#ff chocolate bar

[greattigerssimp]

👻🎃Punch Out Halloween Headcannons!! 🎃👻

(Not doing colored text anymore bc it's frustrating to do on a phone bruh)

Glass Joe 🥐🇫🇷

- Dressed up as a mummy, but you're forgiven if you thought he got into a bad accident

- Along with the candy, the nurses at the WVBA helped with his costume (he's close to them - dude's a boy best friend to them)

- Not going out, is staying inside and watching old horror movies

- Giving out candy the WVBA nurses lended to him, which consist of tiny lollipops and hershey kisses (if he likes your costume, he'll give you a little croissant he baked that morning)

- Got pranked by Kaiser's boxing class/Aran around 2am! They basically trapped him in his own costume (wrapped into a real mummy) and locked him in his closet. Aran wrote "french fry shelter" on the closet before inevitably leaving him. No one found him until the next morning

Von Kaiser 🔩🇩🇪

- His boxing class is going around, pranking everyone alongside a certain Irish boxer

- Didn't dress up, is just wearing a cutesy (of corny) halloween t-shirt

- Not trick or treating, he spends all night by the door, awaiting kids (he doesn't wanna get surprised by them)

- Giving out toothbrushes and raisins, like bruh, you're German ffs give out chocolates or something /j (borrowed this hc from @bucketspammer4life )

- Was informed about his students pranking the other boxers by Hondo. They're all running extra laps tomorrow morning

- Was the first to find and free Joe the next morning

- Apologized in-person to every single individual person pranked by his students

Disco Kid 🕺🇺🇲

- Dressed as Abba, sung her songs throughout the whole night

- Actually went trick or treating, but his mom is giving out king-sized candy bars (he will happily tell anyone this information)

- Visited Joe and freaked out, thought Joe was seriously hurt.

- Pulled an all nighter (zamn, again, Disco Kid??)

- Ran into Aran and the boys at some point, took a selfie with them, and left them.

- Managed to score the most candy out of everyone that was also trick or treating

King Hippo 🦛🏝

- Not trick or treating or handing out candy

- Literally scaring anyone he stumbles across (halloween is new to him)

- Dressed in a hippo onesie

- Stole as much candy as possible whenever he found a "take one" bowl

Piston Hondo 🥊🇯🇵

- Group costume! Him, Heike, and Tiger are dressed as Sailor Moon characters. He's dressed as Sailor Jupitar (his fave)

- Heike is dressed as Sailor Mercury

- Even Yuki (the cat he owns) is dressed as Artemis

- He's at his apartment, standing near the door, expecting trick or treaters

- He's handing out generic candy, snickers, reeses cups, milky ways, etc. If he loves your costume, he'll give you a piece of his secret stash of Japanese candy

- Got his door painted pink because of Aran and his squad of pranksters. He informed Kaiser about this immediately

Bear Hugger 🐻🇨🇦

- Posted a poll online about what he should wear. His fans wanted him to go as Freddy Fazbear...

- "Erm, what's a Frederick Fast Bear?"

- Learned about the fnaf lore

- Dressed up as Freddy Fazbear (har har har har har) and his wife, Lomasi (an OC of mine, exclusive to my SU) dressed up as Chica

- Spruce (his squirrel) is dressed up as the cupcake, but it is implied that the squirrel gave consent (pls someone get this joke ;-; )

- By far, the best boxer to visit. Bro is giving out full sized pancakes and waffles

- Thankfully, didn't get pranked bc lives far from the other boxers

Great Tiger 🐯🇮🇳

- Dressed up as Sailor Uranus to match the Sailor Moon theme. His clones are dressed as the other Sailor Senshi

- He's out trick or treating while his clones give out candy

- Got a decent amount of candy; He's willing to trade anyone for the candy's that have nuts in them

- His clones are giving out only m&ms in a variety of flavors... and the occasional small toy once they ran out of candy

- The real Great Tiger gets pranked by Aran and the boys! They steal his magic gem and refuse to give it back unless Tiger performs out one of those in def transformation scenes from the Sailor Moon anime. They record it, and it goes viral

Don Flamenco 🥀🇪🇸

- Dressed as Prince Philip, and Carmen is dressed as Princess Aurora. It made for a cute pic on social media

- Wanted to go trick or treating, but Carmen threatened his li-- nicely said to him that someone should pass out candy while she goes out trick or treating with her friends. She promises to share her candy with Don

- All of Carmen's friends are dressed as the other Disney princesses

- He's giving out WAY too much candy... half the kids in Brooklyn Heights (the place in my AU where Don and Carmen live) are all on sugar rushes now. He's giving out the good stuff too... like, full on individual bags of candy.

- Keeps getting catcalled by lonely women and moms... and Aran Ryan.

- Got pranked by Aran and his gang of kids! They stole his toupee and threw it in a tree.

- Spent half the night trying to get the toupee back

- The next morning, he learned that Carmen did not save him any candy from her trick or treating (dw Disco Kid will spare him some candies)

Aran Ryan 😈🇮🇪

- Dressed as himself and spent the entire cold night only wearing his boxing shorts.

- Left a candy bowl outside his place, but that candy bowl is placed within a bear trap... no one knows if it's real or fake.

- Even if you get past the bear trap, the candy Aran placed out will mostly likely have razor blades in them (the candy ain't worth it, it's just those gummy cheeseburger's that Lil Mac's hiding in his gloves)

- Met Kaiser's boxing class of kids while trick or treating and bribes them into pranking other people in exchange for candy

- They egged 18 houses, tp-ed 21, and mugged at least 66 trick or treaters of varying ages

- Ransacked Joe's apartment for all of his candy and his morning croissants. He basically robbed Joe using a tiny army of minors

- Also pulled an all nighter

- Somehow managed to get one of the kids (some nerd named Mason) arrested

- Didn't share any of his candy with the kids (he'll pay for this eventually)

- Stopped his pranks at 7am after attempting to smash a jack o lantern on Bald Bull's doorstep and failing after Bald Bull charged at him

Soda Popinski 🍾🇷🇺

- Had no idea what to go as, so he placed some goofy mimimi pajamas on, and said he was "tired" (dad joke)

- "Bruh what are you dressed as?"

- "Oh me? I'm tired."

- Not trick or treating because he looks goofy. He's staying inside, listening in on Macho Man's halloween podcast

- Giving out tiny soda cans since everyone already knows him as a soda fanatic

- Very careful about pranksters targeting him for his past alcohol addiction... straight up pretended to not be home when Aran and his gang of minors pulled up

Bald Bull 🐂🇹🇷

- No candy, not dressed up

- Literally just vibing, going on a fun scary movie marathon with his nephew and niece.

- He carved a few pumpkins earlier and displayed him outside his place, but otherwise wants to be unbothered

- Heroically placed an end to Aran's halloween reign of terror

- Fell asleep listening to Macho Man's podcast

Super Macho Man 🌊🇺🇸

- Dressed as a lifeguard, specifically a lifeguard character he played as in one of his past movies

- Hosted a failed live halloween podcast where he tries to meet up with fans... this fails hard. Only 5-7 people join his podcast.

- Going trick or treating, but he's really just going out to visit fans... and failing at doing so.

- Got a hefty donation from "ATallGlassOfVictory70" for no reason

- Got bullied for "being fake" by a bunch of children... and Aran Ryan.

- Didn't leave candy out. Instead, he left out a bowl of sticky notes with his name on them. Only 1 autograph per person!

Mr. Sandman 💤🟢

- Didn't dress up. He's not even wearing a Halloween shirt. He wanted to dress up as a Kirby character, but his trainer/boss, Mr. Dream said he would look stupid and unprofessional

- Didn't go trick or treating, and thinks he's too old for it (he's wrong /gen)

- Giving out above average candy... mainly fruity/sour candy

- Unintentionally scaring most kids by his mere appearance, especially really young ones

- Aran and his gang didn't bother pranking him

- Can't eat any of his candy, as it isn't in his 24/7 training diet regime that he has

Thanks for reading guysss :33 Happy Halloween!

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

Stardew valley but with the Task force 141: (lil snippet)

Ghost: So, these are the mines?

Roach: Yeah. Now remember, don't-

The men were interrupted by a weird slushing noise, coming from the far dark end of the first level. A weird slushing sound? As if something was gently swaying from side to side closing in on the duo.

Roach, steadying his dagger: It's a slime

Ghost: A what?! Wait, where did you get that dag-

Roach: Shh...No time for games, LT. *giggles at his own joke* (get it. Cause they are in a game. I did laugh at that, yeah...)

Roach: Shit, it got me!! *le highly pitched screams* Get it of! Get it of!

Pulling a knife out Ghost turns to his companion ready to slash whatever tackled him to the ground, only to freeze when he hears Roach's giggling once more. Pointing the torch at him, Ghost sees a tiny green slime ball with two eyes, carefully examining Roach pockets until it finds a bar of chocolate, pulls it out and quickly throttles in the opposite direction.

Ghost: So, this one does not attack? Like the bugs?

Roach, in awe, not listening: OMG

Ghost, visibly annoyed: ...

