#female liberation now
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For those of you who haven't heard, Afghanistan passed a new "Law on the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice," which places even more restrictions on women.
Under Taliban rule, women and girls are now required to fully cover their heads and bodies and their voices are forbidden in public.
Women and girls are legally forbidden from speaking in public.
They're also prohibited from interacting with non-Muslims, using public transportation by themselves, and looking at any man they either aren't married to or aren't related to.
Child marriage of girls also still continues in Afghanistan, and women and girls still have no right to education.
Seriously, please help spread information about what's happening to women in both Afghanistan and Iran. Women, Life, Freedom.
#Afghanistan#Women life freedom#female liberation now#Afghan women#women's rights#human rights#social justice#current events#activism
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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Hey, can you tell me more about your pet bird?
I found him outside last summer and now he just lives in my room rent free screaming and shitting
he weighs only 1oz but you can hear him screaming from the end of the street while he's still inside. it's insane how loud parrots get
#vet told me hes actually a female but at that point i was so used to calling him my little boy i didnt care. hes my trans bird now#those darn liberals. turning the frogs gay and transing the parrots
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List of things m*n expect women to never use against them:
their lack of ability to carry or birth offspring
lack of ability (and desire) to effectively and consistently care for their spouse and children
lack of ability to socially and emotionally take care of themselves
lack of propensity to care about other people around them
lack of emotional maturity and no emotional intelligence
lack of control or willingness to control themselves in the matters of lust, violence, alcohol, power, exploitation, sexual violence, rage
being the perpetrators of 90% of all violent crimes and committing almost all sexually violent crimes
history of oppression, torture, rape and abuse of women
holding the largest percentage of all wealth, land, resources, jobs, economic power, media, entertainment, sports
being centered in education, healthcare, history, science and media despite producing the least helpful and the most harmful results across all boards
doing worse academically, socially, emotionally and sexually, while still using privilege and past of oppression to hold down majority of well-paid jobs and positions in society
taking credit for women’s work whenever possible
creating male-lead religions that do their best to guilt women into accepting the role of servitude and suffering
misogyny and world-wide mistreatment and sabotage of women’s success
blatantly caring for power, violence, wars, sports, other males and their own imaginary positions in society more than they care about women’s well being, health, safety, happiness, quality of life, or even survival
List of things m*n have used against women:
having bodies that prioritize vitality, health, defense from disease, agility, balance, surviving lack of nurturing, cycles of hormones and functions, carrying the role of reproduction instead of brute power and force
i.e female bodies being generally smaller and less physically powerful, while better adapted to survival and reproduction in any condition and environment (used to control women via threats of violence)
women having more responsibility and emotional maturity, this is used to coerce and corner women into being the sole caretakers of offspring, elderly, sick, wounded, and often the m*n too
women having compassion and giving anyone the benefit of the doubt (used to manipulate women back into abuse)
women being able to carry and birth children
women being able to preform tasks with more consideration, continuity, responsibility, accuracy, knowledge and within an expected time frame (used to take delegate all the task-heavy and continuous work to women while taking credit)
women being able to form bonds in the family and community, ability to keep the bonds based on mutual help, cooperation, sense of togetherness and community (this is used to have women sacrifice their time and energy to keep families together, often at their own expense and harm)
being considerate and polite (used to talk over women, take their time and energy, take their voice in the public and shut them down from speaking, also to force their sexual advances)
women being kind (used to coerce women into caring for their abusers and giving them money, resources, and allowances even with the continual hurt)
women’s propensity to care for their offspring (used to trap women in unhappy and abusive marriages, threatening to take away children if women refuse to be controlled, punishing them by punishing or manipulating the children)
young women’s innocence, lack of sexual experience, lack of experience in general (used for purposes of sexual control and sexual abuse)
women’s man-made position in the world where they are less likely to inherit shelter, survival resources, economic power or rights to their parent’s estate, and less likely to gain a high-paying position (used to coerce them into marriages out of survival, prostitution, human trafficking)
women’s propensity to feel shame, discomfort and self hatred at being told they’re unwanted, despised, not good enough, or unlovable (used to isolate women from each other and the society, to be abused in private)
women’s fear of not being socially accepted and liked (used to convince women they are each other’s competition in being liked, and turn them against each other)
women’s homosexuality (used to break sexual and physical boundaries of women who cannot possibly get actual pleasure out of it)
women’s attraction to men (used to sell them idea of love and trap them in marriages, use them for unwanted reproductive and sexual purposes and insist women must have wanted it)
women’s sweetness, joy, desires to please others, wanting to be useful (used to create sexualized and male-fantasy version of women who exist in male’s heads only to please and serve them and make them feel good)
the appearance of women’s bodies (anything that can be sexualized, demoted, humiliated, insulted, hurt, degraded and depicted in a role of service and non-humanity has been done)
#radical feminism#radfem analysis#female bodies#female liberation#anti male#anti patriarchy#add more if you can think of more#i would but i feel angry and sickened by now
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There’s a pair of kids i work with, a 5th grade boy and a 4th grade girl; they have been friends since childhood. I’ve been trying to gain their trust for awhile so the real work of self-development can begin, and today it seemed like things were going very smoothly, they were comfortable with me and we were joking around and having a good time. At one point we were reading a book with two characters, one is a boy and one is a girl, but since they’re animals it’s not very obvious. So it took them awhile before they realised, when in the middle of the book the pig is called ‘she’. Since the boy was reading the pig part, he immediately insisted they change parts (the elephant is a boy). I was like, “Boys and girls are both people, we’re all just people, what’s the difference? and he literally said: “Boys are gods, girls are people.”
