#fic: brick by brick
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and he says he doesn't burn
#simon's so cute i want to throw a brick at him#a reader insert fic i'm reading has him blushing a LOT LIKE THANK U LORD#ALSO EYYY FIRST ART FOR 2024#my art#2024#call of duty#call of duty: modern warfare#call of duty: modern warfare ii#call of duty: modern warfare iii#cod#codmw#codmwii#codmwiii#modern warfare#mw#mw2#mw3#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#video games
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Chapter 39 of human Bill Cipher is SURE he's about to escape being the Mystery Shack's prisoner:
Ford's confronted with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he's a little bit too obsessed with Bill.
And meanwhile, Bill has found a way to reach his loyal cultists... if he can find somebody willing to help him make contact.
He thinks Ford is the perfect target.
Maybe, just maybe, the obsession goes both ways.
(warning for an incident of self-harm via burning, and depersonalization and/or dysphoria (depending on how you interpret it) re: Bill feeling even worse about his body than usual.)
####
Soos, Stan, and Ford had stayed up half the night trying to generate enough NowUSeeitNowUDontium to prevent it from vanishing the moment one of them lost (or gained) focus. They'd eventually given up and stayed the night in Northwest Manor. Soos had texted Melody around midnight, and she'd immediately replied (which alarmed Ford, but Soos assured him she was used to those hours) and agreed, with some trepidation, to spend the night by herself in the shack so that the kids wouldn't be alone all night with Bill. She'd texted a half hour later to report that the bathroom was a disaster, but the kids had reassured her it was just some werewolf thing, so, not a big deal.
Ford had thought getting to spend a night without Bill under the same roof would be a relief. Instead, he found his sleep was even worse. He kept worrying about what Bill might get up to so far away and out of sight, where Ford couldn't do anything to stop him. Surely, by nighttime, Bill had to have noticed that the only humans he'd seen all day were the kids? Would he consider Melody any kind of threat, no veteran to combating Gravity Falls' weirdness?
It figured that the dream demon would find a way to disrupt Ford's sleep when he wasn't even there.
####
Ford had given up on sleep around two in the morning and gone wandering until he stumbled across a den with walls covered in bookcases, massive windows overlooking the forest below, and a pair of richly upholstered armchairs turned to gaze out the windows. He drifted between the chairs to one of the windows. It was the kind of personal library he'd dreamed of accepting esteemed guests in, back when he'd fantasized about one day being rich and famous. He suspected the Northwests had never read a book in this room.
Ford had been staring out at the still night and the dark pines for several minutes when he heard the creak of a door and soft footsteps behind him. He whirled around, raising a weapon. "Back, you spectral fiend!"
"Whoa! Easy, Sixer!" Stan held up a hand defensively. "It's just me!" He lowered his hand. "Why are you holding up a dinner plate?"
"Er—sorry." Ford sheepishly tucked the silver dish under his arm again. "I'm sure I saw a ghost earlier. I thought it prudent to arm myself."
Stan muttered, "This place sure is creepy enough for it."
"Mm. It's built on more than its fair share of bones." Ford returned to gazing out the window, hands clasped behind his back. "I'm sorry today was a failure. When I'm staring right at an experiment on which the fate of the entire universe depends, it's hard not to think about it."
"Eh, I wasn't doing too hot either," Stan admitted, joining Ford at the window. "There's only so many times you can hear Soos whisper 'Think about the miniature particle accelerator' in your ears on a loop before you zone out and start thinking about fishing season."
Ford huffed. "Maybe we should have switched places."
"Yeah, probably. I retired from thinking about science after I got your dumb portal running, and once you get your head stuck on something you can't stop thinking about it."
Ford laughed wryly. "Unfortunately accurate."
There was a moment of silence; and then Stan said cautiously, "Speaking of you getting your head stuck on something..."
Ford didn't like that tone. "Hm?"
"I was, uh... doing some light reading..." He held up Ford's journal.
A jolt of anger and fear shot through Ford. "Give me—" He snatched the journal back.
It wasn't until it was in his hands that he registered the absurdity of his own action; for the past year, he'd given Stan free access to Journal 5. He'd used it to document their travels and discoveries as a reference for them both; he'd even asked Stan to contribute a couple of entries. Based on a prior precedent of seven months, Stan had every right to look at Journal 5. Revoking that access now was... Well, it didn't look good.
Stan didn't immediately say anything. Ford supposed his own actions said enough. He tucked the journal under his arm with the silver dish.
Stan cleared his throat. "I think we're a little past the 'superhero nemesis' thing."
"It's not a problem," Ford said tersely.
"Not a prob—? Ford, you're letting him consume your life."
"He's consumed all our lives. The kids haven't been able to invite anyone over, Melody all but runs to her car after work, you ended up in a showdown with fae nobility—"
"It was just the tooth fairy!"
"Do you know how important a fairy has to be to claim dominion over all teeth?"
"Forget about the fairy!" Stan waved off the whole fairy topic with one hand. "Look, I'm not the one who's dedicated half a journal to talking about him!"
"You don't keep a journal, Stanley—"
"That's not the point!"
"—I'm just saying, if you did keep a journal, I think he'd have come up on more than a few pages—"
"But like this?" Stan gestured toward Ford's journal. "This is turning into an obsession. And not one of your normal obsessions."
The back of Ford's neck heated up. He wanted to argue that he had to obsess over Bill if he hoped to find a way to kill him—but Stan already knew that Ford had passed off that project to Fiddleford weeks ago. "How can I be 'obsessed' with somebody I barely even see? I'm avoiding Bill like my life depends on it! I talk to him less than Mrs. Ramirez does!"
"And you're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private!" Stan gestured again, angrily, at Ford's journal. (Ford defensively tucked it further under his arm.) "You're acting like a stalker, Sixer. Not that I care about him, but, I'm starting to worry about your head."
"A st—?! I'm a scientist, he's a scientific curiosity! I'm documenting him! I document plenty of things!"
"Not like this, you don't."
"There's a lot to document!"
"Including spending a whole page trying to figure out—how to draw his—?!" Stan gestured furiously toward his boxers.
Ford pointed at him severely. "You were just as curious as I was to find out how a giant eyeball and a sentient triangle make that work, don't pretend you weren't."
Stan grimaced. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one. But writing a full entry about his posture?"
"He's not only an alien being in a human body but a two-dimensional creature in a three-dimensional body, how he moves and gestures could tell us about how an utterly unfamiliar species perceived space! Nearly all his gestures adhere to an invisible coronal plane, that betrays worlds of information about his original anatomy. Do you know that elbow thing he does when he walks—"
"Ford. You're using your great-niece to get drawings of his childhood bedroom."
Ford raised a finger. "That's—" Ford lowered his finger. Ford sat in a nearby armchair, put his chin in his hands, and stared into space. "What am I doing."
Stan patted his shoulder.
Ford slid his journal and the dish out from under his arm and settled them in his lap. He stared at the cover, then thumbed through the pages. It was obvious when they'd returned to Gravity Falls; the drawings of Atlanteans, were-rats, shorelines, and boats immediately gave way to page after page of staring slit-pupiled eyes.
"It's just... Bill is an ancient being, many times older than our universe, and the last surviving specimen of his own bizarre species. As both an anomaly and a source of esoteric knowledge, he's an invaluable subject of study. He's going to die soon, and he should die, but... between now and then, I don't want to pass up the last ever opportunity to study him."
Stan sank down into the chair opposite Ford. "You're listening to yourself, right?" He didn't sound angry anymore, just worried. "This is a guy who tried to kill us. He isn't a 'specimen' you can add to your collection of weird stuff, you know that, right?"
"I know, I know." That was exactly why it was so important—why it seemed so important—to capture Bill in words and pictures before it was too late. (It was funny, Ford thought, how Stan's very first conversation with Bill had been a murder, and yet he was the one who talked about Bill like he was just some guy; while Ford had spent so many years obsessively trying to find out who Bill was that he'd almost forgotten he was a person instead of a terrible idea.)
"When execution day comes and you think you haven't dug up enough of his history, what'll you do? Give him a stay of execution until he's dictated his memoirs to you?"