Roach: THEY ATTACK ONLY THE FARMER. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

Ghost, sarcastically: Stop shouting before this place collapses...

Roach, waving him off: Don't worry. Caves don't collapse here. Besides we have more lives. Worst thing that can happen is we die and then either get mugged or billed 1000g.

Ghost: We don't know how much this world is like the game. Also, your options sound terrible.

Roach, sarcastic: Because 'death' sounds soooo muchhh bettterrrr...

Ghost: We WON'T DIE if YOU BEhave!

Roach, ignoring him and staring at the snacking slime, slowly blinking at him: IT IS SO CUTE I AM GONNA DIE.

Ghost: Stop yelling, ffs!

Roach in awe: It turned brown.

Roach, eye lighting up: It can be *sparkle* DOMESTICATED *sparkle*

Ghost: You can't keep it. No...Roach...Put him down...No, don't put him in your backpack?! Sanderson?!

~~~

Price, listening trough the coms: Can they?

Marlon: If you have a hutch, you can raise them, yes. Robin can build you one. I'll pay for it.

Peice: You don't have to.

Marlon: I insist. First time I see someone not get attacked by these creatures.

Rasmodius chiming in: In all my years of living, I must say, I have never seen such a thing. Slimes are usually hostile toward everything taller than them.

♤♡♤♡◇

Somewhere.... Mr. Qi furiously pacing around, mumbling how the newcomers are knocking the balance off the place

"Bet the wizard is enjoying this", he spats out, staring at the wizard through one of the many cameras - stare turning into full blown glare when the wizard turns toward the camera, slight smirk playing on his lips.

A small message appears on Mr. Qi screen: He is much enjoying this. - R

[gothicallybright]

HOT TO GO!

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

you fall in love with your barista who is chappell in a paris coffee shop. that's it.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

𓆩♡𓆪 A/N 𓆩♡𓆪

i see that there are very few chappell roan ffs so i decided to do something about that. there's no smut just yet so don't get your hopes up. enjoy reading! 𓆩♡𓆪

The grey mist of the Parisian morning slowly envelops the empty street, wrapping everything in its cold embrace. The trees by the street, devoid of the bright colors of spring, are already bare and brown, as all of nature gets ready for the long and cold winter.

You, wearing a pair of black pants and a leather jacket, walked through the streets, shivering as you kept your hands tucked in your pockets. The leaves on the trees by your side slowly fell down to the ground with each breath of air, while the cold morning air bit through your thick clothes. The donut coffee shop's sign shone with a warm light that brought you comfort as you got closer.

As you walk towards the shop, you feel a cold northern breeze play upon your cheeks, which braces your nerves, and fills you with delight. Do you understand this feeling? That familiar nostalgic feeling that the bittersweet winter brings you?

With another deep breath you finally stepped inside the shop, sighing and breathing out warm air. The little bell attached to the door alerted the barista of your presence.

The moment you take another breath through your nose, its immediately filled with a blend of smells: the distinct scent of dark roasted coffee beans being brewed, the sweet smell of freshly baked donuts, the rich scent of melted chocolate, mixed with vanilla, the comforting scent of various herbs mixed with an undertone of cinnamon, and also the warm scent of hot milk and cream combined with sugar.

''Good morning. Please, make yourself comfortable, I'll be right with you.''

A soft voice came from behind the counter as the barista seems to be crouching down, looking for something.

You slowly take off your leather jacket, placing it on the jacket hanger by the entrance.

The small cozy coffee shop is dimly lit with warm lights glowing from the ceiling panels. The walls are all different shades of browns, and are filled with beautiful paintings done by local artists on canvases that line the shelves. Small, comfortable dark leather chairs and couches are scattered around with dim lamps glowing from the tables. Soft jazz music is playing through the speakers mounted on the walls in the corners. The whole contrast just reminds you of autumn itself.

You take a seat a little closer to the counter, like you usually do in coffee shops. Your eyes slowly drift towards the window, absorbing the scenery placed in front of you when suddenly the same soft voice breaks you out of your trance.

''What can I get you, miss?'' A pair of blue eyes stared back into yours and suddenly you forgot what you wanted.

Was it espresso? No, too bitter. Was it cappuccino? No, too bland.

''Uh…'' You let out a nervous laughter.

The somewhat short woman with long, intense brownish red curly hair stared deeply into your eyes, awating your answer, holding a server book in her left hand and a pen in her right hand.

Her clicking of the pen made you realize she was slowly losing patience with you.

''Can I just get a latte?'' You finally mumbled out, looking down at your hands knowing that you just wasted her time.

''Sure. Anything else?''

''No, that's all. Thank you.''

She nodded before turning around and walking towards the counter.

You couldn't read her nametag correctly.

The seat you chose gave you the perfect view of what's going on behind the counter.

You can see the woman that just took your order behind the counter, the glow from the coffee bar lights illuminating her face. Her eyes are sharp and focused as she expertly moves around the tools around her: the coffee cup full of strong espresso, a large stainless steel milk steamer, and a variety of syrups on the shelf. With the press of a button, the steamer starts, and the barista quickly turns on the espresso machine, steam coming out of the nozzle as a loud hissing sound fills the room. Holding the steamer above the coffee, she waits for the milk to gently foam up until it is the right consistency.

As you were looking at the barista, you felt your heart race with nervous excitement as you took in all her features. Your eyes darted and fixed on her hair, which you thought was really unique and good-looking. Soon, your eyes accidentally landed into the barista's eyes and she was also already looking at you. Realization flooded your mind and you quickly looked away in shame, your cheeks burning red. It didn't help that you were the only one in here either, it's 7 in the morning after all. The jazz music filled the awkward silence between you and the barista just perfectly.

You decided it's for the best to just look out the window until she brings you your drink. You had your head resting on your right hand, watching the trees get slowly covered in frost as you waited for your drink to be brought to you, the window fogging with the heat of the shop. You slowly turned away from the window, suddenly finding yourself facing the barista who has brought you the drink, the warm and inviting smell emanating from the hot drink filled you with a warm feeling as the smile on the barista's face brought out your own.

''Enjoy your drink.'' She said, still a smile on her face.

''Thank you.'' You replied back, the shakiness in your voice being too obvious for comfort.

You were finally able to read her nametag. Chappell R. Hm, you think to yourself, how unique.

Chappell turned around leaving you alone and you noticed that she drew a heart with the milk foam on the surface of the latte. How cute!

You slowly sipped on your warm latte as you pulled out the book you recently started reading. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen to be specific.

As time slowly ticks life away, the morning fog slowly vanishes in the air as the Sun brings warmth to this usually colder city just north of Paris.

You lost track of time as you were so deeply engrossed in the book, just barely noticing the two girls that came in.

''Can I just get one regular espresso, please?'' One of the girls spoke.

''Ugh, Sabrina you always get the same thing! I'll just have a macchiato please.'' Presumably, one of her friends replied.

You watched as Chappell wrote down the orders and went back to the counter.

Chappell was pouring the hot milk into the espresso cup, when the hot steam of the milk hit her face, causing her to jerk her arm holding the steel milk container. A loud clang can be heard and the container flew out of her grip spilling the hot liquid all over the counter and her hands, soaking her black apron and jeans at the same time. She yelped in pain, the hot liquid leaving red marks on her hands and clothes. Seeing the mess she made, she quickly turned around to see if anyone saw, only to find you staring at her wide-eyed.

You quickly put down the book and rushed to her aid.

''Are you alright? Let me help you with that!'' You quickly grabbed some napkins and went around the counter to help her clean up the spill. You reached over and started helping her clean the counter, taking a few quick looks at her hands as both of your hands brushed against eachother touching for each wipe of the spill.

Feeling satisfied with your clean-up, wiping your hands on clean napkins, you threw away the stained ones. This whole mess leaving you both with the aftermath of the spill, the smell of milk, combined with coffee and chocolate lingering everywhere. Chappell's apron and jeans were soaked as the espresso shot sat there untouched on the counter, still hot.

Chappell didn't have any other clothes and you decided to offer her your leather jacket which she accepted with a shy smile and a nod of gratitude. She put the jacket over her soaked clothes. You realized that this is a pretty hard one-person job so you decided to help her work. After that you started working together, Chappell reluctantly accepting your help because she thinks she brought you enough trouble for the day. You slowly started getting acquainted with how the work went. Together you worked hard, keeping costumers satisfied and at bay. The smell of the pastries and coffee filling the area as you worked in tandem. Your shoulders occasionally brushed, letting out a mix of scents: sweet pastries, chocolate and sweet coffee, and your cheap perfume that you bought on sale.

When the clock finally struck 6PM, the donut coffee shop finally closed and you were standing outside of it with Chappell, the rain soaking you both and the northern breeze occassionally shivering you both.

''Thank you so much for helping me today.'' She told you, her soft spoken voice warming you up.

''No worries. I personally think it was fun.'' You laughed a little, earning a smile from her.

''So? See you tomorrow, same time?'' You asked, hoping for a positive answer.

''No. See you tonight.'' She winked at you as she handed you a folded piece of paper.

It was her number.

[salternateunreality2]

