bitter about it, one in particular really struck a nerve and everyone started talking about it on social media. “Oppenheimer is based on a 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project, and Barbie is on a plastic doll with big boobies.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, he then added. “I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a creep. It was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll, just something about your eyes, Ryan…it’s not all about you Margot.” And finally. "The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad breath, cellulite, and flat feet. Or what casting directors call character actor!"

As you can imagine, the Barbie cast was not too enthusiastic about these comments as they looked embarrassed rather than amused. People all over social media are criticizing Jo Koy for proving the movie’s point, just because the movie is about a “doll with big boobies” doesn’t mean that it’s something he can comment about so lightly. This misogynistic behavior is exactly why Barbie was made in the first place, to show people that in a world dominated by men, women will always be looked down upon, whether they’re real or just dolls.

But what is the Barbie movie about? Whether you love it or hate it, I think everyone agrees on the fact that the Barbie movie is a way to show people, mostly young women, that it’s hard to fit in today’s society. Women have been fighting for their rights for years, trying to become men’s equals while also feeling the pressure that has been put on them to be perfect no matter what. Barbie is about a doll, yes, but the story revolves around something deeper. The way Barbie slowly realizes that being imperfect is not a bad thing, it’s just a human thing, and the way she manages to understand her feelings as she evolves from feeling perfect to slowly wondering if there’s more to life is just eye-opening.

The movie discusses many topics and, while some of them may be a bit controversial, the main topic is womanhood. What is it to be a woman, what if feels to be a woman and how women are portrayed. So joking about Barbie’s body in a sexual way and the struggles she encounters is not only sickening but also embarrassing.

Greta Gerwig, the movie’s director, remained professional on her end and when asked to comment on Jo Koy’s words, she simply said. “Well, he’s not wrong,” she continued. “She’s the first doll that was mass-produced with breasts, so he was right on. And you know, I think that so much of the project of the movie was unlikely because it is about a plastic doll. Barbie by her very construction has no character, no story, she’s there to be projected upon.”

Even so, the Barbie movie won an award for best Cinematic and Box Office Achievement.

Speaking of awards, there’s something else we must address. Another misconception that shows just how everyone has misunderstood how deep the movie’s message is. In fact, most of the movie’s soundtracks were nominated as Best Song at the Critics Choice Awards and, as everyone expected What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish to be the winner, I’m Just Ken ended up winning that title. Yet again, it’s almost laughable as this song is basically a joke about the Kens feeling misunderstood and ignored by Barbie, while What Was I Made For is a song about womanhood and the hard feelings and fears that women live with. The award went to the only song made by a man that was up against the other 2 songs made by women for the same movie.

Ryan Gosling’s reaction has become viral online as you can see him confused and unamused by this unexpected victory. Yes, I’m Just Ken maybe became more popular because of the memes but to put it above a meaningful song such as What Was I Made For felt unreal. I’m not sure which was worse, Jo Koy’s jokes or this award.

What are you thoughts? Let me know!