"No," Ford said immediately. "No, of course not. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to learn what I can, while I can. It's no different from your 'shopping trip' at the mall—"
"Hey!" Stan pointed a finger at Ford. "Watch it! That was strictly business! It's not like I'm attached to the guy—"
"I didn't mean anything by it! I just meant—as long as we're stuck with Bill, make him useful, and—and to heck with him after that. Right?" Like Stan had said about the scratch cards: why throw away free money just because of the source? "He'd do the same to us."
Stan hesitated. "And you're sure that when the time comes, you'll be ready to pull the trigger?"
"I know I will. It won't be the first time. I'm just glad that this time I'll be able to aim at his own head."
"Hm." Stan didn't look convinced.
Ford sighed. "But, if I think I'll waver—I'll hand you the gun."
"Is that a promise?"
"Yes, yes, of course. I promise."
But he knew he didn't need to.
####
Soos drove the tired gang home just past dawn, early enough for him to open the Mystery Shack on schedule.
"Soon as we get home, I'm going back to sleep," Stan muttered crankily. Ford—eyes shut, leaning against the window—nodded in agreement. Stan yawned, "And there'd better not be any nasty surprises at the shack."
####
Bill sat sleeping in his attic window seat, knees to his chest, leaning against the window, ear pressed to the glass.
Outside, Stan wailed, "My car!"
Bill's eyes snapped open. He smiled.
He ran to the kids' room, knocked on the door—"Hey, the bigger Pines are back!"—and bolted for the stairs.
####
Soos got the door open at the exact same time Bill stumbled off the stairs and collided with the living room doorframe. Bill grabbed the doorframe just long enough to steady himself, and then bounded over to the door, shoved Soos and Ford aside, and leaned out onto the porch. "HIYA, STAN!"
Stan whipped around to face Bill. "YOU!" He gestured furiously at the wizard graffiti on his car. "WHAT did you DO to my CAR!"
"Do you like it?"
Stan let out an inarticulate scream of rage.
"Oh, you love it!"
"You massacred it! I've had this car forty-five years! I've done things in this car I can't say! And it's never, never been so—so—violated!"
Grinning ear to ear, Bill said, "What do you think of the girl wizard?"
"The what?!" Stan circled the car. He screamed again.
"Uh-huh?"
"Why does she have a beard!"
"Go on," Bill said gleefully, "tell me what you think! I want the full review!"
"This," Stan said, "is the most ugly, hideous, terrible—"
Bill glanced back at a sound on the stairs. "Oh, hey Mabel! Get over here!" He gestured proudly as Mabel joined him in the doorway. "And here's the artistic mastermind herself!"
Stan choked on his words. "—b... beautiful, stunning, museum-worthy work of art I've ever seen."
Mabel beamed. "It's not finished yet, we ran out of some colors! I was going to add a dragon on the hood!"
Stan's face went white. "No no, it's... perfect the way it is. Don't—don't change a thing."
"Really? You're sure? I don't mind!"
"Really." Looking slightly nauseous, Stan said, "I love it just like this, pumpkin."
Mabel squealed and ran outside to give him a big hug.
Bill was fighting back silent laughter so hard he almost fell down.
####
"...And I still haven't found any sign of the Nightwigglers," Dipper said, sighing dejectedly and dropping his journal on the counter next to the cash register. "So, I dunno, maybe I should give up on this one and move on."
Wendy was sitting back with her feet kicked up on the counter, but she straightened a bit to look at Dipper's journal. She skimmed the news article he'd paperclipped to one page. "Oh, I heard about this," she said. "The cops talked to me about the first burglary. I was in the thrift shop that day."
"Oh, yeah?" Dipper pointed at the picture next to the article. "Did you see anything like this?"
Wendy's eyes widened. "No—but I think one of my brothers did."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, he was talking about it a couple nights ago. He said it was like an armless white thing wearing pants that went up to its face. We all thought he got spooked by a deer butt or something and made up the whole story. Then dad said we should drop it and told us we should stay in at night."
"That's when they come out! At night!" Dipper laughed excitedly. "Do you think your dad knows something?"
"Pfff, not if he can help it." Wendy pulled her feet off the counter and checked the clock. "I could show you the start of the trail my brother was on. It's like ten minutes by bike and the next big tour bus isn't getting here for half an hour, wanna sneak out?"
"Are you serious?! Of course!"
"Just promise you won't tell Gus if we find something. We've been making fun of him for days and I don't want to admit he was right." Wendy laughed. "Let me grab somebody to cover."
"I'll get my bike!" Dipper was already headed out the door. "I've been looking for a lead for days! I dug through half the dumpsters in town searching for their nests..." The door swung shut behind him.
Wendy ducked into the living room. "Hey Goldie."
"Yello?" He was sitting cross legged on the couch watching TV.
"I've gotta do something with Dipper, do you mind covering for a little bit? Just twenty, thirty minutes."
His gaze flickered to the TV, then back to Wendy's face. "Sure! Anything for you, cool girl."
Wendy had a brief, eerie sense of déjà vu. She shook it off. "I'm not interrupting anything good, am I?" She nodded at the TV.
"Naaah, it's one of those terrible specials about pyramid conspiracies." He shook a cider can, "I'm taking a sip every time they mention Fishmasons or 'ancient dinosaur-worshiping civilization.'"
"Dude. You'll be wasted before the first commercial break."
"Really, you're saving me from myself." He set the can on the TV and followed Wendy into the gift shop. (As he did, Bill checked to see if he had anything on under his hoodie. No? The Pines didn't want him to be seen in public in his hoodie; they thought it would make him "too obvious." He rolled up the sleeves to hide some of the brick pattern and surreptitiously tucked the hood and the bow tie drawstrings into the collar.)
As she headed out the door, Wendy repeated, "Just twenty minutes! Thirty tops. I'll get back before the next tour bus, promise."
"No problem!" He waved her off.
"I owe you one!"
Bill made a note of that.
He looked around the gift shop—any readily-obvious mischief he could get up to? He grabbed an 8-ball cane and took it to the counter. And then he took the stool behind the register, propped his chin in his hand, gazed toward the living room, and resumed watching TV through the wall and backwards. He didn't miss hearing the conspiracy talk—he was sure it was actively making him stupider—but credit where credit was due; they made those CGI pyramid models really hot.
A cutaway of one pyramid showed its internal tunnels and chambers. Bill bit his lower lip. Oh yeah. That's what he came here for.
Several minutes went by. The door opened and a lone tourist crept in, a middle-aged woman with a sun-damaged tan. Bill straightened up and switched his eye patch over to hide his bleeding eye. "Heya! Next tour's in..." He checked the clock, how long until the next bus? "About fifteen minutes."
The woman nodded and quietly started circling the gift shop.
Bill glanced toward the living room, decided he'd better not start damaging his other eye too, mentally cursed the tourist, and pulled out one of Wendy's magazines to read. "Let me know if you need anything."
The tourist spent several minutes making a slow circuit of the room, and then crept up to the cash register. Bill looked up with a smile, didn't see any souvenirs in her hands, and asked, "Can I help you?"
Hesitantly, the woman said, "The sun sets a deep blood red."
Bill's eye flew wide open, his heart leaped into his throat, and his breath hitched. His gaze roved over her exposed skin until he spied a tattoo on her right arm: four triangles stacked atop each other, starting with an equilateral and each getting shorter and more obtuse as they descended, until they'd reduced completely and a single horizontal line underlined all four triangles. This wasn't quite the happiest he'd ever been to see the symbol of a devastatingly self-destructive high-control cult, but it was close. "Oh! Oh, this is—" He rubbed his temples, squeezing his eye shut. "I know this. I rhymed 'red' with 'pyramid.' Why do I give everyone a different code. 'But rises gold over the pyramid'—something like that, right?" Bill gave the woman a pleading look. "I'm close enough that you can tell I know what you're talking about!"
A look of relief washed over her face. "You know him." Voice low, she asked, "Is it safe to talk?"
Knew him? He was him. But he couldn't claim that without proving it—what would convince her?—telling her something that only he knew?—great, but what? Her face was vaguely familiar—he thought he might've given her a visionary dream once—but he had so many little worshipers and they were so unimportant, most of them blurred together.