Sooo, in FF world people can be morphed into items.

If Morph materia was used on our lovely blorbos, what would they turn into?

I'm going to pick random items because I can.

Angeal - one of my plants. My plants tend to die quickly and seem to be very stressed when they're not dead (I am seeking help from an Angeal in the community, thank you Angeal in the community!).

Genesis - an irritating red child's toy that makes a lot of noise at high volumes and has a ton of flashing lights, but your kid LOVES it to death and nobody will have a good time if you try to damage it so it shuts up.

Sephiroth - a silver mine. You'll think that means a cave with silver deposits that will make you rich... until you stomp on his heart, at which point you'll find out he's a metallic land mine that gleams silver.

Zack - a taxidermied animatronic bear that is programmed to be protective and loving towards its friends. Woe betide its enemies. Or a giant Valentine's bear that is super cuddle and sweet unless you're evil, in which case you'll suffocate.

Cloud - pfft. Hehehe. A cloud. Hehehehehehehehhehehe. A rain cloud, specifically. He provides shade to the weak and thunderstorms to the guilty

Lazard - a stone vase. If you drop him and his mother, he'll break your foot.

Roche - a can of four loco energy drink.

Aerith - a jack-in-the-box with unpredictable timing.

Tifa - a chocolate bar that has habanero chilis in it.

Barret - a fog horn.

Yuffie - the smaller version of the Genesis toy.

Nanaki - a campfire.

Reeve - a computer.

Tseng - a box of knives.

Reno - a medium-sized version of the Genesis toy.

Rude - one of those awesome giant marble-patterned balls from the 90s.

Cissnei - a random key that turns out to be for your sliding door and saves your butt when you lose your normal door key.

Elena - espresso.

Rufus - a quieter version of the Genesis toy.

[br0-k3n-sch00lb01]

might be fying but yk!

chocolate biscuits and bar to save the day

I THOUGHT I JUST SAID NO MORE CHOCOLA

stranger calm down ffs he wasnt even talking to you.

[sunandflame]

Are the following sandwiches?? Discuss.

1. Hot dog

2. Quesadilla

3. Taco (soft shell)

4. S’mores

5. Burger

Oh my god Peach I am way too tipsy to answer this, but since I just got home and removed all the gory makeup from my face and because I love I am gonna answer this as seriously as I can and will do an analytical approach as I always do with new things.

Ffs I even googled the definition of a fucking sandwich because its 5 am and my brain is not functioning properly (yes in Europe we do parties till in the morning hours).

Oxford Languages says this about a sandwich and I quote: “an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with a filling between them, eaten as a light meal.” Okay, let’s see.

A hot dog is a long sausage (lol) served in a soft roll and topped with various condiments. Since the roll is bread with a filling between them I would say a hot dog is a sandwich.

Quesadilla may look like a sandwich, but most people actually don’t know that it is not made out of bread, but of cooked corn masa that is topped with corn. No bread, no sandwich in my opinion (still delicious as hell. Damn I crave some now)

Well with Tacos it is the same as with Quesadillas (since they are made out of Tortillas BUT you were asking for soft shells which are usually made out of flour, which means its bread. So that is a sandwich.

The fuck is S’mores??? *googles it* Peach... that looks illegal, but maybe that is just my snobby european ass talking who never saw this thing ever in my life. It’s probably delicious, since it's so well known.  Well let’s put my feelings aside and look at what a S’more is made of. Oxford Languages says: “a sweet snack consisting of a chocolate bar and toasted marshmallows sandwiched between graham crackers.” The hell are graham crackers? *asks google again* Aha… Alright. Graham crackers are a type of lightly sweetened, whole wheat-based cracker that originated in the United States. Named after Sylvester Graham, a 19th-century health advocate who promoted the use of whole grains for a fiber-rich diet, these crackers were initially marketed as a health food. Yes S’mores are the sweet kind sandwich since the cracker is made out of wheat flour.

Yeah for that I don’t need to ask google. A Burger is definitely a sandwich. Except you turn it into a low carb perversion where you replace the bun with a fucking cucumber or lettuce leaves.

I am surprised over myself and over the accuracy of my answer. Also, thank you, I am not drunk anymore. 😂

[wild-karrde]

Congrats on the follower milestone!

I’m not sure if this falls under Director’s Cut or OC Asks, but I’d love to know some headcanons (both SFW and NSFW (if you’re up for it)) for both Chuckles and Crater!

ALLI I AM SO SORRY I MISSED THIS ASK. It got buried in FF asks, and I just now found it, but I WILL ANSWER IT NOW AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING IT IN. Some of these may be redundant from posts I've put out in the past, but maybe they'll be neat for any new kids. I'll put the SFW HCs above a divider:

SFW Chuckles HCs: 1. Loves chocolate, but especially dark chocolate. Often makes bets for chocolate bars. 2. Is all about physical comedy. The man will throw himself down any flight of stairs if it will garner a laugh from his brothers. Chuck's not the best pilot in his squadron, but he feels that making his brothers smile is one way he can contribute. 3. He lets his brothers pick what color his mohawk gets dyed. 4. He and Howzer are good friends. He met Howzer right after he got the scars on his face, and joked with him about it. Eventually accused him of stealing his idea to attract women by having facial scars. Howzer acts like he barely can tolerate him, but really likes him. 5. Chuckles wasn't always supposed to be a pilot; he proved he had an aptitude for flying when he and his batchmate Two-Pint (who belongs to @teletraan-meets-jarvis) got drunk on TP's homebrew. He wound up stealing a fighter out of the hangar and actually flying it well enough to get moved into the pilot training program (he couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with the DC-15S the trainers originally issued him).

SFW Crater HCs: 1. Is quiet and observant, picking up on how people function. This is how he leads - by figuring out the personalities of his men and adjusting to them. During training, he quickly decided he didn't want to be like some of the trainers that just shouted their subordinates into submission. 2. Crater's not afraid of much, but one thing he is afraid of is leaving people behind that he cares about. That's one reason he doesn't actively seek out romantic relationships. 3. Drink of choice is good whiskey (do they have scotch in Star Wars? If so, it's that) 4. The tattoos on his arms are meant to look like air streams like the ones he sees curling over the wings of his fighter when he's entering/exiting atmo. 5. He chose the colors for the 28th - magenta for the occasional sunsets on Kamino, and grey for the rain clouds that normally covered their home.

And now for the NSFW HCs...

NSFW Chuckles HCs: 1. Chuckles doesn't mind being the dominant personality, but he gets VERY aroused by a partner that takes the dominant role. He wants to be told exactly what his lover wants and how to please them. 2. There's absolutely a slut AU where Ry pegs him. 3. He's a talker. LOOOOVES to praise his partner and tell them everything he's feeling and thinking. In fact, it's almost like he can't stop talking. 4. Bed are fine and all, but Chuckles would rather fuck just about anywhere else. There's something thrilling for him about not doing things the conventional way, so he'd much rather bend you over a crate in a supply closet. But his favorite place is the cockpit of his fighter. 5. Additionally, he loves the kind of sex where it's so hurried and needed that clothes don't even get all the way off. Guaranteed Bolts knows what plastoid feels like pressed against her skin.

NSFW Crater HCs: 1. Trust is honestly the number one thing for Crater when it comes to sex. He's not really much into casual hook-ups. He wants to know and understand the person he's sleeping with. 2. And with that, someone putting their trust in him probably arouses him more than anything else. Bolts putting that trust in him in The Pillar is his favorite moment, not because of the anal, but because he knows she trusts him more than she's trusted anyone else, and that's why she's asking for that to happen. 3. He of course prefers the dominant role (as we see in the Blitz series), but he's open to trying other dynamics out if his partner wants it. 4. He loves hearing the noises his partner makes, but his favorite is honestly the way they pant in his ear when they're pressed close, the quiet whines and whispered pleas. He doesn't need a lot of screaming and moaning, just enough to let him know he's doing exactly what his partner needs. 5. There aren't many things that'll make his knees buckle, but a good blowjob will make him lose his composure. Part of it is how much trust is involved, but also, just something about his partner wanting to do that to him, get on their knees and focus on his pleasure? Gets him every time.

[cotecoyotegrrrl]

Once Upon A Time - Still Kind Of Beautiful

Not exactly a holiday story

You can find of this story in its entirety on A03 and FF

Part 3

Gail’s world is on fire, spinning and twisting, filling her head with everything she has been trying to ignore, for years really. Right now, she has a white-knuckle grip on the cool stone counter top of the island in her kitchen in a vein attempt to regain some kind of equilibrium. It steadies her as she tries to take deep calming breaths. She is still reeling from running into Holly at the Penny last night after all this time, and now she feels like she’s going to explode. It’s funny how time changes everything, and nothing at all, at the same time.

Sophie called from her visit to Traci’s this morning. Holly is coming to dinner. Gail’s beautiful, smart, wonderful, maddening daughter invited her. Sophie is clearly smitten with her forensics idol, and has been a whirlwind of fan-girl excitement, and questions, ever since last night, and now she has invited Holly to dinner. And, of course, the now famous Dr. Stewart has agreed to grace them with her presence. Tonight. 

How the fuck did she let this happen? 

The irony of the situation is not lost on Gail. Not one bit.

Gail looks at the time, it’s only one thirty in the afternoon, T minus four and counting, plenty of time to put the finishing touches on the flourless chocolate cake she made last night, time enough to get Sophie’s favorite spinach lasagna in the oven, and the white wine chilling in the fridge. She can do this. She takes a deep breath and pushes herself fully to her feet. Thank goodness Traci and Leo got Sophie to go to the movies with them, she’s not sure her nerves could handle any more questions right now. In the meanwhile she will make the lasagna’s spinach and mushroom filling, and assemble it with the gorgonzola alfredo sauce she made earlier. She knows it’s wrong, but keeping busy is the only thing stopping her from curling up in bed in the fetal position right now. 

