#ffvii stuff

[makoheadrush]

I have a MAJOR software rollout this week at work and am in the office every single day, 10-12 hour days. On top of that I injured my rotator cuff - again - while lifting weights last week. I swear, I am a danger to myself. And maybe others, but mostly myself.

Anyway, I am very much enjoying playing FFVII Rebirth on my new PS5. Caught myself a chocobo last night, even. xD

If I get through this week unscathed, I’m going to pick up where I left off on some writing. Mostly want to continue my Legendary Turk backstory, which I’ve been working on for….oh, years. Whatever. It’s still there, and so are my RP blogs. All dusty, but they’re mine and I’m not going anywhere. Even if work and life eat into my fun time WAY too much these past few years. Still trying to find the time to do all the things.

[leonawriter]

Genesis Rhapsodos

First impression

Man I met Genesis SO long ago now. Uh. I wasn't impressed. I don't think I liked him. Funny, huh?

Impression now

Stinky man, wet cat bastard. Birdbrain. Love him to pieces because he's a piece of shit [affectionate] and he has SO much room to change. Now. If they'd just. Bring him back.

Yeah though I think I once said that if you play through Crisis Core you get to see what working for Shinra was like as one of their dogsbodies. Because that's what Zack WAS. A glorified dogsbody - Zack the Puppy.

But if you look at the story from Genesis' point of view, you see a man who realises that he'd been working for the company that destroyed his life and made him and his two friends into monsters before they were even born, and because of circumstances entirely outside his control, he's going to die a slow and painful death. Now he can either accept that death and die quietly, or go out with a bang and take everyone else with him, Shinra most of all.

Genesis is the revolutionary who kickstarts so much of the plot. Second only to the founders of Avalanche/whatever resistance there was in Wutai. We only don't see him that way because of forced perspective, and the fact that he's imperfect and he was a desperate man who wanted to survive.

Favorite moment

I don't know if I like "trips Zack with his foot" or "Gets rejected by his goddess by way of the Stern Look of Disappointment and is only given more life to Reflect on his Wrongdoings while being made into a Weapon" more.

Idea for a story

If anyone looks at my FFVII posts from a few years ago or my AO3, they'll see a lot of Genesis fics. But, hm... I'd say for a new one? Probably something that has him appear during the Remake/Rebirth timeline.

My old main fic To Change A Sombre Morrow ironically had him time travel into the past, and I used to have a lot of fun imagining him dimension hopping, so... anything like that, too XD

Unpopular opinion

I'm not really aware what the popular/unpopular opinions are right now? Hm. I used to have some ideas about his family - that he didn't intend to kill his adoptive parents in the first place (he has a hair-trigger temper so he probably went ballistic and regretted it really quickly), and/or that he and Angeal were effectively basically like half-brothers through Gillian. The second because I've always been a bit confused by how all that worked, but also... If they were able to resolve things peacefully, it would have been sweet.

Favorite relationship

Mostly because of a bunch of fics I read, Cloud. Although considering that I hc Cloud as aroace I never shipped it, exactly (even when I tried). What I took from them was that I liked the way they bonded over being the only ones who could remember the way SOLDIER, Zack, and Sephiroth once were. Like PTSD buddies who sometimes make each other better and sometimes make each other worse.

Favorite headcanon

This dude is autistic. So very autistic. Special interests galore. I think I saw a few other things over the years that fitted but yeah. Entire autism right there. Probably ADHD to boot. Does he know? No. Does he care? Not as long as it doesn't get in the way of him finding his (true) meaning of LOVELESS.

Even that aside, just... that he gets so used to the idea of his wing as an extra limb that he uses it as such without thinking. So Cloud, who is used to Sephiroth being Very Dramatic with his, is just twitchy and freaked out when Genesis uses it to do things as awe-inspiring as... sulk on the roof.

[cheseely]

🦇.

[valentimmy]

sephora at the grocery store 🔥🔥🔥

[shblackwoodart]

idk where i was going with this but i don't wanna keep trying to fix it so. here. have a pic

[runerapier]

"why is Angeal so clingy?" this is an old drawing, people have been throwing around the idea of angeal acting a bit like zack and I have had this drawing in my archive for so long

[emeraldblonde]

Zack Fair in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024) dev. Square Enix

[serafisolaris]

Mother's Call. Look what they took from me you.

