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Here’s one silly scene for you about Gakushuu having a little (Freudian) slip of the tongue, as he’s thinking about Karma (who he is not crushing on, dammit, he’s not!)
The setting: The student council of Kunugigaoka high is meeting to plan some kind of a spring event. It’s a beautiful spring day, and Gakushuu’s mind is strangely wandering. He stares out the window at the blooming plum trees and for some reason he just keeps on thinking about Akabane…
“…so, should we use the beginning of The Pillow Book for that? What do you think, Asano-kun?” one of the girls asks.
“Hmm?” He glances at her. “Well, it’s definitely a classic. Why not.”
“How does it start again?” someone asks. “Something about… early morning being the best time in the spring?”
Gakushuu sighs. How do they not remember this by heart? “Haru wa akabane,” he says.
There’s a moment’s silence. “What?” Ren breathes then.
Gakushuu frowns. Shouldn’t Ren of all people know this? “Haru wa aka—” he starts to repeat but pauses, his mouth open. What did he just say? “…akebono!” he exclaims. “Haru wa akebono! In spring, the early morning! Don’t you all know that?”
“You… did you say Akabane?” Araki asks slowly.
“Of course not! I said clearly…”
“Haru wa Akabane,” Ren says with a grin. “So spring equals to Akabane for you, huh?”
“You’ve a crush on him or something?” Seo asks, incredulous.
Gakushuu denies that quite vehemently, but in vain. Some of the girls look like they might start crying. It takes a while before they can focus on planning the event again. The idea to use The Pillow Book is scrapped.
(Okay, so, I confess: this scene is based on me suddenly forgetting the word akebono cause Akabane was the only word coming to my mind >_>)
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Posting on AO3 is like, I'm doing this for myself, but also immediately refreshing the page every 5 seconds to see if you get any hits comments or kudos. But totally only writing for me.
#ao3#I legit have fics I just never posted an only wrote for myselft#then decide to share#and just all composure goes out the window#I need to have that feedback#I can't be on any social media but tumblr for this reason
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(By trope-specific i mean for example all the slash fics hosting websites, or the nsfw-only ones, etc)
#fics#fanfiction#ff#fanfics#livejournal#ao3#ff.net#tumblr#btw my first was efp#than mainly ff.net and finally ao3#i have never used wattpad and only half glanced at lj#by trope specific im looking @ you nocturnealley#what can i say it was like 2012#bnha#naruto#jjk#hp#fma#atla#anime#polls#hyperspecific poll#the art of making polls to poll#10k notes
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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"Who do we know that did drugs? I got it!" Batman said, calmly.
Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne stood in the Batcave, looking over some data on the Batcomputer.
Dick: None of us have done drugs or made drugs, but we need someone who's versed in it. Who?
Bruce (excited, sudden realization): I got it! Call Jason!
Dick: He blocked you again?
Bruce looked a bit sheepish, but quickly recovered.
Bruce (defensive): You’re not calling him?!
Sighing, Dick reluctantly pulled out his phone and dialed Jason’s number. Jason answered, but before Dick can say a word, Bruce suddenly knocked him to the ground and snatched the phone from his hand.
Bruce: Are you still friends with Roy? We need to learn how crack is made. We’re tracking someone!
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. Then, Jason started laughing—slowly at first, then breaking into fits of uncontrollable laughter. In the background, a weary sigh can be heard that isn’t Jason’s.
Jason (laughing, catching his breath): I’ll ask him. Hey Roy—
Roy (in the background, exasperated): Fuck you!
Jason (chuckling, responds to Bruce): I think he can help us.
Bruce: Oh, thank God.
Dick, now back on his feet, glaring at Bruce with a mix of annoyance and disbelief.
Dick: You could’ve just asked for the phone!
Batman: Get over it.
Roy: You know I was on heroin not crack!
Batman: I will send you $6,000 if you are honest with me and tell me you at least know how it's made.
Roy (huffing as Jason laughs harder because he knows what's about to happen): Okay, you're going to need a pen.