What is wrong with me?

T minus two and counting, Traci and the kids will be home by five thirty, and Holly should be here by six. The kitchen is spotless, diner is in the oven, there is nothing left to do but take a shower, and put herself together. Gail climbs the stairs as the memories she has successfully kept at bay all of these years come flooding back to haunt her. Holly, leaning over a sorted skeleton in the morgue; Holly, teasing Gail about being so impatient about getting the results from a DNA test; Holly, picking her up at the hospital on the day she burned her wrist, and treating her like she was something precious and important; Holly naked in bed; Holly lying flush against her skin after making love all day on the night before Holly left for the States; and Holly forcing Gail look her in the eye as she told Gail she would always love her before she walked away that last time.

Entering the bathroom, Gail turns on the shower to let it warm up and leans heavily on the sink in front of her letting her head hang between her arms. And then it comes unbidden from the depths of the black, and once bottomless pit of all of her insecurities. The memory of Holly standing at the bar at the Black Penny the night before Christmas one year and three months after she had moved to San Francisco, nine years ago next week. Before the job offer from CISI to do something important, something she loves, before Sophie became her daughter, before Nick had recovered from getting shot, before Chris had finally become clean, before she and Steve decided they needed to repair their relationship and their lives by seeking professional help, it had been possibly the worst year of Gail’s life. Beginning with Holly’s move, she thought she had lost everything she cared about. She desperately needed a change, needed someone who would always love her. All she had wanted to do when she saw Holly standing at the bar with Traci was to swallow what was left of her pride and run back into her arms! She was ready, even if it meant she had to beg Holly to take her back. She would go to San Francisco, if Holly still wanted her. And then it happened, she overhearing Holly tell Traci about the offer of a permanent position and sizable promotion to spearhead the leading mobile forensics team in the world, in recognition of all of her excellent work there. She was practically glowing with excitement as she spoke! Gail felt her chest overflow with love and pride for this amazing woman. She was just about to announce her presence by buying them a congratulatory round when she heard Traci mention her name. And then Gail saw it, the look of disappointment and disapproval that crossed Holly’s face, or felt it more accurately, like a physical, crushing blow.

She knew she was a mess. She had been caught up in the massive departmental corruption investigation and scandal, forced to testify against her family. She knew she was, and had always been a bitter disappointment and a disgrace to her mother in one way or another for most of her life, and while her father’s love had always tempered his displeasure about her shortcomings, the undercurrent of dissatisfaction was always present and this was her final traitorous failure. Steve’s anger had been the hardest to face, even though he had been forced into a similar position. In a last ditch effort to regain any amount of self-respect and control over her life, she had finally turned in her badge, resigning her position on the force. Soon after, she had lost all hope of adopting Sophie to a racially diverse, married, heterosexual couple with two other kids, and a large home overlooking the lake. She had long ago stopped seeking anyone else’s approval, but to have Holly judge her made her blood run cold. So instead of surprising Holly by joining them, she had slammed back her shot, and fled clutching at the bleeding pieces of her shattered heart, hoping that nobody had noticed her.

Fuck!

The doorbell rings just as she is stripping off her ratty, ancient, pale blue hoodie and tattered jeans.

“What the…” She grumbles, turning off the shower and getting redressed.

The doorbell rings again.

“Jesus Christ! I’m coming!” She calls out on her way down the stairs, “Just wait a frickin’ minute, this isn’t a…”

The words dying on her lips as she opens the door.

The woman on her doorstep takes her breath away. Shifting her weight from one foot to another, and fidgeting with her glasses, Holly spins around to face her as the door opens.

“Gail. Hey.” She breathes out as she stuffs her hands into the pockets of the oversized cardigan she is wearing underneath an open blue down parka.

“Hey.” Gail cautiously replies, “What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood, and I saw your door, and your lights were on, and… and… um… I would say that the courier was sick, but…” Holly stumbles nervously over the words pouring out of her, gesturing wildly with her hands that have somehow freed themselves of her sweater.

Gail wants to guard her tender heart, to not be drawn back into Holly’s gravity. She tries to play it cool, but she can’t seem to help the way her heart skips, or the full body rush she is experiencing, or the grin, or the joy she feels bubbling up in her chest at this ridiculous, awkward, beautiful woman floundering on her doorstep.

“I take it you want to come in and talk.” She says, grabbing Holly by both of her elbows and giving her a gentle tug over the threshold.

The sudden movement causes Holly to stumble slightly, lurching her literally into Gail’s arms to keep from falling.

[dollsandmasks]

Hello, Youkai Watch fandom, today I bring you this.

I stumbled upon this alignment chart by accident, please tell me who made it if you have their info so I could credit them.

This alignment chart uses characters from Youkai Watch Shadowside and Forever Friends (mostly Shadowside, it's just this one guy from FF), and you can see I was scraping the barrel to fill some slots. It was very fun, though, and made me rewatch some episodes I haven't touched in a while, which is always a good thing. Also, I decided to only add one character per slot, the one who fits best in my opinion ( unless the characters are practically a single unit, such as the Onimaro Trio), but that ended up pushing some major figures to the side (like, for example, Keisuke and Akinori would both be Benefactors, and Fukurou and Douketsu would both be Soldiers, but I had to choose one for each category). I know that some characters don't really fit in these narrow slots, some are up for interpretation (how much do we really know about the Onimaro Leader or the corrupt royal advisers who framed Kuuten?), and some might be me misremembering the shit out of a show I'm in love with. If you have anything to add, please feel free to do so!

Here's the list, top left to bottom right, as well as some thoughts on their placement. Beware of spoilers, though, because it gets very spoilers!

Crusader - Tsukinami Touma. The post-movie Touma, obviously. He is a genuinely good guy who fights for what's right and is associated with sword imagery, what else can you say. Also, the reason he attacked the police station while under the influence of the Onimaro was because they made him believe the police weren't doing their job right and Touma was the only one who could fight crime efficiently, which means he must care about upholding the law, making him Lawful, alignment-wise.

Nurturer - Himeno Ayame. She is the kindest soul ever and doesn't want anyone to get hurt under any circumstances. She is the the only person on the show who is consistently nice to everyone, even the team's punching bag (Micchy, that is). And she is pretty social to boot.

Benefactor - Arihoshi Akinori. He is a free-roaming magical detective who will do illegal shit to solve a case, but will also do completely legal shit to solve a case, because he likes helping people and doing the right thing. Good for him.

Hero - Amano Natsume. I mean, who else would it be? She is literally the hero of this story, and she will try to deceive the villains by giving them chocolate bars instead of sacred swords, and I'm also not sure how legal jumping into that river from the movie was, she could have been fined for that if it didn't literally save a kid's life.

Vigilante - Jibanyan. All those Nyan Reno movies must have been one hell of an inspiration. He is a free spirit indeed, I mean, aren't all cats free spirits? And he is rough around the edges, but undoubtedly heroic and kind, and he will take on the supernatural law enforcements if they try to hurt someone who's dear to him.

Protector - Arihoshi Mitsue. She has high morals (some accidental dog-and-frogslaughter aside) and follows both the common Japanese laws and the laws dictated by the supernatural realm. She is not actively heroic (she tried her best during the movie, but at her age, she probably shouldn't have), but she is both a protector of tradition and a protector of the new generation of our spirit world doo-gooders. Respect the granny!

Counsellor - Whisper. Who else is there to give counselling to our leads if not the all-knowing butler himself? Whisper respects the laws of Youmakai, and appears to be working for Enma directly in the movie (I wonder if he still does during the show itself, that would explain where the detective agency gets the money to buy all these chocobars), but, as we can see from his past in the first anime, he is no stranger to barging into the royal palace and demanding laws be changed so he could keep hanging out with a friend. His relative closeness and complete lack of respect for Enma in some cases (the You-Tube prank and the Halloween boink come to mind) seems to indicate that he would be the most likely youkai to actually talk to Enma about changing the laws of the Youmakai if he disagrees with them, instead of following them begrudgingly (making him Lawful) or straight up breaking them (making him Chaotic).

Philosopher - Komasan. Why would a dog even care about laws? Also, he gives me general philosophical observer who would rather muse about the world around him than change it vibes. He is still a good doggo who will fight for his friends when they are in danger, and he follows his morals, but he will pay no respect to the silly human laws that forbid sentient creatures from urinating in the streets. Let him live, goddammit!