I immediately lost interest in having any relationship with this person, who just said to my face that he’s superior to me. So I just gestured to them to keep reading the book, and took out my phone to read something else to calm down. I think he could tell he’d done violence to our relationship, because he suddenly started reading the book very violently, and started to order his friend around. Or maybe he felt he had to justify what he just said?
This is exactly why I only want to work with girls. Because I don’t want to deal with this bullshit. I don’t want to invest in these trash human beings who can’t even see other people as human.
My friends say, “Oh, but that’s why we need you! to help change these boys!”
And I’m like, oh, yeah, i see this kid once a week for two hours, that’s really going to make a difference when he is looking forward to being a god amongst his inferiors. fuck that, what the hell difference can I make? and why is it on me?
Honestly I don’t even know what I could have said to him, what teachable moment there was in that, when all I could do was see red at how casually he had labelled me as inferior to him.
#fucking men and their dipshit philosophy#feministdragon#radfem#radical feminism#feminist#women's liberation#human rights#radfems#women's rights#women's rights are human rights#separatism now#separatism#female separatism
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i keep getting stuck being forced to take classes i despise and that have no relevance to me so i’m going to go all malicious compliance on every single assignment and subtly insult the class material and/or professor
#i’ve taken other sociology classes here that didn’t completely suck because they were about economic equality and such#but now i’m stuck in the intro 101 class as an upperclassman who’s taken higher courses and also doesn’t care?#why.#not to sound like a 70 year old far right man but. this is just a forcefeeding of the liberal agenda#if the (male) professor calls us ‘those who might identify as female’ one more time i’m going to bite him#magic how he doesn’t say that about the men…#’how did your culture shape you’ first of all it didn’t actually. not very much. and if it did i don’t care#you wouldn’t believe it but being raised catholic made me hate the faith. my own discovery and actions made me love it#what you see is ‘raised catholic and is currently catholic’. what you don’t see is the anguish in between. that was all me not society#i am quite conscious of the circumstances of my life i don’t need to be enlightened i’ve been reflecting on this myself for 6 years now#’humans are not born with any instincts!’ yes yes the nurture vs nature debate that sounds like your personal opinion of it that’s not fact#i’ve heard all this ten thousand times in every class even non-soc classes#i understand the material. i just don’t agree with it and never will. deal
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i miss gijeong unnie i hope she's happy (and that she broke up with her boyfriend 😋✌️)
#my liberation notes#i accepted her ending bc i want her to be happy and if she SAYS she's happy then i can't tell her she isn't right#and i respect phy too much as a writer to not respect the agency of her wonderfully chaotic female characters#but unnie. you used to sparkle#yeah you were exhausted for a long time because you felt the pressure to date and get married#but now you're liberated from that expectation! be free gijeong unnie ㅠㅠ#you don't even need to find a better man (though jinu is right there)#just. be a better person a better sister a better friend!#sparkle and be fun and as infinitely charming as you always have been!#you don't need to tie yourself to this guy who only makes you less of yourself ㅠㅠ#i love you gijeong unnie i'm always rooting for you too#i know i've contributed A LOT to the misconception that mln is only abt gumijeong#but i love changhee and gijeong too#AND HYEONA. I LOVE HYEONA SO MUCH
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Over 338 women were killed in Turkey since March 2023, an activist group says. ISTANBUL -- Thousands of women took to the streets of Istanbul, Turkey, to mark International Women's Day Friday despite a ban by the government, demanding equality and change of laws to protect women and help them gain their rights in the country and around the world. Waving purple flags as a sign of International Women's Day, they filled the air with slogans and rallying cries despite a ban on rallies by authorities. "The world would shake if women were free," "Resist for rebellion, resist for freedom," and "Woman, Life, Freedom," they chanted. While the police had blocked access to the streets leading to the protest location several hours ahead, some women said they figured out their own ways to get there and participate in the protest. "I have been here in this coffeeshop today at 1 pm to make it here at 7:30 pm," Irem, 35, told ABC News. "Women's rights are basically nonexistent in Turkey right now," she added. Turkey was the first country to join the Istanbul Convention in March 2012 which aims at preventing gender-based violence by setting legally binding standards to protect victims and punish perpetrators. However, 9 years later, in 2021, Turkey became the first and only country that left the convention in a decision made by President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan's Islamic leaning government who believed the treaty eroded their conservative values.
Irem said the Turkish government has been backsliding in terms of women's rights and mentioned the rising number of femicide cases across Turkey over the past 10 to15 years. According to We Will Stop Femicide, a prominent activist group in Turkey, 338 women have been murdered since March 2023, and 248 died under suspicious circumstances. The campaign added that 212 of these women were killed at home, 134 of them by their husbands, 47 by their boyfriends, and 36 by their ex-husbands. Two of the victims did not know their murderers at all, according to the group. Protestors called for more unity among women and for finding ways to get out of the situation and make things better for women and members of minority groups such as the LGBTOAI community. Yagmour, a young protestor wearing an all-purple outfit and makeup, said she has attended the 8th of March protests in different cities of Turkey over the years. Despite her disappointment with the government's policies, she said she keeps up her hopes in women's power from around the world to pay attention to each other and also to the situation in Turkey. "As women, it is important that we all stay together, no matter what nationality," she told ABC News.