So all he could do was say, "It's not safe. Everyone here is an enemy."
She nodded sharply. "Where can we meet?"
Bill paused. "We can't. I'm... trapped."
Her brows creased with worry. "They're keeping you prisoner?"
"Afraid so."
"I could get the police—"
"Everyone," Bill repeated, "is an enemy."
She paused, processing that. Bill's gaze flickered to the clock. Wendy said twenty minutes, thirty tops. She'd been gone twenty-two minutes. "Someone's coming any minute."
"Right." The cultist grabbed Wendy's magazine, tore a corner off a page, and grabbed a pen.
"How did you find me?" Bill asked. Of all the tourist traps in all the tiny towns in all the world, how had she come in hereand walked right up to him?
"We were told a devotee was here," she said. "Someone sent the address and phone number to the Bahamian art studio."
Bill's mind spun. How? Who the heck would know to do that? The only person who knew he was here who'd come anywhere close to any of Bill's other worshipers was...
Ford? No. Did he?
The cultist shoved the paper in his hand and turned to leave.
Bill grabbed her arm. "Stay out of Gravity Falls," he commanded. "But stay close. Don't go back to Death Valley." Between the sun damage and the tattoo, she had to be one of his Death Valley girls. She looked like their usual prey: disaffected middle class white woman, probably had a dead end job and a mediocre husband and a useless degree from a liberal arts college. Maybe being able to guess where she came from would impress her.
It did. She stopped and turned back and looked at him in amazement—and then looked at him, staring hard at his eye. "You're... hosting him, aren't you?" Her voice fell to a whisper. "No. Are you...?"
"You got me." He smiled wryly—behold him, electric god bound in flesh, how low he's fallen, but at least he still has his good humor, doesn't he? "I always said you had great intuition." (It was a safe bet. He usually told the ladies that they had great intuition. Most of them ate that up, and the ones that didn't were often a little too savvy to sucker.)
It worked. She inhaled sharply. "You are," she breathed. "I knew you'd be a woman. Oh, Mary's a fool." She said this like she'd just won some years-old argument Bill had missed.
Mary, as in Mary-whom-Bill-had-put-in-charge-of-the-Death-Valley-compound Mary? Ha. She was getting on in years; maybe Bill could start a schism, that sounded fun. He opened his mouth to say something about Mary having great leadership but waning clarity of vision—
—when the cultist leaned across the counter, grabbed his collar, and pulled him into a kiss.
Okay. All right. She was one of those cultists. Got it. Got it got it got it. Wow. Definitely a "mediocre husband" convert, those were easy to seduce away with a little warmth and affection—nothing obvious, but get them infatuated with the idea of an unattainable incorporeal ideal lover and they'd chase him to the ends of the earth. Maybe a lesbian in denial that Bill had decided to push further into denial, if her assumption about Bill's gender was anything to go by. He tried to remember what he'd told this one.
He leaned into the kiss.
He'd done this before—in dreams, in puppets—he didn't prefer humans, but he could handle them well enough and earthlings had such pretty eyes. And this body he was stuck in made such insistent demands; a surge of human hormones washed over his brain so powerfully it made him dizzy. She broke the kiss to murmur, "Cipher, my lord—" and he took the opportunity to kiss her eyelid and lie, "I knew if anyone could find me, it would be you." He wished he remembered her name. She tugged his face back down to her lips. She was so eager. Cipher, my lord. Oh, it felt good to be revered again—
The door opened. "Um?"
If Bill had had one ounce of his power, he would have killed Wendy on the spot.
Instead, he seized his cultist's hands, ripped them off his hoodie, and shoved her away. "Whoa, lady! What do you think this is, a kissing booth?!" He laughed angrily. "We don't offer that kind of service here! Either get out, or—or buy a souvenir already!" He pointed at Wendy. "From her. Not from me."
Shocked, the cultist turned toward where Bill was pointing; and then turned back, understanding in her eyes.
Wendy raised her hands defensively, grimacing. "Yeah, no, I'm not serving you either. Just... get outta here."
The cultist met Bill's gaze for just a moment, then walked quickly out the door without a word.
Bill shouted after her, "And do not come back!" and quietly mourned as, for the second time in as many weeks, he had to watch helplessly as he sent away his only hope of getting any action/rescue.
"I am so, so sorry," Wendy said. "I leave for like ten minutes and you get one of the nightmare customers."
How Bill loved nightmares. "Twenty-five minutes, but who's counting."
"Psh, shut up." Wendy reclaimed her post behind the counter. "I think she's been here before, she looks kinda familiar. You okay?"
Bill hoped nobody else in town would recognize her. "I think I'll live after some mouthwash. Terrible breath." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Hey, remember when you said you owe me one? You really owe me."
####
All his cultist had written for him was a phone number. Bill slid his stolen journal from its window hiding spot and copied the number down in two-tone dots and dashes. Plaintext transcriptions were usually tricky, given the vast difference between the language Bill wrote in and the languages humans used—but numbers, at least, were easy. Everyone had numbers.
And then he stared at the scrap of paper, reading the numbers over and over, until he was sure he'd memorized them, just in case he ever lost the journal.
And then he ate the paper.
And then he stacked the two cushions of his makeshift bed on top of each other, planted his face in them, and screamed.
Cipher, my lord. It had felt so, so, so good to be revered again.
His organs twisted with touch-hunger and loneliness.
####
Out in the Bahamas, along the southwest edge of the Bermuda Triangle, were two nut job hermits from Miami. Bill had convinced them that the only way they could purge their sins and purify their souls was by sculpting and selling golden avatars of God into which they could pour their guilt, and they had to keep doing it until they no longer felt guilty (and they would never not feel guilty; they needed so much therapy that Bill had ensured they'd never get). And then he'd convinced them that God's true face was an Eye of Providence in a top hat and bow tie.
Over the years he'd lost a little control over those two—in their desperation to be free of sin, they'd also started sculpting avatars to as many gods as they could find and selling them en masse to afford more art supplies—but hey, as long as his face was still mixed in with the rest, fine. Honestly, he was surprised those nuts weren't dead yet.
Somebody in this house had sent his location to them. And in a moment of what Bill imagined was stunning mental clarity, they had passed on that information to the single least dysfunctional pocket of Bill's top cult in the continental United States. Maybe when Bill was back at full power, he'd drop by the hermits' dreams to tell them they'd finally achieved absolution and could rest. Their decades of out-of-control scrupulosity would probably prevent them from believing him, but hey, he could say he'd tried. He washed his hands of all responsibility over them and their mental illnesses that he'd knowingly deliberately exacerbated for his own benefit. Not his problem.
But the question he came back to, over and over, was who had talked to them.
Bill needed to reach his Death Valley cultist. He needed a phone. Every phone in this house was well-guarded. No one would let him touch one... except, perhaps, whoever had sent the SOS on his behalf.
The only person who made sense was Stanford. Bill didn't think he'd ever told Ford about the nutty sculptors; but in the eighties he had given him the mailing addresses of some niche art dealers who would sell tapestries and statues of an obscure one-eyed god to collectors who could appreciate what they were looking at. Maybe Ford had gotten back in contact with them? Maybe he'd told them where Bill was, and they'd passed the information to the Bahamas?
Maybe Ford's feelings weren't quite so cold toward Bill as he'd been pretending.
Bill liked that idea a lot.
Maybe Bill's birthday gift had swung Ford back around to the side of reason—reminded him just how good he'd had it under a muse and mentor willing to teach him anything his nerdy little heart desired. Or maybe he'd always wanted to come back, and had just needed Bill to say it first.
He probably only pretended he hated Bill because they were surrounded by enemies—everyone in the house thought Ford was looking for a way to destroy Bill, what would happen if they knew the truth?
But the truth was there. Bill could almost seize it in his hands. All those moments where they almost talked like they were friends again, before Ford had to stop himself and leave. That one beautiful little word: jealous. And of course, there was the whole thing with the glass pyramid and the "Mysteries" that Ford had passed on—
—to Mabel.