#batfamily#batfamily fanfiction#batman#jason todd#dick grayson#roy harper#yes roy harper was addicted to drugs#don't worry jason only laughs to show he loves roy#i know roy is annoyed but it's all out of love#batfamily shenanigans#batfam shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#batfamily funny#batfamily comedy#headcanon batfamily#roy harper and jason todd#roy haper and jason todd#roy harper arsenal#microfiction#flash fiction#script fic#batfamily fluff#dc fanfiction#batfamily flash fiction#writers on tumblr#batfamily wholesome#batfamily adventures flash fiction#batfamily adventures script fics#batfamily adventures the series#batfamily adventures microseries
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patience and indulgence.
early access + nsfw on patreon
--
(hey i drew this comic in collaboration with the very talented author prettyunhinged, who wrote an amazing fic to go along with it!!! please leave a comment and kudos if u read it, it's so perfect >.< but also do look at the tags first lmao )
#i drew this comic based purely on vibes and asked nira for help on dialogue#and then she went and wrote an entire fic like im literally the luckiest person in the world <3#ghost spends this comic sticking his tongue down soap's throat#and also. other areas#but yes erm this is genuinely the only page i can post onto tumblr without getting sniped#happy early valentines day!!#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#cod mw2#ghostsoap#giragi art
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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as much as I love the common "Tim worships/stalks Jason" trope in TimJay fanfiction because it's Good and making Tim a weird little freak is Fun, I think the underutilized dynamic is where Jason is the one weirdly obsessed with Tim and makes it Tim's problem.
Like, the moment Jason is confronted with the information that a third Robin exists, the first thing he does is cover his wall with pictures of Tim so he can just obsess and torture himself over it. That is the behavior of a man who is Unwell over Tim's existence and I love it.
red hood: lost days #4
And as much as a shitshow as The Titans Tower Incident™ is characterization-wise (though I think it has far more merit in depicting Jason's character than people give it credit for but I digress-) there's something very fun about the fact that even after kicking his ass, Jason respects Tim and is impressed by him.
teen titans (2003) #29
And on top of that, Jason can't seem to stop trying to ask Jason to Tim to work with him in some capacity.
robin (1993) #177
batman: battle for the cowl #2
While Battle for the Cowl is an exceptionally bad comic, especially for its characterization of Jason and the "be my Robin" bit is taken deeply out of context, I do think it's interesting how obsessed Jason is with believing that Tim is extremely competent, only held back by being "brainwashed by Bruce". (hence him leaving Tim for dead later on in the comic.) Jason seeing a darker side of Tim and wanting to bring that out of Tim, wanting to see what Tim could be if he let go of his loyalty to Bruce is so fun to me, tbh.
And in Robin #177, Jason seems genuinely upset Tim doesn't want to work with him. Jason sees such a raw potential in Tim and is obsessed with it, constantly wanting Tim to work for him and see Tim be the type of person Jason is. And despite Tim rejecting him, Jason doesn't shoot to kill Tim. I just cannot get over the fanfic potential of Jason obsessing over Tim, tracking him and seeing what he's capable of and what he could be capable of. Wanting to make Tim see things the way he does. To Tim it's corruption, to Jason it's freedom. Tim trying to 'save' Jason is fun and all, but Jason trying to corrupt Tim? That's even more fun to me. Watching that power struggle between them, Tim unable to get Jason off his heels as Jason gets more and more possessive and bold with each attempt.
And when Jason sees Tim successfully get Gotham back under control after a gang war, he's impressed. He praises Tim, even. And then Tim just. Breaks him out of prison.
robin (1993) #182
The way they're constantly trying to see something in the other that isn't there, hoping the other will come around? That is the most fucked up hate/love dynamic ever. Jason keeps coming back to Tim, keeps trying to find ways to get Tim onto his side. They're always chasing each other. And I think Jason would be the one to confess love first, the one to do anything to make Tim his. And when you consider after all of this, Tim has his Red Robin arc and is at his lowest, getting the closest he ever gets to considering murder? I think it'd be so fun to see Jason take advantage of that and worm his way back into Tim's life and finally push Tim over the edge.