Rebel - Micchy. Acts without thinking? Check. Suffers the consequences? Check. Mantains a moral standing? Check. Would totally wear a leather jacket with a word "Rebel" etched onto the back? You betcha. I mean, many superhero comics and tokusatsu shows, which he is clearly a fan of, have rebellious protagonists who do the right thing and have high moral values without necessarily following the rules or staying in their lane, and many are at odds both with the criminals and with the law enforcements. Micchy himself has a delinquent background and would totally use underhanded tactics if necessary, but he is still a good guy and a self-professed hero. This guy is everything to me.

Trickster - Junior. Fudou Myouou Boy fits here too, to a lesser extent. Junior is still a little kid, so he views the world as a fun game to play, and being raised in a detective agency where exciting things tend to happen on a weekly basis is clearly affecting his development. He can be mischevious and cause minor trouble (including, but not limited to, eating someone's ark or cheating, like, twelve or so kids out of their Yu-Go-Oh! cards), and trickstery kinda comes with being a cat, but he is still a benevolent creature and will use his powers for good, even if using them for good means scaring a guy half to death (especially if it means scaring a guy half to death).

Judge - Lord Enma. Even with his throne usurped, he is still a just and honorable ruler who cares deeply about the safety of Youmakai and is willing to sacrifice himself to protect it. He is the law, or at least was the law before Lord Kaira took the throne for himself, but even then, saving Youmakai came first for Lord Enma, and getting his throne back came, like, third or so, he didn't even bother with it in the end. Nurarihyon could be in this spot as well, at least at the time of Shadowside, but the absolute shitshow that was his time as a consort in the second movie of the first anime makes me see him as more "Lawful Disaster" or "Lawful What the Fuck" than "Lawful Neutral". There was nothing neutral about him at the time, and even during Shadowside, his devotion to everything Enma kinda takes the neutrality out of him.

Soldier - Douketsu. Fukurou could be in this spot as well, but Douketsu had considerably more screen time than him, so I went with the teach. Fukurou can never win, can he? My poor owl child. Anyway, Douketsu is the devoted type. His moral compass is based entirely on what's best for the Oni clan, and, specifically, for Shutendoji. Shutendoji's wish is his command, and, even if he does not approve of his master's actions (see the Ayame/Jorogumo disaster for reference), he will always be there for him, will follow his every whim, and is more than willing to die for him (which he eventually does). Showing compassion to anyone but his fellow Oni clan members is out of the question, kidnapping little kids is the least he would do for his master. I wonder if his colleagues ever noticed anything strange about him during his short gig as a school teacher.

Undecided - Komajiro. Frog. That's it, that's the reasoning. He frog. Baby froggo. Dat boi. Why would he have morals, why would he follow the law? He loves his brother and is a friendly little creature, but he is more than capable of revenge, both petty and not-so-petty, and you will get your eye gouged out if he doesn't like you. This is what happens when you give a frog magical powers. Frogs cannot discern between good and evil, they don't need to, they are above that. Praised be the frogs. O shit waddup.

Rogue - Mitsumata Mizuchi. The Mitsumata Brother who did not grow out of his delinquent phase, but might begin to change his ways soon - not because he wants to be good or doesn't want to be evil, he just wants his brother to respect him. Laws, morals and alignments don't mean much to him, but his pride as a Mitsumata does, and so does his family (even if his reunion with an estranged brother did end up with a girl crying and a factory getting blown up). I don't think this guy respected a single law in his entire life, if he did not break a law, it means he just wasn't feeling like it on that particular day. His plan to get his brother's attention was to kidnap a girl, tie her to a chair and write a ransom note. I'm starting to think that watching too many movies and then poorly imitating them is a Mitsumata family trait.

Free Spirit - Ogu, Mogu and Togu. I'm including all three because they are an inseparable unit and play the same role in the story. While technically part of the malicious virus hive mind, they are not particularly motivated to do good or to do evil, they just float around doing what they are told, get attached to a guy and then help the guy in any way they can because they like him, whether it is by fighting the good guys, fighting the bad guys, performing a self-sacrifice or coming back after the self-sacrifice to float around once again. They even develop enough personality to get separated from the hive mind, all while not being technically good or bad. They literally become free spirits, after spending their entire lives as non-free spirits. Godspeed.

Overlord - the owner of NGEI, the power plant from the Robonyan 00 episode. His secretary also included because I couldn't be bothered to take a screenshot where he would be alone. A corrupt businessman who wants money and power, unsafe work practices be damned. You've seen these guys in the real world, now you get to see one on the screen. Not the strongest bad guy around, one combined effort from Whisper and Junior is enough to scare him into submission, and he gets his just desserts by the end of the episode. I know that the description says "bending" the law, and the guy clearly broke some laws in managing his power plant to get arrested at the end of the episode, but he fits otherwise, and bending the laws without technically breaking them can still get you in legal trouble if your power plant catches on fire and a group of kids nearly die. Shit, or was it a factory, not a power plant? I'd fact check if my browser didn't have a lethal amount of tabs open already.

Socialite - Lord Kaira. He wanted to lead all right, and lead he did. I don't think he was even that bad at it, like, everything bad that happened during Shadowside mostly took place in the human world, and the whole Soranaki kerfuffle wasn't even his fault. Nurarihyon is responsible for more ridiculous lawmaking than Kaira ever was, as far as we know. Lord Kaira's problem wasn't how he ruled, it was how he came to power (starting a coup and throwing a guy into a prison because he was more popular back in youkai school), and how he cared about power more than he did about effectively protecting his people (either that, or he genuinely believed he would just assimilate Fudou Myouou's power and slice Oni King Rasen in half effortlessly like a potato or something). On a sidenote, do we ever learn what kind of a human-youkai hybrid he is? Was he born from a youkai parent and a human parent, was he a human who somehow turned half-youkai, is he some weird magical amalgamation which resulted from some youkai scientists playing God? Either way, it clearly gave the guy some self-esteem issues that need to be adressed.

Schemer - the Onimaro Leader. You know, the guy from the movie who manipulated a lonely kid into doing lots and lots of crime, just so he could merge with Rasen, effectively stopping to exist in the process. We don't learn much about him, but he is hellishly good at manipulation (all of his scenes with Touma made me gawk at how good he was at reading that kid) and seems to be fairly smart and logical for someone whose goal is incomprehensible to humans. Like, why would you even want that? My theory is that all Onimaro are aspects of Rasen, one way or another, and the Leader represents his smart, logical and cunning side, you know, the traits that are kind of needed to be a competent king. This would mean that Ogu, Mogu and Togu represent friendliness, empathy and having an open mind, and these are the only three Onimaro he did not absorb. Says a lot about the guy, doesn't it?

Nomad - Shien. Yup, we are entering the Forever Friends zone, because it still counts as Shadowside, kinda, sort of, same game! He is a prince who hates his dad and wants to prove himself while also being a dick about it, and a lot of political and family drama follows, resulting in many senseless and tragic deaths among the common folk. You know, just like with real life monarchies. Also, Shutendoji was there, and it made things worse (of course it made things worse), and then Soranaki attacked, and Amaterasu of all youkai was there for some reason (it lasted for three seconds and he had, like, three lines of dialogue), and we ended up getting a baby Enma as a result. This movie was something else, I'm telling you. Anyway, Shien had zero respect for anything and anyone, ever, and his second life as Lord Enma is a big improvement (his second-second life as Hikage Mao is an improvement as well, he manages to be a background character for 214 episodes of the first anime without making it known that he can see youkai, despite everything that was happening around him in the classroom. A true legend).

Psychopath - Jorogumo. Hello, my favourite spider lady! We've all heard about women's rights, now get ready for women's wrongs. She does not. Give. A fuck. Morals can fuck right off, she will suck a guy's soul from his dead skull, and she will commit identity theft while commiting a different identity theft (theftception) to manipulate a simp into doing dirty work for her, and she will ridicule him every step of the way, and she will endanger all lives, any lives, as long as she gets to do what she loves (murder and consumption of human flesh). There has never been a better depiction of "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" as a character, and that phrase originated long after Shadowside came out. I love how she got to hang out in the opening credits long after the gang had defeated her. That's how much of an impact she had on everything, all while not being even remotely connected to the Soranaki drama (if she was present during Shuka and Kuuten's time, though, she would totally meddle with them to make sure the drama gets even juicier and everyone suffers even more, all while pretending to be Shuka's bff, friendship bracelets and all. I want a fanfic of this, not gonna lie).