There was another possibility.
As much as Bill would love if it was Ford, Mabel was the only person in the house who acted like she actually wanted Bill alive. Whatever "Mysteries" Ford was teaching her had something to do with Bill, the pyramid made that obvious. Maybe his lessons included the contact information of everyone else Ford knew who knew Bill? Maybe she'd taken it upon herself to call for help?
It was thin. And it was still dependent upon Ford harboring a secret loyalty to Bill that he was passing on to his great-niece. But that was where things stood: Ford was the only person in the house who definitely knew how to reach Bill's followers, but Mabel was the only person in the house who definitely might want to.
And he had to make completely sure of which one of them it was before he asked for a favor.
####
Ford had missed dinner again.
Fiddleford had sent Ford home with a pile of math. All the calculations he'd done to get the miniature particle accelerator to produce Dontium. By his reckoning, that there jar should've filled with Dontium faster than greased lightning; he just plumb can't understand why it trickled in like cold molasses. (His words.) He'd asked Ford to check his work, see if he'd missed something.
Ford was more than happy to help. It was a much-needed intellectual challenge that didn't involve Bill's underhanded birthday gift. Something that would let him feel like he was making progress. And it was comfortingly familiar. He and Fiddleford had spent weeks checking and re-checking each other's math in the lead up to the portal test, before they knew what a horror they were building.
As soon as Ford had gotten home, he'd put Fiddleford's papers in his underground study before going back to bed. Bill had already admitted he could glimpse the future, although Ford wasn't sure how far; and Ford was growing convinced that Bill's ability to perceive "higher dimensions" let him see through walls like they weren't there. He'd begun keeping Journal 5 and other sensitive materials down in his study at all times, hoping that the distance and layers of dirt and rock would keep Bill from peering in.
And when he'd dragged himself out of bed around noon—an embarrassingly late hour to get up, but he had been awake most of the night—he'd grabbed a quick breakfast/lunch, brewed a pot of coffee to take with him, and gone below to get to work.
He'd only worked seven or eight hours with a couple of reluctant breaks in the middle before his head began pounding too hard for him to ignore. He'd been neglecting his exercise regimen the past few weeks, and his back and neck were letting him know. In his thirties, he'd been able to work fourteen hours days and still want to keep going—and that was even before he'd handed his body over to Bill so he could keep working around the clock. He wasn't as young as he used to be.
He dragged himself upstairs after sunset, when the last ambient light from the sky still faintly glowed through the windows. He could make something quick and simple for dinner, go to bed early, and get up early to continue working. He pushed through the door to the dark living room—
"Hello!"
"Gah!" Ford jumped. "You. What are you doing here?"
Bill was leaning next to the door, a dim silhouette with his elbow on the wall and cheek in his hand. Even in the dark, Ford was sure he could see Bill's wicked grin at his reaction. "I happen to live here."
Ford let out an irritated huff. "Whatever you're up to, I don't have time to deal with it. Find someone else to bother." He pushed past Bill and headed toward the kitchen.
It would have been too much to expect Bill not to follow him, wouldn't it? "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that! Would it kill you to act like you're happy to see me?"
"Probably."
Bill's laugh made Ford's shoulders raise up around his ears. Maybe that was the source of his neck pain.
Bill shadowed him into the kitchen and leaned on the table, watching while Ford rummaged through the fridge. "But seriously, Sixer—who are you trying to impress by giving me the cold shoulder? I'm the only one here. You could afford to treat me like a person for two minutes." When Ford slammed the fridge door, Bill smacked it with the tip of an 8-ball cane. "Hey, have my food privileges been revoked? Give me a turn."
How long had Bill had a weapon? Ford snatched the cane from him, but opened the fridge and left it. "I don't consider you a person. I consider you an incalculably destructive force of pure, brutal chaos." He cracked three eggs in a skillet and opened a cabinet for one of the stove knobs they kept stored where Bill couldn't reach them.
"Flattering!" Bill started pulling out his usual nauseating array of condiments: today was sauerkraut, maraschino cherries, mustard, ranch dressing, and barbecue sauce. (Why did he eat like that? Did his species usually subsist on a mostly liquid diet? Was it the flavors—?) "Hey, make me mac 'n' cheese, wouldja?"
"No."
"Fine. Leave the burner on when you're done, I'll make it myself."
"You're not allowed to use the stove."
"Then how about I sit here drinking mustard while you enjoy a hot meal." Bill waved three eggs at Ford. "At least make me eggs too. Zero extra effort on your part. I'll even crack them for you if you want."
Ford gave Bill a dark look; but he supposed, as one of the people who had agreed that Bill wasn't allowed to cook, he was in no position to complain about Bill begging him to cook on his behalf. He snatched the eggs out of Bill's hand. "How do you want them."
"I haven't eaten enough chicken eggs to have a preference. Whatever you'll complain least about doing."
Poorly scrambled eggs it was. Ford shut the fridge and returned to the stove.
Bill sat on the table and crossed his legs in lotus position while he waited. "But really, what do you get out of pretending you can't stand me! We both know it's an act."
Ford gave him a tired, sour look. "Even for you, you sound delusional."
"I know you don't really hate me."
"I could write an entire dissertation and earn another Ph.D. on the topic of how much I hate you."
Ford hated how excited Bill looked by that. "Would you?"
"No! Why would I waste that much time thinking about you?"
"It seems to me like you're already doing that."
The hair on the back of Ford's neck prickled. Surely Bill just meant Ford's research into how to kill him; but his mind flashed to the miniature grimoire he'd spent all his time poring over—the blueprints of Bill's childhood home—the face he'd absent-mindedly drawn in his journal in the middle of the night and quickly scribbled out. Could Bill still see through that face? Had Ford remembered to blind Bill's eye on the blueprints? What about the eyes drawn in his human faces? Did Bill know about Ford's other studies? What did it matter—nothing Ford was doing was wrong. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Bill's smile slowly widened. "Sure you don't. You might hate me to my face, but behind my back you're as obsessed with me as ever. You might as well lean into it."
You're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private. "I am not..." Wasn't he? You're acting like a stalker, Sixer.
"Oh, Fordsy, come on." Bill uncrossed his legs, slid off the table, and was across the room faster than Ford had expected. Ford instinctively took a step back and bumped into the oven; Bill reached past him to lean a hand against the edge of the stove, inches from touching him. "You're not hiding it half as well as you think you are. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He smirked up at Ford, exposed eye wide and eager, utterly fascinated with him. "And bringing Mabel in on it? I'll have to admit, that surprised me. Can't say I disapprove, though."
Ford couldn't tell if the heat on the back of his neck was from Bill's accusations or the stove. "I beg your pardon?" What was he talking about—their conversation in Portland? The blueprints of Bill's home? (Using his great-niece to spy on Bill, lord, what was Ford doing?)
"Quit messing around! The Mysteries, Stanford. You think I don't know I'm the star of that show?" He poked the center of Ford's chest, "There's no way you joined a cult, you're not enough of a team player! What'd you do? Invent your own cult of one? Mixed a little of what I taught you, a little of whatever you learned out in the multiverse? I know you were asking around about me." Bill chuckled. "You want to keep your little rituals private, fine—I think it's cute, really—just tell me one thing I've been dying to know: how much have you told the kid?"
Ford stared at Bill.
Then he laughed in his face. "You really bought that?"
Bill's smile immediately vanished. "What?"
Ford shoved Bill's hands away. "There are no 'Mysteries.' It was a joke."
Bill stepped back, staring at Ford, brows furrowed. "A...? No," he said. "She's got that glass pyramid—"
"She wanted it because it was pretty," Ford said. "I gave her one since I was throwing them all out."
"That's the stupidest story I've ever heard. Then why would she have brought up the Mysteries!"
"Because," Ford said, "I told her, if you asked about the pyramid, she should make up something to confuse you."
Bill's mouth was open, but no words came out. His face had rapidly turned red. Several emotions flashed across his face in quick succession, from shock to confusion to humiliation to a rage so deep it almost looked like disgust. For a moment, from how Bill's fingers were curling like claws, Ford was sure Bill was about to attack him.