#jaytim#timjay#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#batcest#necrotic festerings#for the record i could've continued showing examples if i delved into the new-52#but this is meant to be entirely a pre-flashpoint meta analysis of their dynamic#but in the new-52 jason explicitly says tim is the only member of the batfam he likes and they work together regularly#but new-52 also ate ass with tim's characterization so i cannot use it in good faith on this post.#my first tumblr meta on this blog and i'm feeling stressed about putting my thoughts in the open won't lie#one day i'll come back to the titans tower incident and expand on my thoughts on why it's not as bad as ppl make it out to be#dare i say. it's mostly in character for jason minus the ridiculous robin suit and some of his grandstanding#but that debate is for another day#fyi anyone can take this stuff as a prompt/inspo and run with it for fic pls go wild#someday i'll probably write my own take on it too
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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most of the polaroids i drew for operation walburga's arbitrary no kissing ever rule in collaboration with erins_escapism on insta who made the fic into the most beautiful bind <333
If you want to see all of 15 polaroids and also erin's binds you can find them both on my insta!! (courfee_)
#There are 5 more that i made but tumblr has the 10 images maximum thingy#jegulus#jegulus fanart#marauders fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#marauders#regulus black fanart#james potter fanart#starchaser#sunseeker#regulus x james#marauders era#jegulus fanfiction#fic: operation wanker#hp#mine#my art#*#Gods those binds is just. So fucking pretty you dont understand#I keep looking at them and screaming and grinning#Anyway these polaroids are a big part of the reason why i havent made much art recently#They may just be monochrome purple but making 18.5 drawings even like this still takes a lot of time and energy#Honestly mainly energy#I only have so much drawing capacity#And especially since right before i startrd i did the jeggy kinktober thing i just reached a limit eventually and had to take a break
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So so so... I'm sick, and for whatever reason my brain decided that this is a good time to start writing an amnesiac Asano fic. I've so many other fics in the works that I don't know if I'll ever continue this, which is why I decided to post it here before it gets buried and forgotten in the depths of my computer. Mainly I just had this one scene in my mind, and wanted to use this chance to have Shuu say something to his father.
But yeah. Here's a little untitled fic snippet for you, about 1000 words.
One cold December morning a boy woke up. He was lying on his back in a bed, and he remained there a good while, absolutely still, staring at the ceiling. Gradually, the frown on his face deepened.
Where… was he?
He sat up, looking at the room. A desk with schoolbooks on it, a bag on the floor, clothes set ready on a chair… were those his clothes? He touched them, hesitantly. There was something familiar about them, true…
Still confused, he decided to dress up. Whatever was going on, better not to face it in the pyjamas.
He gave the desk with the books one more glance and slipped quietly out of the room. The empty corridor behind the door was quiet and gloomy. He swallowed and started walking it down, instinctively stepping as quietly as he could. He took careful peeks into the rooms he passed, but there was nothing familiar in them, nothing to solve this mystery.
Ah, a toilet. That might be a good idea, no matter what was going on.
As he was washing his hands, his eyes fell on himself in the mirror, and he paused. Wait, was that what he looked like? Strawberry blond hair, violet eyes… He blinked, touching his cheek. Yeah. That was him.
Him…
He… who was he?
“My name is,” he started to say to his mirror image, but no name came to his tongue. “My name is,” he repeated more strongly, but to no avail. Nothing. His mind was empty.
His heartbeat sped up as he stared at himself, trying fervently to think. Who was he? Where did he come from? What did he do, what did he like?
He didn’t have a clue.
Also… what was this place he was in? His home? That would make sense, but… he pushed the toilet door open and shot a careful glance around.
This didn’t feel like home.
He didn’t know where he was, but he did know that he wanted to get out of there.
He came down the stairs, making his way slowly through the house, trying to spot a single detail that would seem familiar. Nothing. Step by step his nervousness rose, and he could feel his breath getting caught in his throat.