This article is written by Somayeh Malekian, Maggie Rulli, and Engin Bas, March 9, 2024, 5:06 AM
#Turkey#women's rights#feminism#global feminism#Turkish women#violence against women#domestic violence#femicide#sex based oppression#male violence#womens rights#female liberation now
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After a lifetime of useless research, exams, radiations and coins thrown at the wind, I am going back to what my grandma thought me. I am fine, everyone is in pain and it's ok, just accept it as a fact of life. If one day you'll end up dead, it's just life. Why should I stress so much trying to find or do something that even doctors don't know about
#This post is about#endometriosis#And#mental illness#We never really studied the female body so why should I waste my life trying to do that with a liberal art degree#Also idk if you know but sometimes mental illnesses are caused by your reaction to physical illnesses#And when my therapist told me that I was like ooooooo so that's why I'm fucked up#Anyway if you ask of me I'll be over in my corner nursing my very normal status of very normal human body with normal organs#Sometimes pain is normal because I chose to believe that#Because it's fucking exhausting to always be the problem#Sometimes life sucks and the path it chose for you it's a shitty path but i surrender to the evidence that I am too tired to give a shit#I've tried enough now I take what I can in spite of all that I lost#chronic illness
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Sent nephew's present.
#Lent 2024#3/22/24#meant to get a haircut#but turns out 'walk ins welcome'#doesn't include females#ANYWAY#sent the nephew the book he asked for#and also the Complete Works of Saki#my dad gave me a copy when I was bit younger than the nephew is now#and was all#I do not understand#why are you giving me this#Read it anyway#few years after that#pretty sure I passed a class#because I could indignantly assert#that The Strange Death of Liberal England#mischaracterized the ending of When William Came#plus I tossed in a Dozois anthology because the nephew might like some of it
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Finding out one of your (formerly) favourite coworkers is a homophobe is so painful. Everyone loses
#hi why does the kindly old lancastrian man have to hate lesbians#EVERYBODY loses like what is the point of this#he was talking about his granddaughter and saying like ‘oh she doesn’t really seem to like boys yet’ and our other coworker was like ‘maybe#she likes girls’ and he was like ‘oh i hope not’ and my heart just sank#but why did he have to double down and also call somebody a dyke. why did that have to happen#ya girl at this point was wiping down shelves and dying inside because i didn’t confront him and i didn’t feel comfortable confronting him#and i was tired and hungry and just wanted to go home. i think it was like 5 minutes from the end of my shift so by then i just wanted#to clock out and go see mabel#but it was so……. like why. why this#he was giving cool older liberal who has somehow survived to the present day vibes and now i’m just like okay great. i have been lied to#there’s a part of me now that’s like. do i show up homosexually tomorrow. i could wear my pride earrings and my female-female symbol#necklace. idk. probably won’t do any good but i would find it funny to make him repeat that sentiment to my face with the full knowledge#that he said it not knowing what i am#i just hate when stuff like this happens. chiefly because i hate confrontation but am also kind of a loose cannon when i’m mad enough#like i might make it until the end of my contract without saying anything to him but i might end up in prison for assaulting an old man#who can be sure. certainly not me#regardless.. i’m going to wear the pride earrings tomorrow lol. i need a change from my regular hoops anyway#personal
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Simple Math / Part Thirteen
Simple Math masterlist
Ghost/Soap/female reader 4.2k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Nurse!reader. Domestic slice of life. Feelings of fear, self loathing, anxiety, dread. Complicated emotions. Verbal depiction of domestic violence. Non sexual intimacy. Scars from cigarette burns. Very brief daddy kink. Sick character (not reader). Comfort. Confessions.
The park is quiet.
You hoped it would be- middle of the day, in the middle of a work week, in the middle of the city. There are a few people around, walking, running, lingering. Enjoying themselves, the warmth of the sun on their face, a bright spot amid a typically grey winter.
It makes it easier. To look.
To watch.
To wait.
And you do. You wait, and you wait. You sit steady on the park bench, pretending to be remotely interested in the rough paperback cradled in your lap, spine already cracked flimsy by Simon’s grip. It’s Stephen King. Carrie, if you’re precise. A story of stolen girlhood and rage.
You swallow the shards of glass and acid the pages bring forth.
Deep breath.
The breeze gusts, and your shoulders nearly shake. It’s been a long, long time since you’ve sat out in the open like this.
Easy prey.
You may have always been easy prey. Easy and young and stupid, easy, and naïve and manipulated. You fell for every trick in the book. You didn’t see the signs until it was too late.
Still, you watch. You wait.
You considered, for a while, that if Philip was around, if he was in the city, looking for you- he’d arrive here. Like magic. Like a classic villain, materializing in a plume of smoke.
And while it’s not exactly comfort you feel as each minute ticks by and he fails to appear, there’s relief in your soul for certain.
It’s a risk, to sit here. A question. With an answer, for now.
Will he? Won’t he?
Today, the answer is he won’t.
Your phone vibrates, and you don’t need to look at it to know, guilt worming its way into the depths of your heart, anxiety piquing as you imagine both Simon and Johnny at their house, their home, worried.
Don’t fool yourself. Don’t give yourself too much credit. Don’t get carried away.
Someone clears their throat over the back of the bench, and you whirl.
“Hey, sorry.” Your pulse slows from a gallop to something slower, and you shake your head.
“You can’t sneak up on me like that.” The man shrugs his second apology, legs spreading into the spot next to you. You’re practiced at this, familiar. Knowledgeable enough to keep your hands from shaking, even though the tremor builds through your bones.
“Been waitin’ for you to call.”