Dominator - the corrupt advisors who framed Kuuten. This is the only slot that I have genuinely pulled out of the depths of my ass. How much do we even know about these guys? Why did they frame Kuuten? Were they worried that he was getting too much influence in the Youmakai court due to being Shuka's lover? Were they planning to set Shuka up with a different suitor to further their political agenda? Did Kuuten do something to anger them, maybe he vetoed a law he shouldn't have or crossed paths with the wrong politician? Was there genuinely a plot to kill Shuka's father, and the advisors decided to frame Kuuten to cover up the true culprit's ass? Were the advisors themselves behind the assassination plot? Or... Maybe the advisors genuinely believed that Kuuten was scheming behind their backs, but they had no evidence so they faked it in fear that Kuuten will go through with the assassination while they are too busy trying to catch him red-handed, and it was their distrust of him, not genuine malice, that got him killed. Either way, I needed someone for the Dominator slot, so let's go with the assumption that they framed Kuuten because they were evil, and were most definitely methodical and intentional while doing so. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it's them in the picture I used, or just some youkai they hired to get rid of the pesky Kuuten supporters. That's how vague the Kuuten situation is. Real world history tends to do that too, actually.

Sociopath - Shutendoji. Let me make this clear, the alignment chart uses the term as a description of a character archetype, I'm not trying to actually diagnose Shutendoji with sociopathy or anything. He clearly needs therapy (don't we all?), but I'm not sure if that would be the right diagnosis for him, same as I'm not sure if an actual medical professional would diagnose Jorogumo with psychopathy (they would probably get eaten by her before they could finish the assessment). Anyway, this guy had an agenda (to put Shuka back in charge of Youmakai, whatever it takes), and he sacrificed everything for this agenda. We don't know if it was his personal decision or if he was raised like that by the Oni clan and just trying to finish what his ancestors had started; we don't know if he genuinely believed that life would be better for everyone under the Oni clan's rule, or if he just wanted to have political power and saw Shuka as the only way to get it. His devotion to Shuka is almost fanatical in nature, his one-track mind makes him miss obvious signs that Something is Wrong, and everything about him screams "a kid who got brought up in a literal cult and does fucked up things because he doesn't know any better", but does that absolve him of responsibility for, well, everything that happened? Not really. Also, by the time we last see him in Shadowside, his two closest friends and allies are dead, his plan has failed, he has nowhere to go and he plans on drowning his sorrows in alcohol so he wouldn't have to face the existential dread of having failed the task that he's been preparing for his entire life. The tragedy of Shuka gave birth to the tragedy of Shutendoji, and time will tell if it, too, will result in a Soranaki-level threat that some kid with a magical watch will have to fix in a hudred years or so. Jiba Jinpei's descendants better get ready.

Malefactor - Oni King Rasen. The first trial our heroes had to face on their journey to Time Timely. The monarch who actually does something, that something being smashing stuff, throwing girls into rivers, shooting blood spikes at people and generally being an evil piece of shit. He is so mindlessly evil, it's kinda hard to hate him, unless you consider him and the Onimaro Leader to be parts of the same personality, then yes, he is very hateable. Also, his defeat made for a very entertaining kamishibai play by an obscure, but highly talented artist Mike Shadowside. Look, I'm referencing my own old posts now. It's time for me to go to bed, and, thankfully, we are almost done.

Anarchist - Shiroda, the thug from the first episode. At first I misremembered his name as Sorada and wanted to have an entire bit about how him being the first enemy of the series proper was a subtle foreshadowing for Soranaki, but alas, my bad memory is to blame. Anyway, he is a criminal who does criminal things criminally and beats eleven year olds with a chain. A disgrace to all anarchists everywhere, good thing the ghost of a little boy who looks inexplicably like Kujo Jotaro got him beat up.

Destroyer - Soranaki. The grief of a wrongly accused and executed innocent which took shape and went apeshit on everything, but especially his ex-girlfriend. Destruction of beauty and life, indeed. He wants to take away lives the same way his own life was taken away once. Tokio Ubaune from the first movie of the first anime had something similar going on, but her scope was not nearly that big, and her ex actually had nothing to do with it, yet he becomes the reason she changes her ways in the games, which is kind of another parallel to Soranaki. I guess the Amano family is just doomed to keep dealing with bitter spirits who are murderously angry about getting wrongly accused of crimes they did not commit and dying in prison as a result (an understandable reaction, not gonna lie), and the best solution just happens to bring their long dead ex to them so they could make up.

Oh God, I'm going to have so much fun tagging all of this, aren't I?

Anyway, have a nice Youkai Watchi-chi day, I hope the time is timing timely for you.

[gamma-rae-bursts]

Top 3 fave foods?

Best memory?

Beach or ocean?

Salty or sweet?

Emily prentiss or alex blake?

Emily or melissa?

Fave vape flavour?

Oooooo okay okay here we go

Top 3 fave foods? you know my food hyperfixations come and go and nothing lasts but currently it's: plain cheese pizza, I would die for some rn. broccoli, I fucking love broccoli. ummmm, whipped cream?

Best memory? ummmm when I got my dog, I was 4 and the lil man has been with me ever since.

Beach or ocean? I love the idea of the ocean but I am absolutely terrified of it, I am also not a fan of just being on the beach, too much sand everywhere.

Salty or sweet? omg sweet all the way, your girl won't survive without chocolate.

Emily prentiss or alex Blake? Why would you make me make this choice. I'm going with Alex because I am writing a family fic and I LOVE HER there.

Emily or Melissa? ffs katt WHY. ummmmm, Emily? just so you know, making this choice hurt.

Fave vape flavour? NOW WE'RE TALKING! my current faves are fresh menthol mojito and cherry ice, but only crystals, I shall not come anywhere near an elf bar. (currently suffering because crystals are not available here and I'm surviving off of elux)

[rodbei]

Ok ok ok fuck you, were starting it.

And by it, I mean this blog - the way I just yapped to myself for twenty minutes in the shower about what to say - and now I have no idea.

But I guess I should introduce myself - even though - holy fuck I'm tired of introductions, like Jesus, just this last week of school, it's just constant! "Hi!, Hello!" "What's your name and pronouns?!? Oh, how about fuck you and fuck this!!! :D" Like it's exhausting I do think that's more a me thing than a general thing, like "Hi, here I am, here you go, you can forget me now."

But either way, my name is Rodbei... because that's the normal way and I am trying my best not to dox myself, my pronouns are ??/!! in the way that I have no clue and do your best!

I am doing this because I am seventeen and I just moved out and this is probably a very important time in my life I'm supposed to look back on?? But regardless I can't remember shit for shit and I should write it down so here we go:

Today I had 3 alarms - 5:00, 5:30, and 6:00 because I have to bike to school at 7:30 and be there at 8:00 and it sucks? I mean it's okay but ughhh no one likes autumn Mondays. It was cold and I didn't want to get up, but today was a good day because I could eat breakfast (normally eating breakfast is nauseating and ends with throwing up in a trashcan). So chocolate "musli," banana, and coffee were my start this morning. Also watched Smallish Beans' newest video because I am actually five years old ffs.

I met up with... should I make fake names?? Fine, I guess, I'll introduce my best "school" friend... umm... umm Red?!??... I'm going to forget that but okay. Me and Red biked to school together; Red had an electric bike while I struggled on my normal one. It was nice though since the past week has just been (ok I'm at a mixed art school so half the time we're at a normal school and the other part we're at an art school) and this past week we've been at the art school. But I live literally 30 seconds away from that school so no biking, but honestly biking is nice... downhill - too bad my school school is at the top of a giant hill -

But otherwise, school was fine. Two new students, though, which doesn't really change anything because I am a loser with zero social ability. Like, I swear I have never felt so out of place at a freaking ART SCHOOL and I am normally the art kid. Like, WHAT. But two new students, an emo kid, and some blond girl. Maybe I'll talk to the emo kid, but he reminds me of people who are too cool to try to make friends. And I am the most AWKWARD person ever. Like, I don't know how I do it. It's like a talent where I just cannot do normal small talk.

That was the interesting part of school. Red went home early because they're stupid and always a little bit sick. We had 4 subjects: movie, English, history, and math. They all sucked apart from the movie one.

But, oh my freaking god, you would think the teachers know how to teach neurodivergent kids. But they still make us sit still for 50 minutes while they talk at a board. NO ONE IS UNDERSTANDING SHIT.

My lunch today was a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, a cereal bar, and a Caprisun because I'm lazy.

After school, I raced home and ate some crappy noodles. Then I watched some Remadora bloopers because I realized I still had access to TT Patreon. YIPPE. That was the highlight of my day, I think. LMAO.

After that, Red called me, and we went shopping and made tomato soup. I bought bread forgetting I froze some earlier like an idiot, and I bought the amazing, the legendary, CANNED WHIPPED CREAM. I was never allowed to have that as a kid. YIPPE YIPPE YIPPE.

I cleaned Red's room because I'm built weird while they made us tomato soup. We ate on the floor, and I did the dishes like I always do.

Then I came back here and rotted on TikTok. Also, I planned with Monke because it's an inside joke that we could maybe go to a Girl in Red concert in two weeks. But we're both broke. YIPPE.

Also, there's a party Friday that I'm only scared to go to because I'm going alone. And I'm gonna go home this weekend and maybe watch a movie with, let's say, Monke and Bunny.

God, they would hate me for that.

Song of today is: "I Wanna Be Your Girl" by Girl in Red.

-Rodbei 16-09-2024

[lelibug]

Been trapped in Nightmare Hell through the morning.. unable to get out of there, unable to connect or come back into, reconnect with, this Reality... It'd horrible and it's Scary As Hell......

Can't see— there's a mist, a kinda veil of film like greyish or off-white stuff, covering my eyesight... Like my glasses are MEGA smudged — even after they've been cleaned to death.