In the kitchen, there was a man sitting by a table, drinking coffee while reading something on his laptop. The boy paused at the doorway, wondering if he shouldn’t just go on, but the man had already noticed him. He gave the boy a curt glance.
“Sleeping late today, Asano-kun?” he said.
The boy blinked. “Asano… kun? Is that my name?”
The man lowered his coffee mug to the table, frowning at him.
“Is this some kind of a joke? Or are you implying you’re going to leave the family and pick a different name? Well, you’re free to do that once you’re an adult. For now, as long as you live in this house, you are still Asano Gakushuu.”
There was a long silence as the two stared at each other. The frown on the man’s face deepened as he looked into the boy’s eyes that reflected nothing but honest confusion.
“What are…?” he started to say, but the boy shook fervently his head.
“Are you serious? That’s my name? What the hell… why am I called ‘study’?”
“It’s written with the kanji for learning and excellence, you know,” the man started to explain, his tone hesitant, but the boy (Gakushuu? What the hell! He would not be called that) cut him off again.
“If that really is my name, I think I am gonna change it! It’s ridiculous!”
He was growing increasingly agitated. What was going on here? Was he caught in some strange nightmare? This house that made him so nervous, not to talk about this man… and that ridiculous name. This couldn’t be real.
“I’m dreaming,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. “This got to be a dream…”
A chair scraped against the floor as the man stood up. “Are you truly trying to say you can’t remember anything? Gakushuu?” A hand touched his forehead and he instinctively drew back. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring straight into the man’s. That unblinking, piercing stare made him feel cold inside, and he took another step back.
“Or is this some plot of yours?” the man went on, but he couldn’t really pay attention to what he was saying. Being so close to this man… made him even more nervous than this house. “What are you planning to accomplish? Amnesia is a serious matter, not something to joke about!”
“Who the hell are you, anyway?” the boy spat out, ignoring everything he had said.
The man paused. As he stared at the boy in front of him, the sterness on his face gave way to hesitation. “I… I’m your father,” he said then.
“No.” The boy denied it firmly, unhesitatingly, without even pausing to think about it. “No, you… you can’t be.”
“But…” Now the man seemed to be at a loss. Something about that amused the boy, but even so, he couldn’t help being on his guard. This man was dangerous. He knew that much.
“But,” the man repeated and swallowed. “If you don’t remember, how could you know…?”
“It doesn’t feel right,” he said. “I just can’t… can’t believe that you…” He shook his head. “There’s no way that’d be true. You’re not my father. Can’t be. You’re someone… I...” detest, he was about to say, but his voice trailed off. Was it a good idea to antagonize this man?
The man stared at him long and hard, his face utterly unreadable. “Wait here,” he muttered then. “Wait. I… I need to make a phone call.” He left the kitchen, fishing out a phone from his pocket.
The boy waited a moment, tiptoed then out and peeking into the living room, saw him standing by the window, talking with someone on the phone. Good. This was his chance.
Moving as quietly as he could he headed to the front door, put on shoes (interesting that there were clearly several shoes that could be his), grasped a coat and slipped out.
Leaving the house behind he finally felt like he could breathe again.
(tbc??? who knows, if I get inspiration)
(eta: check the reblogs for Toufu's art! ^^)
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Ah yes. When the protective dad-figure beats up the son-figure's past tormentor only for said tormentor to make a point(?), because the tormentor is the catalyst of Gotham's chaos, and seeing two pieces of the debris from said chaos come together to try and be less broken is amusing. The butt of Gotham's joke, if you will.
I just felt like illustrating a scene from a possible future Harvey-Jason-centered fic...