[rocketbirdie]

country boys

[meru-chanowo]

I'm just saying-

[bread--hood]

Random Vincent Valentine pt. 827btd61b

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

commission for @thethrillof!! thank you again!!!!

[leonawriter]

For that meme: Romani! and also Genesis!

First impression

Romani: I was going to say something about when I started playing, but then I remembered my first impression was actually you guys telling me about him and Merlin, along with a bunch of spoilers, and... some of those are a big part of why I knew I'd love him XD

Genesis: wow it's been ages now, but, I think my first impression was probably "who is this" and "what an asshole" haha.

Impression now

Romani: I'm still in the middle of Babylonia but! He's so!!!! look he introduces himself as "just a doctor on staff" and then he gets promoted to the Director of Chaldea/effectively the Leader of the last remnants of humanity. Just a normal doctor. And then he's mission control, and no matter that the Servants are saying mean things a lot he's always there for you, works so hard for you, clearly knows damn good battle strategy going by America, Camelot, and Babylonia... there's so many hints about who he is but he just reads as someone who cares. A lot. I love him.

Genesis: Skrunkly cat man who both suffered too much and also didn't get hit with enough at the same time. I still need to know more about him. I want to put him through the pear wriggler. I love him and he's a dumb(apple).

Favorite moment

Romani: It's gotta be when they're in America, and he's just casually becoming the team's go-to battle strategist. I kept screaming about it because dude your mask.

Genesis: I... is it weird if I say I find it hard to think of really great canon moments? I think that maybe actually him walking past Angeal in his Banora home and going "you don't fit in with them anymore" basically. The actual line is so much better. Reason I find it hard to think of good moments is that a lot of the time in canon he's desperate and freaking out; in fanworks we're able to portray an idea of what he might be when not degrading or anything, and that's what I want to see out of any future appearance.

Idea for a story

Romani: Hm... I haven't been reading any FGO fic at all yet, really, so I don't know what has or hasn't been done already. But if I had to say what I'd like to see, it'd be something set between the Singularities that isn't an event, and therefore not likely to be so silly.

Genesis: I still need to finish TCASM at some point. But I guess I'd love to see more gen-fic/non-romantic fics based in either the original timeline, or the Remake one. Remake Aerith meeting Genesis would be fun.

Unpopular opinion

Romani: I don't know enough about FGO fandom perception and I'm not reaallly far through enough to know what opinions I'd hold would or wouldn't be unpopular, so. Pass.

Genesis: In many ways the fact that he's one of my actual unironic faves in VII is an unpopular opinion in and of itself. I... also don't like any of the popular ships for him, I think. I tend to see him and Angeal as like brothers (partly because of them growing up, partly because of the experiments giving me some fun ideas) and there's other things that disqualify most other ideas. Which would be a petty little thing if not for how 90% of all fandom material is shipping, and it makes it hard to find content I can enjoy.

Favorite relationship

Romani: Romantically, Merlin. Platonically, Mash. With Merlin he's just so unapologetically forward about himself, and they're both... they're equals. You know I'm weak for that. And Mash is just an entire daughter to him. And all three are kind of weirdos when it comes to humanity, if I'm reading things right.

Genesis: Zack, because he's kind but takes no shit, and has seen him at his worst and still believed he could be helped. I've also always loved seeing him bounce off against Aerith and Cloud too.

Favorite headcanon

Romani: I feel like I don't know enough about him yet to come up with anything that's not going to get thrown out of the window in time, but... I do like to believe that mask or not, he really does care. A lot of the things we see from him simply don't make any sense otherwise.

Genesis: Other than that he's an autistic bisexual disaster? It's the popular "he ends up with the Seventh Heaven/AVALANCHE group after failing to handle whatever he's got himself involved in on his own." He has to work with others, and find out that people can, actually, handle him just being himself.

[artofalassa]

Sick beats, huh?

Craved some autumn atmosphere........

[valentimmy]

vii

[rottenpumpkin13]

A lovely group of people encouraged me to post this so fuck it !!

This is going to be a long post, bear with me, but I have a lot to get off my chest about Angeal. I’m starting with how people’s vitriol towards his character completely glosses over the trauma he endured within the game alone.