“I’ve been busy.” You eye the black bag in his hands, a small black fabric pouch, gold zipper glinting in the sun. “That everything?” He nods.
“Can I ask-“
“No.”
“Just seems strange, is all. Pretty, polished thing like you, needin’ all this. Most of my clients are more… rough around the edges.” Your teeth dig into your tongue. Already, this guy is less discreet and more obnoxious than your last purveyor. You wish you had hidden your face.
Like Simon.
“We’re solid, then?” You unzip the pouch, cursory eye roaming over the collection inside, checking off a mental list. Usually, you would feel relief at this point, but today, it sours and rots. Liberation burns into a roaring wave of uncertainty, and your fingers tighten over the zipper.
“We’re good.” He stands, giving you one last long look, and then his mouth shifts into a half smile. “Good luck.” Your polite nod is strained and forced. A nonverbal fuck off.
He takes the cue, and slinks away, disappearing around a corner and out of sight.
The bag weighs heavily in your hands. A terrible reminder of the truth.
You’ll never have a life. You’ll never have a family. You’ll always be alone.
You’ll never be pretty or polished or perfect.
You’ll always be this.
Scarred. Sectioned off. Scared.
Desperation wells, and you close your eyes. You see Johnny, and Simon. Their faces. Sunlight in bleak darkness.
Love and family and strength.
The ache in your chest widens. You want to be home, with them. Curled up, with them. Sitting at the table and eating dinner, with them. All these things, these domestic, familiar things that once seemed so unattainable, now within arm’s reach.
But still so far away.
Your shoulders relax a fraction, dipping lower, the strain on your injury zinging through your muscles as you roll them, and you shove the little bag into the backpack, above the clothes you pulled from your apartment.
Deep breath.
Johnny’s the first you see after locking the front door. He’s in the kitchen, half leaning on his crutch, fishing something out of a pot, a noodle of some kind, and he freezes, eyes heavy with relief, when you come around the corner.
“Bunny.” His good arm reaches, fingers brushing together, cold against warm. He coos. “Ye’re freezin’.”
“It’s cold.” You agree, unzipping the front of your jacket. He slides cautious and slow touch around your waist beneath it, and you go with him, face burrowing into his chest, just below his collarbone. Your nose is nearly smashed, but you can still breath him in, feel him, be in this moment with him.
His hold tightens. “What is it?”
“Sorry it took me so long.”
“That’s alright, was jus’ worried is all. Text us back next time.” You nod, but stay silent, still taking gulps of air, nosing against the collar of his shirt to find his skin. “Pretty girl,” his hand strokes over the back of your head, warm breath on your cheek. “Ye alright?” You breathe through the threat of tears, though they sting and threaten to sink you.
“Ye-yeah.” You choke, and he tries to pull back, grip steady on your upper arm, but you follow him, still trying to crawl inside and hide, wrap yourself up in him and disappear.
“Hey now,” he clucks his tongue, trying to re-focus you, trying to get your attention, nimble fingers cradling your jaw, “what is it?”
There are no words to explain it, these feelings. The fear. The dread. The bile rioting in your stomach, the anxiety churning like a turbulent sea. It’s like no matter what you do, it all comes back, no matter how deep you bury it or how much you try to change the tide.
It’s easier to lie.
“I’m tired.” You whisper, and he rubs your back.
“Did ye eat?” No.
“Yes. I got something at the hospital.”
“Paperwork all in order so ye can hang out wit’ us until ye’re better?” His smile is infectious, a mirror blooming across your own face, and he dots your nose with his lips. “There’s our girl.” Your toes curl. He tugs the backpack into his grip, and you let him, let him push you up into the counter, drop your bag to the floor, slip his tongue between his teeth. You let it all go to your head, let yourself get lost in him, twist your fingers in his hair, nipples pebbling stiff as his mouth finds the sensitive skin of your neck.
He takes it all away. Every time.
“Johnny.”
“I’ve got ye.” He finds an opening, a soft spot between your jeans and your shirt, hands roaming upward and over, everywhere. He’s everywhere, effortlessly, and you’re along for the ride, clinging so tight like you’re afraid you’ll fall.
And then-
It stops.
He’s holding your face, blue gaze unwavering, focused. “Bun, talk to me.” Your throat throbs, words sticking like taffy, clawing their way up in a jumbled mess until the only thing intelligible is what spills out.
“Is this real?” You’re a child. Small and scared, desperate for some sort of reassurance, some semblance of security.
“Is what real?” His fingers close over yours, lifting them to his lips. “This? Us?”
“Everything. All of it… I- I-“
“It’s real. It’s been real since ye held my hand the first time. Or at least, it’s been real for me… since then. Thought ye were an angel. An answer to a prayer.” He cracks a smile, thumb rubbing across the slope of your cheek. “An’ I’m not the praying type.”
“There’s… you don’t know me, Johnny. There’s so much… you don’t know.” Your chest heaves, anxiety stuttering inside your lungs, air turning thin in your mouth.
“I know, shhh. I know.” You press your face back into his chest, words slowing to a stop, a trickle. “Ye remind me of him, ye know. A lot prettier though.”
“Who?”
“Si.” He kisses your temple, your forehead, peeling away to peer at your face. “Guarded… but scared under it all. Ye dinnae even know how life can be, too busy runnin’ away.”