#tw: blood#tw: injury#Now. Whether I write the fic or not is different.#I have it planned.#As well as more drawings for it...#IDK. We'll see.#Joker's speech here is actually longer but for art purposes I had to essentially paraphrase it.#I know a lot of people on Tumblr fucking hate Joker while a lot really love him.#I'm in-between TBH. I see both sides. I mostly enjoy him. But also indifferent. You do you!#But I do admit that the idea of Harvey beating up Joker for Jason is self-indulgent for me. Hehe.#harvey dent#two face#joker#jason todd#<- IK he's only mentioned. But.#two-dads au#fanart#dc comics#fake screenshot#reginalususart
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some of the sillies with long hair and also more human John <33
#izel I know you were summoning the fic writers for the stuck in the rain prompt. but alas. I’m only human.#artists on tumblr#malevolent#malevolent fanart#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#john malevolent#oscar malevolent#detective noel#noel malevolent#private eyes
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Sam gives farmer a crocheted flower bouquet because he's allergic to flowers hehe :)
#guys help he's too cute for this world#why are there only like. 20 to 30 fics of him in sam/reader#I need my food#I need to hug him too#stardew valley#stardew valley sam#sdv sam#stardew valley sam x farmer#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#artwork#stardew valley fanart
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it was a nightmare
comm for my friend dove's fic!! u can find it here, DEF worth a read!!
#i accidentally posted the version without my signature on twitter Oops. signed version for tumblr only i guess FGHVBJK#theyre so meant to be (i say with a million ships for them both) theyre soulmates#i cant even put a fancy novel of words to this like just read the fic ull understand. its so fckgn good#think abt the anastasia dream seq on the boat while u read it. salutes u#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#sebek zigvolt#silsebe#silbek#sebesil#suntails
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he knows
When people ask him what changed his mind, why he's back in Beacon Hills instead of at the fancy FBI job he earned through merit and luck, he just smiles and laughs it up. Insists this is how it just worked out. That the job was good, and being in the field was surprisingly easy for him, but the remote research work landed on his lap once and he realized he'd much rather do that. Working the field was great, but being able to actually spend time with his old man gives him more joy.
The old ladies call him a good man, tell him he's such a good son, and share their own turmoils with him. The old men sneer at his choice until he lets slip just how much he makes, and then they're singing praises, too.
After a couple of weeks, the noise dies down. He is no longer the novelty, the townspeople ready to move on to the next new, shiny thing that catches their attention.
What doesn't die down is whatever is spreading inside him. The burn under his skin is licking up towards his heart, coming out through his pores, charring him to immobility as the sun dips down and comes back up.
After week three, he's unable to move from the bed, and none of their research is bringing about any clues. No one knows why this is happening to him, and they have all accepted this.
That he is going to die. There's no coming back, no cure for this sudden illness that has taken him. None of the books that Deaton provides, that Lydia translates and pours her time into, have a single clue.
It's not as painful, if he's honest. Not now. It was at the beginning, the heat sudden and startling, the pain that comes with it bright and unending. But he's been with it for a while now, gotten used to the constant warmth. A false sense of security.
The only thing left for him is to stop feeling altogether. At the rate his body is shutting down, it's not too far, now. Another day or two, maybe three if he's unlucky.
He's said his goodbyes. Told his father to keep on living, to not only honor the memory of mom, but his, too. There's grief laced in each of their interactions, each word spoken with a weight that brings tears to Stiles' eyes and a tremble that rocks his father's body. It's an ugly sight, and it so happens to be his last. Nearly his last.
His dad's a strong man, he'll survive. He's enlisted the help of Lydia to do so. Asked her to be the child he'll not get to be for him. Through teary eyes she had agreed, and he's watched the two of them get closer in their quest of trying to heal him, and then grieve him. She's like the daughter he never had, and she is good for him. Stops him from drinking alcohol and makes him healthy food, even when he refuses to listen, and Stiles can do nothing but lay on his bed as the voices float up from the kitchen.
Scott and him never did resolve their differences. Scott's been a part of his life enough to warrant him a last goodbye, and despite everything that has happened, Scott promised to him to be there for his dad. He promised many things, but has delivered none, and has only been by to see him on day one — when Stiles had allowed Lydia to bring in the McCall Pack to help him cure himself.
It's as if Stiles being dead was an accepted outcome for him, and Scott has grieved him to the point of utter indifference since. If he's grieving in silence that's another thing, but for now, Stiles isn't dead. People do come in and see him.