I understand that Crisis Core is a flawed game where characters like Genesis, Angeal, and even Zack didn’t translate on screen as well as they could have due to areas of weak writing and the context lost during localization into English. But at the same time, there are aspects of the game—background details—that shed light on why characters act the way they do and this is especially true in Angeal’s case.

Angeal is a character shaped not only by his upbringing in poverty, but also by the heavy emotional burden of depression and the disillusionment that follows his discovery of his origins. His actions might seem erratic or morally ambiguous on the surface, but they’re rooted in his mentality shaped by poverty, the ideals he built to survive it, and the eventual crumbling of those ideals.

When someone is raised poor—in Angeal's case, poor enough where it's implied that they didn't have enough to eat—they grow up with a scarcity mindset that comes with a sense of hyper-responsibility veered towards survival.

We know his father passed from exhaustion, working hard to pay off the Buster Sword, so we get the sense that him witnessing his parents work hard made him internalize the notion that he must work hard both to survive and to uphold honor at any cost.

Angeal’s preoccupation with the concept of honor is a direct reflection of his upbringing. Based on Gillian telling Zack in Banora that the Buster Sword represents their family’s honor, we understand that Angeal grew up being taught to value it. Without material wealth or privilege, Angeal built his identity around his ideals. He frequently reminds Zack that honor is the defining trait of a SOLDIER, showing how he clings to this concept to give his life meaning beyond his origins.

Growing up poor not only teaches you that you are undeserving of basic necessities, but it would teach Angeal to value stability and resources, no matter the moral compromises required to secure them. 

The opportunity to join SOLDIER and work for Shinra would've represented a way out of poverty. Shinra offered him a stable future and the means to provide for his mother (maybe even his father, though as I'm writing this, when Angeal's father died hasn't been revealed in the canon timeline. It's very possible that he also saw it as a way to provide and care for his sick father).

Using SOLDIER as a means to escape poverty—despite Hollander’s probable influence, let's be honest—likely became an underlying reason why Angeal didn’t abandon Shinra outright. In his mind, letting go of SOLDIER would mean letting things fall apart—losing resources, security, and a sense of control, which he was already losing with the desertion, the Genesis war, and the degradation.

This mindset also explains Angeal’s relationship with the sword his father gave him, as the Buster Sword represents the culmination of his ideals: hard work, honor, and the tools necessary for survival. But Angeal refuses to use the Buster Sword for fear of causing wear, tear, and rust.

Seeing his father lose his life over the sword, he resolved not to use it unless absolutely necessary, saving his resources until truly needed. It’s not that he’s stingy or nonsensical—this is textbook behavior for someone raised in poverty. He doesn’t want to waste or use up what’s valuable, especially knowing that his father died for it.

He's hyper-aware of his role in supporting others, and we can see this by his deep sense of responsibility toward Zack, like how he saved him in Wutai using the Buster Sword. When he says "You’re a little more important than my sword" I like to think that he means that, above all, he values the people he cares about.

However, the same ideals create tension within him the moment they crumble following his desertion. Not only his sense of honor, but as he learns the truth, his sense of self-worth begins to deteriorate and thus begins the downward spiral of not knowing how to reconcile his nature as a "monster" in his words, with being SOLDIER. 

Angeal’s depression is evident throughout Crisis Core, and the degradation of the Jenova cells mirrors the psychological and emotional degradation he experiences (literal implications aside).

The closer he gets to losing his body, the more he loses his sense of purpose and identity, not to mention how the honor he had built his life around was spoiled the minute the people who taught him that were his father, who turned out not to be his biological father at all, and his mother, who lied to him. His entire life. He starved for nothing and lost his father twice.

The depression Angeal experiences is compounded by the trauma of discovering the truth about his birth. Learning that he was created as part of Shinra's experiments, that his mother was complicit in these experiments, and that he is no more than a weapon for corporate interests leaves him rightfully betrayed. In fact, his reaction was tame in comparison to Genesis and Sephiroth.

His mother’s suicide further deepens his trauma and gives us the first major evidence of his suicidal ideation and severely unwell mental state: "My mother did not deserve to live, and neither does her son," which he says instead of explaining what happened/defending himself after Zack assumed he killed her.