“Johnny-“
“Ye’ve got secrets, I know. But it’s the same thing I used to tell him. Eventually you’ve got to let go, let me in. Let us in, Bun. We’re not goin’ anywhere. We’re not afraid. Let us prove it.” Your lower lip trembles, eyes burning with the brunt of tears. “Shhh, dinnae cry. Ye’re alright, everything’s going to be okay. I swear it.” You do nothing, nothing except stand there, half folded into him, breath and touch agonizingly slow, steady in his hold.
The two of you stay there, in the silence, until the agonized sear of distress starts to fade, and you begin to balance, ship righting itself after a long night in rocky seas.
Penny’s bedroom door is open.
The soft glow of a nightlight floats into the hall, and you peer past, finding Simon with his arms full, reclined in the rocking chair, a nearly asleep Penny gap mouthed in his arms. You wave.
“Hi,” he whispers, “get everything you needed?”
“Yeah, all set.” You nod to the baby. “She’s knocked.”
“Bath time was rough.” He traces her cheek, twirling a finger in her hair. A soft, faultless picture, his features delicately framed by shadow, thick arms the perfect place for a baby, an easy cradle.
It’s an intimate moment, and inside it, you feel out of place.
“I’ll see you downstairs?” You shift away, motioning, and he hums.
“In a few.”
Everything is slow with them in the evenings, you’ve realized.
They move leisurely, dancing around one another, Simon constantly watching and waiting, for both you and Johnny, anticipating. It’s a natural role, one that seems more permanent over necessary considering the circumstances, Johnny falling into an unhurried pace, languishing on the couch after dinner and dishes are done, fingers mindlessly stroking into the soft spot beneath your ear. Simon leans over, kissing Johnny and then settling at your side, an arm stretching around your back. “Should we watch something?” Johnny brightens.
“A movie?”
“If you’d like. Bun, any suggestions?” You blink. It’s a surprise, one that’s never occurred to you, the ability to simply choose a movie.
“Umm… no?”
“What’s yer favorite?”
“I don’t know. Whatever is fine. What do you guys like?”
“We know what we like. We want to know what you like.” What do you like? Comedies, you suppose. Something light and funny, something to distract the never-ending stream of thoughts cycling through your head.
“Uh, have you guys ever seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall?” Johnny chuckles.
“It’s been a while.” He flicks through the icons on the screen, thumbing over to where he starts to type it in. What if they don’t like it? What if they’re humoring you? What if you picked wrong? “Or, if you don’t like that, we can do something else. Anything. I’m not picky. It doesn’t have to be-“
“Hey,” Simon murmurs, warm palm resting on your knee, “that’s perfect. We both like that one.”
“Dracula musical.” Johnny smiles, finding it easily and clicking play. Your breath catches at the ease of it all, of picking a movie and that being that, no anxiety about a reaction or something triggering popping up on screen.
You can just… enjoy it.
The light in their bathroom is a little too bright.
Your toes stretch across the tile, nerves thrashing in the pit of your stomach as you stare in the mirror.
You don’t know who it is looking back at you.
You don’t recognize the girl getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth, wearing a pair of pajama pants and Simon’s shirt.
There’s a disconnect, some semblance of wires crossing, some phantom of someone else, living in your skin.
Because it can’t be you, getting ready to crawl into bed between them. It can’t be you, who fell asleep with her head on Simon’s stomach during the movie, can’t be you who stole a kiss from Johnny as Simon propped his leg up on the stack of pillows.
You’re playing house. Playing a game.
It won’t last.
It can’t.
You wrap a finger up in the hem of Simon’s shirt, frayed and torn edges pulling apart below the seam. It’s an old one, something he tugged out of a drawer and tossed on the bed, faded graphic turned from white to grey against a rusted black backdrop. It’s soft, and worn, and comfortable, an article of clothing well loved, and you wonder if Johnny’s worn it too. If it’s been passed around, washed, and dried a hundred times.
“Everything alright?” Simon leans into the bathroom, Johnny in view just past his shoulder. He’s not wearing a shirt, just soft, flannel pants, and you stare at the scars dotting his torso before dragging your gaze away.
“Yeah, sorry… I got distracted.” You turn the tap, rinsing your toothbrush before placing it by itself on the edge of the sink, out of place next to the cup holding theirs, and Penny’s.
You blink slow, allowing your eyes to close for a fraction of second.
“Ready for bed?” Johnny beams at you, lush and sleepy, hand outstretched, reaching.
You take a deep breath. “Yeah.”
Simon’s bedside lamp is still on, barely illuminating the dark. It’s quiet, and warm, and you bask in the space between their bodies, fingers playing idly with the hem of your shirt.
When Johnny’s fingers graze the skin under the fabric, your chest tightens. He strokes back and forth, over your navel, blazing heat from his palm tingling into your skin. You’re being torn in two, swallowed by the ocean, tugged in different directions.
You struggle to regulate your breathing, small draws coming in quicker, and Simon covers Johnny’s hand with his own, stopping the movement.
“Will you show us?” He murmurs.
“Sh-show you?”
“The scars.” Oh.
Will you?
Even though Simon’s already seen them, this feels different. This feels like a choice. Like you’re peeling something back, baring yourself.
You close your eyes and pull the bottom of your shirt to the top of your ribcage, cool air ghosting over your exposed skin. Johnny makes a sound, a twisted whisper of something pained, and you shiver.
A thumb slides over the raised skin on the left side of your belly. “These are from cigarettes?”
“Yes.” You almost want to look, want to see, but can’t bring yourself to do it, to witness their disgust, their shock. You’re hollow. Drifting. Falling away from them. Someone shifts, the bed moves, jostles slightly, but you block it out. Every muscle in your body is taut, jaw locked, and fists clenched.