I can only kinda see anything in any kind of focus with one eye open, the other shut, like when I don't have my glasses on — it's a bad, awful situation to have to manage to get through.

The AGONY in my head is INSURMOUNTABLE. It makes opening my eyes a task itself, nevermind what it's like when I DO end up sort-of opening them....

I'm dizzy as all HELLS... Like ice gone twizzies and trying to manage stuff afterwards. Even thinking I'd too hard ... Everything else is absolutely utterly Impossible.

This Fibro FlareUp Is Seriously SO Kicking My Ass, it's... BEYOND Debilitating into TORTUROUS... It's Still Going. The PAIN is EXCRUTIATING. Moving doesn't happen without eye-watering, breath-taking AGONY. Meds have become SO Difficult to try and swallow (again)...

My Brain is about 80-99% Offline,

Slipping into Major ZoneOuts & BAD, Disturbing Hallucinations...

It's Blacking Out Again & Again & AGAIN...Days, Weeks, Months Just VANISHED. Into an Ether of Unconsciousness.

Zone Outs, BlackOuts... Blarey-Eyed & Exhausted... Utterly fucking WRECKED.

Another BAD NIGHT. Over & Over AGAIN.

NO proper food. No proper - or ANY! - Nutrition, AGAIN. Ate pancakes and some ready roasted chicken breast for "Dinner". That's all I manage these days.

Eating food makes me Black Out now. Utterly Unconscious & Unresponsive. For an average of about an hour.

The Daemon Prince of Hell is Quiet & Happy. Getting Happier. Eating Disorders/Anorexia Brain feed getting what it wants with ignored eating throughout the days

Have eaten sugary things. No real food. Not even my sammich because no one brought it out and I can't go and get it 😭 😔

A few days ago I Aspirated a sodding CAT'S CLAW Pill... I've never done THAT before. It's always been the smaller ones, like Baclofen... Like I did this morning. I Aspirated a damned Baclofen during Morning Meds on, as well... FFS....(!!!!????!!!???!)

My head is hurting SO fucking MUCH now.... Mam had to Bang my back again Hard This Time.

Haven't had to do that in a few weeks, maybe months, because if it's happened, I've managed to retch it up myself somehow. Including This Morning's One.

This Dysphagia malarkey is starting to fucking Gather Steam Again. This is NOT Good. Weather? Stress?? Haven't fucking slept, or even rested in bed, for a while. Sure as hell haven't been able to rest out of bed.

Everything has been a CHAOTIC PALAVER these last couple of weeks or so. Then the weather decided to go Stupid MEGA RollerCoster Isobars on us, as well...

An HOUR and two coffees later... and it's somewhat better... The PAINFUL AGONY in my head is down to a 9 {maybe}... Eyes have recovered a little with the film becoming a kind of haze, and I can use Both Eyes...

I'm going to have to find out sooner rather than later if the loss of focus is to do with my brain or my eyes....

It won't be good if it's my brain, clearly. But it's not going to be good news if it's my eyes, either. Getting worse than -8.25 is getting B.A.D...

I'm NOT OK. I've NUMBED.

Still feel SO HOLLOW by what happened the Animal Rescue Centre... Can't seem to get a grip on spiralling out on it...

Been another feeling really ill day... Had no BlackOuts, only a couple of Severe ZoneOuts. But then i didn't have any food, either.

Trying to do Meds for Lolli... It'd Meds Night, and we need enough to a lot over our next date.

Right now I just finished a grenade protein bar of chocolate and I had a couple of custard creams... Nothing more. And nothing really happened.

Guess that says a lot.

I don't know How or Quite Why what happened at the Rescue Centre was Triggering, but it's been MASSIVE... but I don't know where to go from here.

Especially when it looks like from the get-go they don't want us to even BE there.

It's too complex and too multi-faceted what went WRONG that day, how it played out.

I wasn't in control and it turned into a Clusterfuck.

I'm still TERRIFIED of going back.

I don't know what to do.

[madam-wakefield]

Open When...Chapter 10

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn’t sure how she’s going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn’t expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn’t a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn’t all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta’d. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when it’s our anniversary…

Serena decides—unlike her birthday—to take their anniversary off. Her birthday was about her, but this is about them. She wants to be able to do things to remind her of Bernie, to connect with her girlfriend despite the distance between them. 

She had already decided that she wants to spend the day getting a collection of photos that tell a story of the two of them to send to Bernie in a belated anniversary care package. She’s already sent Bernie a gift to open today, with a card and some chocolate, and a promise to buy her a proper present once she’s home, but she wants to do more. Bernie has done so much for her and she wants to make her girlfriend’s time away just a little bit more bearable.

She starts her morning with breakfast in bed, a tray laden with coffee, homemade pancakes and fresh fruit, strawberries for her and raspberries for Bernie. She takes a picture of the tray before tucking in. 

Next, she showers, and can anyone blame her if she uses Bernie’s body wash rather than her own, letting the lather mix with the steam of the shower, the scent surrounding her like a hug. After that she dresses, wearing that blouse that Jason hates so much but that she can’t help but be fond of due to the fact she was wearing it, on this day three years ago. She gets Jason to take a picture of her, his face unable to hide the disgust at the fact she is wearing that shirt. 

She turns to her gifts then; Morven had handed them to her yesterday at the end of her shift on AAU telling her to appreciate the next few days off and to enjoy their anniversary despite the situation and distance between them. She sits on the sofa, fingers brushing over the messy wrapping underneath her fingers. It turns out it’s not just wrapping gifts in taxis that makes Bernie’s wrapping horrific, but the smile the memory gives her of it is so very worth the awful wrapping. 

She opens it gently, wanting to enjoy this moment and as the paper falls away and her eyes catch sight of the beautiful cream leather jewellery box below, she can’t help but smile even more because Bernie knows her so well. Serena’s jewellery box has been falling apart for so long, but she’s just never gotten around to replacing it. She doesn’t waste any time in taking it upstairs and filling it with the contents of her very battered one, before unceremoniously throwing it in the bin. 

She goes out to the shop after that, picks up all of the things she wants to put in Bernie’s care package, putting all of Bernie’s favourite sweets in the package: First, Skittles, Jelly Tots, Maltesers, and, of course, Jelly Babies. She picks up two Snickers bars since she knows how much Bernie loves them. It’s chocolate Hobnobs that make it into the trolley next along with some hot chocolate sachets, knowing it won’t taste as good as the hot chocolate Bernie makes, but that it will help Bernie feel a little closer to home. 

The pot noodles and the Bird’s Custard Powder make for the last of the food items, so she walks over and finds a puzzle book, knowing it���s not something that Bernie would ever consider doing when at home, but had explained to her that she finds useful for helping her mind wind down when she can’t sleep due to its own musing or the noise of the front line. Then for good measure, just in case Bernie has used, given away or lost the ones she took with her, she adds pens and pencils to the trolley. She takes it all home and packs it neatly in one of the care package boxes she’d brought just for occasions like this. She doesn’t seal it, however, knows she wants to add her own letter and some photographs before sending it. 

She’s just getting ready to sit down for lunch when the doorbell rings and standing at her door is a delivery driver holding the most beautiful bunch of sunflowers that Serena has ever seen. She has to shake her head at the fact it’s the end of November and only Bernie bloody Wolfe would have been able to arrange for a florist to bring her a bouquet of sunflowers, knowing she’s chosen them on purpose because this is their third anniversary. 

She goes to unwrap them, ready to find a vase, only to realise that the flowers were already in a delicate glass vase. Her girlfriend really is unbelievable, and what with the jewellery box too it really is too much. She places the vase on the fireplace, and it adds a beautiful splash of colour to the room. She snaps a picture of them, wanting to ensure Bernie knows just how beautiful they are, and that it was totally worth the effort of finding someone who could fulfil her ridiculous request. 

She heads to Albie’s after lunch. She doesn’t need a drink, per se, but Albie’s has so many shared memories for her and Bernie that she can’t not go there on such a special day for the two of them. She only has one glass of Shiraz, a rarity for her, especially in Albie’s. Considering the time of day, the only person she knows is the bartender, who looks at her quizzically as she takes a picture of her full glass, but Serena quickly explains what day it is, and why she wants the picture and why she’s only having one. She’s got so much more she wants to do after all. 

One of the last things she does is to go for a walk to the park she and Bernie so often frequent on a lazy Sunday morning when they are both lucky enough to be off work. It’s the perfect mix of quiet and busy, there are places where they can be around people, enjoy the buzz of others, but there are also plenty of areas where they can find space to be alone to enjoy it just being the two of them. They have a favourite bench, one they found totally by accident the fourth time they visited together. It’s surrounded by trees and Serena can’t believe how much it changes during the year. Right now, in late November all the trees are just about bare, but it still has an ethereal beauty to it. She sits and allows herself to think about how bloody lucky she is. She is the one who gets to call Bernie hers, and despite the fact Bernie isn’t with her, she can’t help but smile brightly. 

It takes her a while to find the right angle to take a picture that shows the trees in their true beauty but in the end, she manages and it’s only then that she finally lets herself take Bernie’s Open When letter out of her coat pocket, removing one of her gloves briefly enough to slip the letter out of the envelope. 

My Dearest Serena,