But then he clenched his jaw, backed off, leaned on the table, jammed his fists down against the tabletop, and glared at the floor.
Ford turned back to the stove, grinning to himself. Some of the eggs had burned slightly. Those were Bill's now. "What's the matter? Did you forget that humans can lie?"
Bill didn't reply.
"I'm surprised you didn't expect it. I seem to remember we got you with an impressive whopper last year—"
"Shut up."
"Now you don't want to talk?"
"Now you do?"
Good point; he didn't. If he'd finally rendered Bill speechless, he should enjoy it while he could.
He'd have to thank Mabel later for inventing the Mysteries. Sometimes that girl could be genius.
Ford turned off the burner, put the stove knob away, and dumped the eggs onto two plates. He didn't even bother to keep track of which plate had the burned eggs.
He shot a quick, exasperated look at Bill—he'd sat on top of the table again—and dropped a plate next to him. "Here." He grabbed a bag of bread and looked around for the toaster.
Behind him, voice trembling but low and dangerous, Bill said, "Don't look at me like that."
Ford glanced back warily. "Like what?"
Bill violently shoved off the table. There was an awful squeal of sliding furniture. Before Ford could react, Bill was in his face, grabbing him by his turtleneck, dragging him in, forcing him to look up at Bill.
Ford's peripheral vision was filled with gold. They were so close their noses nearly touched.
"Like you don't remember who I am!" Bill stared down with wide-eyed seething rage. "Your muse!" His voice cracked, "Your god!"
Ford stared up at Bill, speechless.
Then he looked down.
Bill was standing on a chair to make himself taller than Ford.
Ford ripped Bill's hands off his sweater. "You were never, ever my god."
Bill stumbled off the chair, catching himself hard on the edge of the table to keep from falling completely. "That's not true!" He heaved himself back onto his feet with a wince. "You worshiped me—"
"I admired you!" Ford jabbed a finger at Bill's chest. "I respected you! I—I even idolized you, but I never worshiped you!"
Bill jabbed a finger back, "You're splitting hairs! You practically turned your study into a temple to me—tapestries, rugs, statues—"
"Because you said it would help me reach you!"
"And it did! That's what shrines are for, genius!"
"It wasn't a shrine! Not to me."
"You're kidding me! All the money you dropped on that gold-plated statue and you expect me to believe that wasn't an act of worship—"
"Do not. Remind me. How much. That stupid statue cost."
"If you didn't build a shrine for worship then what in the world did you build it for!"
"Friendship!" Ford took a shaky breath in. "I thought... I honestly thought you—you—were my best friend." The air in the room trembled with heat. They were standing too close to each other. Ford refused to be the one to back up.
"I was," Bill said. "I still could be if you'd stop being a moron."
Ford laughed in disbelief. "Which is it, were you my god or my friend?!"
"They're not mutually exclusive—!"
"You can't keep your story straight for THIRTY SECONDS!"
"Don't you call me a LIAR, after EVERYTHING I taught you—!"
"In all the years I've known you I don't think you've told me the truth ONCE—!"
Stan flipped on the lights.
They froze and stared at him. They had their hands around each other's throats. Bill had a foot planted on Ford's stomach like he was trying to get a foothold to climb him. They were both covered in egg.
Stan said, "Could you do this in the morning?"
Ford said, "Sure."
Bill said, "He started it."
"I st—?! You started all of this thirty years ago—"
"Guys," Stan said tiredly.
With some effort, Ford unpeeled his hands from Bill's neck.
To his surprise, Bill voluntarily let go as well. Ford snatched up what was left of his plate of eggs, took the loaf of bread—he had lighters, he could toast it downstairs—and left the kitchen, turning the light off as he went.
Stan was waiting out in the entryway. "Heading to bed?"
"No." Ford shoveled a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "Going to be up late." He was too angry to sleep. He could eat, take a painkiller for his headache, and keep working.
"More research?"
"No. Calculations."
Stan's shoulders slumped; but all he said was, "Suit yourself. Don't stay up too late."
Ford glanced back once into the kitchen. Bill wasn't moving. He sat slumped in a chair, elbows on his knees. He'd pulled on his hood. Its eye stared at Ford.
Ford wasn't about to pity Bill over a performative display of angst. He'd fallen for that already.
He returned to his study and mathematics.
####
Bill stared at his plate of eggs. He mechanically pushed them around on the plate until they formed a perfect equilateral triangle. He scooped out an empty white eye in the middle.
He stood, snatched up the plate, and smashed it on the floor.
They thought he was stupid. They thought he couldn't use a stove if it didn't have knobs, as if he was a child! The humans made it easy for themselves to think of him as a child when they treated him like one, "baby-proof the doors" and "no sharp objects" and "don't talk to strangers." He could show them.
He grabbed the stem where one of the knobs had been removed, and twisted. He heard the hiss of gas under the burner. Everyone was asleep. He could fill the house with gas. It would only take a little push to make a spark and set the entire shack ablaze. In the dark room, he could see the first glimpse of future flames flickering yellow-orange in the periphery of his foresight. No one would survive. Who's your god now, smart guy? He'd rise like a phoenix from his own corpse and he'd tear this town apart.
Where was Mabel?
Was she home tonight?
Bill turned off the gas.
He pushed up his sleeve and pressed the fleshy part of his forearm onto the still-hot burner. The pain burned away his jumbled anger so he could think clearly.
Who cared how the nutty sculptors had gotten Bill's address? He was making good progress on lucid dreaming; maybe he'd astral projected across the country to call for help and forgotten it when he woke up. He'd probably saved himself without even remembering it. It didn't matter. The important thing was that they'd received the message; and now, Bill had friends on the outside. Friends who were on his side.
If he could ever contact them again.
Bill would find a way. He didn't need Ford's help. "Never worshiped you." Ha.
He needed fresh air. Even if it wasn't safe to escape yet, he needed to breathe. He carried himself backward through doorway into the gift shop, pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof—
The trap door was shut. He stared up in despair.
He shot a glare toward the vending machine, and angrily crossed back into the living room.
The air was so stuffy inside the shack. "Never worshiped you." Liar. If it wasn't worship then what was it?
Bill took himself upstairs. Hunger gnawed at his stomach. He lay on his makeshift bed curled up around himself, arms wrapped tight across his stomach, his burn pressed hard against a layer of knit yarn, thighs pulled up against his arms. It was a wholly alien position. It felt unnatural and bizarre. This body had curled like this of its own volition. It seemed like the only thing that briefly smothered the ache of emptiness and the hormonal inferno screaming loneliness through every vein. The loneliness wasn't his. He wasn't lonely. This body was.
Cipher, my lord.
He hated this body.
He ached to be revered again.
####
It was two in the morning. Ford sat at his desk, pages and pages of math scattered before him, glasses off, hand rubbing his eyes.
He didn't want to be checking a mountain of math like a human calculator. He wanted to be studying strange magic and researching new anomalies. He wanted to be digging through Bill's grimoire.
He wanted to be awed again.
####
(I've been waiting to write/draw Bill screaming his grief over not being worshiped since literally April. I hope y'all enjoyed! This is one of my favorite chapters so far, I'd love to hear what y'all think!!)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#grunkle ford#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher#(*immediately edits post because i forgot the brick pattern on Bill's hoodie*)
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Cherries, from fruit to pit. Atoms. The sun, every day. Worms. Mulch. Perspiration. The moon, every night. Me. You.
Rebirth.
The various cycles of life and death.
<GoodTimeWithScar> fell from a high place.