This morning was intimate but this… this is something else. Something more.
“Can ye feel them, still? Do they hurt?” Two hands roam, rubbing gently, skimming.
“No but… they’re hideous.”
“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.” Your heart cracks, and the light touch of fingertips disappears, replaced with a swath of breath and then-
Lips.
He’s kissing them.
It stops your heart, dries your mouth. Robs you of your breath, your head spinning into an enormous vortex of disbelief. Simon’s mouth travels, dotting your skin between each ugly, raised bump, carefully pressing a kiss to each one, gradually. He takes his time, and with your eyes closed, you can feel his body hovering above you, holding steady just over your frame. Johnny’s forehead rests against yours, and he cups your face, thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek, sweet and slow.
“Will ye tell us… about how you got them? Who gave them to ye?” Simon cradles your hips, firm pressure folding into your skin, the curve there, and he squeezes, prompting you, expecting. You don’t know how he does it, how he’s so easily able to guide you, and Johnny. It’s seamless.
“I…” You don’t know what to say, if you were to say anything at all. How to answer. How to begin to explain. How to confirm what you know they already suspect, how to start this story. This nightmare.
Are you really doing this? Could you really do this?
There’s a sliver of sun, begging. Pleading. It rails against the cracks in your heart, desperate.
So, you spit out the only thing you know for sure.
“He liked to hurt me.”
“Who?” Simon’s question is immediate, and your ribs expand with a long breath.
“My… ex.” Stop talking. Stop this, stop it, stop- “He’s a monster.”
“The healed breaks on your x-rays…” He trails off, and you reach blindly, searching for an anchor. Johnny gives it to you, clutching your hand in his, thumb soothing over your knuckles.
“Yes.”
“And more.” Simon whispers, and Johnny draws a sharp breath. You nod.
“And more.”
“Your neck, and shoulder?” There’s a long silence, as you sit atop the wall. As you wait and try to decide if you want to jump off or continue to sit here… trapped at the top, teetering on the edge while they wait below.
You’re in their life now. You said you’d try. They should know.
You trust them.
Don’t you?
“He found me.” You confess, cracked and bleeding and hung out to dry. Three words barely scratching the surface of the truth, saying almost nothing at all and still so much. You stumble, and panic, fear bubbling up to the surface. “I’m sorry, I told you before- I said-“
“And we told ye; nothing is going to get ye while ye’re with us. Ye’re safe, bunny.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about!” you blurt, a near snap, and Johnny freezes. “It’s you guys, and Penny, and your friends, you- you don’t know what he’s capable of. You don’t understand. He’s chased me across the world, he always finds me, no matter what, no matter what I do, o-or where I go-” You’re rambling, nearly hyperventilating, and slipping away, succumbing to the rolling black clouds overtaking your mouth and mind, stuttering and falling, drowning in an endless darkness.
They don’t know. They don’t understand. They can’t.
You’re weak. You’re stupid. You’re nothing.
You’re a child again. A lost girl. Alone and scared. Trapped in the dark.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” You shake your head, and Simon catches it between his palms, holding you still. You can fight and flail and run, but he’s still there. Strong and safe and beautiful in every way, a foundation of love, of trust. “It’s just us, we’re here. With you. Look.” Johnny tightens his hold, and your bones rattle inside your skin, aching and splintering, shredding you from the inside out.
“I can’t.” You hiss, trying to curl away. You can’t face them, or this. The reality. The truth.
It’s easier to run. Who were you kidding? You can’t do this. You should have already been gone.
But they won’t let you go. Not now. Not when they have you so close to the light. So close to the sun.
And maybe it’s time to accept it.
“Look at me, pretty girl.” Johnny murmurs. “Ye can do it.” The pull of his voice drags you closer, comforts you, and you long for him, long to see his blue eyes, overgrown mohawk and gorgeous smile. You long to relax into him, to hear the thump of his heart, steady and strong. He’s a lighthouse in the pitch-black night, a guiding light. It’s enough to lessen pressure building in the back of your skull, and you slowly blink, both of their concerned faces coming into view.
The three of you linger silence, holding each other, decompressing from your confession, your fear that feels too much sometimes. It all fades, night turning long, and eventually you yawn, blinking away the sleepy stars in your eyes.
“There’s our bunny.” Simon kisses your cheek. “My good girl.” My good girl. Turning it over in your mind makes you squirm, allowing it ricochet back and forth with his accent, and you wish you could latch onto it, memorize it, hear it every day. Johnny gives you a bemused smile.
“Ye liked that?” He raises an eyebrow at Simon, and then presses his lips to your ear, whispering. “Ye want to be a good girl for daddy, little bunny?” Daddy. You choke. You anticipate disgust, revulsion, but none of it comes.
Only… intrigue. Warmth.
“I think that’s enough for tonight.” Simon interrupts gently. “Thank you, sweetheart. For trusting us. I know it’s hard.” You turn into Johnny, and Simon rolls to flick out the light, pulling up tight behind you, sliding an arm under the pillows. You burrow deeper into the blankets, snuggling between them to find the warmest spots, and sigh.
“You both… make it easier. You make it easy.”
The world from yesterday is forgotten the next day when Penny wakes up with a fever.
The house is thrown into confined, regulated chaos, but chaos all the same. She wails almost the entirety of the morning, miserable, and you ache for both her, and her dads, who are unmoored and anxious. You don’t even balk when Simon asks you to hold her, explaining he has to call her pediatrician.