Lydia, of course. His dad. Jackson flew from London to come see him, and he hasn't left since, feet set like stone in Beacon Hills, despite the final acceptance of their failure. Isaac came with Jackson, and it's so silly, he thinks, that being on the verge of death can bring together people you would never see in one place by choice.
Kira has stopped by multiple times, as have Malia, Liam, Mason, Jordan, and surprisingly, Hayden. She insisted he's a hero, and cried while hugging him.
Scott hasn't come again. And, honestly, it's not as bothersome to Stiles as someone else not coming in to see him.
Cora has face-timed him, and Peter was there, he knows. The two of them were there, and when he'd asked about Derek, Cora had snapped out, "He's an idiot," while Peter had calmly told Stiles, "He's determined."
Stiles is smart enough to put together the fact that Derek has been pursuing his own leads to find the cure, but he'd hoped that once the finality of his situation reached him, he'd see Derek one last time.
He wouldn't burden Derek with the knowledge of his own feelings. Wouldn't confess like in the fairytales, and hope for a true love's miracle. Stiles is honest to himself these days, and he'd rather go with unconfessed feelings than burden Derek, because somewhere in their interactions, Stiles has developed a pure hatred for anything that could even remotely hurt Derek.
He supposes this is love, and how ironic is it, that this is the most intense feeling he's ever had, and he can't even speak aloud about it?
So he lounges in his bed, waiting for the light to take him. Each time he closes his eyes he knows he's closer to never opening them again, and tonight, as he hears Lydia turn the pages of a book, and Jackson walking outside in the hallway, and his dad sobbing in his own room, and Isaac cooking, he just wishes tonight's the night. He cannot have the people he care about clinging onto false hope.
He closes his eyes, and behind his eyelids, he sees his family. He sees his mom, beckoning him; his parents, smiling, as he runs towards them for a family hug; Lydia, when she told him she loves him in the Jeep, and the night when he came back, declaring that he's not supposed to leave her, ever; Jackson and Isaac laughing at his expense, but not in a mean way, instead enjoying each other's company like the friends they've become these days; Derek, as the last time Stiles saw him, smiling softly at him while he rambled on about the way he convinced the FBI to let him join the mission that saved Derek's ass.
He remembers, with immense clarity, the moment he realized he's in love with Derek. The heartbreak of saying goodbye to him, of watching his brows furrow at the clear lie of, "You should go," and hesitant step forward he'd taken before realizing it.
He'd said, "You should go or Cora will leave," and left the, "I want her to," unsaid.
He sleeps, and wishes to dream about a world where Derek didn't leave and things happened differently. Where somehow, they found their way to each other, and Stiles never got ill like this.
Instead, he dreams about a purple light guiding him to a tunnel that simply looks white, like that is all there is.
He follows.
He doesn't wake up, again.
At least, that's what he thinks — until his eyes open and he's face-to-face with —
"Derek?"
*
The whole place is white. The only splash of color exists on Stiles himself, his clothes rumpled with sleep, and on Derek, whose jeweled eyes are shimmering with unshed tears and sparkling joy.
"Derek, what the hell did you do?!"
Derek doesn't deem that a question worthy of replying. Instead the werewolf picks him up and hugs him so tight Stiles worries about not being able to breathe, and then realizes, with a startling clarity, that he is not in pain.
Still in embrace, he asks, a little choked up, "Why am I not in pain?"
Derek takes an exaggerated sniff before reluctantly pulling back and fixing him with a look that screams of resplendent joy, but also like he's waiting for a reprimand. He says, "This is Bardo."
Stiles stills. "Bardo," he repeats. He's dived into enough books to hear what Derek is leaving unsaid. Bardo is where spirits go after dying. It's an in-between space for spirits with unfinished business, one that opens only on a land with a Nemeton on it. Beacon Hills fits the criteria for it, and Stiles the criteria for having wishes he didn't get in his life, but he doesn't... He doesn't fit the other criteria. "Derek Nobody Will Tell Me What Your Middle Name Is Hale, that place — which apparently is this place, what the hell — is for supernatural spirits. Me?" He laughs, humorless and frantic. "I am not a supernatural creature. I'm just a human who used to run with a Pack."