This belief that he is unworthy of life stems directly from the revelation that his life was never truly his own but an engineered existence meant to serve Shinra's greed. This statement epitomizes his suicidal ideation, a declaration that he too is undeserving of life, both because of the role he played in perpetuating Shinra’s horrors and the labelling himself as a monster undeserving of life, an unnatural thing that needs to be purged from existence.

I can’t even begin to describe the magnitude of the revelation that the man whose ideals he built his life around, whom he believed was his father, isn’t his father at all but instead Hollander is, who his mother worked with to orchestrate everything that’s happening to him now

Mothers are a central theme in FF7’s world, with Jenova/Lucrecia being at the center of that and their actions’ influence over Sephiroth, but there’s also Cloud grieving his mother’s death at the hands of Sephiroth, Tifa believing that she would see her mother again if she climbed Mt. Nibel, Aerith watching Ifalna die and then being adopted by Elmyra, and so on. 

Gillian, from what we can tell, was loving and raised Angeal with care. She likely kissed him to bed each night, comforted and nurtured him in the way a devoted mother would. But the revelation of her involvement in the Jenova Project shattered everything Angeal believed about her. In Angeal's words, her "shame" became unbearable, and he saw her once nurturing presence as a facade hiding deeper lies. Her decision to take her own life after he confronted her about it added to Angeal’s trauma, reinforcing the belief that everything he held dear was built on deception. 

I like to think that there was a part of Angeal that carried the guilt of Genesis’ degradation. Maybe he thought that if he hadn’t come between them in the training room, Genesis would’ve been fine—(which I don’t think so. I think there’s a high chance Genesis would’ve gotten hurt either way and that would’ve triggered the degradation).

This is a topic for another time, but I don't think any singular person was to blame for the incident in the training room. They're all equally to blame without it being their fault, because none of them asked to be a part of the Jenova Project. It's ultimately Shinra's fault.

Angeal probably struggled with depression even before the events of Crisis Core. Poverty itself is a destructive force that can cause lasting psychological damage. It has a significant impact on mental health, just like how growing up under Hojo’s abuse and being controlled by Shinra had its effects on Sephiroth. It can and does lead to depression due to the mental, emotional, and often physical (hello, Angeal's father) exhaustion it causes. Even when someone escapes the instability, it still stays with you because by then, you've learned to live in a world that taught you that you didn't deserve to live in it unless you work hard.

And now Angeal doesn't want to live in it for other reasons.

Another thing @ilminnestrone pointed out to me (who, btw, huge shout out for beta’ing this post <3 ), is how his mental state was influenced by the culture of toxic masculinity within the military/ SOLDIER. Just like in the real world, the military environment at Shinra likely placed a heavy emphasis on masculinity, strength, stoicism, and left little to no room for vulnerability lest the operative in question was deemed weak and not at all befitting of the shallow profile of a hero Shinra capitalized on. 

In environments like these, Angeal is expected to always be in control, to suppress any emotional or mental struggles, and to uphold an image of unshakable resilience, especially when he was canonically considered to be the spiritual leader of SOLDIER.

This expectation of constant strength absolutely exacerbated whatever pre-existing struggle he had going on—circling back to how being raised in poverty has long lasting effects on mental health. Rather than being able to openly process his feelings about his degradation, his mother’s betrayal, Hollander being his real father, or where he fit in this new reality of his, he was still trapped in a role that demanded he shoulder everything in silence. 

Keep in mind that in a culture where admitting weakness is often seen as failure, Angeal’s (and Genesis’) deterioration would’ve been magnified tenfold by the toxic expectation that they maintain an appearance of unwavering strength. 

This combined with the rigid ideals Angeal built around honor and the nature of his job must’ve weighed on him for years. The mutation only exacerbated potential doubts that were already there. 

Angeal's actions in the narrative are not those of a clear-cut hero or villain. Instead he occupies an in-between space where his moral compass, traumatic experiences and actions inspired by his headspace constantly clash, which is what leads to his label as a hypocrite. 

His decision to defect from Shinra and join Genesis is not a simple act of betrayal but rather the result of his overwhelming internal conflict. On the one hand, he wants to get through to Genesis and help him, he's aware that Shinra has betrayed them, but on the other hand, his ingrained sense of duty and loyalty makes it difficult for him to fully break away from the organization and responsibilities he has like, for example, Zack.