——————————
EXPLODES THE DOOR ITS HSBB TIMEEEEE This is my piece for @minecraftbed's incredible fic "Gaussian Blur" in @hermitshippingbigbang :D
Go read it for the full context of the comic (and details if you can spot them!) heheeehehe I love it sm and had sm fun doing the comic! The concept is so cool and the feels are KSALDHTHRGRRHRH (please i have been losing it)
SO *grabs you by the shoulders and throws you directly at it* gogogogo 👉👉👉👉👉
#dddaily4sherin#day 212 too YIPPEE#hermitshipping#scarian#desert duo#hermitblr#my art#comic#HSBB 2023#i am srs i am throwing you towards the fic like hurling a brick DO IT NOW#also rain my beloved i found a new way to draw it and experimented with it a bit here :D#this event is so fun i swear. ty to all the mods AND THERE'S MORE TO COME SOOONNNN#also toby no crocs L#also*2 the shipping is there but its really more of a “almost but not quite what are they romance” as the tags say in the fic#its such a perfect description LOL#scar please not the goddamn basement
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thinking many thoughts about in this vid
schlatt is so pathetic when he cant see, the little “i cant” whine has me bricked. (around 9:15) i just keep imagining blindfolding this 6’3 behemoth of a man and turning him into a subby mess <3
the way ted whispers and asks if he’s a “nice boy” while holding his chin (at 9:30) is so ughhgh. soft dom ted supremacy.
#in def writing ab this#im bricked.#cleanup on aisle my pants!!!#im wet just thinking about it#jschlatt#schlatt#jschlatt x reader#schlatt x reader#jschlatt fanfic#jschlatt fic#schlatt x reader smut#jschlatt x reader smut#schlatt smut#jschlatt smut#ted nivison smut#ted nivision#ted nivision smut#ted nivison x reader#ted nivision x reader
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and a yellow moon glowed bright
Years later, when Ivypool herself is only a memory and before she’s completely lost to time, she’ll look over ThunderClan, wherever they might be, and still look for her daughter in every face.
The stories have it wrong already, and the truth will be dust before long. Bristlefrost isn’t alive in their memories. She’s twice-dead, drowned in black, choking water, a light snuffed out too soon. Bristlefrost was the prodigy — the daughter cats dreamed of, the first to find her voice and her paws, the leader of her siblings, the apprentice who did not graduate even earlier than she did because there was no prey in the forest to be found, not because of any failings on her part.
Cats starved, that long winter. Not Bristlefrost. Never her daughter, her clever, resourceful last-born. And she had once occupied this spot, designated for deputies, even though she’d never had an apprentice of her own. Would never have an apprentice of her own, now, even though she deserved it more than anything. Even though she’d deserved to stay deputy, but had given the role over with a smile, no hint of dark ambition in her gaze.
Ivypool steps into the deputy position under a brand-new leader with a whisper instead of a bang, the pounding of blood in her ears the only reminder that cats had been here before — that cats had died here before, and that Bramblestar’s first deputy becoming leader was a fluke, an odd quirk of fate. It hasn’t been done in living memory, nor long before that. Leaders do not usually step down, and when they do, they rarely stay with their Clan, or even within reach of their territory. First deputies do not often become leaders in turn. Usually this event is a bittersweet one, with a body or bodies laid out in the clearing, their eyes closed swiftly to avoid the rigor of after-death, but this is almost-peaceful, with only the murmurs of those who could not easily accept change as detractors.
Ivypool will die long before Squirrelstar. She’s—surprisingly okay with this, but she thinks she’s been at peace with her death since before Hollyleaf had stepped between her and a deathblow from one of the only friends she’d ever had.
(“You were my friend!” Ivypool screams in her worst nightmares, Hollyleaf’s blood dripping from her pelt.
“I was never anyone’s friend,” Hawkfrost murmurs in return, something aching-sad in his voice, Hollyleaf’s lifeless form pinned under his claws. “I was born to what I am. We’re the same, you and I.” He pushes the black cat away from his paws with disgust — not for the body, but for Ivypool herself. Blood bubbles from the horrible wound at the corpse’s throat. “She should have been the one,” he says sometimes, in the ones that shatter her already pieced-together heart. “She died in your place.”
“I know,” Ivypool says, and she does know — she knows it more than anyone else alive.)
“It should have been Hollyleaf,” she says to Squirrelstar, quietly, at the end of one of their dusk meetings.
Sorrow flashes in Squirrelstar’s gaze, but it’s buried as soon as it comes. “It’s you,” she says. “It has always been you.”
It is not a truth — not in the way Ivypool remembers them from her childhood — but it is not a lie, either. Hollyleaf chose her, in the way dying deputies might choose their successor. She is always an echo of another cat burned by starlight. It is a comfort, sometimes. In others, she begs the spirit who’d saved her life for mercy, for clemency, until she runs out of breath.
(“I’ll find her,” whispers a voice Ivypool had almost forgotten, in dreams she forgets as soon as she wakes. “I’ll walk the skies ceaselessly, I promise you.”
But there is no bringing Bristlefrost back, and a part of Ivypool has died with her.)
When Ivypool wakes, her Clanmates breathe around her, steadying her rabbit-quick heart. Fernsong’s tail wraps snugly around her flank, Thriftear curled only one nest behind, and she does not lose her breath at the way Flipclaw’s dark tabby stripes curl over his spine. She hasn’t in a long time, she knows, but the impulse is there, sharp as ice underneath her ribs.
(She’d once thought his brown tabby pelt a punishment from the stars. She loves her son, would give her life for him, but the feeling that StarClan may have meted some punishment down in the shade of his pelt remains long after he’s received his warrior name.
She’d begged Bramblestar to give him a suffix that was as unassumingly kind and silly as her son always was. Instead he’d given him -claw, as if to remind her of her failings. She is not sorry to see his form slip into the elders’ den, bereft of the nine lives he’d once so jealously hoarded.)
#ivypool#thunderclan#bristlefrost#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#brambleclaw#bramblestar#flipclaw#thriftear#fernsong#waca#warrior cats#wc#wc fic#thunder spoilers#ivypool's heart#i wrote this a while back and then the erins punched me through a brick wall with that super edition announcement#and i have to wonder if they're using 'heart' because they're trying to erase the OTHER 'heart'#which. yeah. yeah.#crazy how that works#work in progress#if they fridged a woman to fridge another woman i'm going to riot
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SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'm GROVELLINGGG I'm chewing my walls this is my gayest moment I'm like going insane holy FUCK
#WHAT THE FUCKKK#holy shitting bricks#MOMMY? SORRY. MOMMY? SORRY. MOMMY??#THE LAST ONE?!??!?!!??#paige bueckers#basketball#wbb#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers x reader#this isnt okay#im so fucking gay#lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian#gayyyy
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disco ninja frog and bancho house wife
this was so cosmically funny in my head I had to manifest it into drawing form (30 minute speedrun)
#god hopefully no ones done this yet#I read a whole essay someone made about how Yu is no where near as homophobic as yoosk is but still likely is homophobic#and honestly? love that#every fic makes Yu out to be like. this super in touch with himself guy or atleast far more aware of his feelings compaired to Yosuke#im not really a shipping person (other then when its funny) but I love souyo on account of “closeted homophobic guy in 2008 realizes things#which I can relate to. not the 2008 part but the homophoic to homosexual pipeline#and whats better then a dense homophoic guy who doesn't come to terms with his big fat crush on his aibou in a game about#coming to terms with the parts of yourself you dont like or dont want others to see?#TWO dense as bricks homophobic guys! In the TV you two go to discover your feelings!#god its just such an interesting dynamic. even more so when you throw in Izanagi and Jiraiya#souyo
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more valentino PLEASE 🙏
How does the saying go, "i want this man in ways that are concerning to feminism"?
I was thinking of how Angel used to live in V Tower and, how fucked up would it be for him to receive a good morning text from Val to head up to his room, and AD is thinking it's a booty call, but it's ACTUALLY Valentino being a manipulative piece of shit
Angel comes into the room and Valentino is already half or fully naked but like, he's not hard or anything and Angel is confused? The moth is just, chilling naked smoking with this satisfied look on his face? And Valentino just, gives him some menial command to run him a favor, and he pauses mid-sentence to turn and call out YOUR name before regarding his Fizz Bot, "Kitty, why don't you make my baby a drink?" and you're just like, slinking out from under the covers, ashamed that Angel now knows you slept with the Overlord, let alone someone you know uh, treats him pretty fucking poorly (although I imagine not like, the entire entire brutal extent of it, also, Angel Dust using Reader as a shield against Val because they're both calmer when you're around)
Could you imagine some scenario, platonic romantic it doesn't matter, where like. Angel is talking to Valentino and he sees you in the corner of his eye and he just stops mid sentence, does a double take, looks at you half naked in his boss' bed, and Val forces him to focus and carry on the conversation while he's crying. Angel is just all but sprinting out of the room by the time he's dismissed and Valentino may even play fucking mind games to make him like, MARINATE in how horrible this makes him feel. Valentino is dragging out the conversation and putting on his nail caps or doing his skincare routine at his vanity and making Angel sit there and wait as he's deliberate dragging on his sentences and constantly pausing but if Angel moves to leave Val snaps IMMEDIATELY. So Angel is just. Forced to stand there.