Derek's worry melts away into nothing, as if Stiles would miss the fact that for Derek to be here, he has to be dead.
"Don't think I don't understand that you're dead, too! Deliberately!"
There. That is the face of a chastised puppy. "But it worked?" Stiles squints his eyes and motions for Derek to go on, who sighs but complies with the command. "The illness that took you was a Supernatural fever, last recorded with a Spark centuries ago. I tracked down the journal —"
"Wait, hold on, Spark? Where have I heard that word..." The Vet clinic, years ago. The Kanima in the club. The mountain ash line that never should have formed because there was much too less of it to complete the circle. As the realization hits, he closes his eyes and rests his fists against them. He isn't ashamed to let out a scream of rage as well.
When he lets his arms fall back down to his side, Derek takes one of them and starts rubbing comforting circles on the back of his hand. "You are one," he says softly, like he's trying not to spook Stiles with the declaration. Like Stiles' world didn't just shift irrevocably as he put the pieces together. "I don't really understand why your powers never unlocked, because traditionally speaking they should have kicked in your teen years. With the added clusterfuck of those years they definitely should have. They did not."
Again, he laughs humorlessly, and gives Derek a "duh" look. "Our lives have rarely dared to be traditional." He thinks back to all the awful things that have happened over the years to him, but mostly, as Derek put it, in those years. The Nogitsune was definitely the worst thing to happen to him, and holy shit. "Do you think it chose me because of my power? Rather than her?"
Derek doesn't answer for a moment. Then he says, "I think that is why you survived. Because of your Spark."
Oh. That... makes sense. Sort of. But that is the past, and they're in the present, and they're in fucking Bardo of all places. "Derek, I think I really need an explanation. Like right now. Including why you thought killing yourself was the best fucking idea."
Derek winces, but he also looks determined once Stiles' glare eases off of him. And they're still holding hands, which he realizes with a warmth he actually enjoys feeling. "When I got the call, I had an inkling... So I followed my instincts and ended up at probably our oldest vault."
"You knew what I am." He doesn't even feel angry. Somehow, Derek knowing a thing about him that nobody else does (and he is not counting Deaton as a factor here at all, that cryptic asshole), it feels nice.
Derek uses his free hand to tap at his chest, once, twice. "Instincts," he says, with the same effect as saying, "Werewolf," like he once used to, as if that was the answer to everything. "This illness confirmed it for me. I found a journal at the vault that belonged to that Spark, and in it, he detailed how the illness felt, how it spread, and how within weeks he could do nothing but lay on his cot." Derek swallows, his voice turning rough with choked up emotions. "Stiles, just reading it was so awful. I can't imagine..."
Derek Hale doesn't cry. He feels deeply, and he cares even deeper, but he doesn't cry, not in front of people.
But Stiles is not most people, and he is aware enough to know that he is, for some reason, one of the people who is most important to Derek. So as Derek breaks down at the idea of Stiles' suffering, Stiles reaches forward and brings his arms around Derek.
"I'm here," he assures, over and over again, until the words are stronger than Derek's shaking. "I'm right here," he says one last time, and stays close to the man he loves most for an indeterminate amount of time, silently not-breathing together.
Stiles breaks the silence with, "I love you, you know?" He had promised to not say it to Derek. To not burden him. But here they are, in Bardo. Together. A Pack of two who would do all that is possible and all that is not to protect the other. Derek deserves to know he is loved.
The way Derek's arms tighten around him says he doesn't know. And when Derek pulls back, just a little to stare at Stiles like this is unbelievable, Stiles pulls him back in by grabbing his hands and putting one on his chest, the other on his face. He kisses the inner palm of the latter, and smiles brightly. "Never thought I'd say it. Especially once I was on my deathbed. Still hate that you chose to die with me, but I'm hoping you have a plan, and you deserve to know. You're amazing and I love you, Derek Hale."
The smile he gets is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and Derek presses forward until their foreheads are resting against each other's. "Samuel," he says.