“Hey, you’re okay.” You coo, rubbing her back. She’s warm to the touch, but not scorching, and it gives you some comfort, even with what little you know about peds. You rock her, pacing, as Johnny watches uneasily from the couch, typing unending questions into a web search about babies and fevers. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel good.”
“It’s 38.1… that’s fine, right? As long as it’s under 39?”
“I think so.” You try to reassure him. “I’m not a little human nurse though, so I can’t be sure. But it hasn’t been that long, Johnny. We don’t need to worry until at least twenty-four hours.” He nods, lips quirking into a small smile. “What?”
“Ye said we.”
“Well… yeah…” you trail off, and he shakes his head.
“Jus’ like the sound of it, is all. Like how ye look, holdin’ our baby.” You give him a look, half exasperated, half doe eyed, as always, because you can’t help but feel a little lovestruck or dazed whenever you glance his way, always taken by him, no matter the moment.
Simon steps back inside from the patio, swooping to rub his nose in Johnny’s hair and squeeze his shoulder affectionately. “The pediatrician says if she gets worse, or doesn’t improve by tomorrow, to bring her in.”
“Good.” You bounce her, propping her up on your shoulder. “That’s good.” She gurgles, croaking through her miserable fever. “Poor baby girl, I’m sorry.” You pat her again, trying to help settle her-
She coughs, and something warm runs down your back.
“Shite.” Johnny curses, Simon immediately trying to pull her from your arms, but you shake your head.
“There’s no sense in her throwing up on you too.” You explain.
“I’ll go grab a towel, and some clothes. Do you want to change your shirt?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You keep your hand steady on her back. You’ll both need a thorough wipe down now, maybe even a shower.
“Sorry, bun.” Johnny frowns, but you reassure him, still rocking Penny in your arms.
“It’s fine, really. I’ve been through way worse with bodily fluids, trust me.” The bottom stair creaks, in the way that it only does for Simon, his mass too much for one of the wooden slats.
When you look up, you realize he’s not moving, only standing shock still, clothes and towel and a baby blanket in one hand,
and the contents of the little black bag in the other.
You left it on the dresser. You left it out in the open, unzipped, on the dresser.
Your blood freezes. Johnny frowns, looking between his partner and you, trying to desperately draw a conclusion that doesn’t come.
Simon holds the little navy-blue book up, the one with your picture in it, but with a name they won’t recognize. A person they wouldn’t know.
A person you don’t even know, yet. A new life. A new identity.
“What’s that?” Johnny’s quizzical, intrigued.
“Bunny.” Simon breathes, and you shake your head. It’s all you can do, just shake your head back and forth until your brain is rattling around in your skull.
You can’t stop it.
They’ll never love you. They won’t accept you. They won’t understand.
“It’s- it’s j-just in case,” you stammer, panicked and tongue tied. “you… you don’t understand, I have to have it… just in case.”
“What is it?” Johnny demands, and Simon flips the front of the booklet around-
revealing the cover of a brand-new American passport.
#peaches writes#simple math#ghoap x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghost x soap x reader#soap x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#ghost x reader x soap#johnny mactavish x reader#ghost x reader
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feastdance dashboard simulator
💋queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow
it’s so sick that people keep criticizing queen cersei as if she’s not the first female ruler of westeros??? literally elevating bastards and women to her small council is super fucking progressive as is creating the precedent of dismissing unfit kingsguard??
🪨dragonstoner Follow
aren’t all of her children literally bastards born of incest
💋 queen-cersei-defense-squad Follow
oh so now you’re going to listen to stannis baratheon, known misogynist, kinslayer, fornicator, team green supporter, and homophobe, huh.
🦑pykedyke
okay guys i know there’s no “perfect candidate” but you have to vote in the kingsmoot anyways not voting is how someone like e****n g*****y wins and literally anyone is better than him. suck it up and row to the polls
🦈reaveherihardlyknowher
ohhhh not this “vote your crew no matter who” “blue lips man bad” bullshit again. fuck off idgaf which godless man sits the seastone chair i’m not voting for asha shes literally a neoliberal
🦷 lastoftheegiants
first i had to give up my rights and then i had to give up my gods just to not get killed by fucking wights but i literally cannot believe the nights watch made me give up my strap as part of the treasure ransom. shit was expensive it was IVORY. i hate southerners so much i hope the lord commander dies
🌪️kinslayerr
DO NOT COME TO THE RIVERLANDS
🍓silverspurs Follow
why
🌪️kinslayerr
there’s riverlands here
🧜♂️theythemderly
freys
🌾maidencool
my cousin got eaten by rats in harrenhal
🐎brackennation Follow
dumb cunts wearing raven feather cloaks strutting around who think they’re better than you but they’re not better than you
🌟sevenstar
i saw a guy get killed and then just stand back up and start fighting again because his friend kissed him on the mouth down here once
🦌whitehart
giant feral pack of 60 wolves running around
🍓silverspurs Follow
ok understandable have a nice day
🫧bastardwaters
i hate the fucking sparrows can we be normal for five minutes or can we just not have shit in the crownlands
☠️real-stormlands-patriot Follow
ITS LORD COMMANDOVER #RIPBOZO
🐦⬛mormonts-raven-bot Follow
CORN! DEATH! CORN!
(CAW! I follow members of the Night's Watch to remind them of their oaths!)
🦷 lastoftheegiants
????
🍋floriansjonquil
Loras Tyrell x Queen of Love and Beauty!Reader Imagines
Keep Reading
🪻maidens-smile Follow
girl this is notttttt the time he literally just fucking died at dragonstone?