VALENTINO TALKING TO Y O U, MAKING YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ANGEL AND THE REVERSE. Valentino being manipulative and awful and shitty and doing shit like "so Angel baby, I was gonna take a trip to the spa tomorrow, mhm, and also hey you're coming too *looks at you* so Angel what do you think we should get my other amorcito over here done?" the evil bastard is making you two talk to each other, about each other, when you're both like, IN TEARS
Angel, trying to hold on to the last shreds of his sanity: s so... h have you... ever had a facial before
Valentino pausing from doing his mascara with the biggest shit eating grin on his face: oh yeah, someone just had a really, really BIG one
Reader, happily getting drunk off the drink Kitty brought you because it helps take away the pain of this entire interaction: a. .. a massage or something might be nice
Valentino, doing his contour: but baaaabe, I thought you told me you were shy about who puts their hands on your body. Are you trying to make me jealous?
Angel, desperately trying to ignore Val blowing you a kiss and you clearly having bites and hickies alllllllll over you like there wasn't a single inch of you the moth didn't put his hands mouth or otherwise on: uh huh! Cool! So! Guess we can! Decide later right! :)
Valentino, doing his nails: wrong 💅 I also need you to
And the mf is just doing that shit for like 20 minutes straight which doesn't SOUND like a lot but when you're standing there just talking and waiting and, especially having a moment like THIS, it's just DRAGGING ON, and when Angel finally leaves, you're crying, and here's Valentino, "awwww, pobrecita, come here, what's wrong?" and hugging you and you need the comfort and you're drunk and, now maybe you're just a little scared he's the only person you have left....
Also. Bonus round for the angst. Can you imagine. Angel runs off and it's you sleeping with Valentino that finally hurts him so much he's finally RUNNING running away, meeting Charlie, having another place to live. He's still working under contract but the second his shift ends he's out of the studio without another word because... he can't protect you anymore. He feels like this is his fault. He failed Molly and now he failed you and he's worthless and trash and an addict loser-- meanwhile you're beating yourself up because you've lost your only friend down here and also your biggest supporter and Valentino all but lovebombs you (and the worst part is, it's genuine and if you reject ANYTHING, he's getting Offended Bigly)
Ugh. Ok. I'm sorry. Finally finishing the post with one more thing. Valentino is definitely the type to give you expensive gifts and he doesn't actually care about the amount of money he spends on you BUT, will use the fact he's spent so much money on you to manipulate you IN A HEARTBEAT
And also. You're not allowed to reject gifts because it sets him off in like 5 different ways. "Oh so my gifts aren't good enough for you?" "Do you have any idea how much I spent on this?" "I TOOK THE TIME to get this for YOU" God forbid if it's something custom. Could you imagine he offers you something and he doesn't immediately tell you it's custom, like he's got sketches in a notebook somewhere, this is MADE WITH LOVE ableit his creepy obsessive love, and you could literally have a very polite "oh my gosh I couldn't that's so expensive I, I don't deserve it, wow" where you're obviously very happy but just shocked and feeling guilty, like a FLATTERING rejection that is obviously an insult to YOU, NOT him, and he's just. The switch fucking flips. His head tilts. He lets out a hum as his smile pulls way too tight. Lashes out within seconds. Grabs you. takes that jewelry or watch or expensive thing he bought you and literally forces it onto your body, and he's not screaming or raising his voice, he's getting right up in your face and growling out the deeeeeetails of how he got this for you until you're crying and apologizing for your ingratitude
Ugh he's so cunty and mean and awful UGH WHY WOULD I LET HIM HIT, he would use that heart shaped belt he has to put heart shaped welts on your ass and then set your cute bruised heart covered butt as his phone wallpaper and your icon in his contacts and save your name as Ropebunny or something rhfkcsbfkhdxkfh
#yandere hazbin hotel#yandere x reader#valentino x reader#hh#yandere hellaverse#sinprompts#i actually started thinking of an idea where val calls reader bunny but funny enough bunny reader x val fics exist! kudos#in my idea reader isnt a bunny but jokingly calls themself the energizer bunny after val comments on them fidgeting while serving him#he starts calling you bunny so then he has 'his Kitty and his Bunny' fndkcbffjf#ive also thought of scenarios where valentino accidentally breaks kitty and forces reader to be his new servant and keeps it that way#like can you imagine. kitty gets fixed and val STILL has you wait on him lmao. reality hitting you like a brick wall
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sometimes it's too late for help.
#tmnt#tmnt 2003#my art#it's a scene from a fic I read somewhere#it hit me like a brick in the face#give poor donnie a hug#he needs it
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Psst psst.
Orc!Nanami meet cute idea: where
you're standing by him waiting for a chance to use the printer. He's just beside you trying to mind his own business. Trying desperately to not be creepy. Coming across instead as an inanimate wall.
Just then an overenthusiastic intern crashes into you rushing from one side of the office to the other. You lose your balance and fall to the side straight into Orc! Nanami. His cat like reflexes mean he already has his arms open. He catches you smoothly, blinking at you in shock. You were in his arms. He could never in a million years believe this would be real. But you were in his arms. As the intern boy apologised profusely, you waved him off with a, "No harm done".
Then, un-entangling yourself from the massive orc beside you, you chuckled sheepishly and joked, "Looks like I fell for you."
Nanami Kento does not believe he survived that day in office. Regardless of the fact that he would have many more frequent chances to hold you in the future.
^orc!nanami kento when you fall into him
#the intern is yuuji#leave him alone#he doesnt always understand his size.#hes smol#hes a baby#and he helps you with orc nanami also#because youKNOW THAT MAN IS A BRICK WALL#he would never admit his feelings#thats just the way it goes bruv#anonimusunnoan#jjk#nanami kento#anonimuswritings#kento nanami#jujutsu kaisen#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#orc!nanami x reader#orc!nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanamin#nanami fluff#fluff fic#fanfiction#orc#jjk au#orc!nanami au#meet cute
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aftg au where andrew is a bartender at an arcade bar and neil is a regular who's there to play pac-man every wednesday
#neil has a high score to maintain#andrew keeps trying to talk to him but its like talking to a brick wall so one day he challenges neil to a game#andrew loses but neil is now intrigued#plot twist: the foxes are a dnd group that meet their every monday#*there#the way i have so many fic ideas and zero energy to write any of them#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard
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Only You Can Cool My Desire
[WC: 6K | Gale Cleven/John Egan, Tough And Sweet AU, Summer, Heatwaves, Ice Play, Blow Jobs, Light Dom/Sub, Teasing, Orgasm Delay]
“Gale,” John gets out, wriggling where he’s trapped beneath Gale’s arms. “I’m cooled down, please, can you–”
His plea breaks off into a curse when Gale lets the ice cube in his palm slide onto John’s stomach, watching as it settles in the dip of his belly button, John’s skin so fever–hot that Gale can immediately see the smallest pool of water beginning to form.
“You’ve been whining about being hot all week,” Gale says, pressing his lips to John’s thigh, feeling the muscle twitch at his touch. “I’m just helpin’ you out.”
[AO3 LINK]
#tough and sweet fic#wotasummerevent2024#johnslittlespoon fics#clegan#EEEP gale pov finally here AND the wota summer writing event finally commences!! so so excited to see everyone's fics <33#this has been so fun to organize and i'll make a proper post about it later once more fics have been submitted but!! so proud of everyone#bricking it as always esp writing in gale's pov for the first time in the tas universe but i hope it feeds you gale pov askers well :')
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Kinktober Day 1 - Voyeurism
Kate Laswell x Bricks (CIA Asset OC)
CW: Dub-con/Non-con voyeurism (one person is not aware they are being watched), surveillance, sex work, dirty talk, degradation, impact play, daddy kink, too many mirrors, too much setup and an abrupt ending, big dogs
“Got me Watcher?” Bricks covers the movement of her mouth by touching up her lipstick in the mirrored wall of the elevator.