He wants to do good but knows that his conception was not a product of good intentions. In his mind he's a monster being pulled in different directions at once. If anything, this is most realistic reaction to what he’s going through in the game. 

His behavior becomes erratic as he oscillates between opposing forces—one where he remains loyal to the values he once cherished, and another where he acknowledges the harsh truth— struggling to reconcile his identity as an honorable SOLDIER with a science experiment.

This moral ambivalence is a symptom of his deeper trauma, as he tries to cling to the remnants of his previous beliefs, which is why he’s still enforcing having dreams and honor despite his actions. 

Some dialogue from the game where Angeal acknowledges his headspace: 

Angeal: I need your help

Zack: Do you?

Angeal: 

Zack: Honestly, what are you thinking Angeal?

Angeal: I'm not really sure myself. At times I feel as if my mind is mired in fog. 

The scene where he sprouts his wing and jokes about being after world domination is another key glimpse into his mindset. At this point, the joke isn’t entirely a joke—it’s a reflection of his resignation to the role the degradation has cast him in. The line about a monster’s objective being world domination is a bitter acceptance of the fact that, in his mind, he has no choice but to fulfill the destiny that was engineered for him. 

He feels trapped. And yet when Zack compares him to an angel, his response is: "Then what should an angel fight for Zack? What do angels dream of?! Angels dream of one thing... To be human."

He wants the cure and the normalcy so badly, but in his mind, the "monstrosity" is something that sets him apart from humanity and a reminder that he is different, degraded, and no longer the man he once believed himself to be.

Angeal's ultimate decision to force Zack to kill him is the culmination of his depression and his struggle to reconcile his identity. He believes that his continued existence is something that needs to be purged, something that poses a danger to those around him, something that shouldn't have existed in the first place.

He wants to pass on the ideals of honor that he once held so dear, even if he feels unworthy of them himself. In his mind, the only way to regain some form of dignity is to die by the hand of someone who still embodies the values he once believed in. 

Zack as his student represents the purity of those ideals—untainted by the knowledge of Shinra's experiments and degradation. By having Zack end his life, Angeal seeks not only an escape from his torment but also a way to pass on his legacy to Zack.

His final words: "Protect your honor, always."

Angeal made his dreams clear earlier when he said that an angel's dream is to be human. When he dies, passing the Buster Sword to Zack is not only a way to protect his honor but also a fulfillment of that dream. At that moment, there's nothing more human than dying at the hands of someone else, rather than succumbing to degradation.

This act, while devastating (and yes, extremely traumatic for Zack), is consistent with the psychological profile of someone who has suffered long-term trauma, depression, and suicidal ideation. 

Might be controversial but at this point in the rant fuck it: Condemning Angeal’s choices shifts all the sympathy onto others while entirely overlooking the immense suffering he was enduring. People often focus on how his actions impact those around him—Zack, Sephiroth, and others—without ever considering what Angeal himself is going through. All the above mentioned, the shame, the suicidal thoughts brought on by the degradation and his subsequent actions to purge himself from existence, they’re all pushed aside in favor of examining how others are affected. Everyone was affected, yes, and Zack deserves all the sympathy in the world for what he was made to endure in Crisis Core.

But I feel like this erases Angeal’s pain and frames his ultimate decision as a betrayal rather than a desperate act of self-sacrifice driven by his own emotional struggles.

"Oh, but Angeal was a terrible friend, Angeal was a bad mentor, Angeal was a hypocrite." Here’s the thing: If you’re someone who sympathizes with Sephiroth for having a traumatic past that led to a mental breakdown and burning Nibelheim, if you understand Genesis’ destructive actions as a response to degradation, then you can sympathize with Angeal for his turmoil and his position in Crisis Core.  

Angeal’s spiral is rooted in a lifetime of hardship—from growing up in poverty to confronting the existential dread of his degradation. He wasn’t just a man falling apart. He was someone trying to uphold the honor he cherished, even as his world and his sense of self crumbled around him and forced that honor he held so dear became hollow. 

His actions make sense within the context of his mental state.

I'll end this by saying that this isn't a rant to defend his actions, but rather to defend the mental health aspect that may go overlooked when discussing Angeal, which is such an integral part of his character.