"Derek Samuel Hale? Samuel like Sam and Dean's grandpa?"
Derek does a snort-chortle thing, then says in the small space between them, "Shut up, Stiles."
"Shutting up."
The silence stretches, and they stay together, seizing the moment. Who knew Bardo could be peaceful? Except...
"Our escape plan? See, I'd love to explore you biblically anywhere and everywhere, but I would much rather do it on —"
"Stiles."
Derek's look of scandalized horror makes Stiles laugh until he's being hauled off in his strong, muscled arms like a sack of potatoes and starts walking. "I don't know why I love you too."
"This is just sexy. I don't think you know what you're doing to me."
"I can still smell your arousal, Stiles. I know."
"You know loads of things. What else do you know?" He says it in a simpering, sexy voice, and then giggles as Derek stumbles a step before balancing himself.
"I know how to escape. We need a bed, yes? So stop distracting me and let me do my thing."
Stiles is just glad he is already in Derek's arms, because otherwise he would have swooned and fallen into them.
The escape plan is easy and a let down, if he's being completely honest. What they need are:
A Spark's Belief ✅️
An Alpha's Roar ✅️ (When did Derek become an Alpha again?)
An Anchor on The Other Side ✅️ (Peter)
An Incantation That Derek Has Memorized ✅️
To Stand Where The Veil is Thinnest ✅️ (Derek's instincts strike yet again)
All in all, it is very anti-climactic, and very dirty as they end up materializing in a clearing near the Nemeton which is muddy. Peter looks one look at them and says, "Finally."
Stiles isn't sure if he meant it for them coming back or for Stiles and Derek finally confessing to each other. Either way, Peter hands them clean clothes and agrees to drive them back to Stiles' house, where apparently everyone is in a panic because "Stiles dissappeared."
"It's only been like, an hour or something," Stiles says, confused, as he changes into the clean t-shirt while Peter faces the other way and Derek stares, unabashed, much to Peter's verbal disgust.
Peter takes a break from chastising his nephew to say, "It's been 72 hours."
Huh.
"We should get going then," he says, and Peter sighs.
"If only you could ask my dear nephew to rein in his urges."
Stiles throws Derek a glare, who rolls his eyes but obliges. However the glare the turns into an appreciative look over Derek's abs, and Peter throws up his hands.
*
Acclimating to having magic is easy when he already has an anchor. Derek's presence is both wanted and needed, and despite Scott's insistence that another Alpha cannot stay in town, Derek stays as long as Stiles does.
Two weeks pass before Stiles calls back his boss and lets her know that he's now alright, and then he's promptly being shipped off to another state for a case. Everyone has already congratulated him on both being alive and doing something about his pining, so they throw a simple dinner on his last night in town and Stiles watches, with amusement and fondness, as all the people in his heart mingle with easy conversations and banter.
Peter chooses to stay in town to reconnect with Malia in person, while Cora deems it better to go back to her Pack in South America. Lydia and Jackson leave together for London, but Isaac decides to stay back.
When Stiles asks him why, he says, "Liam needs a good mentor. His control is weak. I can help him, plus, Derek needs a pack."
Stiles raises an eyebrow. "Liam is Scott's beta," he says.
"None of them have a pack bond," Isaac fire backs, and oh.
Derek must have heard the conversation, too, because he comes over and claps Isaac on the back, proud and all smiley, and Stiles can't help but lean in to kiss it. To taste the constant joy off of Derek's face, to give him his own in return. The action is met with Derek's soft moan and a ring of disgusted groaning from the others, including his dad's.
Stiles laughs after he pulls back, and looks around at the lot of them. There's tragedy woven into all of their lives, but there's also happiness.
Who knew getting ill would lead to this? To re-founding a family?
Maybe Derek knew, the bastard. Loveable bastard, though.
#sterek#derek hale#stiles stilinski#sterek fics#teen wolf#sh.writesonmain#*sterek fic recs#my laptop still isn't fixed so for now this is gonna stay on tumblr only#i'll put this on ao3 later#sh.writing
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