“Coming in clear,” Kate answers. “Go ahead and run a final calibration on the lenses.” She marks the edges of the camera range as Bricks sweeps her eyes in a practiced pattern to confirm the fit and function of the contacts. When she crosses her eyes and sticks her tongue out, confusing the feed, Kate chuckles. “Save it for Mendoza.”
“Please,” Bricks snickers. “My best is wasted on him.”
The doors open. Two large men, Mendoza’s bodyguards, usher Bricks forward. Real professionals, Kate notes, neither of them letting their eyes linger on stunning legs or exposed cleavage. One waves a wand over her, hair to heels, and the other takes the clutch from Bricks’ hand. He rifles through it, then doesn’t give it back.
“My second best lipstick is in there,” Bricks protests, half-heartedly. “I’m gonna want that back, later.”
“You’ll get it back when you leave,” the man grunts. “Come with us please.”
“Give me doors,” Kate instructs as they proceed down the hall. The cameras flick almost aimlessly as her asset strides between her escorts, but Kate is ready. “Left again,” she murmurs, quickly tagging frames for review. “Good girl.”
Once Bricks is handed off to Mendoza, the real work starts. Dinner goes as expected. Mendoza brags and paws. Bricks is charming, flirty, and teasing. She plays every bit of her part while Kate half listens and reviews data on the guards. Contractors, she notes as Bricks titters about something. Mendoza is just oggling her tits, so Kate continues reading the dossier. Contractors, good ones. Ex-military, but unlikely to see Bricks for the threat she is. The only problem will be-
“Puppies,” Bricks coos, as two Rottweilers come trotting up to the table. “I love dogs. How old are they?”
“They’re trained as part of the security detail,” Kate states as Mendoza goes on about pedigree. “German commands.”
Bricks kisses one of the dogs on the snout. “Do they know any tricks?”
“They’re trained killers,” the mark brags. “Only listen to me and designated handlers.”
“The handler command is folge mir,” Kate provides. Luckily, Bricks isn’t able to comment on her abysmal accent. “Ruhig. Geh runter.”
It doesn’t take long for Mendoza to send the dogs away, tired of not being the center of attention. And Bricks plays him like a fiddle, drawing him all around the penthouse to give Kate sight lines, the layout, and an unobstructed view of the server room through the kitchen.
When he finally catches her, Kate cant help but snort. “Is he as bad a kisser as he sounds? Your not usually this all over the place."
Bricks doesn’t bother to hold back a soft laugh. Mendoza lifts his mouth from her neck with an almost affronted grin. “What’s so funny?”
“Sorry,” she giggles, with a peck to his lips. “Ticklish, and I just feel good with you.”
“Can I make you feel better?”
“Here’s hoping,” Kate mutters as she counts server racks in Bricks’ periphery. The woman’s laugh rings off the marble counter tops.
Kate doesn’t bother watching the feed as Bricks kisses Mendoza down the hall, eyes closed to avoid any chance he might notice her contacts. When she opens her eyes again, Kate stifles a groan and pulls out her cigarettes. Mendoza’s bedroom has an entire wall of mirrors, and another on the wall above his headboard. Bricks kisses him some more, but in no time, she’s bent over the bed, looking at her own breasts nearly spilling from the top of her dress.
She’s there for… a lot longer than Kate expected. Whatever Mendoza is doing, she looks as bored as she ever does when she’s in character. Kate decides to step in when she moans, rote.
“Oh no,” Kate chuckles, grinning when Bricks’ eyes snap to her reflection. “I know you can do better than that. If I have to watch you have sex, you’re going to make it worth my while. Get that ass in the air, lets’s see if Mendoza can’t be good for something.”
Bricks’ next moan is much more resonant. Mendoza echoes her as he bends over her back, no doubt pressing his cock against her barely there panties.
“Ask for a spanking,” Kate commands, lighting a cigarette. “Ask nice, the way I like.”
“Please spank me, daddy,” Bricks moans, holding eye contact with the mirror, staring directly at Kate.
“Good girl, there you go,” Kate purrs, over Mendoza’s tiresome noises. “Too bad he’s going to be such a shit lay. You’re right, your best is wasted on him. Say thank you.”
Bricks hisses after Mendoza gives her three quick, sloppy strikes. “Thank you, daddy.”
“Fuck, you’re a slut, huh?” Mendoza flips her, and Kate laughs to see the mirrored tiles on the ceiling. “I can be your daddy, baby girl.”
“I’m tired of hearing his voice,” Kate scoffs. “Put his mouth to use.”
Bricks opts to grab a fistful of his hair and drag the man down her body. Kate gets to enjoy the view of her, chest heaving and disheveled as she winks up at her reflection. There’s no rolling eyes - there’s nothing of interest in the room, really, and Mendoza is apparently all noise and no skill.
“Touch yourself,” Kate commands. “Give yourself a show, beautiful.”
Bricks draws the fingers of her free hand down her neck, toying with her necklace before pushing the fabric of her dress down beneath full breasts. Kate makes an appreciative noise when she pinches a nipple. The woman in the mirror moans and arches her hips into the mouth between her thighs. Her eyes go half-lidded, when Mendoza pulls away to pant against her, one hand working its way up to prod at her. He groans something about “wet” and “tight,” like he had anything to do with the first and doesn’t understand the implications of the second.
“Please,” Bricks moans at her reflection.
“Oh,” Kate chuckles, “Is he really that good?”
“Roll over,” Mendoza growls as he stands. He’s dropped his pants and underwear.
“No,” Kate snorts. “I’m not watching your bored face as you compare him to Ghost. Ride him.”
All it takes is one skilled twist of Bricks’ hips before Mendoza is lying on his back, groaning under the woman Kate could command to kill him at any moment.
But Kate simply sits back in her chair. “Finish him off before I finish this cigarette, and I’ll let you come.”
Bricks narrows her eyes at the mirror. Kate can almost hear her calculating how long it’s been since she heard the click of the lighter. And then she balances on the balls of her feet and Kate grins as she watches the woman tear Mendoza’s orgasm from him with brutal efficiency.
“Good girl.”
#kinktober 2024#kate laswell x oc#kate laswell#oc: bricks#smut and thirst#kink fics#hahahahaha this was not short#i'm really not built for very short stories#but i wont stop trying#in my head Mendoza's not even the main guy#hes a means to an end#and kate will utilize her asset to get to that end#okay i'll stop rambling
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Me, a fool: im gonna use Torbek for the “Used as bait” prompt :)
Episode 22: *Torbek makes/is the subject to a fucking “Master Baiter” joke*
Me:
Me: I am no longer using Torbek for this prompt
#i probably still will let’s be honest#but I had completely forgotten about this joke#so it hit me like a ton of bricks#especially since I was just scrolling through Pinterest#not paying attention to the episode#and I tuned back in to hear Frost say ‘Torbek is a master baiter’#and I had to pause the video and double check my word doc to see if I assigned Torbek the used as bait prompt#which I did#and now I’m regretting#how the fuck am I supposed to write an angsty fic if all I can think about is a fucking masterbation joke!?#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#torbek
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vc insp
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If you all don't stop treating fanfic writers like content factory workers I'll write a whole really sad fic about it and kill off the MC in the end and shove the fic down your throat.
And don't even get me started at the entitlement of some readers, I'm👏not👏your👏fucking👏servant
It's really getting ridiculous out here.
#I've had other acc where the comments/kudos on fics were way higher#like they were pretty shoddy but they were in like a same sized fandoms#I wouldn't even care if you just said “wow this is shit” because I'd know I have an audience and not a brick fucking wall#tim drake#batman#jason todd#bruce wayne#batfam#dcu#red robin#red hood#dick grayson#fanfic#ao3#ao3 writer#archive of our own
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