Three whole years together, 1096 days. Three years of being with the most amazing person in the world. I’m so glad of how far we have come during that time. I still remember the first day I saw you, getting cross at your mechanic, over the phone, because he couldn’t fix your car. I can still remember the way we slowly got to know each other after that, not without issues, but part of our story all the same. The way neither of us could be honest with the other about what we really wanted. I used to daydream about you back then, during the day when I should have been doing paperwork and at night while I was sleeping. I could never get you off my mind, hoping that one day you’d be mine. 

Look at us now, a three-year anniversary and I couldn’t be more thankful for our relationship. All the precious moments we’ve had together, time we both treasure. There have been some tough times too, including the current situation, but we’ve made it through, because our love is something special and strong and we can make it through anything together. 

The way I feel just being able to write you this letter is amazing, never in my life did I ever think I’d be able to have this with anyone, a relationship where I am so truly in love and am loved so truly that it makes my heart feel like singing. 

I have never met another person like you, Serena, someone who is so willing to put me before themselves, who cares for me so deeply. You’ve made me realise the perfect person for me really does exist because it’s you. 

There is no one else in the world that I would rather share my hopes, dreams and wishes with. I’m not saying we are without flaws, but I do know I am so blessed with what I have in you, to have a relationship built upon faithfulness, honesty, loyalty, care and love. You complete me, in a way I never knew I needed completing. I am so lucky that fate brought us together. I miss you so dearly and love you with every ounce of my being.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena has to wonder how Bernie had the time to write all these letters, how she had time to pour her heart and soul out onto every one of the pages without Serena having any idea. She really doesn’t know but she is so thankful that she had, because the letter is just perfect and sums them up perfectly. She hopes that the reply she plans on writing later lives up even in part to what Bernie has written for her. 

She forces herself to leave the park as it starts to grow dark. After all, she’s got a dinner reservation at an Italian restaurant with an extensive wine list. It’s the first time she’s visited since Bernie left well over three months ago. She’s shown to her seat by their favourite waitress, Sammie, who instantly inquires where Bernie is, and is as attentive as always while Serena takes time to explain the series of events that led to her celebrating their three-year anniversary here alone. 

She’s usually a risotto kind of woman, but she orders the Pesto alla Genovese with a side of Arancini since it’s Bernie’s usual dish. But today it just feels right, her own special way of feeling that little bit closer to Bernie. Though, of course, she has to work her way a little further through the wine list. At the end of the meal when she goes to pay the bill, Sammie tells her it’s covered and to send their best wishes to Bernie, next time she contacts her. Serena wells up a little at the kindness, and instead leaves the cost of the bill as a tip for Sammie. 

She climbs into bed a little over an hour later, wrapped in Bernie’s thick dressing gown, bluey and her favourite writing pen in hand.  

Dear Bernie, 

It’s my turn to write you an essay. Today is our anniversary and I have spent the day doing all of the things that remind me of you, with the promise that I will give you the best belated anniversary once you are back home. I have enclosed a series of pictures and I hope you will look at each one and read the short accompanying message.

The first was breakfast in bed, freshly made pancakes, strong hot coffee and fruit, the raspberries—while not my favourite—were my little addition, just for you. Then of course I had to wear my ‘horrible blouse’ as Jason so affectionately calls it, but can you blame me when it’s what I was wearing when Jason changed both our lives by playing cupid? I made him take the picture I’ve enclosed. I’m not sure he was too impressed but I’m hoping it will make the rest of the time we are apart just a little easier on you. 

The jewellery box you bought me was beautiful, so thank you. I have already adorned it with my ridiculously large jewellery collection, and it fits beautifully upon my bedside table. I did have to laugh at your ridiculous wrapping skills though. I really do need to teach you before I let you anywhere near the Christmas presents next year! 

I visited the supermarket then, such a romantic place on our anniversary, I know, but I wanted to get you some proper bits for this care package. Sorry, it’s not much, stupid 2kg weight limit. 

I was just getting ready for lunch when the doorbell rang, how the hell did you find a florist to deliver sunflowers! It’s November! On a more serious note, they are delightful and add the perfect splash of colour to the living room, and the vase is just beautiful. I think it may already have become my new favourite so thank you for that. You truly have spoiled me even if you shouldn’t have. 

Of course, it wouldn’t be our anniversary without a trip to Albie’s. I treated myself to the best Shiraz they have, though it’s still not as good as our best Shiraz, remind me to open a bottle to celebrate once you get home! 

I visited our bench late this afternoon, just before dusk started to settle. It was a little cold but beautiful all the same. It’s where I opened your letter, knowing it was the only place for such a thing today. It was beautiful, and heartfelt as always, I’m still in awe of the fact you did that for me before you went away. 

You know you really are something special. I’ve enclosed a picture of the trees; I can’t help but think they have an ethereal beauty to them in their bare state. They’ll be right at the end of blossoming by the time you come home. It feels like such a long time right now. 

I finished the day with a trip to our Italian place with the wine list, it’s the first time I’ve been able to face the place since you’ve been gone. Sammie asked where you were and sent her wishes once I’d explained. I may have managed to cross three more wines off the list, though there are plenty more to go. 

My day has ended sitting in bed, wrapped in your dressing gown writing this. You may not have been with me, but it doesn’t stop the love I have for you. I’ve missed you today but in a different kind of way than usual, I’ve felt close to you even though we are so very far apart. I miss you like crazy and know I will continue to do so until you’re home, and I love you more than words in a letter can ever express. Thank you for my gifts and letter again, I hope you enjoy your pictures and care package.

All my love, darling,

Stay safe, soldier.

Serena x

[iceeericeee]

incorrect quotes of my OC’s: pt. 6

Adrielle: You’ve got to act tough, Charlie! Show ‘em you can’t be pushed around! Show ‘em they can’t mess with you!

Charlie: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it.

Charlie: *standing up on her stool and slamming her hands down on the bar* I’LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK!

Charlie: *pause* please?

Adrielle: oh ffs

[lacuna-lunax]

12/05/23

Ffs life is just aghhhh.

Today (1500):

Coffee

Grenade Cark Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Monster Energy Ultra

Gobi Dhansak Curry (VE)

Pro Fit Chocolate Fudge Brownie Protein Bar

M&M’s Crispy

Tomorrow (1500):

Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Cookie

Monster Energy Ultra

7UP Zero Sparkling Lemon & Lime Drink

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Tasty Bites

Blueberry Yoghurt

Mallow & Marsh Vanilla Marshmallow Bar

FULFIL Chocolate Peanut & Caramel Vitamin & Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Giant Chocolate Buttons

Sunday (1500):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Peanut Butter & Jelly

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise

7UP Zero Sparkling Lemon & Lime Drink

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Tasty Bites

So Sticky Toffee Yoghurt

Galaxy Smooth Milk Chocolate Snack Bar

MaxiNutrition Premium Cinnamon Crunch Protein Bar

M&M’s Brownie

[blissfulalchemist]

96%. a typical weekend for your character is like… (+ carly & stasia, any verses xx)

Thank you Stella! Always coming in for the girls 🥰 Their typical weekends kind of look fairly similar for Stasia in both universes. Carly has a slight deviation but she also has a more active partner in Zenos than Stasia.

For Stasia you gotta get that woman to stop her work strictly at mid afternoon on Saturday or else she’s not going to do anything else. She will take the time to dress nice and go out to eat at a restaurant by herself, has a book, rarely eats with anyone else, has to have the same spot but she’s there at the same time every Saturday and is never late more than 30min. If there’s a play or symphony or something else interesting she’ll attend but if not it’s him straight to the bath. Soft lighting, calming music, steaming, rose or lavender scents filling the room, and just enough bubbles to make it tasteful and uninterrupting to her night. Sundays are strictly for lounging about in her soft and silky robes and cute lingerie underneath, there might be some casual work in checking status but very passive. Time to just try and watch tv people are into and she finds that she hates, cook herself a nice meal, maybe have a guest over if it’s been awhile, and simply just enjoy the view from up top of the world.

Carly’s weekends are all about moving and finding new hangouts. You'll find her at bars, clubs, parties you name it she's there. Is she also on the hunt for some prey? Yeah sure, its called multitasking. Once she's back home and has had her fill she's lounging watching bad reality tv, "eating" bon bons and chocolate covered strawberries, theres a glass of what you hope is wine or blood laced champagne, she's in a nice robe the ones that one wears when they totally didn't murder their husband officer, she's got some pet of hers pampering her and telling her body double just where to go and take pictures of so she has things to post for the week. This is more for her og verse, for her ff verse she's still on the move but she's training, getting handsy with Zenos, trying to get some from Stasia, she's reveling in the idea of luxury sitting on thrones and asking people to do things for her, listening to the soldiers' inane problems that she then gets to tell them to suck it up, some deserters have been given to her, gets just enough blood on her to get her man going, she's enjoying walking down the streets of their occupied territories and seeing the way people react in fear, hatred, and defeat on occasion. She's just here for a good time and frankly she's entitled to such things.