💎oathkeeper
should’ve stanned jaime #LORASFELLOFF
💐flowerknight
one kill yourself jaime lannister is an honorless kingslaying turncloak two i heard loras tyrell was literally fine?
👊fleabottomtop
lord davos seaworth, the class traitor from the stannis baratheon administration, is a nasty little thottie and just died from making it clap in white harbor
🌅girlheir
this tower fucking sucks.
🌅girlheir
i’m just like rhaenyra targaryen for real
🌅girlheir
🐀ratcook5000 Follow
people meat tastes good asf when you don’t have a wench in your ear saying it violates guest right
🐺threeeyedwolf
🍒ladylance
need that targ girl in mereen to get those lizards over here and liberate this website by any means necessary cause what the fuck is going on
#asoiaf#affc#adwd#its been so long since i did one of these. missed it#valyrianscrolls#dashboard simulator
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Admittedly the way people talk about motherhood makes me a bit sad. Both in the world at large and on here. It's true that as women we have essentially been treated as incubators and the natural capability of our bodies was/is exploited and used to keep us in line. But I really do think that motherhood, carrying and raising children, is beautiful and something to be appreciated. We literally have the power to create life and men don't. True, not all women can give birth but anyone who can give birth is a woman. And while I capitulate that we used to be treated like incubators in the past, some people use this term to even describe pregnancies that are wanted. And I think it's a bit misogynistic to compare something as cold and machine-like as an incubator to something women are naturally able to do. It feels objectifying.
I feel like a lot of radical feminists talk about pregnancy as if it were a travesty. As if you've become corrupted by an evil force. I know that pregnancy can have a serious impact on a woman's body but sometimes I feel like the way people talk about pregnancy on here is misogynistic towards women who want to be pregnant. I don't think it's really that progressive to talk about something that women's bodies are naturally able to do as if it were some sort of curse. Many of us see it that way because men used to use our reproductive capabilities as a way to control us, and still do to an extent. We can't stoop to their level. It's not inherently a bad thing.
I've also noticed that a lot of societal messaging seems to imply that pregnancy is an inferior state. Both misogynists and radical feminists talk about it as if it means your life is over. That you're nothing more than a mother now. That you've been defeated by the patriarchy. And while I understand that the feminist perspective is different (it's critiquing the misogynist perspective), I've never really seen radical feminists try to empower mothers or talk about how we can change the way society views motherhood. A lot of them seem to think no women should be mothers at all. Motherhood is just going to be a part of our reality. We're living things and it's in our nature to reproduce. It is ultimately a choice but human nature is powerful. Antinatalism is not going to happen, sorry. And I feel like pregnancy is mocked. Women are mocked for things like morning sickness and cravings. Pregnant women often aren't taken seriously because of their "hormones". There's a reason why so many people find m-preg so humorous.
In many ways it does suck to be a mother, but that's because of societal issues. I do believe it's misogynistic to denigrate the concept or pregnancy as a whole. I'll never believe that something women's bodies are naturally able to do cannot coexist with female liberation.
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this is the same reason why blatantly transmisogynistic transmasc “ex” terfs and detransitioners are welcomed back to community as well. now sure there’s variables here, like that some people really wanna believe that people can change even if they don’t want to, but these are ultimately still deeply informed by the root issue: that transmisogyny in community is generally seen as gauche or poor form rather than a serious problem that needs to be stood against. this is how you wind up with self described trans positive lesbians still making excuses for and palling around butches who can’t go a day without talking about how female masculinity is at risk from liberal gender ideology; sure they sound bad, but they don’t mean it like that, they’re just, like, being really butch, it’s not that big of a deal. everyone gets second, third, fourth chances and more regardless of what they say or do when it comes to transmisogyny for the simple reason that the majority still struggles to give a shit
#& thusly transmisogyny gains further footholds and transfems are further alienated out of queer spaces. we have to stop letting it happen!#sasha speaks#transmisogyny#genderposting
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i got this like. acacia wood platter w/ leather handles on the side, about a foot and a half in diameter. they were gonna throw it out at work but it looked so NICE so i stuffed it in my backback (it BARELY fit) & then took it home
so now i have this fancy wood platter and i have No idea what im supposed to do with it
#speculation nation#to be fair i also have a giant metal pot from work that i Also have no idea what to do with#it. is being used as dumbbell storage (for dumbbells that i Do Not Use)#i put the platter on the table and im just like. lookin at it like. what the Fuck are u gonna do#idfk man but it sure does look nice. barely even used. mine now.#add it to the collection of Random Items Taken From Work#including a mini fake bouquet. TWO teal wash rags. a dog on a stack of books statue. and a set of male and female bathroom signs#i still need to do smth with those signs lol i literally stole them and then had a whole horrible life time and so they just#theyre still sitting on my table in the baggy i snuck them out in. idfk#oh did i say steal i mean liberated. they werent getting used so theyre mine now#just like i liberated the dog and the towels#the bouquet was gonna b tossed AS was the pot AND the platter#so only HALF of these r me stealing- ahem- liberating from work#for legal purposes this is all a joke#lksdjflskdfj ok REALLY it's just lil things that arent missed. im giving them a home. getting rid of the clutter at work#god knows we threw out SO much shit today. me taking a pair of signs that have no use there anymore is not evil by any means#and i really need to find a good use for them. i own a pair of male and female bathroom signs and i NEED to use them for smth hilarious
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